1 00:00:00,594 --> 00:00:04,367 Whoa. A banana hanger. 2 00:00:04,588 --> 00:00:05,754 Did we win the lottery? 3 00:00:05,823 --> 00:00:07,589 Now that we've been a two-income family for a while, 4 00:00:07,658 --> 00:00:10,225 we can finally replace the stuff that's falling apart 5 00:00:10,294 --> 00:00:11,893 and enjoy a few luxuries. 6 00:00:11,995 --> 00:00:14,134 Oh, yeah. Those 'nanas gonna be heck-a-ripe. 7 00:00:14,220 --> 00:00:15,964 - Mm-hmm. - It is nice not worrying 8 00:00:16,066 --> 00:00:17,706 about every dollar we spend, for once. 9 00:00:17,801 --> 00:00:19,834 Whoa. 10 00:00:19,937 --> 00:00:21,469 - New can opener. - That's right! 11 00:00:21,571 --> 00:00:24,272 Goodbye, old can opener that only opens cans halfway 12 00:00:24,374 --> 00:00:26,668 so you have to pry the lid open with a knife. 13 00:00:26,693 --> 00:00:28,659 Goodbye, knife we ruined opening cans. 14 00:00:28,761 --> 00:00:30,214 And look, we finally have art 15 00:00:30,239 --> 00:00:31,740 that wasn't made by the kids. 16 00:00:31,740 --> 00:00:33,173 Say hello to the painting 17 00:00:33,242 --> 00:00:35,242 that says "family" in five languages. 18 00:00:35,310 --> 00:00:36,720 I love it. Let's hang it. 19 00:00:36,745 --> 00:00:38,010 You'll have to do it without me. 20 00:00:38,079 --> 00:00:39,932 I have to go into work to talk to Whitney. 21 00:00:39,957 --> 00:00:41,289 It's Sunday. 22 00:00:41,358 --> 00:00:43,225 And why do you have to go in the office to meet with her? 23 00:00:43,327 --> 00:00:44,426 Isn't she always on speakerphone? 24 00:00:44,528 --> 00:00:47,329 Yeah. It's dumb. This whole job is dumb. 25 00:00:47,431 --> 00:00:48,257 You used to like party planning. 26 00:00:48,257 --> 00:00:49,156 For a second. 27 00:00:49,258 --> 00:00:50,524 It was a fun way to make money, 28 00:00:50,593 --> 00:00:51,792 and I liked people that I hate 29 00:00:51,861 --> 00:00:53,594 telling me what a good job I did. 30 00:00:53,696 --> 00:00:55,963 But now it's crushing my soul. 31 00:00:56,065 --> 00:00:57,231 Guess that's the price you pay 32 00:00:57,333 --> 00:00:59,034 if you want to hang your bananas. 33 00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:00,893 Gross. Leave that talk in the bedroom. 34 00:01:02,096 --> 00:01:04,263 Thanks for working so hard. It means a lot to your family. 35 00:01:04,498 --> 00:01:08,000 And your familia, famille, 36 00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:10,512 famiglia, and your mischpokhe. 37 00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:15,507 What is that? 38 00:01:15,609 --> 00:01:17,342 Nothing. 39 00:01:17,444 --> 00:01:18,777 Are you wearing a bracelet? 40 00:01:18,846 --> 00:01:20,112 You're gonna be late for work. 41 00:01:20,214 --> 00:01:23,448 Are you auditioning to be the cute one in a boy band? 42 00:01:23,551 --> 00:01:24,750 I don't want to talk about it! 43 00:01:24,852 --> 00:01:27,386 Katie, just let the guy wear a bracelet. 44 00:01:27,488 --> 00:01:28,587 You're not going to, are you? 45 00:01:28,689 --> 00:01:30,155 No. 46 00:01:30,224 --> 00:01:33,125 Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx www.addic7ed.com 47 00:01:37,139 --> 00:01:39,398 Hey, Oliver, you want to play the Game of Life? 48 00:01:39,500 --> 00:01:41,200 No. You guys play. 49 00:01:41,302 --> 00:01:43,368 I already lost the real version. 50 00:01:44,572 --> 00:01:46,004 What's wrong? 51 00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:48,173 My dream of getting into Harvard is officially dead. 52 00:01:48,275 --> 00:01:50,375 I can't dance, so I plan on padding my résumé 53 00:01:50,444 --> 00:01:52,044 with some BS volunteer work. 54 00:01:52,146 --> 00:01:53,312 That sounds like a good idea. 55 00:01:53,414 --> 00:01:55,013 But look at me. 56 00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:56,849 I can't plant trees, 57 00:01:56,951 --> 00:01:59,852 deliver meals, build habitats. 58 00:01:59,954 --> 00:02:01,019 All I can do is sit. 59 00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:02,387 My life is over. 60 00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:03,889 You have lots going for you. 61 00:02:03,991 --> 00:02:05,958 You're ambitious, your grades are great. 62 00:02:06,026 --> 00:02:07,326 Plus, you're a sophomore. 63 00:02:07,428 --> 00:02:09,228 You have time to build up your résumé. 