WEBVTT 1 00:00:01,580 --> 00:00:03,290 ♪♪ 2 00:00:03,290 --> 00:00:06,420 Packed your favorite -- strawberries. 3 00:00:06,420 --> 00:00:09,080 Mom, strawberries aren't my favorite fruit anymore. 4 00:00:09,080 --> 00:00:10,580 Since when? 5 00:00:10,580 --> 00:00:13,540 Since I had the pleasure of tasting a tangelo. 6 00:00:13,540 --> 00:00:16,040 Now my top five fruits are, in order, 7 00:00:16,040 --> 00:00:18,580 tangelos, guava, tomatoes -- 8 00:00:18,580 --> 00:00:20,210 they're a fruit, Google it -- 9 00:00:20,210 --> 00:00:22,040 kiwi, and pluots. 10 00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:24,750 Got to love Westport. 11 00:00:24,750 --> 00:00:26,460 The closest I got to fresh fruit as a kid 12 00:00:26,460 --> 00:00:28,380 was wild cherry cough drops. 13 00:00:28,380 --> 00:00:30,790 ♪♪ 14 00:00:30,790 --> 00:00:33,710 [ School bell rings ] 15 00:00:33,710 --> 00:00:34,960 Katie: Oh, no! 16 00:00:34,960 --> 00:00:36,670 Principal Ablin's gonna ask me 17 00:00:36,670 --> 00:00:39,380 to chaperone another one of Anna-Kat's class field trips! 18 00:00:39,380 --> 00:00:43,080 [ Slow-motion ] Katie, I need to speak to you 19 00:00:43,080 --> 00:00:48,120 about the field trip tomorrow. 20 00:00:48,120 --> 00:00:49,750 I got to come up with an excuse. 21 00:00:49,750 --> 00:00:51,380 What have I used in the past? 22 00:00:51,380 --> 00:00:53,580 I've done root canal. I've done malaria twice. 23 00:00:53,580 --> 00:00:55,380 I had my hip replaced at a very young age. 24 00:00:55,380 --> 00:00:56,540 [ Gasps ] Wait. 25 00:00:56,540 --> 00:00:58,380 I actually have a legitimate excuse 26 00:00:58,380 --> 00:00:59,830 for not going on the field trip! 27 00:00:59,830 --> 00:01:01,620 Katie, I was wondering if you w-- 28 00:01:01,620 --> 00:01:03,290 I can't chaperone the field trip! 29 00:01:03,290 --> 00:01:04,750 I have a job! 30 00:01:04,750 --> 00:01:06,420 Ha! In your face! 31 00:01:06,420 --> 00:01:07,920 Why is it in my face? 32 00:01:07,920 --> 00:01:10,580 I don't know. You figure it out. You're the educator. 33 00:01:10,580 --> 00:01:11,580 ♪♪ 34 00:01:15,540 --> 00:01:21,420 ♪♪ 35 00:01:21,420 --> 00:01:22,420 [ Sighs ] 36 00:01:22,420 --> 00:01:23,420 Long day at work? 37 00:01:23,420 --> 00:01:25,620 Long month at work. 38 00:01:25,620 --> 00:01:27,540 I have been working overtime 39 00:01:27,540 --> 00:01:30,210 planning the Founder's Day Fair. 40 00:01:30,210 --> 00:01:32,420 What's that? It is the fair in three weeks 41 00:01:32,420 --> 00:01:35,040 that celebrates the founding fathers of Westport. 42 00:01:35,040 --> 00:01:38,040 All I know is, I ordered a gluten-free funnel cake today, 43 00:01:38,040 --> 00:01:39,620 and part of me died. 44 00:01:39,620 --> 00:01:41,750 I could really use a big-time pony play session 45 00:01:41,750 --> 00:01:42,960 with you right now. 46 00:01:42,960 --> 00:01:44,460 Okay. Choose your filly. 47 00:01:44,460 --> 00:01:47,420 Where's Sir Sparkles? 48 00:01:47,420 --> 00:01:49,170 He died last month saving Sassy Sadie 49 00:01:49,170 --> 00:01:51,120 from drowning in the toilet. 50 00:01:51,120 --> 00:01:52,880 I begged him to learn how to swim. 51 00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:55,710 I don't recognize most of these ponies. 52 00:01:55,710 --> 00:01:58,210 I've gotten a lot of new ones lately. 53 00:01:58,210 --> 00:02:01,120 Here's my favorite -- Major Cuddles! 54 00:02:01,120 --> 00:02:02,670 Major isn't just his rank, 55 00:02:02,670 --> 00:02:05,040 but also how I describe his hugs, 56 00:02:05,040 --> 00:02:06,670 because even though he's military, 57 00:02:06,670 --> 00:02:08,710 he's not emotionally distant. 58 00:02:08,710 --> 00:02:10,750 Anna-Kat, I'm sorry 59 00:02:10,750 --> 00:02:12,750 that I've been working nights and weekends 60 00:02:12,750 --> 00:02:14,790 and haven't been able to play with you as much. 61 00:02:14,790 --> 00:02:17,000 It's okay, Mom. I know you're busy. 62 00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:18,710 I actually don't expect you to be around, 63 00:02:18,710 --> 00:02:20,460 so I just assume you won't be. 64 00:02:20,460 --> 00:02:23,000 And the new number-one thing a mother never wants to hear 65 00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:25,960 is...what Anna-Kat just said. 66 00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:27,750 Till Oliver says, "We're putting you in a home. 67 00:02:27,750 --> 00:02:28,960 No cable." 68 00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:31,210 ♪♪ 69 00:02:31,210 --> 00:02:33,580 Did you know Sir Sparkles died? 70 00:02:33,580 --> 00:02:34,920 Oh, yeah. That was a rough one. 71 00:02:34,920 --> 00:02:36,330 He didn't have a will. 72 00:02:36,330 --> 00:02:38,000 His colts are still fighting over his estate. 73 00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:40,580 I used to know everything going on with her. 74 00:02:40,580 --> 00:02:42,170 I feel so disconnected. 75 00:02:42,170 --> 00:02:43,380 Don't be so hard on yourself. 76 00:02:43,380 --> 00:02:45,040 I bet you know all the pony names. 