[telephone ringing]
I'll get it.
Hello?
This is she.
I understand.
Thank you.
[Alice] Honey, what's wrong?
What was that call about?
It was...
That was Yale. The admissions office.
And what did they say?
They were telling me about...
a spot that recently opened in their class of 2024.
And after a second review of my application, they wanted me to fill it.
The implication being...
that was Jughead's spot.
Yeah. They didn't say that, but...
And how did that make you feel?
Mom, do we...
It was a night like any other
when Forsythe Pendleton Jones III, or "Jughead," affectionately,
went to a school party in the woods.
But unlike his peers, Jughead never came home.
A few days later, his body was discovered at the bottom of a ravine.
The mysterious circumstances around his death
are the subject of this documentary.
I'm Alice Smith,
and this is Murder in a Small Town.
As the oldest resident of our town, tell us, Nana Rose,
when did the darkness begin to take hold of Riverdale?
Riverdale was a town born in blood...
and it has bathed in it ever since.
Thank you.
[Cheryl sighs]
Sweet cousin, I am so, so sorry.
It looks like the Blossom family curse has finally caught up to you.
And that I now have a rival as teen queen of tragedy.
Lucky me.
Promise me you won't do it.
Do what?
Take your own life.
We all know you and Jughead were Riverdale High's Hamlet and Ophelia.
And I personally know what it's like to lose your other half.
The despairing thoughts can flood without warning.
Don't let them drown you.
I promise I won't.
Nevertheless...
from now on, Betty Cooper, you're under suicide watch.
Consider me your constant shadow.
No.
Please, no.
Uh, no. My mom is already being clingy enough with her documentary.
I really...
I just can't have anyone else invading my personal space right now.
What's first on today's agenda?
Iwill be going to Stonewall Prep
to gather the rest of Jughead's belongings.
My convertible is right out front.
I'll drive you.
[Betty sighs]
Fine, just... You're staying in the car.
[sighs]
Save your tears.
No one's watching.
Bret.
You got your wish, Ponytail.
Forsythe isn't going to Yale.
So I guess it'll just be you and me in New Haven.
[exhales]
Ow, ow! Wait, Archie. You're on my hair.
-You're on my hair. -I'm sorry.
That's okay.
[exhales]
-I'm fine. -[exhales]
Not trying to overanalyze this...
rendezvous interruptus, but...
Are you thinking about what I'm thinking about?
You mean, Betty's whole kick-the-hornet's-nest plan against the Stonies?
Yeah.
Hermosa. Ever heard of knocking?
You're gonna be late for school.
Though I do understand how you can get lost in those abs.
I don't think we've met.
That's quite intentional.
Hermosa, kindly tell me what you really want, or get out of my room.
After you announced you were possibly deferring Barnard,
I called them.
Well, Hermione Lodge called them.
You're under investigation.
Hmm. God, I wonder what that's about.
Oh, I cannot wait to find out and tell Papiall about it.
Now, rise and shine.
The espresso's getting cold.
[Alice] Sheriff Jones,
can you tell us where you are in the investigation?
Uh, yeah. [clears throat]
Uh...
A couple of nights ago, a body was found in the woods in a ravine.
It was positively ID'd as my son.
Dr. Curdle Jr. completed his autopsy and declared the...
The cause of death, as blunt force trauma to the head.
We also got a call a couple of days ago
from a hiker who found a bloody rock in the woods,
near where Jughead was discovered.
It was bagged for evidence,
and sent to a lab for testing, so we'll know more soon.
So, you suspect foul play?
Nothing's off the table.
And earlier, did I hear that you have a new lead?
Yeah, just waiting on a warrant so I can act on it.
Bret, what the hell?
His dad is in your room.
You can't be in here.
Your headmaster and this warrant say otherwise.
My office got an anonymous tip
that you have something personal that belonged to my son.
Look, I assure you I have nothing that belonged to Jughead.
What about this tie pin?
It's his.
Isn't it?
When Forsythe was expelled, he threw his tie pin in our faces.
-I guess I forgot I had it. -You guess?
That's weak sauce, kid.
-Look, I'm sorry. -Sorry?
About what?
Sorry we didn't come forward, but we... We were afraid.
You're gonna have to be a lot more specific than that.
We were afraid of her.
We were afraid she'd do to us what she did to Forsythe.
-Who? -Betty, of course.
[breath trembling]
[sniffles]
The night of the party,
Bret and I decided to sneak into the woods to do what teenagers do.
Until we saw Betty...
holding a rock, standing over Jughead.
And then we saw that she wasn't alone.
She was with those friends of hers.
Veronica and...
Archie, I think?
