WEBVTT 1 00:00:01,080 --> 00:00:05,830 ♪♪ 2 00:00:05,830 --> 00:00:07,920 Don't take things out of the donate box. 3 00:00:07,920 --> 00:00:10,330 That's all gotta go. But these are the shoes Anna-Kat wore 4 00:00:10,330 --> 00:00:11,710 right before the shoes she had learned to walk in. 5 00:00:11,710 --> 00:00:12,670 They're a keepsake! 6 00:00:12,670 --> 00:00:14,170 They're a crap-sake. [ Shoes thud ] 7 00:00:14,170 --> 00:00:16,120 Anything we can't use is gone. 8 00:00:16,120 --> 00:00:17,460 We gotta clean out our basement 9 00:00:17,460 --> 00:00:18,880 so I can make it my Mom Cave. 10 00:00:18,880 --> 00:00:20,290 Mom Cave? Yeah. 11 00:00:20,290 --> 00:00:21,830 You have your office. 12 00:00:21,830 --> 00:00:23,580 What do I have, Greg? Well, you have -- 13 00:00:23,580 --> 00:00:25,380 I swear to God, if you say "kitchen." 14 00:00:25,380 --> 00:00:27,040 [ Door opens, children giggling ] 15 00:00:29,750 --> 00:00:30,920 Look at them. 16 00:00:30,920 --> 00:00:32,880 They couldn't be happier. 17 00:00:32,880 --> 00:00:34,790 How does a hideous vampire of a woman 18 00:00:34,790 --> 00:00:35,790 like Chloe Brown Mueller 19 00:00:35,790 --> 00:00:37,750 have such a delightful daughter? 20 00:00:37,750 --> 00:00:39,420 Thanks for having me over. 21 00:00:39,420 --> 00:00:42,710 Penny said she can come over again next week! [ Laughs ] 22 00:00:42,710 --> 00:00:43,500 Come on! Come on! 23 00:00:43,500 --> 00:00:45,290 No way. 24 00:00:45,290 --> 00:00:46,920 I can't handle seeing Chloe Brown Mueller 25 00:00:46,920 --> 00:00:48,040 more than once a month, 26 00:00:48,040 --> 00:00:49,830 even if it's for pick-up and drop-off. 27 00:00:49,830 --> 00:00:52,040 Okay, but it's nice to see Anna-Kat making close friends. 28 00:00:52,040 --> 00:00:54,710 [ Giggling ] Of all the people she could be friends with, 29 00:00:54,710 --> 00:00:57,880 she had to choose the one whose mom I hate the most. 30 00:00:57,880 --> 00:00:59,670 She is the cilantro of people. 31 00:00:59,670 --> 00:01:01,330 Why don't you go meet Doris and Angela, 32 00:01:01,330 --> 00:01:02,790 and I'll handle pick-up with Chloe? 33 00:01:02,790 --> 00:01:04,460 By the time you get back, she'll be long gone. 34 00:01:04,460 --> 00:01:06,920 It is so nice to have a husband who supports 35 00:01:06,920 --> 00:01:08,330 my hatred of other people. 36 00:01:08,330 --> 00:01:10,330 [ Chuckles ] 37 00:01:11,460 --> 00:01:19,290 ♪♪ 38 00:01:19,290 --> 00:01:22,750 [ Gasps ] Hey! My old Pick A Pet. 39 00:01:22,750 --> 00:01:24,500 Pick A Pet: "D" is for... Dog! 40 00:01:24,500 --> 00:01:26,620 ...dog. Nailed it. 41 00:01:26,620 --> 00:01:28,290 Taylor, did you do your presentation for History class? 42 00:01:28,290 --> 00:01:30,290 Yep. I just have to put on a few more finishing touches. 43 00:01:30,290 --> 00:01:32,000 [ Keys jingle ] 44 00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:33,750 Then I look forward to seeing it. 45 00:01:33,750 --> 00:01:35,380 And I look forward to you seeing it. 46 00:01:35,380 --> 00:01:37,000 Great. Super great. 47 00:01:41,120 --> 00:01:42,880 You haven't even started, have you? 48 00:01:42,880 --> 00:01:44,170 No. 49 00:01:44,170 --> 00:01:46,380 ♪♪ 50 00:01:46,380 --> 00:01:48,460 Can you believe Mom wants to get rid of this? 51 00:01:48,460 --> 00:01:49,750 Yeah. Because it's garbage. 52 00:01:49,750 --> 00:01:51,000 It looks like I picked the wrong guy 53 00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:53,580 to stroll down Memory Lane with. 54 00:01:53,580 --> 00:01:55,500 Hey, what's all your ballet stuff doing down here? 55 00:01:55,500 --> 00:01:56,620 I'm hiding it. 56 00:01:56,620 --> 00:01:58,040 Brie's coming over later, 57 00:01:58,040 --> 00:01:59,420 and I don't want her to know I take ballet. 58 00:01:59,420 --> 00:02:00,500 Why? You love it. 59 00:02:00,500 --> 00:02:02,460 I know, but she's gonna think it's lame. 60 00:02:02,460 --> 00:02:04,080 Dancing is part of what makes you unique. 61 00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:05,460 Without that, you're kinda hard to take. 62 00:02:05,460 --> 00:02:07,120 Sorry. No, I get that. 63 00:02:07,120 --> 00:02:08,380 You know, if Brie's worth dating, 64 00:02:08,380 --> 00:02:09,830 you should let her know who you really are. 65 00:02:09,830 --> 00:02:12,000 I am. I'm really someone who holds things back 66 00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:13,830 that could be extremely embarrassing for me. 67 00:02:13,830 --> 00:02:15,750 Look, if she likes you, 68 00:02:15,750 --> 00:02:17,290 she won't have a problem with ballet. 69 00:02:17,290 --> 00:02:18,540 [ Sighs ] I don't know. 70 00:02:18,540 --> 00:02:20,880 I'm fifteen, I dance in a leotard 71 00:02:20,880 --> 00:02:22,620 to classical music about a swan. 72 00:02:22,620 --> 00:02:26,500 Swans are historically a fierce, aggressive bird. 73 00:02:26,500 --> 00:02:29,420 You know what? I'm hiding you in the basement, too. 74 00:02:29,420 --> 00:02:32,960 ♪♪ 75 00:02:32,960 --> 00:02:34,330 Can I have more lemonade? 