1
00:00:00,117 --> 00:00:01,476
Trip and I are going
to the movies tonight.
2
00:00:01,562 --> 00:00:02,983
Cooper and I are going, too.
3
00:00:03,054 --> 00:00:04,851
Oh, cool! I like movies.
Maybe I'll tag along.
4
00:00:04,930 --> 00:00:07,335
- Sorry, I misspoke. I meant mini-golf.
- Yeah, me, too.
5
00:00:07,406 --> 00:00:08,805
Oh, I like mini-golf.
6
00:00:08,874 --> 00:00:10,739
What do you not like, Dad?
Because we're doing that.
7
00:00:10,810 --> 00:00:13,496
- Yeah, me, too.
- All right, you go. Have fun.
8
00:00:13,565 --> 00:00:15,117
Anna-Kat, hurry up.
You're gonna be late.
9
00:00:15,187 --> 00:00:16,573
- Where's your backpack?
- Upstairs.
10
00:00:16,668 --> 00:00:17,700
I'll get it.
11
00:00:17,769 --> 00:00:19,602
Quick, finish your breakfast.
Bigger bites.
12
00:00:19,671 --> 00:00:21,070
Put it down like a snake.
13
00:00:30,915 --> 00:00:31,981
Where's your sweatshirt?
14
00:00:32,083 --> 00:00:33,883
Next to my backpack.
15
00:00:45,363 --> 00:00:47,997
Anna-Kat, you're only wearing
one sneaker.
16
00:00:49,400 --> 00:00:50,299
Oh, yeah.
17
00:01:06,951 --> 00:01:07,783
Catch!
18
00:01:12,090 --> 00:01:13,489
Are you okay?
19
00:01:14,692 --> 00:01:17,326
I know I am this close to turning 40,
20
00:01:17,395 --> 00:01:19,428
but I don't think that I can blame age
21
00:01:19,497 --> 00:01:21,597
for getting tired halfway up the stairs.
22
00:01:21,699 --> 00:01:23,065
Blame me. I'm a very easy target.
23
00:01:23,167 --> 00:01:26,102
I just don't love how I feel
in my body right now.
24
00:01:26,204 --> 00:01:27,837
I don't feel attractive.
25
00:01:27,939 --> 00:01:30,239
I might need to change some things up.
26
00:01:30,341 --> 00:01:31,974
I like how you are right now.
27
00:01:32,076 --> 00:01:33,609
But if you feel like you should change,
28
00:01:33,711 --> 00:01:35,411
then you should go ahead
and make that change.
29
00:01:35,480 --> 00:01:36,879
And I'm sure that if you make the change
30
00:01:36,948 --> 00:01:37,947
that I'd like the new you
31
00:01:38,049 --> 00:01:39,348
as much as I like the current you,
32
00:01:39,450 --> 00:01:40,483
as you are.
33
00:01:40,551 --> 00:01:41,684
Currently.
34
00:01:42,720 --> 00:01:44,887
I wasn't fishing
for a nervous compliment, Greg.
35
00:01:44,956 --> 00:01:46,622
I'm just making a statement.
36
00:01:46,724 --> 00:01:48,391
Oh.
37
00:01:48,493 --> 00:01:50,426
Do you think you could
take the kids to school?
38
00:01:50,528 --> 00:01:51,894
I'm just gonna stay here.
39
00:01:51,996 --> 00:01:53,362
I know it's only 8:00 a.m.,
40
00:01:53,464 --> 00:01:55,331
but I feel like I've done enough.
41
00:01:55,433 --> 00:01:58,334
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
42
00:01:58,420 --> 00:02:00,309
04x06 - Girls' Night Out
43
00:02:05,109 --> 00:02:07,476
Doris' husband, Richard,
is here to see you.
44
00:02:07,578 --> 00:02:08,744
That's weird.
45
00:02:08,846 --> 00:02:10,146
Send him in, I guess.
46
00:02:11,182 --> 00:02:12,949
- Hey, Angela.
- Hey.
47
00:02:13,051 --> 00:02:14,850
Sorry to just pop in like this,
48
00:02:14,953 --> 00:02:17,954
but I'm wondering if I can...
talk to you about a situation.
49
00:02:18,056 --> 00:02:18,988
Ah.
50
00:02:19,090 --> 00:02:20,990
Okay, Richard, let's hear it.
51
00:02:21,092 --> 00:02:22,992
I don't know why,
but because I'm a lesbian,
52
00:02:23,094 --> 00:02:25,661
everyone wants to tell me
their one gay experience, so...
53
00:02:25,763 --> 00:02:26,796
come on.
54
00:02:26,898 --> 00:02:27,630
No.
55
00:02:27,732 --> 00:02:28,998
I'm going to divorce Doris,
56
00:02:29,100 --> 00:02:31,033
and I'd like to hire you as my lawyer.
57
00:02:31,135 --> 00:02:32,668
What? Oh!
58
00:02:32,770 --> 00:02:34,003
Hell no!
59
00:02:34,105 --> 00:02:36,505
I am not representing you if
you're divorcing my best friend.
60
00:02:36,607 --> 00:02:37,506
I figured as much.
