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Sync and corrections by explosiveskull
www.addic7ed.com
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Please, Luke.
Please, please, please.
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How many cups
have you had this morning?
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- None.
- Plus?
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Five, but yours is better.
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I got a kissed.
And I shoplifted.
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Honestly, Lorelai,
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it's not your looks that keep them away.
Think about that.
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People die, we pay.
People crash cars, we pay.
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People lose a foot, we pay.
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At least you have
your new slogan.
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- Did you do something slutty?
- I'm not that happy.
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People are particularly stupid today.
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- Copper boom!
- Norman Mailer, I'm pregnant!
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- Luke can waltz?
- Luke can waltz.
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I just want you to know I'm in.
I am all in.
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It'd be like the first
15 minutes of Saving Private Ryan,
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but at least those guys
got to be in France.
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I am not going to Harvard.
I had sex, but I'm not going to Harvard!
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I stopped being a child
the minute the strip turned pink.
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You jump, I jump, Jack.
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Eternal damnation
is what I'm risking for my rock and roll.
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Oy with the poodles already.
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Because I love you, you idiot.
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I smell snow.
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Hey!
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That's how you look
when you get off a plane?
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That's how you say hello?
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You've been stuffed in a tin can
for seven hours surrounded by people
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with consumption, diphtheria, scabies,
hummus dip, rabid dogs,
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drugged up children attacking
your chair, stealing your change.
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- What airline are you flying?
- You should look drawn and blotchy.
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You should be singing "I Dreamed a Dream"
with a bad haircut
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while selling yourself
to a bunch of French dockworkers.
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Instead, you look perfect.
Admit it. You've been gooped.
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I have not been gooped.
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You're doing yoga in the aisles
in cashmere sweatpants
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while your comfort dog watches
Zoolander 2 on his watch.
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I do blood clot prevention foot pumps
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wearing my Yonah Schimmel Knishery
baseball cap
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while toothpaste dries up
a zit on my chin.
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Wow! Winded!
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- Haven't done that for a while.
- Felt good.
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- I've missed you, kid.
- Missed you, too.
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- How long's it been?
- Feels like years.
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- Coffee and tacos.
- Princess Charlotte iced tea spoons.
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Mmm!
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All right, shall we
get it out of the way?
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Might as well.
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One day? That's all?
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I'm sorry!
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You miss Christmas and Thanksgiving
and all I get is a one day visit?
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What am I, chopped liver?
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I have to be on the red-eye
to London tomorrow.
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- London again.
- For work.
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♪ And the cat's in the cradle
And the silver spoon ♪
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- Oh, now, Emily.
- Oh, wow! Nicely played.
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All right, you win.
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We have limited time.
Should we skip the town tour?
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- We can't skip the town tour.
- Well, we'll keep it short.
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- Le Chat Club closed due to rats.
- Again?
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- We got parking meters.
- Where?
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No one would pay
so they took them out.
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This town is mob ruled.
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Al's Pancake World won
best Christmas decorations again.
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It's that nativity scene
with eggplant Jesus.
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- You can't beat it.
- There's a debate
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about taking the phone booth out.
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Where would Superman change
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when he comes to save our town
from Ben Affleck?
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- I made the same excellent point.
- What's with the signs?
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Ooh, I saved the best for last.
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Taylor has decided that septic systems
are beneath us
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- and he wants to go full-on sewer.
- How can we do that?
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He's going door to door collecting
people's septic tank horror stories.
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- Oh, Lord!
- Then, he'll compile them,
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then he and a panel will stage testimonial
re-enactments for the county assessor.
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Are you telling me this
to get me to stay longer?
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- Is it working?
- Kind of.
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Hi, Miss Patty!
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Rory! You look fabulous!
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She just got off a plane!
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Oh! That's my work phone.
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- It's not ringing.
- Yeah, I know.
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- It's not ringing, either.
- I know.
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- You've got more burners than Omar Little.
- I got a personal phone, a work phone,
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and the phone that gets reception
in Stars Hollow. Theoretically.
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The fact that the entire town
was actually constructed
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in a giant snow globe probably has
an effect on your bar count.
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Ha!
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00:04:04,933 --> 00:04:07,560
Hello? Hello? Um...
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Damn! Hello?
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You're breaking up.
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Oh, come on.
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Hello?
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Hold on! Hello?
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Crap! Hello?
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Hi, can you hear me now?
Can you hear me...
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Yes! Hi! Great!
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Um, so, how are you?
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Hello?
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I'm heading to the trees!
I'm... I'm heading to the trees.
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Okay, I'm at the trees.
Hello? Hello?
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I'm gonna try Doose's.
You coming?
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- Nah! I just hit my steps.
- Okay.
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Um, hello?
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Are you still there?
Okay, flip phone!
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Hi! Sorry, it's Rory Gilmore again.
I think Ingrid just...
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Hello? Hello?
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Hello? Crap!
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Hello?
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Hello?
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Oh, yes! Sure, she can.
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Okay, on this number, please.
Thank you.
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Rory! Hey! I didn't know
you were coming in today.
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Oh, it's just a super quick in and out.
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- Cabbage.
- What? Oh.
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Come again.
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Um, so tell me,
what is going on with you?
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- Oh, you don't wanna know.
- Uh-oh.
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- Yeah, Zach got a promotion.
- My God! Why?
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- I don't know. I think they like him.
- Poor guy.
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Yeah, he's a route supervisor now.
Has to wear a tie.
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- I'm so sorry.
- It's fairly devastating.
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I tell him he looks
like a young Leonard Cohen,
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but he looks like his dad.
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Sorry.
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- Yeah.
- Hello? Oh, Ingrid. Finally!
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It's so good to finally connect.
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Lorelai, I'm glad I ran into you.
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- Your house is that way, Kirk.
- I did not get lost again.
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I wanted you to know
that I've started a new business.
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It's a ride share business.
I call it Ööö-ber.
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Uh-oh. There's already an Uber, Kirk.
135
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No, not Uber.
Ööö-ber. Three "O's" instead of a "U."
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- Okay, but it's, uh...
- Ööö-ber.
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- Right. But it's the...
- Ööö-ber.
138
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It's a service where people can request
a ride and I will pick them up.
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- Like Uber.
- Except it's Ööö-ber.
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It's the same thing.
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00:06:09,057 --> 00:06:10,683
- No, it's not.
- Kirk.
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People use an app to call a car.
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- I have no app.
- Then how do they get a car?
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They call my mother, she calls me,
I find a car and I pick them up.
145
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- So it's a much worse version of Uber.
- And it's pronounced Ööö-ber.
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- Stop making that sound.
- All right. You've got my mom's number.
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Now if you'll excuse me...
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- it is past Petal's bedtime.
- Bye, Petal.
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When did Kirk get a pig?
150
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Babette heard him and Lulu
talking about having a baby,
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so the whole town chipped in.
It bought us a couple of years.
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- Very smart.
- Ready?
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Hold on.
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I'm not really home
till I get my Stars Hollow Gazette.
155
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Christmas edition.
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Manger news, Santa's wishes,
eggnog checkpoints, and...
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the Christmas poem.
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- Same one every year.
- Every single year.
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So good to be home.
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What?
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I smell snow.
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♪ Nothing looks so pretty as ♪
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♪ The winter stars a-glittering ♪
164
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♪ Shining on a freshly fallen snow ♪
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♪ When the blue light of the moon ♪
166
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♪ Is giving off a loving winter glow ♪
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♪ Such a tender feeling when ♪
168
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♪ The candlelight a-flickering ♪
169
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♪ The ember window calls you home ♪
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♪ And the fireplace is crackling ♪
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♪ And giving off a warming winter glow ♪
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♪ Summer with its nights
That last forever has its charm ♪
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♪ Fall with golden leaves
That gather, too ♪
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00:08:01,669 --> 00:08:06,633
♪ Spring is all the brighter
After rip storms have blown ♪
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♪ But winter has a magic of its own ♪
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- Got it?
- Yup.
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Are you sure?
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- Oh, yes.
- Come on. Let's get in out of the snow!
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Let's go!
180
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Luke's gonna be
so excited to see you.
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I can't wait to see him.
182
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Hello, Rabbi.
183
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Oh, Paul Anka,
what is she making you wear now?
184
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No, no.
This one was his idea.
185
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Aw, don't feel bad.
She did the same thing to me.
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- Okay, get ready.
- For what?
187
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- Super-proud Luke.
- What?
188
00:08:51,594 --> 00:08:54,472
Luke! It's a Christmas miracle!
189
00:08:54,556 --> 00:08:57,309
- Ah! There she is, the New Yorker writer!
- Super-proud!
190
00:08:57,392 --> 00:08:58,935
It was just one Talk of the Town piece.
191
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Oh, one Talk of the Town piece?
Come on.
192
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It was terrific.
And that woman you wrote about...
193
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- Naomi Shropshire.
- Yes! I've never heard of her.
194
00:09:05,275 --> 00:09:07,360
- Now I feel like I've met her.
- I appreciate that.
195
00:09:07,444 --> 00:09:10,113
I've never read the New Yorker before,
but now, every week.
196
00:09:10,197 --> 00:09:11,239
I'm glad.
197
00:09:11,323 --> 00:09:13,241
I subscribed to it.
Who says print is dead?
198
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- Only the world.
- Well, what does the world...
199
00:09:16,036 --> 00:09:17,662
- You're eating?
- Just tacos.
200
00:09:17,745 --> 00:09:19,581
- Tacos are tiny.
- I'm making dinner.
201
00:09:19,664 --> 00:09:20,915
- Wow. So I'm fat?
- What?
202
00:09:20,998 --> 00:09:22,542
- Body shaming.
- I am not body shaming.
203
00:09:22,625 --> 00:09:24,336
- Trigger warnings!
- Oh, for Christ's sake.
204
00:09:24,419 --> 00:09:26,671
- War on Christmas!
- I am making two main courses
205
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because you told me
to make two main courses.
206
00:09:28,548 --> 00:09:31,008
- What two main courses?
- Mac and cheese, parmesan cutlets...
207
00:09:31,093 --> 00:09:32,760
- With garlic bread?
- And tater tots!
208
00:09:32,844 --> 00:09:33,928
I am not making tater tots.
209
00:09:34,011 --> 00:09:35,388
- Why not?
- We need sustenance!
210
00:09:35,472 --> 00:09:37,682
- You're eating tacos!
- Tater tots go great with tacos.
211
00:09:37,765 --> 00:09:39,142
Tater tots are great in tacos.
212
00:09:39,226 --> 00:09:40,310
- Yes!
- No!
213
00:09:40,393 --> 00:09:41,769
- Hey! I mean it!
- They're organic.
214
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All right, negotiation's over!
215
00:09:43,313 --> 00:09:45,440
Put the tater tots back,
finish your tacos,
216
00:09:45,523 --> 00:09:47,234
wash your hands,
dinner's almost ready!
217
00:09:47,317 --> 00:09:48,943
Ah! And I saw you grab
those mini donuts.
218
00:09:49,026 --> 00:09:50,237
Put 'em down right now.
219
00:09:50,320 --> 00:09:52,780
I cannot believe the conversations
I have in this room.
220
00:09:52,864 --> 00:09:54,782
I thought cooking was supposed
to be relaxing.
221
00:09:54,866 --> 00:09:55,992
Oh, no.
222
00:09:56,076 --> 00:09:58,911
Don't put that song on
and disappear into Rory's room. Hey!
223
00:09:58,995 --> 00:10:00,037
At least turn it down!
224
00:10:00,122 --> 00:10:01,623
- Did my boxes get here?
- Behind the rack.
225
00:10:01,706 --> 00:10:02,707
Great!
226
00:10:02,790 --> 00:10:06,878
So, you finally did it, huh?
Finally gave up the Brooklyn pad?
227
00:10:06,961 --> 00:10:09,839
I did. Lena Dunham will just have
to get along without me.
228
00:10:09,922 --> 00:10:11,508
- Are you gonna miss it?
- A little.
229
00:10:11,591 --> 00:10:12,717
I'm gonna miss it.
230
00:10:12,801 --> 00:10:16,888
It had that early American
tenement shtetl slash Trainspotting vibe
231
00:10:16,971 --> 00:10:19,015
that every mother wants
for her little girl.
232
00:10:19,099 --> 00:10:20,892
It was a perfectly decent apartment.
233
00:10:20,975 --> 00:10:24,020
I liked how you had to avoid the walls
or you'd stick to them.
234
00:10:24,104 --> 00:10:26,063
- One wall.
- See, in some apartments,
235
00:10:26,148 --> 00:10:27,690
you don't have to avoid any walls.