77 00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:46,080 Of course I do. I'm a good parent. 78 00:02:47,580 --> 00:02:49,290 ...married to another good parent. 79 00:02:49,290 --> 00:02:50,670 Mm-hmm. 80 00:02:50,670 --> 00:02:52,250 So, here we are -- 81 00:02:52,250 --> 00:02:53,170 two good parents. 82 00:02:54,830 --> 00:02:57,500 I'm just having a hard time with the work/life balance thing. 83 00:02:57,500 --> 00:02:58,960 Look, we're lucky I can adjust my schedule 84 00:02:58,960 --> 00:03:00,790 and work out of the house more and be with the kids. 85 00:03:00,790 --> 00:03:02,580 When one of us is busy, the other can pick up the slack. 86 00:03:02,580 --> 00:03:03,830 We're a team. 87 00:03:03,830 --> 00:03:06,040 I know, but I still feel bad. 88 00:03:06,040 --> 00:03:07,540 Anna-Kat is getting older, 89 00:03:07,540 --> 00:03:09,960 and I don't want our relationship to become 90 00:03:09,960 --> 00:03:11,380 like my relationship with Taylor. 91 00:03:11,380 --> 00:03:13,080 What's wrong with that? 92 00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:14,210 Taylor, how you doing, honey? 93 00:03:14,210 --> 00:03:15,750 Taylor: Get off my back, man! 94 00:03:17,790 --> 00:03:19,580 Well, if you want to spend more time with Anna-Kat, 95 00:03:19,580 --> 00:03:21,580 maybe you should chaperone the field trip instead of me. 96 00:03:21,580 --> 00:03:22,710 You're chaperoning? 97 00:03:22,710 --> 00:03:24,040 Yeah, Ablin called and asked me to go. 98 00:03:24,040 --> 00:03:27,620 [ Chuckling ] Well, look at you -- 99 00:03:27,620 --> 00:03:30,670 knowing pony names, chaperoning field trips. 100 00:03:30,670 --> 00:03:32,750 Part of the problem is, you're too nice of a dad. 101 00:03:32,750 --> 00:03:34,080 You need to be worse. 102 00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:35,330 When it comes to parenting, 103 00:03:35,330 --> 00:03:37,170 I don't go up to you -- you come down to me. 104 00:03:37,170 --> 00:03:38,540 Why do I always have to come down to you? 105 00:03:38,540 --> 00:03:40,120 I don't do self-improvement. 106 00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:42,040 You knew that when you married me, bro. 107 00:03:42,040 --> 00:03:47,080 ♪♪ 108 00:03:47,080 --> 00:03:49,290 [ Sighs ] I don't feel well. 109 00:03:49,290 --> 00:03:51,210 Yeah, right! Go get dressed. 110 00:03:51,210 --> 00:03:52,330 I'm being serious! 111 00:03:52,330 --> 00:03:53,830 I've been throwing up all night. 112 00:03:53,830 --> 00:03:55,460 Why don't you ever believe me? 113 00:03:55,460 --> 00:03:57,170 'Cause you always fake being sick. Mm-hmm. 114 00:03:57,170 --> 00:03:58,540 You're thinking of Mom and malaria. 115 00:03:58,540 --> 00:04:00,000 I do do that. 116 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:02,880 I swear -- I'm really sick. 117 00:04:02,880 --> 00:04:04,540 Trip is going to Thunder Park for senior ditch day, 118 00:04:04,540 --> 00:04:05,540 and I want to go. 119 00:04:05,540 --> 00:04:06,670 So fake being sick. 120 00:04:06,670 --> 00:04:08,670 I fake being sick way too many times. 121 00:04:08,670 --> 00:04:10,540 Unless I barf up some arthritis... 122 00:04:10,540 --> 00:04:12,250 That's not a thing. ...then Mom and Dad won't buy it. 123 00:04:12,250 --> 00:04:13,380 I need your help. 124 00:04:13,380 --> 00:04:14,580 [ Sighs ] 125 00:04:16,040 --> 00:04:18,210 They might not buy you being sick, 126 00:04:18,210 --> 00:04:19,750 but they will if we both are sick. 127 00:04:19,750 --> 00:04:21,460 Wait -- you're sick? 128 00:04:21,460 --> 00:04:22,750 That's great! Then you can get me sick! 129 00:04:22,750 --> 00:04:23,670 Quick -- sneeze in my mouth. 130 00:04:23,670 --> 00:04:24,830 No! 131 00:04:24,830 --> 00:04:26,540 I'll also fake being sick. 132 00:04:26,540 --> 00:04:28,040 Oh. 133 00:04:28,040 --> 00:04:29,920 They'll never think we're both lying. 134 00:04:29,920 --> 00:04:31,380 But if I do this for you, 135 00:04:31,380 --> 00:04:33,460 you guys need to take me and Cooper to Thunder Park. 136 00:04:33,460 --> 00:04:34,790 Fine. 137 00:04:34,790 --> 00:04:35,620 What's the plan? 138 00:04:35,620 --> 00:04:38,080 ♪♪ 139 00:04:38,080 --> 00:04:39,960 I've been throwing up all night. 140 00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:41,420 Oh, no. Taylor, too. 141 00:04:41,420 --> 00:04:42,580 Geez, if they're both sick, 142 00:04:42,580 --> 00:04:44,500 then maybe Taylor is not lying after all. 143 00:04:44,500 --> 00:04:45,500 Maybe they have food poisoning. 144 00:04:46,960 --> 00:04:48,750 Just follow my lead. 145 00:04:48,750 --> 00:04:49,620 Hey, Mom? 146 00:04:49,620 --> 00:04:51,250 Can I have this yogurt smoothie 147 00:04:51,250 --> 00:04:52,670 I found in the fridge? 148 00:04:52,670 --> 00:04:53,580 Sure. 149 00:04:53,580 --> 00:04:55,580 Great. It looks delicious. 150 00:04:55,580 --> 00:04:57,210 Hey, Taylor, you want to share 151 00:04:57,210 --> 00:04:58,920 this yogurt smoothie I found in the fridge? 152 00:04:58,920 --> 00:05:00,290 It looks delicious. 153 00:05:00,290 --> 00:05:02,120 Sure. It looks delicious. 