A lot can happen in seven years.
But in Riverdale, the more things change...
That was... That was hot, yeah.
...the more they stay exactly the same.
Hey, I'm Rick.
-What's your name? -Come on, no names.
See ya.
Yeah.
-Hello. -Hey.
Hey, babe. How was the store?
I had to go to a couple different places, but I got regular milk,
oat milk, almond milk and two varieties of sugary cereals.
You're the best, Kev. I'm sorry about all these crazy cravings.
-It's all good. -Are you okay?
Totally.
Not nervous about the big announcement?
Not at all. Why would I be?
Okay, you ready? -I'm ready.
Wow, I was so not ready.
Now, what do you think?
I think you've come a long way from when you were eight
and said you wanted to be a firefighter.
♪ Pulling down a backstreets Deep in your head ♪
♪ Slipping through dreamland like a tourist... ♪
Thanks for coming to meet us, Dr. Whitley.
You mentioned having a specimen that needed examining.
May I see it?
Um...
it's the damnedest thing, Doc.
Someone stole it.
Uh-huh.
I was babysitting it, and then...
Suddenly, this blinding light appeared in the sky,
and the last thing I remember, I was looking up at it.
But then I lost several hours.
-Next thing I knew, the Mothmen mummy-- -The specimen?
The specimen was gone.
Hmm.
Mr. Jones,
I'm an anthropologist with an interest
in extraterrestrial phenomena, not a psychologist.
But in the majority of cases like you're describing,
when a person claims to have had a close encounter,
they are, in fact, often repressing a traumatic experience.
You said in the majority of cases. What about the other ones?
The other cases, I believe they're telling the truth.
If you'd like, I can perhaps help you determine what you're dealing with here.
Truth or repression.
There's a support group I lead--
We're so sorry for making you drive all the way from your university, Doctor.
But I don't need a support group.
If I am repressing something, I think I prefer to keep it repressed, you know?
Should you decide otherwise,
here's my card.
Just in case. You take care.
Juniper, Dagwood, this artwork is so beautiful.
Your mom's going to love this when she gets home.
Good morning, honey. -Morning, Mom.
Hey, Mr. Keller, is everything okay?
Okay, I'll be right there.
What is it?
They found another body in Swedlow Swamp.
Another one?
But is it Polly?
No, Tom says it looks like the other bodies. It's like it's been there for a while.
Okay. Call me the second you know?
-Okay. Love you. -Okay. Love you, too.
Your lats are looking huge, babe.
Oh, thanks. Trying to keep up with you.
Well...
Fangs, we should talk about stuff.
Us. Before things get crazy.
I know we've been in an open relationship and...
Remember, that was when I was on the road mostly.
Now, things are different.
I get it and I want to be monogamous too.
Also I'm seeing what we're about to do...
as a fresh start for the both of us.
Clean slate.
And I hope you do too.
Hey, Mom, it's not her.
It's not Polly.
Are you sure?
100%. Dr. Curdle says the remains are over a year old.
Oh, thank God.
This means that your sister's still out there.
It means she's still alive, don't you think, Betty?
Hopefully. I love you, Mom.
Hang in there, okay?
Ugh, not now, Chad.
Clear the deck, Smithers. We're starting a remodel of this apartment, ASAP.
Very good, Ms. Veronica.
Oh, I can assemble a list of contractors for you.
Oh, that won't be necessary.
I already hired my contractor.
So what do you want to have done to your apartment?
One word.
Demolition. I want it all torn out, down to the studs.
That's a big job, but, yeah, I think my buddy Eric would be up for helping out.
What's your timeline?
I want it done yesterday.
I need changes in my life, Archie.
Big changes.
How big are we talking about?
Hey, that's very cool.
What is this?
Like, plans for your very own Shangri-La, Veronica?
It will be the new and improved Pembrooke.
Looks swanky, V.
Hey.
-Hey. The Four Musketeers.
Pray tell, why for have we been summoned?
Hey, guys. Thanks for gathering on such short notice.