64 00:02:09,330 --> 00:02:11,330 You want to feel better, look at Taylor. 65 00:02:11,432 --> 00:02:12,397 Yeah, yeah! 66 00:02:12,499 --> 00:02:14,132 She's the one that should be depressed. 67 00:02:14,235 --> 00:02:16,034 She's graduating this year, 68 00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:18,170 and the girl's got nothing going on. 69 00:02:18,239 --> 00:02:20,939 And even if she does somehow go to college, 70 00:02:21,041 --> 00:02:23,375 Mom and Dad gave her a long list of life skills, 71 00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:25,477 and she can't even fill the car with gas. 72 00:02:25,579 --> 00:02:27,512 That's not true. I filled it. 73 00:02:32,953 --> 00:02:34,353 I hate that list! 74 00:02:34,455 --> 00:02:35,754 I'm never gonna survive outside this house 75 00:02:35,856 --> 00:02:38,090 if I can't do anything! 76 00:02:39,526 --> 00:02:40,692 This is what happens 77 00:02:40,794 --> 00:02:43,495 when everyone gets participation trophies. 78 00:02:44,665 --> 00:02:46,365 - Katie. - Hi, Kevin. 79 00:02:46,467 --> 00:02:47,733 What kind of stupid ice sculpture 80 00:02:47,835 --> 00:02:49,401 do I have to order for this dumb party? 81 00:02:49,503 --> 00:02:50,802 Whitney cannot see you like this. 82 00:02:50,905 --> 00:02:52,404 You are too underdressed for the office. 83 00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:54,740 I know she has the place wired with cameras, 84 00:02:54,842 --> 00:02:56,842 but I've got it covered. 85 00:02:56,944 --> 00:03:00,178 When she calls in, I'll be sitting at my desk, 86 00:03:00,281 --> 00:03:01,713 wearing this blazer. 87 00:03:01,815 --> 00:03:04,182 But Whitney will know because... 88 00:03:04,285 --> 00:03:05,317 Hello, Katie. 89 00:03:05,386 --> 00:03:07,386 Hi, Whitney! 90 00:03:07,488 --> 00:03:09,788 Why are you talking into a speakerphone? 91 00:03:11,959 --> 00:03:14,359 You know, I'm not sure how much time you allocate 92 00:03:14,461 --> 00:03:15,694 for getting ready in the morning, 93 00:03:15,796 --> 00:03:17,296 but you might want to double it. 94 00:03:17,398 --> 00:03:20,065 In my defense, I have worked here for more than a year, 95 00:03:20,167 --> 00:03:22,901 and this is the first time that I have laid eyes on you. 96 00:03:23,003 --> 00:03:24,536 I suppose that would explain 97 00:03:24,638 --> 00:03:27,673 Kevin's lack of professional attire, as well. 98 00:03:27,775 --> 00:03:29,541 You bought this for me. 99 00:03:29,643 --> 00:03:31,376 As a razz, Kevin. 100 00:03:31,478 --> 00:03:34,046 Now, I'm in town for only one week, 101 00:03:34,148 --> 00:03:37,716 and I'm trusting you to throw a very special party 102 00:03:37,818 --> 00:03:40,152 for my most important client. 103 00:03:40,254 --> 00:03:41,219 Martha Stewart? 104 00:03:41,322 --> 00:03:44,222 Better. My favorite nephew, Joshua. 105 00:03:44,325 --> 00:03:45,424 Okay. 106 00:03:45,492 --> 00:03:47,459 Well, what kind of ice sculpture would he like? 107 00:03:47,561 --> 00:03:49,895 No, no. Eh, the party's not for Joshua. 108 00:03:50,004 --> 00:03:52,504 He wants to throw a party for Lizzie. 109 00:03:52,599 --> 00:03:53,765 And Lizzie is? 110 00:03:53,867 --> 00:03:55,067 His iguana. 111 00:03:55,169 --> 00:03:57,102 I'm throwing a party for a reptile? 112 00:03:57,204 --> 00:03:58,859 Of course! 113 00:03:59,030 --> 00:04:00,532 I once threw a party 114 00:04:00,532 --> 00:04:03,160 for Bitsy Wellington's favorite purse. 115 00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:04,860 Steely Dan played. It was magical. 116 00:04:05,762 --> 00:04:07,729 Oh, Katie. 117 00:04:09,900 --> 00:04:12,067 I have so much to teach you. 118 00:04:15,606 --> 00:04:17,005 Is this going to end soon? 119 00:04:17,107 --> 00:04:19,774 This is more eye contact than I keep with my husband. 120 00:04:20,844 --> 00:04:22,644 I'm counting on you, Katie. 121 00:04:23,300 --> 00:04:24,264 Come on, you. 122 00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:26,324 As long as you're wearing your ditch-digging clothes, 123 00:04:26,349 --> 00:04:27,358 come to my house. 124 00:04:27,460 --> 00:04:31,963 I have to move my animal cemetery. I'm putting in a pool. 125 00:04:34,254 --> 00:04:37,769 Am I actually throwing a party for a Westport lizard? 