[Jughead] The signs when they began were easily explained.
[croaking]
Frogs escaping from the biology lab.
[croaking]
-[buzzing] -And swarming flies.
[buzzing]
And children sent home from school for having lice in their hair.
So despite these omens and portents, daily life continued.
What can I do for you, Toni?
Okay, I know it's super short notice,
but Fangs and I set a date for the wedding.
Really?
-Congratulations! -Thanks!
We're really excited.
And let me guess, you wanna book one of our champagne suites,
for the big night?
Actually, we were kind of hoping
that you could help organize and facilitate the wedding.
Oh. Like in a party planner kind of way?
I know it's super last minute, but we need a miracle worker.
And you're literally the only person I know that could pull this off.
Absolutely.
I'd be honored to plan your party.
[Archie] Fangs asked me to be a groomsman at his wedding.
I said, "I'm in, as long as I don't have to give a speech
-or plan a bachelor party." -[chuckles]
I can't believe it.
I'd understand it if you wanted to take a pass.
No, Archie, I'm really happy for Toni and Fangs.
And I would love to get dressed up
and do something fun after SlaughterCon.
Yeah. A wedding would be a good thing
for everyone in the town.
We need something good to talk about, to celebrate.
Mm.
[typing]
Jughead, this is really cool.
But also really creepy.
I feel like I'm gonna have nightmares about La Llorona now.
Sorry.
No. No, no, no, I love it.
But, um,
where is this sudden burst of creativity coming from?
You know those voices that I've been hearing in my head?
I just started riffing off them.
And get this, the more I write, the more the voices subside.
Well, that's a relief.
Does that mean you can come out of the bunker?
Maybe go to Toni and Fangs' wedding?
Uh...
I just--
I don't know if I'm ready yet.
When I go back up there, the voices come back
and it's that same cacophony again.
But I don't want you to go dateless to the wedding.
No, no, no, no. Don't worry about that.
I just...
want you to get better.
I want you to be okay.
I am. I think I'm finally recovering.
[sighs in relief] Then that's all that matters.
[Jughead] Little did any of us know that frogs, flies and lice
were mere preludes to Percival's symphony of Biblical horrors.
[chanting in other language]
[repeating chant]
[Veronica] I'm glad Jughead's doing better.
Me, too. [sighs]
Not enough to rejoin society,
but baby steps.
[Veronica] Hmm.
How are you doing?
Am I getting the sense
that you are slightly less enthused about Toni's wedding
than you were about SlaughterCon?
[chuckles]
It's... It's not the wedding.
I'm thrilled for Toni and Fangs.
But...
[exhales sharply]
I used to be the she-wolf of Wall Street, Tabitha,
and now somehow I'm a glorified party planner.
And instead of living in New York, I'm here in Riverdale
with no social life,
no lover...
Nothing.
How did this happen?
Listen... [scoffs]
According to my five-year plan, I should have franchised Pop's
and taken it national by now.
But you are a lot more than a party planner.
And we all know that when you set your mind to something,
there's nothing you can't do.
Except find a day for this wedding.
[both chuckle]
God, I just miss sharing my heart with someone.
My love.
-[intercom buzzes] -[manover intercom] Uh, Ms. Lodge,
we've got a problem.
There's something wrong with the plumbing.
[Jughead] And it wasn't just at the casino.
[eerie music playing]
It was happening all over town.
[Toni] What is that, rust?
I don't know.
Something must be messed up with the pipes.
[knocking at door]
[Toni] Well, Kevin,
what's so important you couldn't call or text?
I just wanted to come and tell you in person
that I'm not gonna fight for custody of Baby Anthony anymore.
I'm dropping the case.
What made you change your mind?
You're his mother, Toni.
And you're his father, his real father, Fangs.
Not me.
I just don't wanna cause your Baby Anthony anymore distress
than I already have. So just please forgive me.
[cell phone ringing]
What do you want, Percival?
I want you to call off this ill-advised strike.
Your crew must be feeling the pinch by now.
End their torment, Archie.
Let them get back to work on my railroad.
It's not up to me.
The crew's holding firm, it's their choice.
See, Archie, even now, you refuse to see the signs.
Reptiles and insects are swarming.