76 00:02:34,330 --> 00:02:35,880 What are you doing? We're done. 77 00:02:35,880 --> 00:02:37,290 I gotta kill time. 78 00:02:37,290 --> 00:02:39,710 Chloe Brown Mueller is coming by the house 79 00:02:39,710 --> 00:02:42,000 to pick up Penny, and I don't want to see her stupid face. 80 00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:43,580 You should do I what I do -- 81 00:02:43,580 --> 00:02:45,290 ban all playdates. 82 00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:47,210 And then start watching "The Masked Singer." 83 00:02:47,210 --> 00:02:48,790 What does that have to do with my problem? 84 00:02:48,790 --> 00:02:51,170 Nothing. I just want someone to talk about it with. 85 00:02:51,170 --> 00:02:53,250 But Anna-Kat and Penny are good friends. 86 00:02:53,250 --> 00:02:55,330 I feel kinda guilty keeping them apart. 87 00:02:55,330 --> 00:02:57,620 You have to put your kids' needs first. 88 00:02:57,620 --> 00:02:59,750 Celeste and I can barely stand to be in the same room with each other, 89 00:02:59,750 --> 00:03:01,790 but we do it for the kids. No. 90 00:03:01,790 --> 00:03:03,380 My kids do not come first. 91 00:03:03,380 --> 00:03:04,790 They come fifth. It goes -- 92 00:03:04,790 --> 00:03:06,120 me, the dog, 93 00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:08,000 my $14,000 toilet, 94 00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:08,960 the maid who doesn't talk -- 95 00:03:08,960 --> 00:03:09,960 love her -- 96 00:03:09,960 --> 00:03:11,000 and then the kids. 97 00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:12,880 Where is Richard on that list? 98 00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:15,250 38th. Right after the cappuccino machine. 99 00:03:15,250 --> 00:03:16,790 Why doesn't she have to come up with real ideas? 100 00:03:16,790 --> 00:03:18,040 I come up with real ideas. 101 00:03:18,040 --> 00:03:21,000 Okay, you don't share custody with Chloe. 102 00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:23,080 Tell Anna-Kat that she can be school-friends with Penny 103 00:03:23,080 --> 00:03:24,420 but not home-friends. 104 00:03:24,420 --> 00:03:26,210 That way, you can avoid Chloe 105 00:03:26,210 --> 00:03:27,790 but you don't hurt the kids. 106 00:03:27,790 --> 00:03:29,250 Win-win. 107 00:03:29,250 --> 00:03:30,620 Wow... 108 00:03:30,620 --> 00:03:32,000 that could work. 109 00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:34,620 [ Whispering ] Was that real enough for ya? 110 00:03:34,620 --> 00:03:35,580 Mm. Mm. 111 00:03:35,580 --> 00:03:39,170 ♪♪ 112 00:03:39,170 --> 00:03:40,880 I was thinking about you hiding 113 00:03:40,880 --> 00:03:42,540 what you're passionate about from Brie. 114 00:03:42,540 --> 00:03:43,960 Well, I was young once, too. 115 00:03:43,960 --> 00:03:45,420 I'm trying to picture it. 116 00:03:47,210 --> 00:03:49,620 The closest I get is just you in shorts. 117 00:03:49,620 --> 00:03:51,670 I had a hobby some people might've called lame, 118 00:03:51,670 --> 00:03:53,000 but that didn't stop me. 119 00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:54,290 I want to show you something. 120 00:04:00,420 --> 00:04:02,460 Oliver, this is Brad. 121 00:04:04,250 --> 00:04:05,790 I am so uncomfortable. 122 00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:09,170 [ Greg as Brad ] You're uncomfortable? 123 00:04:09,170 --> 00:04:11,460 I've been in a suitcase for 20 years. 124 00:04:11,460 --> 00:04:12,670 Oh, my neck! 125 00:04:12,670 --> 00:04:15,000 Wow. Your lips didn't move. 126 00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:16,380 That's amazing. 127 00:04:16,380 --> 00:04:17,420 I should be surprised, 128 00:04:17,420 --> 00:04:19,250 but this is so on-brand for you, Dad. 129 00:04:19,250 --> 00:04:20,960 Brad and I used to be inseparable. 130 00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:23,120 Yeah, until you stole my girl. 131 00:04:23,120 --> 00:04:24,830 Brad, you know that's not fair. 132 00:04:24,830 --> 00:04:26,250 Helen pursued me. 133 00:04:26,250 --> 00:04:28,120 Yeah, but you didn't shut it down when -- 134 00:04:28,120 --> 00:04:30,710 Please stop, or I call 911. 135 00:04:30,710 --> 00:04:32,710 The point is, I didn't hide my hobby 136 00:04:32,710 --> 00:04:34,040 just because it wasn't cool. 137 00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:35,920 And that's what you should do. 138 00:04:35,920 --> 00:04:38,040 Ballet is part of what makes you special. I don't know... 139 00:04:38,040 --> 00:04:39,960 I thought about dancing ballet myself, 140 00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:41,080 but then I remembered... 