1
00:00:01,970 --> 00:00:03,771
After Dr. Werthers' editorial,
2
00:00:03,805 --> 00:00:07,575
comic books
were periodicals
non grata in Riverdale,
3
00:00:07,609 --> 00:00:12,012
just as I'd become one
of Pep Comics' go to writers.
4
00:00:12,045 --> 00:00:13,882
And speaking of Pep Comics,
5
00:00:13,915 --> 00:00:15,249
I noticed some
of their recent output
6
00:00:15,282 --> 00:00:17,484
bore an uncanny
resemblance to stories
7
00:00:17,519 --> 00:00:20,989
written by
my favorite pulp writer
of all time, Brad Rayberry.
8
00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:23,056
But where was
Rayberry's credit?
9
00:00:23,090 --> 00:00:24,592
Mr. Fieldstone,
10
00:00:24,626 --> 00:00:26,928
the comic book that you
just published
11
00:00:26,961 --> 00:00:29,363
is beat for beat,
exactly like a story
12
00:00:29,396 --> 00:00:33,635
-that Brad Rayberry
published ten years ago.
-Hold on.
13
00:00:33,668 --> 00:00:37,137
The Rayberry story
is called November County.
14
00:00:37,170 --> 00:00:39,574
Ours is called
November Country.
15
00:00:39,607 --> 00:00:41,676
Is Pep Comics
in the business
of plagiarizing?
16
00:00:41,709 --> 00:00:44,812
That is an ugly word
we never use around here,
all right?
17
00:00:46,981 --> 00:00:48,783
But it's all coming
back to me now.
18
00:00:48,816 --> 00:00:52,554
I dimly remember
trying to reach out
to this Rayberry guy
19
00:00:52,587 --> 00:00:55,657
about a rights inquiry.
20
00:00:55,690 --> 00:00:59,393
But he never returned my calls,
so I just assumed
he was probably dead.
21
00:01:03,497 --> 00:01:06,034
You know, I've been here
a couple of days now,
22
00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:07,602
and I've observed a few things.
23
00:01:09,303 --> 00:01:11,138
Take a break, Archie.
24
00:01:15,543 --> 00:01:19,179
Your mom's concerned about you,
and so am I.
25
00:01:19,212 --> 00:01:22,684
The lying, the sneaking around,
that business
with the Blossom girl.
26
00:01:22,717 --> 00:01:26,888
Your grades are mediocre
and you're not pulling
your weight around the house.
27
00:01:26,921 --> 00:01:28,022
How do you think
your dad would feel?
28
00:01:28,056 --> 00:01:30,324
You think he'd
be proud of you?
29
00:01:30,357 --> 00:01:32,459
What did he say to you
before he went off to war?
30
00:01:33,126 --> 00:01:34,261
Remind me.
31
00:01:37,599 --> 00:01:39,366
He said that I should
take care of mom.
32
00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:42,102
And be the man of the house.
33
00:01:42,135 --> 00:01:43,605
That's right.
34
00:01:43,638 --> 00:01:45,372
Now, do you think
you've lived up to that?
35
00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:49,276
No, but you're going to start.
36
00:01:50,444 --> 00:01:51,478
Right now.
37
00:01:53,213 --> 00:01:54,281
Come with me.
38
00:01:55,583 --> 00:01:58,953
Mom, I'm sorry if I've been
disrespecting you lately.
39
00:01:58,987 --> 00:02:00,555
I promise I'll be
a better son to you.
40
00:02:01,856 --> 00:02:03,858
Thank you, Archie.
41
00:02:03,891 --> 00:02:05,492
I know you will, honey.
42
00:02:06,628 --> 00:02:08,495
Good man.
43
00:02:08,529 --> 00:02:10,397
Tomorrow we'll talk
to your principal
about getting your grades up.
44
00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:42,563
Veronica, can I bend your ear?
45
00:02:42,597 --> 00:02:44,065
Sure, Betty.
46
00:02:44,098 --> 00:02:45,298
What's on your mind?
47
00:02:46,968 --> 00:02:49,537
I was just wondering...
48
00:02:50,571 --> 00:02:51,906
what's sex like?
49
00:02:53,808 --> 00:02:57,578
My goodness. And I've barely
just had my morning java.
50
00:02:57,612 --> 00:02:59,781
All I'm doing
is reading about it.
51
00:02:59,814 --> 00:03:04,585
And I just wanted to talk
to someone with, you know,
firsthand experience.
52
00:03:07,320 --> 00:03:09,891
Okay, truth time.
53
00:03:12,093 --> 00:03:17,865
Now, you can't tell anyone,
because I have
a reputation to uphold.
54
00:03:18,700 --> 00:03:21,234
But, entre nous,
55
00:03:21,268 --> 00:03:24,706
I haven't actually
gone all the way with a boy.
56
00:03:25,506 --> 00:03:26,808
Not yet.
57
00:03:28,275 --> 00:03:33,346
I just assumed
because you're so... sexy.
58
00:03:34,148 --> 00:03:35,883
Thanks for noticing.
59
00:03:35,917 --> 00:03:40,220
But Betty, you don't have
to have sex to be sexy.
60
00:03:42,757 --> 00:03:44,625
But how do you...
61
00:03:44,659 --> 00:03:46,160
How do I...
62
00:03:46,194 --> 00:03:49,630
carry myself more like you?
63
00:03:51,498 --> 00:03:55,570
Well, there are all sorts
of tricks a woman can use
64
00:03:55,603 --> 00:04:00,373
to revel in her body
and feel more sensual.
65
00:04:01,809 --> 00:04:03,544
Perfume is one.
66
00:04:03,578 --> 00:04:06,279
Or a heel that puts
a sway in your step.
67
00:04:06,313 --> 00:04:09,517
But my favorite
little trade secret...
68
00:04:11,953 --> 00:04:13,755
is wearing sexy lingerie.
69
00:04:15,790 --> 00:04:17,424
Lingerie?
70
00:04:17,457 --> 00:04:19,994
I like the way
it makes me feel.
71
00:04:20,027 --> 00:04:22,530
The soft fabric
against my skin,
72
00:04:22,563 --> 00:04:26,701
knowing that it makes
my body look fantastic.
73
00:04:26,734 --> 00:04:30,838
Say, why don't you
give lingerie a whirl?
74
00:04:30,872 --> 00:04:34,274
Come over to the Pembrooke
after school and try some on.
75
00:04:34,307 --> 00:04:36,376
Okay, sure.
76
00:04:37,745 --> 00:04:40,114
Good morning,
Antoinette.
77
00:04:40,148 --> 00:04:41,381
Here's your novel back.
78
00:04:43,551 --> 00:04:44,685
What did you think of it?
79
00:04:46,187 --> 00:04:47,054
Um...
80
00:04:49,456 --> 00:04:51,759
I like the cover.
81
00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:55,362
There's something
aesthetically pleasing
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00:04:55,395 --> 00:05:00,201
about two voluptuous,
feminine forms in close
proximity to each other.
83
00:05:00,234 --> 00:05:02,270
Voluptuous, huh?