154 00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:05,170 Oh, no! 155 00:05:05,170 --> 00:05:06,620 It's expired. 156 00:05:06,620 --> 00:05:07,880 Oh, who cares? 157 00:05:07,880 --> 00:05:09,790 Mom always said it's okay to eat expired food 158 00:05:09,790 --> 00:05:11,120 if it's in the two-week buffer zone. 159 00:05:12,290 --> 00:05:14,920 Oh, well. Bottoms up. 160 00:05:14,920 --> 00:05:17,500 You guys are total idiots for drinking that expired smoothie. 161 00:05:17,500 --> 00:05:18,920 But it was in the buffer zone! 162 00:05:18,920 --> 00:05:20,290 Did you smell it? No. 163 00:05:20,290 --> 00:05:22,080 Everyone knows you got to smell it 164 00:05:22,080 --> 00:05:23,670 if it's in the buffer zone. 165 00:05:23,670 --> 00:05:25,500 That is buffer zone 101. 166 00:05:25,500 --> 00:05:27,420 Back to bed. No school for you two today. 167 00:05:27,420 --> 00:05:29,120 I'm sorry I can't stay and take care of them. 168 00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:30,380 I have to go on Anna-Kat's field trip. 169 00:05:30,380 --> 00:05:31,920 Oh, don't worry, Dad. 170 00:05:31,920 --> 00:05:34,000 Oliver and I can take care of each other. That's sweet. 171 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:36,210 Stop being the nice parent. You're making me look bad. 172 00:05:36,210 --> 00:05:37,500 You could try being the nice parent. 173 00:05:37,500 --> 00:05:38,920 We can't change it up now, Greg. 174 00:05:38,920 --> 00:05:40,210 We are in this way too deep. 175 00:05:40,210 --> 00:05:40,960 Hmm. 176 00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:42,580 ♪♪ 177 00:05:42,580 --> 00:05:46,000 I need some advice on what to do with Anna-Kat. 178 00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:47,580 I don't have time to do the fun stuff 179 00:05:47,580 --> 00:05:49,830 that we usually do together because of work. 180 00:05:49,830 --> 00:05:51,790 Oh. I can totally relate to that. 181 00:05:51,790 --> 00:05:53,540 Really? That's not possible. 182 00:05:53,540 --> 00:05:55,040 Recently, I started spending 183 00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:56,460 more time at home with the kids, 184 00:05:56,460 --> 00:05:58,380 but then I felt like I was missing out 185 00:05:58,380 --> 00:06:00,170 on all this fun stuff at the country club. 186 00:06:00,170 --> 00:06:02,000 I felt bad for neglecting the club, 187 00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:03,750 so I started spending less time at home. 188 00:06:04,880 --> 00:06:06,460 Hmm. 189 00:06:06,460 --> 00:06:08,380 Katie, if you want to spend time with your kids, 190 00:06:08,380 --> 00:06:10,290 then sometimes that means doing things with them 191 00:06:10,290 --> 00:06:12,120 that you don't want to do -- like chaperoning. 192 00:06:12,120 --> 00:06:13,710 But I already did that last year. 193 00:06:13,710 --> 00:06:17,170 Yeah, well, it's kind of like the mammogram of parenting. 194 00:06:17,170 --> 00:06:19,880 Ugh. Just another way they put the squeeze on us! 195 00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:21,710 I don't want to chaperone again. 196 00:06:21,710 --> 00:06:23,380 It was just a lot of me saying, 197 00:06:23,380 --> 00:06:24,830 "Don't wander off! Stay together! 198 00:06:24,830 --> 00:06:25,920 Don't climb on that!" 199 00:06:25,920 --> 00:06:27,290 "Don't tell your mom I hit you." 200 00:06:27,290 --> 00:06:29,500 But I did have fun with Anna-Kat. 201 00:06:29,500 --> 00:06:32,080 We sang songs on the bus, and we made up this game 202 00:06:32,080 --> 00:06:33,330 where we pretended not to know anything 203 00:06:33,330 --> 00:06:35,120 because it was our first day on Earth. 204 00:06:35,120 --> 00:06:37,210 Example, please. Mm. 205 00:06:37,210 --> 00:06:39,710 "What is this mysterious brown substance?" 206 00:06:39,710 --> 00:06:41,380 Yeah, I don't care anymore. [ Chuckles ] 207 00:06:41,380 --> 00:06:43,040 Katie, there's no reason why you can't go 208 00:06:43,040 --> 00:06:45,000 on that field trip today and reconnect with Anna-Kat. 209 00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:46,750 You're right. 210 00:06:46,750 --> 00:06:47,880 I'm gonna do it. 211 00:06:47,880 --> 00:06:49,420 Great. When do they leave? 212 00:06:49,420 --> 00:06:51,000 [ Gasps ] 10 minutes. 213 00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:52,830 Damn! I got to go. 214 00:06:52,830 --> 00:06:54,540 Oh. 215 00:06:54,540 --> 00:06:56,080 You didn't really hit a kid on a field trip, did you? 216 00:06:56,080 --> 00:06:57,080 Oh. 217 00:06:57,080 --> 00:06:58,960 Your son didn't tell you? 218 00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:01,500 Damn, you're a good mom! You didn't raise a narc! 219 00:07:01,500 --> 00:07:03,670 ♪♪ 220 00:07:03,670 --> 00:07:05,670 [ Indistinct conversations ] 221 00:07:07,540 --> 00:07:08,670 Principal Ablin: All right, kids. 222 00:07:08,670 --> 00:07:11,000 Everyone take your seats. We're leaving. 223 00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:16,290 ♪♪ 224 00:07:16,290 --> 00:07:18,540 [ Tires screech ] 225 00:07:18,540 --> 00:07:26,710 ♪♪ 226 00:07:26,710 --> 00:07:29,330 Good morning, room 5! 