1 00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:08,925 [opening theme music playing] 2 00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:11,386 [man] Hey! 3 00:00:24,482 --> 00:00:26,484 If we're gonna catch up to the Archdruidess, 4 00:00:26,568 --> 00:00:28,027 we'll need our best horses. 5 00:00:28,111 --> 00:00:29,863 Or some really fast cows. 6 00:00:29,946 --> 00:00:30,822 [Zøg babbling] 7 00:00:30,905 --> 00:00:32,157 Oh, no. Dad! 8 00:00:33,199 --> 00:00:34,325 [indistinct chatter] 9 00:00:34,951 --> 00:00:37,871 Kiddo, I would love to have you as one of my exes, 10 00:00:37,954 --> 00:00:41,666 but I think it's best if you think of me as your slutty grandma. 11 00:00:41,750 --> 00:00:43,460 I would be honored. 12 00:00:43,543 --> 00:00:45,295 -[kisses] -[Zøg continues babbling] 13 00:00:47,505 --> 00:00:50,925 Okay, everybody! Move along. Haven't you seen a honking king before? 14 00:00:51,009 --> 00:00:53,470 Elfo, don't wander off. We're outta here in 30 seconds. 15 00:00:54,220 --> 00:00:55,096 [Elfo] Hmm. 16 00:00:55,180 --> 00:00:56,765 Hey! Wedding's cancelled. 17 00:00:56,848 --> 00:01:00,310 The reception's that way. The faster you run, the more beer you get. 18 00:01:00,393 --> 00:01:02,187 [crowd clamoring] 19 00:01:02,270 --> 00:01:03,438 [Zøg groans] 20 00:01:03,521 --> 00:01:05,356 [suspenseful music playing] 21 00:01:13,239 --> 00:01:14,491 Mmm. 22 00:01:14,574 --> 00:01:15,825 [groaning] 23 00:01:17,410 --> 00:01:18,620 [babbling] 24 00:01:21,164 --> 00:01:23,583 Dad, are you gonna be okay? I gotta go now. 25 00:01:23,666 --> 00:01:28,421 I got Pendergast to look after me. Maybe we'll go bowling. 26 00:01:28,505 --> 00:01:31,883 Hey, sorry for how things turned out. But thanks for saving me. 27 00:01:31,966 --> 00:01:32,926 [babbling] 28 00:01:33,009 --> 00:01:35,178 It's the least I could do after killing you. 29 00:01:37,972 --> 00:01:41,518 -Ooh! Lookie, a black kitty-cat. -I told you, I'm not a cat! 30 00:01:41,601 --> 00:01:44,521 Luci, I need you to stay here and take care of my dad. 31 00:01:44,604 --> 00:01:47,899 What? No! No way in hell. I'm not doin' it. 32 00:01:47,982 --> 00:01:51,236 You can't make me. Not a chance. [purring] 33 00:01:52,195 --> 00:01:53,655 [moans] 34 00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:56,574 Don't even think about it. 35 00:01:56,658 --> 00:01:58,785 Ah, okay, fine. 36 00:01:58,868 --> 00:02:00,829 Would you mind wiping off my drool? 37 00:02:00,912 --> 00:02:02,330 [engine revs] 38 00:02:02,413 --> 00:02:03,748 Look what I found! 39 00:02:06,209 --> 00:02:08,378 -What? But I thought… -You thought wrong. 40 00:02:09,045 --> 00:02:10,630 [brakes screeching] 41 00:02:19,430 --> 00:02:20,682 [engine revving] 42 00:02:33,403 --> 00:02:35,113 [grunts] What are you doin', you? 43 00:02:35,196 --> 00:02:37,740 [Elfo] Wait there! We'll be right back! 44 00:02:38,324 --> 00:02:41,995 I'm never riding a horse again! This is the height of luxury. 45 00:02:42,078 --> 00:02:43,454 [bugs splattering] 46 00:02:43,538 --> 00:02:44,372 Yeah! 47 00:02:53,256 --> 00:02:54,632 Are we on the right path? 48 00:02:54,716 --> 00:02:56,467 -[faintly] Seconds from now-- -What? 49 00:02:56,551 --> 00:02:58,761 -[faintly] Seconds from now-- -What? 50 00:02:58,845 --> 00:03:03,016 [loudly] I said, "Seconds from now, take a sharp right turn!" 51 00:03:03,099 --> 00:03:04,309 [both scream] 52 00:03:13,776 --> 00:03:15,153 [Elfo screams] 53 00:03:19,616 --> 00:03:20,700 Are you okay, Elfo? 54 00:03:20,783 --> 00:03:23,036 Yes, but I can never have children now. 55 00:03:23,119 --> 00:03:24,495 [faint laughter] 56 00:03:25,204 --> 00:03:26,205 Hey! 57 00:03:26,289 --> 00:03:27,665 [laughter continues] 58 00:03:29,459 --> 00:03:33,212 What is that? A large ape and an unfinished man? 59 00:03:33,296 --> 00:03:36,507 Oh! Princess Tiabeanie and an unfinished man. 60 00:03:36,591 --> 00:03:37,759 What a surprise! 61 00:03:37,842 --> 00:03:41,721 Old man Malfus! Laughing Horse! Malfus, maybe you can help us-- 62 00:03:41,804 --> 00:03:47,101 [Malfus] It is written on the walls that you must take this horse on your journey. 63 00:03:47,185 --> 00:03:48,895 You're writing that right now. 64 00:03:49,687 --> 00:03:51,481 Just take the ding-dang horse. 65 00:03:51,564 --> 00:03:53,566 And all his horse porn. 66 00:03:56,611 --> 00:03:59,322 Come on, boy, giddy up. Thanks, Malfus! 