236
00:10:27,774 --> 00:10:29,942
It was a great place.
I just was never there.
237
00:10:30,026 --> 00:10:32,154
Do you know how many nights
I spent there this year?
238
00:10:32,237 --> 00:10:33,780
- Three? Eighteen?
- No. No.
239
00:10:33,863 --> 00:10:35,198
- Forty-six?
- No.
240
00:10:35,282 --> 00:10:38,493
Is this The Price is Right?
If I'm a little under I win, over, I lose?
241
00:10:38,576 --> 00:10:40,453
I don't know exactly
how many nights, okay?
242
00:10:40,537 --> 00:10:42,747
It was not a lot.
Now the building's going condo.
243
00:10:42,830 --> 00:10:45,958
I'm not ready to buy a condo,
so it seemed like the time to say...
244
00:10:46,042 --> 00:10:47,835
- Bye-bye, Brooklyn.
- Bye-bye, Brooklyn.
245
00:10:47,919 --> 00:10:49,296
This box is open.
246
00:10:49,379 --> 00:10:51,964
- Damn that TSA!
- Really? You went through my stuff?
247
00:10:52,048 --> 00:10:55,177
I did. And I must say,
I found it very disappointing.
248
00:10:55,260 --> 00:10:57,011
You found my personal items disappointing?
249
00:10:57,094 --> 00:10:58,930
I thought there'd be
something fun in there,
250
00:10:59,013 --> 00:11:01,933
like a treasure map
or the prequel to Huckleberry Finn
251
00:11:02,016 --> 00:11:04,852
where Huck is a Klan leader
and terrified of water.
252
00:11:04,936 --> 00:11:06,479
I think it's kind of exciting,
you know?
253
00:11:06,563 --> 00:11:08,606
No apartment, no rent, no ties.
254
00:11:08,690 --> 00:11:10,483
I could crash here,
I could crash at Lane's.
255
00:11:10,567 --> 00:11:15,238
I feel like this is my time to be rootless
and just see where life takes me,
256
00:11:15,322 --> 00:11:18,157
and travel wherever there's
a story to write.
257
00:11:18,241 --> 00:11:20,285
I just wish I had remembered
to label my boxes
258
00:11:20,368 --> 00:11:22,287
because now I know where nothing is.
259
00:11:22,370 --> 00:11:24,289
My boots, my coats, my underwear...
260
00:11:24,372 --> 00:11:26,999
- You don't know where your underwear is?
- Could be at Lane's.
261
00:11:27,083 --> 00:11:29,126
You've been without your underwear
since you moved?
262
00:11:29,211 --> 00:11:30,127
Don't judge.
263
00:11:30,212 --> 00:11:32,589
I'm Gwen freakin' Stefani.
Want to borrow some underwear?
264
00:11:32,672 --> 00:11:35,967
I'd like to stop talking about underwear.
I'm looking for my lucky outfit.
265
00:11:36,050 --> 00:11:39,011
Any outfit you wear without underwear
will be your lucky outfit.
266
00:11:39,095 --> 00:11:41,013
I have a big meeting with Condé Nast
267
00:11:41,097 --> 00:11:43,891
and I have this look
that makes me feel like Diane Sawyer.
268
00:11:43,975 --> 00:11:45,184
Is it a Mike Nichols mask?
269
00:11:45,268 --> 00:11:46,978
I'll get it!
270
00:11:47,061 --> 00:11:48,062
What's this?
271
00:11:48,145 --> 00:11:51,858
Oh! That is a box of New Yorker magazines
with your fancy piece in it.
272
00:11:51,941 --> 00:11:53,109
Box one of six.
273
00:11:53,192 --> 00:11:54,944
- You're kidding.
- Super-proud!
274
00:11:55,027 --> 00:11:56,363
Hey, that guy's here.
275
00:11:56,446 --> 00:11:59,115
- What guy?
- You know... uh, Jeffrey.
276
00:11:59,198 --> 00:12:00,825
- Who? Who?
- Allen? Billy?
277
00:12:00,908 --> 00:12:03,202
There's nothing remotely similar
about those names.
278
00:12:03,286 --> 00:12:05,538
- You know. Him. Your guy.
- Paul?
279
00:12:05,622 --> 00:12:06,998
- Paul. Yes, Paul.
- Paul's not here.
280
00:12:07,081 --> 00:12:08,207
- Paul's here.
- Who's Paul?
281
00:12:08,291 --> 00:12:12,003
Paul, my... Paul, my boyfriend?
Oh, crap! Paul is here!
282
00:12:12,086 --> 00:12:13,796
- Why is Paul here?
- I invited him for dinner,
283
00:12:13,880 --> 00:12:17,759
and I totally forgot.
Crap, crap, crap!
284
00:12:17,842 --> 00:12:20,220
I can't believe you forgot
Rory's boyfriend Paul.
285
00:12:22,179 --> 00:12:23,806
You came.
286
00:12:23,890 --> 00:12:25,725
Of course I came.
287
00:12:26,976 --> 00:12:28,853
- For you.
- So beautiful.
288
00:12:28,936 --> 00:12:32,148
- And indigenous to Peru. Fun fact.
- So fun.
289
00:12:32,231 --> 00:12:35,234
- Hey. Look who's here.
- Paul! Wow!
290
00:12:35,318 --> 00:12:36,444
- So good to see you.
- You, too.
291
00:12:36,528 --> 00:12:38,655
- Thank you for the invite.
- Is your hair different?
292
00:12:38,738 --> 00:12:40,156
- Uh, no.
- Lose some weight?
293
00:12:40,239 --> 00:12:41,616
- Nope.
- Gain some weight?
294
00:12:41,699 --> 00:12:43,117
I'm going to put these in water.
295
00:12:43,201 --> 00:12:44,911
- Come on, Paul.
- Yes, I will follow.
296
00:12:47,747 --> 00:12:49,040
I've never seen that boy before.
297
00:12:49,123 --> 00:12:50,583
- See?
- They've been together for months.
298
00:12:50,667 --> 00:12:52,335
- I think it's been a year.
- He's been to the house!
299
00:12:52,419 --> 00:12:53,420
I know!
300
00:12:53,503 --> 00:12:56,255
He's like a superhero, but his power
is that you can't remember him
301
00:12:56,339 --> 00:12:57,507
no matter how much time
you spend with him.
302
00:12:57,590 --> 00:12:59,592
Kind of like every Marvel movie ever.
303
00:13:00,343 --> 00:13:01,636
- Care for something to drink, Pete?
- Paul.
304
00:13:01,719 --> 00:13:02,887
Paul. I'm...
305
00:13:02,970 --> 00:13:05,932
Pete is our, uh, dog's friend.
Our dog's name is Paul.
306
00:13:06,015 --> 00:13:07,892
- Last name Anka.
- Weirdly close to my last name.
307
00:13:07,975 --> 00:13:10,853
- Right. Very close.
- This is all I could find.
308
00:13:10,937 --> 00:13:11,938
- That'll do.
- Okay.
309
00:13:12,021 --> 00:13:13,105
- Red okay...
- Paul.
310
00:13:13,189 --> 00:13:15,942
- I got it now. Paul, red, Paul?
- Red sounds good.
311
00:13:16,025 --> 00:13:17,652
- Oh, hey, Luke.
- Yeah.
312
00:13:17,735 --> 00:13:19,236
- I brought it.
- You...
313
00:13:19,321 --> 00:13:22,198
The antique wrench
we talked about the last time I was here.
314
00:13:22,281 --> 00:13:23,450
- Remember?
- Uh-huh.
315
00:13:23,533 --> 00:13:24,742
We went fishing on your boat.
316
00:13:24,826 --> 00:13:27,244
You told me your dad owned
a hardware store. Now it's a diner.
317
00:13:27,329 --> 00:13:29,331
I told you my grandfather
owned a hardware store
318
00:13:29,414 --> 00:13:30,582
and I kept all of his tools?
319
00:13:30,665 --> 00:13:31,749
I remember the boat.
320
00:13:31,833 --> 00:13:33,626
You said your dad
had a wrench that he loved
321
00:13:33,710 --> 00:13:34,836
and you wish you'd kept it.
322
00:13:34,919 --> 00:13:37,129
My grandfather also had one
that he loved and I did keep it.
323
00:13:37,213 --> 00:13:39,006
I'll go get it.
324
00:13:39,090 --> 00:13:41,300
I just forgot the entire conversation
we just had.
325
00:13:41,384 --> 00:13:43,010
Come on, guys.
326
00:13:43,094 --> 00:13:45,012
Thanks for inviting me over,
by the way.
327
00:13:45,096 --> 00:13:46,848
I don't get to see
a lot of Rory these days.
328
00:13:46,931 --> 00:13:49,851
At least I get to see her
for our anniversary, which is great.
329
00:13:49,934 --> 00:13:51,811
Can you believe it's two years?
330
00:13:51,894 --> 00:13:53,813
The cotton anniversary.
331
00:13:53,896 --> 00:13:56,441
Okay, I got it.
Here we go.
332
00:13:56,524 --> 00:13:59,694
Here it is.
Look at the, uh, date on the back.
333
00:14:00,403 --> 00:14:02,238
- Oh! And Lorelai...
- Huh?
334
00:14:03,155 --> 00:14:04,949
The virus protection software
I told you about.
335
00:14:05,032 --> 00:14:06,451
Want me to pop it on your computer?
336
00:14:06,534 --> 00:14:08,160
- Where is it? All right.
- Living room.
337
00:14:08,244 --> 00:14:10,455
It's got the Sadness stickers
from Inside Out on it?
338
00:14:10,538 --> 00:14:12,790
- You remembered.
- Okay.
339
00:14:13,750 --> 00:14:16,878
- It's nice that he remembered.
- It's nice that somebody remembered.
340
00:14:16,961 --> 00:14:18,588
This is a very nice wrench.
341
00:14:22,174 --> 00:14:24,552
- What the hell did you do here?
- What?
342
00:14:24,636 --> 00:14:26,471
The DVR is completely full.
343
00:14:26,554 --> 00:14:29,098
I have no idea
what any of these things are.
344
00:14:29,181 --> 00:14:31,601
Restless Virgins, Deadly Honeymoon...
345
00:14:31,684 --> 00:14:32,894
Lifetime Movie Channel classics.
346
00:14:32,977 --> 00:14:35,021
Killer Crush, Mini's First Time.
347
00:14:35,104 --> 00:14:37,815
A rebellious girl hooks up
with an escort agency
348
00:14:37,899 --> 00:14:40,943
where her stepfather is a client.
Alec Baldwin. Pre-yoga.
349
00:14:41,027 --> 00:14:42,278
- So, keep?
- Keep.
350
00:14:42,362 --> 00:14:44,447
- Okay. Accidental Obsession.
- Keep.
351
00:14:44,531 --> 00:14:46,073
- Murder in a College Town.
- Keep.
352
00:14:46,157 --> 00:14:47,283
- Crimes of the Mind.
- Keep!
353
00:14:47,367 --> 00:14:51,496
Fatal Acquittal, Not With My Daughter,
Baby Sellers, Unfinished Betrayal,
354
00:14:51,579 --> 00:14:53,915
The Girl He Met Online,
The Boy He Met Online,
355
00:14:53,998 --> 00:14:56,250
Deadly Vows, Lying Eyes, Lies He Told,
356
00:14:56,333 --> 00:14:57,585
My Nanny's Secret.
357
00:14:57,669 --> 00:14:59,837
Did the remote break?
Do we only get one channel now?
358
00:14:59,921 --> 00:15:01,798
- Where's my pajamas?
- In the drawer.
359
00:15:01,881 --> 00:15:03,508
- Ugh. Felix...
- Oscar...
360
00:15:03,591 --> 00:15:06,553
I like my pajamas on the chair,
all crinkled up and ready for bed,
361
00:15:06,636 --> 00:15:07,720
not suffocating in a drawer.
362
00:15:07,804 --> 00:15:09,305
Your pajamas are not puppies.
363
00:15:09,389 --> 00:15:11,474
You should find my bedtime rituals
endearing by now.
364
00:15:11,558 --> 00:15:12,725
What's taking you so long?
365
00:15:12,809 --> 00:15:15,186
You know, I still can't get over
that piece Rory wrote.
366
00:15:15,269 --> 00:15:18,272
Oh, really? 'Cause you've been
so stingy with your praise.
367
00:15:19,065 --> 00:15:20,357
Are those...
368
00:15:20,442 --> 00:15:22,318
- Puppies!
- Right.
369
00:15:25,279 --> 00:15:28,365
- That is one great kid you got.
- Eh, she's all right.