227 00:07:29,330 --> 00:07:31,330 My name is Katie Otto, Anna-Kat's mom, 228 00:07:31,330 --> 00:07:33,380 and I am here to chaperone your field trip 229 00:07:33,380 --> 00:07:35,080 to Caldwell Farms. 230 00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:36,210 Katie, what are you doing here? 231 00:07:36,210 --> 00:07:37,330 I think my announcement one second ago 232 00:07:37,330 --> 00:07:38,710 was pretty clear about that. 233 00:07:38,710 --> 00:07:40,580 Yeah, but I took the day off from work to -- 234 00:07:40,580 --> 00:07:42,830 [ Gasps, grunts ] 235 00:07:42,830 --> 00:07:44,500 ♪♪ 236 00:07:48,420 --> 00:07:49,750 ♪♪ 237 00:07:49,750 --> 00:07:51,500 What are you doing here? I thought you had a job. 238 00:07:51,500 --> 00:07:52,920 I do have a job. 239 00:07:52,920 --> 00:07:54,460 And I took a day off from that job 240 00:07:54,460 --> 00:07:56,000 to do an even more important job -- 241 00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:57,960 to connect with my daughter. 242 00:07:57,960 --> 00:07:59,710 In your face. 243 00:07:59,710 --> 00:08:02,120 I will not have that in my face again. 244 00:08:03,670 --> 00:08:06,290 All right, let's get this field trip started 245 00:08:06,290 --> 00:08:08,540 with a little bus song. 246 00:08:08,540 --> 00:08:10,290 [ Chanting ] ♪ Hey, Mickey, you're so fine ♪ 247 00:08:10,290 --> 00:08:11,500 ♪ You're so fine, you blow my mind ♪ 248 00:08:11,500 --> 00:08:12,790 ♪ Hey, Mickey ♪ 249 00:08:12,790 --> 00:08:13,790 ♪ Hey, Mickey ♪ 250 00:08:13,790 --> 00:08:14,880 Come on, Anna-Kat! 251 00:08:14,880 --> 00:08:16,420 What are you doing? 252 00:08:16,420 --> 00:08:18,790 What is a bus ride without a sing-along? 253 00:08:18,790 --> 00:08:20,170 Come on, everybody! 254 00:08:20,170 --> 00:08:21,170 ♪ Hey, Mickey, you're so -- ♪ 255 00:08:21,170 --> 00:08:22,580 ♪ Oh, Mickey, you're so fine ♪ 256 00:08:22,580 --> 00:08:23,790 ♪ You're the finest in my mind ♪ 257 00:08:23,790 --> 00:08:25,330 ♪ Hey, Mickey ♪ 258 00:08:25,330 --> 00:08:27,250 Hey, Mickey! 259 00:08:27,250 --> 00:08:29,750 Dude! What are you doing? 260 00:08:29,750 --> 00:08:32,580 Mom always said to dance like no one's watching and... 261 00:08:32,580 --> 00:08:33,880 to sleep like nobody's watching. 262 00:08:35,210 --> 00:08:36,330 I had trouble sleeping. 263 00:08:36,330 --> 00:08:37,920 I thought people were watching me. 264 00:08:37,920 --> 00:08:38,920 Sorry. 265 00:08:38,920 --> 00:08:41,290 Ablin ruined everything. 266 00:08:41,290 --> 00:08:42,380 Yeah. 267 00:08:42,380 --> 00:08:43,960 Mother always said that, too. 268 00:08:43,960 --> 00:08:47,580 ♪♪ 269 00:08:47,580 --> 00:08:49,420 The smoothie plan worked perfectly. 270 00:08:49,420 --> 00:08:51,500 Sometimes I think about using my powers for good, 271 00:08:51,500 --> 00:08:53,460 and then I do stuff like this and I think... 272 00:08:53,460 --> 00:08:54,790 [ Scoffs ] Nah. 273 00:08:54,790 --> 00:08:57,080 So, you drank expired yogurt and it didn't make you sick? 274 00:08:57,080 --> 00:08:58,380 How'd you pull that off? 275 00:08:58,380 --> 00:08:59,790 It wasn't really expired. 276 00:08:59,790 --> 00:09:01,330 So how'd you get sick? 277 00:09:01,330 --> 00:09:02,380 We faked it. 278 00:09:05,830 --> 00:09:08,830 You don't need to understand the plan for it to work. 279 00:09:08,830 --> 00:09:09,880 Oh, thank God. 280 00:09:09,880 --> 00:09:11,580 Cooper, how'd you get out of school today? 281 00:09:11,580 --> 00:09:14,250 Oh, I don't really have to worry about stuff like that. 282 00:09:14,250 --> 00:09:17,920 ♪♪ 283 00:09:17,920 --> 00:09:19,330 [ Chuckles, sighs ] 284 00:09:19,330 --> 00:09:20,380 You get a boat! 285 00:09:20,380 --> 00:09:21,670 And you get a boat! 286 00:09:21,670 --> 00:09:23,380 And you get a boat! 287 00:09:23,380 --> 00:09:24,750 [ Car door closes ] 288 00:09:26,290 --> 00:09:28,420 [ Car alarm honks ] 289 00:09:28,420 --> 00:09:30,040 Oh, no. Dad's home. 290 00:09:30,040 --> 00:09:31,790 He's supposed to be on Anna-Kat's field trip! 291 00:09:31,790 --> 00:09:33,750 Guys, go hide. Why? Then I won't get to see your dad. 292 00:09:33,750 --> 00:09:34,620 That's the point. 293 00:09:36,620 --> 00:09:39,460 You don't need to understand the plan for it to work. 294 00:09:39,460 --> 00:09:40,750 Let's vamanos, compadre. 295 00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:44,170 Come on. We got to make ourselves look sick again. 296 00:09:44,170 --> 00:09:53,750 ♪♪ 297 00:09:53,750 --> 00:09:55,210 Hey, guys. 298 00:09:55,210 --> 00:09:56,620 I'm not going on Anna-Kat's field trip anymore, 299 00:09:56,620 --> 00:09:58,120 so I came home to see how you're doing. 300 00:09:58,120 --> 00:09:59,960 I still feel sick. 301 00:09:59,960 --> 00:10:02,460 I feel like Taylor reads -- terrible. 302 00:10:02,460 --> 00:10:04,500 Oh, no. Sounds like you're getting worse. 