1 00:00:01,970 --> 00:00:03,771 After Dr. Werthers' editorial, 2 00:00:03,805 --> 00:00:07,575 comic books were periodicals non grata in Riverdale, 3 00:00:07,609 --> 00:00:12,012 just as I'd become one of Pep Comics' go to writers. 4 00:00:12,045 --> 00:00:13,882 And speaking of Pep Comics, 5 00:00:13,915 --> 00:00:15,249 I noticed some of their recent output 6 00:00:15,282 --> 00:00:17,484 bore an uncanny resemblance to stories 7 00:00:17,519 --> 00:00:20,989 written by my favorite pulp writer of all time, Brad Rayberry. 8 00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:23,056 But where was Rayberry's credit? 9 00:00:23,090 --> 00:00:24,592 Mr. Fieldstone, 10 00:00:24,626 --> 00:00:26,928 the comic book that you just published 11 00:00:26,961 --> 00:00:29,363 is beat for beat, exactly like a story 12 00:00:29,396 --> 00:00:33,635 -that Brad Rayberry published ten years ago. -Hold on. 13 00:00:33,668 --> 00:00:37,137 The Rayberry story is called November County. 14 00:00:37,170 --> 00:00:39,574 Ours is called November Country. 15 00:00:39,607 --> 00:00:41,676 Is Pep Comics in the business of plagiarizing? 16 00:00:41,709 --> 00:00:44,812 That is an ugly word we never use around here, all right? 17 00:00:46,981 --> 00:00:48,783 But it's all coming back to me now. 18 00:00:48,816 --> 00:00:52,554 I dimly remember trying to reach out to this Rayberry guy 19 00:00:52,587 --> 00:00:55,657 about a rights inquiry. 20 00:00:55,690 --> 00:00:59,393 But he never returned my calls, so I just assumed he was probably dead. 21 00:01:03,497 --> 00:01:06,034 You know, I've been here a couple of days now, 22 00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:07,602 and I've observed a few things. 23 00:01:09,303 --> 00:01:11,138 Take a break, Archie. 24 00:01:15,543 --> 00:01:19,179 Your mom's concerned about you, and so am I. 25 00:01:19,212 --> 00:01:22,684 The lying, the sneaking around, that business with the Blossom girl. 26 00:01:22,717 --> 00:01:26,888 Your grades are mediocre and you're not pulling your weight around the house. 27 00:01:26,921 --> 00:01:28,022 How do you think your dad would feel? 28 00:01:28,056 --> 00:01:30,324 You think he'd be proud of you? 29 00:01:30,357 --> 00:01:32,459 What did he say to you before he went off to war? 30 00:01:33,126 --> 00:01:34,261 Remind me. 31 00:01:37,599 --> 00:01:39,366 He said that I should take care of mom. 32 00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:42,102 And be the man of the house. 33 00:01:42,135 --> 00:01:43,605 That's right. 34 00:01:43,638 --> 00:01:45,372 Now, do you think you've lived up to that? 35 00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:49,276 No, but you're going to start. 36 00:01:50,444 --> 00:01:51,478 Right now. 37 00:01:53,213 --> 00:01:54,281 Come with me. 38 00:01:55,583 --> 00:01:58,953 Mom, I'm sorry if I've been disrespecting you lately. 39 00:01:58,987 --> 00:02:00,555 I promise I'll be a better son to you. 40 00:02:01,856 --> 00:02:03,858 Thank you, Archie. 41 00:02:03,891 --> 00:02:05,492 I know you will, honey. 42 00:02:06,628 --> 00:02:08,495 Good man. 43 00:02:08,529 --> 00:02:10,397 Tomorrow we'll talk to your principal about getting your grades up. 44 00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:42,563 Veronica, can I bend your ear? 45 00:02:42,597 --> 00:02:44,065 Sure, Betty. 46 00:02:44,098 --> 00:02:45,298 What's on your mind? 47 00:02:46,968 --> 00:02:49,537 I was just wondering... 48 00:02:50,571 --> 00:02:51,906 what's sex like? 49 00:02:53,808 --> 00:02:57,578 My goodness. And I've barely just had my morning java. 50 00:02:57,612 --> 00:02:59,781 All I'm doing is reading about it. 51 00:02:59,814 --> 00:03:04,585 And I just wanted to talk to someone with, you know, firsthand experience. 52 00:03:07,320 --> 00:03:09,891 Okay, truth time. 53 00:03:12,093 --> 00:03:17,865 Now, you can't tell anyone, because I have a reputation to uphold. 54 00:03:18,700 --> 00:03:21,234 But, entre nous, 55 00:03:21,268 --> 00:03:24,706 I haven't actually gone all the way with a boy. 56 00:03:25,506 --> 00:03:26,808 Not yet. 57 00:03:28,275 --> 00:03:33,346 I just assumed because you're so... sexy. 58 00:03:34,148 --> 00:03:35,883 Thanks for noticing. 59 00:03:35,917 --> 00:03:40,220 But Betty, you don't have to have sex to be sexy. 60 00:03:42,757 --> 00:03:44,625 But how do you... 61 00:03:44,659 --> 00:03:46,160 How do I... 62 00:03:46,194 --> 00:03:49,630 carry myself more like you? 63 00:03:51,498 --> 00:03:55,570 Well, there are all sorts of tricks a woman can use 64 00:03:55,603 --> 00:04:00,373 to revel in her body and feel more sensual. 65 00:04:01,809 --> 00:04:03,544 Perfume is one. 66 00:04:03,578 --> 00:04:06,279 Or a heel that puts a sway in your step. 67 00:04:06,313 --> 00:04:09,517 But my favorite little trade secret... 68 00:04:11,953 --> 00:04:13,755 is wearing sexy lingerie. 69 00:04:15,790 --> 00:04:17,424 Lingerie? 70 00:04:17,457 --> 00:04:19,994 I like the way it makes me feel. 71 00:04:20,027 --> 00:04:22,530 The soft fabric against my skin, 72 00:04:22,563 --> 00:04:26,701 knowing that it makes my body look fantastic. 73 00:04:26,734 --> 00:04:30,838 Say, why don't you give lingerie a whirl? 74 00:04:30,872 --> 00:04:34,274 Come over to the Pembrooke after school and try some on. 75 00:04:34,307 --> 00:04:36,376 Okay, sure. 76 00:04:37,745 --> 00:04:40,114 Good morning, Antoinette. 77 00:04:40,148 --> 00:04:41,381 Here's your novel back. 78 00:04:43,551 --> 00:04:44,685 What did you think of it? 79 00:04:46,187 --> 00:04:47,054 Um... 80 00:04:49,456 --> 00:04:51,759 I like the cover. 