84
00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:05,206
Well, how about you and I
go to the Dark Room
85
00:05:05,239 --> 00:05:07,742
and grab a cappuccino
and privacy,
86
00:05:07,775 --> 00:05:10,410
where we can feed
each other apple butter
about the cover art?
87
00:05:10,443 --> 00:05:12,146
Oh, no, I couldn't possibly.
88
00:05:12,180 --> 00:05:14,916
I'm far too busy getting ready
to relaunch my precious Vixens.
89
00:05:14,949 --> 00:05:17,552
Ah, yes. Your paper-shakers.
90
00:05:17,585 --> 00:05:20,621
I would ask you
to join, but I'm sure
being a cheerleader
91
00:05:20,655 --> 00:05:23,524
is far too square
an activity for
a girl-greaser like you.
92
00:05:30,731 --> 00:05:33,868
Sir, I swear on a stack
of Bibles that I'm
going to double down
93
00:05:33,901 --> 00:05:36,504
on my schoolwork
and get my grades up.
94
00:05:36,537 --> 00:05:38,639
I want to be at least
a B student.
95
00:05:38,673 --> 00:05:41,108
I'm happy to hear that, Archie.
96
00:05:41,142 --> 00:05:43,678
I feel as if there's much...
97
00:05:43,711 --> 00:05:47,748
untapped potential within you.
98
00:05:47,782 --> 00:05:51,886
And Frank, your timing
couldn't be better.
I wonder...
99
00:05:51,919 --> 00:05:54,689
might I have a word
with you, in private?
100
00:05:54,722 --> 00:05:55,923
Of course.
101
00:05:55,957 --> 00:05:57,992
Archie, will you excuse us?
102
00:05:58,926 --> 00:06:00,962
Um, sure.
103
00:06:05,766 --> 00:06:08,703
Okay, girls, let's fire it up
and see what
we're working with.
104
00:06:18,579 --> 00:06:19,881
Hope I'm not too late.
105
00:06:21,414 --> 00:06:23,450
I'm sorry, you're not
on our list.
106
00:06:23,483 --> 00:06:28,455
-Better luck next year--
-Evelyn, are you the captain?
107
00:06:28,488 --> 00:06:30,625
Oh, no, that's right.
That would be me.
108
00:06:30,658 --> 00:06:33,628
So quit biting at my ankles
and shut your trap.
109
00:06:36,197 --> 00:06:38,032
You're not too late, Toni.
110
00:06:38,065 --> 00:06:40,735
In fact, you're first up.
111
00:06:40,768 --> 00:06:42,670
I assume you
prepared a routine.
112
00:06:42,703 --> 00:06:43,571
I did.
113
00:06:46,473 --> 00:06:48,576
We got the pep.
114
00:06:48,609 --> 00:06:50,578
We got this...
We got...
115
00:07:22,543 --> 00:07:27,815
Riverdale High School,
that's our team.
116
00:07:27,848 --> 00:07:32,053
Well, razz my berries
and put them in a jelly jar.
117
00:07:32,086 --> 00:07:35,957
I haven't seen that kind of
pom-pom technique in years.
118
00:07:35,990 --> 00:07:38,826
Since I alone speak
for the Vixens,
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00:07:38,859 --> 00:07:43,698
I would like to officially
offer you a spot on the squad.
120
00:07:43,731 --> 00:07:46,067
-Shouldn't we wait
till we've seen everyone--
-Evelyn!
121
00:07:46,100 --> 00:07:49,337
Until you've proven you can do
more than regurgitate
a Doris Day shuffle,
122
00:07:49,370 --> 00:07:50,705
I suggest you zip it.
123
00:08:04,185 --> 00:08:07,388
So, it looks like I'll be
sticking around a while.
124
00:08:07,421 --> 00:08:10,825
Principal Featherhead
asked me to be the basketball
team's head coach.
125
00:08:10,858 --> 00:08:12,526
Oh, that's great news, Frank.
126
00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:13,961
Well,
now that the war's over,
127
00:08:13,995 --> 00:08:16,564
Featherhead wants to bring
the Bulldogs back.
128
00:08:16,597 --> 00:08:19,100
Tryouts are tomorrow
after school.
129
00:08:19,133 --> 00:08:21,302
I expect to see you there.
130
00:08:21,335 --> 00:08:24,638
Well, if it's all the same
to you, Uncle Frank, I think
I might sit this season out.
131
00:08:24,672 --> 00:08:26,240
But you love basketball.
132
00:08:28,476 --> 00:08:31,045
I've been told to focus
on my studies, Mom.
133
00:08:31,078 --> 00:08:33,781
Archie, you're young.
You can study
and play basketball.
134
00:08:33,814 --> 00:08:35,149
You don't want me on the team.
135
00:08:36,484 --> 00:08:38,285
I'm no good.
I'm out of practice.
136
00:08:38,319 --> 00:08:39,286
Archie.
137
00:08:39,320 --> 00:08:41,322
That's okay, Mary.
138
00:08:41,355 --> 00:08:44,592
If Archie doesn't
feel like he's fit to play,
he can contribute another way.
139
00:08:46,027 --> 00:08:46,961
As water-boy.
140
00:08:57,171 --> 00:08:59,240
What's the tale, nightingale?
141
00:08:59,273 --> 00:09:00,509
Come out and let me see.
142
00:09:00,541 --> 00:09:04,812
I'm...
I am not sure.
143
00:09:04,845 --> 00:09:07,248
Don't be modest, Betty.
It's just us girls.
144
00:09:13,287 --> 00:09:14,555
I knew it.
145
00:09:14,588 --> 00:09:16,290
I knew it would look
perfect on you.
146
00:09:17,224 --> 00:09:18,859
Well, how do you feel?
147
00:09:18,893 --> 00:09:20,161
Sexy as sin?
148
00:09:20,194 --> 00:09:23,297
Hardly. I feel... embarrassed.
149
00:09:23,330 --> 00:09:24,899
Why?
150
00:09:24,932 --> 00:09:27,168
Bettie Page herself
would go ape for you.
151
00:09:29,136 --> 00:09:30,438
This was a silly idea.
152
00:09:30,471 --> 00:09:32,339
-I'm gonna change.
-Betty, wait.
153
00:09:33,074 --> 00:09:34,008
Come here.
154
00:09:36,610 --> 00:09:39,313
Give yourself a minute
to get used to the lace.
155
00:09:41,615 --> 00:09:43,050
Deep breaths.
156
00:09:46,353 --> 00:09:48,789
Now look at yourself.
157
00:09:48,823 --> 00:09:52,126
Look at your beautiful body
and repeat after me.
158
00:09:53,861 --> 00:09:58,766
"I am a gorgeous,
powerful, sexy siren,
159
00:09:58,799 --> 00:10:01,068
at the height
of my womanly powers."
160
00:10:03,237 --> 00:10:07,074
And may God have mercy
on the boys of Riverdale High.
161
00:10:20,522 --> 00:10:23,624
Oh, wow. Mr. Rayberry, uh...
162
00:10:23,657 --> 00:10:25,793
I'm Jughead Jones.
