1 00:00:02,263 --> 00:00:04,308 [Jughead] After Dr. Werthers' editorial, 2 00:00:04,352 --> 00:00:08,051 comic books were periodicals non grata in Riverdale, 3 00:00:08,095 --> 00:00:12,316 just as I'd become one of Pep Comics' go to writers. 4 00:00:12,360 --> 00:00:14,144 And speaking of Pep Comics, 5 00:00:14,188 --> 00:00:15,624 I noticed some of their recent output 6 00:00:15,667 --> 00:00:17,887 bore an uncanny resemblance to stories 7 00:00:17,930 --> 00:00:21,282 written by my favorite pulp writer of all time, Brad Rayberry. 8 00:00:21,325 --> 00:00:23,371 But where was Rayberry's credit? 9 00:00:23,414 --> 00:00:25,068 -[door closes] -Mr. Fieldstone, 10 00:00:25,112 --> 00:00:27,201 the comic book that you just published 11 00:00:27,244 --> 00:00:29,768 is beat for beat, exactly like a story 12 00:00:29,812 --> 00:00:34,121 -that Brad Rayberry published ten years ago. -Hold on. 13 00:00:34,164 --> 00:00:37,472 The Rayberry story is called November County. 14 00:00:37,515 --> 00:00:40,040 Ours is called November Country. 15 00:00:40,083 --> 00:00:42,172 Is Pep Comics in the business of plagiarizing? 16 00:00:42,216 --> 00:00:45,045 That is an ugly word we never use around here, all right? 17 00:00:47,264 --> 00:00:49,310 But it's all coming back to me now. 18 00:00:49,353 --> 00:00:52,704 I dimly remember trying to reach out to this Rayberry guy 19 00:00:52,748 --> 00:00:56,143 about a rights inquiry. 20 00:00:56,186 --> 00:00:59,494 But he never returned my calls, so I just assumed he was probably dead. 21 00:01:03,933 --> 00:01:06,327 You know, I've been here a couple of days now, 22 00:01:06,370 --> 00:01:07,763 and I've observed a few things. 23 00:01:09,678 --> 00:01:11,158 Take a break, Archie. 24 00:01:15,988 --> 00:01:19,818 Your mom's concerned about you, and so am I. 25 00:01:19,862 --> 00:01:23,170 The lying, the sneaking around, that business with the Blossom girl. 26 00:01:23,213 --> 00:01:27,130 Your grades are mediocre and you're not pulling your weight around the house. 27 00:01:27,174 --> 00:01:28,305 How do you think your dad would feel? 28 00:01:28,349 --> 00:01:30,699 You think he'd be proud of you? 29 00:01:30,742 --> 00:01:32,570 What did he say to you before he went off to war? 30 00:01:33,441 --> 00:01:34,311 Remind me. 31 00:01:38,054 --> 00:01:39,447 He said that I should take care of mom. 32 00:01:40,795 --> 00:01:42,406 And be the man of the house. 33 00:01:42,450 --> 00:01:44,060 That's right. 34 00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:45,453 Now, do you think you've lived up to that? 35 00:01:46,845 --> 00:01:49,326 No, but you're going to start. 36 00:01:50,545 --> 00:01:51,589 Right now. 37 00:01:53,548 --> 00:01:54,331 Come with me. 38 00:01:56,027 --> 00:01:59,206 Mom, I'm sorry if I've been disrespecting you lately. 39 00:01:59,249 --> 00:02:00,685 I promise I'll be a better son to you. 40 00:02:02,078 --> 00:02:04,080 Thank you, Archie. 41 00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:05,603 I know you will, honey. 42 00:02:06,778 --> 00:02:08,911 Good man. 43 00:02:08,954 --> 00:02:10,478 Tomorrow we'll talk to your principal about getting your grades up. 44 00:02:16,310 --> 00:02:20,357 ♪ I feel so ♪ 45 00:02:22,664 --> 00:02:23,491 ♪ Good ♪ 46 00:02:29,888 --> 00:02:32,152 ♪ I can concentrate on you ♪ 47 00:02:33,849 --> 00:02:34,937 ♪ Right now ♪ 48 00:02:34,980 --> 00:02:36,504 [bell ringing] 49 00:02:38,549 --> 00:02:39,724 [girls chattering indistinctly] 50 00:02:40,899 --> 00:02:42,684 Veronica, can I bend your ear? 51 00:02:42,727 --> 00:02:44,338 Sure, Betty. 52 00:02:44,381 --> 00:02:45,339 What's on your mind? 53 00:02:47,210 --> 00:02:49,647 I was just wondering... 54 00:02:50,692 --> 00:02:52,128 what's sex like? 55 00:02:54,304 --> 00:02:58,003 My goodness. And I've barely just had my morning java. 56 00:02:58,047 --> 00:03:00,267 All I'm doing is reading about it. 57 00:03:00,310 --> 00:03:04,706 And I just wanted to talk to someone with, you know, firsthand experience. 58 00:03:07,665 --> 00:03:10,102 Okay, truth time. 59 00:03:12,670 --> 00:03:18,067 Now, you can't tell anyone, because I have a reputation to uphold. 60 00:03:18,850 --> 00:03:21,549 But, entre nous, 61 00:03:21,591 --> 00:03:24,856 I haven't actually gone all the way with a boy. 62 00:03:25,596 --> 00:03:26,989 Not yet. 63 00:03:28,599 --> 00:03:33,387 I just assumed because you're so... sexy. 64 00:03:34,430 --> 00:03:36,390 Thanks for noticing. 65 00:03:36,433 --> 00:03:40,220 But Betty, you don't have to have sex to be sexy. 66 00:03:42,918 --> 00:03:44,746 But how do you... 67 00:03:44,789 --> 00:03:46,442 How do I... 68 00:03:46,487 --> 00:03:49,751 carry myself more like you? 69 00:03:51,883 --> 00:03:55,974 Well, there are all sorts of tricks a woman can use 70 00:03:56,018 --> 00:04:00,414 to revel in her body and feel more sensual. 71 00:04:01,980 --> 00:04:03,939 Perfume is one. 72 00:04:03,982 --> 00:04:06,594 Or a heel that puts a sway in your step. 73 00:04:06,637 --> 00:04:09,597 But my favorite little trade secret... 74 00:04:12,164 --> 00:04:13,905 is wearing sexy lingerie. 75 00:04:15,951 --> 00:04:17,779 Lingerie? 76 00:04:17,822 --> 00:04:20,216 I like the way it makes me feel. 77 00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:22,914 The soft fabric against my skin, 78 00:04:22,957 --> 00:04:27,136 knowing that it makes my body look fantastic. 79 00:04:27,179 --> 00:04:31,314 Say, why don't you give lingerie a whirl? 80 00:04:31,358 --> 00:04:34,578 Come over to the Pembrooke after school and try some on. 81 00:04:34,622 --> 00:04:36,406 [giggles] Okay, sure. 82 00:04:38,190 --> 00:04:40,367 [Cheryl] Good morning, Antoinette. 83 00:04:40,409 --> 00:04:41,411 Here's your novel back. 84 00:04:43,935 --> 00:04:44,806 What did you think of it? 85 00:04:46,460 --> 00:04:47,287 Um... 86 00:04:49,811 --> 00:04:51,900 I like the cover. 87 00:04:53,815 --> 00:04:55,991 There's something aesthetically pleasing 88 00:04:56,034 --> 00:05:00,474 about two voluptuous, feminine forms in close proximity to each other. 89 00:05:00,517 --> 00:05:02,563 Voluptuous, huh? 90 00:05:02,606 --> 00:05:05,479 Well, how about you and I go to the Dark Room 91 00:05:05,522 --> 00:05:08,177 and grab a cappuccino and privacy, 92 00:05:08,220 --> 00:05:10,745 where we can feed each other apple butter about the cover art? 93 00:05:10,788 --> 00:05:12,703 Oh, no, I couldn't possibly. 