370
00:15:28,449 --> 00:15:30,993
She's freaked out she's gonna hear
our rollicking lovemaking.
371
00:15:31,077 --> 00:15:35,289
- What are you doing?
- Organizing my magazines by Kardashian.
372
00:15:35,372 --> 00:15:37,374
- You're stalling.
- I'm organizing.
373
00:15:37,459 --> 00:15:39,376
You're not going
to have your dream tonight.
374
00:15:39,461 --> 00:15:42,129
My dirty bathroom dream?
Yes, I am.
375
00:15:42,213 --> 00:15:43,631
Just come to bed!
376
00:15:43,715 --> 00:15:45,633
Five nights in a row.
Five nights in a row!
377
00:15:45,717 --> 00:15:48,219
I'm looking for a bathroom
and then I find one
378
00:15:48,302 --> 00:15:50,430
and it's like the Eastern Promises
steam room scene,
379
00:15:50,513 --> 00:15:52,348
only the stuff on the walls ain't blood.
380
00:15:52,432 --> 00:15:55,226
- Don't think about it.
- The bathrooms are all giant.
381
00:15:55,309 --> 00:15:57,269
There's stalls
and urinals, urinals, urinals...
382
00:15:57,353 --> 00:15:58,270
It's a dream!
383
00:15:58,354 --> 00:16:00,815
Last night, it was the bathroom
at the Radio City Music Hall.
384
00:16:00,898 --> 00:16:02,150
- The Rockettes were there.
- Okay.
385
00:16:02,233 --> 00:16:03,901
- They kept slipping.
- I got it.
386
00:16:03,985 --> 00:16:05,528
Let's just sleep standing up like cows.
387
00:16:05,612 --> 00:16:08,531
You come to bed, you can watch
one of these ridiculous movies.
388
00:16:08,615 --> 00:16:10,199
- All the way through?
- Yes.
389
00:16:10,282 --> 00:16:13,369
You won't turn it off
when the suspicious sister, co-worker,
390
00:16:13,453 --> 00:16:16,539
or gay best friend investigates
the abandoned cabin by the lake
391
00:16:16,622 --> 00:16:18,541
where they find proof
to expose the killer
392
00:16:18,624 --> 00:16:20,376
and they get hit in the head
with a hammer?
393
00:16:20,460 --> 00:16:22,629
- Nope.
- Rory will think we're rollicking.
394
00:16:22,712 --> 00:16:24,421
Well, no one ever said she was dumb.
395
00:16:28,468 --> 00:16:30,970
The deal for $49 billion
or about $95 per...
396
00:16:32,138 --> 00:16:33,640
Don't touch the handle!
397
00:16:33,723 --> 00:16:35,057
...boards have approved the deal
398
00:16:35,141 --> 00:16:37,852
and now begin
the long regulatory process that follows.
399
00:16:37,935 --> 00:16:39,729
All of this...
400
00:16:48,571 --> 00:16:51,282
...four, five, six, seven, eight.
401
00:16:51,365 --> 00:16:54,577
Repeat from the top.
A five, six, seven, eight...
402
00:16:54,661 --> 00:16:58,498
Shuffle, a three,
a five, a seven and a flap.
403
00:16:58,581 --> 00:17:01,668
Flap, flap, ball change,
flap, flap, flap, again.
404
00:17:01,751 --> 00:17:03,628
Shuffle! A three!
405
00:17:03,711 --> 00:17:04,837
Too loud?
406
00:17:04,921 --> 00:17:07,549
- No. Just loud enough.
- Ball change...
407
00:17:07,632 --> 00:17:09,884
- What you doing?
- Stress tap dancing.
408
00:17:09,967 --> 00:17:12,094
Helps get out my anxieties.
Keeps me calm.
409
00:17:12,178 --> 00:17:14,514
How long have you been
tapping your troubles away?
410
00:17:14,597 --> 00:17:17,016
About a month.
I needed something to shut my brain off.
411
00:17:17,099 --> 00:17:19,227
I tried meditation. Tried jogging.
412
00:17:19,310 --> 00:17:22,021
Then I read about this.
Now, when I can't sleep,
413
00:17:22,104 --> 00:17:23,648
- I get up and tap!
- Cool.
414
00:17:24,566 --> 00:17:26,483
- You know you're terrible.
- Yeah, I know.
415
00:17:26,568 --> 00:17:27,860
Six, seven and shuffle!
416
00:17:27,944 --> 00:17:29,195
- Where are you going?
- Nowhere.
417
00:17:29,278 --> 00:17:31,405
- Do not get your phone.
- What are you talking about?
418
00:17:31,488 --> 00:17:33,616
- Do not film this.
- I'm checking on Paul Anka.
419
00:17:33,700 --> 00:17:34,951
Dance numbers terrify him.
420
00:17:35,034 --> 00:17:38,120
This is my stress relief.
Do not make my stress relief stressful!
421
00:17:38,204 --> 00:17:39,622
- Damn it. Where is it?
- I hid it.
422
00:17:39,706 --> 00:17:41,415
You are awful.
423
00:17:41,498 --> 00:17:43,459
You think I don't know you?
I have your eyes.
424
00:17:43,543 --> 00:17:45,002
- Fine.
- You want some coffee?
425
00:17:45,086 --> 00:17:47,672
- Yes, please.
- You sure I didn't wake you up?
426
00:17:47,755 --> 00:17:49,716
Not unless you were dressed
like a urinal cake.
427
00:17:50,633 --> 00:17:51,884
You hungry?
428
00:17:51,968 --> 00:17:54,637
- 'Cause you said "cake"?
- Yes.
429
00:17:54,721 --> 00:17:55,888
Kind of.
430
00:18:01,853 --> 00:18:04,396
- It's so nice to have you home.
- I wish you were sleeping.
431
00:18:04,480 --> 00:18:07,650
- I wish you were sleeping.
- Well, I have a lot on my mind.
432
00:18:07,734 --> 00:18:10,069
- My piece for the Atlantic fell through.
- No! When?
433
00:18:10,152 --> 00:18:13,030
- Today. That was the call that I got.
- Why?
434
00:18:13,114 --> 00:18:15,366
They just bumped it for other stuff.
It happens.
435
00:18:15,449 --> 00:18:16,701
Sorry.
436
00:18:16,784 --> 00:18:19,161
It's okay.
I have a lot of irons in the fire.
437
00:18:19,245 --> 00:18:22,331
I'm still getting a lot of good responses
from the New Yorker piece so...
438
00:18:22,414 --> 00:18:24,876
Did I tell you
that I attacked Gail Collins?
439
00:18:24,959 --> 00:18:27,503
- You did not.
- I was in the lobby of the Times Building,
440
00:18:27,587 --> 00:18:31,215
hoping to talk to the metro editor.
Suddenly, Gail Collins walks in.
441
00:18:31,298 --> 00:18:33,550
I had met her once
at the 92nd Street Y.
442
00:18:33,635 --> 00:18:36,220
I wasn't expecting to see her
and I was jacked up on coffee
443
00:18:36,303 --> 00:18:38,347
and I just lunged at her,
444
00:18:38,430 --> 00:18:40,808
which she interpreted
as a stranger lunging at her.
445
00:18:40,892 --> 00:18:42,559
- So sensitive.
- I felt so stupid.
446
00:18:42,644 --> 00:18:44,145
She was freaking out.
She gave me her wallet.
447
00:18:44,228 --> 00:18:46,773
- Did you keep it?
- No.
448
00:18:46,856 --> 00:18:48,941
But, I don't know,
she was really nice about it.
449
00:18:49,025 --> 00:18:52,319
She realized who I was and asked
the security guards to get off me.
450
00:18:52,403 --> 00:18:56,115
Well, here's the upside.
You definitely made an impression.
451
00:18:56,198 --> 00:18:58,660
It's okay.
I have a lot of irons in the fire.
452
00:18:58,743 --> 00:19:00,202
I heard.
You should become a blacksmith.
453
00:19:00,286 --> 00:19:01,954
What about you?
454
00:19:02,038 --> 00:19:05,291
- Mmm... what about me?
- Are you having the dreams again?
455
00:19:05,374 --> 00:19:09,586
I'm just stressed out
and kind of feeling my mortality lately.
456
00:19:09,671 --> 00:19:12,214
- What do you mean?
- The other day, a guest left a brochure
457
00:19:12,298 --> 00:19:13,590
in their room after they checked out.
458
00:19:13,675 --> 00:19:16,678
It was for Anthem of the Seas.
So I'm flipping through,
459
00:19:16,761 --> 00:19:19,681
looking at swimming pools
and pictures of the buffet.
460
00:19:19,764 --> 00:19:23,100
Everything's planned
and they have Wi-Fi and Rock of Ages
461
00:19:23,184 --> 00:19:25,978
and you don't have to bring money.
I found myself thinking...
462
00:19:26,062 --> 00:19:27,980
- No.
- maybe it would be nice
463
00:19:28,064 --> 00:19:29,148
to take a cruise!
464
00:19:29,231 --> 00:19:30,942
- No!
- And then I broke a hip.
465
00:19:31,025 --> 00:19:33,194
- You are not going on a cruise.
- I know.
466
00:19:33,277 --> 00:19:36,656
- Is everything okay with Luke?
- Yeah, everything's fine.
467
00:19:36,739 --> 00:19:39,533
I annoy him and he builds cabinets.
Or that's what I think.
468
00:19:39,616 --> 00:19:41,077
He says we need the storage.
469
00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:43,412
Do you think it's because of Grandpa?
470
00:19:44,163 --> 00:19:45,706
My sudden need to cruise?
471
00:19:46,708 --> 00:19:48,710
- Yeah.
- No.
472
00:19:48,793 --> 00:19:51,462
I don't know.
Maybe.
473
00:19:52,504 --> 00:19:53,505
I miss him.
474
00:19:58,761 --> 00:20:00,387
To absent friends.
475
00:20:00,971 --> 00:20:02,515
To absent friends.
476
00:20:04,225 --> 00:20:06,852
People might say drinking coffee
in the middle of the night
477
00:20:06,936 --> 00:20:08,104
could hinder your sleep.
478
00:20:08,187 --> 00:20:09,563
People are dumb.
479
00:20:28,958 --> 00:20:30,668
Caesar, let's go! Where's my toast?
480
00:20:30,752 --> 00:20:32,044
- Toaster's down.
- What?
481
00:20:32,128 --> 00:20:34,839
Oh, wait, it's just unplugged.
Toast coming right up.
482
00:20:35,547 --> 00:20:38,843
Over easy, scrambled soft,
whites with cheese. Coffee?
483
00:20:38,926 --> 00:20:40,052
What's the Wi-Fi password?
484
00:20:40,136 --> 00:20:42,764
- Dinerluke. Capital "D," small "L."
- Pick up!
485
00:20:42,847 --> 00:20:46,600
Luke, I need to talk to you
about your septic tank testimonial.
486
00:20:46,683 --> 00:20:49,061
I'm not giving you
a septic tank testimonial, Taylor.
487
00:20:49,145 --> 00:20:51,022
If you're confused by what I need,
488
00:20:51,105 --> 00:20:53,733
I brought some sample testimonials
to guide you.
489
00:20:53,816 --> 00:20:56,402
I think you'll find
Mimsy Frupp's description
490
00:20:56,485 --> 00:20:58,612
of her granddaughter's disastrous day
491
00:20:58,695 --> 00:21:01,698
jumping into fall leaves
especially edifying.
492
00:21:01,783 --> 00:21:05,536
She thought the tyke was diving
into an autumnal paradise.
493
00:21:05,619 --> 00:21:07,872
Instead she found herself submerged...
494
00:21:07,955 --> 00:21:10,750
- Taylor, order something or get out.
- Fine.
495
00:21:11,667 --> 00:21:13,794
New menu. I'll need a minute.
496
00:21:13,878 --> 00:21:15,212
Excuse me. Password?
497
00:21:15,296 --> 00:21:17,339
DINERDANES321. All caps.
498
00:21:17,423 --> 00:21:19,801
- Hey, there she is! Get in here!
- What about me?
499
00:21:19,884 --> 00:21:21,343
Ah, you get in here, too.
500
00:21:21,427 --> 00:21:23,345
- Should I be nervous?
- As a rule, yes.
501
00:21:23,429 --> 00:21:26,307
Okay. Something I want you to see.
502
00:21:26,390 --> 00:21:28,309
New menus.
503
00:21:28,392 --> 00:21:29,769
Very nice.
504
00:21:29,852 --> 00:21:32,021
- Notice anything?
- Oh... nope.
505
00:21:32,104 --> 00:21:33,022
Turn it over.
506
00:21:34,941 --> 00:21:38,235
- That's my New Yorker piece. Wow!