163
00:10:25,826 --> 00:10:28,929
I'm a writer over at
Pep Comics in Riverdale,
164
00:10:28,963 --> 00:10:31,065
and I know for a fact
that they are plagiarizing
165
00:10:31,098 --> 00:10:33,968
and publishing your stories
for monetary gain.
166
00:10:34,468 --> 00:10:35,336
Huh?
167
00:10:36,203 --> 00:10:37,238
They're ripping you off.
168
00:10:40,207 --> 00:10:44,278
I think you should send them
a cease and desist letter
169
00:10:44,311 --> 00:10:46,615
-or sue them or something.
-Yeah, hold on, hold on.
170
00:10:46,647 --> 00:10:48,983
You're employed by Pep Comics,
171
00:10:49,016 --> 00:10:51,051
and you want me
to sue Pep Comics?
172
00:10:51,085 --> 00:10:52,153
Why?
173
00:10:52,186 --> 00:10:56,490
Well, that might be
a bit extreme.
174
00:10:56,525 --> 00:10:58,692
But, uh...
175
00:10:59,528 --> 00:11:01,028
I think you're the tops.
176
00:11:01,061 --> 00:11:04,398
And I... You... You shouldn't
be treated this way.
177
00:11:04,431 --> 00:11:08,503
I, um... I'm sure it's just
some kind of misunderstanding.
178
00:11:08,537 --> 00:11:09,937
Uh, it's... It's...
179
00:11:11,105 --> 00:11:12,873
It's not.
180
00:11:12,907 --> 00:11:15,843
It's theft.
I went through
all of Pep Comics' back issues.
181
00:11:15,876 --> 00:11:19,013
They've poached
like eight of your stories.
182
00:11:19,046 --> 00:11:22,316
Um, this is just
the latest one.
183
00:11:27,454 --> 00:11:28,756
Spit it out, Evelyn.
184
00:11:30,525 --> 00:11:34,461
I have some concerns,
185
00:11:34,495 --> 00:11:36,463
about our new Vixen,
Toni Topaz.
186
00:11:36,497 --> 00:11:39,800
Feeling threatened should only
make you work harder.
187
00:11:39,833 --> 00:11:45,105
I just don't think that
we should have girls
like Toni on our squad.
188
00:11:45,139 --> 00:11:49,176
You best choose your next words
very carefully, Evelyn.
189
00:11:49,210 --> 00:11:51,613
Riverdale High
is fully integrated,
as are the Vixens.
190
00:11:51,646 --> 00:11:53,047
If you have
a problem with that--
191
00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:56,450
No, my problem isn't with
Toni being Black. It's...
192
00:11:56,483 --> 00:12:00,387
Well, it's with the fact
that everyone knows
that she's a lezzie.
193
00:12:00,421 --> 00:12:03,257
And I wouldn't be comfortable
being naked in
the locker room with her.
194
00:12:03,290 --> 00:12:06,894
I don't know where
you heard such
a disgusting rumor, Evelyn,
195
00:12:06,927 --> 00:12:10,297
but let me clue you in.
Toni Topaz is not a...
196
00:12:11,365 --> 00:12:13,635
Whatever that word is.
197
00:12:13,668 --> 00:12:15,869
I wouldn't tolerate such
behavior on my squad,
198
00:12:15,903 --> 00:12:18,939
so shut your damn
mouth about it!
199
00:12:18,973 --> 00:12:21,342
Now, kindly put an egg
in your shoe and beat it.
200
00:12:21,375 --> 00:12:24,011
A new episode of Oh, Mija
is about to begin and you're
not invited to stay and watch.
201
00:12:27,381 --> 00:12:28,816
Topaz.
202
00:12:28,849 --> 00:12:31,653
The scuttlebutt is you're
a paper-shaker now.
203
00:12:31,686 --> 00:12:34,154
What happened?
204
00:12:34,188 --> 00:12:35,422
Let me guess.
205
00:12:35,456 --> 00:12:38,192
Still bird-dogging
that redheaded closet-case?
206
00:12:38,225 --> 00:12:41,228
Well, not that I have
to justify my actions
to you, Lizzo,
207
00:12:41,262 --> 00:12:45,533
you're currently looking
at Riverdale High's first
Black cheerleader ever.
208
00:12:45,567 --> 00:12:49,069
Now, that may not mean
a lot to you,
but it does to me.
209
00:12:49,103 --> 00:12:50,771
So it's political for you.
210
00:12:50,804 --> 00:12:53,173
Yeah. Got it. That makes sense.
211
00:12:53,207 --> 00:12:55,776
Damn, Topaz.
You must really be on the hook.
212
00:12:57,679 --> 00:12:59,013
Not that I blame you.
213
00:12:59,046 --> 00:13:01,549
That's one cherry lollipop
I'd happily lick.
214
00:13:15,764 --> 00:13:17,498
What the heck did you
do with my car?
215
00:13:17,532 --> 00:13:20,868
Well, that hot rod
was an unnecessary
distraction, Archie.
216
00:13:20,901 --> 00:13:22,637
Don't worry,
it's safe and sound,
217
00:13:22,671 --> 00:13:24,305
and you'll get it back
once your grades
are where they should be.
218
00:13:24,338 --> 00:13:26,273
How do you expect me
to get to school?
219
00:13:26,307 --> 00:13:29,544
You can walk, take the bus,
ride your bike.
220
00:13:29,577 --> 00:13:32,413
Or you can hitch
a ride with me,
but you better hustle.
221
00:13:32,446 --> 00:13:35,082
You don't want to be late
for your first day
as water-boy.
222
00:13:43,658 --> 00:13:45,926
Well, are you wearing them?
223
00:13:47,861 --> 00:13:49,997
Don't flip out,
but I am not.
224
00:13:50,030 --> 00:13:53,067
Betty, how will you ever
get used to lace panties
225
00:13:53,100 --> 00:13:54,902
if you don't wear
them every day?
226
00:13:54,935 --> 00:13:57,438
You know, I know,
but there's gym class
later today,
227
00:13:57,471 --> 00:13:59,173
and I didn't want people
to see me wearing them
228
00:13:59,206 --> 00:14:02,142
and think that I was
some kind of nymphomaniac.
229
00:14:02,176 --> 00:14:06,815
Yet another word
invented by men
who want to gaslight women.
230
00:14:06,847 --> 00:14:11,118
Anyway, now that I'm
your new wing woman,
I've been thinking.
231
00:14:12,687 --> 00:14:15,089
It's time we found you a man,
232
00:14:15,122 --> 00:14:17,324
who can appreciate
what an incredible,
233
00:14:17,358 --> 00:14:20,562
powerful, beautiful
knockout you are.
234
00:14:20,595 --> 00:14:23,598
So, now that you and Kevin
are no more, who do you
have your eye on?
235
00:14:24,632 --> 00:14:27,334
There is someone, actually.
236
00:14:27,368 --> 00:14:28,570
Don't be coy.
237
00:14:28,603 --> 00:14:29,571
Who's the lucky duck?
238
00:14:31,405 --> 00:14:32,339
It's Archie.
239
00:14:36,910 --> 00:14:40,914
Yes, Archie is a teen
dream boat, isn't he?