94 00:05:12,747 --> 00:05:15,097 I'm far too busy getting ready to relaunch my precious Vixens. 95 00:05:15,140 --> 00:05:17,882 Ah, yes. Your paper-shakers. 96 00:05:17,926 --> 00:05:21,016 I would ask you to join, but I'm sure being a cheerleader 97 00:05:21,059 --> 00:05:23,584 is far too square an activity for a girl-greaser like you. 98 00:05:31,156 --> 00:05:34,334 Sir, I swear on a stack of Bibles that I'm going to double down 99 00:05:34,377 --> 00:05:36,858 on my schoolwork and get my grades up. 100 00:05:36,901 --> 00:05:39,034 I want to be at least a B student. 101 00:05:39,077 --> 00:05:41,341 I'm happy to hear that, Archie. 102 00:05:41,384 --> 00:05:44,082 I feel as if there's much... 103 00:05:44,126 --> 00:05:48,173 -untapped potential within you. -[chuckles] 104 00:05:48,217 --> 00:05:52,308 And Frank, your timing couldn't be better. I wonder... 105 00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:54,789 might I have a word with you, in private? 106 00:05:54,832 --> 00:05:56,094 Of course. 107 00:05:56,138 --> 00:05:58,183 Archie, will you excuse us? 108 00:05:59,097 --> 00:06:01,143 Um, sure. 109 00:06:06,191 --> 00:06:08,803 Okay, girls, let's fire it up and see what we're working with. 110 00:06:08,846 --> 00:06:09,891 [door opens] 111 00:06:09,934 --> 00:06:12,067 ["Too Darn Hot" playing] 112 00:06:12,110 --> 00:06:14,939 ♪ It's too darn hot ♪ 113 00:06:14,983 --> 00:06:17,115 ♪ It's too darn hot ♪ 114 00:06:18,943 --> 00:06:20,031 Hope I'm not too late. 115 00:06:21,729 --> 00:06:23,774 I'm sorry, you're not on our list. 116 00:06:23,818 --> 00:06:28,779 -Better luck next year-- -Evelyn, are you the captain? 117 00:06:28,823 --> 00:06:30,999 Oh, no, that's right. That would be me. 118 00:06:31,042 --> 00:06:33,697 So quit biting at my ankles and shut your trap. 119 00:06:36,439 --> 00:06:38,223 You're not too late, Toni. 120 00:06:38,267 --> 00:06:41,139 In fact, you're first up. 121 00:06:41,183 --> 00:06:42,750 I assume you prepared a routine. 122 00:06:42,793 --> 00:06:43,620 I did. 123 00:06:46,797 --> 00:06:48,930 We got the pep. 124 00:06:48,973 --> 00:06:50,627 We got this... We got... [echoing] 125 00:06:53,151 --> 00:06:55,980 ♪ It's too darn hot ♪ 126 00:06:56,024 --> 00:06:58,853 ♪ It's too darn hot ♪ 127 00:06:58,896 --> 00:07:02,378 ♪ I'd like to sup With my baby tonight ♪ 128 00:07:04,511 --> 00:07:08,166 ♪ Refill the cup With my baby tonight ♪ 129 00:07:10,299 --> 00:07:13,433 ♪ I'd like to sup With my baby tonight ♪ 130 00:07:13,476 --> 00:07:16,000 ♪ Refill the cup With my baby tonight ♪ 131 00:07:16,044 --> 00:07:18,655 ♪ But I ain't up To my baby tonight ♪ 132 00:07:18,699 --> 00:07:20,744 ♪ 'Cause it's too darn hot ♪ 133 00:07:22,877 --> 00:07:28,230 Riverdale High School, that's our team. 134 00:07:28,273 --> 00:07:32,495 Well, razz my berries and put them in a jelly jar. 135 00:07:32,539 --> 00:07:36,412 I haven't seen that kind of pom-pom technique in years. 136 00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:39,241 Since I alone speak for the Vixens, 137 00:07:39,284 --> 00:07:44,072 I would like to officially offer you a spot on the squad. 138 00:07:44,115 --> 00:07:46,553 -Shouldn't we wait till we've seen everyone-- -Evelyn! 139 00:07:46,596 --> 00:07:49,599 Until you've proven you can do more than regurgitate a Doris Day shuffle, 140 00:07:49,643 --> 00:07:50,774 I suggest you zip it. 141 00:07:55,909 --> 00:07:57,651 [all cheering softly] 142 00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:00,305 [bell dinging] 143 00:08:04,701 --> 00:08:07,965 So, it looks like I'll be sticking around a while. 144 00:08:08,009 --> 00:08:11,229 Principal Featherhead asked me to be the basketball team's head coach. 145 00:08:11,273 --> 00:08:12,840 Oh, that's great news, Frank. 146 00:08:12,883 --> 00:08:14,406 [Frank] Well, now that the war's over, 147 00:08:14,450 --> 00:08:16,887 Featherhead wants to bring the Bulldogs back. 148 00:08:16,931 --> 00:08:19,281 Tryouts are tomorrow after school. 149 00:08:19,324 --> 00:08:21,849 I expect to see you there. 150 00:08:21,892 --> 00:08:24,982 Well, if it's all the same to you, Uncle Frank, I think I might sit this season out. 151 00:08:25,026 --> 00:08:26,462 But you love basketball. 152 00:08:28,769 --> 00:08:31,511 I've been told to focus on my studies, Mom. 153 00:08:31,554 --> 00:08:34,164 Archie, you're young. You can study and play basketball. 154 00:08:34,209 --> 00:08:35,340 You don't want me on the team. 155 00:08:36,777 --> 00:08:38,518 I'm no good. I'm out of practice. 156 00:08:38,561 --> 00:08:39,519 Archie. 157 00:08:39,562 --> 00:08:41,869 That's okay, Mary. 158 00:08:41,912 --> 00:08:44,611 If Archie doesn't feel like he's fit to play, he can contribute another way. 159 00:08:46,177 --> 00:08:47,091 As water-boy. 160 00:08:47,831 --> 00:08:48,876 [scoffs] 161 00:08:54,882 --> 00:08:56,187 [jazz music playing on stereo] 162 00:08:57,362 --> 00:08:59,451 What's the tale, nightingale? 163 00:08:59,495 --> 00:09:00,801 Come out and let me see. 164 00:09:00,844 --> 00:09:05,196 [Betty sighs] I'm... I am not sure. 165 00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:07,459 Don't be modest, Betty. It's just us girls. 166 00:09:11,899 --> 00:09:12,682 [chuckles] 167 00:09:13,509 --> 00:09:14,858 I knew it. 168 00:09:14,902 --> 00:09:16,512 I knew it would look perfect on you. 169 00:09:17,426 --> 00:09:18,949 Well, how do you feel? 170 00:09:18,993 --> 00:09:20,342 Sexy as sin? 171 00:09:20,385 --> 00:09:23,519 Hardly. I feel... embarrassed. 172 00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:25,303 Why? 173 00:09:25,347 --> 00:09:27,349 Bettie Page herself would go ape for you. 174 00:09:29,307 --> 00:09:30,700 This was a silly idea. 175 00:09:30,744 --> 00:09:32,572 -I'm gonna change. -Betty, wait. 176 00:09:33,224 --> 00:09:34,138 Come here. 177 00:09:36,924 --> 00:09:39,535 Give yourself a minute to get used to the lace. 178 00:09:41,929 --> 00:09:43,191 Deep breaths. 179 00:09:43,234 --> 00:09:44,671 [inhales] 180 00:09:44,714 --> 00:09:46,542 [both exhaling] 181 00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:49,153 Now look at yourself. 182 00:09:49,197 --> 00:09:52,287 Look at your beautiful body and repeat after me. 183 00:09:54,245 --> 00:09:59,120 "I am a gorgeous, powerful, sexy siren, 184 00:09:59,163 --> 00:10:01,209 at the height of my womanly powers." 