67 00:03:59,405 --> 00:04:01,032 [Laughing Horse laughs] 68 00:04:01,824 --> 00:04:04,535 [Malfus] Wait! You took the wrong box! 69 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:09,290 Elfo, what are you doing? Pay attention! 70 00:04:09,374 --> 00:04:12,752 Oh, sorry, Bean. I'm reading a really interesting pictorial. 71 00:04:15,463 --> 00:04:16,506 Aw! 72 00:04:19,842 --> 00:04:22,971 And the old man had a candy cane! 73 00:04:23,054 --> 00:04:25,682 -[laughs] -[Bean groans] 74 00:04:25,765 --> 00:04:28,017 Come on, Bean! This is gold! 75 00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:29,227 [laughs] 76 00:04:29,310 --> 00:04:31,604 Laughing Horse, you're just encouraging him. 77 00:04:31,688 --> 00:04:34,440 Okay, okay, three elves walk into a candy bar-- 78 00:04:34,524 --> 00:04:35,817 [laughs] 79 00:04:36,776 --> 00:04:39,737 -He even laughs at the setups! -[sighs heavily] 80 00:04:42,824 --> 00:04:45,034 What kind of weird fog is this? 81 00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:48,162 My hat is drooping and my shoes are uncurling. 82 00:04:48,246 --> 00:04:50,915 Oh, my God, Bean, I know what happened. 83 00:04:50,999 --> 00:04:54,085 We died when we fell off the cliff. And now we're in Heaven! 84 00:04:54,168 --> 00:04:56,087 [Bean] Better than Heaven, Elfo. 85 00:04:57,505 --> 00:04:59,132 Welcome to Steamland. 86 00:05:06,931 --> 00:05:09,600 [Bean] Laughing Horse stands out like a laughing thumb. 87 00:05:09,684 --> 00:05:11,269 We gotta leave him somewhere safe. 88 00:05:16,607 --> 00:05:18,776 Make us some money while we're away! 89 00:05:18,860 --> 00:05:19,819 [laughs] 90 00:05:20,528 --> 00:05:21,988 Giddy up, horsey! 91 00:05:22,071 --> 00:05:23,197 [groans] 92 00:05:26,284 --> 00:05:30,204 -[man 1] What's with the garden gnome? -[man 2] Hey, lady, your kid's a freak! 93 00:05:30,288 --> 00:05:32,623 We gotta cover up those pointy ears, dude. 94 00:05:32,707 --> 00:05:34,792 I don't think they get lots of elves around here. 95 00:05:34,876 --> 00:05:37,962 I don't think they get lots of giant mouse teeth, either. 96 00:05:38,046 --> 00:05:41,174 Sorry, I'm a little damp and cranky. Look at my shoes. 97 00:05:42,383 --> 00:05:43,259 [Elfo exclaims] 98 00:05:46,512 --> 00:05:47,555 Welcome, gentlemen. 99 00:05:47,638 --> 00:05:49,515 She's not a man, she's a manly lady. 100 00:05:49,599 --> 00:05:50,641 He's not a man, either. 101 00:05:50,725 --> 00:05:52,810 Don't matter to me which what way you are. 102 00:05:52,894 --> 00:05:54,479 It's pitch black in there, anyway. 103 00:05:54,562 --> 00:05:55,897 Go on, little buddy. 104 00:05:55,980 --> 00:06:01,319 And be sure not to grab someone else's clothes on the way out, okay? 105 00:06:05,615 --> 00:06:06,449 Go! 106 00:06:09,118 --> 00:06:12,705 Oh, look at all these wallets. People are so trusting. 107 00:06:13,956 --> 00:06:15,166 Ooh! 108 00:06:17,168 --> 00:06:18,002 Hey, Bean! 109 00:06:18,086 --> 00:06:20,088 -What took you so long? -[grunts] 110 00:06:20,171 --> 00:06:23,591 -Unbelievable. -Quick, before they get angry! 111 00:06:24,175 --> 00:06:25,426 Stop, thief! 112 00:06:25,510 --> 00:06:27,011 [monkey screeches] 113 00:06:28,513 --> 00:06:29,472 [pants] 114 00:06:30,765 --> 00:06:33,684 -How do I look? -Like a wealthy potbelly stove. 115 00:06:33,768 --> 00:06:34,894 You think? 116 00:06:38,147 --> 00:06:39,107 [grunts] 117 00:06:39,649 --> 00:06:42,068 This place has a lot of moving parts, so stick close. 118 00:06:42,151 --> 00:06:43,069 Can I hold your hand? 119 00:06:43,152 --> 00:06:44,654 That won't be necessary. 120 00:06:44,737 --> 00:06:45,905 Where are you going? 121 00:06:45,988 --> 00:06:48,241 -Away, it seems. -Elfo! 122 00:06:48,324 --> 00:06:50,451 -Excuse me! Pardon me! One side! -[exclaiming] 123 00:06:50,535 --> 00:06:51,619 -[brakes squealing] -[man] Ow. 124 00:06:51,702 --> 00:06:52,662 [Archdruidess] Shaddup! 125 00:06:52,745 --> 00:06:55,665 Those were my legs, lady! You could've used a hand signal! 126 00:06:55,748 --> 00:06:57,333 Hand signal, eh? 127 00:06:57,416 --> 00:06:58,584 Ow! Ow! 128 00:06:59,168 --> 00:07:00,419 [Elfo] Go after her, Bean! 129 00:07:00,503 --> 00:07:02,839 I'm addicted to stealing wallets now. 130 00:07:05,550 --> 00:07:07,260 [panting] Whoa! 131 00:07:07,343 --> 00:07:08,719 [grunting] 132 00:07:15,852 --> 00:07:16,769 Yes! 133 00:07:16,853 --> 00:07:18,187 Ow! 134 00:07:22,775 --> 00:07:24,652 [panting] 135 00:07:26,612 --> 00:07:27,738 Whoa! 136 00:07:30,491 --> 00:07:31,409 Oh! 137 00:07:36,747 --> 00:07:40,585 [man on-screen] Princess Diandra, we must return the Orb of Splen-dor 138 00:07:40,668 --> 00:07:42,462 lest it destroy the kingdom. 