Um, Fangs and I have announcement to make.
We're engaged.
Oh, my God.
That's such good news.
But wait, there is more.
Yeah. We're having a baby.
Guys, that's great!
Wait, Archie, there's still more.
-We're having the baby. -With me.
I'm having our baby.
We're planning on raising this child together.
-Just the three of us. -Just one big, happy, nontraditional family.
What in the actual...
And they call me Cherry Bombshell.
Cheryl, good.
I actually wanted to talk to you about stepping back from the Vixens.
Tell me, did it really not occur to you
to give me any advance warning about your offspring's lineage?
Well, to be honest, Cheryl, I wanted to tell you.
Not just as my co-captain, but as my friend.
But based on your recent behavior, I...
didn't even know if we had that relationship anymore.
And did this harebrained idea originate with Kevin or--
Me, Cheryl.
When I was a junior in Highsmith College,
I found out that I have a medical condition
that makes it hard for me to get pregnant, the older I am.
Oh.
Toni, I had no idea.
I'm so sorry.
Anyways, the doctor said that if I really want to have kids,
I need to do it while I'm young.
Okay.
-But Kevin and Fangs? -Fangs is like family to me.
We got initiated into the Serpents together. And when Fangs and Kevin
started talking about adoption or looking for a surrogate mother,
I volunteered.
Splendid.
So you've got an insta family while I'm withering away at Thornhill.
Look, I'm having a baby with Kevin and Fangs.
But I still care about you deeply.
And if you want, maybe we can still try and make this work.
I don't see how that's possible anymore.
But congratulations. I'm very happy for you.
You know, it's funny. I always figured the first baby would be
yours and Jughead's or Archie and Veronica's.
How times change, I guess.
Yeah. You're not kidding.
That sounded loaded.
What gives?
You have to keep it a secret though, okay?
Oh, God.
Please don't tell me you and Jughead are getting back together.
No! It's...
It's me and Archie.
We've been doing this casual friends with benefits thing.
Shut the front door.
Yeah, it's an...
It's an escape.
And we're in this bubble and I don't want it to burst.
And I also don't want to get in too deep with him, you know.
Why?
Because Archie's this lit window in the dark,
and I don't want that light to ever go out.
The importance of sight, the way we see the world
or how we interpret what happens to us is one of the biggest themes
in the Slaughterhouse-Five.
Now Billy has "discovered" the truth, and that's why he can, at any one point,
be at his daughter's wedding,
be fighting the Germans or he could be millions
of light years away as a captive in some alien zoo.
Billy has "achieved true sight."
Or at least that's one interpretation.
Mr. Jones?
Mr. Jones, are you okay?
Yeah, I'm sorry.
Uh...
What was I saying?
You said that there was another interpretation.
Yes, that Billy is crazy.
Hi, Dr. Whitley?
Yeah. Uh, it's Jughead Jones.
Sorry to bother you.
Upon further consideration, I think I might be interested in joining that group.
Making progress? Or are you too distracted by my beauty?
I'm painting you as Diana with Actaeon, the stag.
I'm sure you'll find it satisfactory.
You have a unique talent.
I recognized it right away.
I had to have an original Cheryl Blossom.
Once this painting is finished, will you leave me in peace?
I haven't decided yet.
Oh, who cares?
After the dagger my beloved Toni stuck in my heart,
what does anything else matter?
Go on.
She lured me out of the house where I feel safe
just to torture me with her happiness.
It's cruel, don't you think?
As an outsider, it seems to me that fate has put an obstacle before you, Ms. Blossom.
This Toni person's happiness.
And you must either rise above it, or...
Throw a little chaos at it.
Katy Keene?
How are you, girl?
Oh, my God, girl, I'm reeling.
So I'm having lunch with Francois in the Lacy's Cafe
and who strolls in with the heiress to the Spiffany's fortune?
Chad. Your Chad!
V, what the hell is going on with you two?
Well, clearly, he's trying to make me jealous.
Totally. Which means I'm about to pour hot coffee into his lap.
