1
00:00:03,734 --> 00:00:05,433
Anna-Kat, are you done
with your breakfast?
2
00:00:06,737 --> 00:00:07,669
Anna-Kat!
3
00:00:07,738 --> 00:00:09,504
Did you know the Wildflower Girls Camp
4
00:00:09,573 --> 00:00:12,474
has a ropes course, canoeing,
and horseback riding?
5
00:00:13,470 --> 00:00:15,303
Yeah... kids change.
6
00:00:15,512 --> 00:00:17,412
The packing list says
that fifth graders and above
7
00:00:17,481 --> 00:00:19,180
need to bring feminine hygiene products,
8
00:00:19,249 --> 00:00:21,051
which means this could be my year!
9
00:00:25,638 --> 00:00:26,669
Can you believe it?
10
00:00:26,763 --> 00:00:28,656
Anna-Kat is going to sleepaway camp!
11
00:00:28,759 --> 00:00:30,583
We have taken her from being a weirdo
12
00:00:30,677 --> 00:00:32,227
to a strong, confident girl.
13
00:00:32,295 --> 00:00:34,929
She just gave her dad
a high-five about menstruating.
14
00:00:34,998 --> 00:00:37,298
She still has
a little weirdo left in her.
15
00:00:37,401 --> 00:00:38,733
Kate. Donks.
16
00:00:40,003 --> 00:00:42,421
Read the latest draft
of the book. Love it.
17
00:00:42,446 --> 00:00:45,440
The ending still needs a little work,
so meet me in our office.
18
00:00:45,509 --> 00:00:47,409
Uh, we might be working late,
so I brought you
19
00:00:47,477 --> 00:00:49,711
some of those canned
protein drinks for old women.
20
00:00:51,515 --> 00:00:53,181
This is the fifth conclusion
he's shot down.
21
00:00:53,250 --> 00:00:54,949
I keep trying to be poignant,
but I guess
22
00:00:55,018 --> 00:00:57,018
I'll just give him
what he wants... a happy ending.
23
00:00:58,288 --> 00:01:00,106
- Thanks for not saying anything.
- Mm-hmm.
24
00:01:00,197 --> 00:01:01,676
Mom!
25
00:01:01,758 --> 00:01:04,059
The list for graduation
came out, and I'm not on it!
26
00:01:04,127 --> 00:01:06,127
It's only two days away! What was it?
27
00:01:06,196 --> 00:01:07,128
You didn't turn a paper in?
28
00:01:07,230 --> 00:01:08,430
You forgot to fill out some forms?
29
00:01:08,498 --> 00:01:10,799
No, my freshman year, I gave you
a library book to return,
30
00:01:10,901 --> 00:01:12,634
and you never did.
31
00:01:12,736 --> 00:01:13,802
That sounds about right.
32
00:01:13,870 --> 00:01:15,603
I'm not going to graduate
because of you!
33
00:01:15,672 --> 00:01:17,105
Okay, calm down. I'm your mother.
34
00:01:17,174 --> 00:01:18,273
I'll take care of it.
35
00:01:18,375 --> 00:01:20,208
Okay. Thank you.
36
00:01:20,277 --> 00:01:23,311
And, Taylor, a little gratitude
would be nice.
37
00:01:23,413 --> 00:01:24,579
I literally just said "Thank you."
38
00:01:24,681 --> 00:01:26,014
To be fair, I wasn't listening.
39
00:01:27,584 --> 00:01:30,485
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
40
00:01:33,890 --> 00:01:35,256
I like all your endings,
41
00:01:35,358 --> 00:01:37,425
but they're not making me
want to hit "Subscribe."
42
00:01:37,527 --> 00:01:38,827
I don't know what else
to say about your life.
43
00:01:38,929 --> 00:01:40,695
You're only 25 years old.
44
00:01:40,797 --> 00:01:42,464
You shoot your friends
with paintball guns,
45
00:01:42,566 --> 00:01:44,365
then buy them fast-food franchises.
46
00:01:45,469 --> 00:01:47,068
I do do that.
47
00:01:47,170 --> 00:01:49,104
I still think we need a great ending,
48
00:01:49,206 --> 00:01:52,307
and you and I are not gonna rest
until we come up with one.
49
00:01:57,180 --> 00:01:58,847
That's smart.
50
00:01:58,949 --> 00:02:00,615
I need my lady sharp tonight.
51
00:02:04,688 --> 00:02:07,088
Next year's gonna be amazing.
We'll be juniors.
52
00:02:07,190 --> 00:02:08,623
We can drive ourselves to school.
53
00:02:08,725 --> 00:02:11,159
We'll be in that
hot Spanish teacher's class.
54
00:02:11,261 --> 00:02:13,394
Señora Campos!
55
00:02:13,497 --> 00:02:15,763
So, me and Kelly, we didn't know
if we were gonna stay together
56
00:02:15,866 --> 00:02:17,298
while she's at Penn and I'm at Tufts.
57
00:02:17,400 --> 00:02:18,967
But then we took that online quiz
58
00:02:19,069 --> 00:02:21,202
"Are You and Your High School
Sweetheart Built to Last?"
59
00:02:21,304 --> 00:02:22,937
and it looks like we totally are.
60
00:02:23,039 --> 00:02:24,672
Well, Trip and I
don't have to worry about that.