It always starts with God's lowliest creatures.
What are you even talking about?
You have no idea what forces are at play here, do you?
Oh, well, you will, soon.
And then, your crew will be begging to get back to work for me.
In the meantime, might I suggest you tune in to the news?
[reporter] We repeat, somehow, overnight,
Sweetwater River has turned blood red.
Scientists are at a loss to explain this stunning, dare I say, apocalyptic event.
[Archie] It's weird. Percival basically insinuated
that he was responsible for what happened at Sweetwater River.
How could that be possible?
He's got the power of persuasion, yes.
And other parlor tricks, but turning an entire river red
would mean he's a sorcerer of tremendous ability and skill.
Well, he also said there are other signs and forces at play.
-What signs? -[Archie] I don't know.
Something about insects and snakes.
But the call was a threat.
Playing devil's advocate, which is what I do best,
I suggest we deal with our personal situation
immediately and decisively.
How?
Simple, we kill him.
I'll do the deed myself with my pyrokinesis.
[exhales] Oh, my God. Guys, we've all thought about it.
And if we kill Percival,
the battle between good and evil will already be lost.
[scoffs]
Look, Percival wants to break the strike.
Only, instead of bringing in gun thugs,
he's using scare tactics and intimidation.
So, then, we need to stay strong.
We have a meeting with the workers tomorrow.
We'll make sure that they feel supported.
That said, until we know more,
should we maybe tell Toni to wait a beat on her wedding?
No. A wedding will remind everyone in Riverdale what they're fighting for.
A better tomorrow for our families.
Percival's trying to divide the town.
Toni and Fangs will help bring it together.
-[water splashing] -[footsteps approaching]
[eerie music playing]
[music intensifies]
[Jughead] I didn't sleep well last night, vivid nightmares.
And now something's missing.
The ghost story I wrote about La Llorona.
Could someone have snuck into the bunker and stolen it?
[eerie whispers]
The strike is breaking us.
Some of us heard that Percival might be open
to renegotiating our contracts and salary.
No, guys, look, under no circumstances
can we go back to work for Percival now.
We've gotta keep thinking long term.
We're gaining momentum.
And, Percival, he's a snake.
We are fighting for the future.
You guys just need to hang on a little bit longer.
Can you do that?
Agent Lin, would you do me a favor
and get me a few Bibles?
And any other religious books you can track down.
Basically holy texts that mention...
plagues, curses, revelations.
Sure... I didn't realize you are a religious person.
I'm not, uh, but it's research for a possible case.
Hopefully, I'm wrong, and it's nothing.
Do you think it's crazy, that we're planning a wedding
while the sword of Damocles hangs over all of us?
We are fighting a battle on multiple fronts,
but it's just as important
for life to continue during wartime.
Because otherwise, what are we fighting for?
Good question.
You're fighting for Jughead
-and your family business. -Mm-hmm.
Betty and Archie are fighting for each other.
Toni and Fangs are fighting for Anthony.
What exactly am I fighting for?
Trust me, there's something.
There's a reason you stayed in Riverdale.
[Cheryl] That was Toni.
Something wrong?
She...
asked me to officiate her and Fangs' wedding.
And what did you say?
I said yes.
That was a really nice thing to do.
You know what, Heather?
It is nice.
And I am going to give Toni the best wedding gift ever.
Which is what?
I'm going to kill Percival for her.
[chanting in other language]
[repeating chant]
[woman] Oh, my God!
[buzzing]
What the hell happened to the food?
I don't understand.
Me neither.
Ten minutes ago, the spread was to die for.
Rotting meat? Spoiled food?
That's... Percival.
I don't believe this. We're gonna have to cancel.
The dinner's in a few hours.
No, no, Toni.
I said I would make this wedding happen for you,
and that includes the rehearsal dinner.
Leave everything to me.
They don't call Veronica Lodge a miracle worker for nothing.
[typewriter keys clacking]
[sniffs]
That smell. Is that a Pops' cheeseburger?
What? It can't be.
-[chair scrapes] -Okay.
This is weird.
I mean, I shouldn't touch it.
And I definitely shouldn't eat it.
And yet...
[sniffing]
Are you certain this will work?