81 00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:55,362 There's something aesthetically pleasing 82 00:04:55,395 --> 00:05:00,201 about two voluptuous, feminine forms in close proximity to each other. 83 00:05:00,234 --> 00:05:02,270 Voluptuous, huh? 84 00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:05,206 Well, how about you and I go to the Dark Room 85 00:05:05,239 --> 00:05:07,742 and grab a cappuccino and privacy, 86 00:05:07,775 --> 00:05:10,410 where we can feed each other apple butter about the cover art? 87 00:05:10,443 --> 00:05:12,146 Oh, no, I couldn't possibly. 88 00:05:12,180 --> 00:05:14,916 I'm far too busy getting ready to relaunch my precious Vixens. 89 00:05:14,949 --> 00:05:17,552 Ah, yes. Your paper-shakers. 90 00:05:17,585 --> 00:05:20,621 I would ask you to join, but I'm sure being a cheerleader 91 00:05:20,655 --> 00:05:23,524 is far too square an activity for a girl-greaser like you. 92 00:05:30,731 --> 00:05:33,868 Sir, I swear on a stack of Bibles that I'm going to double down 93 00:05:33,901 --> 00:05:36,504 on my schoolwork and get my grades up. 94 00:05:36,537 --> 00:05:38,639 I want to be at least a B student. 95 00:05:38,673 --> 00:05:41,108 I'm happy to hear that, Archie. 96 00:05:41,142 --> 00:05:43,678 I feel as if there's much... 97 00:05:43,711 --> 00:05:47,748 untapped potential within you. 98 00:05:47,782 --> 00:05:51,886 And Frank, your timing couldn't be better. I wonder... 99 00:05:51,919 --> 00:05:54,689 might I have a word with you, in private? 100 00:05:54,722 --> 00:05:55,923 Of course. 101 00:05:55,957 --> 00:05:57,992 Archie, will you excuse us? 102 00:05:58,926 --> 00:06:00,962 Um, sure. 103 00:06:05,766 --> 00:06:08,703 Okay, girls, let's fire it up and see what we're working with. 104 00:06:18,579 --> 00:06:19,881 Hope I'm not too late. 105 00:06:21,414 --> 00:06:23,450 I'm sorry, you're not on our list. 106 00:06:23,483 --> 00:06:28,455 -Better luck next year-- -Evelyn, are you the captain? 107 00:06:28,488 --> 00:06:30,625 Oh, no, that's right. That would be me. 108 00:06:30,658 --> 00:06:33,628 So quit biting at my ankles and shut your trap. 109 00:06:36,197 --> 00:06:38,032 You're not too late, Toni. 110 00:06:38,065 --> 00:06:40,735 In fact, you're first up. 111 00:06:40,768 --> 00:06:42,670 I assume you prepared a routine. 112 00:06:42,703 --> 00:06:43,571 I did. 113 00:06:46,473 --> 00:06:48,576 We got the pep. 114 00:06:48,609 --> 00:06:50,578 We got this... We got... 115 00:07:22,543 --> 00:07:27,815 Riverdale High School, that's our team. 116 00:07:27,848 --> 00:07:32,053 Well, razz my berries and put them in a jelly jar. 117 00:07:32,086 --> 00:07:35,957 I haven't seen that kind of pom-pom technique in years. 118 00:07:35,990 --> 00:07:38,826 Since I alone speak for the Vixens, 119 00:07:38,859 --> 00:07:43,698 I would like to officially offer you a spot on the squad. 120 00:07:43,731 --> 00:07:46,067 -Shouldn't we wait till we've seen everyone-- -Evelyn! 121 00:07:46,100 --> 00:07:49,337 Until you've proven you can do more than regurgitate a Doris Day shuffle, 122 00:07:49,370 --> 00:07:50,705 I suggest you zip it. 123 00:08:04,185 --> 00:08:07,388 So, it looks like I'll be sticking around a while. 124 00:08:07,421 --> 00:08:10,825 Principal Featherhead asked me to be the basketball team's head coach. 125 00:08:10,858 --> 00:08:12,526 Oh, that's great news, Frank. 126 00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:13,961 Well, now that the war's over, 127 00:08:13,995 --> 00:08:16,564 Featherhead wants to bring the Bulldogs back. 128 00:08:16,597 --> 00:08:19,100 Tryouts are tomorrow after school. 129 00:08:19,133 --> 00:08:21,302 I expect to see you there. 130 00:08:21,335 --> 00:08:24,638 Well, if it's all the same to you, Uncle Frank, I think I might sit this season out. 131 00:08:24,672 --> 00:08:26,240 But you love basketball. 132 00:08:28,476 --> 00:08:31,045 I've been told to focus on my studies, Mom. 133 00:08:31,078 --> 00:08:33,781 Archie, you're young. You can study and play basketball. 134 00:08:33,814 --> 00:08:35,149 You don't want me on the team. 135 00:08:36,484 --> 00:08:38,285 I'm no good. I'm out of practice. 136 00:08:38,319 --> 00:08:39,286 Archie. 137 00:08:39,320 --> 00:08:41,322 That's okay, Mary. 138 00:08:41,355 --> 00:08:44,592 If Archie doesn't feel like he's fit to play, he can contribute another way. 139 00:08:46,027 --> 00:08:46,961 As water-boy. 140 00:08:57,171 --> 00:08:59,240 What's the tale, nightingale? 141 00:08:59,273 --> 00:09:00,509 Come out and let me see. 142 00:09:00,541 --> 00:09:04,812 I'm... I am not sure. 143 00:09:04,845 --> 00:09:07,248 Don't be modest, Betty. It's just us girls. 144 00:09:13,287 --> 00:09:14,555 I knew it. 145 00:09:14,588 --> 00:09:16,290 I knew it would look perfect on you. 146 00:09:17,224 --> 00:09:18,859 Well, how do you feel? 147 00:09:18,893 --> 00:09:20,161 Sexy as sin? 148 00:09:20,194 --> 00:09:23,297 Hardly. I feel... embarrassed. 149 00:09:23,330 --> 00:09:24,899 Why? 150 00:09:24,932 --> 00:09:27,168 Bettie Page herself would go ape for you. 151 00:09:29,136 --> 00:09:30,438 This was a silly idea. 152 00:09:30,471 --> 00:09:32,339 -I'm gonna change. -Betty, wait. 153 00:09:33,074 --> 00:09:34,008 Come here. 154 00:09:36,610 --> 00:09:39,313 Give yourself a minute to get used to the lace. 155 00:09:41,615 --> 00:09:43,050 Deep breaths. 156 00:09:46,353 --> 00:09:48,789 Now look at yourself. 157 00:09:48,823 --> 00:09:52,126 Look at your beautiful body and repeat after me. 158 00:09:53,861 --> 00:09:58,766 "I am a gorgeous, powerful, sexy siren, 159 00:09:58,799 --> 00:10:01,068 at the height of my womanly powers." 