126 00:04:37,794 --> 00:04:38,847 Uh-huh. 127 00:04:38,872 --> 00:04:40,805 Kevin! Now! 128 00:04:41,642 --> 00:04:43,976 - Thank you, Kevin. - For what? 129 00:04:44,001 --> 00:04:47,937 For showing me that as bad as my life is, 130 00:04:48,160 --> 00:04:49,460 yours is worse. 131 00:04:58,871 --> 00:05:00,425 And the craziest part is, 132 00:05:00,425 --> 00:05:02,258 it's not even the iguana's birthday. 133 00:05:02,360 --> 00:05:04,727 It's a party, "just because"! 134 00:05:04,829 --> 00:05:06,429 You should quit. 135 00:05:06,531 --> 00:05:08,498 I thought about it. A lot. 136 00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:10,700 I have a whole quitting fantasy worked out in my head. 137 00:05:10,802 --> 00:05:12,502 All I need is a boom box... 138 00:05:12,604 --> 00:05:14,370 - A baseball bat... - And an industrial fan. 139 00:05:14,439 --> 00:05:16,806 Yeah, we've heard this before. Why don't you just do it? 140 00:05:16,908 --> 00:05:18,408 Well, Greg's happy 141 00:05:18,510 --> 00:05:19,976 because now, with my salary, 142 00:05:20,078 --> 00:05:21,811 we're finally able to put some money aside. 143 00:05:21,913 --> 00:05:23,381 Money aside? 144 00:05:23,406 --> 00:05:24,741 Is that something the poors do? 145 00:05:24,741 --> 00:05:26,374 Like family game nights and voting? 146 00:05:26,727 --> 00:05:29,728 And Greg is going through something right now. 147 00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:30,664 What do you mean? 148 00:05:30,664 --> 00:05:32,130 He's started wearing a leather bracelet. 149 00:05:32,232 --> 00:05:33,932 - How fun. - Oh! 150 00:05:34,034 --> 00:05:35,067 - That is fun. - Cool. 151 00:05:35,135 --> 00:05:37,369 I see you nudging each other under the table. 152 00:05:37,471 --> 00:05:38,437 Uh... 153 00:05:38,539 --> 00:05:40,038 No wife should have to go through this. 154 00:05:40,107 --> 00:05:41,173 This is very upsetting, 155 00:05:41,275 --> 00:05:42,741 but maybe he's just trying something new. 156 00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:45,210 Yeah, like when you started saying "Peace out." 157 00:05:45,312 --> 00:05:47,679 You tried it, we ignored it, and then it went away. 158 00:05:47,748 --> 00:05:48,914 And you should do the same thing with Greg. 159 00:05:49,016 --> 00:05:50,742 She's right. You only need to worry 160 00:05:50,767 --> 00:05:51,666 if it starts to escalate, 161 00:05:51,768 --> 00:05:52,733 then you shut it down. 162 00:05:53,937 --> 00:05:54,771 Ugh. Gotta go. 163 00:05:54,771 --> 00:05:55,937 Lizzie's tail fell off, 164 00:05:56,039 --> 00:05:57,732 so we're meeting about ways to hide it for pictures. 165 00:05:57,732 --> 00:05:59,246 Catch you on the flip-side. 166 00:05:59,271 --> 00:06:00,604 - Stop it. - No. 167 00:06:03,609 --> 00:06:05,409 What are we gonna do today? 168 00:06:05,478 --> 00:06:07,444 We're gonna help cheer up Taylor and Oliver. 169 00:06:07,546 --> 00:06:08,879 They're two white kids in America. 170 00:06:08,981 --> 00:06:10,280 What do they have to be sad about? 171 00:06:10,382 --> 00:06:11,615 Stand down, Franklin. 172 00:06:11,717 --> 00:06:13,083 This isn't your podcast. 173 00:06:14,120 --> 00:06:15,152 We need to help them. 174 00:06:15,254 --> 00:06:16,954 What do you think would cheer them up? 175 00:06:16,989 --> 00:06:18,922 - What about we... - Can't be the movie "Soapdish." 176 00:06:19,024 --> 00:06:22,292 Sally Field is an American treasure. 177 00:06:24,897 --> 00:06:26,363 There are other ways, Franklin! 178 00:06:30,970 --> 00:06:32,002 Hey, Taylor. 179 00:06:32,805 --> 00:06:36,173 Franklin does great impressions. You want to see one? 180 00:06:42,548 --> 00:06:43,580 Did you eat? 181 00:06:43,649 --> 00:06:44,581 Did you eat? 182 00:06:44,683 --> 00:06:46,617 Did you eat? Did you eat? 183 00:06:48,921 --> 00:06:50,287 Who is that supposed to be? 184 00:06:50,356 --> 00:06:52,222 - My Aunt Linda. - That is spot-on. 185 00:06:52,291 --> 00:06:53,924 It's like she's in the room. 186 00:06:54,026 --> 00:06:55,425 Do your Uncle Al next. 187 00:06:55,494 --> 00:06:56,393 Linda! 188 00:06:56,495 --> 00:06:58,795 The help is stealing from us! 189 00:07:12,945 --> 00:07:14,745 My name is Inigo Montoya. 190 00:07:14,847 --> 00:07:16,913 You killed my father. Prepare to die. 191 00:07:17,016 --> 00:07:18,415 Inconceivable. 192 00:07:18,517 --> 00:07:20,083 You keep using that word. 193 00:07:20,152 --> 00:07:22,953 I do not think it means what you think it means. 