240
00:14:44,519 --> 00:14:46,487
Well, you're in luck.
241
00:14:46,521 --> 00:14:49,591
I spied him in the lounge
mere seconds ago.
242
00:14:49,624 --> 00:14:52,493
So why don't you march on
in there and ask him out?
243
00:14:52,527 --> 00:14:55,262
Let's do it now, before you can
talk yourself out of it.
244
00:15:00,367 --> 00:15:01,268
Hi, Archie.
245
00:15:02,936 --> 00:15:05,673
Betty, hey.
What's the scoop?
246
00:15:07,776 --> 00:15:09,577
The scoop is...
247
00:15:13,380 --> 00:15:16,483
Do you maybe want to go
to the movies with me?
248
00:15:16,518 --> 00:15:18,686
The movies?
249
00:15:18,720 --> 00:15:21,989
Well, heck yeah, Betty.
I would love to take you
to the movies.
250
00:15:22,022 --> 00:15:23,157
Really?
251
00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:27,261
But I can't.
252
00:15:30,063 --> 00:15:32,433
I can't right now.
253
00:15:32,466 --> 00:15:34,536
It's my Uncle Frank.
He's being a real
pain in the ass.
254
00:15:34,569 --> 00:15:37,705
He's got me on a trip
for biscuits making me
the team water-boy.
255
00:15:39,707 --> 00:15:43,511
Maybe he'll ease up
in the next couple of weeks
and we can go then?
256
00:15:46,648 --> 00:15:49,416
Of course.
Yeah, another time.
It's fine.
257
00:15:54,622 --> 00:15:57,525
At least he was nice enough
to come up with an excuse.
258
00:15:58,526 --> 00:16:00,394
Or it's the truth.
259
00:16:00,427 --> 00:16:04,298
And you just need
to let Archie work out
his family strife for a bit.
260
00:16:06,233 --> 00:16:10,572
Say, why don't we nab ourselves
a couple of good time boys
261
00:16:10,605 --> 00:16:11,539
and go on a double date?
262
00:16:12,841 --> 00:16:14,676
With... With who?
263
00:16:14,709 --> 00:16:17,377
Isn't there an all-boys
private school down the lane?
264
00:16:17,411 --> 00:16:19,747
-You mean Stonewall Prep?
-Mmm.
265
00:16:19,781 --> 00:16:21,549
J'adore private school boys.
266
00:16:22,282 --> 00:16:24,384
So sexually frustrated.
267
00:16:24,418 --> 00:16:26,554
So easy to torment
and manipulate.
268
00:16:29,189 --> 00:16:30,057
Hmm.
269
00:16:54,749 --> 00:16:56,183
Let's see what we have here.
270
00:17:03,123 --> 00:17:05,459
"A story of forbidden
feminine love."
271
00:17:08,362 --> 00:17:09,429
I knew it.
272
00:17:09,463 --> 00:17:10,565
Excuse me.
273
00:17:10,598 --> 00:17:12,132
Can I help you
with something, Evelyn?
274
00:17:13,735 --> 00:17:15,503
You know, it's strange, Toni.
275
00:17:15,537 --> 00:17:19,339
When I asked her,
Cheryl insisted that you
weren't gaga for girls.
276
00:17:20,675 --> 00:17:22,476
This book, however,
tells a different story.
277
00:17:22,510 --> 00:17:25,379
As a matter of fact,
I read all kinds of books.
278
00:17:25,412 --> 00:17:28,282
So how about you quit
sticking your nose
in my business
279
00:17:28,315 --> 00:17:30,919
before I serve you up
a knuckle sandwich?
280
00:17:30,952 --> 00:17:32,720
Can you dig it?
281
00:17:32,754 --> 00:17:34,288
Now, why don't you tell me
282
00:17:34,321 --> 00:17:36,658
exactly what Cheryl said.
283
00:17:38,927 --> 00:17:40,127
So,
what do you think?
284
00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:42,864
First issue,
hot off the presses.
285
00:17:42,897 --> 00:17:44,933
This is so boss, boss.
286
00:17:44,966 --> 00:17:47,301
I mean, to see it in full color
and in print with my name.
287
00:17:47,334 --> 00:17:48,736
And that's just
the final proof.
288
00:17:51,204 --> 00:17:53,675
Which one of you
shucksters is Al Fieldstone?
289
00:17:53,708 --> 00:17:55,877
I am. Who are you?
290
00:17:55,910 --> 00:17:57,612
Brad Rayberry.
291
00:17:57,645 --> 00:18:00,080
You've been plagiarizing
my short stories
for your comic books.
292
00:18:00,113 --> 00:18:02,717
Hey, now. What's to say
that two different writers
293
00:18:02,750 --> 00:18:05,319
couldn't have had
similar ideas concurrently?
294
00:18:05,352 --> 00:18:08,723
Once maybe, but eight times?
295
00:18:08,756 --> 00:18:10,925
Do you think
that's going to pass
muster in the courts?
296
00:18:10,959 --> 00:18:12,026
The courts?
297
00:18:12,060 --> 00:18:13,493
You listen to me, pal.
298
00:18:13,528 --> 00:18:16,129
I have got the top lawyers
in New York on retainer.
299
00:18:16,163 --> 00:18:18,733
Uh, fellas,
acknowledging that...
300
00:18:18,766 --> 00:18:23,403
someone at some time
might have read a book
and been inspired by it,
301
00:18:23,437 --> 00:18:25,339
what if we put
Mr. Rayberry's name
302
00:18:25,372 --> 00:18:28,610
on all future
reprints of stories
that are similar to his,
303
00:18:28,643 --> 00:18:32,279
and pay him a modest
but appropriate fee
304
00:18:32,312 --> 00:18:33,581
for the rights
to adapt his work?
305
00:18:33,615 --> 00:18:35,115
How much dough
are we talking about?
306
00:18:36,618 --> 00:18:41,355
-How about--
-How about a $2
adaptation fee per story?
307
00:18:45,860 --> 00:18:47,895
Deal.
308
00:18:47,929 --> 00:18:49,496
But I want to be compensated
for the eight stories
you've already adapted.
309
00:18:50,230 --> 00:18:51,365
Comprende?
310
00:18:54,502 --> 00:18:55,435
Deal.
311
00:19:00,273 --> 00:19:02,510
Well, all's well that ends
well, eh, Mr. Rayberry?
312
00:19:03,276 --> 00:19:04,512
We shall see.
313
00:19:04,545 --> 00:19:06,547
So how's this gonna
work, anyway?
314
00:19:06,581 --> 00:19:09,517
It's up to you.
You, um, could adapt
your own stories
315
00:19:09,550 --> 00:19:13,621
or you could get a a different
Pep Comics writer to do it.
316
00:19:13,655 --> 00:19:14,656
Writers like you, maybe?
317
00:19:16,991 --> 00:19:19,060
It would be an honor, sir.
318
00:19:19,093 --> 00:19:22,964
I love all your stories
in all the different
pulp magazines.
319
00:19:22,997 --> 00:19:26,701
Weird Tales, Startling Stories,
Fantastic Adventures.