160 00:10:03,237 --> 00:10:07,074 And may God have mercy on the boys of Riverdale High. 161 00:10:20,522 --> 00:10:23,624 Oh, wow. Mr. Rayberry, uh... 162 00:10:23,657 --> 00:10:25,793 I'm Jughead Jones. 163 00:10:25,826 --> 00:10:28,929 I'm a writer over at Pep Comics in Riverdale, 164 00:10:28,963 --> 00:10:31,065 and I know for a fact that they are plagiarizing 165 00:10:31,098 --> 00:10:33,968 and publishing your stories for monetary gain. 166 00:10:34,468 --> 00:10:35,336 Huh? 167 00:10:36,203 --> 00:10:37,238 They're ripping you off. 168 00:10:40,207 --> 00:10:44,278 I think you should send them a cease and desist letter 169 00:10:44,311 --> 00:10:46,615 -or sue them or something. -Yeah, hold on, hold on. 170 00:10:46,647 --> 00:10:48,983 You're employed by Pep Comics, 171 00:10:49,016 --> 00:10:51,051 and you want me to sue Pep Comics? 172 00:10:51,085 --> 00:10:52,153 Why? 173 00:10:52,186 --> 00:10:56,490 Well, that might be a bit extreme. 174 00:10:56,525 --> 00:10:58,692 But, uh... 175 00:10:59,528 --> 00:11:01,028 I think you're the tops. 176 00:11:01,061 --> 00:11:04,398 And I... You... You shouldn't be treated this way. 177 00:11:04,431 --> 00:11:08,503 I, um... I'm sure it's just some kind of misunderstanding. 178 00:11:08,537 --> 00:11:09,937 Uh, it's... It's... 179 00:11:11,105 --> 00:11:12,873 It's not. 180 00:11:12,907 --> 00:11:15,843 It's theft. I went through all of Pep Comics' back issues. 181 00:11:15,876 --> 00:11:19,013 They've poached like eight of your stories. 182 00:11:19,046 --> 00:11:22,316 Um, this is just the latest one. 183 00:11:27,454 --> 00:11:28,756 Spit it out, Evelyn. 184 00:11:30,525 --> 00:11:34,461 I have some concerns, 185 00:11:34,495 --> 00:11:36,463 about our new Vixen, Toni Topaz. 186 00:11:36,497 --> 00:11:39,800 Feeling threatened should only make you work harder. 187 00:11:39,833 --> 00:11:45,105 I just don't think that we should have girls like Toni on our squad. 188 00:11:45,139 --> 00:11:49,176 You best choose your next words very carefully, Evelyn. 189 00:11:49,210 --> 00:11:51,613 Riverdale High is fully integrated, as are the Vixens. 190 00:11:51,646 --> 00:11:53,047 If you have a problem with that-- 191 00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:56,450 No, my problem isn't with Toni being Black. It's... 192 00:11:56,483 --> 00:12:00,387 Well, it's with the fact that everyone knows that she's a lezzie. 193 00:12:00,421 --> 00:12:03,257 And I wouldn't be comfortable being naked in the locker room with her. 194 00:12:03,290 --> 00:12:06,894 I don't know where you heard such a disgusting rumor, Evelyn, 195 00:12:06,927 --> 00:12:10,297 but let me clue you in. Toni Topaz is not a... 196 00:12:11,365 --> 00:12:13,635 Whatever that word is. 197 00:12:13,668 --> 00:12:15,869 I wouldn't tolerate such behavior on my squad, 198 00:12:15,903 --> 00:12:18,939 so shut your damn mouth about it! 199 00:12:18,973 --> 00:12:21,342 Now, kindly put an egg in your shoe and beat it. 200 00:12:21,375 --> 00:12:24,011 A new episode of Oh, Mija is about to begin and you're not invited to stay and watch. 201 00:12:27,381 --> 00:12:28,816 Topaz. 202 00:12:28,849 --> 00:12:31,653 The scuttlebutt is you're a paper-shaker now. 203 00:12:31,686 --> 00:12:34,154 What happened? 204 00:12:34,188 --> 00:12:35,422 Let me guess. 205 00:12:35,456 --> 00:12:38,192 Still bird-dogging that redheaded closet-case? 206 00:12:38,225 --> 00:12:41,228 Well, not that I have to justify my actions to you, Lizzo, 207 00:12:41,262 --> 00:12:45,533 you're currently looking at Riverdale High's first Black cheerleader ever. 208 00:12:45,567 --> 00:12:49,069 Now, that may not mean a lot to you, but it does to me. 209 00:12:49,103 --> 00:12:50,771 So it's political for you. 210 00:12:50,804 --> 00:12:53,173 Yeah. Got it. That makes sense. 211 00:12:53,207 --> 00:12:55,776 Damn, Topaz. You must really be on the hook. 212 00:12:57,679 --> 00:12:59,013 Not that I blame you. 213 00:12:59,046 --> 00:13:01,549 That's one cherry lollipop I'd happily lick. 214 00:13:15,764 --> 00:13:17,498 What the heck did you do with my car? 215 00:13:17,532 --> 00:13:20,868 Well, that hot rod was an unnecessary distraction, Archie. 216 00:13:20,901 --> 00:13:22,637 Don't worry, it's safe and sound, 217 00:13:22,671 --> 00:13:24,305 and you'll get it back once your grades are where they should be. 218 00:13:24,338 --> 00:13:26,273 How do you expect me to get to school? 219 00:13:26,307 --> 00:13:29,544 You can walk, take the bus, ride your bike. 220 00:13:29,577 --> 00:13:32,413 Or you can hitch a ride with me, but you better hustle. 221 00:13:32,446 --> 00:13:35,082 You don't want to be late for your first day as water-boy. 222 00:13:43,658 --> 00:13:45,926 Well, are you wearing them? 223 00:13:47,861 --> 00:13:49,997 Don't flip out, but I am not. 224 00:13:50,030 --> 00:13:53,067 Betty, how will you ever get used to lace panties 225 00:13:53,100 --> 00:13:54,902 if you don't wear them every day? 226 00:13:54,935 --> 00:13:57,438 You know, I know, but there's gym class later today, 227 00:13:57,471 --> 00:13:59,173 and I didn't want people to see me wearing them 228 00:13:59,206 --> 00:14:02,142 and think that I was some kind of nymphomaniac. 229 00:14:02,176 --> 00:14:06,815 Yet another word invented by men who want to gaslight women. 230 00:14:06,847 --> 00:14:11,118 Anyway, now that I'm your new wing woman, I've been thinking. 231 00:14:12,687 --> 00:14:15,089 It's time we found you a man, 232 00:14:15,122 --> 00:14:17,324 who can appreciate what an incredible, 233 00:14:17,358 --> 00:14:20,562 powerful, beautiful knockout you are. 234 00:14:20,595 --> 00:14:23,598 So, now that you and Kevin are no more, who do you have your eye on? 235 00:14:24,632 --> 00:14:27,334 There is someone, actually. 