61
00:02:37,608 --> 00:02:38,774
But now that I've talked to you,
62
00:02:38,876 --> 00:02:40,977
legally, you can't
represent her against me.
63
00:02:41,079 --> 00:02:42,345
Thanks so much for your help.
64
00:02:48,186 --> 00:02:50,152
Is this a real emergency,
65
00:02:50,254 --> 00:02:51,821
or do you just throw "911" on a text
66
00:02:51,923 --> 00:02:53,356
like when my kids run out
67
00:02:53,458 --> 00:02:55,224
of those little
Trader Joe's ice cream cones?
68
00:02:55,326 --> 00:02:57,460
Richard is divorcing Doris.
69
00:02:57,562 --> 00:02:58,627
What?
70
00:02:58,730 --> 00:03:00,229
He came to my office today to talk to me
71
00:03:00,331 --> 00:03:01,964
so that Doris couldn't
hire me as her lawyer.
72
00:03:03,067 --> 00:03:04,133
Meryl Streep's lawyer
73
00:03:04,235 --> 00:03:06,168
told her to do that
on "Big Little Lies"!
74
00:03:06,270 --> 00:03:07,737
I know. What'd you think of her teeth?
75
00:03:07,839 --> 00:03:08,971
I found them distracting.
76
00:03:09,073 --> 00:03:10,406
See, I thought they made her character.
77
00:03:10,508 --> 00:03:11,707
- We're getting off track.
- Right.
78
00:03:11,809 --> 00:03:12,942
Listen, we need to figure out
79
00:03:13,044 --> 00:03:14,443
how we're gonna play this
when Doris tells us
80
00:03:14,537 --> 00:03:16,451
because she's probably
gonna be a total mess.
81
00:03:16,514 --> 00:03:18,044
Hey! What's up, bitches?
82
00:03:18,115 --> 00:03:19,482
- Oh!
- There she is!
83
00:03:19,584 --> 00:03:20,649
Hey, girl.
84
00:03:20,752 --> 00:03:22,418
So, what are we talking about?
85
00:03:22,520 --> 00:03:24,520
Oh, you know, the usual.
86
00:03:24,622 --> 00:03:27,857
Greg, blah, blah, blah,
my kids, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh.
87
00:03:27,959 --> 00:03:30,393
I'm gay.
88
00:03:30,495 --> 00:03:32,161
You guys are being weird.
Why are you being weird?
89
00:03:32,263 --> 00:03:33,229
Who's acting weird?
90
00:03:33,331 --> 00:03:34,363
I am gay.
91
00:03:36,834 --> 00:03:40,369
So, Doris... anything new?
92
00:03:40,471 --> 00:03:41,637
Oh!
93
00:03:41,739 --> 00:03:43,672
I think I might be done brushing
my teeth in the morning.
94
00:03:43,775 --> 00:03:45,374
Now I just chew gum and go like this.
95
00:03:46,344 --> 00:03:47,543
That's neat.
96
00:03:47,645 --> 00:03:50,012
I'm gonna step out real quick
to use the bathroom.
97
00:03:59,657 --> 00:04:00,623
I gotta poop.
98
00:04:06,030 --> 00:04:09,131
- She doesn't know.
- Well, we have to tell her.
99
00:04:09,233 --> 00:04:10,599
Richard told you. You tell her.
100
00:04:10,701 --> 00:04:12,134
No! I sit next to her.
101
00:04:12,236 --> 00:04:14,036
I am within fork-stabbing distance.
102
00:04:14,138 --> 00:04:16,605
And you know Doris does not
react well to bad news.
103
00:04:19,143 --> 00:04:20,009
Sorry about that.
104
00:04:20,111 --> 00:04:21,077
Everything good?
105
00:04:21,145 --> 00:04:22,378
So good.
106
00:04:22,447 --> 00:04:24,814
Angela, did you have
any interesting visitors
107
00:04:24,882 --> 00:04:26,715
at the office this morning?
108
00:04:26,784 --> 00:04:29,452
Oh, Katie, work is so boring.
109
00:04:29,554 --> 00:04:30,853
Let's talk about gossip.
110
00:04:30,922 --> 00:04:33,689
Have you heard anything gossipy
this morning?
111
00:04:37,028 --> 00:04:39,895
Would you excuse me one more time?
112
00:04:45,336 --> 00:04:46,635
Part two.
113
00:04:49,273 --> 00:04:51,474
You need to cool it on that flaxseed.
114
00:04:52,844 --> 00:04:54,577
- I thought you were gonna tell her.
- I thought you were!
115
00:04:54,645 --> 00:04:56,412
Well, you've known her longer and...
116
00:04:56,514 --> 00:04:57,947
One, two, three, not it!
117
00:04:59,650 --> 00:05:00,883
What the hell is going on?
118
00:05:00,952 --> 00:05:03,152
Are you guys doing
bathroom drugs without me?
119
00:05:03,254 --> 00:05:04,787
Because that would be so mean!
120
00:05:04,889 --> 00:05:08,157
Doris... I think you should sit down.
121
00:05:09,527 --> 00:05:10,626
Come on.
122
00:05:14,332 --> 00:05:17,233
There's no easy way to say this.
123
00:05:19,103 --> 00:05:20,769
Richard is leaving you.