- Super-proud!
507
00:21:38,319 --> 00:21:39,862
For everyone to read.
508
00:21:39,946 --> 00:21:41,948
- Now what can I get you?
- Coffee, please.
509
00:21:42,031 --> 00:21:45,242
- I have a list and I need it all to go.
- You got it.
510
00:21:46,994 --> 00:21:50,122
- That's my piece.
- Wrapped in plastic.
511
00:21:50,206 --> 00:21:52,541
You knew when Luke moved in with me
he'd turn weird.
512
00:21:52,624 --> 00:21:56,170
Thanks for your patronage!
Be sure to call my mom and rate me!
513
00:21:56,253 --> 00:21:58,339
Five stars is appreciated!
514
00:21:59,841 --> 00:22:01,884
First official fare!
515
00:22:01,968 --> 00:22:04,761
That elderly woman
that I successfully drove here?
516
00:22:04,846 --> 00:22:08,850
That is widow Joy Puddleston
from 88 Peach Tree Drive.
517
00:22:08,933 --> 00:22:11,185
Right now,
thanks to my new business,
518
00:22:11,268 --> 00:22:14,688
Widow Puddleston
is only ten minutes late for chemo!
519
00:22:14,771 --> 00:22:15,772
Are you ordering?
520
00:22:15,857 --> 00:22:18,484
Fudgy banana milkshake.
I am flying, man!
521
00:22:18,567 --> 00:22:20,194
- This is gonna work.
- Terrific.
522
00:22:20,277 --> 00:22:23,531
- This area over here would be perfect.
- Perfect for what, Kirk?
523
00:22:23,614 --> 00:22:26,408
Have you heard about
my new business, Luke? Ööö-ber?
524
00:22:26,492 --> 00:22:27,493
Do not make that sound!
525
00:22:27,576 --> 00:22:31,539
I need to find a place where,
after people call, they can get picked up.
526
00:22:31,622 --> 00:22:34,500
- This corner would work.
- That's not how Uber works.
527
00:22:34,583 --> 00:22:36,293
Well, this isn't Uber, this is...
528
00:22:37,253 --> 00:22:40,131
Luke, you need to control your woman.
529
00:22:40,214 --> 00:22:41,798
Oh!
530
00:22:42,424 --> 00:22:43,800
Those aren't even your bagels!
531
00:22:43,885 --> 00:22:45,552
I'm buying them new ones.
532
00:22:47,388 --> 00:22:49,515
Oh, crap! I forgot about Paul?
533
00:22:49,598 --> 00:22:52,018
You're kidding!
He was at the house this whole time?
534
00:22:52,101 --> 00:22:54,645
- Didn't you notice his car out front?
- No, didn't you?
535
00:22:54,728 --> 00:22:56,438
There you are.
536
00:22:56,522 --> 00:22:58,315
Hi, Paul.
I'm so sorry, I just...
537
00:22:58,399 --> 00:23:01,402
It was my fault. I needed her
to come look at something with me.
538
00:23:01,485 --> 00:23:04,280
I forgot to leave you a note.
And it's...
539
00:23:04,363 --> 00:23:07,491
- I was about to call you. Are you hungry?
- Not really.
540
00:23:07,574 --> 00:23:09,618
- Not really?
- I'm not a breakfast person.
541
00:23:09,701 --> 00:23:11,162
As in, you already had breakfast?
542
00:23:11,245 --> 00:23:12,871
- No.
- Did you know about this?
543
00:23:12,955 --> 00:23:14,498
I'm gonna wash my hands.
Order me a tea?
544
00:23:14,581 --> 00:23:15,707
- Tea? No.
- Yes.
545
00:23:15,791 --> 00:23:16,959
- Go on.
- Okay.
546
00:23:18,544 --> 00:23:22,173
- You have got to cut that poor boy loose.
- I keep meaning to and I keep...
547
00:23:22,256 --> 00:23:24,050
- Forgetting!
- So, so sad!
548
00:23:24,133 --> 00:23:27,928
Your breakfast list, coffee to go.
Have a good flight. Come back soon.
549
00:23:28,012 --> 00:23:30,389
- And take a menu.
- Thanks, Luke.
550
00:23:34,226 --> 00:23:35,978
- Bye.
- Bye.
551
00:23:48,991 --> 00:23:51,702
Crap, crap, crap! Ooh!
552
00:23:53,204 --> 00:23:54,746
- Hey, got the food.
- Ready to go?
553
00:23:54,830 --> 00:23:56,498
Absolutely.
554
00:23:59,961 --> 00:24:01,462
I just don't understand it.
555
00:24:01,545 --> 00:24:02,838
Before we got married,
556
00:24:02,921 --> 00:24:05,257
Frederick was more indifferent
to children than I am.
557
00:24:05,341 --> 00:24:06,925
- That's not possible.
- Oh, yes.
558
00:24:07,009 --> 00:24:08,302
We could be walking by the well
559
00:24:08,385 --> 00:24:10,679
that Timmy fell down
and he'd throw a penny in.
560
00:24:10,762 --> 00:24:14,475
- Maybe he kept his feelings to himself.
- For five years? No.
561
00:24:14,558 --> 00:24:15,934
Something happened.
562
00:24:16,018 --> 00:24:19,105
Twenty minutes after "I do,"
he lost his mind.
563
00:24:19,188 --> 00:24:21,398
Now all he talks about is,
"Guess who's pregnant?"
564
00:24:21,482 --> 00:24:23,317
or "What school district is it in?
565
00:24:23,400 --> 00:24:25,319
You have to live
in a good school district."
566
00:24:25,402 --> 00:24:28,280
And I say, "Why?
Isn't that what boarding school is for?
567
00:24:28,364 --> 00:24:30,491
So you don't have to live
in a good school district?"
568
00:24:30,574 --> 00:24:32,618
I don't think
that's what boarding school's for.
569
00:24:32,701 --> 00:24:34,370
Well, it's very mystifying.
570
00:24:34,453 --> 00:24:36,580
He keeps shoving children in my arms.
571
00:24:36,664 --> 00:24:38,499
"Hold this. What do you feel?"
572
00:24:38,582 --> 00:24:41,835
"Well, now there's spittle
on my Brioni suit so, rage?"
573
00:24:41,918 --> 00:24:45,506
- Why does it smell like onions?
- The new pop-up crew in the kitchen.
574
00:24:45,589 --> 00:24:48,342
- That's tonight?
- Yes, that's tonight.
575
00:24:48,425 --> 00:24:51,720
- I hate this pop-up idea.
- We have an empty dining room and kitchen.
576
00:24:51,803 --> 00:24:53,972
- What do you propose we do?
- Put on a show?
577
00:24:54,056 --> 00:24:57,184
We live in a town
where every restaurant closes at 4:45.
578
00:24:57,268 --> 00:24:58,269
People need to eat.
579
00:24:58,352 --> 00:25:01,313
- What's this new chef guy's name again?
- Oh, come on.
580
00:25:01,397 --> 00:25:04,108
I can't remember.
It's like a million syllables long.
581
00:25:04,191 --> 00:25:05,692
Roy Choi.
582
00:25:05,776 --> 00:25:07,819
- The food truck guy.
- He's not a food truck guy.
583
00:25:07,903 --> 00:25:09,196
He's a guy with a food truck.
584
00:25:09,280 --> 00:25:13,409
A fleet of food trucks, three restaurants
and a massive online following.
585
00:25:13,492 --> 00:25:15,327
Oh, so he tweets? He's a tweeter?
586
00:25:15,411 --> 00:25:19,206
"Hey, kids. Come grab some rad food
at the Dragonfly."
587
00:25:19,290 --> 00:25:20,707
Do you even know how Twitter works?
588
00:25:20,791 --> 00:25:23,627
- Oh, he's cool, right?
- Yes, he seems cool.
589
00:25:23,710 --> 00:25:25,796
I hate cool.
Makes me feel so uncool.
590
00:25:25,879 --> 00:25:30,759
I don't need some cool guy tweeting,
making me feel uncool in my own inn.
591
00:25:30,842 --> 00:25:34,012
Why on earth aren't you on Xanax?
It was invented for you.
592
00:25:34,096 --> 00:25:35,931
What's that "Kogi" tattoo
on his arm about?
593
00:25:36,014 --> 00:25:37,474
Kogi is the name of his business.
594
00:25:37,558 --> 00:25:40,061
So the tattoo, while not
as clever as "Wino Forever,"
595
00:25:40,144 --> 00:25:41,812
is at least thematically correct.
596
00:25:41,895 --> 00:25:45,023
- We should hire a regular chef.
- We should, shouldn't we?
597
00:25:45,107 --> 00:25:47,068
- How long is this pop-up thing?
- Two weeks.
598
00:25:47,151 --> 00:25:48,277
- Can it be less?
- No.
599
00:25:48,360 --> 00:25:50,862
- I'd like it to be less.
- I don't need a child. I have you.
600
00:25:53,240 --> 00:25:55,867
Great. He's gonna
set the whole place on fire.
601
00:25:55,951 --> 00:25:57,911
- Oh, hey, Lorelai.
- Hey.
602
00:25:57,994 --> 00:26:00,331
This kitchen's awesome.
Sookie set it up perfectly.
603
00:26:00,414 --> 00:26:01,957
Yes, well, Sookie's a genius.
604
00:26:02,040 --> 00:26:03,625
- What is all this?
- You like abalone?
605
00:26:03,709 --> 00:26:07,171
- Is this a trick question?
- No. Abalone is delicious.
606
00:26:07,254 --> 00:26:10,216
I'm doing a green pea congee
with fried shallots, spring onions,
607
00:26:10,299 --> 00:26:13,594
cilantro, chili oil and abalone.
Oh, I meant to ask.
608
00:26:13,677 --> 00:26:15,887
Can I screw with the dining room?
Make it less granny?
609
00:26:15,971 --> 00:26:17,556
- Uh, no.
- Problem. No problem.
610
00:26:17,639 --> 00:26:19,349
De-granny the place.
611
00:26:19,433 --> 00:26:22,394
Go nuts. I hated my grandmother.
Horrible woman.
612
00:26:22,478 --> 00:26:25,647
But we are thrilled that you are here.
And she's not.
613
00:26:25,731 --> 00:26:27,816
All right, come on, you guys. Let's go.
614
00:26:27,899 --> 00:26:29,360
Thank you.
615
00:26:29,443 --> 00:26:32,904
Abalone! Yay!
616
00:26:34,156 --> 00:26:35,366
Will you relax, please?
617
00:26:35,449 --> 00:26:37,993
Between you and Frederick,
I'm going to have a stroke.
618
00:26:38,076 --> 00:26:39,661
- Where is it?
- What?
619
00:26:39,745 --> 00:26:41,663
The coffeemaker.
Where is the coffeemaker?
620
00:26:41,747 --> 00:26:43,707
- Uh...
- It was right here yesterday!
621
00:26:43,790 --> 00:26:46,793
- It was right here! Roy!
- Uh, I... Wait...
622
00:26:46,877 --> 00:26:51,257
Roy! Um, Roy?
Where's the coffee machine?
623
00:26:51,340 --> 00:26:54,510
I moved it. I needed counter space.
Eduardo can make you a coffee.
624
00:26:54,593 --> 00:26:57,221
- How? Is Eduardo magic?
- He makes a stovetop version...
625
00:26:57,304 --> 00:26:58,347
- Eh, eh.
- It really is...
626
00:26:58,430 --> 00:26:59,931
- Eh, eh, eh, eh.
- I can move it back.
627
00:27:00,015 --> 00:27:01,933
I am so sorry,
but this isn't gonna to work.
628
00:27:02,017 --> 00:27:03,059
- Michel!
- I'm right here.
629
00:27:03,144 --> 00:27:07,105
Oh, sorry. Uh, Michel, call over
to Momo's and see if they can accommodate
630
00:27:07,189 --> 00:27:09,566
a crazy cool congee extravaganza.
631
00:27:09,650 --> 00:27:11,777
Thank you. It's been a pleasure.
632
00:27:11,860 --> 00:27:15,572
Louis here is gonna walk you over
to Momo's Tires and get you settled.
633
00:27:15,656 --> 00:27:18,742
- Wait, it's a tire store?
- Buh-bye. Thank you.
634
00:27:20,202 --> 00:27:21,245
What, Michel?
635
00:27:21,328 --> 00:27:23,914
At least you were nicer
than you were to Anthony Bourdain.
636
00:27:23,997 --> 00:27:25,416
Bourdain parked in Sookie's spot.
637
00:27:25,499 --> 00:27:28,627
Now once again,
we have an empty kitchen.