Is there anyone who can back up this story?
Bret can.
He was with me.
He was with me the whole time.
Archie Andrews, Betty Cooper, and Veronica Lodge,
you're under arrest for the cold-blooded murder of my son, Jughead Jones.
This was their move, the Stonies.
We knew that they would do this.
I hope you're right, Betty.
Everything's fine, okay? This is good. This is where they start tripping up, okay?
This will work. It has to.
Oh, my family's been serving up milkshakes
to the residents of Riverdale for generations now.
It's in my blood. I love this town.
[Alice] Which must make it particularly hard when terrible things happen here,
year after year.
I'm not gonna lie. It's painful...
to see this vibrant place, my home,
suffer so much bloodshed and violence.
[door buzzes, locks]
[clangs]
[FP] You three sit tight.
I'll be bringing you in for questioning one at a time,
and then we're finally gonna get to the bottom of what happened that night.
You understand me?
The interrogations came next.
And although I wasn't allowed inside the room with the suspects,
a source in the Sheriff's office
promised me exclusive access.
[FP] When was the last time you saw him?
I don't remember exactly.
Stonewall students say you saw him laying on the ground,
bleeding from the head. Does that jog your memory?
That's enough, FP.
My daughter had and has nothing to do with this mess.
Did you speak to Jughead at all the night of the party?
You don't have to answer that, Archie.
[slams table] You've said the same thing
to the last 20 questions I've asked, Mary.
Now, I appreciate your need to protect your boy, but I need answers.
He's gotta give me something.
Legally, he does not.
And as his lawyer, I am required to make sure
that my client is aware of his rights.
We don't have long.
FP said he could only give me a few moments with you alone
with the security cameras off.
Betty, honey, I know you did it.
What-- Mom, seriously?
Well, not on purpose. Not premeditated.
But...
[sighs]
I know what it's like to be driven by rage and desire,
and sometimes things can just get out of hand.
I told you, I didn't do it. It was the Stonies.
Betty, FP has the proof.
And...
To be honest, I was expecting something like this.
But I can't help you unless you tell me the truth.
-[door opens] -[Betty] Mom...
[Alice clears throat]
Forensics on the rock came back.
Oh, no.
And?
Turns out it wasn't blood.
It's run-of-the-mill corn syrup.
Theatrical stuff they use to make fake blood.
Okay. So what does that mean?
Betty,
you and your friends are free to go.
-Put down the controller. -[TV turns off]
Hey!
Bret, we've got a problem.
Betty and her friends were released from jail,
and the rock tested negative for blood.
That's, um...
That's unexpected.
Considering we watched Jonathan smear Jughead's blood on said rock,
I'd say it's impossible.
Which means, either Betty somehow interfered
and switched out the bloody rock with a fake one,
or Jughead's Sheriff daddy is lying.
-What's your instinct? -I don't know. I have to think.
Something about all this...
[cell phone ringing]
Hello?
[Donna] I figured it out, Betty.
It's 3:00 a.m., Donna.
What the hell do you want?
You got too confident.
Overplayed your hand.
That rock found by that hiker wasn't smeared with synthetic blood.
It was real.
Which must mean you're working with Jughead's dad,
which made me wonder...
why would a sheriff,
a father,
help the girl who killed his son?
He wouldn't.
Unless, of course, Jughead isn't dead at all.
You saw his body, Donna.
You and Bret burst into the morgue.
I saw a body.
I never looked into Forsythe's cold, dead eyes.
I didn't even see his face.
Are you seriously suggesting that I made Jughead pretend to be dead?
It's what I would've done.
In fact, I would've done everything to make the lie seem real,
to buy myself more time, to outwit my enemies.
So now you're keeping Jughead tucked away
while you desperately search for proof
that would tie us to attempted murder. You're vamping.
You won't beat us, Betty.
I'm going to implode your little scheme
and lead this investigation right to your doorstep.
There's no way out of this for you.
-Morning, sweetheart. -Morning.
-[sighs] -Mr. Jones,
I know it might be weird, but I think the time is right to host a funeral.
We could have a public wake.
Here, in Jughead's home.
It might help everyone who knew him,
just to bring some semblance of closure.
If you wanna organize something, Betty,
that'd be all right with me.
[Hermosa] Well, well, if it isn't the jailbird.
I'm innocent of all charges, and was released within hours.
I've never killed anyone, Hermosa.
Maybe not.
But sometimes it's better to be safe than sorry.
Isn't that your alias?
[scoffs]
Oh, I bet you would love to run me out of town,
get me out of the way so you can finally swoop in
and take control of the family business.
Well, tough...
luck.
Hey, guys, it's time for group training. Where is everyone?