[Heather] According to the incantation from the Maleficarum,
you should be able to project your powers elsewhere,
across town even, onto Percival,
as long as you focus on his puppet.
Okay.
[both] "Fire of brim and fire of stone,
accept this doll in place of bone.
And as the fire burns and quickens,
may death become old Percival Pickens."
[sizzling]
[screams]
[groans]
[straining]
Blossom.
[groans]
[breathing heavily]
[chanting in other language]
Is that it?
Did it work?
I... I'm not sure. Something doesn't seem right.
-[Nana screams] -Nana?
[screaming]
[screams]
[indistinct chatter]
[glass clinking]
I'd like to propose a toast.
Originally, this dinner was going to be at the Babylonium.
Then I realized that when your bride
is as elegant and classy as Antoinette Topaz,
she elevates everything to five stars.
[all] Aww!
Moreover, the venue isn't nearly as important
as the people who are there celebrating with you.
[exhales]
So, a toast to you, Toni,
and a toast to all of us
for coming together in the face of unprecedented adversity.
-[piano playing] -But most especially...
to us single girls.
♪ Here's to the ladies who lunch♪
♪ Everybody laugh♪
♪ Lounging in their caftans and planning a brunch♪
♪ On their own behalf ♪
[jazz music playing]
♪ And here's to the girls who play wife ♪
♪ Aren't they too much?
♪ Keeping house but clutching a copy of Life ♪
♪ Just to keep in touch♪
♪ And here's to the girls who just watch♪
♪ Aren't they the best?♪
♪ When they get depressed It's a bottle of Scotch♪
♪ Plus a little jest♪
♪ Another chance to disapprove♪
♪ Another brilliant singer♪
♪ Another reason not to move♪
♪ Another vodka stinger♪
-♪ I'll... -[glassshatters]
♪ Drink to that
♪ So here's to the girls on the go♪
♪ Everybody tries♪
♪ Look into their eyes and you'll see what they know♪
♪ Everybody dies♪
♪ A toast to that invincible bunch♪
♪ The dinosaurs surviving the crunch♪
♪ Let's hear it for the ladies who lunch ♪
♪ Everybody rise
♪ Rise♪
[all applauding]
That was quite the performance, V.
Thanks, B.
I did Companyat Barnard,
and I've been waiting for the perfect moment to deploy a little Sondheim.
Yeah.
So listen, V.
Do you have a date for the wedding tomorrow?
For the first time in, well, ever,
Veronica Lodge is going stag.
Well, in that case...
do you want to come with me and Archie?
You mean, like when the three of us
went to the back-to-school dance together, sophomore year?
That was iconic.
I mean, we were pretty badass, huh?
Oh, completely.
But I couldn't do that to you and Archie.
Though I am moved by the gesture.
But thanks for reminding me of what I'm fighting for
in this wicked little town.
My friends.
B and V forever?
B and V forever.
Guys.
We just got a crazy text from Cheryl.
[Cheryl] It was awful.
My nana was engulfed in flames.
Heather is rubbing a healing salve all over her body even as we speak.
Okay, but I don't understand.
You were trying to burn Percival,
but Nana Rose caught on fire instead.
Yes. Heather thinks he used a counter spell
to redirect the attack on to Nana.
Which means his powers do extend
beyond mind control and psychological attacks.
Small potatoes, but we think he may have corrupted
the first iteration of Toni's rehearsal dinner.
Corruption, it's another plague
like rivers running blood red, and flies, and frogs.
So, Percival's calling plagues down upon us?
Fine, whatever.
But how are we supposed to protect ourselves against that?
We call the strike off
before God knows what else happens.
That's why Percival's bringing the hammer down on us,
on everyone, to get us back to work.
Yes, building his ghost train,
which would doom us all.
The very definition of a lose-lose situation.
Well, this will just be a stopgap,
a counter move to get Percival to ease off.
We'll build his railway, but slowly.
It'll give us enough time to find a more permanent solution.
God, I wish there was a person on the inside who we could trust,
who could just tell us what Percival was doing in his shop.
[Veronica] Wait.
Toni told me that Kevin
is dropping his custody claim on Anthony,
and he's moving out of the Babylonium,
which makes me think...
maybe he's not team Percival all the way anymore.