194 00:07:24,823 --> 00:07:25,856 Bleh! Bleh! 195 00:07:28,727 --> 00:07:30,460 Bleh! Bleh! 196 00:07:33,799 --> 00:07:35,399 Nothing worked. 197 00:07:35,501 --> 00:07:36,767 What do we do now? 198 00:07:36,869 --> 00:07:38,502 When my mom had a bad case of the sadsies, 199 00:07:38,604 --> 00:07:39,703 the only thing that helped her 200 00:07:39,805 --> 00:07:41,338 was talking to the counselor at her church. 201 00:07:41,407 --> 00:07:43,240 Of course. Good idea, Franklin. 202 00:07:43,309 --> 00:07:44,841 Time to get God involved. 203 00:07:44,943 --> 00:07:47,277 Religion can be very helpful when used as a tool, 204 00:07:47,346 --> 00:07:48,645 but when it's a crutch... 205 00:07:48,747 --> 00:07:50,547 Not your podcast, Franklin. 206 00:07:52,551 --> 00:07:54,117 This is the most ridiculous party 207 00:07:54,219 --> 00:07:55,252 I've ever had to throw. 208 00:07:55,321 --> 00:07:57,554 I don't know how much longer I can do this. 209 00:07:57,656 --> 00:07:59,289 You are the strongest person I know, 210 00:07:59,358 --> 00:08:01,525 and not just because you always open jars for me. 211 00:08:01,965 --> 00:08:02,930 Emotionally. 212 00:08:03,033 --> 00:08:05,667 You put up with a lot, but remember, 213 00:08:05,769 --> 00:08:07,502 you're really good at what you do, 214 00:08:07,537 --> 00:08:09,003 and everyone in town knows it. 215 00:08:10,040 --> 00:08:11,673 Thank you. 216 00:08:11,775 --> 00:08:14,108 I appreciate tha... 217 00:08:15,512 --> 00:08:18,346 Are you wearing bacon socks? 218 00:08:18,448 --> 00:08:20,415 No. 219 00:08:20,517 --> 00:08:21,683 Okay. 220 00:08:21,785 --> 00:08:23,117 I let the bracelet go. 221 00:08:23,194 --> 00:08:24,727 I didn't say a word... 222 00:08:24,821 --> 00:08:25,787 to your face. 223 00:08:25,889 --> 00:08:27,155 But now it's escalating, 224 00:08:27,257 --> 00:08:28,923 and I know you don't want to talk about it, 225 00:08:29,025 --> 00:08:29,957 but you and I both know 226 00:08:30,060 --> 00:08:32,727 that there is bacon on your socks. 227 00:08:32,796 --> 00:08:34,128 What the hell is going on? 228 00:08:34,230 --> 00:08:36,330 I don't know. 229 00:08:36,433 --> 00:08:38,743 It kind of started after Professor Casey passed away. 230 00:08:38,768 --> 00:08:40,768 He got tenure the same week that I was hired. 231 00:08:40,870 --> 00:08:41,835 For the last 10 years, 232 00:08:41,904 --> 00:08:43,999 I've watched him do the exact same thing 233 00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:45,924 until he died at his desk, 234 00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:47,719 and now I have tenure. 235 00:08:47,788 --> 00:08:50,488 And I don't know, it got me thinking... 236 00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:52,064 maybe I need to mix things up. 237 00:08:52,166 --> 00:08:53,398 Figure out who I really am. 238 00:08:53,500 --> 00:08:55,700 Am I bracelet guy? Funny-sock guy? 239 00:08:55,803 --> 00:08:58,136 Carry-around-a-coin-that-I-flip guy? 240 00:08:58,238 --> 00:08:59,237 Honey. 241 00:09:00,833 --> 00:09:03,701 I support any guy you want to be. 242 00:09:05,528 --> 00:09:06,545 Thanks, sweetie. 243 00:09:06,647 --> 00:09:08,547 But if you start wearing those glasses 244 00:09:08,649 --> 00:09:10,682 that are transitional from light to dark, 245 00:09:10,784 --> 00:09:12,117 it's gonna be a problem. 246 00:09:12,219 --> 00:09:13,785 - Okay. - Yeah. 247 00:09:25,499 --> 00:09:28,200 Great party, Katie. 248 00:09:28,302 --> 00:09:29,568 I sampled the stir fry. 249 00:09:29,670 --> 00:09:30,802 It's delicious. 250 00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:32,871 Yeah. Those are crickets. 251 00:09:32,940 --> 00:09:35,101 That explains why the server was laughing. 252 00:09:35,147 --> 00:09:36,640 - Mm-hmm. - Katie, right? 253 00:09:36,695 --> 00:09:38,743 - Mm-hmm. - My Joshua just told me 254 00:09:38,812 --> 00:09:41,613 this is the best party Lizzie has ever had. 255 00:09:41,715 --> 00:09:43,515 Thank you. I am so glad. 256 00:09:43,617 --> 00:09:46,184 Whitney said she worked hard on every little detail. 257 00:09:46,209 --> 00:09:48,396 You are so lucky to have a boss like her 258 00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:49,721 who does all the heavy lifting. 259 00:09:49,823 --> 00:09:51,223 "Heavy lifting"? 