124
00:05:22,306 --> 00:05:24,974
Yeah, right. I wish!
125
00:05:25,076 --> 00:05:26,642
No. No, we're serious.
126
00:05:26,744 --> 00:05:28,744
He came to see me at the office today
127
00:05:28,813 --> 00:05:30,713
so that I couldn't represent you.
128
00:05:31,849 --> 00:05:33,249
Like in "Big Little Lies."
129
00:05:33,351 --> 00:05:35,484
We're so sorry, honey.
130
00:05:41,926 --> 00:05:43,292
Doris. Doris!
131
00:05:43,394 --> 00:05:44,193
Sorry.
132
00:05:44,295 --> 00:05:45,127
Doris!
133
00:05:47,098 --> 00:05:48,831
You keep chasing her!
134
00:05:48,933 --> 00:05:51,500
I'll wait here in case she circles back.
135
00:05:55,640 --> 00:05:57,339
10 years ago, the kids and I
136
00:05:57,408 --> 00:05:59,875
were making a surprise cake
for Katie's 30th birthday.
137
00:05:59,977 --> 00:06:01,777
Katie came home early,
caught us in the act,
138
00:06:01,879 --> 00:06:03,279
and took this photo.
139
00:06:03,381 --> 00:06:05,080
It's amazing what you guys can pull off
140
00:06:05,183 --> 00:06:07,116
without a pastry chef
and staff photographer.
141
00:06:07,218 --> 00:06:08,684
It's Katie's favorite picture.
142
00:06:08,753 --> 00:06:11,053
So I thought for her
40th birthday in a few months,
143
00:06:11,155 --> 00:06:12,855
it'd be fun to re-create this photo.
144
00:06:12,924 --> 00:06:15,424
A nice homemade gift to
remind her how much we love her.
145
00:06:15,526 --> 00:06:16,625
I'm in.
146
00:06:16,727 --> 00:06:18,427
Trip, you... weren't
in the original picture.
147
00:06:18,529 --> 00:06:20,362
Yeah, but I'm really photogenic.
148
00:06:20,464 --> 00:06:21,931
Check it.
149
00:06:22,033 --> 00:06:23,265
I'm checking it.
150
00:06:23,334 --> 00:06:25,534
When I'm 32, you'll be 41.
151
00:06:28,139 --> 00:06:29,638
I got all the props.
152
00:06:29,740 --> 00:06:32,875
And I made a Babybjorn out of a backpack
153
00:06:32,944 --> 00:06:34,777
and two seatbelts for Anna-Kat.
154
00:06:35,980 --> 00:06:37,846
There's no way
that thing will hold Anna-Kat.
155
00:06:37,949 --> 00:06:38,881
Don't be so negative.
156
00:06:38,983 --> 00:06:40,416
Then who am I?
157
00:06:41,497 --> 00:06:42,560
We just have to pick a night
158
00:06:42,622 --> 00:06:43,927
when Mom's not home
so we can take the picture.
159
00:06:43,988 --> 00:06:45,087
But she's always home.
160
00:06:45,156 --> 00:06:47,156
She's like that B.O. smell
in Oliver's room.
161
00:06:47,258 --> 00:06:48,390
She refuses to leave.
162
00:06:48,492 --> 00:06:50,326
Fake news.
163
00:06:50,428 --> 00:06:52,761
Oliver, you're wrong.
This'll totally hold her.
164
00:06:59,370 --> 00:07:01,570
So, they're getting divorced?
165
00:07:01,672 --> 00:07:03,872
What did Doris do
that finally made him leave her?
166
00:07:03,975 --> 00:07:06,141
Why do you assume it was Doris?
167
00:07:06,244 --> 00:07:07,476
For the same reason if we get divorced,
168
00:07:07,578 --> 00:07:08,510
people will assume it was you.
169
00:07:08,613 --> 00:07:10,446
That's fair.
170
00:07:12,783 --> 00:07:13,916
W-What are you doing?
171
00:07:14,018 --> 00:07:15,084
I'm exercising.
172
00:07:15,186 --> 00:07:16,018
Oh.
173
00:07:16,120 --> 00:07:18,520
Thanks for trying to make me laugh.
174
00:07:18,623 --> 00:07:21,023
Well, you were right.
175
00:07:21,092 --> 00:07:22,324
Richard's leaving me.
176
00:07:22,426 --> 00:07:24,159
I found papers on the kitchen table.
177
00:07:24,262 --> 00:07:25,394
I'm sorry, Doris.
178
00:07:25,496 --> 00:07:27,296
You know, I-I can't believe
this is happening.
179
00:07:27,398 --> 00:07:28,897
I always joked about me leaving Richard,
180
00:07:28,966 --> 00:07:30,432
but I never thought in a million years
181
00:07:30,534 --> 00:07:31,767
that he'd be the one leaving me.
182
00:07:31,869 --> 00:07:34,470
Honey, I know it's so hard.
183
00:07:34,572 --> 00:07:36,105
I know he's sleeping with someone.
184
00:07:36,207 --> 00:07:37,773
But it can't be one of the nannies.
185
00:07:37,875 --> 00:07:40,242
No. I'm no dummy, I went old and ugly.