Well, I can talk to Kevin.
Maybe he can help us.
[typewriter keys clacking]
Damn, I probably shouldn't have eaten that food.
[sighs]
-[stomach rumbling] -Oh.
God, no, I definitely shouldn't have.
[retching]
I actually thought that Percival was making this town better,
that he had something to offer me.
But he was just telling me what I wanted to hear,
and I listened, and I went along with it like a fool.
You weren't the only one, Kev.
And it's not too late for you to help us stop Percival, okay?
So what can you tell me about him?
He's...
some kind of magic man. I've seen him performing spells.
Yeah, we suspected as much.
Is there anything else?
He's got this little black book full of secrets
that he's always writing in, like a journal, a diary, or something.
-Kev, I hate to ask... -You want me to try to steal it,
don't you?
[inhales]
Okay, Betty, yeah, I'll try.
Where are you guys going?
Oh, we're just gonna play a little pickup outside.
Get the blood pumping.
Why? What's up, Archie?
Look, guys, with your permission,
I'd like to meet up with Percival, and negotiate the best possible terms
for you that I can.
To return to work?
-Why? -Because who knows how long this strike will drag on.
And my sense is things are going to get worse,
a lot worse, before they start getting better.
Yeah, but we heard you before, and we're here for it.
We want to do what's right, but don't you waver, man.
You guys all feel like this?
[all agree]
[chuckles]
All right, screw it. We stand together.
[man] All right! Whoo!
[sinister instrumental music playing]
[humming]
[chanting in other language]
[players chatting]
-[man 1] Archie! -[man 2 groans]
[bubbling]
-[all groaning] -Guys, what the hell is happening?
[groaning]
[door opens]
What the hell are you playing at?
I did warn you, Mr. Andrews.
Take away the boils.
I'll get the crew back to work.
No. Too soon for that.
They haven't learned their lessons yet.
But if you wanted to ease your workers' symptoms...
you could start work for me immediately.
And you'll stop hurting my crew?
If you keep working and a certain threshold of progress is met,
the workers' boils and pain will subside...
[softly] ...eventually.
[ghostly murmuring]
[grunts softly]
[ghostly murmuring]
Sweet Forsyth.
Cheryl.
What ails you?
I don't know.
[groans softly]
Mayhap, I can relieve you.
[gasps]
[breathing heavily]
[Jughead] And how much did you want to bet
that another one of my stories was now gone, too?
-[door opens] -[bell dinging]
[door closes]
[objects clattering]
[Percival] Kevin, what are you doing?
Oh, uh, I'm just...
looking for you.
I was out picking up delivery.
What's all this?
Uh, I'm just feeling adrift, I guess.
All this stuff with Toni and Fangs getting married
just made me feel...
lonely, unwanted...
Oh, Kevin.
You and your self-esteem, eh?
Well, I've got something that will distract you, if not cheer you up.
Come and help me unpack some of the glorious new treasures
-that I've acquired. -[sighs]
[telephone ringing]
[man] I saw a woman sit upon a scarlet-colored beast,
full of blasphemy.
And that woman was Babylon the Great,
mother of all destruction and abomination.
You are that woman, Betty.
[Jughead] And lo, it came to pass
on the third day, while Archie Andrews worked the railway
-to spare his crew anymore suffering... -[grunting]
...and Veronica Lodge worked the phones, trying to rustle up
an appropriate date for Toni's wedding...
and Toni and Fangs worked on their wedding vows...
a terrible darkness fell over the town of Riverdale...
in the middle of the day.
[suspenseful music playing]
[panting]
And now, surprise eclipses are happening in Riverdale.
Archie's working the railway,
and the plagues are still coming.
So clearly, Percival has another agenda.
Percival is getting ready for war,
-Betty. -What does that mean?
He just received a shipment of weaponry.
Crossbows from the Crusades,
uh, sabers from the Civil War,
torture racks from the Spanish Inquisition,
a stockade for the Harlot of Babylon,
swords and shields from ancient Saxony.
Hold on. Go, go back to the... The stockade part?
Yeah, it's a torture device.
Kept rambling about how he wants
to put the Harlot of Babylon exactly where she belongs.
On display for when the walls come tumbling down.