185 00:10:03,733 --> 00:10:07,215 And may God have mercy on the boys of Riverdale High. 186 00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:14,439 [knocking on door] 187 00:10:17,181 --> 00:10:19,706 [door unlocks] 188 00:10:20,794 --> 00:10:23,927 Oh, wow. Mr. Rayberry, uh... 189 00:10:23,971 --> 00:10:26,147 I'm Jughead Jones. 190 00:10:26,190 --> 00:10:29,324 I'm a writer over at Pep Comics in Riverdale, 191 00:10:29,367 --> 00:10:31,500 and I know for a fact that they are plagiarizing 192 00:10:31,543 --> 00:10:34,068 and publishing your stories for monetary gain. 193 00:10:34,721 --> 00:10:35,547 Huh? 194 00:10:36,374 --> 00:10:37,419 They're ripping you off. 195 00:10:40,683 --> 00:10:44,774 I think you should send them a cease and desist letter 196 00:10:44,818 --> 00:10:46,907 -or sue them or something. -Yeah, hold on, hold on. 197 00:10:46,950 --> 00:10:49,387 You're employed by Pep Comics, 198 00:10:49,431 --> 00:10:51,172 and you want me to sue Pep Comics? 199 00:10:51,215 --> 00:10:52,564 Why? 200 00:10:52,608 --> 00:10:56,743 Well, that might be a bit extreme. 201 00:10:56,786 --> 00:10:58,701 But, uh... [chuckles nervously] 202 00:10:59,789 --> 00:11:01,443 I think you're the tops. 203 00:11:01,486 --> 00:11:04,925 And I... You... You shouldn't be treated this way. 204 00:11:04,968 --> 00:11:08,755 I, um... I'm sure it's just some kind of misunderstanding. 205 00:11:08,798 --> 00:11:10,017 Uh, it's... It's... 206 00:11:11,235 --> 00:11:13,237 It's not. 207 00:11:13,281 --> 00:11:16,197 It's theft. I went through all of Pep Comics' back issues. 208 00:11:16,240 --> 00:11:19,417 They've poached like eight of your stories. 209 00:11:19,461 --> 00:11:22,507 Um, this is just the latest one. 210 00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:28,775 [Cheryl] Spit it out, Evelyn. 211 00:11:30,777 --> 00:11:34,694 I have some concerns, 212 00:11:34,737 --> 00:11:37,000 about our new Vixen, Toni Topaz. 213 00:11:37,044 --> 00:11:40,438 Feeling threatened should only make you work harder. 214 00:11:40,482 --> 00:11:45,530 I just don't think that we should have girls like Toni on our squad. 215 00:11:45,574 --> 00:11:49,621 You best choose your next words very carefully, Evelyn. 216 00:11:49,665 --> 00:11:51,885 Riverdale High is fully integrated, as are the Vixens. 217 00:11:51,928 --> 00:11:53,451 If you have a problem with that-- 218 00:11:53,495 --> 00:11:56,977 No, my problem isn't with Toni being Black. It's... 219 00:11:57,020 --> 00:12:00,894 Well, it's with the fact that everyone knows that she's a lezzie. 220 00:12:00,937 --> 00:12:03,723 And I wouldn't be comfortable being naked in the locker room with her. 221 00:12:03,766 --> 00:12:07,248 I don't know where you heard such a disgusting rumor, Evelyn, 222 00:12:07,291 --> 00:12:10,468 but let me clue you in. Toni Topaz is not a... 223 00:12:11,556 --> 00:12:13,907 Whatever that word is. 224 00:12:13,950 --> 00:12:16,213 I wouldn't tolerate such behavior on my squad, 225 00:12:16,257 --> 00:12:19,303 so shut your damn mouth about it! 226 00:12:19,347 --> 00:12:21,828 Now, kindly put an egg in your shoe and beat it. 227 00:12:21,871 --> 00:12:24,091 A new episode of Oh, Mija is about to begin and you're not invited to stay and watch. 228 00:12:27,572 --> 00:12:29,139 [Lizzo] Topaz. 229 00:12:29,183 --> 00:12:31,925 The scuttlebutt is you're a paper-shaker now. 230 00:12:31,968 --> 00:12:34,275 [laughs] What happened? 231 00:12:34,318 --> 00:12:35,929 Let me guess. 232 00:12:35,972 --> 00:12:38,627 Still bird-dogging that redheaded closet-case? 233 00:12:38,670 --> 00:12:41,673 Well, not that I have to justify my actions to you, Lizzo, 234 00:12:41,717 --> 00:12:46,069 you're currently looking at Riverdale High's first Black cheerleader ever. 235 00:12:46,113 --> 00:12:49,464 Now, that may not mean a lot to you, but it does to me. 236 00:12:49,507 --> 00:12:51,074 So it's political for you. 237 00:12:51,118 --> 00:12:53,598 Yeah. Got it. That makes sense. 238 00:12:53,642 --> 00:12:55,775 Damn, Topaz. You must really be on the hook. 239 00:12:57,951 --> 00:12:59,387 Not that I blame you. 240 00:12:59,430 --> 00:13:01,781 That's one cherry lollipop I'd happily lick. 241 00:13:02,694 --> 00:13:03,652 [chuckles] 242 00:13:13,618 --> 00:13:14,445 [clears throat] 243 00:13:16,056 --> 00:13:18,014 What the heck did you do with my car? 244 00:13:18,058 --> 00:13:21,191 Well, that hot rod was an unnecessary distraction, Archie. 245 00:13:21,235 --> 00:13:23,193 Don't worry, it's safe and sound, 246 00:13:23,237 --> 00:13:24,760 and you'll get it back once your grades are where they should be. 247 00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:26,718 How do you expect me to get to school? 248 00:13:26,762 --> 00:13:30,070 You can walk, take the bus, ride your bike. 249 00:13:30,113 --> 00:13:32,899 Or you can hitch a ride with me, but you better hustle. 250 00:13:32,942 --> 00:13:35,162 You don't want to be late for your first day as water-boy. 251 00:13:43,910 --> 00:13:45,955 Well, are you wearing them? 252 00:13:48,175 --> 00:13:50,351 Don't flip out, but I am not. 253 00:13:50,394 --> 00:13:53,441 Betty, how will you ever get used to lace panties 254 00:13:53,484 --> 00:13:55,225 if you don't wear them every day? 255 00:13:55,269 --> 00:13:57,924 You know, I know, but there's gym class later today, 256 00:13:57,967 --> 00:13:59,577 and I didn't want people to see me wearing them 257 00:13:59,621 --> 00:14:02,537 and think that I was some kind of nymphomaniac. 258 00:14:02,580 --> 00:14:07,411 Yet another word invented by men who want to gaslight women. 259 00:14:07,455 --> 00:14:11,198 Anyway, now that I'm your new wing woman, I've been thinking. 260 00:14:12,939 --> 00:14:15,463 It's time we found you a man, 261 00:14:15,506 --> 00:14:17,769 who can appreciate what an incredible, 262 00:14:17,813 --> 00:14:21,077 powerful, beautiful knockout you are. 263 00:14:21,121 --> 00:14:23,819 So, now that you and Kevin are no more, who do you have your eye on? 264 00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:27,475 There is someone, actually. 265 00:14:27,518 --> 00:14:28,780 Don't be coy. 266 00:14:28,824 --> 00:14:29,781 Who's the lucky duck? 267 00:14:31,566 --> 00:14:32,480 It's Archie. 268 00:14:34,525 --> 00:14:35,352 [laughs sheepishly] 269 00:14:37,224 --> 00:14:41,228 Yes, Archie is a teen dream boat, isn't he? 270 00:14:41,271 --> 00:14:42,055 [chuckles softly] 271 00:14:44,709 --> 00:14:46,929 Well, you're in luck. 272 00:14:46,973 --> 00:14:50,106 I spied him in the lounge mere seconds ago. 273 00:14:50,150 --> 00:14:52,979 So why don't you march on in there and ask him out? 274 00:14:53,022 --> 00:14:55,372 Let's do it now, before you can talk yourself out of it. 275 00:15:00,508 --> 00:15:01,378 Hi, Archie. 