139 00:07:42,545 --> 00:07:46,174 [scoffs] Come on! Who talks that way? 140 00:07:46,257 --> 00:07:50,678 But the Orb also gives life to Zandoro, my elf companion. 141 00:07:51,512 --> 00:07:54,265 Hello, it is I, Zandoro. 142 00:07:54,348 --> 00:07:57,226 [scoffing] Uh, what? That's an elf? 143 00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:58,603 Hey, pipe down, will ya? 144 00:07:58,686 --> 00:08:01,481 If I wanted to be annoyed, I'd be home with my family! Shush! 145 00:08:01,564 --> 00:08:04,317 Uh, no, actually, I won't shush! 146 00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:05,318 [sword swishing] 147 00:08:05,401 --> 00:08:09,155 Ugh, and swords don't make a shling sound every time you wave 'em around. 148 00:08:09,238 --> 00:08:10,907 That's just lazy sound design. 149 00:08:10,990 --> 00:08:13,868 -[sword swishing] -Ugh, there it goes again. 150 00:08:13,951 --> 00:08:16,245 Shling, shling, shling! 151 00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:18,748 -It's a freakin' shling party. Ugh. -[audience shushing] 152 00:08:18,831 --> 00:08:19,665 [man] Quiet. 153 00:08:19,749 --> 00:08:21,292 Now they're dancing? 154 00:08:21,375 --> 00:08:24,795 Why do they have scenes like this that don't move the story along? 155 00:08:27,131 --> 00:08:30,259 -Ow! -Have some dignity, man! This won't do! 156 00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:31,177 Here. 157 00:08:31,260 --> 00:08:33,930 -Oh! Thank you so much. -None of it, sir. 158 00:08:34,013 --> 00:08:36,432 Anything for a fellow LGS member, what-what. 159 00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:37,475 A what-what what? 160 00:08:37,558 --> 00:08:40,311 League of Gallivanting Scrutinators, of course. 161 00:08:40,394 --> 00:08:41,646 The explorers' club. 162 00:08:41,729 --> 00:08:43,481 [chuckles] What? 163 00:08:43,564 --> 00:08:47,026 Now come along. They stop serving breakfast cocktails in five minutes. 164 00:08:59,121 --> 00:09:01,415 Your whisky sour, sir. 165 00:09:02,833 --> 00:09:04,168 Mmm, yum. 166 00:09:04,252 --> 00:09:05,878 Next time just bring the sour part. 167 00:09:05,962 --> 00:09:07,755 Less to carry, thank you. 168 00:09:08,381 --> 00:09:11,467 [scoffs] And Bean thought I couldn't take care of myself. 169 00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:14,220 There I was, trapped on the mountain peak. 170 00:09:14,303 --> 00:09:19,225 On one side, a ferocious yeti. On the other side, a ferocious bigfoot. 171 00:09:19,308 --> 00:09:21,060 A bigfoot and yeti? 172 00:09:21,143 --> 00:09:23,646 A veritable sandwich of danger. 173 00:09:23,729 --> 00:09:25,231 Whatever did you do? 174 00:09:25,314 --> 00:09:29,235 Why, I introduced them to each other and officiated at their wedding! 175 00:09:29,318 --> 00:09:33,364 Nine months later, I was godmother to young Fleebor. 176 00:09:33,447 --> 00:09:34,782 To Fleebor! 177 00:09:35,283 --> 00:09:36,492 [indistinct chatter] 178 00:09:37,451 --> 00:09:39,662 Hey! I've been to Hell. 179 00:09:39,745 --> 00:09:41,622 -[all gasp] -[monocle splashes] 180 00:09:45,126 --> 00:09:46,085 Hmm. 181 00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:49,672 [panting] 182 00:09:55,052 --> 00:09:56,095 [breathing heavily] 183 00:10:00,391 --> 00:10:01,392 Okay, what is this? 184 00:10:01,475 --> 00:10:03,561 Oh, my God. Calm down. 185 00:10:03,644 --> 00:10:06,939 Oh, no. This is your life now… forever! 186 00:10:07,940 --> 00:10:08,983 [yells] 187 00:10:10,026 --> 00:10:11,152 [laughs] 188 00:10:11,235 --> 00:10:14,071 I defeated your Portal of Many Rotations. 189 00:10:14,155 --> 00:10:17,074 Congratulations. Just in time for the morning shift. 190 00:10:17,158 --> 00:10:18,451 [siren blowing] 191 00:10:22,872 --> 00:10:23,956 Oh! 192 00:10:37,261 --> 00:10:38,179 Hmm. 193 00:10:42,516 --> 00:10:43,559 [snoring] 194 00:10:55,529 --> 00:10:56,864 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 195 00:10:56,947 --> 00:11:00,201 Come back here, kitty, and take a cat nap with me. 196 00:11:00,284 --> 00:11:01,827 [rope winding up] 197 00:11:01,911 --> 00:11:02,995 -[thud] -[Luci] Ow! 198 00:11:04,955 --> 00:11:06,791 [grunts] Neither of us are cats! 199 00:11:07,291 --> 00:11:10,127 -[grunts] -See, ain't that nice? 200 00:11:10,211 --> 00:11:12,129 You're my little spoon. 