61
00:02:24,774 --> 00:02:26,574
Yeah, she's staying in town
taking a gap year,
62
00:02:26,676 --> 00:02:27,842
and I'm going to college.
63
00:02:27,944 --> 00:02:29,110
I'm just not sure where to apply yet.
64
00:02:29,212 --> 00:02:30,912
You had to apply months ago.
65
00:02:31,014 --> 00:02:32,280
Oh.
66
00:02:32,382 --> 00:02:34,616
I guess I'm taking a gap year, too.
67
00:02:34,718 --> 00:02:36,251
We should take the quiz anyway.
68
00:02:36,353 --> 00:02:37,352
Just for fun.
69
00:02:37,454 --> 00:02:38,620
Well, yeah, even if it's just for fun,
70
00:02:38,722 --> 00:02:40,221
I'm supposed to
get extra time to take it.
71
00:02:40,323 --> 00:02:41,389
It's in my chart.
72
00:02:44,494 --> 00:02:46,394
What do you mean, you don't
want me to go to camp?!
73
00:02:46,496 --> 00:02:47,795
It looks so fun!
74
00:02:47,898 --> 00:02:50,598
There's no more dangerous place
in the world than summer camp.
75
00:02:50,700 --> 00:02:52,534
Except maybe Olive Garden.
76
00:02:52,636 --> 00:02:55,136
Those unlimited breadsticks
are dangerous to my waistline.
77
00:02:55,238 --> 00:02:56,604
How could it be dangerous?
78
00:02:56,706 --> 00:02:58,373
It's just super-fun activities.
79
00:02:58,475 --> 00:02:59,841
They have dodgeball.
80
00:02:59,943 --> 00:03:00,975
More like death-ball.
81
00:03:01,077 --> 00:03:02,877
- Water skiing.
- Water-dying.
82
00:03:02,979 --> 00:03:03,912
Arts and crafts.
83
00:03:04,014 --> 00:03:06,080
Arts and dying. I can do this all day.
84
00:03:06,183 --> 00:03:07,682
Wow.
85
00:03:07,783 --> 00:03:10,584
I was so excited, but I hadn't
really considered all the...
86
00:03:10,687 --> 00:03:12,987
All the dying? I know. No one does.
87
00:03:13,089 --> 00:03:15,490
I'm sorry, but I'm gonna
have to say no to this idea.
88
00:03:15,592 --> 00:03:17,392
I'm glad I talked to you before I went.
89
00:03:17,494 --> 00:03:19,093
I probably saved your life today.
90
00:03:22,766 --> 00:03:24,499
Slow down, punks.
91
00:03:24,601 --> 00:03:27,602
Katie! Just the person I wanted to see.
92
00:03:27,704 --> 00:03:30,538
Ablin, for the thousandth time,
I don't plan parties anymore,
93
00:03:30,640 --> 00:03:32,140
so I'm not going to do
your strange wedding.
94
00:03:32,242 --> 00:03:33,608
It's not strange to wear a kilt.
95
00:03:33,710 --> 00:03:34,642
You're not Scottish.
96
00:03:34,744 --> 00:03:36,211
I get sweaty when I get nervous,
97
00:03:36,313 --> 00:03:37,845
and it's the only
socially acceptable way
98
00:03:37,914 --> 00:03:39,881
for me to ventilate my nethers.
99
00:03:39,950 --> 00:03:40,915
Ugh.
100
00:03:46,623 --> 00:03:47,789
Excuse me.
101
00:03:49,926 --> 00:03:51,859
Tara. What are you doing here?
102
00:03:51,962 --> 00:03:53,595
I volunteer two afternoons a week.
103
00:03:53,697 --> 00:03:56,297
Because I care about
giving back to the community.
104
00:03:56,399 --> 00:03:58,233
What do you want, Katie?
105
00:03:58,301 --> 00:04:01,502
I have to pay Taylor's library
fine so that she can graduate.
106
00:04:05,542 --> 00:04:07,508
The book is four years late.
107
00:04:07,611 --> 00:04:09,510
Paying a fine isn't
even an option anymore.
108
00:04:09,613 --> 00:04:11,246
Just says "See administrator."
109
00:04:11,348 --> 00:04:12,647
Tara, can you just help me out?
110
00:04:12,716 --> 00:04:14,182
I promise I'll stop bringing the class
111
00:04:14,284 --> 00:04:16,484
vegan cupcakes that are
not even remotely vegan.
112
00:04:16,586 --> 00:04:17,819
You what?
113
00:04:17,887 --> 00:04:20,088
You can't bake without eggs.
Everyone knows that.
114
00:04:20,190 --> 00:04:22,390
Even you stupid vegans.
115
00:04:22,459 --> 00:04:25,493
Even if I wanted to help you...
which I don't...
116
00:04:25,595 --> 00:04:26,628
I can't.
117
00:04:26,730 --> 00:04:28,463
It's a computer thing,
and I don't have the code
118
00:04:28,565 --> 00:04:29,797
to override the system.
119
00:04:29,899 --> 00:04:31,266
Who does?
120
00:04:31,368 --> 00:04:33,668
So, you want your daughter to graduate,
121
00:04:33,737 --> 00:04:36,704
but she can't unless I punch in
my administrative override code.
122
00:04:36,806 --> 00:04:39,340
What to do? What to do?
123
00:04:39,442 --> 00:04:40,675
Fine!