276 00:15:03,250 --> 00:15:05,905 Betty, hey. What's the scoop? 277 00:15:08,037 --> 00:15:09,778 The scoop is... 278 00:15:13,825 --> 00:15:16,654 Do you maybe want to go to the movies with me? 279 00:15:16,698 --> 00:15:19,222 The movies? 280 00:15:19,266 --> 00:15:22,312 Well, heck yeah, Betty. I would love to take you to the movies. 281 00:15:22,356 --> 00:15:23,226 [Betty] Really? 282 00:15:26,490 --> 00:15:27,361 But I can't. 283 00:15:30,407 --> 00:15:32,888 I can't right now. 284 00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:35,021 It's my Uncle Frank. He's being a real pain in the ass. 285 00:15:35,064 --> 00:15:37,937 He's got me on a trip for biscuits making me the team water-boy. 286 00:15:40,243 --> 00:15:43,681 Maybe he'll ease up in the next couple of weeks and we can go then? 287 00:15:47,163 --> 00:15:49,557 Of course. Yeah, another time. It's fine. 288 00:15:51,863 --> 00:15:55,084 [Betty crying] 289 00:15:55,128 --> 00:15:57,695 At least he was nice enough to come up with an excuse. 290 00:15:58,696 --> 00:16:00,829 Or it's the truth. 291 00:16:00,872 --> 00:16:04,398 And you just need to let Archie work out his family strife for a bit. 292 00:16:04,441 --> 00:16:06,574 [sighs] 293 00:16:06,617 --> 00:16:10,752 Say, why don't we nab ourselves a couple of good time boys 294 00:16:10,795 --> 00:16:11,709 and go on a double date? 295 00:16:13,102 --> 00:16:15,191 With... With who? 296 00:16:15,235 --> 00:16:17,802 Isn't there an all-boys private school down the lane? 297 00:16:17,846 --> 00:16:19,979 -You mean Stonewall Prep? -Mmm. 298 00:16:20,022 --> 00:16:21,719 J'adoreprivate school boys. 299 00:16:22,677 --> 00:16:24,809 So sexually frustrated. 300 00:16:24,853 --> 00:16:26,724 So easy to torment and manipulate. 301 00:16:29,249 --> 00:16:30,380 Hmm. 302 00:16:30,424 --> 00:16:33,035 ["Sweet Georgia Brown" playing] 303 00:16:54,970 --> 00:16:56,232 Let's see what we have here. 304 00:17:03,457 --> 00:17:05,589 "A story of forbidden feminine love." 305 00:17:06,982 --> 00:17:07,809 [laughs] 306 00:17:08,462 --> 00:17:09,550 I knew it. 307 00:17:09,593 --> 00:17:11,030 [Toni] Excuse me. 308 00:17:11,073 --> 00:17:12,161 Can I help you with something, Evelyn? 309 00:17:13,944 --> 00:17:15,946 You know, it's strange, Toni. 310 00:17:15,991 --> 00:17:19,429 When I asked her, Cheryl insisted that you weren't gaga for girls. 311 00:17:21,170 --> 00:17:22,911 This book, however, tells a different story. 312 00:17:22,954 --> 00:17:25,782 As a matter of fact, I read all kinds of books. 313 00:17:25,827 --> 00:17:28,656 So how about you quit sticking your nose in my business 314 00:17:28,699 --> 00:17:31,180 before I serve you up a knuckle sandwich? 315 00:17:31,224 --> 00:17:32,921 Can you dig it? 316 00:17:32,964 --> 00:17:34,662 Now, why don't you tell me 317 00:17:34,705 --> 00:17:36,838 exactly what Cheryl said. 318 00:17:39,188 --> 00:17:40,450 [Fieldstone] So, what do you think? 319 00:17:40,494 --> 00:17:43,105 First issue, hot off the presses. 320 00:17:43,149 --> 00:17:45,499 -This is so boss, boss. -[laughs] 321 00:17:45,542 --> 00:17:47,675 I mean, to see it in full color and in print with my name. 322 00:17:47,718 --> 00:17:48,937 And that's just the final proof. 323 00:17:48,980 --> 00:17:49,807 [footsteps approaching] 324 00:17:51,548 --> 00:17:53,855 Which one of you shucksters is Al Fieldstone? 325 00:17:53,898 --> 00:17:56,118 I am. Who are you? 326 00:17:56,162 --> 00:17:58,077 Brad Rayberry. 327 00:17:58,120 --> 00:18:00,383 You've been plagiarizing my short stories for your comic books. 328 00:18:00,427 --> 00:18:03,212 Hey, now. What's to say that two different writers 329 00:18:03,256 --> 00:18:05,693 couldn't have had similar ideas concurrently? 330 00:18:05,736 --> 00:18:09,218 Once maybe, but eight times? 331 00:18:09,262 --> 00:18:11,177 Do you think that's going to pass muster in the courts? 332 00:18:11,220 --> 00:18:12,308 The courts? 333 00:18:12,352 --> 00:18:13,918 [laughs] You listen to me, pal. 334 00:18:13,962 --> 00:18:16,443 I have got the top lawyers in New York on retainer. 335 00:18:16,486 --> 00:18:19,228 Uh, fellas, acknowledging that... 336 00:18:19,272 --> 00:18:23,798 someone at some time might have read a book and been inspired by it, 337 00:18:23,841 --> 00:18:25,713 what if we put Mr. Rayberry's name 338 00:18:25,756 --> 00:18:29,064 on all future reprints of stories that are similar to his, 339 00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:32,633 and pay him a modest but appropriate fee 340 00:18:32,676 --> 00:18:34,025 for the rights to adapt his work? 341 00:18:34,069 --> 00:18:35,114 How much dough are we talking about? 342 00:18:37,072 --> 00:18:41,424 -How about-- -How about a $2 adaptation fee per story? 343 00:18:46,081 --> 00:18:48,431 Deal. 344 00:18:48,475 --> 00:18:49,606 But I want to be compensated for the eight stories you've already adapted. 345 00:18:50,564 --> 00:18:51,434 Comprende? 346 00:18:53,306 --> 00:18:54,568 [sighs] 347 00:18:54,611 --> 00:18:55,525 Deal. 348 00:18:58,920 --> 00:19:00,574 [bell dinging] 349 00:19:00,617 --> 00:19:02,619 Well, all's well that ends well, eh, Mr. Rayberry? 350 00:19:03,620 --> 00:19:04,926 We shall see. 351 00:19:04,969 --> 00:19:06,971 So how's this gonna work, anyway? 352 00:19:07,015 --> 00:19:09,931 It's up to you. You, um, could adapt your own stories 353 00:19:09,974 --> 00:19:13,761 or you could get a a different Pep Comics writer to do it. 354 00:19:13,804 --> 00:19:14,805 Writers like you, maybe? 355 00:19:17,243 --> 00:19:19,636 It would be an honor, sir. 356 00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:23,510 I love all your stories in all the different pulp magazines. 357 00:19:23,553 --> 00:19:26,861 Weird Tales, Startling Stories, Fantastic Adventures. 358 00:19:27,862 --> 00:19:29,559 [Brad] Does, uh... 359 00:19:29,603 --> 00:19:31,779 Does your old man approve of your literary aspirations? 360 00:19:31,822 --> 00:19:32,823 'Cause mine sure as hell didn't. 361 00:19:33,694 --> 00:19:35,826 Couldn't tell you. 362 00:19:35,870 --> 00:19:38,133 Did he leave the mortal coil? I'm sorry. 363 00:19:39,308 --> 00:19:41,092 Oh, no, uh... 364 00:19:41,136 --> 00:19:42,572 He lives in Toledo. 