201 00:11:12,213 --> 00:11:14,382 Well, I'm gonna knife you in your throat. 202 00:11:14,465 --> 00:11:16,175 -[grunts] -What the… 203 00:11:16,842 --> 00:11:17,718 [Zøg screams] 204 00:11:21,305 --> 00:11:23,933 Your Majesty, so nice to have company. 205 00:11:24,016 --> 00:11:26,185 This is usually such a lonely journey. 206 00:11:29,772 --> 00:11:32,900 Now swim for it, before the crabs swarm over you. 207 00:11:33,692 --> 00:11:35,236 Oh, no. 208 00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:42,201 [buzzing] 209 00:11:52,169 --> 00:11:55,005 You should crank out a few more before the lunch whistle blows. 210 00:11:55,089 --> 00:11:57,049 A whistle tells you when to eat? 211 00:11:57,133 --> 00:11:59,927 And another for when to work, and another for when to take breaks, 212 00:12:00,010 --> 00:12:02,012 and another for when to stop daydreaming. 213 00:12:02,096 --> 00:12:04,056 Wow. Whistles control you. 214 00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:05,349 [whistle hoots] 215 00:12:06,809 --> 00:12:08,018 [Bean] Finally! Lunch! 216 00:12:08,102 --> 00:12:10,062 No, they're just testing our product. 217 00:12:13,983 --> 00:12:15,151 [whistle hoots] 218 00:12:17,486 --> 00:12:19,071 That's the lunchtime whistle. 219 00:12:22,950 --> 00:12:23,951 The automat. 220 00:12:24,034 --> 00:12:26,412 Open any glass door where you see a sandwich. 221 00:12:28,289 --> 00:12:31,333 Don't open the doors which have bloodshot eyes staring back at you. 222 00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:32,251 Why? 223 00:12:32,334 --> 00:12:33,919 Those are the angry sandwich makers. 224 00:12:34,003 --> 00:12:35,212 Why are they angry? 225 00:12:35,296 --> 00:12:36,672 They get paid in sandwiches. 226 00:12:43,304 --> 00:12:46,056 [Bean] Wow! You can really taste the rage. 227 00:12:46,140 --> 00:12:48,392 Thanks for all this… Um… 228 00:12:48,476 --> 00:12:50,603 Gordy Stewson, happy worker. 229 00:12:50,686 --> 00:12:52,438 I'm… Tia. 230 00:12:52,521 --> 00:12:53,898 Yeah, that's it. 231 00:12:53,981 --> 00:12:57,568 Man, I wish the automat could give me what I really want. 232 00:12:57,651 --> 00:13:00,029 -And that is? -Someone who works here. 233 00:13:00,112 --> 00:13:04,283 Evil eyes, holier than thou attitude, always scheming. 234 00:13:04,366 --> 00:13:07,995 I'm guessing she works in Human Resources. She looks like this. 235 00:13:09,121 --> 00:13:10,998 That salami could be anyone. 236 00:13:11,081 --> 00:13:13,209 Tia, this company is gigantic 237 00:13:13,292 --> 00:13:16,378 and makes everything from blimps to buses to banjos. 238 00:13:16,462 --> 00:13:19,507 There's even a division that makes banjo music for blimps! 239 00:13:19,590 --> 00:13:22,885 Oh, I love "Foggy Mountain Airship Disaster." 240 00:13:22,968 --> 00:13:24,220 [imitates guitar] 241 00:13:24,303 --> 00:13:25,262 [imitates explosion] 242 00:13:25,804 --> 00:13:26,639 ♪ We're on fire ♪ 243 00:13:27,431 --> 00:13:28,641 [imitates screaming] 244 00:13:28,724 --> 00:13:29,558 Gordy. 245 00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:31,685 -Gordy! Gordy, focus. -Sorry. 246 00:13:31,769 --> 00:13:34,772 This meat woman you seek, she could work anywhere. 247 00:13:34,855 --> 00:13:37,900 But you know your way around. You could help me find her. 248 00:13:37,983 --> 00:13:41,320 Loitering outside of designated work zones is grounds for dismissal. 249 00:13:41,403 --> 00:13:44,114 So it's agreed, we don't get caught. 250 00:13:44,198 --> 00:13:46,450 Oh, I've been all over. 251 00:13:46,534 --> 00:13:51,372 Dankmire, Heaven, Mermaid Island, yeah, even the Lost City of Cremorrah. 252 00:13:51,455 --> 00:13:55,292 Which actually is now the Found City of Cremorrah since I was there, I suppose. 253 00:13:55,376 --> 00:13:56,710 [all laugh] 254 00:13:57,253 --> 00:13:58,546 -[man] Liar! -[all gasp] 255 00:13:58,629 --> 00:14:00,923 -What? -Are you calling me a liar? 256 00:14:01,006 --> 00:14:03,050 Because you didn't specifically mention me. 257 00:14:03,133 --> 00:14:04,009 I am, sir! 258 00:14:04,093 --> 00:14:07,596 And by club rules, I demand you produce proof of your exploits. 