236 00:14:27,368 --> 00:14:28,570 Don't be coy. 237 00:14:28,603 --> 00:14:29,571 Who's the lucky duck? 238 00:14:31,405 --> 00:14:32,339 It's Archie. 239 00:14:36,910 --> 00:14:40,914 Yes, Archie is a teen dream boat, isn't he? 240 00:14:44,519 --> 00:14:46,487 Well, you're in luck. 241 00:14:46,521 --> 00:14:49,591 I spied him in the lounge mere seconds ago. 242 00:14:49,624 --> 00:14:52,493 So why don't you march on in there and ask him out? 243 00:14:52,527 --> 00:14:55,262 Let's do it now, before you can talk yourself out of it. 244 00:15:00,367 --> 00:15:01,268 Hi, Archie. 245 00:15:02,936 --> 00:15:05,673 Betty, hey. What's the scoop? 246 00:15:07,776 --> 00:15:09,577 The scoop is... 247 00:15:13,380 --> 00:15:16,483 Do you maybe want to go to the movies with me? 248 00:15:16,518 --> 00:15:18,686 The movies? 249 00:15:18,720 --> 00:15:21,989 Well, heck yeah, Betty. I would love to take you to the movies. 250 00:15:22,022 --> 00:15:23,157 Really? 251 00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:27,261 But I can't. 252 00:15:30,063 --> 00:15:32,433 I can't right now. 253 00:15:32,466 --> 00:15:34,536 It's my Uncle Frank. He's being a real pain in the ass. 254 00:15:34,569 --> 00:15:37,705 He's got me on a trip for biscuits making me the team water-boy. 255 00:15:39,707 --> 00:15:43,511 Maybe he'll ease up in the next couple of weeks and we can go then? 256 00:15:46,648 --> 00:15:49,416 Of course. Yeah, another time. It's fine. 257 00:15:54,622 --> 00:15:57,525 At least he was nice enough to come up with an excuse. 258 00:15:58,526 --> 00:16:00,394 Or it's the truth. 259 00:16:00,427 --> 00:16:04,298 And you just need to let Archie work out his family strife for a bit. 260 00:16:06,233 --> 00:16:10,572 Say, why don't we nab ourselves a couple of good time boys 261 00:16:10,605 --> 00:16:11,539 and go on a double date? 262 00:16:12,841 --> 00:16:14,676 With... With who? 263 00:16:14,709 --> 00:16:17,377 Isn't there an all-boys private school down the lane? 264 00:16:17,411 --> 00:16:19,747 -You mean Stonewall Prep? -Mmm. 265 00:16:19,781 --> 00:16:21,549 J'adore private school boys. 266 00:16:22,282 --> 00:16:24,384 So sexually frustrated. 267 00:16:24,418 --> 00:16:26,554 So easy to torment and manipulate. 268 00:16:29,189 --> 00:16:30,057 Hmm. 269 00:16:54,749 --> 00:16:56,183 Let's see what we have here. 270 00:17:03,123 --> 00:17:05,459 "A story of forbidden feminine love." 271 00:17:08,362 --> 00:17:09,429 I knew it. 272 00:17:09,463 --> 00:17:10,565 Excuse me. 273 00:17:10,598 --> 00:17:12,132 Can I help you with something, Evelyn? 274 00:17:13,735 --> 00:17:15,503 You know, it's strange, Toni. 275 00:17:15,537 --> 00:17:19,339 When I asked her, Cheryl insisted that you weren't gaga for girls. 276 00:17:20,675 --> 00:17:22,476 This book, however, tells a different story. 277 00:17:22,510 --> 00:17:25,379 As a matter of fact, I read all kinds of books. 278 00:17:25,412 --> 00:17:28,282 So how about you quit sticking your nose in my business 279 00:17:28,315 --> 00:17:30,919 before I serve you up a knuckle sandwich? 280 00:17:30,952 --> 00:17:32,720 Can you dig it? 281 00:17:32,754 --> 00:17:34,288 Now, why don't you tell me 282 00:17:34,321 --> 00:17:36,658 exactly what Cheryl said. 283 00:17:38,927 --> 00:17:40,127 So, what do you think? 284 00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:42,864 First issue, hot off the presses. 285 00:17:42,897 --> 00:17:44,933 This is so boss, boss. 286 00:17:44,966 --> 00:17:47,301 I mean, to see it in full color and in print with my name. 287 00:17:47,334 --> 00:17:48,736 And that's just the final proof. 288 00:17:51,204 --> 00:17:53,675 Which one of you shucksters is Al Fieldstone? 289 00:17:53,708 --> 00:17:55,877 I am. Who are you? 290 00:17:55,910 --> 00:17:57,612 Brad Rayberry. 291 00:17:57,645 --> 00:18:00,080 You've been plagiarizing my short stories for your comic books. 292 00:18:00,113 --> 00:18:02,717 Hey, now. What's to say that two different writers 293 00:18:02,750 --> 00:18:05,319 couldn't have had similar ideas concurrently? 294 00:18:05,352 --> 00:18:08,723 Once maybe, but eight times? 295 00:18:08,756 --> 00:18:10,925 Do you think that's going to pass muster in the courts? 296 00:18:10,959 --> 00:18:12,026 The courts? 297 00:18:12,060 --> 00:18:13,493 You listen to me, pal. 298 00:18:13,528 --> 00:18:16,129 I have got the top lawyers in New York on retainer. 299 00:18:16,163 --> 00:18:18,733 Uh, fellas, acknowledging that... 300 00:18:18,766 --> 00:18:23,403 someone at some time might have read a book and been inspired by it, 301 00:18:23,437 --> 00:18:25,339 what if we put Mr. Rayberry's name 302 00:18:25,372 --> 00:18:28,610 on all future reprints of stories that are similar to his, 303 00:18:28,643 --> 00:18:32,279 and pay him a modest but appropriate fee 304 00:18:32,312 --> 00:18:33,581 for the rights to adapt his work? 305 00:18:33,615 --> 00:18:35,115 How much dough are we talking about? 306 00:18:36,618 --> 00:18:41,355 -How about-- -How about a $2 adaptation fee per story? 307 00:18:45,860 --> 00:18:47,895 Deal. 308 00:18:47,929 --> 00:18:49,496 But I want to be compensated for the eight stories you've already adapted. 309 00:18:50,230 --> 00:18:51,365 Comprende? 310 00:18:54,502 --> 00:18:55,435 Deal. 311 00:19:00,273 --> 00:19:02,510 Well, all's well that ends well, eh, Mr. Rayberry? 312 00:19:03,276 --> 00:19:04,512 We shall see. 313 00:19:04,545 --> 00:19:06,547 So how's this gonna work, anyway? 