124
00:04:40,777 --> 00:04:42,510
- I'll plan your wedding.
- Great.
125
00:04:42,612 --> 00:04:43,978
So, during summer break,
126
00:04:44,047 --> 00:04:46,047
Maria and I wish to take
a riverboat trip together.
127
00:04:46,149 --> 00:04:48,583
But Mother will not
let us travel in sin.
128
00:04:48,685 --> 00:04:49,951
You're a grown man.
129
00:04:50,053 --> 00:04:52,086
One might say an old man.
130
00:04:52,188 --> 00:04:53,655
Why do you still listen to your mother?
131
00:04:53,757 --> 00:04:55,556
Because I don't want to get grounded.
132
00:04:55,625 --> 00:04:57,525
In any event, we must be wed
in the next two days.
133
00:04:57,627 --> 00:04:59,027
The riverboat leaves out of Chicago
134
00:04:59,129 --> 00:05:00,595
shortly after graduation.
135
00:05:00,664 --> 00:05:02,697
It's not gonna be easy to throw
together a wedding at the last second.
136
00:05:02,722 --> 00:05:03,775
What's your budget?
137
00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:05,266
- $195.
- Ugh.
138
00:05:05,368 --> 00:05:07,468
We spent all our money
on the riverboat cruise,
139
00:05:07,570 --> 00:05:08,803
but it's top-of-the-line.
140
00:05:08,905 --> 00:05:11,039
We're only sharing our room
with four other couples.
141
00:05:11,141 --> 00:05:13,374
I guess I could pull together a small...
142
00:05:13,476 --> 00:05:15,943
No. Maria's always dreamed
of a big wedding.
143
00:05:16,046 --> 00:05:17,478
Can you get the guest list
together in time?
144
00:05:17,580 --> 00:05:19,080
Oh, that'll be easy.
145
00:05:19,182 --> 00:05:20,548
Neither of us have much family,
146
00:05:20,650 --> 00:05:22,083
and our friend will be
out of town that day.
147
00:05:22,185 --> 00:05:23,484
Then how is it going to be big?
148
00:05:23,586 --> 00:05:24,819
That's up to you to figure out,
149
00:05:24,921 --> 00:05:27,188
if you want your daughter to graduate.
150
00:05:27,290 --> 00:05:28,856
Anything else?
151
00:05:28,958 --> 00:05:30,024
Yes.
152
00:05:30,126 --> 00:05:32,126
Maria wants to walk down
the aisle to bagpipes,
153
00:05:32,228 --> 00:05:34,095
and she wants the whole thing
professionally videoed.
154
00:05:34,197 --> 00:05:36,931
You want all that for $195?
155
00:05:37,033 --> 00:05:37,732
Ooh!
156
00:05:37,834 --> 00:05:38,966
Actually...
157
00:05:39,069 --> 00:05:40,335
$191.55.
158
00:05:40,437 --> 00:05:41,981
I got a Starbucks this morning.
159
00:05:49,072 --> 00:05:50,839
Basically, I'm being blackmailed.
160
00:05:50,867 --> 00:05:54,435
In order for Taylor to graduate,
I have to plan Ablin's wedding.
161
00:05:54,545 --> 00:05:55,607
That's so unfair.
162
00:05:55,632 --> 00:05:57,171
Actually, it's kind of my fault.
163
00:05:57,196 --> 00:05:58,242
Yeah, I had a feeling.
164
00:05:58,267 --> 00:05:59,941
Where am I going to find 200 warm bodies
165
00:06:00,043 --> 00:06:02,610
to sit quietly and watch a
couple of strangers get married?
166
00:06:02,679 --> 00:06:05,513
Well, would you say there'd be
200 of those warm bodies
167
00:06:05,615 --> 00:06:07,148
at graduation?
168
00:06:07,217 --> 00:06:09,083
Are you saying that Ablin and Maria
169
00:06:09,185 --> 00:06:10,952
should get married
in the middle of graduation?
170
00:06:11,020 --> 00:06:12,687
You've got the crowd,
you've got the venue.
171
00:06:12,789 --> 00:06:14,856
And there are already
drinks and desserts afterward,
172
00:06:14,958 --> 00:06:16,357
so you don't have to
pay for a reception.
173
00:06:16,459 --> 00:06:18,559
Oh, my God! This could actually work!
174
00:06:18,628 --> 00:06:20,027
I suppose I have to ask for permission.
175
00:06:20,096 --> 00:06:21,896
Who is in charge
of the graduation committee?
176
00:06:21,921 --> 00:06:23,854
- Tara Summers.
- Huh.
177
00:06:23,930 --> 00:06:25,129
If I didn't know better,
178
00:06:25,154 --> 00:06:27,454
I'd think all my feuds
make my life more difficult.
179
00:06:33,743 --> 00:06:35,076
I'm done with the quiz.
180
00:06:35,145 --> 00:06:36,244
I just finished my last question.
181
00:06:36,346 --> 00:06:37,345
Here we go.
182
00:06:37,414 --> 00:06:38,780
Whoo! We did it!
183
00:06:38,848 --> 00:06:39,881
What are you talking about?
184
00:06:39,949 --> 00:06:41,716
It says we're
a "dumpster fire of a couple."
185
00:06:41,818 --> 00:06:43,418
Yeah. Dumpster fires are good.