Perfect!
And I, Katy Keene, will be fighting fire with fire.
Wow, you boys made some real progress. Well done.
Oh, you know what we should do?
Document our reno journey.
Let me get between you two.
Come on.
Perfection. Now flex for my followers.
Is yours from Cheryl too? She wants us to gather at the Whyte Wyrm for drinks.
Well, shall we, boys?
I'm buying.
You know, I thought you had a thing going with Betty.
It's just a casual thing.
Okay, but what about Veronica?
The looks, the smiles, the banter?
-Dude. She's married to Jackson.
Sarge juggling two ladies.
Cheryl, what's this all about? -I wanted to apologize
for being so cuckoo to you earlier. Will you let me have a do-over?
Of course, Cheryl. You know your support means the world to me.
So, will you let me host a modest celebration for you, Kevin and Fangs?
Okay, sure.
Amaze.
Hear ye, hear ye, fellow friends and fiends.
Now that everyone is swan-diving into sad adulthood
with babies and marriages and arthritis, etcetera, I'm throwing a party.
One last hurrah to celebrate our wild misspent youth.
One final chance to recall our reckless teenage selves.
I mean, who could forget my iconic spin the bottle parties of yore?
Aren't we a little old for that?
Which is why this little fete will be a key party.
You heard me right.
A classic American and oh-so-adult round of sexual switcheroo.
We'll draw keys and pair off. And if the spirit moves you,
you are strongly encouraged
to act on any and all animal impulses.
I'm texting you the deets now, but bring keys for my bowl
and your well-oiled libidos.
Oh, my God, Polly!
When did you get back? Is Mom... Does Mom...
No, no, you can't, you can't be here. He'll find you.
-What? Who will? -TBK.
-Wha...
You shouldn't have gone in alone.
Oh, my God.
Good thing your mom still leaves that spare key under the gnome.
Beats climbing the trellis.
What's wrong?
Just a nightmare.
I don't want to talk about it, though. I just want to forget. Is that okay?
Yeah. Whatever you want.
Nice spread, sarge. And you're up before me. Not bad.
I actually haven't gone to bed yet. I was over at Betty's.
Uh-huh.
-Shut up, Jackson.
I thought it was going to be a booty call. Which I was more than fine with.
But this time it felt different.
It didn't feel great.
And if I'm being completely honest,
you were right about me and Veronica.
I mean, I would never do anything about it...
but there's definitely something still there.
So about Cheryl's party, I was thinking.
It's like she said, one last night of carefree abandon, right?
So what if you brought one of your hot trucker beaus to spice things up?
I mean, you must have a regular hookup, right?
Yeah, maybe.
Why would I do that, Kevin?
We just closed our relationship like, yesterday.
Well, I've always been curious about the company you keep on the road,
and you never brought a friend home per our rules.
Yeah, exactly. So, why now?
What's going on with you?
Nothing. But before we become husbands and fathers,
let's get every horn dog impulse out of our systems once and for all.
No strings, no guilt, no secrets.
Betty. Oh, thank God.
Your sister. She called. She's alive.
What? When? Are you sure it was Polly?
Yes, of course. I'm sure. I know the sound of my own daughter's voice.
What did she say? Walk me through everything.
Okay. Um, the phone rang, the landline. I picked up and it was Polly.
She was hysterical. She was talking a mile a minute.
Um, I tried to keep her on the phone, but she was... she was scared.
Mom, are you sure it wasn't just some crank?
Yes. She was scared.
Uh, she couldn't... she couldn't see anything. She was being kept somewhere.
It was dark. Everything was cold and smooth, like metal.
Quite frankly, it sounded like a spaceship.
In most of the missing persons cases,
after two days, the chances of a victim being found alive are almost nothing,
Mom, Polly's been gone for weeks.
No. You know what? No.
My daughter is alive.
She called and she's calling back.
The lights were as bright as the sun hovering a few hundred feet above me.
That was the last thing I remember.
I woke up six hours later by the side of the Lost Highway.