186
00:07:40,344 --> 00:07:41,644
Well, you never know.
187
00:07:41,746 --> 00:07:44,513
Oprah says it's not about
how the other woman looks.
188
00:07:44,615 --> 00:07:46,882
It's about how she makes your man feel.
189
00:07:48,552 --> 00:07:49,852
What are you doing?
190
00:07:50,921 --> 00:07:53,022
If he's sleeping with someone,
so will I.
191
00:07:53,124 --> 00:07:54,290
We're going out tonight.
192
00:07:54,392 --> 00:07:56,225
You and Angela are gonna be
my wing women.
193
00:07:57,213 --> 00:07:59,028
I've got to find a dude to bone.
194
00:08:01,332 --> 00:08:02,598
No.
195
00:08:09,917 --> 00:08:11,698
Wow! You look fantastic.
196
00:08:13,909 --> 00:08:15,075
I'm gonna call Doris and lie
197
00:08:15,144 --> 00:08:16,910
and tell her
one of our idiot kids got lice
198
00:08:16,979 --> 00:08:18,545
and now we all have it.
199
00:08:18,614 --> 00:08:20,881
Actually, that's not a lie.
We probably all do.
200
00:08:20,949 --> 00:08:22,749
I know you don't feel so great
about yourself right now,
201
00:08:22,818 --> 00:08:24,551
but trust me, you're a catch.
202
00:08:24,620 --> 00:08:25,836
I bet if you didn't have that ring on,
203
00:08:25,899 --> 00:08:27,024
guys would hit on you all night long.
204
00:08:27,089 --> 00:08:28,355
You're just saying that.
205
00:08:28,423 --> 00:08:30,290
Well... let's find out.
206
00:08:31,627 --> 00:08:34,961
Katie Otto, will you un-marry me
for one night?
207
00:08:35,063 --> 00:08:36,696
Aww.
208
00:08:39,234 --> 00:08:41,876
Just to be clear,
does this actually mean I can...
209
00:08:41,947 --> 00:08:44,538
- No!
- Good thing I checked. Mm-hmm.
210
00:08:49,244 --> 00:08:51,144
Okay, Mom's gone!
211
00:08:51,246 --> 00:08:52,445
Oliver! Get down here!
212
00:08:52,514 --> 00:08:54,314
Taylor, Mom's finally out of the house.
213
00:08:54,383 --> 00:08:56,082
Get out the mixing bowls
and start making the batter.
214
00:08:56,151 --> 00:08:58,418
We need everything to look exactly
like it did in the original picture.
215
00:08:58,487 --> 00:08:59,886
Go throw on your ducky pajamas.
216
00:08:59,955 --> 00:09:01,354
Dad, we told you.
Cooper and I have plans.
217
00:09:01,456 --> 00:09:02,489
So do me and Trip.
218
00:09:02,591 --> 00:09:04,090
Well, you're gonna have to cancel.
219
00:09:04,159 --> 00:09:05,592
We might not get another chance.
220
00:09:05,694 --> 00:09:06,860
We can't cancel.
221
00:09:06,929 --> 00:09:08,862
It's opening night
of the new "Terminator" movie.
222
00:09:08,931 --> 00:09:10,664
If we don't go,
people will ruin it for us.
223
00:09:10,732 --> 00:09:12,699
But if we do go,
we can ruin it for other people.
224
00:09:12,801 --> 00:09:14,467
Besides, you signed off on it.
225
00:09:14,536 --> 00:09:15,702
You're always prattling on
226
00:09:15,771 --> 00:09:17,804
about how important it is
to be a man of your word.
227
00:09:17,873 --> 00:09:20,574
Should we just ignore everything
else you've taught us?
228
00:09:20,642 --> 00:09:23,410
Yeah. So should I chat
with strangers on the Internet?
229
00:09:27,983 --> 00:09:30,050
You just got outsmarted by Taylor.
230
00:09:30,152 --> 00:09:31,384
That can't feel good.
231
00:09:31,486 --> 00:09:33,119
Not necessarily.
232
00:09:33,188 --> 00:09:35,055
Taylor and Oliver are gonna be
grounded for the night.
233
00:09:35,157 --> 00:09:36,456
I just have to figure out why.
234
00:09:36,525 --> 00:09:38,258
Ooh, shady parenting.
235
00:09:38,327 --> 00:09:40,227
This is usually Mom's department.
236
00:09:40,295 --> 00:09:41,695
You just got interesting.
237
00:09:46,735 --> 00:09:48,435
Oh, this is amazing!
238
00:09:48,503 --> 00:09:50,537
Why didn't I do this a long time ago?!
239
00:09:50,606 --> 00:09:52,005
Because you were married!
240
00:10:02,217 --> 00:10:03,250
Hi, ladies.
241
00:10:03,318 --> 00:10:06,753
My friend just found out
she's getting divorced,
242
00:10:06,855 --> 00:10:08,688
and this is kind of her big night out.
243
00:10:08,757 --> 00:10:12,993
So our group are the ones
who need to have the most fun.
244
00:10:13,095 --> 00:10:15,095
Yeah, so we're gonna have to
ask you to leave.
245
00:10:15,163 --> 00:10:15,996
Mm-hmm.