141 00:04:42,790 --> 00:04:45,040 ...boneless legs. 142 00:04:45,040 --> 00:04:46,290 Now I know. 143 00:04:46,290 --> 00:04:48,210 Thanks for clearing everything up for me. 144 00:04:48,210 --> 00:04:49,540 I'm never telling her. 145 00:04:49,540 --> 00:04:51,960 Katie: Okay! I'm back! 146 00:04:51,960 --> 00:04:54,330 I had to drive around the block seven times 147 00:04:54,330 --> 00:04:56,290 because I didn't want to see that black-hearted devil 148 00:04:56,290 --> 00:04:57,460 Chloe Brown Mue-- 149 00:04:57,460 --> 00:04:59,330 [ Sweetly ] Hi, Penny! You're still here. 150 00:04:59,330 --> 00:05:00,750 Yeah, my mom must be running late. 151 00:05:00,750 --> 00:05:02,500 Huh. [ Clicks tongue ] 152 00:05:02,500 --> 00:05:04,210 You know, I just remembered, 153 00:05:04,210 --> 00:05:06,420 I have a few more errands to run. 154 00:05:08,920 --> 00:05:12,210 Chloe: Penny! Get your coat before I get poor all over me! 155 00:05:12,210 --> 00:05:14,120 [ Quietly ] No! She's here! 156 00:05:14,120 --> 00:05:15,210 [ Scoffs ] 157 00:05:15,210 --> 00:05:21,210 ♪♪ 158 00:05:21,210 --> 00:05:22,710 Sorry about my mom. 159 00:05:22,710 --> 00:05:24,250 It's okay. I've got one, too. 160 00:05:24,250 --> 00:05:25,580 [ Sighs ] 161 00:05:25,580 --> 00:05:27,580 Penny, let's get out of here before I have to see -- 162 00:05:27,580 --> 00:05:29,670 Oh, too late. 163 00:05:29,670 --> 00:05:31,000 There she is. 164 00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:33,000 I can tell by the Costco jeans. 165 00:05:34,380 --> 00:05:35,420 I'll have you know, 166 00:05:35,420 --> 00:05:37,500 I got these in a twelve-pack. 167 00:05:37,500 --> 00:05:39,040 Hm. 168 00:05:39,040 --> 00:05:40,830 Penny, what are you wearing?! 169 00:05:40,830 --> 00:05:43,960 They're just smocks from the donate box. 170 00:05:43,960 --> 00:05:46,960 This entire house is one big donate box. 171 00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:48,960 [ Exhales sharply ] I'm not bringing Penny around here anymore. 172 00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:51,920 Fine. I won't be bringing Anna-Kat over to your house. 173 00:05:51,920 --> 00:05:53,790 It's a huge sacrifice 174 00:05:53,790 --> 00:05:56,040 because I always send her with an extra bag 175 00:05:56,040 --> 00:05:57,170 to steal your FIJI waters. 176 00:05:57,170 --> 00:05:59,040 Fine. Then we agree. 177 00:05:59,040 --> 00:06:01,170 No more playdates. They can be school-friends 178 00:06:01,170 --> 00:06:02,960 but the home-friend thing is over. 179 00:06:02,960 --> 00:06:05,710 I look forward to never seeing your face again. 180 00:06:05,710 --> 00:06:08,880 Not as much as I look forward to never seeing you again. 181 00:06:08,880 --> 00:06:10,580 [ Door slams, locks ] 182 00:06:13,830 --> 00:06:15,830 [ Doorknob rattles ] 183 00:06:15,830 --> 00:06:16,580 [ Doorknob rattles ] 184 00:06:16,580 --> 00:06:17,790 Anna-Kat? 185 00:06:17,790 --> 00:06:19,670 [ Doorknob rattling ] 186 00:06:19,670 --> 00:06:21,460 Why did you lock the door? 187 00:06:21,460 --> 00:06:23,380 Anna-Kat: We're not giving up our playdates. 188 00:06:23,380 --> 00:06:25,250 Penny: You two stay down here until you're friends 189 00:06:25,250 --> 00:06:27,000 so we can play whenever we want. 190 00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:28,620 We'll be back in an hour. 191 00:06:28,620 --> 00:06:30,670 Anna-Kat! Anna-Kat! 192 00:06:30,670 --> 00:06:32,710 Greg! Taylor! 193 00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:35,920 If we can't come out 'til we're friends... 194 00:06:37,670 --> 00:06:39,250 ...we're gonna die in here. 195 00:06:39,250 --> 00:06:40,040 ♪♪ 196 00:06:44,120 --> 00:06:45,210 [ Pounding on door ] 197 00:06:45,210 --> 00:06:46,750 Anna-Kat! Penny! 198 00:06:46,750 --> 00:06:48,420 Let us out! 199 00:06:48,420 --> 00:06:49,790 Ugh! 200 00:06:49,790 --> 00:06:50,790 Katie: You're not gonna get a signal. 201 00:06:50,790 --> 00:06:51,830 [ Exhales sharply ] 202 00:06:51,830 --> 00:06:53,250 Kids! 203 00:06:53,250 --> 00:06:55,000 Katie's sad husband! 204 00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:56,460 Help! 205 00:06:56,460 --> 00:06:58,670 It's no use. We're locked in. 206 00:06:58,670 --> 00:07:01,120 God, I feel like a kid at the zoo 207 00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:03,170 who fell into a gorilla enclosure. 208 00:07:03,170 --> 00:07:04,170 Except at least they have sunlight 209 00:07:04,170 --> 00:07:06,000 and the gorilla can't talk. 210 00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:08,330 God, I have an appointment that I cannot miss! 211 00:07:08,330 --> 00:07:10,380 Need to go to the hospital for more baby blood 212 00:07:10,380 --> 00:07:12,330 because you drink the blood of babies? 213 00:07:12,330 --> 00:07:14,000 I have things to do, too. Right. 214 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:15,880 I'm sure you have nothing on your schedule 215 00:07:15,880 --> 00:07:18,000 but "wear wrinkled clothes all day." 216 00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:19,460 And look! You're all set. 217 00:07:20,920 --> 00:07:22,210 [ Hinges creak ] 218 00:07:22,210 --> 00:07:25,040 ♪♪ 219 00:07:25,040 --> 00:07:26,080 [ Ladder thudding ] 220 00:07:28,120 --> 00:07:30,460 Dad? Anna-Kat! 221 00:07:30,460 --> 00:07:32,580 Why are you putting things Mom told you to throw away 222 00:07:32,580 --> 00:07:34,540 in the attic? That's a good question. 