365 00:19:42,616 --> 00:19:44,966 I think. He, uh... 366 00:19:45,009 --> 00:19:46,663 There was this big, messy robbery 367 00:19:46,707 --> 00:19:51,407 in town a few years back, and he was the prime suspect. 368 00:19:51,451 --> 00:19:55,106 So he hopped on his bike and split from Riverdale. 369 00:19:55,150 --> 00:19:56,151 [glass clinks] 370 00:19:56,195 --> 00:19:57,413 Have you written about that? 371 00:20:00,286 --> 00:20:02,897 -No. -You should. 372 00:20:02,940 --> 00:20:05,595 You write anything other than funny books? 373 00:20:05,639 --> 00:20:08,729 Yeah, no, I... I write short stories, but it's been a while. 374 00:20:11,688 --> 00:20:13,560 If I wrote a short story, would you read it? 375 00:20:16,563 --> 00:20:19,566 [sighs] Crud. We were having such a swell time. 376 00:20:23,352 --> 00:20:24,571 I'm yanking your chain. 377 00:20:24,614 --> 00:20:26,312 [chuckles] 378 00:20:26,355 --> 00:20:27,748 Sure I would. 379 00:20:27,791 --> 00:20:29,358 Pass me the ketchup, will you? 380 00:20:29,402 --> 00:20:31,186 [laughs] 381 00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:32,448 ["Lead Me Father" playing] 382 00:20:32,492 --> 00:20:36,060 ♪ When my hands are tired ♪ 383 00:20:36,104 --> 00:20:39,325 ♪ And my step is slow ♪ 384 00:20:40,413 --> 00:20:42,241 ♪ Walk beside me ♪ 385 00:20:42,284 --> 00:20:48,116 ♪ And give me The strength to go ♪ 386 00:20:48,159 --> 00:20:51,946 ♪ Fill my face with Your courage ♪ 387 00:20:51,989 --> 00:20:55,863 ♪ So defeat won't show ♪ 388 00:20:55,906 --> 00:20:59,693 ♪ Pick me up when I stumble ♪ 389 00:20:59,736 --> 00:21:04,393 ♪ So the world won't know ♪ 390 00:21:04,437 --> 00:21:11,357 ♪ Lead me, Father With the staff of life ♪ 391 00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:12,967 [typewriter clacking] 392 00:21:13,010 --> 00:21:18,059 ♪ Give me the strength For a song ♪ 393 00:21:19,321 --> 00:21:23,238 ♪ That the words I sing ♪ 394 00:21:23,282 --> 00:21:27,547 ♪ Might more strength bring ♪ 395 00:21:27,590 --> 00:21:31,072 ♪ To help some poor troubled ♪ 396 00:21:31,115 --> 00:21:33,988 ♪ Weary worker along ♪ 397 00:21:39,254 --> 00:21:42,823 [Frank whistling] 398 00:21:42,866 --> 00:21:45,782 Good morning. I have good news for you, Archie. 399 00:21:45,826 --> 00:21:47,001 What's that? 400 00:21:47,044 --> 00:21:48,350 I got you a job. 401 00:21:48,394 --> 00:21:51,048 Pumping gas at Pop's. 402 00:21:51,092 --> 00:21:53,573 That's what being man of the house means, Archie. 403 00:21:53,616 --> 00:21:55,096 Taking on multiple responsibilities. 404 00:22:00,580 --> 00:22:01,668 [Dilton] Jughead. 405 00:22:01,711 --> 00:22:03,322 This is fat city. 406 00:22:03,365 --> 00:22:04,671 We have to celebrate. 407 00:22:04,714 --> 00:22:06,499 Wanna go to Pop's and treat us to burgers? 408 00:22:06,542 --> 00:22:08,544 Aw, man, I wish I could. 409 00:22:08,588 --> 00:22:10,329 But after school, I'm actually going over to Mr. Rayberry's house. 410 00:22:10,372 --> 00:22:12,331 I want to him to read this new story I wrote. 411 00:22:16,204 --> 00:22:17,771 [door opens] 412 00:22:17,814 --> 00:22:19,163 Cheryl Blossom, we got a big problem. 413 00:22:19,207 --> 00:22:20,295 I concur. 414 00:22:20,339 --> 00:22:21,427 -It's Midge, right? -No. 415 00:22:21,470 --> 00:22:22,515 It's you telling Evelyn Evernever 416 00:22:22,558 --> 00:22:24,081 that I don't like girls. 417 00:22:24,125 --> 00:22:25,474 She put down that you were a lezzie. 418 00:22:25,518 --> 00:22:27,302 I defended your honor and reputation. 419 00:22:27,346 --> 00:22:28,912 That's the problem. 420 00:22:28,956 --> 00:22:30,740 You don't get to speak for me. 421 00:22:30,784 --> 00:22:32,394 You don't get to define me. 422 00:22:32,438 --> 00:22:34,048 You don't get to put me in a box. 423 00:22:34,091 --> 00:22:35,615 I was just trying to protect you. 424 00:22:35,658 --> 00:22:37,834 I don't need a savior. 425 00:22:37,878 --> 00:22:41,098 I'm not ashamed of who I am or who I like. 426 00:22:41,142 --> 00:22:43,449 I never have been and I never will be. 427 00:22:43,492 --> 00:22:45,189 I don't know what you want me to say. 428 00:22:46,452 --> 00:22:47,801 I... I'm sorry. 429 00:22:47,844 --> 00:22:50,238 I'm done wasting my time on you, Cheryl. 430 00:22:50,281 --> 00:22:51,631 And I'm done with all this pussy footing. 431 00:22:51,674 --> 00:22:54,068 So... 432 00:22:54,111 --> 00:22:58,202 I hope that you get to wherever you're going, but I'm getting off this train. 433 00:22:58,246 --> 00:22:59,378 Life's too damn short. 434 00:23:02,337 --> 00:23:03,251 Wait, Toni. 435 00:23:10,693 --> 00:23:11,564 You're right. 436 00:23:13,304 --> 00:23:14,393 I... 437 00:23:15,568 --> 00:23:17,570 am attracted to girls. 438 00:23:19,310 --> 00:23:20,224 Well, that's a start. 439 00:23:23,140 --> 00:23:25,665 And I think maybe, um... 440 00:23:26,970 --> 00:23:29,103 I'm attracted to you. 441 00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:32,889 You think or you know? 442 00:23:38,068 --> 00:23:38,982 I... I know. 443 00:23:42,333 --> 00:23:43,422 Finally. 444 00:23:44,858 --> 00:23:46,033 We're getting somewhere. 445 00:23:47,817 --> 00:23:48,731 [Jughead] Hey, Mr. Rayberry. 446 00:23:49,602 --> 00:23:51,212 I brought a short story. 447 00:23:51,255 --> 00:23:53,040 Some prose I wrote last night. 448 00:23:53,867 --> 00:23:55,085 Would you look at? 449 00:23:55,129 --> 00:23:56,522 Just give me your two cents? 450 00:23:56,565 --> 00:23:59,176 Sure, but I'm not gonna pull any punches. 451 00:23:59,220 --> 00:24:01,135 Of course. Thank you. 452 00:24:01,178 --> 00:24:03,920 -[kettle whistling] -You want some tea? 453 00:24:03,964 --> 00:24:06,227 -Heck, yes. -Mmm-hmm. I'll be right back. 454 00:24:06,270 --> 00:24:07,663 Make yourself comfortable. 455 00:24:08,708 --> 00:24:10,536 [kettle whistles] 456 00:24:10,579 --> 00:24:11,580 [sighs] 457 00:24:44,526 --> 00:24:47,486 Wait. So, Kevin and Clay are also? 458 00:24:47,529 --> 00:24:50,793 Yeah. But not many people know about them. 459 00:24:50,837 --> 00:24:52,752 So, don't go around quoting it. 460 00:24:52,795 --> 00:24:54,101 No, no, of course not. 461 00:24:56,582 --> 00:24:59,367 When I was ten, my mother and her sister 462 00:24:59,410 --> 00:25:01,804 had an awful falling out. 463 00:25:01,848 --> 00:25:06,156 My Aunt Carol ended up moving to Greenwich Village to be a writer. 