246
00:10:17,065 --> 00:10:18,064
No.
247
00:10:20,168 --> 00:10:21,902
I'll give you 500 bucks.
248
00:10:22,004 --> 00:10:24,337
And an extra 50
for those boas and the tiaras.
249
00:10:26,708 --> 00:10:28,074
Here we go!
250
00:10:29,511 --> 00:10:31,144
- Whoo!
- Oh, yeah!
251
00:10:31,213 --> 00:10:33,280
All right, who wants to make out?!
252
00:10:33,348 --> 00:10:34,681
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
253
00:10:38,954 --> 00:10:40,754
Taylor, close the fridge door, please.
254
00:10:40,856 --> 00:10:42,989
I'll close it in a sec.
I got my hands full.
255
00:10:44,726 --> 00:10:45,959
When you leave the door open,
256
00:10:46,028 --> 00:10:48,061
the fridge thinks it needs
to cool the entire house.
257
00:10:48,130 --> 00:10:50,730
I'm just doing my part
to counteract global warming.
258
00:10:50,832 --> 00:10:51,765
Was that attitude?
259
00:10:51,867 --> 00:10:53,066
Total attitude.
260
00:10:53,168 --> 00:10:54,334
No, no. I...
261
00:10:54,403 --> 00:10:55,969
For the first time, I think
I was actually being clever.
262
00:10:56,071 --> 00:10:57,070
You're grounded.
263
00:10:57,139 --> 00:10:59,039
- No movie for you tonight.
- What?!
264
00:10:59,141 --> 00:11:00,373
And since you're grounded for the night,
265
00:11:00,442 --> 00:11:02,008
now you'll be able
to take that picture after all.
266
00:11:02,110 --> 00:11:04,311
You've got to be kidding me.
267
00:11:07,215 --> 00:11:08,214
If you'll excuse us,
268
00:11:08,283 --> 00:11:09,783
Cooper and I are gonna go up to my room
269
00:11:09,851 --> 00:11:11,451
and sit silently with our hands folded
270
00:11:11,553 --> 00:11:13,186
until the movie starts.
271
00:11:16,558 --> 00:11:17,691
He's onto us.
272
00:11:17,793 --> 00:11:18,725
I know.
273
00:11:18,827 --> 00:11:19,960
We have Taylor,
274
00:11:20,028 --> 00:11:21,962
but if we don't have Oliver,
we don't have a picture.
275
00:11:22,064 --> 00:11:24,164
- What's the plan?
- I'm gonna bust into his room,
276
00:11:24,232 --> 00:11:25,899
see if I can find a groundable offense.
277
00:11:26,001 --> 00:11:28,335
Top-left desk drawer. Check his journal.
278
00:11:28,437 --> 00:11:29,903
Some pretty meaty stuff in there.
279
00:11:30,005 --> 00:11:31,905
Hmm.
280
00:11:43,018 --> 00:11:46,052
So, uh... you the bride-to-be?
281
00:11:46,154 --> 00:11:47,187
Sorry?
282
00:11:48,223 --> 00:11:49,289
Oh.
283
00:11:49,391 --> 00:11:50,890
This? No.
284
00:11:50,993 --> 00:11:52,359
My friend is getting a divorce,
285
00:11:52,427 --> 00:11:54,294
and so we're trying
to help her find someone
286
00:11:54,396 --> 00:11:55,996
to have a revenge hook-up with.
287
00:11:56,098 --> 00:11:59,032
Ohh. That is so sweet.
288
00:11:59,134 --> 00:12:00,233
How about you?
289
00:12:00,335 --> 00:12:01,568
What?
290
00:12:01,636 --> 00:12:04,838
You looking for anybody
to have a revenge hook-up with?
291
00:12:08,810 --> 00:12:10,377
Wait a minute.
292
00:12:10,479 --> 00:12:12,145
You're Malcolm Smith.
293
00:12:12,247 --> 00:12:13,947
You recognize me?
294
00:12:14,049 --> 00:12:15,215
Of course!
295
00:12:15,317 --> 00:12:17,917
I saw you score, like, 30 points
in that all-star game.
296
00:12:17,986 --> 00:12:19,919
Well, I'm only hoping
to score once tonight.
297
00:12:22,758 --> 00:12:24,624
Malcolm Smith.
298
00:12:24,726 --> 00:12:25,759
Are you hitting on me?
299
00:12:25,827 --> 00:12:27,160
Yes.
300
00:12:27,229 --> 00:12:28,328
Yes, I am.
301
00:12:29,433 --> 00:12:30,530
Why?
302
00:12:30,632 --> 00:12:32,032
What do you mean, "Why?"
303
00:12:32,134 --> 00:12:35,101
You're hot, you know sports,
304
00:12:35,170 --> 00:12:38,972
and I don't see a wedding ring,
so I'm assuming single.
305
00:12:40,208 --> 00:12:43,451
Look... at... this.
306
00:12:43,476 --> 00:12:45,011
Unfortunately, I'm married.
307
00:12:45,080 --> 00:12:46,813
I mean, it's not unfortunate.
308
00:12:46,915 --> 00:12:49,149
I love my husband very much.