186
00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:44,986
They make the lighting
in the alley all cool
187
00:06:45,054 --> 00:06:46,454
for when the turtles
come out of the sewer
188
00:06:46,523 --> 00:06:48,055
and beat up bad guys
and eat pizza and stuff.
189
00:06:48,124 --> 00:06:50,258
No, dumpster fires are not good, Trip.
190
00:06:50,326 --> 00:06:52,393
This quiz says
we're never gonna make it!
191
00:06:52,495 --> 00:06:54,061
Babe, are you serious right now?
192
00:06:54,130 --> 00:06:55,496
It's just an online quiz.
193
00:06:55,565 --> 00:06:57,965
But Bailey and Garrett took it,
and they broke up because of it.
194
00:06:58,067 --> 00:06:59,233
And they were perfect together.
195
00:06:59,302 --> 00:07:01,335
Bailey and Garrett
don't have what we have.
196
00:07:01,404 --> 00:07:02,670
I guess.
197
00:07:02,739 --> 00:07:05,273
Also, Bailey and Garrett didn't
break up because of the quiz.
198
00:07:05,375 --> 00:07:07,341
They broke up because they
found out they're first cousins.
199
00:07:12,949 --> 00:07:14,115
Wow, you look terrible.
200
00:07:14,208 --> 00:07:15,221
What happened?
201
00:07:15,326 --> 00:07:16,825
Did one of your footmen
apply for parental leave?
202
00:07:16,903 --> 00:07:18,903
Gustav did, and he's been spoken to.
203
00:07:18,980 --> 00:07:21,681
But no, this is more serious than that.
204
00:07:21,741 --> 00:07:23,975
My parents bought an estate
in Palm Beach.
205
00:07:24,044 --> 00:07:25,376
Oh, that's sick, bro!
206
00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:27,345
No, you don't understand.
207
00:07:27,414 --> 00:07:28,880
They're selling our Westport estate.
208
00:07:28,982 --> 00:07:30,214
We're moving to Florida.
209
00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:32,083
Oh, so you're gonna take the
private jet to school every day?
210
00:07:32,185 --> 00:07:35,086
No, because... I'll be
going to school down there.
211
00:07:35,188 --> 00:07:36,854
Wait.
212
00:07:36,973 --> 00:07:38,673
You're seriously moving?
213
00:07:38,742 --> 00:07:40,942
Florida has no state income tax.
214
00:07:41,044 --> 00:07:42,543
It was either there or the Caymans.
215
00:07:42,612 --> 00:07:44,545
And my mother's allergic to conch,
216
00:07:44,647 --> 00:07:45,780
so it's like, what's the point?
217
00:07:45,882 --> 00:07:47,115
Dude, you can't go.
218
00:07:47,217 --> 00:07:48,549
We've got plans.
219
00:07:52,655 --> 00:07:54,322
Can't believe this is happening.
220
00:07:55,892 --> 00:07:57,725
Florida.
221
00:07:57,827 --> 00:08:00,561
I mean, I'm happy for you
fiscally, but...
222
00:08:00,630 --> 00:08:01,629
I know.
223
00:08:08,905 --> 00:08:11,806
Okay, I need someone who's
already a part of graduation
224
00:08:11,908 --> 00:08:14,142
who's also ordained to marry them.
225
00:08:14,210 --> 00:08:15,243
Plus a bagpiper.
226
00:08:15,345 --> 00:08:16,944
Oh, the things you do for your kid.
227
00:08:17,013 --> 00:08:18,813
Isn't this all your fault?
228
00:08:18,915 --> 00:08:21,682
Like I would ever verbally
acknowledge any part in this.
229
00:08:21,751 --> 00:08:23,384
Watch a cop show, Greg.
230
00:08:24,454 --> 00:08:25,520
Oh, hey, honey.
231
00:08:25,588 --> 00:08:27,588
So, I've decided
not to go to camp this summer.
232
00:08:27,690 --> 00:08:28,589
What are you talking about?
233
00:08:28,691 --> 00:08:29,791
You were so excited to go.
234
00:08:29,859 --> 00:08:32,126
Well, I was, but then
I talked to Franklin,
235
00:08:32,228 --> 00:08:34,662
and he said that camp is
way too dangerous
236
00:08:34,731 --> 00:08:36,364
and is not on board with me going.
237
00:08:36,433 --> 00:08:37,665
First of all, we would never
238
00:08:37,734 --> 00:08:39,100
send you to a camp that wasn't safe.
239
00:08:39,202 --> 00:08:40,968
And second, Anna-Kat,
240
00:08:41,070 --> 00:08:43,471
I have raised you to be
an independent young woman.
241
00:08:43,573 --> 00:08:45,706
If there is something
that you want to do,
242
00:08:45,775 --> 00:08:47,675
don't ever let a boy get in your way.
243
00:08:47,777 --> 00:08:48,743
Are you sure?
244
00:08:48,812 --> 00:08:50,845
Franklin made it sound really scary.
245
00:08:50,947 --> 00:08:52,146
He thinks everything's scary.
246
00:08:52,215 --> 00:08:54,382
The kid's 11 years old
and wears a Life Alert necklace.
247
00:08:54,484 --> 00:08:55,416
You're right!
248
00:08:55,485 --> 00:08:56,517
I don't have to listen to Franklin
249
00:08:56,619 --> 00:08:57,885
just because he's a boy.