464 00:25:06,200 --> 00:25:09,246 My mother called her awful things, Toni. 465 00:25:10,465 --> 00:25:11,684 Like... 466 00:25:14,295 --> 00:25:16,427 [whispers] Sapphic, sexual deviant. 467 00:25:16,471 --> 00:25:17,907 Wow. 468 00:25:17,951 --> 00:25:20,823 That was around the time that I started realizing 469 00:25:20,867 --> 00:25:24,305 maybe I was like Aunt Carol. 470 00:25:26,046 --> 00:25:31,138 Even though I'd never get to live like her, loving women. 471 00:25:33,488 --> 00:25:36,273 I knew I liked girls as much as I liked boys 472 00:25:36,317 --> 00:25:39,059 for as long as I could remember. 473 00:25:40,321 --> 00:25:42,149 My parents caught me necking 474 00:25:42,192 --> 00:25:45,848 with my neighbor, Glenda, when I was 13 years old. 475 00:25:45,892 --> 00:25:47,502 And then they kicked me out of the house. 476 00:25:47,546 --> 00:25:49,199 Oh, no, Toni. 477 00:25:49,243 --> 00:25:51,027 And then I moved in with my grandma. 478 00:25:53,160 --> 00:25:56,467 And I can be exactly who I wanna be. 479 00:25:57,730 --> 00:25:59,862 Your grandmother approves? 480 00:26:00,689 --> 00:26:01,516 More or less. 481 00:26:05,433 --> 00:26:08,784 I always believed if I didn't want my family to disown me, 482 00:26:08,828 --> 00:26:12,658 I would have to spend my life playing a part. 483 00:26:14,442 --> 00:26:16,792 That's what that whole thing with Archie was. A... 484 00:26:18,054 --> 00:26:20,709 -A role. -And now? 485 00:26:23,843 --> 00:26:24,931 Now... 486 00:26:26,846 --> 00:26:30,719 I am ready for something else. 487 00:26:30,763 --> 00:26:31,764 I can dig that. 488 00:26:36,116 --> 00:26:37,639 ♪ Hey, speed queen ♪ 489 00:26:37,683 --> 00:26:39,206 ♪ Looking real fine now ♪ 490 00:26:39,249 --> 00:26:40,903 ♪ Hey, speed queen ♪ 491 00:26:40,947 --> 00:26:42,078 -[car honks] -♪ Puncher on the line now ♪ 492 00:26:42,122 --> 00:26:43,950 ♪ Hey, speed queen ♪ 493 00:26:43,993 --> 00:26:48,215 Archie Andrews. Riverdale's resident grease monkey. 494 00:26:49,782 --> 00:26:51,174 You need a fill-up, Julian? 495 00:26:51,218 --> 00:26:52,262 [Julian] Sure do. 496 00:26:52,306 --> 00:26:53,960 And some air in the tires. 497 00:26:59,618 --> 00:27:03,839 [Willie] So, Betty, is it true your parents run the television station? 498 00:27:03,883 --> 00:27:06,059 Yeah, they do. RIVW. 499 00:27:06,102 --> 00:27:09,062 How come you're not on their dance show, Riverdale Grandstand? 500 00:27:09,105 --> 00:27:10,977 Oh, I don't know, uh... 501 00:27:11,020 --> 00:27:12,674 It's a pretty big time commitment. 502 00:27:12,718 --> 00:27:15,721 Three hours every day after school. 503 00:27:15,764 --> 00:27:18,462 Gee, don't you like to dance? 504 00:27:20,116 --> 00:27:22,249 Of course she does. 505 00:27:22,292 --> 00:27:25,078 Anyway. What do you two cool cats like to do 506 00:27:25,121 --> 00:27:28,516 when you're not out on the town with Riverdale High's ginchiest gals? 507 00:27:28,559 --> 00:27:31,650 [Willie] We're on the debate team and the basketball team. 508 00:27:31,693 --> 00:27:33,216 And the Honor Society. 509 00:27:33,260 --> 00:27:34,914 And... [voice fades out] 510 00:27:34,957 --> 00:27:36,567 [melancholy music playing] 511 00:27:43,183 --> 00:27:45,141 [Pop] Hey there, Archie. 512 00:27:45,185 --> 00:27:47,622 Thought my newest gas attendant might need a little pick me up? 513 00:27:47,666 --> 00:27:50,886 [laughs] Yeah, you don't know the half of it, Pop. 514 00:27:50,930 --> 00:27:54,760 Heard they're getting the basketball team going again, now that the war is over. 515 00:27:54,803 --> 00:27:57,458 Yeah. Yeah, my uncle's the coach. 516 00:27:57,501 --> 00:28:01,810 You know, I used to watch your dad play when he was in school. 517 00:28:01,854 --> 00:28:05,292 Best rebounder Riverdale High had ever seen. 518 00:28:05,335 --> 00:28:08,643 Well, he and I, we used to play a lot, growing up. Right up until... 519 00:28:12,038 --> 00:28:14,040 he went off to the war. 520 00:28:14,083 --> 00:28:16,869 Proud of him for serving our country the way he did. 521 00:28:18,218 --> 00:28:20,002 He was a true hero. 522 00:28:21,134 --> 00:28:22,222 Yeah, he was, Pop. 523 00:28:23,353 --> 00:28:24,485 He honest-to-gosh was. 524 00:28:29,664 --> 00:28:31,840 [Jughead] I read until the sun came up. 525 00:28:31,884 --> 00:28:33,624 Mr. Rayberry's novel, 526 00:28:33,668 --> 00:28:35,801 TheJupiter Journals was likeFlash Gordon, 527 00:28:35,844 --> 00:28:38,151 as if Fitzgerald had written it. 528 00:28:38,194 --> 00:28:40,544 And I couldn't believe that Mr. Rayberry was just letting it sit, 529 00:28:40,588 --> 00:28:42,677 unpublished in a cardboard box. 530 00:28:43,591 --> 00:28:45,245 [Veronica] So, Betty, 531 00:28:45,288 --> 00:28:47,464 what happened when Willie walked you home last night? 532 00:28:47,508 --> 00:28:49,379 Nothing. No butterflies. 533 00:28:50,554 --> 00:28:52,556 Oh, dear. 534 00:28:52,600 --> 00:28:54,428 Is it that your heart's still set on Archie, do you think? 535 00:28:54,471 --> 00:28:56,517 Yes, which means I'm doomed. 536 00:28:56,560 --> 00:28:59,999 Betty, we talked about this. 537 00:29:00,042 --> 00:29:03,219 Romeo and Juliet had logistical problems, but they figured it out. 538 00:29:03,263 --> 00:29:04,481 Veronica, they both died. 539 00:29:05,395 --> 00:29:07,006 Not until act five. 540 00:29:07,049 --> 00:29:08,877 -[sighs] -And only after they lost 541 00:29:08,921 --> 00:29:10,226 their cherries, I might add. 542 00:29:12,402 --> 00:29:13,839 Anyways, I have an idea. 543 00:29:15,710 --> 00:29:17,843 One way to get close to someone 544 00:29:17,886 --> 00:29:20,759 is by having long, meaningful 545 00:29:20,802 --> 00:29:22,543 late night conversations with them. 546 00:29:22,586 --> 00:29:27,722 So, why don't you and Archie wait for your respective 547 00:29:27,766 --> 00:29:30,072 gatekeeping adults to go to sleep? 548 00:29:30,116 --> 00:29:33,684 Then, call each other up on the telephone. 549 00:29:33,728 --> 00:29:35,382 Start having intimate heart to hearts 550 00:29:35,425 --> 00:29:37,384 and get to know each other that way. 551 00:29:37,427 --> 00:29:39,821 Well, I wish, but Archie doesn't have a telephone in his bedroom. 552 00:29:39,865 --> 00:29:40,691 Shoot. 553 00:29:41,605 --> 00:29:43,085 Are you sure? 554 00:29:43,129 --> 00:29:44,565 I am. I can look into Archie's room from mine. 555 00:29:45,609 --> 00:29:47,307 Sorry. 556 00:29:47,350 --> 00:29:50,223 You can look into Archie's bedroom window from yours? 