320
00:19:27,702 --> 00:19:29,236
Does, uh...
321
00:19:29,269 --> 00:19:31,405
Does your old man approve
of your literary aspirations?
322
00:19:31,438 --> 00:19:32,674
'Cause mine sure
as hell didn't.
323
00:19:33,340 --> 00:19:35,442
Couldn't tell you.
324
00:19:35,475 --> 00:19:37,912
Did he leave
the mortal coil? I'm sorry.
325
00:19:39,047 --> 00:19:40,882
Oh, no, uh...
326
00:19:40,915 --> 00:19:42,249
He lives in Toledo.
327
00:19:42,282 --> 00:19:44,552
I think. He, uh...
328
00:19:44,585 --> 00:19:46,353
There was this big,
messy robbery
329
00:19:46,386 --> 00:19:50,892
in town a few years back,
and he was the prime suspect.
330
00:19:50,925 --> 00:19:54,896
So he hopped on his bike
and split from Riverdale.
331
00:19:55,963 --> 00:19:57,364
Have you written about that?
332
00:20:00,034 --> 00:20:02,503
-No.
-You should.
333
00:20:02,537 --> 00:20:05,039
You write anything
other than funny books?
334
00:20:05,073 --> 00:20:08,609
Yeah, no, I...
I write short stories,
but it's been a while.
335
00:20:11,344 --> 00:20:13,480
If I wrote a short story,
would you read it?
336
00:20:16,249 --> 00:20:19,486
Crud.
We were having
such a swell time.
337
00:20:23,091 --> 00:20:24,491
I'm yanking your chain.
338
00:20:26,094 --> 00:20:27,394
Sure I would.
339
00:20:27,427 --> 00:20:29,097
Pass me the ketchup,
will you?
340
00:21:42,503 --> 00:21:45,673
Good morning.
I have good news
for you, Archie.
341
00:21:45,706 --> 00:21:46,841
What's that?
342
00:21:46,874 --> 00:21:48,109
I got you a job.
343
00:21:48,142 --> 00:21:50,645
Pumping gas at Pop's.
344
00:21:50,678 --> 00:21:53,281
That's what being man
of the house means, Archie.
345
00:21:53,313 --> 00:21:54,916
Taking on multiple
responsibilities.
346
00:22:00,288 --> 00:22:01,354
Jughead.
347
00:22:01,388 --> 00:22:03,090
This is fat city.
348
00:22:03,124 --> 00:22:04,357
We have to celebrate.
349
00:22:04,391 --> 00:22:06,227
Wanna go to Pop's
and treat us to burgers?
350
00:22:06,260 --> 00:22:08,029
Aw, man, I wish I could.
351
00:22:08,062 --> 00:22:09,864
But after school,
I'm actually going over
to Mr. Rayberry's house.
352
00:22:09,897 --> 00:22:12,332
I want to him to read
this new story I wrote.
353
00:22:17,470 --> 00:22:18,973
Cheryl Blossom,
we got a big problem.
354
00:22:19,006 --> 00:22:20,074
I concur.
355
00:22:20,107 --> 00:22:21,175
-It's Midge, right?
-No.
356
00:22:21,209 --> 00:22:22,243
It's you telling
Evelyn Evernever
357
00:22:22,276 --> 00:22:23,678
that I don't like girls.
358
00:22:23,711 --> 00:22:25,213
She put down
that you were a lezzie.
359
00:22:25,246 --> 00:22:27,081
I defended
your honor and reputation.
360
00:22:27,114 --> 00:22:28,549
That's the problem.
361
00:22:28,583 --> 00:22:30,417
You don't get to speak for me.
362
00:22:30,450 --> 00:22:32,153
You don't get to define me.
363
00:22:32,186 --> 00:22:33,688
You don't get
to put me in a box.
364
00:22:33,721 --> 00:22:35,323
I was just trying
to protect you.
365
00:22:35,355 --> 00:22:37,490
I don't need a savior.
366
00:22:37,525 --> 00:22:40,695
I'm not ashamed
of who I am or who I like.
367
00:22:40,728 --> 00:22:43,197
I never have been
and I never will be.
368
00:22:43,231 --> 00:22:44,999
I don't know what
you want me to say.
369
00:22:46,200 --> 00:22:47,467
I... I'm sorry.
370
00:22:47,500 --> 00:22:49,804
I'm done wasting
my time on you, Cheryl.
371
00:22:49,837 --> 00:22:51,572
And I'm done
with all this pussy footing.
372
00:22:51,606 --> 00:22:53,440
So...
373
00:22:53,473 --> 00:22:58,012
I hope that you get
to wherever you're going,
but I'm getting off this train.
374
00:22:58,045 --> 00:22:59,146
Life's too damn short.
375
00:23:02,116 --> 00:23:03,050
Wait, Toni.
376
00:23:10,390 --> 00:23:11,525
You're right.
377
00:23:13,094 --> 00:23:14,394
I...
378
00:23:15,296 --> 00:23:17,531
am attracted to girls.
379
00:23:19,100 --> 00:23:20,034
Well, that's a start.
380
00:23:22,970 --> 00:23:25,606
And I think maybe, um...
381
00:23:26,607 --> 00:23:28,943
I'm attracted to you.
382
00:23:30,477 --> 00:23:32,780
You think or you know?
383
00:23:37,919 --> 00:23:38,853
I... I know.
384
00:23:42,123 --> 00:23:43,423
Finally.
385
00:23:44,525 --> 00:23:45,893
We're getting somewhere.
386
00:23:47,494 --> 00:23:48,663
Hey, Mr. Rayberry.
387
00:23:49,330 --> 00:23:51,032
I brought a short story.
388
00:23:51,065 --> 00:23:52,900
Some prose I wrote last night.
389
00:23:53,534 --> 00:23:54,702
Would you look at?
390
00:23:54,735 --> 00:23:56,037
Just give me your two cents?
391
00:23:56,070 --> 00:23:59,006
Sure, but I'm not gonna
pull any punches.
392
00:23:59,040 --> 00:24:00,741
Of course. Thank you.
393
00:24:00,775 --> 00:24:03,577
You want some tea?
394
00:24:03,611 --> 00:24:06,047
-Heck, yes.
-Mmm-hmm. I'll be right back.
395
00:24:06,080 --> 00:24:07,615
Make yourself comfortable.
396
00:24:44,285 --> 00:24:47,054
Wait. So, Kevin
and Clay are also?
397
00:24:47,088 --> 00:24:50,490
Yeah. But not many people
know about them.
398
00:24:50,524 --> 00:24:52,460
So, don't go around quoting it.
399
00:24:52,492 --> 00:24:53,961
No, no, of course not.
400
00:24:56,330 --> 00:24:59,166
When I was ten,
my mother and her sister
401
00:24:59,200 --> 00:25:01,268
had an awful falling out.
402
00:25:01,302 --> 00:25:05,773
My Aunt Carol ended up
moving to Greenwich Village
to be a writer.
403
00:25:05,806 --> 00:25:09,076
My mother called her
awful things, Toni.