303 00:10:04,500 --> 00:10:06,210 I better stay here and take care of you guys. 304 00:10:06,210 --> 00:10:08,750 Y-You shouldn't stay home just because we're sick. 305 00:10:08,750 --> 00:10:11,040 Why not grab some quality Greg time? 306 00:10:11,040 --> 00:10:12,830 Yeah, go catch a movie. 307 00:10:12,830 --> 00:10:15,170 There's two Ruth Bader Ginsburg films out. 308 00:10:15,170 --> 00:10:17,330 She's your celebrity hall pass, for God's sake. 309 00:10:17,330 --> 00:10:19,210 I'm happy to take care of you two. 310 00:10:19,210 --> 00:10:21,290 I'm gonna make you some of my mother's famous chicken soup. 311 00:10:21,290 --> 00:10:22,920 Do you know what the secret ingredient is? 312 00:10:22,920 --> 00:10:24,120 Is it love? Love? 313 00:10:25,210 --> 00:10:27,290 No. It's -- 314 00:10:27,290 --> 00:10:29,000 I don't want to tell you anymore. 315 00:10:31,540 --> 00:10:32,580 Ugh. 316 00:10:32,580 --> 00:10:33,830 Now instead of ditch day, 317 00:10:33,830 --> 00:10:36,120 we have to stay home and pretend to be sick. 318 00:10:36,120 --> 00:10:38,170 Yeah, I know. I was here, too. 319 00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:42,210 [ Goat bleats ] 320 00:10:42,210 --> 00:10:44,380 Katie: Don't wander off. Stay together. 321 00:10:44,380 --> 00:10:46,000 Don't climb on that! 322 00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:47,290 [ Goat bleats ] 323 00:10:47,290 --> 00:10:50,040 Caldwell Farms is a fully functional 324 00:10:50,040 --> 00:10:52,620 fruit and animal farm. 325 00:10:52,620 --> 00:10:54,330 But not an "Animal Farm" 326 00:10:54,330 --> 00:10:57,710 like George Orwell's allegorical novella 327 00:10:57,710 --> 00:11:01,710 that criticized the rhetoric of the Russian Revolution. 328 00:11:01,710 --> 00:11:04,040 [ Laughs ] 329 00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:06,080 Always funny. Always. 330 00:11:06,080 --> 00:11:08,580 I'm also proud to point out 331 00:11:08,580 --> 00:11:11,830 Caldwell Farms' newest edition -- 332 00:11:11,830 --> 00:11:14,830 this gorgeous gazebo 333 00:11:14,830 --> 00:11:18,000 built by none other than your Principal Ablin. 334 00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:18,750 [ Chuckles ] 335 00:11:18,750 --> 00:11:20,120 Wow! 336 00:11:20,120 --> 00:11:21,790 Why would you build them a gazebo? 337 00:11:21,790 --> 00:11:23,170 Because I love it here, 338 00:11:23,170 --> 00:11:24,880 and I hope to be buried under it someday. 339 00:11:24,880 --> 00:11:26,670 So in your face. 340 00:11:26,670 --> 00:11:28,670 Well, my face is a shield, 341 00:11:28,670 --> 00:11:30,670 so it bounces off and hits your face twice as hard! 342 00:11:30,670 --> 00:11:31,790 Double face! 343 00:11:31,790 --> 00:11:33,330 Double face? 344 00:11:33,330 --> 00:11:35,290 That's the worst of all faces. 345 00:11:35,290 --> 00:11:38,500 Uh, now, before we move on to the petting zoo, 346 00:11:38,500 --> 00:11:40,330 does anyone have any questions? 347 00:11:40,330 --> 00:11:41,920 [ Gasps ] Yes. 348 00:11:43,420 --> 00:11:45,790 What are those things behind you? 349 00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:49,170 Uh... 350 00:11:49,170 --> 00:11:50,460 You mean the apples? 351 00:11:50,460 --> 00:11:52,540 Ooh! Apples! 352 00:11:52,540 --> 00:11:54,790 Very interesting. 353 00:11:54,790 --> 00:11:56,040 What do they do? 354 00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:59,080 They just... 355 00:11:59,080 --> 00:12:00,460 They're apples! 356 00:12:00,460 --> 00:12:02,500 Mom, no. Don't play First Day on Earth. 357 00:12:02,500 --> 00:12:04,080 Let's just go to the petting zoo. 358 00:12:04,080 --> 00:12:05,330 One second. 359 00:12:05,330 --> 00:12:08,000 Gerald, so, these apples, 360 00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:10,290 where are their parents? 361 00:12:10,290 --> 00:12:13,080 Well, I suppose... 362 00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:15,420 in a way, that's me. 363 00:12:15,420 --> 00:12:17,420 Mom, please stop! 364 00:12:18,620 --> 00:12:21,080 Does your mom really not know what apples are? 365 00:12:21,080 --> 00:12:22,620 She's just playing this dumb game 366 00:12:22,620 --> 00:12:24,330 that she thinks is funny 367 00:12:24,330 --> 00:12:27,620 but is definitely not funny. 368 00:12:30,960 --> 00:12:33,290 Anna-Kat, what is wrong?! 369 00:12:33,290 --> 00:12:34,460 Katie? 370 00:12:34,460 --> 00:12:36,170 See, you eat it. 371 00:12:37,960 --> 00:12:40,540 I know what a damn apple is, Ablin. 372 00:12:40,540 --> 00:12:42,000 You are gonna be buried under that gazebo 373 00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:43,170 sooner than you think. 374 00:12:43,170 --> 00:12:45,420 ♪♪ 375 00:12:45,420 --> 00:12:46,420 Excuse me. 376 00:12:46,420 --> 00:12:48,000 ♪♪ 377 00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:50,500 I just got off the phone with an old college friend 378 00:12:50,500 --> 00:12:52,830 who works in infectious diseases at the Mayo Clinic. 379 00:12:52,830 --> 00:12:54,620 He said that food poisoning from dairy products 380 00:12:54,620 --> 00:12:55,880 is very serious. 381 00:12:55,880 --> 00:12:57,120 I think it's out of our systems. 