314 00:19:06,581 --> 00:19:09,517 It's up to you. You, um, could adapt your own stories 315 00:19:09,550 --> 00:19:13,621 or you could get a a different Pep Comics writer to do it. 316 00:19:13,655 --> 00:19:14,656 Writers like you, maybe? 317 00:19:16,991 --> 00:19:19,060 It would be an honor, sir. 318 00:19:19,093 --> 00:19:22,964 I love all your stories in all the different pulp magazines. 319 00:19:22,997 --> 00:19:26,701 Weird Tales, Startling Stories, Fantastic Adventures. 320 00:19:27,702 --> 00:19:29,236 Does, uh... 321 00:19:29,269 --> 00:19:31,405 Does your old man approve of your literary aspirations? 322 00:19:31,438 --> 00:19:32,674 'Cause mine sure as hell didn't. 323 00:19:33,340 --> 00:19:35,442 Couldn't tell you. 324 00:19:35,475 --> 00:19:37,912 Did he leave the mortal coil? I'm sorry. 325 00:19:39,047 --> 00:19:40,882 Oh, no, uh... 326 00:19:40,915 --> 00:19:42,249 He lives in Toledo. 327 00:19:42,282 --> 00:19:44,552 I think. He, uh... 328 00:19:44,585 --> 00:19:46,353 There was this big, messy robbery 329 00:19:46,386 --> 00:19:50,892 in town a few years back, and he was the prime suspect. 330 00:19:50,925 --> 00:19:54,896 So he hopped on his bike and split from Riverdale. 331 00:19:55,963 --> 00:19:57,364 Have you written about that? 332 00:20:00,034 --> 00:20:02,503 -No. -You should. 333 00:20:02,537 --> 00:20:05,039 You write anything other than funny books? 334 00:20:05,073 --> 00:20:08,609 Yeah, no, I... I write short stories, but it's been a while. 335 00:20:11,344 --> 00:20:13,480 If I wrote a short story, would you read it? 336 00:20:16,249 --> 00:20:19,486 Crud. We were having such a swell time. 337 00:20:23,091 --> 00:20:24,491 I'm yanking your chain. 338 00:20:26,094 --> 00:20:27,394 Sure I would. 339 00:20:27,427 --> 00:20:29,097 Pass me the ketchup, will you? 340 00:21:42,503 --> 00:21:45,673 Good morning. I have good news for you, Archie. 341 00:21:45,706 --> 00:21:46,841 What's that? 342 00:21:46,874 --> 00:21:48,109 I got you a job. 343 00:21:48,142 --> 00:21:50,645 Pumping gas at Pop's. 344 00:21:50,678 --> 00:21:53,281 That's what being man of the house means, Archie. 345 00:21:53,313 --> 00:21:54,916 Taking on multiple responsibilities. 346 00:22:00,288 --> 00:22:01,354 Jughead. 347 00:22:01,388 --> 00:22:03,090 This is fat city. 348 00:22:03,124 --> 00:22:04,357 We have to celebrate. 349 00:22:04,391 --> 00:22:06,227 Wanna go to Pop's and treat us to burgers? 350 00:22:06,260 --> 00:22:08,029 Aw, man, I wish I could. 351 00:22:08,062 --> 00:22:09,864 But after school, I'm actually going over to Mr. Rayberry's house. 352 00:22:09,897 --> 00:22:12,332 I want to him to read this new story I wrote. 353 00:22:17,470 --> 00:22:18,973 Cheryl Blossom, we got a big problem. 354 00:22:19,006 --> 00:22:20,074 I concur. 355 00:22:20,107 --> 00:22:21,175 -It's Midge, right? -No. 356 00:22:21,209 --> 00:22:22,243 It's you telling Evelyn Evernever 357 00:22:22,276 --> 00:22:23,678 that I don't like girls. 358 00:22:23,711 --> 00:22:25,213 She put down that you were a lezzie. 359 00:22:25,246 --> 00:22:27,081 I defended your honor and reputation. 360 00:22:27,114 --> 00:22:28,549 That's the problem. 361 00:22:28,583 --> 00:22:30,417 You don't get to speak for me. 362 00:22:30,450 --> 00:22:32,153 You don't get to define me. 363 00:22:32,186 --> 00:22:33,688 You don't get to put me in a box. 364 00:22:33,721 --> 00:22:35,323 I was just trying to protect you. 365 00:22:35,355 --> 00:22:37,490 I don't need a savior. 366 00:22:37,525 --> 00:22:40,695 I'm not ashamed of who I am or who I like. 367 00:22:40,728 --> 00:22:43,197 I never have been and I never will be. 368 00:22:43,231 --> 00:22:44,999 I don't know what you want me to say. 369 00:22:46,200 --> 00:22:47,467 I... I'm sorry. 370 00:22:47,500 --> 00:22:49,804 I'm done wasting my time on you, Cheryl. 371 00:22:49,837 --> 00:22:51,572 And I'm done with all this pussy footing. 372 00:22:51,606 --> 00:22:53,440 So... 373 00:22:53,473 --> 00:22:58,012 I hope that you get to wherever you're going, but I'm getting off this train. 374 00:22:58,045 --> 00:22:59,146 Life's too damn short. 375 00:23:02,116 --> 00:23:03,050 Wait, Toni. 376 00:23:10,390 --> 00:23:11,525 You're right. 377 00:23:13,094 --> 00:23:14,394 I... 378 00:23:15,296 --> 00:23:17,531 am attracted to girls. 379 00:23:19,100 --> 00:23:20,034 Well, that's a start. 380 00:23:22,970 --> 00:23:25,606 And I think maybe, um... 381 00:23:26,607 --> 00:23:28,943 I'm attracted to you. 382 00:23:30,477 --> 00:23:32,780 You think or you know? 383 00:23:37,919 --> 00:23:38,853 I... I know. 384 00:23:42,123 --> 00:23:43,423 Finally. 385 00:23:44,525 --> 00:23:45,893 We're getting somewhere. 386 00:23:47,494 --> 00:23:48,663 Hey, Mr. Rayberry. 387 00:23:49,330 --> 00:23:51,032 I brought a short story. 388 00:23:51,065 --> 00:23:52,900 Some prose I wrote last night. 389 00:23:53,534 --> 00:23:54,702 Would you look at? 390 00:23:54,735 --> 00:23:56,037 Just give me your two cents? 391 00:23:56,070 --> 00:23:59,006 Sure, but I'm not gonna pull any punches. 392 00:23:59,040 --> 00:24:00,741 Of course. Thank you. 393 00:24:00,775 --> 00:24:03,577 You want some tea? 394 00:24:03,611 --> 00:24:06,047 -Heck, yes. -Mmm-hmm. I'll be right back. 395 00:24:06,080 --> 00:24:07,615 Make yourself comfortable. 396 00:24:44,285 --> 00:24:47,054 Wait. So, Kevin and Clay are also? 397 00:24:47,088 --> 00:24:50,490 Yeah. But not many people know about them. 398 00:24:50,524 --> 00:24:52,460 So, don't go around quoting it. 399 00:24:52,492 --> 00:24:53,961 No, no, of course not. 400 00:24:56,330 --> 00:24:59,166 When I was ten, my mother and her sister 401 00:24:59,200 --> 00:25:01,268 had an awful falling out. 402 00:25:01,302 --> 00:25:05,773 My Aunt Carol ended up moving to Greenwich Village to be a writer. 