260 00:09:51,325 --> 00:09:52,791 But she's not even here. 261 00:09:52,893 --> 00:09:54,259 That's because she's such a star. 262 00:09:54,328 --> 00:09:56,962 She knew she would distract from Lizzie on her big day. 263 00:09:57,064 --> 00:09:59,030 - Hey, Gayle. - Oh, my God. Hi. 264 00:09:59,133 --> 00:10:01,766 I guess a snake would distract from a lizard. 265 00:10:01,869 --> 00:10:03,034 Can you believe her? 266 00:10:03,137 --> 00:10:05,470 Whitney has me plan this absurd party... 267 00:10:05,572 --> 00:10:07,405 which I nailed, by the way... 268 00:10:07,508 --> 00:10:09,407 and then steals my thank-you. 269 00:10:09,510 --> 00:10:11,643 I can't wait 'til she goes back to New York. 270 00:10:11,745 --> 00:10:13,245 She's not going back. 271 00:10:13,347 --> 00:10:15,413 - She's staying in Westport. - What? 272 00:10:15,516 --> 00:10:17,716 Yeah, I heard her on the phone while I was giving her a spray tan. 273 00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:20,252 I can't do this anymore. 274 00:10:20,354 --> 00:10:21,386 The money's great, 275 00:10:21,488 --> 00:10:23,421 but you can't put a price on my dignity. 276 00:10:23,524 --> 00:10:24,756 Mm. 277 00:10:24,858 --> 00:10:27,259 The satay is delicious. 278 00:10:28,929 --> 00:10:30,395 Not for humans, right? 279 00:10:30,497 --> 00:10:31,663 Right. 280 00:10:38,205 --> 00:10:41,072 Whitney, I worked my ass off 281 00:10:41,175 --> 00:10:42,407 putting that party together. 282 00:10:42,509 --> 00:10:43,708 It's bad enough that I'm... 283 00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:45,810 Not getting the recognition you deserve. 284 00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:48,280 That's why I'm giving you a promotion, 285 00:10:48,397 --> 00:10:51,364 which comes with a very nice raise. 286 00:10:51,451 --> 00:10:53,652 If you think a raise and a promotion 287 00:10:53,720 --> 00:10:56,188 are enough to keep me around... 288 00:10:56,290 --> 00:10:57,689 you're right. 289 00:10:57,791 --> 00:11:00,525 Turns out my dignity does have a price. 290 00:11:00,627 --> 00:11:01,993 Now, if you'll excuse me, 291 00:11:02,062 --> 00:11:04,396 I have someone coming to give me a foot massage. 292 00:11:04,498 --> 00:11:06,898 Oh, the masseuse cancelled. I thought I told you. 293 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:08,433 You did. 294 00:11:08,535 --> 00:11:10,135 Now go get the lotion, Kevin. 295 00:11:21,539 --> 00:11:23,414 So, Whitney just took all the credit for the party? 296 00:11:23,476 --> 00:11:24,599 Yes. 297 00:11:24,701 --> 00:11:26,768 I should have grabbed a boom box, 298 00:11:26,837 --> 00:11:30,405 a baseball bat, and an industrial fan and quit. 299 00:11:30,507 --> 00:11:32,706 Now I'm just like you. 300 00:11:32,769 --> 00:11:33,869 How so? 301 00:11:33,937 --> 00:11:36,338 You accepted tenure, now you're stuck at your job. 302 00:11:36,406 --> 00:11:39,475 I took the promotion, and now I'm stuck at mine. 303 00:11:40,259 --> 00:11:41,591 So what if I hate my job? 304 00:11:41,678 --> 00:11:42,711 Everyone does. 305 00:11:42,819 --> 00:11:45,447 I got to get to bed. 306 00:11:45,516 --> 00:11:47,482 I have to oversee all the events this week, 307 00:11:47,584 --> 00:11:50,318 starting with tomorrow's "Barbecue and Botox" party. 308 00:11:50,420 --> 00:11:51,453 Ooh. 309 00:11:57,461 --> 00:11:58,360 I can't. 310 00:12:02,666 --> 00:12:05,834 You must be Taylor and Oliver. 311 00:12:05,936 --> 00:12:08,737 Franklin tells me you've been going through something. 312 00:12:08,805 --> 00:12:11,106 Yeah, it's... it's easy to feel lost 313 00:12:11,208 --> 00:12:12,340 in this big world, 314 00:12:12,442 --> 00:12:14,843 but it's important to remember... 315 00:12:14,945 --> 00:12:16,485 you're not alone. 316 00:12:16,613 --> 00:12:18,079 Who are you? 317 00:12:18,181 --> 00:12:19,280 This is Eve. 318 00:12:19,349 --> 00:12:21,116 She's an elder at the church my mom goes to. 319 00:12:21,218 --> 00:12:22,584 She helped my mom a lot. 320 00:12:22,686 --> 00:12:23,852 She blinks now. 321 00:12:23,954 --> 00:12:24,986 I think we're good. 322 00:12:25,055 --> 00:12:26,755 I remember being a pretty young girl, 323 00:12:26,857 --> 00:12:28,523 my whole life ahead of me. 324 00:12:28,592 --> 00:12:30,392 But I always felt unprepared 325 00:12:30,494 --> 00:12:32,761 and ill-equipped for life on my own. 326 00:12:32,863 --> 00:12:34,562 - You did? - Oh, yes. 327 00:12:34,665 --> 00:12:37,265 I was overwhelmed and lost. 328 00:12:37,367 --> 00:12:39,501 Me, too. So, what changed? 