382 00:12:57,120 --> 00:12:58,250 It's not. 383 00:12:58,250 --> 00:12:59,500 But it will be. 384 00:12:59,500 --> 00:13:01,420 My friend gave very specific instructions 385 00:13:01,420 --> 00:13:03,620 on how to flush the toxins from your bodies. 386 00:13:03,620 --> 00:13:04,920 We're gonna sweat it out. 387 00:13:04,920 --> 00:13:09,830 ♪♪ 388 00:13:09,830 --> 00:13:11,580 How long do we have to stay in here like this? 389 00:13:11,580 --> 00:13:12,380 Just an hour. 390 00:13:12,380 --> 00:13:14,290 An hour?! No way! 391 00:13:14,290 --> 00:13:16,120 I look like I've been Chaka Khanned! 392 00:13:16,120 --> 00:13:18,040 You know who Chaka Khan is? 393 00:13:18,040 --> 00:13:20,000 Oh. That's a person? 394 00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:21,750 I thought it meant being electrocuted. 395 00:13:21,750 --> 00:13:23,460 Stay here. I'll be back to check on you in an hour. 396 00:13:24,670 --> 00:13:25,920 [ Sighs ] 397 00:13:25,920 --> 00:13:27,420 This sucks! 398 00:13:27,420 --> 00:13:29,210 I hate being sick! 399 00:13:29,210 --> 00:13:30,790 You're not really sick. 400 00:13:30,790 --> 00:13:31,790 Oh, yeah. 401 00:13:31,790 --> 00:13:34,040 ♪♪ 402 00:13:34,040 --> 00:13:35,580 [ Line ringing ] 403 00:13:35,580 --> 00:13:37,500 Hey. How's the trip going? Terrible. 404 00:13:37,500 --> 00:13:40,580 I need the nice parent's perspective on the situation. 405 00:13:40,580 --> 00:13:43,000 I have been trying to have fun with Anna-Kat all day, 406 00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:44,330 but she keeps shutting me down. 407 00:13:44,330 --> 00:13:46,210 I've been doing our greatest hits -- 408 00:13:46,210 --> 00:13:48,710 sang songs, First Day on Earth. 409 00:13:48,710 --> 00:13:51,000 Maybe you're trying too hard. Just be yourself. 410 00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:53,330 If I were myself, I wouldn't be on this field trip. 411 00:13:53,330 --> 00:13:55,170 It's Anna-Kat. You know what she likes -- 412 00:13:55,170 --> 00:13:57,120 true crime fiction, the wrath of Mother Nature, 413 00:13:57,120 --> 00:13:59,170 YouTube videos of sleeping bears falling out of trees. 414 00:14:00,580 --> 00:14:02,670 And ponies. 415 00:14:02,670 --> 00:14:05,120 Maybe I'm not trying too hard, 416 00:14:05,120 --> 00:14:07,790 but, actually, I'm not trying hard enough. 417 00:14:07,790 --> 00:14:09,290 So the opposite of what I just said? 418 00:14:09,290 --> 00:14:11,170 I use you as a sounding board, Greg. 419 00:14:11,170 --> 00:14:12,330 I don't come to you for answers. 420 00:14:14,080 --> 00:14:15,750 I'll give you a Jolly Rancher 421 00:14:15,750 --> 00:14:17,330 if you help me bond with my kid. 422 00:14:19,040 --> 00:14:20,790 You're mine now. 423 00:14:20,790 --> 00:14:22,620 [ Sighs ] 424 00:14:25,080 --> 00:14:26,750 Now, step two. 425 00:14:26,750 --> 00:14:28,420 You need to put this all over your faces and bodies. 426 00:14:28,420 --> 00:14:30,330 What is that? It's a homemade salve 427 00:14:30,330 --> 00:14:31,790 of mustard, turmeric, and garlic. 428 00:14:31,790 --> 00:14:33,540 Now that the toxins are out, 429 00:14:33,540 --> 00:14:35,620 you need to put this in your pores immediately. 430 00:14:35,620 --> 00:14:37,580 That's not necessary, Dad. We're feeling much better. 431 00:14:37,580 --> 00:14:40,460 Do you guys know what alkaline-hepatitis-12 is? No. 432 00:14:40,460 --> 00:14:42,210 Well, you can get it if you don't do this. 433 00:14:42,210 --> 00:14:46,710 ♪♪ 434 00:14:46,710 --> 00:14:47,790 [ Sighs ] 435 00:14:47,790 --> 00:14:50,750 ♪♪ 436 00:14:50,750 --> 00:14:52,710 When you're done putting it on, get back in the bathroom. 437 00:14:52,710 --> 00:14:54,380 [ Groans ] 438 00:14:54,380 --> 00:14:55,880 Okay, now you have to let the heat 439 00:14:55,880 --> 00:14:57,420 melt it into your pores. 440 00:14:57,420 --> 00:14:58,620 I'll be back in an hour. 441 00:14:58,620 --> 00:15:00,670 ♪♪ 442 00:15:00,670 --> 00:15:02,120 [ Door closes ] 443 00:15:02,120 --> 00:15:04,040 ♪♪ 444 00:15:04,040 --> 00:15:05,460 We're missing a lot of fun. 445 00:15:05,460 --> 00:15:06,830 Pictures can be deceiving. 446 00:15:06,830 --> 00:15:08,460 There's a video. 447 00:15:08,460 --> 00:15:10,250 Kid: This is the best time of my life! 448 00:15:10,250 --> 00:15:11,830 It's just one person. 449 00:15:11,830 --> 00:15:14,170 Kid #2: We're all having the best time of our lives! 450 00:15:14,170 --> 00:15:15,330 [ Indistinct shouting ] 451 00:15:15,330 --> 00:15:16,500 [ Cellphone beeps ] 452 00:15:16,500 --> 00:15:18,500 [ Laughter ] 453 00:15:18,500 --> 00:15:20,920 Hey, Anna-Kat, look who I just found! 454 00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:23,170 It is Major Cuddles! 455 00:15:23,170 --> 00:15:25,670 And he has come to life! 456 00:15:25,670 --> 00:15:27,250 Mom, no. 457 00:15:27,250 --> 00:15:29,290 Playing with toy ponies is one thing, 458 00:15:29,290 --> 00:15:32,330 but playing with real-life ponies 459 00:15:32,330 --> 00:15:33,790 is even better. 460 00:15:33,790 --> 00:15:35,460 You still play with toy ponies? 