No idea how I got there.
Thanks for sharing that, Bill.
Mr. Jones.
Didn't you have an experience similar to the one that Bill described?
Uh, I was working late.
Diner was empty, jukebox was playing, and then things just kind of got crazy.
There were these lights from outside the window.
They were so bright, I should've been blinded. But then I...
Were you missing time, too?
Yeah. I mean, I probably just fell asleep.
Blackouts are fairly common during supposed encounters with extraterrestrials.
Have you ever blacked out before?
Jughead, are you...
You okay?
Uh, no, sorry. This was a mistake. Sorry.
Jughead.
Listen, I've been through enough in my life to know
when someone hits a nerve about something real.
I have blacked out. I just didn't want to talk about it in front of a group of strangers.
Okay, well, it's just me now.
When did it happen?
I was in New York City.
I was going pretty hard, I was drinking a lot.
Partying and doing drugs, Jingle-Jangle, some harder stuff, and I, uh...
I just did some things I don't even remember.
I lost a lot of time.
Look, maybe you shouldn't go to Cheryl's key party tonight.
I mean, we could go to a movie instead or, I don't know, hang out.
No, I think a night at Cheryl's house with some wanton debauchery
is precisely what I need to forget about all this alien crap.
Veronica Lodge spreading plaster.
Since my jewelry store remains closed, tragically, I'm happy to help.
Where's Eric, by the way?
He ran down to the VA to collect his disability.
Seems like a nice guy.
How'd he lose his leg?
On our last mission.
You'll never hear him complain, though.
The strong and silent type.
Sounds like somebody I used to know back in the day.
So how about Kevin and Fangs and Toni's announcement?
Yeah.
Sort of makes you take stock of your own life, doesn't it?
I'm starting to realize all the things I'm missing in my life.
And am I crazy, or have you been feeling the same way, too?
I'm not sure what I'm feeling, Ronnie.
Things are changing. Fast.
What happens if we get matched at the key party?
I honestly don't know.
Is Chad coming?
Yes, he is.
As a matter of fact, he should be on the train right now.
Good.
I think that's a good thing.
Yeah, me too.
♪ You make me feel like I am everything and nothing ♪
Keys, please.
-Where's the booze? -Straight ahead, the bar's in the gallery.
Hi.
Oh, good. Reginald, you got my message. Welcome.
Where's Fangs?
Um, he is bringing a date, I guess.
One of his caszh hookups.
-Okay. -It was my idea.
Okay. Why?
I don't know.
Maybe because I wanted to see what he's given up for me to get married.
Or maybe because I wanted to see if he'd actually go through with it and bring someone?
-Or maybe because I am an emotional masochist. -Oh, Kev.
♪ You get me fucked up Save me with your loving ♪
♪ You make me feel like I am everything and nothing ♪
Archie Andrews.
Chad Gekko. You made it.
Tell me, bro to bro. How is it that in a podunk town like Riverdale,
all the females are so smoking hot?
♪ You make me feel like I'm a million bucks ♪
Oh, my God. Fangs' date is my cruising crush.
Hey, Betty. -Hi, Fangs.
Betty, Kevin, this is my friend Rick.
We, uh... well, we both drive rigs along the same route.
-It's nice to meet you both. Nice to meet you.
Likewise. Anyone, uh, care for a drink? I'm buying.
I see we have a surprise guest.
Yes. Seems like your ex's rather handsome baby daddy's brought a friend.
Oh, well, if he's collateral damage, then so be it.
Shall we gather everyone?
It's time for some party games.
You're here. You came.
Which means you all feel it.
The impending crush of true adulthood.
Our 30s. And soon after, mortality. The big sleep.
Tonight's key party, then, is a bold rejection of death.
So since none of us are much for foreplay, let's get into it, shall we?
Some quick house rules, first and foremost.
Whatever happens tonight must be 100% consensual.
And because we're all a progressive, fluid, inclusive group,
there will be no redrawing of keys.
But the main rule is you're allowed to do anything you and your partner desire.