223 00:07:34,540 --> 00:07:36,040 Have you seen your Mom? 224 00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:38,250 Is she close by or headed this way? 225 00:07:38,250 --> 00:07:41,420 Don't be mad, but I locked Mom and Penny's mom 226 00:07:41,420 --> 00:07:43,670 in the basement until they become friends. 227 00:07:43,670 --> 00:07:45,540 That is very... 228 00:07:45,540 --> 00:07:47,880 good for me. 229 00:07:47,880 --> 00:07:50,380 [ Doorknob rattling ] 230 00:07:50,380 --> 00:07:52,500 What do you think is on that doorknob? 231 00:07:52,500 --> 00:07:53,670 Your house smells like 232 00:07:53,670 --> 00:07:56,000 a wet dog opened a fried chicken franchise! 233 00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:57,960 I'm not touching anything. 234 00:07:57,960 --> 00:07:59,710 [ Footsteps approaching ] [ Gasps ] Hello? 235 00:07:59,710 --> 00:08:01,500 Greg?! Let us out! 236 00:08:01,500 --> 00:08:02,750 It's us. 237 00:08:02,750 --> 00:08:03,540 It's been an hour. 238 00:08:03,540 --> 00:08:04,540 Are you two friends yet? 239 00:08:04,540 --> 00:08:05,460 [ Sighs ] 240 00:08:06,790 --> 00:08:08,460 You know... 241 00:08:08,460 --> 00:08:10,710 we are friends now. 242 00:08:10,710 --> 00:08:12,500 You are? For real? 243 00:08:12,500 --> 00:08:14,830 Mm-hmm. Yes! We are. 244 00:08:14,830 --> 00:08:16,540 W-- The best of friends. 245 00:08:16,540 --> 00:08:17,960 We're hugging! 246 00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:20,210 Mm, so squishy! 247 00:08:20,210 --> 00:08:22,250 You can let us out now! 248 00:08:22,250 --> 00:08:24,620 Okay, if you're friends, 249 00:08:24,620 --> 00:08:27,290 Mom, what's Chloe's favorite animal? 250 00:08:28,880 --> 00:08:30,710 Uh... 251 00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:34,380 A horse. 252 00:08:36,960 --> 00:08:40,330 A very pretentious horse! 253 00:08:40,330 --> 00:08:42,080 That's right. 254 00:08:42,080 --> 00:08:44,170 Okay, Mom, what is Katie's favorite color? 255 00:08:44,170 --> 00:08:45,580 Uh... 256 00:08:45,580 --> 00:08:47,040 [ Whispering ] Purple. [ Stammers ] 257 00:08:47,040 --> 00:08:48,620 I-I'm gonna say... 258 00:08:48,620 --> 00:08:50,040 stained plaid? 259 00:08:50,040 --> 00:08:51,500 You couldn't lie for one second?! 260 00:08:51,500 --> 00:08:53,920 Well, you couldn't dress not-terribly for one day?! 261 00:08:53,920 --> 00:08:55,540 Not friends. 262 00:08:55,540 --> 00:08:57,040 See you in another hour. 263 00:08:57,040 --> 00:08:58,500 [ Katie and Chloe groan loudly ] 264 00:08:58,500 --> 00:09:01,120 Penny, I did not have a scheduled C-section 265 00:09:01,120 --> 00:09:03,460 and pay thousands of dollars to a Jamaican night nurse 266 00:09:03,460 --> 00:09:05,420 to have you grow up and treat me this way! 267 00:09:05,420 --> 00:09:06,880 [ Inhales deeply ] 268 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:09,000 Aah! I touched it! 269 00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:10,000 [ Shrieks ] 270 00:09:12,080 --> 00:09:14,170 Ooh, what's this stuff? 271 00:09:14,170 --> 00:09:15,960 I don't know. It's not mine. 272 00:09:15,960 --> 00:09:18,330 It says "Oliver's stuff." 273 00:09:18,330 --> 00:09:19,710 Oh, yeah. 274 00:09:19,710 --> 00:09:20,960 A "Harry Potter" wand. 275 00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:23,210 Is this yours? No. 276 00:09:23,210 --> 00:09:25,620 It...says "Oliver's wand." 277 00:09:25,620 --> 00:09:26,790 My "Harry Potter" phase 278 00:09:26,790 --> 00:09:29,040 overlapped with my label-making phase. 279 00:09:29,040 --> 00:09:30,830 I used to be kind of a nerd. 280 00:09:30,830 --> 00:09:32,500 [ Chuckling ] That's so cute. 281 00:09:32,500 --> 00:09:33,670 You don't think it's stupid? 282 00:09:33,670 --> 00:09:35,290 No, if it's something you liked, 283 00:09:35,290 --> 00:09:36,250 why would I think it's stupid? 284 00:09:37,920 --> 00:09:39,580 Wait right here. I want to show you something. 285 00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:44,290 "The label maker that shall not be named." 286 00:09:44,290 --> 00:09:46,460 Stop looking in there! [ Laughs ] 287 00:09:46,460 --> 00:09:49,000 ♪♪ 288 00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:50,960 [ Knock on door ] 289 00:09:50,960 --> 00:09:53,880 Just finishing up, Mom! I'll be done in a minute! 290 00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:55,290 Don't worry, it's just us. 291 00:09:55,290 --> 00:09:56,330 We want to play with you. 292 00:09:56,330 --> 00:09:58,120 I can't. I gotta finish 293 00:09:58,120 --> 00:10:00,120 my history presentation on the 1980s. 294 00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:01,620 If she finds out I didn't do it, 295 00:10:01,620 --> 00:10:03,040 I'm gonna get the Mom Speech. 296 00:10:03,040 --> 00:10:05,750 Oh, yeah. Those Mom speeches are the worst. 297 00:10:05,750 --> 00:10:07,250 [ As Katie ] "You're so unfocused. 298 00:10:07,250 --> 00:10:09,080 You never live up to your potential." 299 00:10:09,080 --> 00:10:12,250 "Stop giving your ponies Viking funerals in the bathtub. 