250
00:08:57,954 --> 00:08:59,821
Exactly. You don't have to
listen to anyone just because...
251
00:08:59,923 --> 00:09:00,755
Quiet, you!
252
00:09:08,465 --> 00:09:10,064
Pardon me, young man!
253
00:09:13,403 --> 00:09:14,469
Yeah!
254
00:09:14,571 --> 00:09:18,739
The ultimate prank...
the paintball bazooka!
255
00:09:18,808 --> 00:09:20,875
I paid the robotics team
at MIT to create it.
256
00:09:20,944 --> 00:09:22,143
Totally worth it.
257
00:09:22,245 --> 00:09:24,645
Not worth it, but at least
we have an ending to your book.
258
00:09:24,714 --> 00:09:26,047
Congrats, Lonnie. Pbht.
259
00:09:26,115 --> 00:09:28,049
Mm, I-I don't know.
260
00:09:28,151 --> 00:09:29,984
I think we move this up to the beginning
261
00:09:30,053 --> 00:09:32,053
a-and then we try to figure out
a way to top ourselves.
262
00:09:32,155 --> 00:09:34,655
You want to top yourself?
Do it on your own time.
263
00:09:34,724 --> 00:09:38,159
I'm done with you,
and I'm done with this project!
264
00:09:38,261 --> 00:09:39,760
Donks, don't be like that.
265
00:09:40,830 --> 00:09:43,197
Fine! I don't need you!
266
00:09:43,299 --> 00:09:44,765
I'll just go find another old dude!
267
00:09:44,834 --> 00:09:47,001
There's a Tommy Bahama
three blocks from here!
268
00:09:50,373 --> 00:09:51,906
Done.
269
00:09:52,008 --> 00:09:53,774
Okay. I finished, too.
270
00:09:53,843 --> 00:09:55,443
Let's try this again.
271
00:09:55,512 --> 00:09:56,611
Fireworks!
272
00:09:56,713 --> 00:09:57,411
No!
273
00:09:57,480 --> 00:09:59,146
Nuclear bomb!
274
00:09:59,215 --> 00:10:00,581
We are never gonna make it!
275
00:10:03,319 --> 00:10:06,654
Maria, this wedding dress
belonged to my friend Doris.
276
00:10:06,756 --> 00:10:08,289
It's custom-made, from Italy.
277
00:10:08,391 --> 00:10:09,524
It's exquisite!
278
00:10:11,160 --> 00:10:13,528
This has a fairly substantial burn mark.
279
00:10:13,630 --> 00:10:15,730
Yeah, Doris got a little arson-y
after the divorce.
280
00:10:15,832 --> 00:10:16,831
But it's free.
281
00:10:16,900 --> 00:10:18,666
Maria, you're crafty. You can fix it.
282
00:10:18,735 --> 00:10:20,801
She hemmed my pajamas into shorties.
283
00:10:20,870 --> 00:10:22,203
They're quite short.
284
00:10:23,907 --> 00:10:25,673
And who will be performing
our sacred vows?
285
00:10:25,742 --> 00:10:27,408
I haven't nailed that down yet,
but don't worry.
286
00:10:27,477 --> 00:10:28,376
I'm working on it.
287
00:10:28,478 --> 00:10:29,644
Well, until you do figure it out,
288
00:10:29,712 --> 00:10:31,746
your little piggy will
not be going to market.
289
00:10:31,848 --> 00:10:33,381
Your little piggy will stay home.
290
00:10:33,449 --> 00:10:35,483
I call all students little piggies.
291
00:10:35,552 --> 00:10:37,585
Market is graduation. Home is home.
292
00:10:37,654 --> 00:10:39,186
After all this,
the two of us are going back
293
00:10:39,289 --> 00:10:40,821
to a more formal relationship.
294
00:10:44,827 --> 00:10:46,761
Mrs. A, Taylor just told me to go home.
295
00:10:46,829 --> 00:10:48,396
That stupid quiz is
messing with her head.
296
00:10:48,498 --> 00:10:49,830
Don't pay attention to quizzes, Trip.
297
00:10:49,933 --> 00:10:51,132
I literally never have.
298
00:10:51,200 --> 00:10:52,900
But Taylor did, and now
she's really upset with me.
299
00:10:52,969 --> 00:10:54,468
She won't even listen
to what I have to say.
300
00:10:54,571 --> 00:10:57,438
What I suggest you do is
to trick her into hearing you.
301
00:10:57,540 --> 00:11:00,141
Tricking is a major part
of any long-term relationship.
302
00:11:00,243 --> 00:11:02,176
If only it was that easy
to get this wedding sorted out.
303
00:11:02,278 --> 00:11:03,744
I don't even have someone to marry them.
304
00:11:03,813 --> 00:11:04,712
I can do it.
305
00:11:04,814 --> 00:11:06,480
- You have to be ordained.
- I'm ordained.
306
00:11:06,549 --> 00:11:07,682
I did it online so I could
307
00:11:07,784 --> 00:11:09,884
perform a marriage ceremony
for Anna-Kat's toy ponies,
308
00:11:09,986 --> 00:11:11,919
Twinkle Toes and Duffy McSprinkles.
309
00:11:12,021 --> 00:11:13,721
- She wanted it legal.
- That's amazing!
310
00:11:13,823 --> 00:11:15,122
Now all I need is someone
311
00:11:15,224 --> 00:11:16,691
who knows how to play the bagpipes.