638
00:27:28,710 --> 00:27:29,795
We will find a full-time chef.
639
00:27:29,878 --> 00:27:30,921
- No, we won't.
- Yes, we will.
640
00:27:31,004 --> 00:27:32,214
You think no one can cook like her.
641
00:27:32,298 --> 00:27:33,799
- No one can.
- April Bloomfield?
642
00:27:33,882 --> 00:27:35,050
- Too much pork.
- Alice Waters.
643
00:27:35,133 --> 00:27:37,093
- Little flighty.
- David Chang?
644
00:27:37,178 --> 00:27:38,679
Al's does the same thing.
645
00:27:38,762 --> 00:27:41,432
Al's Pancake World does not do
the same thing as David Chang.
646
00:27:41,515 --> 00:27:43,975
- It has to be right.
- You miss her? Fine. I don't.
647
00:27:44,059 --> 00:27:46,019
- She abandoned us.
- She did not abandon us.
648
00:27:46,102 --> 00:27:48,272
A six month sabbatical.
That's what she said.
649
00:27:48,355 --> 00:27:50,023
She was going to clear her head,
650
00:27:50,107 --> 00:27:51,859
come up with new recipes
and then be back.
651
00:27:51,942 --> 00:27:55,320
- Well, that was a year ago.
- What can I say? She found a calling.
652
00:27:55,404 --> 00:27:57,364
- Really. What's her calling?
- Michel.
653
00:27:57,448 --> 00:28:00,201
I'm curious.
Describe what she's doing up in the woods?
654
00:28:00,284 --> 00:28:02,453
She's working with Dan Barber
at Blue Hill Farm.
655
00:28:02,536 --> 00:28:03,537
Doing?
656
00:28:03,620 --> 00:28:05,831
She is helping him develop
food-growing techniques
657
00:28:05,914 --> 00:28:08,459
and cultivating
the evolution of fruits and vegetables,
658
00:28:08,542 --> 00:28:11,462
which helps the people who eat them and...
659
00:28:11,545 --> 00:28:14,298
I don't know. They're saving the world.
It's on the website.
660
00:28:14,381 --> 00:28:17,050
No, she's squatting in a cabin
with no phone service,
661
00:28:17,133 --> 00:28:19,261
trying to grow a pineapple
out of a coat rack!
662
00:28:19,345 --> 00:28:20,929
She's not saving the world.
663
00:28:21,012 --> 00:28:23,390
She just found a way
to never shave her legs again.
664
00:28:23,474 --> 00:28:24,725
Ooh! Hi, Gypsy!
665
00:28:24,808 --> 00:28:26,768
- I have good news.
- Great! What?
666
00:28:26,852 --> 00:28:29,646
Oh, Lorelai.
Damn, I dialed the wrong number.
667
00:28:29,730 --> 00:28:32,316
- I'll call you back.
- Wait! When can I get my car?
668
00:28:32,399 --> 00:28:35,902
I'm waiting for a part.
It's coming in a DeLorean from 1983.
669
00:28:35,986 --> 00:28:38,822
- I have to go to Hartford tonight.
- I don't know what to tell you.
670
00:28:38,905 --> 00:28:41,742
Oh, wait, yes I do.
Buy a new car.
671
00:28:41,825 --> 00:28:43,494
- Thanks. Great.
- I hate this one.
672
00:28:43,577 --> 00:28:45,036
- It's very old.
- I got it.
673
00:28:45,120 --> 00:28:47,748
- But it's fun to kick.
- Bye, Gypsy.
674
00:28:54,129 --> 00:28:55,923
Hi, Mrs. Gleason?
675
00:28:57,090 --> 00:28:59,260
Hey, Kirk?
It's freezing back here.
676
00:28:59,343 --> 00:29:01,887
Oh, that's probably because
I vented the floor.
677
00:29:01,970 --> 00:29:03,389
- Pardon?
- The floor.
678
00:29:03,472 --> 00:29:05,599
I drilled a few holes in the floor.
679
00:29:06,350 --> 00:29:08,560
Was there an explanation with that or...
680
00:29:08,644 --> 00:29:10,687
Two customers passed out last week.
681
00:29:10,771 --> 00:29:13,607
They were old, so it could've just been
old people passing out.
682
00:29:13,690 --> 00:29:16,860
Or carbon monoxide.
I just thought better safe than sorry.
683
00:29:17,778 --> 00:29:20,405
- Would you like some water?
- Yes. That would be nice.
684
00:29:22,032 --> 00:29:23,409
Here, could you...
685
00:29:23,492 --> 00:29:26,745
- Oh, uh, okay.
- And how about some music?
686
00:29:26,828 --> 00:29:31,166
The radio was stolen, but I'm happy
to sing any song you request...
687
00:29:31,250 --> 00:29:32,751
as long as it's by the Carpenters.
688
00:29:32,834 --> 00:29:35,587
- How about something by the Carpenters?
- Good choice.
689
00:29:36,880 --> 00:29:40,801
♪ Such a feeling's coming over me ♪
690
00:29:40,884 --> 00:29:45,306
♪ There is wonder
In most everything I see ♪
691
00:29:45,389 --> 00:29:47,599
♪ Not a cloud in the sky ♪
692
00:29:47,683 --> 00:29:50,018
♪ Now the sun is in my eye ♪
693
00:29:50,102 --> 00:29:54,564
♪ And I won't be surprised
If it's a dream ♪
694
00:30:12,040 --> 00:30:14,042
Uh, well, thanks, Kirk.
695
00:30:14,125 --> 00:30:15,711
I'm not there yet.
696
00:30:18,129 --> 00:30:20,924
- You know, I think I'm okay.
- It's door-to-door service.
697
00:30:21,007 --> 00:30:24,678
- Well, I won't tell if you don't.
- I still have to charge the same price.
698
00:30:24,761 --> 00:30:27,431
That's fine, Kirk.
699
00:30:28,474 --> 00:30:30,851
- You have arrived!
- Bye, Kirk.
700
00:30:36,398 --> 00:30:37,858
Oh, hola! Hello.
701
00:30:37,941 --> 00:30:40,861
Hi. Um, uh, I'm Lorelai.
702
00:30:40,944 --> 00:30:42,112
Emily's, um...
703
00:30:44,323 --> 00:30:46,408
No, no, no.
I don't think Rory's here yet.
704
00:30:47,576 --> 00:30:51,121
Um, my, uh, daughter, that's...
That's her.
705
00:30:51,204 --> 00:30:52,956
Ah!
706
00:30:53,039 --> 00:30:55,334
She's not and I'm not gonna be
flying solo tonight,
707
00:30:55,417 --> 00:30:56,960
- so I'm gonna wait outside.
- Oh!
708
00:30:57,043 --> 00:30:59,505
But don't say anything to, uh,
Mrs. Gilmore.
709
00:30:59,588 --> 00:31:01,465
- Oh.
- Okay? Shh. Shh.
710
00:31:01,548 --> 00:31:03,008
- Okay.
- Okay. Thank you.
711
00:31:03,091 --> 00:31:04,635
Oh...
712
00:31:06,595 --> 00:31:07,888
Oh, thank God!
713
00:31:09,264 --> 00:31:11,725
Hey, you promised
you'd be here right at 7:00.
714
00:31:11,808 --> 00:31:13,519
- It's 7:05.
- Apology accepted.
715
00:31:13,602 --> 00:31:16,104
- Why are you out here? It's freezing.
- 'Cause we're a team.
716
00:31:16,187 --> 00:31:17,939
Would Dean Martin go in
without Jerry Lewis?
717
00:31:18,023 --> 00:31:19,733
No, but Jerry Lewis
would go in without Dean.
718
00:31:19,816 --> 00:31:20,901
Am I Jerry Lewis?
719
00:31:20,984 --> 00:31:22,778
- I'm ringing the doorbell.
- Why am I Jerry Lewis?
720
00:31:22,861 --> 00:31:24,446
I don't need to answer that.
721
00:31:24,530 --> 00:31:26,239
Hmm. Hi, here's Rory.
722
00:31:26,322 --> 00:31:28,367
Ah!
723
00:31:28,450 --> 00:31:29,785
Right.
724
00:31:30,369 --> 00:31:34,456
Rory, there you are.
It is so good to see you.
725
00:31:34,540 --> 00:31:37,042
Hi, Grandma. It's so good to see you.
How are you?
726
00:31:37,125 --> 00:31:38,919
Well, I am a Gilmore.
727
00:31:39,002 --> 00:31:42,673
My goodness, you look absolutely radiant.
728
00:31:42,756 --> 00:31:45,467
Well, she is a Gilmore.
And 32, which helps.
729
00:31:45,551 --> 00:31:48,094
- I think you must be in love.
- Hi, Mom.
730
00:31:48,178 --> 00:31:50,972
Don't track mud in here.
I had the floors waxed.
731
00:31:51,056 --> 00:31:52,391
You and I had a better rapport.
732
00:31:52,474 --> 00:31:54,976
Excuse me, Mrs. Gilmore.
733
00:31:55,060 --> 00:31:58,939
Oh, good, good. In here.
I need light bulbs.
734
00:31:59,022 --> 00:32:00,774
This, there.
You see...
735
00:32:00,857 --> 00:32:02,108
- There and there.
- Ah.
736
00:32:02,192 --> 00:32:04,736
- The bulbs... the bulbs are out.
- Hmm.
737
00:32:04,820 --> 00:32:05,946
- No problem.
- Yeah?
738
00:32:06,029 --> 00:32:08,907
And now... And in here...
739
00:32:08,990 --> 00:32:10,116
that sconce...
740
00:32:10,200 --> 00:32:13,870
and then over the picture, the light.
Over here, the picture...
741
00:32:13,954 --> 00:32:16,957
The... the lights over the picture?
Yes?
742
00:32:17,040 --> 00:32:18,375
Did you get a new handyman, Mom?
743
00:32:20,252 --> 00:32:22,587
- Cyrano?
- Grandma, did you hire a new handyman?
744
00:32:22,671 --> 00:32:24,172
Yes. That's Alejandro.
745
00:32:24,255 --> 00:32:27,383
He's Berta's husband and he's amazing.
He can fix anything.
746
00:32:27,468 --> 00:32:29,595
I'm usually wary about hiring husbands.
747
00:32:29,678 --> 00:32:31,888
I hired a maid once whose husband
was a gardener.
748
00:32:31,972 --> 00:32:35,350
He got angry with her one day
and decapitated one of my topiaries.
749
00:32:35,434 --> 00:32:38,645
Hmm. Was it the one of Spiro Agnew?
750
00:32:40,689 --> 00:32:42,190
- Ask her, ask her.
- Uh, Grandma...
751
00:32:42,273 --> 00:32:44,400
just wondering...
Who are the kids?
752
00:32:44,485 --> 00:32:47,863
- Oh, they're Berta's children, I think.
- You think?
753
00:32:47,946 --> 00:32:50,699
They appeared when she did,
so I put two and two together.
754
00:32:50,782 --> 00:32:52,868
You have an entire family in your house
755
00:32:52,951 --> 00:32:54,870
and you're not sure
if they're actually a family?
756
00:32:54,953 --> 00:32:56,329
So what, Lorelai?
757
00:32:56,412 --> 00:32:58,832
I have a house.
They needed a place to live.
758
00:32:58,915 --> 00:33:00,500
They work for me. Problem?
759
00:33:00,584 --> 00:33:02,461
No. Yes. All good. You're right.
760
00:33:02,544 --> 00:33:06,965
Let's go sit and have martinis.
You can tell me all about this new boy.
761
00:33:07,048 --> 00:33:10,636
Well, he's not new.
We've been going out about two years.
762
00:33:10,719 --> 00:33:12,846
- Really? I must meet him.
- Oh, you did.
763
00:33:12,929 --> 00:33:14,890
Really? I'm sorry.
I'll meet him again.
764
00:33:14,973 --> 00:33:17,017
- Won't matter.
- Come sit.
765
00:33:17,100 --> 00:33:18,769
What?
766
00:33:21,522 --> 00:33:23,815
- Uh, Mom?
- Yes?
767
00:33:25,316 --> 00:33:27,152
- Um...
- Oh, yes.
768
00:33:27,235 --> 00:33:28,653
Isn't it wonderful?
769
00:33:30,989 --> 00:33:31,990
It's...
770
00:33:32,073 --> 00:33:34,325
It's... it's...
771
00:33:34,409 --> 00:33:35,619
It's...
772
00:33:36,411 --> 00:33:37,496
The whole wall!
773
00:33:37,579 --> 00:33:40,248
I had it painted
from one of my favorite pictures of him.