404
00:25:10,244 --> 00:25:11,645
Like...
405
00:25:13,881 --> 00:25:16,217
Sapphic,
sexual deviant.
406
00:25:16,250 --> 00:25:17,585
Wow.
407
00:25:17,618 --> 00:25:20,554
That was around the time
that I started realizing
408
00:25:20,588 --> 00:25:24,125
maybe I was like Aunt Carol.
409
00:25:25,693 --> 00:25:30,998
Even though I'd never get
to live like her, loving women.
410
00:25:33,034 --> 00:25:35,870
I knew I liked girls
as much as I liked boys
411
00:25:35,903 --> 00:25:38,939
for as long as
I could remember.
412
00:25:39,907 --> 00:25:41,776
My parents caught me necking
413
00:25:41,809 --> 00:25:45,546
with my neighbor, Glenda,
when I was 13 years old.
414
00:25:45,579 --> 00:25:47,281
And then they kicked me
out of the house.
415
00:25:47,314 --> 00:25:48,816
Oh, no, Toni.
416
00:25:48,849 --> 00:25:50,918
And then I moved in
with my grandma.
417
00:25:52,787 --> 00:25:56,257
And I can be exactly
who I wanna be.
418
00:25:57,458 --> 00:25:59,794
Your grandmother approves?
419
00:26:00,428 --> 00:26:01,295
More or less.
420
00:26:04,999 --> 00:26:08,269
I always believed if I didn't
want my family to disown me,
421
00:26:08,302 --> 00:26:12,640
I would have to spend
my life playing a part.
422
00:26:14,008 --> 00:26:16,744
That's what that whole
thing with Archie was. A...
423
00:26:17,711 --> 00:26:20,681
-A role.
-And now?
424
00:26:23,552 --> 00:26:24,852
Now...
425
00:26:26,555 --> 00:26:30,458
I am ready
for something else.
426
00:26:30,491 --> 00:26:31,725
I can dig that.
427
00:26:43,437 --> 00:26:48,075
Archie Andrews.
Riverdale's resident
grease monkey.
428
00:26:49,511 --> 00:26:51,045
You need a fill-up, Julian?
429
00:26:51,078 --> 00:26:51,879
Sure do.
430
00:26:51,912 --> 00:26:53,881
And some air in the tires.
431
00:26:59,153 --> 00:27:03,558
So, Betty,
is it true your parents
run the television station?
432
00:27:03,592 --> 00:27:05,493
Yeah, they do. RIVW.
433
00:27:05,527 --> 00:27:08,729
How come you're not
on their dance show,
Riverdale Grandstand?
434
00:27:08,762 --> 00:27:10,664
Oh, I don't know, uh...
435
00:27:10,698 --> 00:27:12,433
It's a pretty big
time commitment.
436
00:27:12,466 --> 00:27:15,469
Three hours every day
after school.
437
00:27:15,504 --> 00:27:18,272
Gee, don't you like to dance?
438
00:27:19,773 --> 00:27:21,876
Of course she does.
439
00:27:21,909 --> 00:27:24,513
Anyway. What do you two
cool cats like to do
440
00:27:24,546 --> 00:27:28,082
when you're not out on the town
with Riverdale High's
ginchiest gals?
441
00:27:28,115 --> 00:27:31,418
We're on
the debate team
and the basketball team.
442
00:27:31,452 --> 00:27:32,853
And the Honor Society.
443
00:27:32,887 --> 00:27:34,623
And...
444
00:27:42,830 --> 00:27:44,566
Hey there, Archie.
445
00:27:44,599 --> 00:27:47,168
Thought my newest gas attendant
might need a little pick me up?
446
00:27:47,201 --> 00:27:50,371
Yeah, you don't know
the half of it, Pop.
447
00:27:50,404 --> 00:27:54,509
Heard they're getting the
basketball team going again,
now that the war is over.
448
00:27:54,543 --> 00:27:57,044
Yeah. Yeah,
my uncle's the coach.
449
00:27:57,077 --> 00:28:01,315
You know, I used to watch
your dad play
when he was in school.
450
00:28:01,348 --> 00:28:04,685
Best rebounder
Riverdale High had ever seen.
451
00:28:04,718 --> 00:28:08,422
Well, he and I, we used
to play a lot, growing up.
Right up until...
452
00:28:11,725 --> 00:28:13,727
he went off to the war.
453
00:28:13,761 --> 00:28:16,830
Proud of him for serving
our country the way he did.
454
00:28:17,865 --> 00:28:19,934
He was a true hero.
455
00:28:20,801 --> 00:28:22,102
Yeah, he was, Pop.
456
00:28:22,970 --> 00:28:24,305
He honest-to-gosh was.
457
00:28:29,210 --> 00:28:31,580
I read until
the sun came up.
458
00:28:31,613 --> 00:28:33,180
Mr. Rayberry's novel,
459
00:28:33,214 --> 00:28:35,550
The Jupiter Journals
was like Flash Gordon,
460
00:28:35,584 --> 00:28:37,586
as if Fitzgerald
had written it.
461
00:28:37,619 --> 00:28:40,354
And I couldn't believe
that Mr. Rayberry
was just letting it sit,
462
00:28:40,387 --> 00:28:42,456
unpublished in a cardboard box.
463
00:28:43,390 --> 00:28:44,892
So, Betty,
464
00:28:44,925 --> 00:28:47,294
what happened when Willie
walked you home last night?
465
00:28:47,328 --> 00:28:49,230
Nothing. No butterflies.
466
00:28:50,364 --> 00:28:52,132
Oh, dear.
467
00:28:52,166 --> 00:28:54,034
Is it that your
heart's still set on Archie,
do you think?
468
00:28:54,068 --> 00:28:56,337
Yes, which means I'm doomed.
469
00:28:56,370 --> 00:28:59,473
Betty, we talked about this.
470
00:28:59,507 --> 00:29:02,876
Romeo and Juliet
had logistical problems,
but they figured it out.
471
00:29:02,910 --> 00:29:04,311
Veronica, they both died.
472
00:29:05,246 --> 00:29:06,715
Not until act five.
473
00:29:06,747 --> 00:29:08,617
And only after they lost
474
00:29:08,650 --> 00:29:10,117
their cherries, I might add.
475
00:29:12,253 --> 00:29:13,821
Anyways, I have an idea.
476
00:29:15,489 --> 00:29:17,592
One way to get close to someone
477
00:29:17,626 --> 00:29:20,528
is by having long, meaningful
478
00:29:20,562 --> 00:29:22,129
late night conversations
with them.
479
00:29:22,162 --> 00:29:27,501
So, why don't you and Archie
wait for your respective
480
00:29:27,535 --> 00:29:29,770
gatekeeping adults
to go to sleep?
481
00:29:29,803 --> 00:29:33,240
Then, call each other up
on the telephone.
482
00:29:33,274 --> 00:29:35,009
Start having intimate
heart to hearts
483
00:29:35,042 --> 00:29:36,777
and get to know
each other that way.
484
00:29:36,810 --> 00:29:39,581
Well, I wish, but Archie
doesn't have a telephone
in his bedroom.