312
00:11:16,716 --> 00:11:17,725
Franklin wasn't available?
313
00:11:17,794 --> 00:11:19,493
Franklin plays the bagpipes?
314
00:11:19,588 --> 00:11:20,562
Yeah.
315
00:11:20,609 --> 00:11:22,797
He joined a bagpiping group
as a way to rehab his asthma,
316
00:11:22,899 --> 00:11:23,998
and it turned into a passion.
317
00:11:24,100 --> 00:11:25,066
Then it's all set.
318
00:11:25,168 --> 00:11:26,667
Taylor is gonna graduate!
319
00:11:26,769 --> 00:11:28,903
You would've loved the ceremony, Mrs. A.
320
00:11:29,005 --> 00:11:30,605
Duffy McSprinkles got cold hooves,
321
00:11:30,707 --> 00:11:33,007
but a last-minute pep talk
from Starburst Von Clydesdale
322
00:11:33,109 --> 00:11:34,375
sorted them out.
323
00:11:34,477 --> 00:11:37,115
It was... beautiful.
324
00:11:44,150 --> 00:11:45,650
You're quiet today.
325
00:11:45,752 --> 00:11:47,385
I don't want to talk about it.
326
00:11:47,454 --> 00:11:49,387
Oh, you took that the wrong way.
327
00:11:49,456 --> 00:11:50,922
I like you quiet.
328
00:11:52,992 --> 00:11:54,859
Well, I'm ready for
this graduation/wedding thing.
329
00:11:54,961 --> 00:11:56,260
I think I have everything set.
330
00:11:56,363 --> 00:11:57,628
The moment that they are married,
331
00:11:57,697 --> 00:11:59,897
Ablin will allow Taylor to graduate.
332
00:11:59,999 --> 00:12:01,199
So, is Lonnie meeting us there?
333
00:12:01,267 --> 00:12:02,700
I've asked him to film the ceremony.
334
00:12:02,769 --> 00:12:04,168
I don't know. We're not speaking.
335
00:12:04,270 --> 00:12:05,903
- Oh.
- Well...
336
00:12:07,674 --> 00:12:09,974
Is Franklin meeting us there
with his bagpipes?
337
00:12:10,076 --> 00:12:10,808
No idea.
338
00:12:10,877 --> 00:12:12,176
Ever since I told him
339
00:12:12,278 --> 00:12:14,645
I'm still going to summer camp,
he's not talking to me.
340
00:12:14,748 --> 00:12:16,013
Oh.
341
00:12:17,717 --> 00:12:18,783
Okay.
342
00:12:18,885 --> 00:12:20,752
Let's go! I'm ready to graduate.
343
00:12:20,854 --> 00:12:21,753
We'll see.
344
00:12:21,821 --> 00:12:22,854
What do you mean, "We'll see"?
345
00:12:22,922 --> 00:12:24,822
You did take care
of my library fine, right?
346
00:12:27,327 --> 00:12:29,193
I can't believe my baby's graduating.
347
00:12:29,262 --> 00:12:30,862
Stop!
348
00:12:31,998 --> 00:12:33,131
Works every time.
349
00:12:38,772 --> 00:12:41,139
Hello, Westport Unified class of 2020!
350
00:12:41,207 --> 00:12:42,673
Wow, we did it.
351
00:12:42,776 --> 00:12:44,842
Come on, let's hear some applause.
352
00:12:44,944 --> 00:12:46,177
Wow.
353
00:12:46,279 --> 00:12:47,412
Even some of you I didn't even think
354
00:12:47,514 --> 00:12:49,647
had the grades to graduate
are here today.
355
00:12:49,716 --> 00:12:52,083
Nah, I'm just kidding. But anyway...
356
00:12:52,152 --> 00:12:54,318
These last few years have been
some of the best of my life.
357
00:12:54,387 --> 00:12:56,053
Lonnie! Thank God you made it.
358
00:12:56,156 --> 00:12:57,321
Where's your video camera?
359
00:12:57,390 --> 00:12:59,323
Yeah, don't worry. I got
my people all over this thing.
360
00:12:59,392 --> 00:13:01,793
It's nice of you to show up, but
I'm still not talking to you.
361
00:13:02,996 --> 00:13:05,196
You want a poignant ending? Here it is.
362
00:13:05,265 --> 00:13:06,831
My whole world is about collecting likes
363
00:13:06,900 --> 00:13:08,065
from people I don't know.
364
00:13:08,134 --> 00:13:09,967
But the one person
that I actually want to like me
365
00:13:10,069 --> 00:13:11,235
doesn't right now.
366
00:13:12,806 --> 00:13:14,739
You know why
my book doesn't have an ending?
367
00:13:16,009 --> 00:13:18,876
It's because I don't...
want this to end.
368
00:13:19,979 --> 00:13:21,913
You and me.
369
00:13:21,981 --> 00:13:23,648
Thanks for being you.
370
00:13:23,750 --> 00:13:24,916
Nah, I'm just kidding.
371
00:13:24,984 --> 00:13:27,518
Well... there'll probably be
a book tour, right?
372
00:13:27,620 --> 00:13:29,454
Book tour.
373
00:13:29,556 --> 00:13:30,421
Yes!
374
00:13:30,490 --> 00:13:31,889
Oh! I didn't think of that.