557 00:29:56,577 --> 00:29:57,665 Does this mean you've glimpsed him-- 558 00:29:57,708 --> 00:30:00,581 Yes, many, many times. 559 00:30:02,713 --> 00:30:07,327 Betty, I think I have to see this floor show for myself. 560 00:30:07,370 --> 00:30:09,242 What time does the curtain usually go up? 561 00:30:13,594 --> 00:30:15,639 [Julian] Hey, grease monkey. 562 00:30:15,683 --> 00:30:19,382 When I got home last night, I noticed a smudge on my windshield. 563 00:30:19,426 --> 00:30:20,601 Why don't you bring it back to the station? 564 00:30:20,644 --> 00:30:21,994 I'll take another crack at it. 565 00:30:22,037 --> 00:30:24,083 I'll do that. 566 00:30:24,126 --> 00:30:26,041 In the meantime, how about you get me a soda from the cafeteria... 567 00:30:27,216 --> 00:30:28,478 water-boy? 568 00:30:28,522 --> 00:30:29,523 [all laugh] 569 00:30:31,133 --> 00:30:32,526 Why don't you get it yourself, Julian? 570 00:30:32,569 --> 00:30:34,702 I would, but I'm saving my energy, 571 00:30:34,745 --> 00:30:36,660 so I can obliterate your dad's record 572 00:30:36,704 --> 00:30:38,749 against Centerville this weekend. 573 00:30:38,793 --> 00:30:41,404 I mean, somebody's got to do it. 574 00:30:42,579 --> 00:30:43,885 And it's clearly not going to be-- 575 00:30:45,626 --> 00:30:47,280 [intense music playing] 576 00:30:50,979 --> 00:30:52,024 [student] Hey, whoa. 577 00:30:56,332 --> 00:30:59,205 [Frank] Mary, I just got here and I heard what happened. 578 00:30:59,248 --> 00:31:01,729 I'll talk to Featherhead and we'll straighten out this mess. 579 00:31:01,772 --> 00:31:03,035 Back off, Frank. 580 00:31:03,078 --> 00:31:04,427 I'm his mother. 581 00:31:04,471 --> 00:31:05,341 I'll take this round. 582 00:31:08,997 --> 00:31:11,173 [whistle blows] 583 00:31:11,217 --> 00:31:12,740 Gather up, girls. 584 00:31:12,783 --> 00:31:15,003 I've decided on assignments for the season. 585 00:31:15,047 --> 00:31:17,484 For starters, Toni Topaz will perch 586 00:31:17,527 --> 00:31:19,138 at the top of our Vixens pyramid. 587 00:31:20,487 --> 00:31:21,836 But I'm always the flyer. 588 00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:23,490 -Not this year. -This is outrageous. 589 00:31:23,533 --> 00:31:27,015 No, this is cheerleading. 590 00:31:27,059 --> 00:31:29,496 Of course, if you're feeling frosted 591 00:31:29,539 --> 00:31:34,283 by my leadership choices, you're welcome to quit, Evelyn. Immediately. 592 00:31:42,770 --> 00:31:44,250 -I'll stay. -Sorry. What was that? 593 00:31:44,293 --> 00:31:46,034 -I'll stay. -Ah, fab. 594 00:31:47,122 --> 00:31:48,950 Now, on to other business. 595 00:31:51,474 --> 00:31:54,129 [Mary] Archie, tell me what's going on. 596 00:31:54,173 --> 00:31:58,307 I saw you and your father play basketball practically every day. 597 00:31:58,351 --> 00:32:00,048 You love it. 598 00:32:00,092 --> 00:32:01,571 So why don't you want to play on the team? 599 00:32:03,051 --> 00:32:04,618 Is it because of Uncle Frank? 600 00:32:04,661 --> 00:32:05,575 No. 601 00:32:06,620 --> 00:32:07,621 No, it's not, Frank. 602 00:32:09,318 --> 00:32:12,017 It's... Well, you said it, Mom. 603 00:32:14,062 --> 00:32:17,326 Basketball was something Dad and I did together. 604 00:32:17,370 --> 00:32:19,981 Whenever I walk into a gym or pick up a ball... 605 00:32:22,201 --> 00:32:23,898 I think about Dad. 606 00:32:23,942 --> 00:32:25,987 And suddenly it's like there's an anvil on my heart. 607 00:32:27,946 --> 00:32:30,296 And if I played, I just know 608 00:32:30,339 --> 00:32:33,647 all I'd be thinking is "I wish Dad were here watching me from the stands." 609 00:32:33,690 --> 00:32:34,604 I understand. 610 00:32:36,737 --> 00:32:37,651 I wish that too. 611 00:32:40,915 --> 00:32:41,960 And then there's the other thing. 612 00:32:44,266 --> 00:32:45,398 If I played... 613 00:32:47,574 --> 00:32:48,618 What if I wasn't good enough? 614 00:32:50,577 --> 00:32:52,274 What if I tarnished Dad's memory? 615 00:32:52,318 --> 00:32:54,494 Oh, Archie. 616 00:32:54,537 --> 00:32:56,322 I know Frank suggested that your father 617 00:32:56,365 --> 00:33:00,108 wouldn't be proud of you, but that is simply not true. 618 00:33:00,152 --> 00:33:02,981 Your father would be so proud. 619 00:33:03,024 --> 00:33:06,375 Listen, you don't have to play basketball if you don't want to. 620 00:33:06,419 --> 00:33:09,596 But nothing would make your father happier than to see you play on his team. 621 00:33:11,163 --> 00:33:12,468 Maybe even wearing his number. 622 00:33:13,992 --> 00:33:15,515 Nothing would make me happier, too. 623 00:33:17,560 --> 00:33:19,301 And one way or the other, 624 00:33:19,345 --> 00:33:20,911 I'm going to ask Frank to ease up on you. 625 00:33:20,955 --> 00:33:22,565 [chuckles softly] 626 00:33:24,132 --> 00:33:25,655 [door closes] 627 00:33:25,699 --> 00:33:27,614 Mr. Rayberry, I... 628 00:33:27,657 --> 00:33:31,966 really hope you don't get upset, but I read your novel. 629 00:33:33,141 --> 00:33:34,360 [chuckles] 630 00:33:34,403 --> 00:33:37,189 Golly, I... I loved it. 631 00:33:37,232 --> 00:33:40,757 -You have got to get this published. -Eh. 632 00:33:40,801 --> 00:33:45,458 Just a minute. You... You stole my manuscript? 633 00:33:45,501 --> 00:33:47,155 Only for a night. 634 00:33:47,199 --> 00:33:50,158 You are as much of a thief as Fieldstone. 635 00:33:51,377 --> 00:33:52,813 Oh, Mr. Rayberry, please, I-- 636 00:33:52,856 --> 00:33:55,250 No, get out of here. 637 00:33:55,294 --> 00:33:56,643 Give me my manuscript. 638 00:33:56,686 --> 00:33:58,993 Yeah, no, I'll go. 639 00:33:59,037 --> 00:34:00,560 But you have got to get this published. 640 00:34:00,603 --> 00:34:02,823 -I can help you-- -Get out of my house. 641 00:34:12,485 --> 00:34:16,358 Pretty swinging how you gave that Evernever chick what for. 642 00:34:16,402 --> 00:34:18,795 I always strive for the best cheer team possible. 643 00:34:18,839 --> 00:34:20,275 Well... 644 00:34:20,319 --> 00:34:22,625 I'd like to show you my appreciation. 645 00:34:23,496 --> 00:34:24,366 Would that be okay? 646 00:34:25,933 --> 00:34:27,065 Mo... More than okay. 647 00:34:29,850 --> 00:34:33,810 ♪ Lord, show me ♪ 648 00:34:33,853 --> 00:34:37,945 ♪ If he really loves me ♪ 649 00:34:37,987 --> 00:34:41,775 ♪ Tell me, does he ♪ 650 00:34:41,818 --> 00:34:46,040 ♪ Truly care ♪ 651 00:34:46,083 --> 00:34:49,217 ♪ Give the love... ♪ 652 00:34:49,261 --> 00:34:54,135 [sighs] This isn't exactly what I imagined our stakeout would be like. 653 00:34:54,179 --> 00:34:56,703 What exactly did you imagine? 