403 00:25:05,806 --> 00:25:09,076 My mother called her awful things, Toni. 404 00:25:10,244 --> 00:25:11,645 Like... 405 00:25:13,881 --> 00:25:16,217 Sapphic, sexual deviant. 406 00:25:16,250 --> 00:25:17,585 Wow. 407 00:25:17,618 --> 00:25:20,554 That was around the time that I started realizing 408 00:25:20,588 --> 00:25:24,125 maybe I was like Aunt Carol. 409 00:25:25,693 --> 00:25:30,998 Even though I'd never get to live like her, loving women. 410 00:25:33,034 --> 00:25:35,870 I knew I liked girls as much as I liked boys 411 00:25:35,903 --> 00:25:38,939 for as long as I could remember. 412 00:25:39,907 --> 00:25:41,776 My parents caught me necking 413 00:25:41,809 --> 00:25:45,546 with my neighbor, Glenda, when I was 13 years old. 414 00:25:45,579 --> 00:25:47,281 And then they kicked me out of the house. 415 00:25:47,314 --> 00:25:48,816 Oh, no, Toni. 416 00:25:48,849 --> 00:25:50,918 And then I moved in with my grandma. 417 00:25:52,787 --> 00:25:56,257 And I can be exactly who I wanna be. 418 00:25:57,458 --> 00:25:59,794 Your grandmother approves? 419 00:26:00,428 --> 00:26:01,295 More or less. 420 00:26:04,999 --> 00:26:08,269 I always believed if I didn't want my family to disown me, 421 00:26:08,302 --> 00:26:12,640 I would have to spend my life playing a part. 422 00:26:14,008 --> 00:26:16,744 That's what that whole thing with Archie was. A... 423 00:26:17,711 --> 00:26:20,681 -A role. -And now? 424 00:26:23,552 --> 00:26:24,852 Now... 425 00:26:26,555 --> 00:26:30,458 I am ready for something else. 426 00:26:30,491 --> 00:26:31,725 I can dig that. 427 00:26:43,437 --> 00:26:48,075 Archie Andrews. Riverdale's resident grease monkey. 428 00:26:49,511 --> 00:26:51,045 You need a fill-up, Julian? 429 00:26:51,078 --> 00:26:51,879 Sure do. 430 00:26:51,912 --> 00:26:53,881 And some air in the tires. 431 00:26:59,153 --> 00:27:03,558 So, Betty, is it true your parents run the television station? 432 00:27:03,592 --> 00:27:05,493 Yeah, they do. RIVW. 433 00:27:05,527 --> 00:27:08,729 How come you're not on their dance show, Riverdale Grandstand? 434 00:27:08,762 --> 00:27:10,664 Oh, I don't know, uh... 435 00:27:10,698 --> 00:27:12,433 It's a pretty big time commitment. 436 00:27:12,466 --> 00:27:15,469 Three hours every day after school. 437 00:27:15,504 --> 00:27:18,272 Gee, don't you like to dance? 438 00:27:19,773 --> 00:27:21,876 Of course she does. 439 00:27:21,909 --> 00:27:24,513 Anyway. What do you two cool cats like to do 440 00:27:24,546 --> 00:27:28,082 when you're not out on the town with Riverdale High's ginchiest gals? 441 00:27:28,115 --> 00:27:31,418 We're on the debate team and the basketball team. 442 00:27:31,452 --> 00:27:32,853 And the Honor Society. 443 00:27:32,887 --> 00:27:34,623 And... 444 00:27:42,830 --> 00:27:44,566 Hey there, Archie. 445 00:27:44,599 --> 00:27:47,168 Thought my newest gas attendant might need a little pick me up? 446 00:27:47,201 --> 00:27:50,371 Yeah, you don't know the half of it, Pop. 447 00:27:50,404 --> 00:27:54,509 Heard they're getting the basketball team going again, now that the war is over. 448 00:27:54,543 --> 00:27:57,044 Yeah. Yeah, my uncle's the coach. 449 00:27:57,077 --> 00:28:01,315 You know, I used to watch your dad play when he was in school. 450 00:28:01,348 --> 00:28:04,685 Best rebounder Riverdale High had ever seen. 451 00:28:04,718 --> 00:28:08,422 Well, he and I, we used to play a lot, growing up. Right up until... 452 00:28:11,725 --> 00:28:13,727 he went off to the war. 453 00:28:13,761 --> 00:28:16,830 Proud of him for serving our country the way he did. 454 00:28:17,865 --> 00:28:19,934 He was a true hero. 455 00:28:20,801 --> 00:28:22,102 Yeah, he was, Pop. 456 00:28:22,970 --> 00:28:24,305 He honest-to-gosh was. 457 00:28:29,210 --> 00:28:31,580 I read until the sun came up. 458 00:28:31,613 --> 00:28:33,180 Mr. Rayberry's novel, 459 00:28:33,214 --> 00:28:35,550 The Jupiter Journals was like Flash Gordon, 460 00:28:35,584 --> 00:28:37,586 as if Fitzgerald had written it. 461 00:28:37,619 --> 00:28:40,354 And I couldn't believe that Mr. Rayberry was just letting it sit, 462 00:28:40,387 --> 00:28:42,456 unpublished in a cardboard box. 463 00:28:43,390 --> 00:28:44,892 So, Betty, 464 00:28:44,925 --> 00:28:47,294 what happened when Willie walked you home last night? 465 00:28:47,328 --> 00:28:49,230 Nothing. No butterflies. 466 00:28:50,364 --> 00:28:52,132 Oh, dear. 467 00:28:52,166 --> 00:28:54,034 Is it that your heart's still set on Archie, do you think? 468 00:28:54,068 --> 00:28:56,337 Yes, which means I'm doomed. 469 00:28:56,370 --> 00:28:59,473 Betty, we talked about this. 470 00:28:59,507 --> 00:29:02,876 Romeo and Juliet had logistical problems, but they figured it out. 471 00:29:02,910 --> 00:29:04,311 Veronica, they both died. 472 00:29:05,246 --> 00:29:06,715 Not until act five. 473 00:29:06,747 --> 00:29:08,617 And only after they lost 474 00:29:08,650 --> 00:29:10,117 their cherries, I might add. 475 00:29:12,253 --> 00:29:13,821 Anyways, I have an idea. 476 00:29:15,489 --> 00:29:17,592 One way to get close to someone 477 00:29:17,626 --> 00:29:20,528 is by having long, meaningful 478 00:29:20,562 --> 00:29:22,129 late night conversations with them. 479 00:29:22,162 --> 00:29:27,501 So, why don't you and Archie wait for your respective 480 00:29:27,535 --> 00:29:29,770 gatekeeping adults to go to sleep? 481 00:29:29,803 --> 00:29:33,240 Then, call each other up on the telephone. 