774
00:33:40,331 --> 00:33:41,875
- Do you like it?
- Yes.
775
00:33:41,958 --> 00:33:43,126
Sure.
776
00:33:44,544 --> 00:33:49,132
It's so... big.
777
00:33:49,633 --> 00:33:53,428
It's a Marco Toretti.
His specialty is large canvases.
778
00:33:53,512 --> 00:33:55,597
Well, he did himself proud.
779
00:33:56,097 --> 00:33:59,935
- And... you wanted it that big, right?
- Of course I did.
780
00:34:00,018 --> 00:34:02,187
'Cause it's a... a real presence.
781
00:34:02,270 --> 00:34:04,189
As was your father. Olive?
782
00:34:04,272 --> 00:34:06,232
And he came and measured the space?
783
00:34:06,316 --> 00:34:07,859
- Who?
- Mario Andretti?
784
00:34:07,943 --> 00:34:09,861
Marco Toretti. Yes, he did. Why?
785
00:34:09,945 --> 00:34:12,447
- No reason.
- I wanted something dramatic.
786
00:34:12,531 --> 00:34:13,782
And you got it.
787
00:34:13,865 --> 00:34:15,534
- I did.
- Okay.
788
00:34:16,993 --> 00:34:18,078
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
789
00:34:23,667 --> 00:34:25,043
Oh, come on, Mom. Admit it.
790
00:34:25,126 --> 00:34:27,212
- Admit what?
- You Spinal Tapped the painting.
791
00:34:27,295 --> 00:34:28,880
- What?
- You Spinal Tapped the painting.
792
00:34:28,964 --> 00:34:32,676
You gave them the wrong dimensions
and now you are trying to pretend
793
00:34:32,759 --> 00:34:35,303
that massive portrait is something
you intended.
794
00:34:35,386 --> 00:34:37,222
- It was. Yes.
- It was?
795
00:34:37,305 --> 00:34:40,516
You intended for Dad's eyebrow
and my forearm to be the same length?
796
00:34:40,600 --> 00:34:42,852
- Yes.
- It's 18-feet tall!
797
00:34:42,936 --> 00:34:44,271
It's not 18-feet tall.
798
00:34:44,354 --> 00:34:46,648
- It looks 18 feet-tall.
- Should I get a tape measure?
799
00:34:46,732 --> 00:34:47,983
- No.
- I can get a tape measure.
800
00:34:48,066 --> 00:34:50,736
- Do not get a tape measure.
- Alejandro has one.
801
00:34:50,819 --> 00:34:54,155
I don't believe you wanted
a portrait of Dad so massive,
802
00:34:54,239 --> 00:34:56,199
- it doesn't fit on the wall!
- Well, I did.
803
00:34:56,282 --> 00:34:59,786
A portrait so big, Peter Jackson
could hang it at the Argonath.
804
00:34:59,870 --> 00:35:02,497
- Yes, he could.
- You don't know what the Argonath is!
805
00:35:02,581 --> 00:35:04,583
Doesn't matter.
It's a nice picture of Grandpa.
806
00:35:04,666 --> 00:35:06,835
Mom. Do it over.
807
00:35:06,918 --> 00:35:08,920
Get what you want.
You have the money.
808
00:35:09,004 --> 00:35:11,882
- This is what I want.
- I swear it can't be.
809
00:35:11,965 --> 00:35:13,341
- Why not?
- Because! Look at it.
810
00:35:13,424 --> 00:35:17,137
It's nuts! "Wizard, you shall not pass!"
Seriously!
811
00:35:17,220 --> 00:35:19,765
Fine! I made a mistake!
Are you happy?
812
00:35:19,848 --> 00:35:22,726
I gave them the wrong dimensions,
and they screwed it up.
813
00:35:22,809 --> 00:35:24,561
I'm a screw-up! I admit it!
814
00:35:24,645 --> 00:35:29,691
Just please, don't let this be the only
thing you remember to say at my funeral!
815
00:35:33,194 --> 00:35:34,863
So...
816
00:35:36,531 --> 00:35:37,699
Yes?
817
00:35:38,825 --> 00:35:42,078
Did I tell you what happened
at the funeral after you left?
818
00:35:42,162 --> 00:35:44,372
Why, no, you didn't.
819
00:35:45,707 --> 00:35:47,292
Because something did.
820
00:37:20,802 --> 00:37:24,430
So nice of you to come.
You're in Florida now, aren't you?
821
00:37:24,514 --> 00:37:27,809
We are. You should come visit us
when things calm down a bit.
822
00:37:27,893 --> 00:37:29,895
I'll do that. I promise.
823
00:37:33,982 --> 00:37:35,859
- Beautiful service, Emily.
- Thank you.
824
00:37:37,152 --> 00:37:39,612
- I'm all right, Rory.
- Okay.
825
00:37:40,864 --> 00:37:43,408
- I really am all right.
- I know.
826
00:37:45,410 --> 00:37:46,411
Lorelai.
827
00:37:47,328 --> 00:37:50,665
Jason Stiles,
as I live and breathe.
828
00:37:50,749 --> 00:37:53,418
You look like the hottest Italian widow
I have ever seen.
829
00:37:53,501 --> 00:37:55,837
It's nice that you came.
830
00:37:55,921 --> 00:37:58,631
Your father was a lion.
You know that.
831
00:37:58,714 --> 00:38:01,051
I do.
832
00:38:01,134 --> 00:38:02,969
I'm deeply sorry.
833
00:38:03,553 --> 00:38:06,806
At least it was sudden.
Mom didn't have to watch him fade away.
834
00:38:06,890 --> 00:38:09,059
Have you seen my mother by the way?
835
00:38:09,142 --> 00:38:13,271
I've been successfully keeping
a living room's worth of space between us.
836
00:38:13,354 --> 00:38:14,730
She's in hostess mode.
837
00:38:14,814 --> 00:38:16,483
At worst, she'll send you home
with shrimp.
838
00:38:16,566 --> 00:38:19,235
- To which I'm allergic.
- Thus fulfilling her devious plan.
839
00:38:20,779 --> 00:38:22,906
- You happy?
- Right now or...
840
00:38:25,158 --> 00:38:26,159
Are you happy?
841
00:38:27,869 --> 00:38:28,787
Yes.
842
00:38:30,121 --> 00:38:31,539
Umlauts.
843
00:38:31,622 --> 00:38:33,666
Digger.
844
00:38:41,800 --> 00:38:42,968
What you doin'?
845
00:38:43,051 --> 00:38:45,345
Oh, there was a screw loose
in the heating vent.
846
00:38:45,428 --> 00:38:46,930
I didn't want it to fall out.
847
00:38:47,013 --> 00:38:49,140
Uh-huh.
Did you service the boiler yet?
848
00:38:49,224 --> 00:38:51,351
It was just the one screw.
That's it.
849
00:38:51,434 --> 00:38:52,602
Garbage disposal working now?
850
00:38:52,685 --> 00:38:55,814
I just saw it like that
and I had this with me so...
851
00:38:55,897 --> 00:38:57,273
- And the rain gutters?
- Well...
852
00:38:57,357 --> 00:39:02,195
You can't leave them clogged like that.
The water gets in the house.
853
00:39:02,278 --> 00:39:04,823
I can't help it.
Funerals make me nervous.
854
00:39:04,906 --> 00:39:05,949
Here.
855
00:39:06,032 --> 00:39:07,450
This is such a big house
856
00:39:07,533 --> 00:39:08,618
and things go wrong all the time.
857
00:39:08,701 --> 00:39:10,370
But I could have
my husband fix everything.
858
00:39:10,453 --> 00:39:12,413
And we could move in here with you
so you would not be so alone
859
00:39:12,497 --> 00:39:14,124
and we can take care of everything.
860
00:39:14,207 --> 00:39:15,500
- Everything.
- Sure.
861
00:39:15,583 --> 00:39:17,127
You will like my husband.
862
00:39:17,210 --> 00:39:18,294
He's very tall and quiet.
863
00:39:18,378 --> 00:39:19,795
- Okay?
- Sure.
864
00:39:19,879 --> 00:39:21,756
Oh, Señora Gilmore, don't worry.
865
00:39:22,590 --> 00:39:25,760
Fine. Just take that to the kitchen?
866
00:39:26,719 --> 00:39:29,180
- What language is that?
- I do not know.
867
00:39:29,264 --> 00:39:30,265
I thought it was Spanish,
868
00:39:30,348 --> 00:39:32,934
but I had the gardener
tell her to come in early one day
869
00:39:33,018 --> 00:39:35,311
and he told me
she wasn't speaking Spanish,
870
00:39:35,395 --> 00:39:36,812
It took me a while to understand
871
00:39:36,897 --> 00:39:39,858
because I need the pool man
to translate for the gardener.
872
00:39:39,941 --> 00:39:42,735
- Hey, time to get going, kid.
- Oh, shoot!
873
00:39:42,818 --> 00:39:44,570
I have to get to the airport!
874
00:39:44,654 --> 00:39:46,447
My goodness, so dramatic.
875
00:39:46,531 --> 00:39:48,992
Please tell your daughter
I'm going to be fine.
876
00:39:49,075 --> 00:39:52,704
- The two of you can just run along.
- Oh, no. I'm gonna have Luke drive her.
877
00:39:52,787 --> 00:39:55,040
- You're staying?
- Yeah.
878
00:39:55,623 --> 00:39:56,833
All right.
879
00:39:56,917 --> 00:39:58,501
Grandma...
880
00:39:58,584 --> 00:40:00,211
You made him very proud.
881
00:40:00,295 --> 00:40:02,881
I will call you when I get to London.
882
00:40:02,964 --> 00:40:04,883
Emily, everything's in good shape here.
883
00:40:04,966 --> 00:40:06,426
- I'm sorry?
- Just send her your bill.
884
00:40:06,509 --> 00:40:08,303
Right. So...
885
00:40:09,720 --> 00:40:12,432
Thank you, Luke.
Drive safe now.
886
00:40:12,515 --> 00:40:13,724
Okay, love you.
887
00:40:13,808 --> 00:40:15,685
Ditto. Bye, guys.
888
00:40:19,022 --> 00:40:20,899
So... scotch?
889
00:40:21,857 --> 00:40:22,858
God, yes.
890
00:40:58,769 --> 00:41:00,896
One of his favorites.
891
00:41:00,981 --> 00:41:03,066
A classic for a classic.
892
00:41:03,149 --> 00:41:04,317
Hear, hear.
893
00:41:07,612 --> 00:41:10,531
Well, I know it's getting late
894
00:41:10,615 --> 00:41:13,159
and I know some of you have
a very long ride home.
895
00:41:14,077 --> 00:41:17,664
I want to thank you for your friendship
and for being here.
896
00:41:18,498 --> 00:41:20,500
Richard loved you all very much.
897
00:41:21,459 --> 00:41:24,045
But before we all go our separate ways,
898
00:41:24,129 --> 00:41:27,673
I thought we could go around
and everyone could stand up
899
00:41:27,757 --> 00:41:30,260
and tell a favorite story about Richard.
900
00:41:31,886 --> 00:41:32,928
What did she just say?
901
00:41:33,013 --> 00:41:35,640
I know there are hundreds
to choose from.
902
00:41:35,723 --> 00:41:38,893
But too bad,
I'm going to limit you to just one.
903
00:41:38,977 --> 00:41:40,311
The best one.
904
00:41:40,395 --> 00:41:44,273
The one that most sums up
the Richard Gilmore you know and love.
905
00:41:44,899 --> 00:41:46,442
Let's start here. Jack?
906
00:41:48,736 --> 00:41:52,698
Well, Richard and I go back, um, to Yale.
907
00:41:52,782 --> 00:41:56,036
- We both went there...
- Excuse me. Please switch places with me.
908
00:41:56,119 --> 00:41:57,537
- What?
- There's a draft.
909
00:41:57,620 --> 00:42:00,248
- We're outside.
- Yeah, don't wanna go next.
910
00:42:00,331 --> 00:42:05,503
So, I decide to sneak a pair
of black lacy women's unmentionables
911
00:42:05,586 --> 00:42:07,630
into his locker for everyone to see.
912
00:42:07,713 --> 00:42:10,175
And so, one day after polo practice,
913
00:42:10,258 --> 00:42:13,844
I'm at the locker and I'm trying
to pick the lock so that I can leave
914
00:42:13,928 --> 00:42:16,306
the unmentionables there, and suddenly,
915
00:42:16,389 --> 00:42:20,435
I look up and I see him standing there
across the way at my locker
916
00:42:20,518 --> 00:42:24,272
also holding a pair
of black lacy knickers.