654 00:34:56,746 --> 00:34:59,967 Truthfully? Jimmy Stewart and Grace Kelly in Rear Window. 655 00:35:01,011 --> 00:35:01,838 [Betty] Hmm. 656 00:35:03,797 --> 00:35:05,799 [Veronica] Hello. 657 00:35:05,842 --> 00:35:08,584 We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming 658 00:35:08,628 --> 00:35:10,630 with an emergency flutter bum alert. 659 00:35:11,718 --> 00:35:13,328 God bless America. 660 00:35:13,372 --> 00:35:15,678 [chuckles] 661 00:35:15,722 --> 00:35:19,682 Stand back, Ringling Brothers, because this is the greatest show on Earth. 662 00:35:19,726 --> 00:35:21,293 Ooh, do you have binoculars? 663 00:35:23,251 --> 00:35:25,427 Never mind. 664 00:35:25,471 --> 00:35:29,127 We don't even need them with the size of Archie's bulging... muscles. 665 00:35:30,519 --> 00:35:32,434 -[gasps] -Mayday. Duck and cover. 666 00:35:32,478 --> 00:35:35,307 Oh, my God, I should have known. 667 00:35:35,350 --> 00:35:38,179 The same thing happened to Jimmy Stewart. 668 00:35:38,223 --> 00:35:40,442 Yeah, but at least he was trying to catch a murderer. 669 00:35:40,486 --> 00:35:42,749 We're just peeping Patties. 670 00:35:42,792 --> 00:35:43,619 Ugh! 671 00:35:45,447 --> 00:35:47,275 [chuckles] 672 00:35:50,148 --> 00:35:51,975 [students chattering indistinctly] 673 00:35:52,019 --> 00:35:53,238 [Veronica] Did you get any sleep? 674 00:35:53,281 --> 00:35:56,893 -[sighs] Not a wink. You? -The same. 675 00:35:56,937 --> 00:35:59,940 But it gave me time to think. And if he did see us, 676 00:35:59,983 --> 00:36:03,248 then he's probably just as embarrassed as we are, and won't say a word about it. 677 00:36:04,684 --> 00:36:06,773 I mean, it's positively shameless. 678 00:36:06,816 --> 00:36:09,819 The way he struts around like a... like a peacock, 679 00:36:09,863 --> 00:36:12,257 flashing those absurd abdominal muscles over there-- 680 00:36:12,300 --> 00:36:13,127 [Archie clears throat] 681 00:36:15,521 --> 00:36:16,435 Howdy, ladies. 682 00:36:17,436 --> 00:36:18,828 How's it going? 683 00:36:18,872 --> 00:36:21,570 Archie, good morning. 684 00:36:21,614 --> 00:36:23,746 Veronica, would you mind giving Betty and I a minute? 685 00:36:24,573 --> 00:36:25,922 In... In private? 686 00:36:29,578 --> 00:36:33,060 -Of course. Betty, we'll catch up anon. -Mmm. 687 00:36:33,103 --> 00:36:37,195 Archie... keep up the good work. 688 00:36:45,507 --> 00:36:46,856 So, I... 689 00:36:48,423 --> 00:36:51,339 saw you and Veronica last night. 690 00:36:52,949 --> 00:36:53,776 Looking at me. 691 00:36:55,996 --> 00:36:58,825 Oh, sorry, I don't know what you're talking about. 692 00:36:58,868 --> 00:37:00,261 Betty, it's okay. 693 00:37:02,263 --> 00:37:04,178 I liked it. 694 00:37:04,222 --> 00:37:08,138 You know, my uncle's got me real busy during the day, but... 695 00:37:08,182 --> 00:37:10,532 every night I end up in my room. 696 00:37:14,101 --> 00:37:19,541 Every night I end up in my bedroom, too. 697 00:37:19,585 --> 00:37:21,326 What if we ended up in our bedrooms, 698 00:37:22,501 --> 00:37:23,893 you know, at the same time? 699 00:37:24,807 --> 00:37:25,634 And... 700 00:37:26,896 --> 00:37:27,723 looked at each other? 701 00:37:30,378 --> 00:37:32,946 How about tonight? Say midnight? 702 00:37:35,340 --> 00:37:37,167 Yeah, I'll be there. 703 00:37:37,211 --> 00:37:39,561 Same. 704 00:37:39,605 --> 00:37:43,304 And I'll be wearing something special. 705 00:37:46,481 --> 00:37:48,875 Okay. 706 00:37:48,918 --> 00:37:50,877 All right. Well, I gotta... I gotta run to the gym, Betty, 707 00:37:50,920 --> 00:37:54,228 but, yeah, I sure am excited. 708 00:37:55,708 --> 00:37:57,231 Betty, I'm really excited. 709 00:37:57,275 --> 00:37:59,364 [chuckles] Me too. I'm like, beyond excited. 710 00:38:10,897 --> 00:38:12,855 Hey, water-boy, stay on the sidelines. 711 00:38:12,899 --> 00:38:13,813 Court's for players only. 712 00:38:14,640 --> 00:38:16,032 Good. 713 00:38:16,076 --> 00:38:17,077 'Cause I'm here to play. 714 00:38:19,079 --> 00:38:20,123 You can't just let him on the team, Coach. 715 00:38:21,951 --> 00:38:23,344 How do we even know if he's any good? 716 00:38:23,388 --> 00:38:24,214 [scoffs] 717 00:38:31,787 --> 00:38:32,875 Any other questions? 718 00:38:34,486 --> 00:38:36,792 All right then, let's keep warming up. 719 00:38:41,536 --> 00:38:43,059 I'm not doing this for you, Uncle Frank. 720 00:38:43,103 --> 00:38:45,105 I'm doing this for myself. 721 00:38:45,148 --> 00:38:47,934 And for my mom, and my dad. 722 00:38:49,631 --> 00:38:50,763 I respect that, Archie. 723 00:38:54,070 --> 00:38:55,594 [Thornton] Dr. Werthers, 724 00:38:55,637 --> 00:38:58,423 I confiscated this from Dilton Doiley today. 725 00:39:00,338 --> 00:39:03,297 It is like fighting a hydra, Mrs. Thornton. 726 00:39:03,341 --> 00:39:06,909 Cut off one head, another grows in its place. 727 00:39:06,953 --> 00:39:11,740 Yes, except this particular head was written by one of our students, 728 00:39:11,784 --> 00:39:13,220 Jughead Jones. 729 00:39:13,263 --> 00:39:18,268 ♪ Tell me where do they go ♪ 730 00:39:18,312 --> 00:39:23,796 ♪ The smoke rings I blow each night ♪ 731 00:39:29,192 --> 00:39:30,759 ♪ What do they do ♪ 732 00:39:32,457 --> 00:39:37,244 ♪ Those circles Of blue and white ♪ 733 00:39:42,989 --> 00:39:46,209 ♪ Why do they seem ♪ 734 00:39:46,253 --> 00:39:51,214 ♪ To picture a dream of love ♪ 735 00:39:56,742 --> 00:39:59,832 ♪ Why do they fade ♪ 736 00:39:59,875 --> 00:40:04,663 ♪ My phantom parade of love ♪ 737 00:40:10,233 --> 00:40:13,846 ♪ Puff puff puff ♪ 738 00:40:15,456 --> 00:40:17,980 ♪ Puff your cares away ♪ 739 00:40:23,769 --> 00:40:27,555 ♪ Puff puff puff ♪ 740 00:40:28,730 --> 00:40:31,516 ♪ Night and day ♪ 741 00:40:37,304 --> 00:40:42,352 ♪ Blow blow them Through the air ♪ 742 00:40:42,396 --> 00:40:45,878 ♪ Silky little rings ♪ 743 00:40:49,447 --> 00:40:54,626 ♪ Those little Smoke rings I love ♪ 744 00:40:54,669 --> 00:40:59,021 ♪ Please take me Above with you ♪ 745 00:41:30,705 --> 00:41:35,797 ♪ Blow blow them Through the air ♪ 746 00:41:35,841 --> 00:41:39,322 ♪ Silky little rings ♪ 747 00:41:39,366 --> 00:41:40,454 [door opens] 748 00:41:40,498 --> 00:41:41,890 -Betty. -[door opens] 749 00:41:41,934 --> 00:41:44,719 What in the actual hell is going on here? 750 00:41:44,763 --> 00:41:47,069 What in God's name are you doing? 751 00:41:47,113 --> 00:41:47,940 [breathing heavily] 752 00:41:49,898 --> 00:41:50,682 [bell dinging]