482 00:29:33,274 --> 00:29:35,009 Start having intimate heart to hearts 483 00:29:35,042 --> 00:29:36,777 and get to know each other that way. 484 00:29:36,810 --> 00:29:39,581 Well, I wish, but Archie doesn't have a telephone in his bedroom. 485 00:29:39,614 --> 00:29:40,481 Shoot. 486 00:29:41,415 --> 00:29:42,783 Are you sure? 487 00:29:42,816 --> 00:29:44,385 I am. I can look into Archie's room from mine. 488 00:29:45,419 --> 00:29:46,954 Sorry. 489 00:29:46,987 --> 00:29:50,124 You can look into Archie's bedroom window from yours? 490 00:29:56,163 --> 00:29:57,464 Does this mean you've glimpsed him-- 491 00:29:57,498 --> 00:30:00,401 Yes, many, many times. 492 00:30:02,269 --> 00:30:06,974 Betty, I think I have to see this floor show for myself. 493 00:30:07,007 --> 00:30:09,143 What time does the curtain usually go up? 494 00:30:13,414 --> 00:30:15,215 Hey, grease monkey. 495 00:30:15,249 --> 00:30:19,019 When I got home last night, I noticed a smudge on my windshield. 496 00:30:19,053 --> 00:30:20,421 Why don't you bring it back to the station? 497 00:30:20,454 --> 00:30:21,723 I'll take another crack at it. 498 00:30:21,756 --> 00:30:23,558 I'll do that. 499 00:30:23,591 --> 00:30:25,993 In the meantime, how about you get me a soda from the cafeteria... 500 00:30:27,127 --> 00:30:28,329 water-boy? 501 00:30:30,831 --> 00:30:32,132 Why don't you get it yourself, Julian? 502 00:30:32,166 --> 00:30:34,268 I would, but I'm saving my energy, 503 00:30:34,301 --> 00:30:36,236 so I can obliterate your dad's record 504 00:30:36,270 --> 00:30:38,305 against Centerville this weekend. 505 00:30:38,339 --> 00:30:41,275 I mean, somebody's got to do it. 506 00:30:42,176 --> 00:30:43,877 And it's clearly not going to be-- 507 00:30:50,719 --> 00:30:51,985 Hey, whoa. 508 00:30:55,989 --> 00:30:58,660 Mary, I just got here and I heard what happened. 509 00:30:58,693 --> 00:31:01,529 I'll talk to Featherhead and we'll straighten out this mess. 510 00:31:01,563 --> 00:31:02,764 Back off, Frank. 511 00:31:02,797 --> 00:31:04,064 I'm his mother. 512 00:31:04,098 --> 00:31:05,232 I'll take this round. 513 00:31:10,904 --> 00:31:12,306 Gather up, girls. 514 00:31:12,339 --> 00:31:14,743 I've decided on assignments for the season. 515 00:31:14,776 --> 00:31:17,111 For starters, Toni Topaz will perch 516 00:31:17,144 --> 00:31:19,079 at the top of our Vixens pyramid. 517 00:31:20,114 --> 00:31:21,382 But I'm always the flyer. 518 00:31:21,415 --> 00:31:23,117 -Not this year. -This is outrageous. 519 00:31:23,150 --> 00:31:26,755 No, this is cheerleading. 520 00:31:26,788 --> 00:31:28,922 Of course, if you're feeling frosted 521 00:31:28,956 --> 00:31:34,194 by my leadership choices, you're welcome to quit, Evelyn. Immediately. 522 00:31:42,336 --> 00:31:43,937 -I'll stay. -Sorry. What was that? 523 00:31:43,971 --> 00:31:46,006 -I'll stay. -Ah, fab. 524 00:31:46,841 --> 00:31:48,942 Now, on to other business. 525 00:31:51,111 --> 00:31:53,615 Archie, tell me what's going on. 526 00:31:53,648 --> 00:31:57,985 I saw you and your father play basketball practically every day. 527 00:31:58,018 --> 00:31:59,554 You love it. 528 00:31:59,587 --> 00:32:01,422 So why don't you want to play on the team? 529 00:32:02,791 --> 00:32:04,458 Is it because of Uncle Frank? 530 00:32:04,491 --> 00:32:05,426 No. 531 00:32:06,460 --> 00:32:07,461 No, it's not, Frank. 532 00:32:08,996 --> 00:32:11,999 It's... Well, you said it, Mom. 533 00:32:13,568 --> 00:32:17,004 Basketball was something Dad and I did together. 534 00:32:17,037 --> 00:32:19,973 Whenever I walk into a gym or pick up a ball... 535 00:32:21,910 --> 00:32:23,444 I think about Dad. 536 00:32:23,477 --> 00:32:25,979 And suddenly it's like there's an anvil on my heart. 537 00:32:27,715 --> 00:32:29,751 And if I played, I just know 538 00:32:29,784 --> 00:32:33,487 all I'd be thinking is "I wish Dad were here watching me from the stands." 539 00:32:33,521 --> 00:32:34,455 I understand. 540 00:32:36,558 --> 00:32:37,491 I wish that too. 541 00:32:40,695 --> 00:32:41,729 And then there's the other thing. 542 00:32:43,964 --> 00:32:45,299 If I played... 543 00:32:47,201 --> 00:32:48,469 What if I wasn't good enough? 544 00:32:50,204 --> 00:32:51,972 What if I tarnished Dad's memory? 545 00:32:52,005 --> 00:32:54,141 Oh, Archie. 546 00:32:54,174 --> 00:32:56,009 I know Frank suggested that your father 547 00:32:56,043 --> 00:32:59,848 wouldn't be proud of you, but that is simply not true. 548 00:32:59,881 --> 00:33:02,517 Your father would be so proud. 549 00:33:02,550 --> 00:33:05,820 Listen, you don't have to play basketball if you don't want to. 550 00:33:05,854 --> 00:33:09,456 But nothing would make your father happier than to see you play on his team. 551 00:33:10,892 --> 00:33:12,359 Maybe even wearing his number. 552 00:33:13,761 --> 00:33:15,395 Nothing would make me happier, too. 553 00:33:17,197 --> 00:33:18,999 And one way or the other, 554 00:33:19,032 --> 00:33:20,702 I'm going to ask Frank to ease up on you. 555 00:33:25,540 --> 00:33:27,241 Mr. Rayberry, I... 556 00:33:27,274 --> 00:33:31,746 really hope you don't get upset, but I read your novel. 557 00:33:34,081 --> 00:33:36,918 Golly, I... I loved it. 558 00:33:36,951 --> 00:33:40,354 -You have got to get this published. -Eh. 559 00:33:40,387 --> 00:33:45,125 Just a minute. You... You stole my manuscript? 560 00:33:45,158 --> 00:33:46,895 Only for a night. 561 00:33:46,928 --> 00:33:50,130 You are as much of a thief as Fieldstone. 562 00:33:51,064 --> 00:33:52,634 Oh, Mr. Rayberry, please, I-- 563 00:33:52,667 --> 00:33:54,969 No, get out of here. 564 00:33:55,003 --> 00:33:56,504 Give me my manuscript. 