917
00:42:24,355 --> 00:42:27,942
And he sees me and we look at each other
918
00:42:28,026 --> 00:42:30,361
holding these women's underpants.
919
00:42:30,445 --> 00:42:31,946
So finally, Richard says,
920
00:42:32,030 --> 00:42:36,492
"Well, we can't possibly
both be in black."
921
00:42:40,788 --> 00:42:41,831
Wonderful.
922
00:42:41,914 --> 00:42:43,416
Franklin?
923
00:42:45,751 --> 00:42:48,546
He cheated at cards.
924
00:42:50,715 --> 00:42:52,300
Only with you, Franklin.
925
00:42:52,383 --> 00:42:55,678
One day, I'd just got myself
a brand new Jaguar.
926
00:42:55,761 --> 00:42:59,057
Richard said, "Let's play for pinks."
927
00:42:59,140 --> 00:43:00,600
So I say, "Now, look here, Gilmore.
928
00:43:00,683 --> 00:43:04,270
You keep your hands off my new car."
929
00:43:04,354 --> 00:43:06,772
And he smiles and says, "Make me."
930
00:43:08,191 --> 00:43:09,567
And next we have...
931
00:43:09,650 --> 00:43:11,652
Oh, looks like Martin's asleep.
932
00:43:11,736 --> 00:43:12,778
Lorelai?
933
00:43:14,322 --> 00:43:16,491
- What?
- You're up.
934
00:43:16,574 --> 00:43:18,033
No. No, no.
935
00:43:18,118 --> 00:43:19,744
Let's... let's...
936
00:43:19,827 --> 00:43:22,663
We can wake Martin up, huh?
937
00:43:22,747 --> 00:43:26,167
Hey, Marty. Marty.
Babe Paley's in the corner.
938
00:43:26,251 --> 00:43:27,418
- Lorelai.
- Hmm?
939
00:43:28,002 --> 00:43:29,003
Just go.
940
00:43:30,213 --> 00:43:32,590
Uh... uh...
941
00:43:33,549 --> 00:43:36,802
The best story... best story.
942
00:43:36,886 --> 00:43:39,514
There's so many great...
No... no one else wants to go?
943
00:43:40,265 --> 00:43:43,017
Nope? They don't because it's my turn.
944
00:43:43,101 --> 00:43:44,810
So, um, okay...
945
00:43:44,894 --> 00:43:48,773
I'm ten, and I ask Dad if...
946
00:43:48,856 --> 00:43:53,027
to play hide and seek,
and I went and hid in his steamer trunk,
947
00:43:53,111 --> 00:43:54,987
and he left and went to Holland.
948
00:43:57,240 --> 00:43:59,283
I'm sorry. No, it was Belgium.
949
00:43:59,867 --> 00:44:02,328
Or... oh, uh, I'm 15,
950
00:44:02,412 --> 00:44:07,082
and we were having our,
um, Gilmore Fourth of July party
951
00:44:07,167 --> 00:44:09,627
and Dad was dressed as Paul Revere.
952
00:44:09,710 --> 00:44:13,881
And I guess I was supposed
to be, um, greeting people
953
00:44:13,964 --> 00:44:15,591
or playing the flute with a peg leg,
954
00:44:15,675 --> 00:44:19,094
so he came looking for me
and he burst into the pool house
955
00:44:19,179 --> 00:44:22,973
where I was on the couch
with Teddy Wiedemier III,
956
00:44:23,057 --> 00:44:26,519
and we had just finished, uh...
957
00:44:26,602 --> 00:44:29,605
"The British are coming!
The British are..." Anyhow, you get it.
958
00:44:29,689 --> 00:44:33,318
Dad's livid and he's yelling, "Emily,
our daughter's losing her virginity
959
00:44:33,401 --> 00:44:35,528
five feet away
from the president of J.P. Morgan,"
960
00:44:35,611 --> 00:44:37,280
which was embarrassing and not true,
961
00:44:37,363 --> 00:44:39,574
because that ship had sailed
a long time ago,
962
00:44:39,657 --> 00:44:42,117
like Niña, Pinta, Santa Maria time ago,
963
00:44:42,202 --> 00:44:43,661
if you know what I mean.
964
00:44:44,662 --> 00:44:46,206
So...
965
00:44:47,957 --> 00:44:51,586
Oh, I'm sorry, it was not Belgium.
It was Croatia.
966
00:45:05,766 --> 00:45:07,768
It was wonderful
seeing you again.
967
00:45:07,852 --> 00:45:10,230
We should get together next month maybe.
Can we?
968
00:45:10,313 --> 00:45:11,439
I'd love to.
969
00:45:11,522 --> 00:45:13,899
All right now,
you all drive carefully.
970
00:45:13,983 --> 00:45:14,984
Thank you so much.
971
00:45:15,943 --> 00:45:18,195
- Good night.
- Good night.
972
00:45:33,294 --> 00:45:34,504
I'm sorry.
973
00:45:41,427 --> 00:45:42,970
You took me by surprise.
974
00:45:43,053 --> 00:45:44,138
Not another word.
975
00:45:47,475 --> 00:45:49,226
It was late and there was scotch.
976
00:45:49,310 --> 00:45:51,061
Lorelai, stop talking.
977
00:45:55,816 --> 00:45:57,568
I didn't mean to...
978
00:45:58,403 --> 00:45:59,487
Don't follow.
979
00:46:05,535 --> 00:46:06,536
Mom...
980
00:46:08,537 --> 00:46:09,580
Mom...
981
00:46:11,582 --> 00:46:13,042
Please, come back.
982
00:46:13,125 --> 00:46:16,462
I didn't do it on purpose.
I had a brain freeze. I panicked.
983
00:46:16,545 --> 00:46:17,463
Mom.
984
00:46:18,088 --> 00:46:21,801
- You two start with the silver.
- I didn't know there'd be a... test.
985
00:46:21,884 --> 00:46:23,386
A test?
986
00:46:23,469 --> 00:46:25,137
- Yes.
- You didn't know there'd be a test?
987
00:46:25,220 --> 00:46:28,015
- Is that what you said to me?
- I also said I'm sorry.
988
00:46:28,098 --> 00:46:29,099
- Did you?
- Yes.
989
00:46:29,183 --> 00:46:30,267
- Did you?
- Yes.
990
00:46:30,351 --> 00:46:32,728
- Did you really?
- You're making me doubt it now...
991
00:46:32,812 --> 00:46:34,271
I asked you for a story.
992
00:46:34,355 --> 00:46:37,692
"Oh, there was a time when Dad
bought me a doll. I loved this doll."
993
00:46:37,775 --> 00:46:40,861
Something like that.
Get out! Now!
994
00:46:41,821 --> 00:46:45,533
- "I remember when he took me to the park."
- He didn't take me to a park.
995
00:46:45,616 --> 00:46:47,117
- The zoo.
- That either.
996
00:46:47,201 --> 00:46:50,538
The store! The club! Kathmandu!
I don't give a damn where he took you.
997
00:46:50,621 --> 00:46:53,916
All I wanted was a fond anecdote
from his only daughter
998
00:46:53,999 --> 00:46:58,379
and what I got was a rambling diatribe
on being abandoned in a steamer trunk.
999
00:46:58,463 --> 00:47:00,881
You have nothing
but contempt for this family.
1000
00:47:00,965 --> 00:47:01,841
That is not true.
1001
00:47:01,924 --> 00:47:04,469
What did we do
to fill you with such contempt?
1002
00:47:04,552 --> 00:47:07,513
Love you? Support you?
Love Rory? Support Rory?
1003
00:47:07,597 --> 00:47:09,181
I'm not filled with contempt.
1004
00:47:09,264 --> 00:47:11,976
All my other friends have children
who worship them,
1005
00:47:12,059 --> 00:47:13,519
who call them every day,
1006
00:47:13,603 --> 00:47:15,980
who take pride in the family name
and traditions.
1007
00:47:16,063 --> 00:47:17,064
I have pride.
1008
00:47:17,147 --> 00:47:19,984
Your father was a great man.
1009
00:47:20,067 --> 00:47:21,361
A pillar of the community.
1010
00:47:21,444 --> 00:47:23,738
- A man amongst men.
- I know.
1011
00:47:23,821 --> 00:47:26,323
And you dishonor him today
like this in his own house.
1012
00:47:26,407 --> 00:47:28,033
I didn't mean to dishonor him.
1013
00:47:28,117 --> 00:47:30,285
What did you mean to do?
Break my heart in public?
1014
00:47:30,370 --> 00:47:32,955
- No fun doing it in private anymore?
- Mom.
1015
00:47:33,039 --> 00:47:37,585
I know that you are in massive pain.
Believe it or not, I'm in pain, too.
1016
00:47:37,668 --> 00:47:41,130
I'm tired and my head is spinning,
and I haven't eaten in two days.
1017
00:47:41,213 --> 00:47:43,298
- You? Not eaten? Please.
- Yes, me!
1018
00:47:43,383 --> 00:47:46,135
I'm surprised you didn't have
a pizza delivered during "Ave Maria."
1019
00:47:46,218 --> 00:47:49,639
Well, I haven't eaten and I drank
my weight in single malt scotch.
1020
00:47:49,722 --> 00:47:51,640
I screwed up. I made a mistake.
1021
00:47:51,724 --> 00:47:53,518
That was premeditated.
1022
00:47:53,601 --> 00:47:56,604
How could it be premeditated
if I didn't know it was coming?
1023
00:47:56,687 --> 00:48:00,315
You never do anything unless
it's what you want to do. You never have.
1024
00:48:00,399 --> 00:48:03,069
You blow through life
like a natural disaster,
1025
00:48:03,152 --> 00:48:05,488
knocking down everything
and everyone in your path.
1026
00:48:05,571 --> 00:48:08,449
- Did Luke know what he was getting into?
- Don't.
1027
00:48:08,533 --> 00:48:09,992
Did you ever ask him what he wanted?
1028
00:48:10,075 --> 00:48:12,662
Where he wanted to live?
If he wanted children?
1029
00:48:12,745 --> 00:48:14,789
I'm sure that didn't matter
to Lorelai Gilmore.
1030
00:48:14,872 --> 00:48:17,542
Nothing matters to her
except what she wants and feels.
1031
00:48:17,625 --> 00:48:20,377
God help you
if she thinks you've wronged her.
1032
00:48:20,461 --> 00:48:24,339
She will hold onto that grudge forever
waiting to get back at you.
1033
00:48:24,423 --> 00:48:29,428
I made a mistake! A goddamn mistake!
You've never let me make a mistake ever.
1034
00:48:29,512 --> 00:48:32,598
Not once in my life, which is how
we always find ourselves here.
1035
00:48:32,682 --> 00:48:34,892
- Where?
- Standing in the middle of this room
1036
00:48:34,975 --> 00:48:36,477
yelling at each other like idiots!
1037
00:48:36,561 --> 00:48:40,022
How dare you call me an idiot!
I just lost my husband!
1038
00:48:40,105 --> 00:48:41,982
I just lost my father!
1039
00:48:42,066 --> 00:48:43,526
And you couldn't care less!
1040
00:48:43,609 --> 00:48:46,195
That's horrible.
1041
00:48:47,863 --> 00:48:49,114
You're horrible.
1042
00:48:49,198 --> 00:48:50,324
Get out!
1043
00:48:50,908 --> 00:48:53,494
First the help, then me.
Seems about right.
1044
00:48:53,578 --> 00:48:54,787
Go home!
1045
00:48:54,870 --> 00:48:57,915
Go back to your beloved town
with its carnies and misfits.
1046
00:48:57,998 --> 00:49:01,585
Tell them how your intolerable mother
yelled at you at your father's funeral.
1047
00:49:01,669 --> 00:49:04,589
They can all console you
and tell you what a witch I am
1048
00:49:04,672 --> 00:49:06,006
and how perfect you are!
1049
00:49:08,008 --> 00:49:10,678
Full freakin' circle.
1050
00:49:15,891 --> 00:49:18,269
You couldn't have just said
he was well-read?
1051
00:49:18,561 --> 00:49:21,814
- I know.
- "My father. Boy, did he love books."
1052
00:49:21,897 --> 00:49:23,232
I know, I know.
1053
00:49:23,315 --> 00:49:25,693
"And stamps.
Whoo, that stamp collection."
1054
00:49:25,776 --> 00:49:27,820
I was under a lot of pressure.
You weren't there.
1055
00:49:27,903 --> 00:49:30,072
And how did you neglect to tell me this?
1056
00:49:30,155 --> 00:49:32,742
- Oh, I didn't think she was mad anymore.
- You didn't?