They're, um, not coming.
Why? What's going on?
Everyone's saying that you're a murderer.
That you killed that Jones guy.
Toby, I swear to you, I would never hurt my best friend.
I did not kill Jughead. I didn't kill anyone, okay?
I'm one of the good guys.
If you say so.
We'll see you later, Archie.
[Alice] So, tell me about your friend, the late Jughead Jones.
[chuckles] We were really similar in a lot of ways.
We actually spent one night together.
And, um...
it was a moment that cemented our friendship.
What?
I'm not threatened by what was surely one loveless tryst.
[Alice] And, Cheryl, what are your feelings on the subject?
I'm sorry I called Jughead a hobo that one time.
[Alice] Is... Is that it?
[Cheryl exhales]
I'm really sorry I called Jughead a hobo that one time.
[people speaking indistinctly]
[door opens]
You got a lot of nerve coming here.
Sweet Pea, it's okay.
Mr. Jones said that they could come in.
[Donna] Closed casket.
Call me a doubting Thomas,
but that seems like a suspect choice with such a handsome cadaver.
Classy as ever, Donna.
The funeral home didn't even want us to have the casket here,
but it's Serpent tradition.
And if you make a scene, I will throw your ass out.
I want to thank you for coming today.
I know you all...
loved my son.
Things weren't always easy for us.
But my boy was...
always resilient...
and loyal...
and loving.
And, uh... [breath trembles]
[Betty exhales heavily]
I'll go.
[exhales]
As many of you know,
Jughead was a fan of crime fiction.
Detective stories.
So, to honor him, I'd like to read a passage
from one of his favorite Sherlock Holmes short stories.
The Final Problem.
"An examination by experts leaves little doubt
that a personal contest between Holmes and Moriarty
ended in their reeling over,
locked in each other's arms.
Any attempt at recovering the bodies was absolutely hopeless.
And there, deep down in that dreadful cauldron of swirling water
and seething foam,
will lie...
Will lie, for all time, the most dangerous criminal
and the foremost champion
of the law of their generation."
[clears throat] Mr. Mayor.
FP.
Look...
this is a difficult time.
And this case, it's just, uh...
It's too personal for you.
It's too painful.
So why don't you take a leave of absence from being sheriff?
[scoffs]
You came to my son's funeral to fire me?
Of course not.
Go to hell, Hiram.
I quit.
You must really miss your brother.
When was the last time you saw him?
He isn't really dead, is he?
Donna, are you serious?
This is Jughead's little sister and you're accosting her?
Oh, come on, Betty. You and I both know that this is all an act.
Bitch, I'm done with you. Let's go.
Do it. Bret, do it!
What the hell do you think you're doing?
She told me to. You heard her.
You preppies don't know when to quit.
Okay, calm down, guys. He's not worth it.
He was leaving, anyways.
Donna, control your little pet, okay?
He seems to have lost his cool.
I don't know what kind of second-rate detective this former Sheriff Jones is,
but I took it upon myself to do a little investigating,
and guess what I discovered.
Please.
Enlighten me.
You, Betty, and Archie all told your parents
drastically different versions of what happened the night of Jughead's death.
How did you find out about that?
I simply ingratiated myself to the right people, of course.
Mrs. Andrews, I'm Veronica's sister, Hermosa.
What can I do for you?
I was hoping I could ask your legal help
in drawing up some contracts for one of my clubs down in Miami.
I could pay up front.
Come on in.
[Hermosa] Ms. Smith.
I wanted to offer you and Mr. Jones my deepest condolences.
Thank you.
-Uh, may I come in? -Of course.
I knew I was on to something.
Now, I want the truth.
Or what, my dear sister?
Or I sit Papi, Mrs. Andrews, and Alice Smith
down at the same table so they can compare notes.
[knock at door]
Hey.
So, is it true?
Is what true?
That Jughead, you know, is alive.
What?
Kevin, that's insane, not to mention cruel.
I'm sorry, it's just...
It's what people are saying.
Who? What people?
Seriously, tell me, who is saying that Jughead is alive?
Everyone.
But I first heard it from that Stonewall Prep girl at the funeral.
[sighs] Do you mean Donna Sweett?
Yes, that was her name.
She was talking about how it was all some elaborate ruse.
[Alice] Why do you think these stories about Jughead faking his death
are gaining so much traction?
I think because we just wanna believe that it's true.
You know, now that I think of it, I remember freshman year,
we were assigned The Adventures of Tom Sawyer to read.
I barely knew Jughead at the time, but he was obsessed with that book.
Specifically, the chapter in which Tom fakes his own death
to see how the people of his hometown would react to his passing.