[bell dinging]
Ms. Cooper.
Always a pleasure to have visitors in my shop.
You want to imprison me, right?
[door closes]
Do you want to put me in that stockade? Will that satisfy you?
And why on Earth would I want that?
I had a-- a flash.
A memory, a dream. I don't know what it was.
A man calling me the Harlot of Babylon,
and asking me to join his side in a coming war.
I didn't understand it. I still don't understand it.
But yours is the only war that I'm aware of, currently.
So if you want Riverdale's harlot on display,
I guess that would be me.
So put me in your stockade, Percival,
if that will finally stop the plagues.
[chuckling] Now I understand.
Mr. Keller has betrayed me.
But no, Ms. Cooper, it's not you that I want.
At least, not only you.
Then what?
Well, I would have thought that was rather obvious.
[Toni] He wants Baby Anthony?
Over my dead body.
Well, of course we're not going to give him Baby Anthony.
What? Does he want Anthony for some crazy occult ritual?
Hmm, probably.
If that man comes near my child, I'm going to rip his larynx out.
Time is not on our side.
Percival's threatened to call down more plagues
if we don't hand over Baby Anthony by sundown.
I'm almost afraid to ask,
but which plagues are left?
Earthquakes, fire from the sky, pestilence,
hail, and...
death of the firstborn.
Oh, my, God.
And Baby Anthony is not the only thing that he wants.
He wants to put me in the Harlot of Babylon's stockade.
Stockade?
What?
Check the Maleficarum, page 352.
Is this what you're talking about?
-Yeah. -Yeah, that's it.
Okay, that's good news.
This is the Stockade of Legarius.
According to the Maleficarum,
the Stockade of Legarius is practically inescapable.
It renders its prisoners powerless.
Would that include Percival?
Sure, if we can get him into it.
Turning his torture device against him.
I'm down with that.
Agreed, but how?
With a tactic my father favored.
A good old-fashioned raid.
Percival's just hanging out in his shop, happily polishing his antiques,
waiting for me to deliver Baby Anthony.
Well, if we move fast enough,
like, right now, we might be able to catch him by surprise.
[Kevin] I'm so in, but...
Won't he see us coming from a mile away?
Not necessarily.
Who are you?
What are you?
What do you want from me?
Why are you stealing my work?
Oh.
What? No answer?
[bottle clattering]
[whirring]
[bell dinging]
Oh.
Back.
Sooner than I expected.
[gasps]
And what does the Harlot have in her arms?
[sighs] I brought what you wanted.
Very good, Betty.
Now, may I see the baby?
Of course.
You're a fool, Miss Cooper.
Coming here,
all alone, with your dime-store trickery.
Yeah, except I'm not alone.
Guys.
-Oh! -You're under arrest, Percival.
Nighty night, Percy.
[panting]
-[Jughead] And lo, it came to pass... -[clanging]
...that Percival was captured.
And with his capture...
[clangs]
...the sun returned.
The plagues had ended...
the chain was broken.
The mad monk was in his dungeon.
What do you think of your new accommodations?
Rest assured, my vault is the most secure room in this building.
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I don't want to be late for the event of the season.
TTFN!
[door closes]
[Fogarty] We wanted to talk to you, Kevin.
What you've done over the past few days isn't lost on us.
Releasing custody of Baby Anthony,
helping us catch Percival.
So we've talked it over,
and we'd like to invite you to the wedding.
Really?
You guys, I-- I don't know what to say.
Can... Moose come?
[chuckles] Yes, yes.
["Here Comes the Bride" plays]
[Cheryl] Dearly beloved,
we are gathered here today for the wedding of Fangs Fogarty
and my dearest friend Antoinette Topaz,
to celebrate and bear witness to their union as a couple
with Baby Anthony present as a family.
Fangs, What say you?
Mm-hmm. [clears throat]
Toni...
"If you had told me while we were being initiated into the Serpents
that we'd one day be getting married,
-I probably would have laughed." [chuckles] -[chuckles]
[pages rustling]
But believe me when I say to you today,
I love you, Toni.
And I love our family.
[softly] It's us against the world.
[romantic instrumental music playing]
[softly] Toni?