259 00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:12,226 Okay, well, um, this one time in Hell, I thought I saw a demon's butt, 260 00:14:12,309 --> 00:14:14,645 and then I realized it was just your mama's face. 261 00:14:14,728 --> 00:14:15,604 [all laugh] 262 00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:17,147 Oh, snaps! 263 00:14:17,231 --> 00:14:19,149 What you say has the ring of truth. 264 00:14:19,233 --> 00:14:20,859 Mother was a homely woman. 265 00:14:20,943 --> 00:14:24,238 I withdraw my challenge and salute your various exploits. 266 00:14:24,321 --> 00:14:25,656 [all] Huzzah! 267 00:14:32,955 --> 00:14:34,832 That's gotta be her! Come on. 268 00:14:34,915 --> 00:14:37,084 Be careful! Our lunch break's almost over. 269 00:14:38,085 --> 00:14:40,170 Oh, boy, here we go. 270 00:14:43,382 --> 00:14:44,341 [gasps] 271 00:14:44,925 --> 00:14:46,969 Hey, I'm makin' sandwiches here! 272 00:14:47,052 --> 00:14:48,012 Sorry, sorry! 273 00:14:48,095 --> 00:14:49,763 Get the hell outta here! 274 00:14:49,847 --> 00:14:51,390 Great sandwiches, by the way. 275 00:14:51,473 --> 00:14:54,226 -You could go easier on the mayonnaise. -[screams] 276 00:14:54,310 --> 00:14:55,185 Whoa! 277 00:14:55,853 --> 00:14:56,729 [chuckles] 278 00:14:58,355 --> 00:14:59,273 [whistle hoots] 279 00:14:59,356 --> 00:15:01,901 Oh, no, I can't remember what that whistle is for. 280 00:15:01,984 --> 00:15:03,903 We have to get back down to the line! 281 00:15:04,778 --> 00:15:05,779 [Bean] Whoa! 282 00:15:09,450 --> 00:15:11,160 -How do you do? -[Gordy] How do you do? 283 00:15:12,828 --> 00:15:13,662 [Bean grunts] 284 00:15:16,165 --> 00:15:18,542 By the way, you were right about the mayonnaise. 285 00:15:30,638 --> 00:15:35,309 Man, after-work drinks taste so much better than instead-of-work drinks. 286 00:15:35,392 --> 00:15:37,561 Tia, you're funny. Where are you from? 287 00:15:37,645 --> 00:15:39,063 Um, a country setting. 288 00:15:39,146 --> 00:15:42,483 It's kind of like a farm, with less milking and more stabbing. 289 00:15:42,566 --> 00:15:45,611 Well, wherever you grew up, you sure didn't learn about fear. 290 00:15:45,694 --> 00:15:47,029 Tell me about who you're after. 291 00:15:47,112 --> 00:15:50,199 She's a psycho. If I were afraid, I wouldn't be here. 292 00:15:50,282 --> 00:15:53,202 I'd be with my psycho dad. Or my psycho mom. 293 00:15:53,285 --> 00:15:55,204 I know a lot of psychos. 294 00:15:55,287 --> 00:15:57,665 Here's to hoping you aren't a psycho, too. 295 00:16:01,835 --> 00:16:02,711 [burps] 296 00:16:04,254 --> 00:16:07,091 [Gordy] That was kind of fun. You can sleep in there tonight. 297 00:16:07,174 --> 00:16:08,217 Thanks, Gordy. 298 00:16:08,300 --> 00:16:11,178 Sweet dreams, worker number 124C41. 299 00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:20,104 Oh! A buzzbrighter! 300 00:16:21,772 --> 00:16:23,399 [all] Turn that off! 301 00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:25,317 [Bean] Oh, sorry. 302 00:16:36,662 --> 00:16:37,830 [whistles hooting] 303 00:16:43,419 --> 00:16:44,420 Morning, Tia. 304 00:16:44,503 --> 00:16:47,798 Pretend we planned to meet here so no one yells at me for cutting in line. 305 00:16:48,632 --> 00:16:50,592 [Archdruidess over speakers] Attention, employees! 306 00:16:50,676 --> 00:16:54,680 Tonight is Company Night at Steamland Amusement Park. 307 00:16:54,763 --> 00:16:57,975 Ugh. I hate hanging out with work people outside work. 308 00:16:58,058 --> 00:17:00,102 What? They can still hear me? 309 00:17:00,185 --> 00:17:01,979 I thought you had to press the button. 310 00:17:02,062 --> 00:17:03,939 Attendance is mandatory, 311 00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:06,692 so get your butts down there, and don't gimme any 312 00:17:06,775 --> 00:17:10,612 "I can't come, my arm got chopped off by a propeller" crap. 313 00:17:10,696 --> 00:17:13,615 Also, happy birthday, Trudy in Blimpworks. 314 00:17:13,699 --> 00:17:15,868 That's her voice coming out of that horn! 315 00:17:15,951 --> 00:17:18,620 No wonder I couldn't find her. She shrank herself. 316 00:17:18,704 --> 00:17:20,831 Maybe the mean lady will be at the amusement park. 317 00:17:20,914 --> 00:17:26,837 And I was wondering if, um, you wanted to go with me, and-- 318 00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:30,132 Oh, I am totally gonna go. Look at this! 319 00:17:30,215 --> 00:17:34,678 I'm gonna ride the hell out of those rides and eat a pile of deep-fried batter dogs. 320 00:17:34,762 --> 00:17:37,890 Besides, it's mandatory, right? She'll have to be there. 