329 00:12:39,603 --> 00:12:41,803 I joined the church, met Bob. 330 00:12:41,905 --> 00:12:42,837 Who's Bob? 331 00:12:42,939 --> 00:12:44,906 Bob owns the compound we all live on. 332 00:12:45,008 --> 00:12:46,808 He's our leader and our husband. 333 00:12:46,910 --> 00:12:48,743 - Our husband? - Yes. 334 00:12:48,812 --> 00:12:50,979 Bob must take many wives so he has enough people 335 00:12:51,081 --> 00:12:52,580 to take care of him at the end of days. 336 00:12:52,616 --> 00:12:55,150 Then he'll reunite us with the great leader 337 00:12:55,252 --> 00:12:57,886 and deliver us to our home planet. 338 00:12:59,356 --> 00:13:01,556 Your mom doesn't go to a church. 339 00:13:01,658 --> 00:13:02,791 She's in a cult. 340 00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:06,127 Ohhh. 341 00:13:06,229 --> 00:13:08,930 That's why Grandpa keeps trying to kidnap us. 342 00:13:09,032 --> 00:13:10,498 Anna-Kat will walk you out. 343 00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:12,701 - Bob be with you. - And also with you. 344 00:13:12,803 --> 00:13:15,336 Oh. 345 00:13:16,673 --> 00:13:18,873 Oh, my God. That was so inspiring. 346 00:13:18,942 --> 00:13:20,475 I feel like you're getting the wrong message. 347 00:13:20,577 --> 00:13:21,676 No. 348 00:13:21,778 --> 00:13:23,445 You know how my life is screwed up compared to yours? 349 00:13:23,547 --> 00:13:25,146 Well, compared to a grown woman 350 00:13:25,248 --> 00:13:26,848 with pigtails who's in a cult, 351 00:13:26,917 --> 00:13:27,882 I'm killing it. 352 00:13:27,951 --> 00:13:28,850 Ha. 353 00:13:36,693 --> 00:13:38,460 Thank you so much. 354 00:13:38,562 --> 00:13:40,361 The genius... 355 00:13:40,430 --> 00:13:43,098 is in the minutiae... 356 00:13:43,200 --> 00:13:45,633 ...or whatever that phrase is. 357 00:13:48,036 --> 00:13:49,027 Katie, 358 00:13:49,027 --> 00:13:51,728 everything is fantastic. 359 00:13:51,830 --> 00:13:54,163 Well, I'd take a bow, but you've already done that. 360 00:13:54,265 --> 00:13:55,398 Yes. 361 00:13:55,500 --> 00:13:58,301 There's just one thing that's bothering me. 362 00:13:58,403 --> 00:13:59,669 Ugh. The bluegrass band? 363 00:13:59,771 --> 00:14:01,003 I know. It's a lot of harmonica. 364 00:14:01,106 --> 00:14:02,438 No, no. They're great. 365 00:14:02,540 --> 00:14:04,452 Everything's great. It's... 366 00:14:05,710 --> 00:14:06,913 It's just... 367 00:14:07,163 --> 00:14:08,498 this. 368 00:14:08,865 --> 00:14:10,798 - Me? - Eh... 369 00:14:10,900 --> 00:14:13,034 Katie, as VP of Events, 370 00:14:13,136 --> 00:14:15,303 you are front and center of this company. 371 00:14:15,405 --> 00:14:18,806 You need to... look the part. I... 372 00:14:18,875 --> 00:14:21,309 If there's just something we could do 373 00:14:21,411 --> 00:14:23,845 about the frowny parts of your face. 374 00:14:23,913 --> 00:14:25,613 Kevin! 375 00:14:25,715 --> 00:14:27,615 Get in here. I need another pair of hands. 376 00:14:28,785 --> 00:14:29,851 I'm sorry. 377 00:14:29,953 --> 00:14:30,918 I can't lose this job. 378 00:14:31,020 --> 00:14:33,488 I owe $67,000 in student loans. 379 00:14:33,590 --> 00:14:34,922 Philosophy major. 380 00:14:35,024 --> 00:14:38,292 You can't Botox away being an idiot, Kevin. 381 00:14:38,394 --> 00:14:40,128 Oh, God. 382 00:14:44,168 --> 00:14:47,570 Oliver, I'm sorry I haven't been able to help you. 383 00:14:47,595 --> 00:14:48,560 I appreciate it, 384 00:14:48,662 --> 00:14:50,863 but there's nothing anyone can do. 385 00:14:52,967 --> 00:14:55,234 Well, I talked to Dr. Ellie... 386 00:14:55,336 --> 00:14:58,504 who I now call Eleanor since I'm not in her class anymore. 387 00:14:58,606 --> 00:15:00,639 She doesn't care for it... 388 00:15:00,741 --> 00:15:02,808 and she gave me some resources that might help. 389 00:15:04,345 --> 00:15:06,879 "Are You Being Bullied?" 390 00:15:06,981 --> 00:15:08,146 Nope. 391 00:15:10,395 --> 00:15:12,184 "How to Come Out to Your Family"? 392 00:15:12,286 --> 00:15:13,318 Mm? 393 00:15:13,420 --> 00:15:14,486 No. 394 00:15:14,939 --> 00:15:16,606 "My Changing Body"? 395 00:15:16,708 --> 00:15:18,674 Too late. 396 00:15:21,446 --> 00:15:23,713 "Teen Help Line"? Really? 