461 00:15:36,710 --> 00:15:37,710 No. 462 00:15:37,710 --> 00:15:39,540 Ponies are for babies. 463 00:15:39,540 --> 00:15:41,750 Ohh! Mrs. Otto. 464 00:15:41,750 --> 00:15:44,170 Please put Beverly back! 465 00:15:44,170 --> 00:15:45,750 She spooks easily 466 00:15:45,750 --> 00:15:48,210 a-and needs the structure of her corral. 467 00:15:48,210 --> 00:15:49,540 I don't know who Beverly is. 468 00:15:49,540 --> 00:15:51,750 This is Major Cuddles. 469 00:15:51,750 --> 00:15:54,620 Do you and your friends want to pet Major Cuddles? 470 00:15:57,540 --> 00:15:59,790 Can you stop? Please. 471 00:15:59,790 --> 00:16:00,960 Come on, Anna-Kat. 472 00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:02,830 I took the day off to hang out with you. 473 00:16:02,830 --> 00:16:04,170 Can we talk about this later? 474 00:16:04,170 --> 00:16:05,580 Why can't we talk about it now? 475 00:16:05,580 --> 00:16:07,380 Because you're ruining the field trip. 476 00:16:07,380 --> 00:16:09,380 I am not ruining the field trip. 477 00:16:09,380 --> 00:16:10,880 Am I, Major Cuddles? 478 00:16:10,880 --> 00:16:12,250 [ Horse whinnies ] 479 00:16:13,710 --> 00:16:15,080 [ Gasps, screams ] 480 00:16:16,670 --> 00:16:18,250 My gazebo! 481 00:16:18,250 --> 00:16:19,460 Beverly! 482 00:16:19,460 --> 00:16:20,790 [ Sighs ] 483 00:16:20,790 --> 00:16:23,500 Okay. Now I'm ruining the field trip. 484 00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:29,210 Beverly! Come back here, girl! 485 00:16:29,210 --> 00:16:31,210 Beverly, please come home! 486 00:16:31,210 --> 00:16:33,880 Maybe all of this yelling is scaring her. 487 00:16:33,880 --> 00:16:35,380 We should ease up for a sec. 488 00:16:35,380 --> 00:16:37,710 That's good advice for you, too. 489 00:16:37,710 --> 00:16:38,750 Hey! 490 00:16:38,750 --> 00:16:40,710 That is not fair. 491 00:16:40,710 --> 00:16:43,250 You know, the only reason that I came on this field trip 492 00:16:43,250 --> 00:16:45,960 was because I felt bad about working a lot lately 493 00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:47,540 and not spending enough time with you. 494 00:16:47,540 --> 00:16:49,790 You're just trying to force having fun with me. 495 00:16:49,790 --> 00:16:51,500 It is not forced. 496 00:16:51,500 --> 00:16:54,170 I am just trying to connect by doing things you like. 497 00:16:54,170 --> 00:16:57,120 First Day on Earth, singing "Mickey" -- 498 00:16:57,120 --> 00:16:58,670 I don't like those things anymore. 499 00:16:58,670 --> 00:17:00,620 Well, what about ponies? 500 00:17:00,620 --> 00:17:02,830 You were just playing with your ponies yesterday at home. 501 00:17:02,830 --> 00:17:05,000 Yeah -- at home. 502 00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:08,710 I don't need my friends knowing I still play with ponies. 503 00:17:08,710 --> 00:17:10,880 Can't you see how that can be embarrassing for me? 504 00:17:13,580 --> 00:17:15,120 Yeah. 505 00:17:15,120 --> 00:17:17,880 Mom, I've changed. I like different stuff now. 506 00:17:17,880 --> 00:17:19,170 I have new friends, 507 00:17:19,170 --> 00:17:20,790 and I just want to be like everyone else. 508 00:17:20,790 --> 00:17:24,210 ♪♪ 509 00:17:24,210 --> 00:17:27,080 It's almost time to go. 510 00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:28,670 I'm gonna go get on the bus. 511 00:17:28,670 --> 00:17:37,420 ♪♪ 512 00:17:37,420 --> 00:17:39,080 Well, we found Beverly. 513 00:17:39,080 --> 00:17:40,500 She's back in her corral, 514 00:17:40,500 --> 00:17:42,380 sleeping under four weighted blankets. 515 00:17:42,380 --> 00:17:46,960 Man. I blinked for a second, and she changed on me. 516 00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:49,210 No matter how many times it happens, 517 00:17:49,210 --> 00:17:50,960 I'm never ready for it. 518 00:17:50,960 --> 00:17:52,960 I know what you mean. 519 00:17:52,960 --> 00:17:55,670 I wasn't ready to lose my gazebo, but... 520 00:17:55,670 --> 00:17:56,750 here I am. 521 00:17:56,750 --> 00:17:58,120 [ Groans ] 522 00:17:59,960 --> 00:18:02,040 I'll get you for this, Katie Otto. 523 00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:04,670 ♪♪ 524 00:18:04,670 --> 00:18:07,210 Okay, that's enough of that. 525 00:18:07,210 --> 00:18:09,620 Get me in the shower immediately! 526 00:18:09,620 --> 00:18:11,210 Hang on. There's one last thing you need to do. 527 00:18:11,210 --> 00:18:12,580 Put these in your ears. 528 00:18:12,580 --> 00:18:14,040 You have to be joking. 529 00:18:14,040 --> 00:18:15,500 I know, but in most of the world, 530 00:18:15,500 --> 00:18:17,710 onions are used to treat all sorts of illnesses. 531 00:18:17,710 --> 00:18:19,500 This is quick -- five minutes, and then you're totally done. 532 00:18:19,500 --> 00:18:20,540 [ Sighs ] 533 00:18:20,540 --> 00:18:22,120 What do the scallions do? 534 00:18:22,120 --> 00:18:24,170 They make you look more ridiculous. 535 00:18:24,170 --> 00:18:26,250 [ Camera clicks ] What are you doing? 