321 00:17:37,973 --> 00:17:42,978 This could be my chance to nab her good, and get my face painted like a tiger, 322 00:17:43,062 --> 00:17:46,023 which I never have the opportunity to do back on the farm. 323 00:17:46,106 --> 00:17:48,317 And we… Why are you all nervous? 324 00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:50,444 I didn't know if you wanted to go with me. 325 00:17:50,527 --> 00:17:53,530 Of course! I don't know how to get to the amusement park on my own. 326 00:18:00,412 --> 00:18:01,663 [train whistle hoots] 327 00:18:15,594 --> 00:18:17,471 [carnival music playing] 328 00:18:28,816 --> 00:18:30,067 [man 1] Step right up, folks. 329 00:18:30,150 --> 00:18:33,112 Take a trip through the past, present and future of steam. 330 00:18:33,195 --> 00:18:36,323 It's as educational as it is moisturizing. 331 00:18:36,865 --> 00:18:37,991 There she is! 332 00:18:38,075 --> 00:18:40,285 Quick! She'll learn about steam before we do. 333 00:18:49,294 --> 00:18:52,798 [man 2 over speakers] Steam! The warm, damp touch of modern life. 334 00:18:52,881 --> 00:18:55,050 "But where does steam come from?" you ask, 335 00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:58,595 with the stupidity of someone expecting to learn at a carnival. 336 00:18:59,179 --> 00:19:02,266 -[Bean laughing] Whoa! -[man 2] Our journey begins here, 337 00:19:02,349 --> 00:19:08,188 underground, where geothermal chambers boil aquifers to enormous pressures. 338 00:19:08,272 --> 00:19:09,106 What the hell? 339 00:19:09,815 --> 00:19:10,774 Whoo! 340 00:19:10,858 --> 00:19:16,989 [man 2] Early Sauna Man used this natural resource to relax and maybe take a shvitz. 341 00:19:17,072 --> 00:19:22,202 Then one day, a lonely monk nobody liked was walking near an outcropping. 342 00:19:23,328 --> 00:19:24,955 When his remains were found, 343 00:19:25,038 --> 00:19:27,499 people discovered his robes were perfectly clean 344 00:19:27,583 --> 00:19:30,335 and no longer smelled like weird porridge. 345 00:19:30,419 --> 00:19:34,840 A new village was built around these steam holes to harness this power, 346 00:19:34,923 --> 00:19:37,801 a village called Dead Monksburg. 347 00:19:37,885 --> 00:19:39,636 Now called Steamland. 348 00:19:40,512 --> 00:19:44,016 Thanks to steam and the great Alva Gunderson, 349 00:19:44,099 --> 00:19:46,143 anything is possible. 350 00:19:46,226 --> 00:19:49,563 We hope you had a… blast? 351 00:19:49,646 --> 00:19:51,565 -[steam whooshes] -[Bean coughs] 352 00:19:57,821 --> 00:20:00,199 There's no way I'll see her in this crowd. 353 00:20:00,282 --> 00:20:02,201 What if we get up high on that wheelie thing? 354 00:20:02,284 --> 00:20:03,911 The Up-A-Go-Down Wheel? Sure. 355 00:20:05,120 --> 00:20:07,164 Tia, do you think you might stay here? 356 00:20:07,247 --> 00:20:10,334 Not on this Up-A-Go-Down Wheel, that would be a living hell. 357 00:20:10,417 --> 00:20:11,543 I mean in Steamland. 358 00:20:11,627 --> 00:20:14,296 -You've been so honest with me. -Totally honest. 359 00:20:14,379 --> 00:20:16,215 Well, I haven't been. 360 00:20:16,298 --> 00:20:19,509 Gordy, I'm not some innocent girl from a farmy place. 361 00:20:19,593 --> 00:20:22,638 I'm a princess from a magical land far away. 362 00:20:22,721 --> 00:20:25,349 Fairies, castles, demons, the works. 363 00:20:25,432 --> 00:20:27,059 Man, I sound like a nutjob. [chuckles] 364 00:20:27,142 --> 00:20:28,977 And that woman I'm looking for? 365 00:20:29,061 --> 00:20:32,940 She's an archdruidess and she says "shaddup" in the meanest way possible. 366 00:20:33,023 --> 00:20:36,818 Oh! I guess you'll want to get back to your fairytale life, then. 367 00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:38,695 My life isn't so great. 368 00:20:38,779 --> 00:20:41,490 I mean, I actually think yours is more free. 369 00:20:41,573 --> 00:20:44,701 Seriously, all you have to do is report to work, do your job, 370 00:20:44,785 --> 00:20:47,287 go home, and no one tries to kill you. 371 00:20:47,371 --> 00:20:49,373 It's her! Right in front of us! 372 00:20:49,456 --> 00:20:52,751 Or behind? I don't know, it's a circle. 373 00:20:52,834 --> 00:20:54,544 [suspenseful music playing] 374 00:20:57,464 --> 00:20:58,507 [man groans] 375 00:21:12,062 --> 00:21:13,605 [Bean] Come on, come on! 376 00:21:33,333 --> 00:21:35,627 No! …happening again! 