309
00:12:49,897 --> 00:12:51,651
Sometimes it's unfortunate.
310
00:12:54,423 --> 00:12:56,156
Well, uh...
311
00:12:56,224 --> 00:12:57,257
if you...
312
00:12:58,560 --> 00:13:01,795
...if you ever change your mind,
I would love to...
313
00:13:01,863 --> 00:13:04,297
just give you a little piggyback ride.
314
00:13:04,399 --> 00:13:06,232
It's quite the view.
315
00:13:07,169 --> 00:13:09,369
So is this.
316
00:13:15,610 --> 00:13:17,610
Hello, Father.
To what do we owe the pleasure?
317
00:13:17,712 --> 00:13:20,447
I was just... popping in to say hello.
318
00:13:20,549 --> 00:13:21,848
Making sure everything is...
319
00:13:21,950 --> 00:13:23,183
in order!
320
00:13:24,553 --> 00:13:27,287
Hospital corners. Very nice.
321
00:13:27,355 --> 00:13:28,455
Just like you taught me.
322
00:13:28,557 --> 00:13:29,989
One of the many priceless lessons
323
00:13:30,058 --> 00:13:31,791
I will carry with me
out into this world.
324
00:13:31,860 --> 00:13:34,094
We figured with Oliver's room so clean
325
00:13:34,162 --> 00:13:35,762
and all of his many chores completed,
326
00:13:35,864 --> 00:13:38,031
it'd be a nice time to start
reading your book aloud.
327
00:13:38,100 --> 00:13:39,332
How wonderful.
328
00:13:39,434 --> 00:13:40,567
You boys enjoy your reading.
329
00:13:40,669 --> 00:13:41,601
We sure will.
330
00:13:41,703 --> 00:13:43,269
My only critique of the book...
331
00:13:43,371 --> 00:13:44,671
it's not long enough.
332
00:13:44,696 --> 00:13:45,715
Yeah, yeah.
333
00:13:56,618 --> 00:13:57,851
What about that guy?
334
00:13:59,521 --> 00:14:02,222
He's in a three-piece suit
and looks constipated.
335
00:14:02,324 --> 00:14:03,690
He's like a white Richard.
336
00:14:05,160 --> 00:14:06,126
Okay.
337
00:14:07,863 --> 00:14:09,429
How about that one?
338
00:14:09,498 --> 00:14:12,031
- Oh! He is pretty.
- Mm-hmm.
339
00:14:12,134 --> 00:14:13,766
I like pretty.
340
00:14:13,869 --> 00:14:16,002
Time to go in for the kill.
341
00:14:16,104 --> 00:14:17,804
Okay. Right. Come here.
342
00:14:17,906 --> 00:14:19,472
Take this off.
343
00:14:19,574 --> 00:14:21,107
Go do it. You got 'im.
344
00:14:27,816 --> 00:14:29,182
"Go in for the kill"?
345
00:14:29,284 --> 00:14:31,417
What is happening with my life?
346
00:14:31,520 --> 00:14:32,652
You know, three nights ago,
347
00:14:32,721 --> 00:14:34,120
I was lying in bed next to my husband
348
00:14:34,222 --> 00:14:36,589
watching TV shows on separate computers.
349
00:14:37,859 --> 00:14:39,392
What am I even doing here?
350
00:14:39,494 --> 00:14:42,295
Getting back at Richard for cheating.
351
00:14:42,847 --> 00:14:44,647
Richard's not cheating, okay?
352
00:14:44,749 --> 00:14:46,449
I confronted him
before I left the house.
353
00:14:46,551 --> 00:14:47,883
There's... There's no one else.
354
00:14:47,986 --> 00:14:50,453
Oh, he's lying to cover his ass
for the divorce.
355
00:14:50,555 --> 00:14:52,521
No, that's not it.
356
00:14:54,492 --> 00:14:57,026
He said he doesn't
enjoy my company anymore.
357
00:14:57,128 --> 00:14:59,895
- What?
- Yeah.
358
00:14:59,998 --> 00:15:02,832
He said he'd rather be all alone
than be with me.
359
00:15:04,068 --> 00:15:06,068
Am I really that awful?
360
00:15:08,640 --> 00:15:10,473
I knew it. I am that awful.
361
00:15:11,697 --> 00:15:13,325
- Why didn't you say something?
- Why didn't you?
362
00:15:13,411 --> 00:15:14,580
And lie to our friend?
363
00:15:14,658 --> 00:15:16,933
- That's all you do!
- Oh, God!
364
00:15:18,544 --> 00:15:21,786
Doris, obviously,
we don't think you're awful.
365
00:15:21,865 --> 00:15:23,065
Are you difficult?
366
00:15:23,167 --> 00:15:24,199
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
367
00:15:24,268 --> 00:15:26,375
But you're an amazing person, too.
368
00:15:26,484 --> 00:15:28,799
You know this whole situation
is really more about Richard.
369
00:15:28,868 --> 00:15:30,467
If he doesn't love everything about you,
370
00:15:30,547 --> 00:15:32,303
then you're probably
better off without him.
371
00:15:32,371 --> 00:15:33,871
Yeah. To hell with Richard!