300 00:10:12,250 --> 00:10:13,920 You're gonna burn the whole house down." 301 00:10:13,920 --> 00:10:15,330 Good one. 302 00:10:15,330 --> 00:10:17,210 I'm sure she's on her way to check on me right now. 303 00:10:17,210 --> 00:10:18,750 Well, what if I were to tell you 304 00:10:18,750 --> 00:10:20,880 that Mom is unavoidably detained? 305 00:10:20,880 --> 00:10:23,420 Then I would ask you what those last two words mean. 306 00:10:23,420 --> 00:10:25,080 We locked both our moms in the basement 307 00:10:25,080 --> 00:10:26,750 until they become friends. 308 00:10:26,750 --> 00:10:28,040 How about this -- 309 00:10:28,040 --> 00:10:30,040 we'll help you do your presentation, 310 00:10:30,040 --> 00:10:31,330 you'll play with us after, 311 00:10:31,330 --> 00:10:33,120 and you won't get a Mom Speech. 312 00:10:33,120 --> 00:10:35,710 Everybody wins. Cool! [ Chuckles ] 313 00:10:35,710 --> 00:10:37,880 Wait, won't my teacher be able to tell 314 00:10:37,880 --> 00:10:40,250 the project was done by a couple of fourth graders? 315 00:10:40,250 --> 00:10:42,460 Mm, my gut says she won't know the difference. 316 00:10:45,500 --> 00:10:46,960 Well, hey. 317 00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:48,580 You want to help Brad and I put boxes in the attic? 318 00:10:48,580 --> 00:10:51,210 I'm doing all the heavy lifting. 319 00:10:51,210 --> 00:10:52,500 I'm getting worried about you. 320 00:10:52,500 --> 00:10:53,750 I'm just having fun. 321 00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:57,000 Where's my ballet stuff? 322 00:10:57,000 --> 00:10:58,000 Why do you ask? 323 00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:00,000 I'm not talking to him. 324 00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:01,580 You know, you might be right, Dad. 325 00:11:01,580 --> 00:11:03,420 I think Brie's cool with whatever I'm into, 326 00:11:03,420 --> 00:11:05,000 so I thought I'd show her my ballet gear. 327 00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:06,620 You're really good. I'm sure she'll be impressed. 328 00:11:06,620 --> 00:11:08,380 Yeah, just like how Mom must've been impressed 329 00:11:08,380 --> 00:11:10,330 with you being a ventriloquist. 330 00:11:10,330 --> 00:11:11,250 Right. 331 00:11:11,250 --> 00:11:13,290 She wasn't impressed? Um... 332 00:11:13,290 --> 00:11:14,880 You never told her. 333 00:11:14,880 --> 00:11:16,040 Of course not! You know your mom. 334 00:11:16,040 --> 00:11:17,670 She'd think it was stupid! 335 00:11:17,670 --> 00:11:19,420 That's what I said, and you said I was being silly! 336 00:11:19,420 --> 00:11:21,500 Hypocrite! You're telling me to be honest, 337 00:11:21,500 --> 00:11:23,540 and you never told Mom about this little weirdo? 338 00:11:23,540 --> 00:11:26,120 I'm never telling Brie. 339 00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:28,920 ♪♪ 340 00:11:28,920 --> 00:11:31,710 [ Exhales sharply ] 341 00:11:31,710 --> 00:11:33,750 [ Sighs ] 342 00:11:33,750 --> 00:11:35,120 Ugh, what are you doing? 343 00:11:35,120 --> 00:11:36,920 It's called ice cream. 344 00:11:36,920 --> 00:11:38,790 You combine cream and sugar 345 00:11:38,790 --> 00:11:40,500 and make it cold. 346 00:11:40,500 --> 00:11:43,330 It brings you happiness... 347 00:11:43,330 --> 00:11:45,040 which is an emotion where you feel good. 348 00:11:45,040 --> 00:11:46,000 I know what ice cream is. 349 00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:47,080 I love ice cream. 350 00:11:47,080 --> 00:11:48,330 I used to eat it 15 years ago 351 00:11:48,330 --> 00:11:50,460 before I went on a strict carrot soup diet. 352 00:11:50,460 --> 00:11:51,120 Hold on. 353 00:11:52,620 --> 00:11:54,250 You only eat carrot soup? 354 00:11:54,250 --> 00:11:55,380 Once a year on my birthday, 355 00:11:55,380 --> 00:11:56,960 I treat myself to a frozen grape. 356 00:11:56,960 --> 00:11:58,620 [ Chuckles ] 357 00:11:58,620 --> 00:12:00,960 If I'm gonna cheat, though, it's gonna be with alcohol. 358 00:12:00,960 --> 00:12:01,880 Well, here. 359 00:12:01,880 --> 00:12:03,080 [ Carton thuds ] 360 00:12:03,080 --> 00:12:05,420 I also found this in the freezer. 361 00:12:05,420 --> 00:12:07,460 Mmm, Mama likes. Yeah. 362 00:12:07,460 --> 00:12:08,540 [ Sniffs ] 363 00:12:08,540 --> 00:12:10,250 Huh. It's still vodka. 364 00:12:10,250 --> 00:12:11,960 Hasn't been replaced with water. 365 00:12:11,960 --> 00:12:13,540 Guess Taylor hasn't started drinking yet. 366 00:12:13,540 --> 00:12:15,080 Nerd. 367 00:12:15,080 --> 00:12:19,250 ♪♪ 368 00:12:19,250 --> 00:12:20,420 [ Sighs ] 369 00:12:20,420 --> 00:12:22,710 And now I'm gonna miss my appointment. 370 00:12:22,710 --> 00:12:24,920 Can't you just reschedule the stupid thing? 371 00:12:24,920 --> 00:12:27,830 No. It took me weeks to get it. 372 00:12:27,830 --> 00:12:30,710 [ Sighs ] It's a...medical procedure. 373 00:12:30,710 --> 00:12:32,790 Oh. Yeah. 374 00:12:32,790 --> 00:12:35,290 And if I don't get there today, 375 00:12:35,290 --> 00:12:36,790 I don't know what's gonna happen to me. 376 00:12:38,500 --> 00:12:40,460 I didn't realize it was so serious. 