Fangs,
getting married here today is just
the next step in our wild
and unexpected journey together.
I love how unconventional,
surprising, and beautiful our relationship is.
You're an amazing father,
and you make Baby Anthony and I, very, very proud.
I'm so excited about the memories we're going to make with Anthony.
Till death do us part.
[Scatting to the tune of "Ride of the Valkyries"]
[insect trilling and buzzing]
Oh, good, you found me.
Now, where are the others?
[insects trilling]
Well, now it's a party.
Now, by the power vested in me, under the watchful eye of Hecate,
I declare you husband and wife.
You may share your first wedded kiss.
[giggles]
[all applaud and cheer]
Yeah!
[upbeat music playing]
♪ I wrote a song six years ago ♪
♪ While playing in a wedding band ♪
♪ The word got out And suddenly the band and I are in demand ♪
♪ And now couples all over Jersey ♪
♪ Hire me to ensure their wedding bliss ♪
♪ All because of the tune I wrote ♪
♪ That tune goes like this
♪ Oh, when it's your wedding day and my music starts to play ♪
♪ I can guarantee that love will find you ♪
♪ Yeah, when it's your wedding day ♪
♪ All the problems melt away
♪ If you count on me 'Cause love is what I do ♪
♪ Now, when we...
Let's make quick work of this wormwood, shall we?
It's not my first time in a stockade, and I simply can't abide it.
Plus, there's still so much to do...
♪ We might play you some Careless Whisper ♪
...before the end of it all.
♪ Or make you wish you had Jessie's Girl instead ♪
♪ Bring the room down with Endless Love ♪
♪ And last, bang your head
♪ Bang your head!
♪ Yeah, when it's your wedding day ♪
♪ All the problems melt away
♪ If you count on me
♪ 'Cause love is what
♪ Yes, love is what
♪ What I do!
♪ Do, do, do, do Love's what I do ♪
♪ Do, do, do, do, do Do, do, do, do♪
[guitar solo plays]
♪ Love is what I do!
[door opens]
[footsteps approaching]
[suspenseful music playing]
Roseanne Blossom.
-You are the oldest living first-born child in Riverdale. -[whimpering]
And so, will be my harbinger
for my last plague.
[grunts] And there shall be a great cry in all the land,
as there never was before.
[struggling]
[sinister instrumental music playing]
♪ You are the blueprint
["Better Version" playing]
♪ But internally God damn, you're a mess ♪
♪ So to stay with you I had to imagine ♪
♪ That he is perfect
♪ Anything I give him he deserves it ♪
Care for some company?
-Tabitha, hey. -Hi.
Perfect timing.
I have a question for you.
You've seen into the future.
Does that mean you know who's endgame?
Archie and Betty? Or...
Archie and me?
Come on, Tabitha. I know you know.
Okay.
Listen, I will tell you, but,
this has to stay between us.
[exhales]
-The truth is... -[Betty] Archie!
Oh, my God!
-Hey! Arch! -[Archie gasps]
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Someone help, please! Please!
Arch! Arch!
-I don't know who did this. -[gasps]
Archie? Archie! Look at me, please!
Hey. Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Archie! Arch!
[groans]
Gigi! Gigi!
Gigi! What's happening?
-[Cheryl] Help, somebody! -[glass breaking]
-[Fogarty groaning] -[glass breaking]
[objects clattering]
[people clamoring]
[glass breaking]
What is happening?
[pages flipping]
[suspenseful music playing]
All right. Jig's up.
Who are you?
Why are you taking my stories?
Hey, turn around.
[shouts] I said turn around!
What...
[gasps]
Oh. [inhales sharply]
[groans]
[continues groaning]
[people sobbing]
[Veronica] I don't understand this.
It's the last plague.
[sobbing] Death of the firstborn.
I was born last after Polly and Charles.
Hermosa's older than me.
Jason was older than me. [sobbing]
But Baby Anthony is the first born.
Yeah, he is.
Must be why Percival wanted him, he's...
He's special somehow.
Jughead!
Oh, my God, Jughead!
[sobbing] Oh, my God.
I believe I know someone who can help us.
A necromancer,
far beyond my abilities.
Who?
[inhales]
Her name...
is Sabrina.
[suspenseful music playing]