[inhales deeply]
I remember him in class saying, "Imagine that.
Imagine being able to attend your own funeral."
[Alice] Reggie, what do you make of the rumors
that Jughead Jones is somehow alive?
I'm angered by them, Mrs. S.
It pisses me off.
Yeah, of course.
Because you deeply miss your friend.
What?
No.
I'm mad because that weirdo beat me
by pulling off the most epic senior prank of all time.
Faking your own death?
That's legendary.
It'll never be forgotten.
[footsteps approaching]
-Hey. -[Betty] Hi.
I got here as soon as I could. What's going on?
[sniffles] I just don't think I can do this anymore, Arch.
I keep waiting for Jug to come back,
but he doesn't, and he won't.
He won't ever come back.
And I don't know how I'm supposed to keep going.
Day by day, Betty.
We'll get through this, together.
God, I just don't know why everyone at school is saying that he's still alive.
He isn't.
These crazy rumors are just making it so much more painful.
-[sighs] -[Archie] Betty, you okay?
You wanna talk about it?
I can't do this, Arch.
I feel so alone.
You're not.
Betty, I promise I know how hard this is.
I just wanna feel...
good, even for just a few moments.
I'm here for you, Betty.
I always have been.
Yeah, you have, haven't you?
Oh, grief, you wicked, heartless aphrodisiac.
Destroyer of endgames and worlds.
[exhales] Why, oh, why am I always the one to catch these two kissing cads?
[multiple phones chiming]
Andrews and Cooper.
What?
Cheryl.
Is everything okay? Did something happen with Toni?
Veronica,
I had a text drafted and ready to send to you,
but I couldn't bring myself to do it.
You deserve to be told in person.
What are you talking about?
Take a moment.
Prepare yourself for devastation.
Cheryl, come on, we're Maple partners.
Just please tell me what's going on.
Son of a bi--
Betty? Really, Archie? Of all people, Betty?
How could you do this to me?
Ronnie, what? I don't--
Don't play innocent with me, Archie Andrews.
Kissing my best friend in the music room,
where you and I had our fun?
Why should I be surprised? That's your special place, isn't it?
That's where you take all your women.
Me, Josie, Ms. Grundy, and now Betty.
And shame on you
for taking advantage of our friend when she is grieving...
and at her most vulnerable.
Bee, I need you to know, I do not blame you.
It's my fault. I'm the one who started it.
I kissed Archie. I'm so sorry.
"Sorry"?
You're sorry?
You scheming, two-faced bitch, Betty Cooper.
You know what? You two deserve each other.
So burn in hell, the both of you.
That's right. You tell 'em, girl.
[Alice] So why do you think people are so ready to accept the fact
that Archie and Betty are dating?
I think there were a lot of closeted Barchie stans out there
who have been waiting for this moment.
We just hope that it's true.
Sounds like you're one of these stans.
Oh, no, don't get me wrong.
I support Betty in whoever she likes.
There's a lot of people who don't think Bughead should've happened.
It was always supposed to be Betty and Archie.
It was like it was their destiny.
I see.
And what about this rumor that Jughead is still alive?
If Betty and Archie being together proves anything,
it's that Jughead is definitely dead.
I know your daughter pretty well.
Not even she's crazy enough to date Archie
if Jughead were still around.
[zipper closing]
Hi, Betty.
Here all alone?
Why?
Are you here to kill me?
Just so you know,
you may have this town, your school, and all your friends fooled, but not me.
You're either building a case against me and my classmates,
or trying to exonerate yourself.
And Jughead is alive and helping you behind the scenes.
I just don't know where you're hiding him...
yet.
Donna.
We can't keep having the same conversation over and over again, okay?
You're obsessed. Seriously, it is not healthy.
It's fine. I didn't expect you to just tell me.
But I know he's close by.
Somewhere you two can be alone.
Know how I know?
Because I saw that sex tape of yours,
and, yowza!
Based on the contents, you can't go two hours, let alone two days, without it.
You are an actual monster.
And you are a nymphomaniac who's going to trip up sooner rather than later.
And I'll be there to watch you fall.
[Alice] And that's when you believe Donna started following you?
She had fixated on me.
She was convinced that I was sneaking around.
Which was true. I...
had been visiting Dilton's bunker.
It became a nightly ritual.
First, stop at Pop's for dinner.
Then I'd head to the woods alone.
Gotcha!
[Betty] What the hell? Oh, my God.
Donna?
Get out of here, you pervert.
[Alice] And how long have you been meeting with Archie in the bunker?
It kind of just started up after...
It's nothing to be ashamed of, Elizabeth.
I promise you'll feel better once you tell the truth.