377 00:12:40,460 --> 00:12:41,580 Well, it is. 378 00:12:41,580 --> 00:12:45,420 ♪♪ 379 00:12:45,420 --> 00:12:47,380 Katie: Don't do it. Don't let her in. 380 00:12:47,380 --> 00:12:48,920 Think about something else. 381 00:12:48,920 --> 00:12:51,290 Think about baseball. 382 00:12:51,290 --> 00:12:52,420 [ Carton thuds ] 383 00:12:52,420 --> 00:12:53,750 Okay. 384 00:12:53,750 --> 00:12:56,000 Let's get you out of here. What? 385 00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:58,040 Damn it. Doesn't work for Greg, either. 386 00:12:58,040 --> 00:13:01,920 ♪♪ 387 00:13:01,920 --> 00:13:02,960 [ Both grunt ] 388 00:13:02,960 --> 00:13:04,500 [ Smacks bottom ] 389 00:13:04,500 --> 00:13:06,710 ♪♪ 390 00:13:06,710 --> 00:13:07,830 [ Shouts ] 391 00:13:07,830 --> 00:13:09,290 [ Panting ] 392 00:13:09,290 --> 00:13:11,710 Everything in this house is crap except this door. 393 00:13:11,710 --> 00:13:13,500 [ Both shouting ] 394 00:13:13,500 --> 00:13:17,710 ♪♪ 395 00:13:17,710 --> 00:13:18,920 Hammer. 396 00:13:18,920 --> 00:13:21,830 ♪♪ 397 00:13:21,830 --> 00:13:22,920 [ Doorknob thuds ] 398 00:13:22,920 --> 00:13:24,000 [ Sighs ] 399 00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:27,210 ♪♪ 400 00:13:27,210 --> 00:13:28,500 [ Door thuds ] 401 00:13:28,500 --> 00:13:31,580 ♪♪ 402 00:13:31,580 --> 00:13:33,210 [ Exhales sharply ] 403 00:13:33,210 --> 00:13:34,670 [ Both shouting ] 404 00:13:34,670 --> 00:13:37,580 ♪♪ 405 00:13:37,580 --> 00:13:39,880 Katie, I'm stuck! 406 00:13:39,880 --> 00:13:41,040 I know! 407 00:13:41,040 --> 00:13:42,380 Get me out of here! 408 00:13:42,380 --> 00:13:43,540 [ Grunts ] 409 00:13:43,540 --> 00:13:45,000 Oh, hey, dog. 410 00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:46,750 Come over here. 411 00:13:46,750 --> 00:13:48,790 Listen, go for help. 412 00:13:48,790 --> 00:13:50,750 Go for help! [ Luthor whines ] 413 00:13:50,750 --> 00:13:53,080 Oh, God, you're as stupid as your whole family. 414 00:13:53,080 --> 00:13:54,620 [ Katie grunting ] 415 00:13:54,620 --> 00:13:57,080 [ Shouts ] 416 00:13:57,080 --> 00:13:59,540 [ Crash, objects clatter ] 417 00:13:59,540 --> 00:14:01,460 [ Groans ] 418 00:14:01,460 --> 00:14:02,790 I got you out! 419 00:14:02,790 --> 00:14:04,080 No, you didn't! 420 00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:05,500 We're still in here! 421 00:14:05,500 --> 00:14:06,790 I'm sorry, Chloe. 422 00:14:06,790 --> 00:14:09,880 You know, we are gonna get you another appointment. 423 00:14:09,880 --> 00:14:11,290 He's a specialist. 424 00:14:11,290 --> 00:14:13,460 Do you know how hard it is to see him? 425 00:14:13,460 --> 00:14:16,040 [ Sighs ] It's too late. Don't give up. 426 00:14:16,040 --> 00:14:17,960 Don't ever give up. 427 00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:20,040 You are gonna beat this. 428 00:14:20,040 --> 00:14:21,540 What am I supposed to do? 429 00:14:21,540 --> 00:14:23,670 I need to see Dr. Henry today! 430 00:14:24,790 --> 00:14:26,170 Wait. 431 00:14:26,170 --> 00:14:28,080 Dr. Henry? 432 00:14:28,080 --> 00:14:30,460 The Westport Botox guy? Yeah. 433 00:14:30,460 --> 00:14:32,960 That is your important medical procedure? 434 00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:34,250 Botox?! 435 00:14:34,250 --> 00:14:35,250 Yeah! 436 00:14:35,250 --> 00:14:37,790 You made me feel sorry for you. 437 00:14:37,790 --> 00:14:39,290 For you! 438 00:14:39,290 --> 00:14:41,420 I touched your shoulder. 439 00:14:41,420 --> 00:14:44,540 I thought you had a legitimate medical condition, Chloe. 440 00:14:44,540 --> 00:14:47,420 I do! Age is a condition! 441 00:14:47,420 --> 00:14:48,750 It kills people. 442 00:14:48,750 --> 00:14:50,710 You are the epitome 443 00:14:50,710 --> 00:14:52,960 of what is wrong with women in this town. 444 00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:55,960 You spend all your time and money on shallow garbage. 445 00:14:55,960 --> 00:14:57,380 I don't have to sit here and take this. 446 00:14:57,380 --> 00:14:58,290 Ugh. 447 00:15:03,250 --> 00:15:04,250 [ Inhales deeply ] 448 00:15:04,250 --> 00:15:06,040 [ Shrieks ] 449 00:15:10,420 --> 00:15:12,460 This isn't an ordinary appointment for Botox, 450 00:15:12,460 --> 00:15:14,330 just so you know. Why? 451 00:15:14,330 --> 00:15:16,250 Because it has to be performed by an exorcist? 452 00:15:16,250 --> 00:15:17,170 No. 453 00:15:17,170 --> 00:15:19,210 Stan's getting married. Who? 454 00:15:19,210 --> 00:15:21,420 Stan. My ex-husband. 455 00:15:21,420 --> 00:15:23,330 To a 30-year-old. 456 00:15:23,330 --> 00:15:24,880 And I have to go to the wedding. 457 00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:26,620 Why on Earth would you go? 458 00:15:26,620 --> 00:15:28,500 For Penny's sake. 459 00:15:28,500 --> 00:15:31,040 And to prove that I'm the totally cool ex-wife 460 00:15:31,040 --> 00:15:32,170 who's fine with it. 461 00:15:32,170 --> 00:15:33,620 And who looks fantastic. 462 00:15:33,620 --> 00:15:36,170 Chloe... So I've been starving myself. 463 00:15:36,170 --> 00:15:38,710 I haven't had a sweet for years. 