375
00:13:31,958 --> 00:13:36,260
Ooh, Badonks, with a brain
as big as his ass!
376
00:13:36,362 --> 00:13:37,662
We're back!
377
00:13:38,631 --> 00:13:39,664
We look forward to our future
378
00:13:39,732 --> 00:13:42,733
with perfect, "class-of-2020" vision.
379
00:13:42,836 --> 00:13:43,968
Thank you.
380
00:13:55,448 --> 00:13:58,416
The smart kids get to talk
at these things every year.
381
00:13:58,518 --> 00:14:00,318
What about the not-so-smart kids?
382
00:14:00,386 --> 00:14:01,886
They have something to say, too.
383
00:14:01,955 --> 00:14:04,622
So, with the lowest grade point average,
384
00:14:04,691 --> 00:14:08,292
your "maledictorian," Trip Windsor.
385
00:14:09,762 --> 00:14:11,295
What?!
386
00:14:13,933 --> 00:14:15,299
Dearly beloved,
387
00:14:15,368 --> 00:14:19,103
what is graduation
if not a celebration of love?
388
00:14:19,172 --> 00:14:20,771
How is it a celebration of love?
389
00:14:20,840 --> 00:14:23,875
Shh! The maledictorian is speaking!
390
00:14:23,943 --> 00:14:25,409
...and the teachers who helped guide us
391
00:14:25,512 --> 00:14:29,614
through these past
four... or five... years,
392
00:14:29,716 --> 00:14:32,116
and most importantly, the love
393
00:14:32,185 --> 00:14:34,986
between an administrator
and his girlfriend.
394
00:14:38,458 --> 00:14:40,858
Franklin made it!
It's all coming together!
395
00:14:40,960 --> 00:14:42,226
Greg, Oliver, go!
396
00:15:04,984 --> 00:15:06,551
Will you give me away?
397
00:15:06,653 --> 00:15:08,052
Sure.
398
00:15:08,121 --> 00:15:11,789
Wouldn't be the strangest thing
that's happened today.
399
00:15:14,394 --> 00:15:15,693
Ohh.
400
00:15:37,784 --> 00:15:39,850
I'm gonna talk to Ablin
about whatever this is
401
00:15:39,919 --> 00:15:41,586
and shut it down!
402
00:15:53,399 --> 00:15:58,502
Love, like math,
it doesn't always make sense.
403
00:15:58,571 --> 00:16:02,740
Like English, it doesn't
always make sense.
404
00:16:02,809 --> 00:16:06,177
Like science,
it doesn't make sense at all.
405
00:16:06,245 --> 00:16:09,380
But the difference is,
love doesn't have to make sense.
406
00:16:09,449 --> 00:16:11,616
Because it's not something
that you learn.
407
00:16:11,684 --> 00:16:14,752
There's no stupid quiz
that you have to pass,
408
00:16:14,854 --> 00:16:17,521
'cause love is
making up words in Scrabble.
409
00:16:17,624 --> 00:16:20,958
And yelling
"Swiper, no swiping" together.
410
00:16:21,027 --> 00:16:23,427
It's something that you feel.
411
00:16:23,529 --> 00:16:26,831
And I feel it, now and forever.
412
00:16:29,936 --> 00:16:31,602
Maria.
413
00:16:31,704 --> 00:16:35,539
Do you take Principal Ablin
to be your husband?
414
00:16:35,642 --> 00:16:36,907
I do.
415
00:16:36,976 --> 00:16:40,711
Principal Ablin, do you take
Maria to be your wife?
416
00:16:40,780 --> 00:16:41,812
I do.
417
00:16:41,914 --> 00:16:44,982
I now pronounce you principal and wife.
418
00:16:45,084 --> 00:16:46,217
You may kiss the bride.
419
00:16:47,320 --> 00:16:48,285
Wait, wait, wait!
420
00:16:48,388 --> 00:16:49,654
Does my daughter graduate?
421
00:16:49,756 --> 00:16:50,621
Absolutely.
422
00:17:06,272 --> 00:17:08,305
Everyone, afterward, please join us
423
00:17:08,374 --> 00:17:10,574
for our wedding reception
in the main gymnasium.
424
00:17:10,677 --> 00:17:14,412
You mean the PTA's
annual graduation buffet?!
425
00:17:14,514 --> 00:17:16,881
Either way, we're playing "Brick House."
426
00:17:30,697 --> 00:17:32,997
All right, now let me get one
with just the siblings.
427
00:17:36,035 --> 00:17:37,401
Can you believe our baby graduated?
428
00:17:37,503 --> 00:17:39,704
Just two more to get rid of.
429
00:17:39,806 --> 00:17:41,105
Your sentimentality is touching.
430
00:17:41,207 --> 00:17:42,239
Mm-hmm.
431
00:17:50,216 --> 00:17:51,482
Aww.
432
00:17:51,584 --> 00:17:52,917
Look at you.
433
00:17:52,985 --> 00:17:54,752
You're upset your sister's graduating.
434
00:17:54,854 --> 00:17:56,954
No. It's Cooper.
435
00:17:57,056 --> 00:17:58,823
He's moving with his family to Florida.
436
00:17:58,925 --> 00:18:00,024
Oh.
437
00:18:01,461 --> 00:18:03,594
I'm sorry, honey. I didn't know.
438
00:18:03,696 --> 00:18:05,663
He's my best friend.