372
00:15:33,940 --> 00:15:36,091
Let's throw all the suits
in his Aston Martin
373
00:15:36,169 --> 00:15:37,474
and set it on fire!
374
00:15:38,685 --> 00:15:40,277
- Thank you, guys.
- Oh, honey.
375
00:15:40,346 --> 00:15:41,679
Mm.
376
00:15:43,043 --> 00:15:46,979
You know, I've been with Richard
for so long,
377
00:15:47,047 --> 00:15:48,914
I've forgotten what it's like
to be alone.
378
00:15:49,016 --> 00:15:49,948
Oh, it's awesome.
379
00:15:50,050 --> 00:15:51,450
You get to sleep diagonally in bed,
380
00:15:51,519 --> 00:15:53,352
you don't have to have sex
with the same person
381
00:15:53,420 --> 00:15:54,620
over and over and over again,
382
00:15:54,688 --> 00:15:56,722
and you only get your kids
half the time.
383
00:15:57,791 --> 00:16:00,159
Being in a good marriage is so unfair.
384
00:16:00,227 --> 00:16:02,528
I can't take a piggyback ride
on Malcolm Smith,
385
00:16:02,596 --> 00:16:04,696
and I have my kids
the whole stupid time!
386
00:16:04,765 --> 00:16:06,064
- Oh, you poor thing.
- Aww.
387
00:16:06,133 --> 00:16:07,699
- We're here for you.
- Yeah.
388
00:16:13,140 --> 00:16:14,206
We're off to the movies.
389
00:16:14,275 --> 00:16:15,474
But it doesn't start for another hour.
390
00:16:15,576 --> 00:16:16,675
Oh, we're heading out early
391
00:16:16,744 --> 00:16:18,210
so we can drive
well under the speed limit.
392
00:16:18,279 --> 00:16:19,178
Safety first.
393
00:16:19,280 --> 00:16:20,946
I'm transporting precious cargo here.
394
00:16:21,048 --> 00:16:23,215
Have a great night, everybody.
395
00:16:24,418 --> 00:16:25,651
I love you, Dad.
396
00:16:25,753 --> 00:16:26,685
Hold on.
397
00:16:26,787 --> 00:16:28,987
I love you, too, son.
398
00:16:30,191 --> 00:16:32,157
What's thi... What?
399
00:16:33,260 --> 00:16:34,359
Well, well, well.
400
00:16:34,428 --> 00:16:36,495
What do we have here?
401
00:16:36,597 --> 00:16:38,597
Oliver, is this marijuana?
402
00:16:38,666 --> 00:16:40,365
Oh, my.
403
00:16:40,434 --> 00:16:41,400
You're grounded.
404
00:16:41,468 --> 00:16:42,401
I'm being framed.
405
00:16:42,503 --> 00:16:43,969
We both know you planted this on me.
406
00:16:44,071 --> 00:16:45,904
I mean, this jacket
doesn't even have pockets!
407
00:16:45,973 --> 00:16:47,472
No movie for you tonight.
408
00:16:47,541 --> 00:16:49,174
No way! That's so messed up!
409
00:16:49,276 --> 00:16:50,242
We're still going.
410
00:16:50,344 --> 00:16:51,577
Okay, Oliver, wait.
411
00:16:51,645 --> 00:16:53,879
This is clearly important to Dad.
412
00:16:53,981 --> 00:16:55,414
And after everything he's done for us,
413
00:16:55,482 --> 00:16:56,782
I think we owe it to him
414
00:16:56,850 --> 00:16:59,084
to stop thinking
about ourselves for once
415
00:16:59,153 --> 00:17:01,787
and just stay home and take the picture.
416
00:17:03,057 --> 00:17:04,122
Fine.
417
00:17:07,528 --> 00:17:09,494
Who gave this to you? I'll kill them.
418
00:17:09,563 --> 00:17:10,896
It's Italian seasoning.
419
00:17:10,965 --> 00:17:12,864
Oh, is that what
they're calling it these days?
420
00:17:12,967 --> 00:17:14,433
Hmm?
421
00:17:18,505 --> 00:17:19,738
Okay, Taylor,
422
00:17:19,840 --> 00:17:22,407
just a smidge more batter
on your forehead.
423
00:17:22,509 --> 00:17:23,675
How's it looking?
424
00:17:23,777 --> 00:17:24,776
All set.
425
00:17:25,779 --> 00:17:26,712
This is awesome.
426
00:17:26,814 --> 00:17:27,980
When I get married,
427
00:17:28,048 --> 00:17:30,482
I'm making you walk me
down the aisle like this.
428
00:17:30,584 --> 00:17:31,917
Oliver, you ready?
429
00:17:33,487 --> 00:17:35,973
Aww! Look who's up past his bedtime.
430
00:17:36,059 --> 00:17:37,522
I appreciate you guys
making this happen.
431
00:17:37,591 --> 00:17:40,259
It means a lot to me, and it's
gonna mean a lot to your mom.
432
00:17:40,361 --> 00:17:41,893
Come on, guys! Have some fun with it.
433
00:17:45,232 --> 00:17:46,598
Oh!
434
00:17:46,700 --> 00:17:48,300
Uh, Taylor, tongue out.