464 00:15:38,710 --> 00:15:40,040 And what good has it done me? 465 00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:42,620 I can't even squeeze through a basement window! 466 00:15:42,620 --> 00:15:45,170 I mean, how can I compete with a 30-year-old?! 467 00:15:45,170 --> 00:15:47,460 This is just all so humiliating! 468 00:15:47,460 --> 00:15:48,670 [ Sighs heavily ] 469 00:15:48,670 --> 00:15:50,380 I have felt bad for you twice in one day. 470 00:15:50,380 --> 00:15:53,000 It is exhausting. 471 00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:53,880 Come on. 472 00:15:55,460 --> 00:15:57,210 Is this a typical snack they serve in Ravenclaw? 473 00:15:57,210 --> 00:15:59,210 [ Scoffs ] First of all, how dare you. 474 00:15:59,210 --> 00:16:00,750 I was House Gryffindor. 475 00:16:00,750 --> 00:16:02,000 [ Laughs ] And second, this -- 476 00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:03,500 Greg: Oliver, can you come into my office 477 00:16:03,500 --> 00:16:04,830 for a second? 478 00:16:04,830 --> 00:16:06,830 I'm good! Okay! 479 00:16:06,830 --> 00:16:09,620 [ As Brad ] [ Chuckles ] We'll just come out there to you! 480 00:16:09,620 --> 00:16:11,420 No, I'm on my way! I'm on my way! 481 00:16:13,460 --> 00:16:14,580 What do you want? 482 00:16:14,580 --> 00:16:16,000 I thought about it, and you're right. 483 00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:17,540 I am a hypocrite. 484 00:16:17,540 --> 00:16:19,250 I was telling you to do something I couldn't do myself. 485 00:16:19,250 --> 00:16:21,210 So you know what? I'm gonna do it. 486 00:16:21,210 --> 00:16:23,380 I'm gonna tell your mom about me and Brad 487 00:16:23,380 --> 00:16:24,330 to prove to you it's the right thing to do. 488 00:16:24,330 --> 00:16:26,170 Stop! I can't let Brie know 489 00:16:26,170 --> 00:16:28,750 my dad's best friend is a ventriloquist dummy. 490 00:16:28,750 --> 00:16:30,000 Also, don't mention you're a teacher. 491 00:16:34,460 --> 00:16:35,460 [ Sighs ] 492 00:16:35,460 --> 00:16:37,920 ♪♪ 493 00:16:37,920 --> 00:16:41,080 We are not going to call it quits yet. 494 00:16:41,080 --> 00:16:43,500 We are not gonna let that window 495 00:16:43,500 --> 00:16:45,040 or that door 496 00:16:45,040 --> 00:16:47,000 or this doorknob stop us. 497 00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:48,250 Your ex-husband dumping you 498 00:16:48,250 --> 00:16:50,710 to marry a younger woman is terrible -- 499 00:16:50,710 --> 00:16:52,380 even more terrible than you are. 500 00:16:52,380 --> 00:16:54,250 That's why I'm going to help you get out of here 501 00:16:54,250 --> 00:16:55,670 so you can get a faceful of poison 502 00:16:55,670 --> 00:16:59,000 and show Stan that you may not be a 30-year-old, 503 00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:01,960 but by God, you're gonna have the forehead of a 30-year-old. 504 00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:04,380 Yes! 505 00:17:04,380 --> 00:17:05,670 You and me, 506 00:17:05,670 --> 00:17:08,210 we are going to run at that door at the same time. 507 00:17:08,210 --> 00:17:11,380 We are gonna "Thelma & Louise" that door down. 508 00:17:13,040 --> 00:17:16,880 One...two... thr-- 509 00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:21,000 Hooray! [ Screaming ] 510 00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:23,080 We did it! [ Both laughing ] 511 00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:30,120 Katie, I have someone to introduce you to. 512 00:17:30,120 --> 00:17:32,040 Nice to finally meet you, Katie. 513 00:17:33,790 --> 00:17:35,920 What are you doing? 514 00:17:35,920 --> 00:17:37,080 Why aren't you moving your mouth? 515 00:17:37,080 --> 00:17:38,750 My name is Greg Otto, 516 00:17:38,750 --> 00:17:41,250 and I am a ventriloquist. 517 00:17:41,250 --> 00:17:43,120 Good thing you didn't show me that when we were dating... 518 00:17:43,120 --> 00:17:45,170 [ Exhales sharply ] ...because I would have never married you. 519 00:17:45,170 --> 00:17:47,380 [ Smacks lips ] But I'm stuck now 520 00:17:47,380 --> 00:17:49,290 because we have kids. 521 00:17:49,290 --> 00:17:50,330 Gotta go. 522 00:17:53,210 --> 00:17:54,080 Sad. 523 00:17:56,830 --> 00:17:58,500 [ Exhales deeply ] That was rough. 524 00:17:58,500 --> 00:18:00,330 Yeah... 525 00:18:00,330 --> 00:18:02,540 [ Normal voice ] Oliver, 526 00:18:02,540 --> 00:18:04,750 I'd hold off telling Brie about your ballet. 527 00:18:04,750 --> 00:18:06,790 At the very least, wait until you're married 528 00:18:06,790 --> 00:18:08,210 and have three kids before you even think 529 00:18:08,210 --> 00:18:10,460 about revisiting this. So, hide who I am? 530 00:18:10,460 --> 00:18:12,120 With everything you've got. 531 00:18:12,120 --> 00:18:13,540 [ Chuckles ] Thanks for the lesson, Dad. 532 00:18:13,540 --> 00:18:17,750 ♪♪ 533 00:18:17,750 --> 00:18:20,210 [ Chloe sighs ] 534 00:18:20,210 --> 00:18:22,500 I'll call you an Uber and watch Penny. 535 00:18:22,500 --> 00:18:24,460 [ Whimsical tune plays in distance ] 536 00:18:24,460 --> 00:18:25,750 Wait. 537 00:18:25,750 --> 00:18:27,290 No Uber. Come on! 538 00:18:27,290 --> 00:18:28,380 W-What do you mean? 539 00:18:28,380 --> 00:18:30,540 I-I can still make my appointment! 