377 00:21:37,671 --> 00:21:38,505 No, no! 378 00:21:39,089 --> 00:21:40,632 [yelling] Here we go! 379 00:21:44,594 --> 00:21:45,679 [elevator bell dings] 380 00:21:49,016 --> 00:21:51,018 Oh, no, we'll never get past him. 381 00:21:54,313 --> 00:21:55,522 Elevator Boy. 382 00:21:55,605 --> 00:21:57,149 None shall rise! 383 00:21:57,232 --> 00:21:58,108 Uh… 384 00:21:58,191 --> 00:22:02,487 We just came to tell you that everyone was waiting for you at the party. 385 00:22:02,571 --> 00:22:05,824 -No one ever misses me. -That's not true. 386 00:22:05,907 --> 00:22:09,578 Escalator Girl misses you. She asked if you were coming. 387 00:22:09,661 --> 00:22:12,247 Really? Escalator Girl asked about me? 388 00:22:12,331 --> 00:22:15,667 She said she really admires how you started from the bottom 389 00:22:15,751 --> 00:22:17,377 and then went straight to the top. 390 00:22:17,461 --> 00:22:19,046 And then back to the bottom. 391 00:22:19,129 --> 00:22:21,715 And she came here to tell you that herself. 392 00:22:21,798 --> 00:22:24,176 -No way. She's here? -Right this way. 393 00:22:24,926 --> 00:22:26,178 Go! 394 00:22:26,762 --> 00:22:29,556 Ha! That's what you get for believing in love. 395 00:22:30,474 --> 00:22:31,892 [elevator music playing] 396 00:23:03,131 --> 00:23:06,927 Ah! At last. Come, have a drink, Tia. 397 00:23:07,010 --> 00:23:09,054 Or should I say "Bean"? 398 00:23:10,722 --> 00:23:12,140 Alva Gunderson? 399 00:23:12,224 --> 00:23:14,476 Or should you say "Gordy"? 400 00:23:14,559 --> 00:23:15,644 Gordy? 401 00:23:15,727 --> 00:23:18,355 Or should you say "Alva"? 402 00:23:18,438 --> 00:23:19,898 Stop moustaching yourself! 403 00:23:19,981 --> 00:23:20,857 Gordy? 404 00:23:20,941 --> 00:23:24,027 Oh, my God. Did you use the stairs? 405 00:23:24,111 --> 00:23:26,738 Freight elevator. It's one of my favorite tricks. 406 00:23:26,822 --> 00:23:28,198 -Beer? -No! 407 00:23:29,157 --> 00:23:30,909 Yeah. [slurps] 408 00:23:41,044 --> 00:23:41,878 A king! 409 00:23:41,962 --> 00:23:44,589 You want we should put him in the bilge with the other kings? 410 00:23:44,673 --> 00:23:45,799 [Oona] Is okay, Roy. 411 00:23:45,882 --> 00:23:48,218 -We'll return him to throne room. -All right. 412 00:23:48,301 --> 00:23:50,887 Oona! You're my queen again. 413 00:23:50,971 --> 00:23:54,141 No, Zøggy, I am married to ocean now. 414 00:23:54,224 --> 00:23:56,852 But maybe I stick around until you are better? 415 00:23:56,935 --> 00:24:00,188 Yeah, you were always good at stickin' to things. 416 00:24:00,272 --> 00:24:02,607 Hey, where's my kitty cat? Have you seen him? 417 00:24:02,691 --> 00:24:04,776 I got a lot of cat questions. 418 00:24:06,111 --> 00:24:08,363 [Bean] If I didn't love Bitsy's Bitterbeer so much, 419 00:24:08,446 --> 00:24:10,490 I'd throw this can right at your face. 420 00:24:10,574 --> 00:24:13,785 Then again, I don't know who the hell's face I'd be throwing it at. 421 00:24:13,869 --> 00:24:16,913 At my face, Bean. I'm Alva. This is the real me. 422 00:24:16,997 --> 00:24:19,040 Gordy Stewson was simply my cover to meet you. 423 00:24:19,124 --> 00:24:20,876 I had to test you to see what you were like. 424 00:24:20,959 --> 00:24:24,546 So you wear a fake moustache when you're yourself? 425 00:24:24,629 --> 00:24:26,673 A confusing prank I pulled once. 426 00:24:26,756 --> 00:24:30,051 Sadly, I've had to commit to the moustache ever since. 427 00:24:30,135 --> 00:24:32,304 More beer? Six-pack for the princess. 428 00:24:34,097 --> 00:24:35,724 Hey, don't I know you? 429 00:24:36,516 --> 00:24:37,350 Nope. 430 00:24:37,434 --> 00:24:39,436 Bean, I wanted to meet you so much. 431 00:24:39,519 --> 00:24:42,939 I sent my brother Skybert to Dreamland, but I never heard back from him. 432 00:24:43,023 --> 00:24:47,194 -I hope he's okay. -Yeah, I'm sure he is. 433 00:24:47,277 --> 00:24:50,280 And the Archdruidess? How does she figure in all this? 434 00:24:50,363 --> 00:24:53,950 I had the Archdruidess lure you here. I even gave her an expense account, 435 00:24:54,034 --> 00:24:55,869 which she was supposed to keep receipts for. 436 00:24:55,952 --> 00:25:00,165 Then you approved of what she did? She buried my father alive. 437 00:25:00,248 --> 00:25:03,460 And she tried to shoot me! And she did shoot Turbish. 438 00:25:03,543 --> 00:25:06,213 Wait, she did what? I had no idea. 439 00:25:06,296 --> 00:25:09,174 Betty, send in the Archdruidess immediately. 