In that case...
Before you hear it from someone else, Mom,
I need to tell you something.
Off the record.
Okay, honey.
Well, as it turns out,
this is not simply a story about a murder in a small town.
No.
It's a story about friendship...
and conspiracy.
And what happens when those two things
dovetail into a highly sophisticated cover-up.
So, our little gambit worked.
Between the look I saw on Donna's face in the bunker
and your performance in the student lounge...
[chuckles] You can thank Helen Mirren's Masterclass for that.
Though, I just have to ask.
When you were pretending to be with Betty...
you didn't feel anything, did you?
Ronnie.
When will you learn?
You are,
now and forever,
the only girl for me.
[Betty] Even by our standards, this was a pretty crazy week.
Well, pretending to be dead is one thing,
but hiding under a cot in this sex bunker of death
while you make out with Archie
just to convince a bunch of evil preppies that I did die...
Yeah, definitely cracks the top ten craziest things.
But it worked.
And now Donna will start doubting herself.
This whole thing is a game of confidence,
and what happens when you don't have confidence?
Mistakes are made.
And bonus, you'll have all this uninterrupted time
to figure out how the pieces of the mystery fit together.
And an additional bonus
is that they won't come to try and finish my botched braining.
Mmm-hmm.
Well, I never thought I'd say it,
but God bless that beanie for cushioning the blow, even just a little bit.
Speaking of that...
Close your eyes and hold out your hand.
Open.
Betty, when did you have time to do this?
[chuckles] We all manage our stress in different ways.
My mom had her documentary...
I taught myself how to knit.
Are you sure telling your mom was a good idea?
Well, considering Charles, your dad, Jellybean,
Dr. Curdle Jr., and Mrs. Andrews are all in on it...
Yeah, it felt like the prudent thing to do.
Yeah, that's fair enough.
When you kissed Archie, none of those old feelings came back, did they?
Jughead.
No.
Of course not, okay? Don't be silly.
You know you're the only man for me.
And our scheming can take one night off, don't you think?
[Alice] So I understand you made quite the public spectacle
over the Archie and Betty romance.
Um, I think you mean, I gave an amazing performance.
But weren't you afraid that something might actually spark between them?
I trust Archie.
And I trust Betty.
To be honest, the thought never even crossed my mind.
[cell phone vibrating]
[phone chimes]
[Alice] The question still remains.
Why did you go to such extraordinary lengths to convince the preppies
and pretty much the whole town of Riverdale
that Jughead was dead?
Because they were trying to pin the murder on me.
And because if they knew Jughead was still alive,
they would circle the wagons and lock down tight.
And we were and still are locked in a battle of psychological warfare
with the Stonies.
The only way that we would be able to pin the attempted murder of Jughead on them...
is if we forced the Stonies to crack.
[Alice] You seem quite confident that they will.
No, I can't be certain, but...
After the last few days,
I have a feeling they'll be fracturing any minute now.
Stop what you're doing, Bret.
I have proof that Jughead's alive.
Whoa, Donna. Slow down. How can you be so sure?
I tailed Betty to an apocalyptic bunker,
where she sloppily swapped saliva with that carrot-top Neanderthal.
It was all a charade.
They had takeout from Pop's, that little diner that Jones was obsessed with.
And what, there was an extra burger?
Archie's built like a superhero.
I'm sure he could wolf half a dozen--
Forget about the burger!
There was not one, not two,
but three milkshakes in evidence.
I am certain that Jones must have heard me sneaking down the ladder
and he hid so as not to get caught.
Donna, look.
Maybe, um...
you should let sleeping dogs lie.
Take the win.
Forsythe's dead. We killed him.
Ponytail's obviously moved on.
It's time you do the same.
Don't you ever tell me what to do.
In case you've forgotten, I'm the brains of this operation.
We still have a job to finish,
and a meddling girlfriend to pin it on.
Yes, sir.
And if you ever undermine me again,
you will go the way of Jonathan, may he rest in peace.
And that's a fact.
[door opens]
[Veronica] Well, well, well.
If it isn't the girl who cried Papi.
I did a little digging like you asked me to.
And?
You are lucky I am such a good PI,
because you'll never believe what I found out.
[speaking Spanish]
[Veronica] As it turns out, my darling half-sister is actually good for something.
At my behest,
Hermosa put her private-eye skills to good use
and did some digging on those Stonewall WASPs.
And your gal pal Donna is not so sweet.
Everybody, brace yourselves,
because Donna Sweett is actually...
Oh, my God.
Of course.
If this is true, this is our smoking gun.
This is the final piece of the puzzle that we needed.
I think I know how to take down these Stonies once and for all.