397 00:15:23,815 --> 00:15:25,314 Dr. Ellie says it's a hotline 398 00:15:25,416 --> 00:15:28,050 where teens can talk to other teens about their problems. 399 00:15:28,152 --> 00:15:29,470 Not interested. 400 00:15:29,470 --> 00:15:31,036 Well, I certainly won't be the last girl 401 00:15:31,171 --> 00:15:32,838 who thinks she can fix you. 402 00:15:32,940 --> 00:15:35,040 I don't know the others, but I pity them already. 403 00:15:44,084 --> 00:15:45,384 Ah, Katie. 404 00:15:45,486 --> 00:15:47,486 Tomorrow's party is a boat christening, 405 00:15:47,588 --> 00:15:49,721 and I need some noisy sea lions 406 00:15:49,823 --> 00:15:51,657 removed from the marina... 407 00:15:51,759 --> 00:15:52,724 humanely. 408 00:15:52,826 --> 00:15:55,093 I'm kidding. Do it any way you can. 409 00:15:55,162 --> 00:15:56,762 I'm on it, Whitney. 410 00:16:03,337 --> 00:16:04,603 What are you smiling about? 411 00:16:06,073 --> 00:16:08,273 This is why you need Botox. See? 412 00:16:08,375 --> 00:16:11,710 Your face should not have this much expression. 413 00:16:13,013 --> 00:16:14,613 What are you doing here? 414 00:16:14,715 --> 00:16:15,714 I wanted to thank you. 415 00:16:15,816 --> 00:16:17,015 What you said last night helped me realize 416 00:16:17,117 --> 00:16:19,217 - something very important. - What did I say? 417 00:16:19,320 --> 00:16:21,253 You said that hating your job was no big deal 418 00:16:21,355 --> 00:16:23,121 because everyone hates their job, but you know what? 419 00:16:23,190 --> 00:16:25,390 I don't. I actually love teaching. 420 00:16:25,492 --> 00:16:27,726 I am so happy for you. 421 00:16:27,828 --> 00:16:29,278 Does this mean you'll stop wearing the... 422 00:16:29,302 --> 00:16:30,355 Not now. 423 00:16:30,380 --> 00:16:32,264 You supported me when I said I wanted to mix things up, 424 00:16:32,366 --> 00:16:33,732 so guess what I did? 425 00:16:33,834 --> 00:16:35,767 I taught my class outside today, 426 00:16:35,869 --> 00:16:36,902 and my students loved it. 427 00:16:37,004 --> 00:16:38,637 That sounds so fun. 428 00:16:38,706 --> 00:16:41,139 I finally realized the guy I am. 429 00:16:41,241 --> 00:16:43,775 I'm the guy who loves his job and loves his family 430 00:16:43,877 --> 00:16:47,879 and wants his wife to be as happy as he is. 431 00:16:50,784 --> 00:16:52,084 What about the extra money? 432 00:16:52,186 --> 00:16:53,218 We'll make it work. 433 00:16:56,023 --> 00:16:56,955 Katie. 434 00:16:57,057 --> 00:16:59,424 I need you at the marina right now. 435 00:17:03,530 --> 00:17:05,263 Sorry, Whitney. 436 00:17:05,366 --> 00:17:06,932 Move your own damn sea lions! 437 00:17:09,236 --> 00:17:10,168 Hit it, Greg! 438 00:17:10,237 --> 00:17:11,436 ♪ Ow ♪ 439 00:17:13,507 --> 00:17:16,742 ♪ Yeah ♪ 440 00:17:16,844 --> 00:17:20,646 ♪ I'm your ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-cherry bomb ♪ 441 00:17:20,748 --> 00:17:23,749 ♪ Hello, world, I'm your wild girl ♪ 442 00:17:23,851 --> 00:17:27,152 ♪ I'm your ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-cherry bomb ♪ 443 00:17:27,254 --> 00:17:29,488 ♪ Cherry bomb ♪ 444 00:17:29,590 --> 00:17:31,156 ♪ Cherry bomb ♪ 445 00:17:31,258 --> 00:17:34,459 ♪ Cherry bomb ♪ 446 00:17:34,561 --> 00:17:36,561 I quit! 447 00:17:38,832 --> 00:17:40,232 It's just how I imagined it. 448 00:17:43,070 --> 00:17:44,403 With Katie gone, 449 00:17:44,505 --> 00:17:45,837 maybe it's time for you to step up. 450 00:17:45,906 --> 00:17:47,305 You mean I can have her job? 451 00:17:47,408 --> 00:17:50,042 No, I mean fix the ice sculpture. 452 00:17:50,144 --> 00:17:51,977 - But... - Fix it, Kevin. 453 00:17:52,079 --> 00:17:54,112 Move it. 454 00:18:01,855 --> 00:18:05,357 Hey, you look like you're in a good mood for a change. 455 00:18:05,459 --> 00:18:06,892 Did one of your IPOs make a split 456 00:18:06,994 --> 00:18:08,260 into dividends and then... 457 00:18:08,362 --> 00:18:09,394 Eh, forget it. 458 00:18:09,496 --> 00:18:10,996 I don't know how money works. 459 00:18:11,098 --> 00:18:13,365 No, I just got off the phone with Teen Help Line. 460 00:18:13,434 --> 00:18:14,399 You called? 461 00:18:14,501 --> 00:18:15,467 Did they help you with your problem? 462 00:18:15,569 --> 00:18:16,568 They sure did. 463 00:18:16,670 --> 00:18:18,203 I'm proud of you. 464 00:18:18,305 --> 00:18:21,139 It's hard to be vulnerable, reach out for help. 465 00:18:22,342 --> 00:18:25,043 And, of course, it's none of the stuff I was just saying. 