540 00:18:30,540 --> 00:18:31,670 [ Music grows louder ] 541 00:18:31,670 --> 00:18:37,380 ♪♪ 542 00:18:37,380 --> 00:18:38,790 Forget the appointment. 543 00:18:38,790 --> 00:18:40,330 You need to make yourself happy. 544 00:18:40,330 --> 00:18:42,120 So instead of Botox, 545 00:18:42,120 --> 00:18:44,380 have what you really need to feel good. 546 00:18:44,380 --> 00:18:45,420 An ice cream cone. 547 00:18:46,620 --> 00:18:48,000 I'm feeling tempted. 548 00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:49,670 I gotta call my sponsor. 549 00:18:49,670 --> 00:18:51,170 [ Cellphone unlocks ] 550 00:18:51,170 --> 00:18:53,290 Maria, I'm feeling kind of snacky. 551 00:18:54,620 --> 00:18:57,000 [ Whispers ] No. Stop wasting your happiness 552 00:18:57,000 --> 00:18:58,670 caring what other people think. 553 00:18:58,670 --> 00:19:00,380 [ Birds chirping ] 554 00:19:04,380 --> 00:19:06,250 [ Exhales deeply ] Mm-hmm. 555 00:19:06,250 --> 00:19:07,750 Mmm. 556 00:19:07,750 --> 00:19:10,000 Thank you so much, Katie. 557 00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:12,580 Um, this flavor is really interesting. 558 00:19:12,580 --> 00:19:14,620 It tastes like... 559 00:19:14,620 --> 00:19:15,790 not carrot. 560 00:19:15,790 --> 00:19:18,620 Oh. Mmm. 561 00:19:18,620 --> 00:19:21,710 It's the best thing in the world. 562 00:19:21,710 --> 00:19:23,120 [ Exhales deeply ] 563 00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:24,290 [ Ice cream splats ] And I'm done. 564 00:19:25,880 --> 00:19:27,620 If you weren't here, I'd totally five-second-rule that. 565 00:19:27,620 --> 00:19:28,880 No. 566 00:19:28,880 --> 00:19:30,620 Anna-Kat! Penny! 567 00:19:34,210 --> 00:19:36,620 Ice cream! Ice cream! 568 00:19:36,620 --> 00:19:38,500 [ Ice cream splats ] 569 00:19:38,500 --> 00:19:40,080 That's for locking us in the basement. 570 00:19:40,080 --> 00:19:41,170 You're grounded for a week. 571 00:19:41,170 --> 00:19:43,120 And so are you. But after that, 572 00:19:43,120 --> 00:19:45,710 you can be school-friends and home-friends 573 00:19:45,710 --> 00:19:46,960 whenever you want. 574 00:19:46,960 --> 00:19:48,120 So are you two friends now? 575 00:19:48,120 --> 00:19:49,960 Ugh, no way! Oh, hell no! Ugh. 576 00:19:49,960 --> 00:19:51,120 Maybe at-home friends? 577 00:19:53,120 --> 00:19:55,420 Truce until these things go to college. 578 00:19:55,420 --> 00:19:56,920 Sure. 579 00:19:56,920 --> 00:19:59,710 [ Anna-Kat and Penny giggle ] 580 00:19:59,710 --> 00:20:01,670 But then afterwards, I'm gonna run you over with my car. 581 00:20:01,670 --> 00:20:02,920 You're gonna have a tough time doing that 582 00:20:02,920 --> 00:20:04,540 because I'm going to kill you in your sleep. 583 00:20:04,540 --> 00:20:05,460 All right. 584 00:20:09,500 --> 00:20:11,380 [ Mouse clicking ] 585 00:20:11,380 --> 00:20:12,790 You guys did a good job. 586 00:20:12,790 --> 00:20:15,670 Taylor, I found your assignment sheet under your bed. 587 00:20:15,670 --> 00:20:16,790 So? 588 00:20:16,790 --> 00:20:19,120 This isn't a project on the 1980s. 589 00:20:19,120 --> 00:20:21,460 It's a project on "1984." 590 00:20:21,460 --> 00:20:23,960 Fine, I'll just delete the stuff from 1985 or whatever. 591 00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:26,330 Not the year 1984, the book! 592 00:20:26,330 --> 00:20:27,960 George Orwell's "1984." 593 00:20:29,580 --> 00:20:32,120 And it's not for History -- it's for English. 594 00:20:32,120 --> 00:20:34,120 What am I gonna do? I have to hand this in tomorrow! 595 00:20:34,120 --> 00:20:35,330 It's not due tomorrow. 596 00:20:35,330 --> 00:20:36,670 It's due next month. 597 00:20:36,670 --> 00:20:39,040 Well, at least my lack of detail got me an extra month. 598 00:20:40,920 --> 00:20:42,250 I don't believe this. 599 00:20:42,250 --> 00:20:45,670 I helped you do this entire project for nothing. 600 00:20:45,670 --> 00:20:47,960 Maybe Mom's right to give you these speeches. 601 00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:49,880 And since she's not here right now, 602 00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:51,080 I'm gonna give you one. 603 00:20:51,080 --> 00:20:52,380 I'm not gonna stand here and -- 604 00:20:52,380 --> 00:20:53,920 [ Sternly ] Sit down! 605 00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:56,210 This is a wake-up call. 606 00:20:56,210 --> 00:20:57,960 You've got to get organized, Taylor, 607 00:20:57,960 --> 00:20:59,500 and not just about this -- 608 00:20:59,500 --> 00:21:02,420 about every detail in your life. 609 00:21:02,420 --> 00:21:04,460 You've got so much potential. 610 00:21:04,460 --> 00:21:08,460 And if you just apply it, you could surprise everyone. 611 00:21:08,460 --> 00:21:10,670 Most of all yourself. 612 00:21:10,670 --> 00:21:12,960 I'm sorry. I'll try harder. 613 00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:14,330 I want to make you proud. 614 00:21:14,330 --> 00:21:15,830 That's my girl.