439
00:18:05,765 --> 00:18:06,864
You know how hard it is
440
00:18:06,966 --> 00:18:08,899
to find a best friend
who really gets you?
441
00:18:08,968 --> 00:18:13,137
I know this is hard for you,
but maybe he's excited.
442
00:18:13,206 --> 00:18:14,872
He doesn't want to go.
443
00:18:14,941 --> 00:18:17,775
He never even sees his parents.
444
00:18:17,844 --> 00:18:20,277
I don't get why they're
forcing him to do this.
445
00:18:21,781 --> 00:18:23,748
I'm gonna miss him so much.
446
00:18:25,151 --> 00:18:26,884
What am I gonna do, Mom?
447
00:18:39,098 --> 00:18:41,065
I know you're mad at me,
448
00:18:41,134 --> 00:18:43,300
but it was nice of you to show up today.
449
00:18:43,369 --> 00:18:45,269
Bagpipers always see a job through.
450
00:18:45,338 --> 00:18:48,038
Unlike harp players, who bolt
at the first sign of conflict.
451
00:18:48,107 --> 00:18:50,641
I think it's nice
you're so worried about me,
452
00:18:50,743 --> 00:18:54,178
but it's my decision to go
to summer camp, Franklin.
453
00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:55,379
Nothing's gonna happen.
454
00:18:55,481 --> 00:18:56,814
Oh, yes, it will!
455
00:18:56,883 --> 00:18:59,216
You don't know what happens
at summer camp! I do!
456
00:18:59,318 --> 00:19:01,051
It's where girls get their first kiss!
457
00:19:01,154 --> 00:19:02,419
Is that what you're worried about?
458
00:19:02,522 --> 00:19:04,155
Me kissing another boy?
459
00:19:04,957 --> 00:19:06,857
You're a real dummy, Franklin.
460
00:19:13,966 --> 00:19:15,366
There. Problem solved.
461
00:19:15,468 --> 00:19:18,702
I don't have any guy friends,
so I have to brag to you.
462
00:19:18,771 --> 00:19:20,704
I just got kissed by a really cute girl.
463
00:19:24,043 --> 00:19:26,577
My last home-cooked dinner
with the Ottos,
464
00:19:26,679 --> 00:19:28,312
where we use paper towels as napkins
465
00:19:28,414 --> 00:19:30,080
and my food isn't plated properly.
466
00:19:31,484 --> 00:19:32,817
I'm gonna miss this.
467
00:19:32,919 --> 00:19:35,653
Cooper, there's something
I've got to tell you.
468
00:19:35,755 --> 00:19:36,754
No, let me go first.
469
00:19:37,723 --> 00:19:39,757
I didn't know what it meant
to be a part of a family
470
00:19:39,859 --> 00:19:41,425
until I met you guys.
471
00:19:41,494 --> 00:19:44,295
You're warm and messy and loud,
472
00:19:44,363 --> 00:19:45,529
and you drink tap water,
473
00:19:45,631 --> 00:19:47,331
which is just like
drinking out of the toilet.
474
00:19:47,433 --> 00:19:48,299
Eww.
475
00:19:48,401 --> 00:19:50,000
Move on to your next point.
476
00:19:50,102 --> 00:19:54,271
You let me into your home
and made me a part of all that,
477
00:19:54,373 --> 00:19:56,207
and I'll always be grateful.
478
00:19:57,677 --> 00:19:58,843
I love you guys.
479
00:20:01,013 --> 00:20:02,112
Dude.
480
00:20:03,382 --> 00:20:04,317
Dude.
481
00:20:04,350 --> 00:20:05,616
Dude.
482
00:20:06,586 --> 00:20:07,985
Dude.
483
00:20:08,087 --> 00:20:09,320
Enough.
484
00:20:10,389 --> 00:20:13,824
Greg and I had a conversation
with your parents.
485
00:20:13,926 --> 00:20:15,693
If it's okay with you, they said
486
00:20:15,795 --> 00:20:19,063
that you can live with us
until you graduate high school.
487
00:20:19,088 --> 00:20:20,120
What?!
488
00:20:20,145 --> 00:20:21,632
They'll send the jet for you
every other weekend.
489
00:20:21,734 --> 00:20:23,367
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
490
00:20:23,469 --> 00:20:25,336
- Dude!
- Dude!
491
00:20:25,438 --> 00:20:26,537
Dude!
492
00:20:27,607 --> 00:20:29,306
Dude.
493
00:20:36,808 --> 00:20:37,974
Okay.
494
00:20:38,076 --> 00:20:40,276
What if I break into a delivery room,
495
00:20:40,379 --> 00:20:42,374
I deliver someone's baby,
496
00:20:42,514 --> 00:20:46,616
but at the last minute, I make
a switch and I hand them...
497
00:20:46,718 --> 00:20:47,984
a live possum?
498
00:20:48,086 --> 00:20:50,086
That's the dumbest thing
I've ever heard.
499
00:20:50,188 --> 00:20:51,454
But you know what?
500
00:20:51,556 --> 00:20:52,814
Let's do it!
501
00:20:52,877 --> 00:20:53,994
Let's just finish the book!
502
00:20:54,049 --> 00:20:57,594
Sorry, but anyone over 30
likes an idea, it can't be good.
503
00:20:57,696 --> 00:20:58,857
That's just science, bruh.