No one can hold you accountable.
It's a free pass to do anything you've ever wanted. Ever.
Are we clear?
Perf.
Who wants to go first? Minerva, the bowl?
I never like to be the second person to do anything, so...
Well, you know what they say.
Everyone's a winner in a bull market.
No, not with your ex.
Chadwick, don't be rude. Those are the rules, okay?
Get your hands off her.
Excuse me?
She's my wife.
Exactly.
So why don't you show her some respect?
No, no, no. We're not going to do this.
I'm not going to be some passive heroine to be fought over by two Tarzans.
Oh, look. I got Chad's key.
Come on, babe. We're leaving. Now.
Veto. That's breaking the rules.
Call my lawyer, Cheryl. Are you ready?
Fine.
Always good to knock a few pieces off the chessboard.
-And married people are supremely boring. Who's next? I'll go.
I'll take him home.
No one else is leaving without picking a key.
I don't care how inebriated Jughead is. He has to draw.
No, no. I want to. Let me, let me do it.
Ah! Those are my keys.
I guess it's meant to be. Now can I take him home?
Whatever. Get this American pickle the hell out of my sight.
-Charming as ever, Cheryl. -Come on, Jones. Party's over.
You're next, soldier boy.
You mean me?
Get up here, GI Jackson. Do your duty.
Those are mine.
How good are you at following orders?
-No one better, ma'am.
Before the pickings get too slim.
-Toni? -No. Guess again.
Actually, those are mine.
Are you sure that you're down with this?
It's no fun if you leave with the guy you came with.
-Right. -Great.
No promises, but we'll see what happens, stud.
On that note.
Imagine that.
Figured you'd end up at our house one way or another tonight.
Well, I'm still traumatized from spin the bottle sophomore year.
Cry me a river, cousin.
Perf. Bye!
Well, well.
Looks like fate has brought us together yet again.
-Antoinette. -How did I know this was going to happen?
Destiny has manifested.
I could feel it.
After making this night all about you, I knew we would end up together.
I don't believe in fate, Cheryl.
But I do believe in your ability to be a master manipulator.
Hush, Toni.
And follow me, I have a super-surprise.
A gift to you and your little one.
A nursery.
Cheryl, what the hell is this?
A place where we can be together.
With or without Kevin and Fangs.
Depending on whether or not they survive the night's festivities.
So is this why you threw a key party?
So you could hurt Kevin and Fangs?
To show you how fragile some unions can be, yes.
And to show you a path forward.
Don't you see? All these years, I've been compelled to work
on restoring Thornhill without ever truly understanding why.
But now, I see it so clearly.
It was to make a sanctuary for your child, if not, ours.
Cheryl, you've got to be kidding me.
I'm not bringing my baby into this house of horrors.
The last two months, all you've been trying to do is draw me out of Thornhill.
Yeah, and as my reward, you're trying to trap me here like you did at Thistlehouse
with your two dead brothers?
Well, it's not going to work.
I'm done trying to bring you down from the mountain.
I'm done trying to have a normal friendship with you.
That was my mistake.
I should have just left our relationship where it belongs. In the past.
Look, I'm sorry I led you on. And I'm sorry I agreed to this stupid party.
I really, really am.
So how long have you and Fangs been together?
Coming up on eight years.
-Open for the last three. -Hm.
But that door's closing, I hear.
Yeah, it's been discussed.
Well, I'm rooting for you guys.
I mean, I don't really know you, but Fogarty,
man, he's a keeper. He'll make a great dad too.
Rick, did Fangs ever mention me when he was with you?
Not really.
Then again, it might have been awkward, considering the context, you know?
Yeah, yeah, that makes sense.
All right, okay.
Whoops, okay.
Oh...
I think the world turned sideways for a minute there.
Yeah, it does that sometimes.
Tabitha, you think I actually had a close encounter or...
I don't know.
But I do think that there is something from your past
that you are trying to avoid dealing with.
You know something with those blackouts back in New York. Some friendly advice.