485
00:29:39,614 --> 00:29:40,481
Shoot.
486
00:29:41,415 --> 00:29:42,783
Are you sure?
487
00:29:42,816 --> 00:29:44,385
I am. I can look
into Archie's room from mine.
488
00:29:45,419 --> 00:29:46,954
Sorry.
489
00:29:46,987 --> 00:29:50,124
You can look into Archie's
bedroom window from yours?
490
00:29:56,163 --> 00:29:57,464
Does this mean
you've glimpsed him--
491
00:29:57,498 --> 00:30:00,401
Yes, many, many times.
492
00:30:02,269 --> 00:30:06,974
Betty, I think I have to see
this floor show for myself.
493
00:30:07,007 --> 00:30:09,143
What time does
the curtain usually go up?
494
00:30:13,414 --> 00:30:15,215
Hey, grease monkey.
495
00:30:15,249 --> 00:30:19,019
When I got home last night,
I noticed a smudge
on my windshield.
496
00:30:19,053 --> 00:30:20,421
Why don't you bring it
back to the station?
497
00:30:20,454 --> 00:30:21,723
I'll take another crack at it.
498
00:30:21,756 --> 00:30:23,558
I'll do that.
499
00:30:23,591 --> 00:30:25,993
In the meantime,
how about you get me
a soda from the cafeteria...
500
00:30:27,127 --> 00:30:28,329
water-boy?
501
00:30:30,831 --> 00:30:32,132
Why don't you get it
yourself, Julian?
502
00:30:32,166 --> 00:30:34,268
I would, but I'm saving
my energy,
503
00:30:34,301 --> 00:30:36,236
so I can obliterate
your dad's record
504
00:30:36,270 --> 00:30:38,305
against Centerville
this weekend.
505
00:30:38,339 --> 00:30:41,275
I mean, somebody's
got to do it.
506
00:30:42,176 --> 00:30:43,877
And it's clearly
not going to be--
507
00:30:50,719 --> 00:30:51,985
Hey, whoa.
508
00:30:55,989 --> 00:30:58,660
Mary, I just got here
and I heard what happened.
509
00:30:58,693 --> 00:31:01,529
I'll talk to Featherhead
and we'll straighten
out this mess.
510
00:31:01,563 --> 00:31:02,764
Back off, Frank.
511
00:31:02,797 --> 00:31:04,064
I'm his mother.
512
00:31:04,098 --> 00:31:05,232
I'll take this round.
513
00:31:10,904 --> 00:31:12,306
Gather up, girls.
514
00:31:12,339 --> 00:31:14,743
I've decided on assignments
for the season.
515
00:31:14,776 --> 00:31:17,111
For starters,
Toni Topaz will perch
516
00:31:17,144 --> 00:31:19,079
at the top of our
Vixens pyramid.
517
00:31:20,114 --> 00:31:21,382
But I'm always the flyer.
518
00:31:21,415 --> 00:31:23,117
-Not this year.
-This is outrageous.
519
00:31:23,150 --> 00:31:26,755
No, this is cheerleading.
520
00:31:26,788 --> 00:31:28,922
Of course,
if you're feeling frosted
521
00:31:28,956 --> 00:31:34,194
by my leadership choices,
you're welcome to quit,
Evelyn. Immediately.
522
00:31:42,336 --> 00:31:43,937
-I'll stay.
-Sorry. What was that?
523
00:31:43,971 --> 00:31:46,006
-I'll stay.
-Ah, fab.
524
00:31:46,841 --> 00:31:48,942
Now, on to other business.
525
00:31:51,111 --> 00:31:53,615
Archie, tell me
what's going on.
526
00:31:53,648 --> 00:31:57,985
I saw you and your father
play basketball
practically every day.
527
00:31:58,018 --> 00:31:59,554
You love it.
528
00:31:59,587 --> 00:32:01,422
So why don't you want
to play on the team?
529
00:32:02,791 --> 00:32:04,458
Is it because of Uncle Frank?
530
00:32:04,491 --> 00:32:05,426
No.
531
00:32:06,460 --> 00:32:07,461
No, it's not, Frank.
532
00:32:08,996 --> 00:32:11,999
It's... Well, you said it, Mom.
533
00:32:13,568 --> 00:32:17,004
Basketball was something
Dad and I did together.
534
00:32:17,037 --> 00:32:19,973
Whenever I walk into a gym
or pick up a ball...
535
00:32:21,910 --> 00:32:23,444
I think about Dad.
536
00:32:23,477 --> 00:32:25,979
And suddenly it's like
there's an anvil on my heart.
537
00:32:27,715 --> 00:32:29,751
And if I played, I just know
538
00:32:29,784 --> 00:32:33,487
all I'd be thinking is
"I wish Dad were here
watching me from the stands."
539
00:32:33,521 --> 00:32:34,455
I understand.
540
00:32:36,558 --> 00:32:37,491
I wish that too.
541
00:32:40,695 --> 00:32:41,729
And then there's
the other thing.
542
00:32:43,964 --> 00:32:45,299
If I played...
543
00:32:47,201 --> 00:32:48,469
What if I wasn't good enough?
544
00:32:50,204 --> 00:32:51,972
What if I tarnished
Dad's memory?
545
00:32:52,005 --> 00:32:54,141
Oh, Archie.
546
00:32:54,174 --> 00:32:56,009
I know Frank suggested
that your father
547
00:32:56,043 --> 00:32:59,848
wouldn't be proud of you,
but that is simply not true.
548
00:32:59,881 --> 00:33:02,517
Your father would be so proud.
549
00:33:02,550 --> 00:33:05,820
Listen, you don't have
to play basketball
if you don't want to.
550
00:33:05,854 --> 00:33:09,456
But nothing would make
your father happier than to see
you play on his team.
551
00:33:10,892 --> 00:33:12,359
Maybe even wearing his number.
552
00:33:13,761 --> 00:33:15,395
Nothing would make
me happier, too.
553
00:33:17,197 --> 00:33:18,999
And one way or the other,
554
00:33:19,032 --> 00:33:20,702
I'm going to ask
Frank to ease up on you.
555
00:33:25,540 --> 00:33:27,241
Mr. Rayberry, I...
556
00:33:27,274 --> 00:33:31,746
really hope you don't get
upset, but I read your novel.
557
00:33:34,081 --> 00:33:36,918
Golly, I... I loved it.
558
00:33:36,951 --> 00:33:40,354
-You have got
to get this published.
-Eh.
559
00:33:40,387 --> 00:33:45,125
Just a minute. You...
You stole my manuscript?
560
00:33:45,158 --> 00:33:46,895
Only for a night.
561
00:33:46,928 --> 00:33:50,130
You are as much
of a thief as Fieldstone.
562
00:33:51,064 --> 00:33:52,634
Oh, Mr. Rayberry, please, I--
563
00:33:52,667 --> 00:33:54,969
No, get out of here.
564
00:33:55,003 --> 00:33:56,504
Give me my manuscript.
565
00:33:56,538 --> 00:33:58,540
Yeah, no, I'll go.
566
00:33:58,573 --> 00:34:00,207
But you have got
to get this published.