536 00:18:26,250 --> 00:18:27,710 After your mother threw me off the school bus, 537 00:18:27,710 --> 00:18:28,960 I came home to check on you guys. 538 00:18:28,960 --> 00:18:30,540 I quickly found Trip and Cooper, 539 00:18:30,540 --> 00:18:32,880 who are for sure the worst hiders in the world. 540 00:18:32,880 --> 00:18:39,710 ♪♪ 541 00:18:39,710 --> 00:18:46,040 ♪♪ 542 00:18:46,040 --> 00:18:47,790 When I asked them what they were doing there, 543 00:18:47,790 --> 00:18:51,500 Cooper started giving me what was clearly an elaborate lie. 544 00:18:51,500 --> 00:18:53,420 I made it clear unless he told me the truth, 545 00:18:53,420 --> 00:18:54,710 I'd tell your mother everything. 546 00:18:55,920 --> 00:18:57,330 He immediately spilled his guts. 547 00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:01,750 When I asked Trip to confirm the story, 548 00:19:01,750 --> 00:19:04,830 he said he couldn't because he didn't know what was going on. 549 00:19:04,830 --> 00:19:07,210 If you guys ever lie to me again, 550 00:19:07,210 --> 00:19:09,290 I will post this picture everywhere 551 00:19:09,290 --> 00:19:10,710 so all your friends see it. 552 00:19:10,710 --> 00:19:13,170 I'll post it at the school library, at Izzo's Hardware -- 553 00:19:13,170 --> 00:19:15,000 It would just be easier to post it on the Internet. 554 00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:16,210 Why are you helping him? 555 00:19:17,170 --> 00:19:19,000 That was really messed up, Dad. 556 00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:20,620 I thought you were the nice parent. 557 00:19:20,620 --> 00:19:22,500 I am nice, but you took advantage of me, 558 00:19:22,500 --> 00:19:24,880 so the lesson is, never piss off the nice parent, 559 00:19:24,880 --> 00:19:27,120 because if you do, you get punished 10 times harder. 560 00:19:27,120 --> 00:19:28,210 You'll also be happy to know 561 00:19:28,210 --> 00:19:29,670 the stuff you rubbed all over yourself 562 00:19:29,670 --> 00:19:31,670 turned out to be a darn good salad dressing. 563 00:19:31,670 --> 00:19:33,170 Yeah, that really turns my day around. 564 00:19:34,580 --> 00:19:36,380 [ Sighs ] 565 00:19:43,460 --> 00:19:45,170 [ Chanting ] ♪ Oh, Mickey, you're so fine ♪ 566 00:19:45,170 --> 00:19:46,380 ♪ You're so fine, you blow my mind ♪ 567 00:19:46,380 --> 00:19:47,750 ♪ Hey, Mickey ♪ 568 00:19:47,750 --> 00:19:50,040 ♪ Hey, Mickey ♪ 569 00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:51,540 [ Chanting ] ♪ Oh, Mickey, you're so fine ♪ 570 00:19:51,540 --> 00:19:52,830 ♪ You're so fine, you blow my mind ♪ 571 00:19:52,830 --> 00:19:54,460 ♪ Hey, Mickey ♪ 572 00:19:54,460 --> 00:19:56,120 ♪ Hey, Mickey ♪ 573 00:19:59,500 --> 00:20:02,880 [ Singing ] ♪ Oh, Mickey, what a pity, you don't understand ♪ 574 00:20:02,880 --> 00:20:06,080 ♪ You take me by the heart when you take me by the hand ♪ 575 00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:09,120 ♪ Oh, Mickey, you're so pretty, you don't understand ♪ 576 00:20:09,120 --> 00:20:11,750 It's guys like you, Mickey! 577 00:20:11,750 --> 00:20:14,380 ♪ Oh, what you do, Mickey, do, Mickey ♪ 578 00:20:14,380 --> 00:20:16,080 ♪ Don't break my heart, Mickey ♪ 579 00:20:18,620 --> 00:20:20,710 Thanks for throwing me a bone. 580 00:20:20,710 --> 00:20:21,960 No problem. 581 00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:24,080 And if you want to chaperone another field trip, 582 00:20:24,080 --> 00:20:25,750 if you behave... Mm-hmm. 583 00:20:25,750 --> 00:20:26,790 ...I'd be okay with that. 584 00:20:26,790 --> 00:20:29,380 That is so sweet. 585 00:20:29,380 --> 00:20:32,210 But I've been banned from all field trips. 586 00:20:32,210 --> 00:20:33,500 Was that the point of the whole day? 587 00:20:33,500 --> 00:20:34,920 No. 588 00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:36,830 Just an awesome bonus. 589 00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:41,580 [ Chanting ] ♪ Oh, Mickey, you're so fine ♪ 590 00:20:41,580 --> 00:20:43,000 ♪ You're so fine, you blow my mind ♪ 591 00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:44,120 ♪ Hey, Mickey ♪ 592 00:20:44,120 --> 00:20:45,120 ♪ Hey, Mickey ♪ 593 00:20:48,330 --> 00:20:50,710 They totally fell for it. [ Laughs ] 594 00:20:52,080 --> 00:20:53,420 You're a real hard-ass today. 595 00:20:53,420 --> 00:20:54,540 I know. It was really fun. 596 00:20:54,540 --> 00:20:56,420 What is going on around here? 597 00:20:56,420 --> 00:20:57,620 You're mean. 598 00:20:57,620 --> 00:21:00,170 Anna-Kat has become a normal kid with friends. 599 00:21:00,170 --> 00:21:02,000 Wait, let me check something. 600 00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:04,080 Taylor, how you doing, honey? 601 00:21:04,080 --> 00:21:06,790 Taylor: Good! Doing homework! Love you so much! 602 00:21:06,790 --> 00:21:09,040 I have no idea what's going on anymore. 603 00:21:09,040 --> 00:21:10,960 [ Doorbell rings ] 604 00:21:13,670 --> 00:21:15,540 That's weird. There's nobody here. 605 00:21:15,540 --> 00:21:16,330 Hmm. 606 00:21:17,960 --> 00:21:19,000 [ Door closes ] 607 00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:20,920 In your face!