565 00:33:56,538 --> 00:33:58,540 Yeah, no, I'll go. 566 00:33:58,573 --> 00:34:00,207 But you have got to get this published. 567 00:34:00,240 --> 00:34:02,644 -I can help you-- -Get out of my house. 568 00:34:11,920 --> 00:34:16,056 Pretty swinging how you gave that Evernever chick what for. 569 00:34:16,089 --> 00:34:18,626 I always strive for the best cheer team possible. 570 00:34:18,660 --> 00:34:19,994 Well... 571 00:34:20,028 --> 00:34:22,496 I'd like to show you my appreciation. 572 00:34:23,163 --> 00:34:24,298 Would that be okay? 573 00:34:25,733 --> 00:34:27,067 Mo... More than okay. 574 00:34:48,790 --> 00:34:53,895 This isn't exactly what I imagined our stakeout would be like. 575 00:34:53,928 --> 00:34:56,330 What exactly did you imagine? 576 00:34:56,363 --> 00:34:59,767 Truthfully? Jimmy Stewart and Grace Kelly in Rear Window. 577 00:35:00,802 --> 00:35:01,669 Hmm. 578 00:35:03,638 --> 00:35:05,405 Hello. 579 00:35:05,439 --> 00:35:08,241 We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming 580 00:35:08,275 --> 00:35:10,511 with an emergency flutter bum alert. 581 00:35:11,579 --> 00:35:13,047 God bless America. 582 00:35:15,115 --> 00:35:19,319 Stand back, Ringling Brothers, because this is the greatest show on Earth. 583 00:35:19,353 --> 00:35:21,254 Ooh, do you have binoculars? 584 00:35:22,991 --> 00:35:24,892 Never mind. 585 00:35:24,926 --> 00:35:29,129 We don't even need them with the size of Archie's bulging... muscles. 586 00:35:30,197 --> 00:35:32,132 Mayday. Duck and cover. 587 00:35:32,165 --> 00:35:35,036 Oh, my God, I should have known. 588 00:35:35,069 --> 00:35:37,705 The same thing happened to Jimmy Stewart. 589 00:35:37,739 --> 00:35:40,140 Yeah, but at least he was trying to catch a murderer. 590 00:35:40,173 --> 00:35:42,610 We're just peeping Patties. 591 00:35:42,644 --> 00:35:43,511 Ugh! 592 00:35:51,586 --> 00:35:52,987 Did you get any sleep? 593 00:35:53,021 --> 00:35:56,490 - Not a wink. You? - The same. 594 00:35:56,524 --> 00:35:59,292 But it gave me time to think. And if he did see us, 595 00:35:59,326 --> 00:36:03,230 then he's probably just as embarrassed as we are, and won't say a word about it. 596 00:36:04,331 --> 00:36:06,400 I mean, it's positively shameless. 597 00:36:06,433 --> 00:36:09,436 The way he struts around like a... like a peacock, 598 00:36:09,469 --> 00:36:12,006 flashing those absurd abdominal muscles over there-- 599 00:36:15,208 --> 00:36:16,376 Howdy, ladies. 600 00:36:17,145 --> 00:36:18,680 How's it going? 601 00:36:18,713 --> 00:36:21,248 Archie, good morning. 602 00:36:21,281 --> 00:36:23,618 Veronica, would you mind giving Betty and I a minute? 603 00:36:24,251 --> 00:36:25,753 In... In private? 604 00:36:29,256 --> 00:36:32,627 -Of course. Betty, we'll catch up anon. -Mmm. 605 00:36:32,660 --> 00:36:36,964 Archie... keep up the good work. 606 00:36:45,205 --> 00:36:46,708 So, I... 607 00:36:48,142 --> 00:36:51,311 saw you and Veronica last night. 608 00:36:52,780 --> 00:36:53,648 Looking at me. 609 00:36:55,583 --> 00:36:58,686 Oh, sorry, I don't know what you're talking about. 610 00:36:58,720 --> 00:37:00,253 Betty, it's okay. 611 00:37:02,023 --> 00:37:03,725 I liked it. 612 00:37:03,758 --> 00:37:07,695 You know, my uncle's got me real busy during the day, but... 613 00:37:07,729 --> 00:37:10,464 every night I end up in my room. 614 00:37:13,668 --> 00:37:19,239 Every night I end up in my bedroom, too. 615 00:37:19,272 --> 00:37:21,308 What if we ended up in our bedrooms, 616 00:37:22,210 --> 00:37:23,745 you know, at the same time? 617 00:37:24,679 --> 00:37:25,546 And... 618 00:37:26,748 --> 00:37:27,615 looked at each other? 619 00:37:30,118 --> 00:37:32,787 How about tonight? Say midnight? 620 00:37:35,089 --> 00:37:36,958 Yeah, I'll be there. 621 00:37:36,991 --> 00:37:39,259 Same. 622 00:37:39,292 --> 00:37:43,296 And I'll be wearing something special. 623 00:37:46,200 --> 00:37:48,503 Okay. 624 00:37:48,536 --> 00:37:50,505 All right. Well, I gotta... I gotta run to the gym, Betty, 625 00:37:50,538 --> 00:37:54,008 but, yeah, I sure am excited. 626 00:37:55,375 --> 00:37:56,778 Betty, I'm really excited. 627 00:37:56,811 --> 00:37:59,346 Me too. I'm like, beyond excited. 628 00:38:10,525 --> 00:38:12,492 Hey, water-boy, stay on the sidelines. 629 00:38:12,527 --> 00:38:13,694 Court's for players only. 630 00:38:14,562 --> 00:38:15,863 Good. 631 00:38:15,897 --> 00:38:16,898 'Cause I'm here to play. 632 00:38:18,666 --> 00:38:19,934 You can't just let him on the team, Coach. 633 00:38:21,569 --> 00:38:23,104 How do we even know if he's any good? 634 00:38:31,444 --> 00:38:32,747 Any other questions? 635 00:38:34,215 --> 00:38:36,684 All right then, let's keep warming up. 636 00:38:41,255 --> 00:38:42,890 I'm not doing this for you, Uncle Frank. 637 00:38:42,924 --> 00:38:44,926 I'm doing this for myself. 638 00:38:44,959 --> 00:38:47,795 And for my mom, and my dad. 639 00:38:49,329 --> 00:38:50,665 I respect that, Archie. 640 00:38:53,901 --> 00:38:55,303 Dr. Werthers, 641 00:38:55,335 --> 00:38:58,405 I confiscated this from Dilton Doiley today. 642 00:38:59,874 --> 00:39:02,844 It is like fighting a hydra, Mrs. Thornton. 643 00:39:02,877 --> 00:39:06,314 Cut off one head, another grows in its place. 644 00:39:06,346 --> 00:39:11,418 Yes, except this particular head was written by one of our students, 645 00:39:11,451 --> 00:39:12,787 Jughead Jones. 646 00:41:40,267 --> 00:41:41,569 Betty. 647 00:41:41,602 --> 00:41:44,438 What in the actual hell is going on here? 648 00:41:44,472 --> 00:41:46,941 What in God's name are you doing?