You should talk to someone, like a therapist
who specializes in cases of trauma.
Yeah, maybe you're right.
But, for tonight...
just...
sleep.
All right.
-You're home. -Mmm-hmm, yeah.
Turns out Reggie is 100% straight.
-Who'd you get paired with? -Rick.
Mmm.
Nothing happened, but...
Fangs,
I gotta tell you something.
I love you so much,
but I'm not ready to get married.
What?
Why?
Because you don't want to give up cruising in the woods.
Okay, so don't, that's fine.
It's not about the woods.
Uh, it's about me.
Where I'm at.
Where you're at.
What about Toni?
Hmm?
What about the fact that we're having a baby together?
I'm not sure yet.
Kevin, why are you imploding us?
Especially when you pushed for all of this. Being open,
starting a family, getting married.
Yeah, it's messed up.
I know, I know. I'm so messed up.
I'm, I'm...
I'm just sorry.
I'm sorry.
With a free pass to do whatever we want. So, why aren't we?
I think 'cause we're right on the edge.
That's what it feels like, yeah.
Betty,
before we do anything, I have to be honest with you.
I, uh...
I still have feelings for Veronica.
I shouldn't, but I do.
Shouldn't?
Archie, you and I should make sense.
The all-American boy, the girl next door.
But deep in our cores, we are such different people.
And getting closer to you,
the one thing I know is that I don't want my darkness to overtake you.
Betty.
And don't get me wrong.
It's been saving my sanity to escape with you.
But what's coming next with my mom and Polly is probably going to be the darkest thing
I've ever faced.
So, you get to face whatever's coming alone?
-No way. -No
Not alone.
Still with you,
as a friend,
because that's what I think I'm going to need.
More than a lover, more than an escape.
A friend.
A window of light in the dark.
And that's what I'll be.
Did you invite me here specifically to make me jealous?
-To humiliate me? Neither.
But I really did think it was time to stop playing games,
and avoiding the truth.
As ill-advised as Cheryl's party was tonight,
it confirmed something I've been feeling for a really long time, Chad.
It's sublime, Cheryl.
Thank you, Minerva. Considering so much of my life is sheer ugliness,
I'm relieved
-you think so. -Oh, Cheryl...
You made me beautiful because you're beautiful.
No, I'm not.
I'm repulsive.
No. Cheryl, you are...
You're gorgeous.
Hey.
I went by your house, but Eric told me you were on duty the next couple of nights, so...
Yeah. Serves me right for starting a fire department.
Archie...
Chad and I are getting a divorce.
He's on his way back to New York for good.
-I'm sorry. -Don't be.
I think,
in my heart of hearts, I knew it had to happen.
You know, I was devastated when I found out you were married.
But that was nothing
like the pain I felt seeing you unhappy.
More than anything, Ronnie, I just... I want you to be happy.
Good.
Because I might know a way that you can help me with that.
Wait, I...
I need to tell you something.
Betty and I,
we didn't hook up after the key party, but we...
we have hooked up a few times since we got back to Riverdale.
I wondered about that.
What was it? Just two lost lonely souls
-looking for a connection? -Something like that.
We're just friends is the truth.
I thought you should know.
The way I see it,
the past is in the past.
I'm only interested in
what we want.
Now. In the present.
♪ Carry me over
♪ Carry me through the night
♪ I need your hand
♪ To pull me through the fire
♪ Hold me tight
-Hello. -This is a collect call for Alice Cooper.
Yes. I'll accept the charges.
Mom, are you there?
-Polly. -Betty, you have to help me.
I'm at some pay phone in the middle of nowhere.
-Where? Where are you? -I don't know.
I ran as fast as I could, you have to come get me.
-I'm on the highway. -The Lonely Highway?
-Yeah. Yes, it looks like it. -What?
Here's what we're gonna do. I'm gonna hang up,
you're gonna call me back on my cell, okay? Mom and I are about to get in the car.
Okay, but hurry. They're coming.
Wait, there. There, Betty.
Polly!