567
00:34:00,240 --> 00:34:02,644
-I can help you--
-Get out of my house.
568
00:34:11,920 --> 00:34:16,056
Pretty swinging how you gave
that Evernever chick what for.
569
00:34:16,089 --> 00:34:18,626
I always strive for the best
cheer team possible.
570
00:34:18,660 --> 00:34:19,994
Well...
571
00:34:20,028 --> 00:34:22,496
I'd like to show you
my appreciation.
572
00:34:23,163 --> 00:34:24,298
Would that be okay?
573
00:34:25,733 --> 00:34:27,067
Mo... More than okay.
574
00:34:48,790 --> 00:34:53,895
This isn't exactly
what I imagined our
stakeout would be like.
575
00:34:53,928 --> 00:34:56,330
What exactly did you imagine?
576
00:34:56,363 --> 00:34:59,767
Truthfully? Jimmy Stewart
and Grace Kelly in Rear Window.
577
00:35:00,802 --> 00:35:01,669
Hmm.
578
00:35:03,638 --> 00:35:05,405
Hello.
579
00:35:05,439 --> 00:35:08,241
We interrupt your regularly
scheduled programming
580
00:35:08,275 --> 00:35:10,511
with an emergency
flutter bum alert.
581
00:35:11,579 --> 00:35:13,047
God bless America.
582
00:35:15,115 --> 00:35:19,319
Stand back, Ringling Brothers,
because this is the greatest
show on Earth.
583
00:35:19,353 --> 00:35:21,254
Ooh, do you have binoculars?
584
00:35:22,991 --> 00:35:24,892
Never mind.
585
00:35:24,926 --> 00:35:29,129
We don't even need them
with the size of Archie's
bulging... muscles.
586
00:35:30,197 --> 00:35:32,132
Mayday. Duck and cover.
587
00:35:32,165 --> 00:35:35,036
Oh, my God,
I should have known.
588
00:35:35,069 --> 00:35:37,705
The same thing happened
to Jimmy Stewart.
589
00:35:37,739 --> 00:35:40,140
Yeah, but at least he was
trying to catch a murderer.
590
00:35:40,173 --> 00:35:42,610
We're just peeping Patties.
591
00:35:42,644 --> 00:35:43,511
Ugh!
592
00:35:51,586 --> 00:35:52,987
Did you get any sleep?
593
00:35:53,021 --> 00:35:56,490
- Not a wink. You?
- The same.
594
00:35:56,524 --> 00:35:59,292
But it gave me time to think.
And if he did see us,
595
00:35:59,326 --> 00:36:03,230
then he's probably just
as embarrassed as we are,
and won't say a word about it.
596
00:36:04,331 --> 00:36:06,400
I mean,
it's positively shameless.
597
00:36:06,433 --> 00:36:09,436
The way he struts around
like a... like a peacock,
598
00:36:09,469 --> 00:36:12,006
flashing those absurd
abdominal muscles over there--
599
00:36:15,208 --> 00:36:16,376
Howdy, ladies.
600
00:36:17,145 --> 00:36:18,680
How's it going?
601
00:36:18,713 --> 00:36:21,248
Archie, good morning.
602
00:36:21,281 --> 00:36:23,618
Veronica, would you mind
giving Betty and I a minute?
603
00:36:24,251 --> 00:36:25,753
In... In private?
604
00:36:29,256 --> 00:36:32,627
-Of course. Betty,
we'll catch up anon.
-Mmm.
605
00:36:32,660 --> 00:36:36,964
Archie... keep up
the good work.
606
00:36:45,205 --> 00:36:46,708
So, I...
607
00:36:48,142 --> 00:36:51,311
saw you
and Veronica last night.
608
00:36:52,780 --> 00:36:53,648
Looking at me.
609
00:36:55,583 --> 00:36:58,686
Oh, sorry, I don't know
what you're talking about.
610
00:36:58,720 --> 00:37:00,253
Betty, it's okay.
611
00:37:02,023 --> 00:37:03,725
I liked it.
612
00:37:03,758 --> 00:37:07,695
You know, my uncle's
got me real busy
during the day, but...
613
00:37:07,729 --> 00:37:10,464
every night I end up
in my room.
614
00:37:13,668 --> 00:37:19,239
Every night I end up
in my bedroom, too.
615
00:37:19,272 --> 00:37:21,308
What if we ended up
in our bedrooms,
616
00:37:22,210 --> 00:37:23,745
you know, at the same time?
617
00:37:24,679 --> 00:37:25,546
And...
618
00:37:26,748 --> 00:37:27,615
looked at each other?
619
00:37:30,118 --> 00:37:32,787
How about tonight?
Say midnight?
620
00:37:35,089 --> 00:37:36,958
Yeah, I'll be there.
621
00:37:36,991 --> 00:37:39,259
Same.
622
00:37:39,292 --> 00:37:43,296
And I'll be wearing
something special.
623
00:37:46,200 --> 00:37:48,503
Okay.
624
00:37:48,536 --> 00:37:50,505
All right. Well, I gotta...
I gotta run to the gym, Betty,
625
00:37:50,538 --> 00:37:54,008
but, yeah, I sure am excited.
626
00:37:55,375 --> 00:37:56,778
Betty, I'm really excited.
627
00:37:56,811 --> 00:37:59,346
Me too. I'm like,
beyond excited.
628
00:38:10,525 --> 00:38:12,492
Hey, water-boy,
stay on the sidelines.
629
00:38:12,527 --> 00:38:13,694
Court's for players only.
630
00:38:14,562 --> 00:38:15,863
Good.
631
00:38:15,897 --> 00:38:16,898
'Cause I'm here to play.
632
00:38:18,666 --> 00:38:19,934
You can't just let him
on the team, Coach.
633
00:38:21,569 --> 00:38:23,104
How do we even know
if he's any good?
634
00:38:31,444 --> 00:38:32,747
Any other questions?
635
00:38:34,215 --> 00:38:36,684
All right then,
let's keep warming up.
636
00:38:41,255 --> 00:38:42,890
I'm not doing this for you,
Uncle Frank.
637
00:38:42,924 --> 00:38:44,926
I'm doing this for myself.
638
00:38:44,959 --> 00:38:47,795
And for my mom, and my dad.
639
00:38:49,329 --> 00:38:50,665
I respect that, Archie.
640
00:38:53,901 --> 00:38:55,303
Dr. Werthers,
641
00:38:55,335 --> 00:38:58,405
I confiscated this from
Dilton Doiley today.
642
00:38:59,874 --> 00:39:02,844
It is like fighting a hydra,
Mrs. Thornton.
643
00:39:02,877 --> 00:39:06,314
Cut off one head,
another grows in its place.
644
00:39:06,346 --> 00:39:11,418
Yes, except this particular
head was written
by one of our students,
645
00:39:11,451 --> 00:39:12,787
Jughead Jones.
646
00:41:40,267 --> 00:41:41,569
Betty.
647
00:41:41,602 --> 00:41:44,438
What in the actual hell
is going on here?
648
00:41:44,472 --> 00:41:46,941
What in God's name
are you doing?