435
00:17:49,236 --> 00:17:50,802
Oliver, uh, lick the frosting.
436
00:17:51,572 --> 00:17:53,138
Mr. Otto, um, act surprised.
437
00:17:54,041 --> 00:17:56,375
Three, two, one.
438
00:17:57,177 --> 00:17:58,877
Perfect.
439
00:17:58,946 --> 00:18:01,179
I wish life was this fun
when I got grounded.
440
00:18:01,248 --> 00:18:03,181
I wish I had parents around
to ground me at all.
441
00:18:03,250 --> 00:18:04,950
Hey, why don't you guys jump in here?
442
00:18:05,019 --> 00:18:07,185
Then in 10 years,
we'll re-create this one, too.
443
00:18:07,254 --> 00:18:08,453
- Really?
- Yeah.
444
00:18:08,522 --> 00:18:10,622
You guys are gonna be around
a long time. Come on.
445
00:18:13,861 --> 00:18:15,761
Setting the timer.
446
00:18:15,863 --> 00:18:17,696
Three...
447
00:18:17,765 --> 00:18:19,197
two, one!
448
00:18:22,036 --> 00:18:25,037
Wait. Can we take another one?
Because I want a copy.
449
00:18:25,139 --> 00:18:27,239
Trip, you know you can just...
450
00:18:27,308 --> 00:18:28,507
Let's take another one for Trip.
451
00:18:37,885 --> 00:18:39,918
So... did you meet anyone?
452
00:18:40,020 --> 00:18:41,219
Oh, I don't know.
453
00:18:41,322 --> 00:18:44,690
Does the name Malcolm Smith
mean anything to you?
454
00:18:44,758 --> 00:18:46,391
Does the name Gerard Manley Hopkins
455
00:18:46,493 --> 00:18:47,859
mean anything to you?
456
00:18:47,928 --> 00:18:49,661
See how it feels when you ask someone
457
00:18:49,730 --> 00:18:51,697
if they know someone
you know they don't know?
458
00:18:51,765 --> 00:18:53,565
He's a pro basketball player.
459
00:18:53,634 --> 00:18:55,233
And he thought I was hot.
460
00:18:55,336 --> 00:18:56,868
Ohh! Tell me all about it.
461
00:18:56,970 --> 00:19:00,505
Well, he came up to me at the bar,
462
00:19:00,574 --> 00:19:02,040
and we talked a bit,
463
00:19:02,142 --> 00:19:05,110
and then he said
he'd like to, you know...
464
00:19:05,179 --> 00:19:07,245
♪ Bow-chicki-bow-bowww ♪
465
00:19:07,314 --> 00:19:10,048
♪ Mama-na-nanananananana ♪
466
00:19:10,150 --> 00:19:12,684
- Ah! Nice!
- Suck it, motherhood and time!
467
00:19:12,786 --> 00:19:14,653
Sweet.
468
00:19:14,755 --> 00:19:16,655
Thanks for making me get back out there.
469
00:19:16,724 --> 00:19:18,623
I may not be feeling my best,
470
00:19:18,692 --> 00:19:22,127
but it's nice to know I still got it.
471
00:19:22,229 --> 00:19:24,329
As far as I'm concerned,
you've always had it.
472
00:19:27,534 --> 00:19:29,234
You still enjoy my company, right?
473
00:19:29,336 --> 00:19:31,470
Of course. Always.
474
00:19:31,577 --> 00:19:32,614
Just checking.
475
00:19:37,907 --> 00:19:39,473
Is that the basketball player's number?
476
00:19:39,551 --> 00:19:41,131
- Yep.
- Mm.
477
00:19:59,668 --> 00:20:02,119
So, you just swipe through
until you find someone you like.
478
00:20:02,190 --> 00:20:03,603
Ooh! Look at all these choices.
479
00:20:03,650 --> 00:20:05,093
All sorts of shapes, sizes.
480
00:20:05,134 --> 00:20:06,594
It's like online shopping!
481
00:20:06,628 --> 00:20:08,330
What's the return policy?
482
00:20:08,361 --> 00:20:10,736
Oh, my God. Principal Ablin!
483
00:20:10,761 --> 00:20:13,410
God, let's see his pictures.
484
00:20:13,496 --> 00:20:15,449
Holy crap, he's on a horse!
485
00:20:15,519 --> 00:20:17,730
He is windsurfing in a shirt and tie!
486
00:20:17,785 --> 00:20:19,201
That is weird!
487
00:20:19,254 --> 00:20:20,669
Let me see some more.
488
00:20:22,140 --> 00:20:24,147
No! Oh, my God, you just swiped right.
489
00:20:24,178 --> 00:20:26,080
- Is that bad?
- What does that even mean?
490
00:20:26,114 --> 00:20:27,803
It means you're into him.
491
00:20:27,842 --> 00:20:30,592
Katie, I hate you!
492
00:20:30,638 --> 00:20:32,530
Oh, my God, you matched!
493
00:20:32,587 --> 00:20:34,389
Unmatch! Unmatch!
494
00:20:34,428 --> 00:20:36,157
You can't.
495
00:20:39,891 --> 00:20:42,665
Hellooo, Doris.
496
00:20:43,024 --> 00:20:45,997
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com