440 00:25:09,257 --> 00:25:11,301 You must believe me. I'd never approve-- 441 00:25:11,384 --> 00:25:12,469 Approve what? 442 00:25:13,386 --> 00:25:18,391 Calm down, Princess. Royalty is meaningless in Steamland. 443 00:25:18,475 --> 00:25:21,895 Intellect is king. Isn't that right, sugarlobes? 444 00:25:21,978 --> 00:25:24,648 Did you really bury her father alive and shoot at her? 445 00:25:24,731 --> 00:25:27,734 There was a beheading, too. Don't forget the beheading. 446 00:25:27,817 --> 00:25:32,489 -You were simply told to lure her here. -And I delivered what you wanted. 447 00:25:32,572 --> 00:25:35,992 Now how's about givin' mama a little of what she wants, huh? 448 00:25:36,076 --> 00:25:39,496 I did not ask you to leave a trail of death and destruction. 449 00:25:39,579 --> 00:25:41,831 You're fired. Security! 450 00:25:44,918 --> 00:25:46,127 Drag her away. 451 00:25:47,087 --> 00:25:50,090 I gave you my heart and you stomped on it! 452 00:25:50,173 --> 00:25:54,094 Curse you! And you, too! A knuckle sandwich to all of you! 453 00:25:54,177 --> 00:25:55,428 [both grunt] 454 00:25:55,512 --> 00:25:59,683 I know you don't trust me, but whatever you do, do not trust him. 455 00:25:59,766 --> 00:26:02,602 If I can't trust you, how can I trust you to tell me who to trust? 456 00:26:02,686 --> 00:26:03,895 Shaddup. 457 00:26:03,979 --> 00:26:07,649 [struggling] No! No! 458 00:26:07,732 --> 00:26:09,526 Not the little door! 459 00:26:09,609 --> 00:26:10,735 [door closes] 460 00:26:10,819 --> 00:26:13,571 And there, in the middle of the jungle, 461 00:26:13,655 --> 00:26:16,241 he slapped me on the bum-bum. 462 00:26:16,324 --> 00:26:17,325 [all laugh] 463 00:26:17,409 --> 00:26:20,537 Chums, I've had the journey of a lifetime. 464 00:26:20,620 --> 00:26:22,914 I lost ten good men to the frozen north, 465 00:26:22,998 --> 00:26:26,209 but I also lost five jerks, so it balanced out. 466 00:26:26,293 --> 00:26:30,422 Shush! You're interrupting the most wondrous tale from our newest member. 467 00:26:30,505 --> 00:26:33,383 Yeah, park it, old-timer. You might wanna take some notes. 468 00:26:33,466 --> 00:26:36,928 -[all laugh] -Learn? From you? 469 00:26:37,012 --> 00:26:40,265 Why, I'll have you know, there's not a single corner of this world 470 00:26:40,348 --> 00:26:43,018 that I haven't explored, conquered or shot at. 471 00:26:43,101 --> 00:26:45,145 -Oh, think so? -Indubitably. 472 00:26:45,228 --> 00:26:47,689 Oh, I think can duble it. 473 00:26:47,772 --> 00:26:51,860 Why, the effrontery! Sir, I lay you a club challenge. 474 00:26:51,943 --> 00:26:55,488 Name a place, any place, that you have been that I have not. 475 00:26:56,197 --> 00:26:57,157 Elfwood. 476 00:26:57,240 --> 00:26:58,575 -[all gasping] -What? 477 00:26:58,658 --> 00:27:02,662 A real place, sir. Not some sojourn of your drunken dreams. 478 00:27:02,746 --> 00:27:05,248 But it is real. And I've really been there. 479 00:27:05,332 --> 00:27:06,583 Your proof? 480 00:27:06,666 --> 00:27:08,126 -Ta-da! -[all gasping] 481 00:27:09,002 --> 00:27:10,170 [monocle splashes] 482 00:27:11,921 --> 00:27:14,341 An elf for my shelf. 483 00:27:14,424 --> 00:27:17,344 Bean, I've never met anyone as bold or clever as you, 484 00:27:17,427 --> 00:27:19,596 so I feel comfortable saying this. 485 00:27:19,679 --> 00:27:23,850 There's a power in Dreamland beyond anything we have here. 486 00:27:23,933 --> 00:27:28,813 You call it magic, but really, it's simply natural phenomena we don't yet understand. 487 00:27:28,897 --> 00:27:31,358 But science, or "stience," as you call it, 488 00:27:31,441 --> 00:27:34,486 can harness that magic into a force for good. 489 00:27:34,569 --> 00:27:38,031 -What exactly are you offering here? -Definitely not your job back. 490 00:27:38,114 --> 00:27:40,742 You made only one steam whistle, and this is it. 491 00:27:41,618 --> 00:27:42,744 [whistle hoots poorly] 492 00:27:43,703 --> 00:27:47,832 An alliance is what I'm offering, between magic and science. 493 00:27:47,916 --> 00:27:51,544 Whoa! This is big. I really need some time to drink about this. 494 00:27:51,628 --> 00:27:52,921 -You mean-- -I know what I said. 495 00:28:05,809 --> 00:28:06,810 [sighs] 496 00:28:09,646 --> 00:28:11,856 At least Elfo is out there having fun. 497 00:28:30,750 --> 00:28:31,835 [sighs] 498 00:28:37,424 --> 00:28:39,426 [closing theme music playing]