466 00:18:25,145 --> 00:18:26,545 What is going on, Oliver? 467 00:18:26,647 --> 00:18:28,680 I just had a very interesting conversation 468 00:18:28,782 --> 00:18:30,182 with one of the counselors. 469 00:18:30,284 --> 00:18:32,250 He said a lot of the people who volunteer there 470 00:18:32,352 --> 00:18:35,420 go on to top colleges, including Harvard. 471 00:18:35,522 --> 00:18:38,523 But most importantly, you'd be helping people. 472 00:18:38,625 --> 00:18:41,326 Anna-Kat, do you have a pamphlet for hearing aids? 473 00:18:41,395 --> 00:18:42,928 Dad heard "helping people" 474 00:18:43,030 --> 00:18:45,764 when I clearly said "Harvard." 475 00:18:45,866 --> 00:18:48,200 Harvard. 476 00:18:49,069 --> 00:18:50,869 And all I have to do is apply and get in. 477 00:18:50,971 --> 00:18:53,271 And get this... it's all done sitting down. 478 00:18:53,373 --> 00:18:55,273 Look at you, Anna-Kat. 479 00:18:55,375 --> 00:18:57,242 You thought you couldn't cheer us up, but you did. 480 00:18:57,344 --> 00:18:59,377 But there's someone else who still needs my help. 481 00:18:59,480 --> 00:19:01,713 Let's talk about the bracelet, Greg. 482 00:19:04,084 --> 00:19:05,450 Yeah. 483 00:19:06,720 --> 00:19:09,087 Goodbye, fully functioning can opener. 484 00:19:09,189 --> 00:19:11,022 We can't afford you anymore. 485 00:19:11,125 --> 00:19:13,225 Goodbye, hand-crank pasta press. 486 00:19:13,293 --> 00:19:14,893 I knew you were just gonna collect dust in the basement, 487 00:19:14,995 --> 00:19:16,294 but the idea of you was enough. 488 00:19:17,698 --> 00:19:19,865 Goodbye, cactus-shaped margarita glasses. 489 00:19:19,967 --> 00:19:21,500 The fiesta's over. 490 00:19:21,602 --> 00:19:22,734 Mm. 491 00:19:22,836 --> 00:19:25,971 Goodbye, banana hanger. 492 00:19:26,073 --> 00:19:28,073 And hello again, 493 00:19:28,175 --> 00:19:31,843 ceramic bowl where fruit goes to die. 494 00:19:33,180 --> 00:19:34,446 Any regrets about quitting? 495 00:19:34,548 --> 00:19:35,680 Hell, no. 496 00:19:35,783 --> 00:19:37,749 I know there's something better for me out there. 497 00:19:37,851 --> 00:19:39,584 I want to find what you have... 498 00:19:39,686 --> 00:19:43,088 a job that inspires me and a smokin'-hot wife. 499 00:19:48,671 --> 00:19:50,209 Are you sure this is a good idea? 500 00:19:50,249 --> 00:19:52,741 Are you kidding? This is a great idea. 501 00:19:52,812 --> 00:19:55,319 If your students thought having class outside was cool, 502 00:19:55,319 --> 00:19:56,658 they're gonna love this. 503 00:19:56,717 --> 00:19:59,334 Well, I am trying to do new things. 504 00:19:59,397 --> 00:20:01,987 Trust me, it's gonna be awesome. 505 00:20:02,055 --> 00:20:04,277 Okay. You ready? Let's hear it. 506 00:20:04,324 --> 00:20:07,992 Four score and seven years ago, 507 00:20:08,095 --> 00:20:11,129 our fathers brought forth on this continent 508 00:20:11,231 --> 00:20:14,966 a new nation, conceived in liberty 509 00:20:15,197 --> 00:20:17,231 and dedicated to the proposition 510 00:20:17,333 --> 00:20:20,567 that all men are created equal. 511 00:20:20,669 --> 00:20:21,568 This is amazing. 512 00:20:21,670 --> 00:20:23,337 It's like history come to life. 513 00:20:23,405 --> 00:20:27,298 Now we are engaged in a great Civil War. 514 00:20:27,518 --> 00:20:29,251 Abe? 515 00:20:29,386 --> 00:20:30,986 Abe, honey? 516 00:20:31,088 --> 00:20:32,648 Yes, Mary Todd? 517 00:20:32,648 --> 00:20:34,281 Do you want to wrap this speech up? 518 00:20:34,383 --> 00:20:36,116 We're going to be late to the theater. 519 00:20:37,185 --> 00:20:39,085 I got us seats in the balcony. 520 00:20:39,187 --> 00:20:40,320 That's not funny. 521 00:20:40,422 --> 00:20:41,988 Come on. 522 00:20:42,090 --> 00:20:43,890 Give us a kiss. 523 00:20:43,992 --> 00:20:45,125 No. 524 00:20:45,227 --> 00:20:46,893 No! 525 00:20:46,995 --> 00:20:48,528 Mwah, mwah! 526 00:20:50,198 --> 00:20:51,249 No! 527 00:21:04,046 --> 00:21:06,046 The plugs in your arms and head are gone. 528 00:21:06,148 --> 00:21:07,781 Morpheus? 529 00:21:07,849 --> 00:21:09,015 Your appearance now 530 00:21:09,084 --> 00:21:11,551 is what we call residual self image. 531 00:21:11,620 --> 00:21:15,187 It's a mental projection of your digital self.