1057
00:49:32,825 --> 00:49:35,578
Well, I assumed she was,
because she hadn't answered
1058
00:49:35,661 --> 00:49:38,498
any of my calls or e-mails
for the last four months,
1059
00:49:38,581 --> 00:49:40,500
but I thought she'd hide it
in front of you.
1060
00:49:40,583 --> 00:49:42,251
Because that's ever happened.
1061
00:49:45,504 --> 00:49:48,466
What could possibly elicit
that kind of smile in this house?
1062
00:49:49,467 --> 00:49:51,010
It smells meaty.
1063
00:49:51,093 --> 00:49:52,762
Yes, but what kind of meat?
1064
00:49:52,845 --> 00:49:54,930
And there's cheese, and layers of...
1065
00:49:55,848 --> 00:49:57,600
- It's crunchy.
- Huh.
1066
00:49:57,683 --> 00:50:00,770
No, wait, it's smooshy.
It's crunchy and smooshy.
1067
00:50:00,853 --> 00:50:04,524
- What's crunchy and smooshy?
- Peanut butter? Or badly mixed cement?
1068
00:50:04,607 --> 00:50:08,068
So we've got meat, cheese, peanut butter
or badly mixed cement.
1069
00:50:08,152 --> 00:50:09,737
For God's sake, just eat it.
1070
00:50:09,820 --> 00:50:12,031
I'll tell you what, I'll dive in first.
1071
00:50:12,114 --> 00:50:15,159
Mom always made me taste her food
before she'd eat a bite.
1072
00:50:17,578 --> 00:50:20,956
Mmm. Delicious.
And it could be peanut butter.
1073
00:50:21,040 --> 00:50:22,667
- Oh, yeah.
- Cool.
1074
00:50:22,750 --> 00:50:25,795
I appreciate you inviting me to dinner.
It was harrowing out there.
1075
00:50:26,378 --> 00:50:27,296
Who is this?
1076
00:50:27,379 --> 00:50:29,549
Kirk, your car broke down
at the end of the driveway.
1077
00:50:29,632 --> 00:50:32,009
It's lucky for me I'm a very loud crier.
1078
00:50:32,092 --> 00:50:35,304
If your maid hadn't heard my sobs,
I don't know what would've happened.
1079
00:50:35,387 --> 00:50:38,516
- You would've run out of Kleenex.
- It's nice we can joke about it now.
1080
00:50:39,016 --> 00:50:41,268
Thanks for letting me stash
some boxes here, Grandma.
1081
00:50:41,352 --> 00:50:44,313
- Where are you going to live?
- I'll get my own place again, eventually.
1082
00:50:44,396 --> 00:50:46,899
For now she's Jack Kerouac.
She's On the Road-ing it.
1083
00:50:46,982 --> 00:50:47,983
Pass the peyote.
1084
00:50:48,067 --> 00:50:52,029
But after you've passed the peyote,
what bathroom will you use to throw up in?
1085
00:50:52,112 --> 00:50:55,658
Well, I have many options.
Paris lets me stay with her in New York.
1086
00:50:55,741 --> 00:50:58,493
- Or I can stay with Mom, Lane or you.
- So you're homeless.
1087
00:50:58,578 --> 00:51:00,162
I am not homeless.
1088
00:51:00,245 --> 00:51:02,414
- But you don't live anyplace.
- Just for now.
1089
00:51:02,497 --> 00:51:05,000
You're okay with this
vagabond existence she's leading?
1090
00:51:05,084 --> 00:51:06,586
Like... like a groupie?
1091
00:51:06,669 --> 00:51:08,963
I wish she was a groupie.
I'd get better tickets to stuff.
1092
00:51:09,046 --> 00:51:12,174
- Luke! Buddy!
- Hey, everybody. Emily.
1093
00:51:12,257 --> 00:51:14,134
- Careful!
- Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry.
1094
00:51:14,218 --> 00:51:15,803
- No, I'll do that.
- Oh, sure.
1095
00:51:15,886 --> 00:51:16,971
Thanks for coming.
1096
00:51:17,054 --> 00:51:20,390
Yes. Saved us all
a very expensive cab ride.
1097
00:51:20,474 --> 00:51:22,727
Are you all leaving now?
We all just sat down.
1098
00:51:22,810 --> 00:51:25,980
Oh, no, please. Just eat.
Um, no rush. I can just, uh...
1099
00:51:26,897 --> 00:51:28,691
- Buh-buh-buh!
- Oh...
1100
00:51:31,068 --> 00:51:32,737
This really is delicious.
1101
00:51:33,946 --> 00:51:36,824
Oh, thank you.
1102
00:51:36,907 --> 00:51:37,908
You don't like it?
1103
00:51:37,992 --> 00:51:41,120
What? Oh, uh... Okay.
1104
00:51:42,204 --> 00:51:43,247
Very good.
1105
00:51:43,330 --> 00:51:45,666
Isn't it? I could eat here every night.
1106
00:51:47,376 --> 00:51:48,878
- Luke?
- Hmm, yes?
1107
00:51:48,961 --> 00:51:51,171
What do you think about
Rory's living situation?
1108
00:51:51,255 --> 00:51:52,840
- Um...
- Her traipsing around
1109
00:51:52,923 --> 00:51:55,592
from one couch to another
like she's Llewyn Davis.
1110
00:51:55,676 --> 00:51:56,677
Oh, it's fine.
1111
00:51:57,469 --> 00:52:01,974
Well, I mean... you know,
she's grown, and she's...
1112
00:52:02,474 --> 00:52:06,145
Uh, did you read her New Yorker piece
that she wrote? I put it on the menu.
1113
00:52:06,228 --> 00:52:09,398
Why is everyone treating this
like it's a normal rite of passage?
1114
00:52:09,481 --> 00:52:13,778
Rory is a 32-year-old college-educated
woman with no permanent address.
1115
00:52:13,861 --> 00:52:14,904
That's not normal.
1116
00:52:14,987 --> 00:52:17,239
Um, can I be excused?
1117
00:52:17,322 --> 00:52:19,950
They're playing soccer
and they seem to be short a man.
1118
00:52:20,034 --> 00:52:21,160
Go.
1119
00:52:23,663 --> 00:52:25,622
Hi, I'm Kirk! Over here!
1120
00:52:26,581 --> 00:52:28,417
Explain to me again who that person is?
1121
00:52:28,500 --> 00:52:31,586
- Oh, that I could.
- Grandma, don't worry about me.
1122
00:52:31,671 --> 00:52:34,924
I know exactly what I'm doing.
I'm busier than I've ever been.
1123
00:52:35,007 --> 00:52:36,341
I'm traveling and pursuing a goal.
1124
00:52:36,425 --> 00:52:39,261
I don't have to store my stuff here
if you're going to worry.
1125
00:52:39,344 --> 00:52:42,181
You can leave your things here.
That's not what I meant.
1126
00:52:43,098 --> 00:52:45,392
- There's a chair now.
- Oh, sure.
1127
00:52:49,980 --> 00:52:53,108
Goal!
1128
00:52:58,530 --> 00:52:59,865
Call me from London.
1129
00:53:00,783 --> 00:53:01,992
- Luke.
- Yes?
1130
00:53:02,076 --> 00:53:05,079
- That was just my way of saying goodbye.
- Oh, goodbye.
1131
00:53:05,162 --> 00:53:07,664
- Good night, Mom.
- Kirk, we're leaving!
1132
00:53:07,748 --> 00:53:09,166
- Talk tomorrow.
- Yep.
1133
00:53:12,252 --> 00:53:13,628
Kirk! Now!
1134
00:53:29,436 --> 00:53:31,396
- Thank you, Luke.
- Oh, you're welcome, Kirk.
1135
00:53:31,480 --> 00:53:35,192
Before I go, we should get our stories
straight about what happened.
1136
00:53:35,275 --> 00:53:38,570
Your car broke down, I drove to Hartford,
and drove you back home.
1137
00:53:38,653 --> 00:53:41,365
Or you broke down, I drove to Hartford
and picked you up,
1138
00:53:41,448 --> 00:53:42,491
and drove you back home.
1139
00:53:42,574 --> 00:53:43,743
- What?
- Much better story.
1140
00:53:43,826 --> 00:53:44,869
No.
1141
00:53:44,952 --> 00:53:48,455
My business is young, Luke.
There's kinks to work out.
1142
00:53:48,538 --> 00:53:50,958
People don't want to know
how the sausage gets made.
1143
00:53:51,041 --> 00:53:52,042
They just want to eat.
1144
00:53:52,126 --> 00:53:54,669
There's no arguing
or even responding to that, Kirk.
1145
00:53:54,754 --> 00:53:56,380
Great. Thank you.
1146
00:53:56,463 --> 00:53:58,090
Damn it.
1147
00:53:58,173 --> 00:53:59,967
Petal, stop right now!
1148
00:54:00,050 --> 00:54:02,677
I know you hear me!
I know you hear me!
1149
00:54:02,762 --> 00:54:05,722
You get back here!
Curb right! Curb right!
1150
00:54:05,806 --> 00:54:07,933
- Go, Petal!
- Don't encourage her.
1151
00:54:11,395 --> 00:54:13,063
- What's all this?
- What?
1152
00:54:13,147 --> 00:54:17,484
Dictionary, thesaurus, Mathematical
Principles of Natural Philosophy...
1153
00:54:17,567 --> 00:54:19,319
Aw, you got a letter from April.
1154
00:54:19,403 --> 00:54:22,364
I was two hours into deciphering it
when I got your call.
1155
00:54:22,447 --> 00:54:23,490
"Hello, Pater..."
1156
00:54:23,573 --> 00:54:25,534
- "Father," British or Latin.
- Sure.
1157
00:54:25,617 --> 00:54:27,577
She used the word "ontological"
three times.
1158
00:54:27,661 --> 00:54:29,789
She used it last time.
I looked it up and forgot it.
1159
00:54:29,872 --> 00:54:31,540
I was looking it up again when you called.
1160
00:54:31,623 --> 00:54:34,334
That's what you get when you spawn
an MIT-going genius.
1161
00:54:34,418 --> 00:54:37,087
Rory's smart. She speaks
like she doesn't need subtitles.
1162
00:54:37,171 --> 00:54:38,422
But she grew up with me.
1163
00:54:38,505 --> 00:54:41,216
She learned her language skills
via The Breakfast Club.
1164
00:54:41,884 --> 00:54:43,677
- Hey, how old is this coffee?
- Old.
1165
00:54:43,760 --> 00:54:44,761
Oh, well.
1166
00:54:46,055 --> 00:54:47,389
- Hey, Luke...
- What are you doing?
1167
00:54:47,472 --> 00:54:50,142
- Eating sprinkles.
- Wait, but... Never mind.
1168
00:54:50,225 --> 00:54:52,060
Uh, did I tell you?
1169
00:54:52,311 --> 00:54:54,354
Michel's husband Frederick wants a baby.
1170
00:54:54,438 --> 00:54:57,900
Frederick, the guy who ordered
three pancakes on three separate plates?
1171
00:54:57,983 --> 00:54:59,985
The town ought to buy another pig.
1172
00:55:00,068 --> 00:55:02,154
I can't watch this anymore.
1173
00:55:02,822 --> 00:55:05,365
Hey, Luke...
did you ever want a kid?
1174
00:55:06,283 --> 00:55:08,911
- I have a kid.
- I mean a fresh kid.
1175
00:55:08,994 --> 00:55:11,371
What the hell is a fresh kid?
1176
00:55:11,455 --> 00:55:14,082
A kid that's fresh. A kid with me.
1177
00:55:15,209 --> 00:55:18,045
We never had a serious conversation
about it, I don't think.
1178
00:55:18,128 --> 00:55:20,005
That moment at the Twickham house,
but since then...
1179
00:55:20,089 --> 00:55:24,093
I figured if you wanted another kid
you would say something.
1180
00:55:24,176 --> 00:55:26,470
I figured if you wanted another kid,
you'd say something.
1181
00:55:26,553 --> 00:55:27,847
- I brought it up once.
- When?
1182
00:55:27,930 --> 00:55:29,514
- Five, six years ago.
- I don't remember.
1183
00:55:29,598 --> 00:55:30,640
At the little league game.
1184
00:55:30,724 --> 00:55:34,228
The kid playing right field
walked off mid-inning to use the bathroom.
1185
00:55:34,311 --> 00:55:36,522
I turned to you and I said,
"That's the kid."
1186
00:55:37,356 --> 00:55:39,358
- "That's the kid"?
- Yes.
1187
00:55:39,441 --> 00:55:41,610
"That's the kid" is how you say
you want to have a kid?
1188
00:55:41,693 --> 00:55:42,611
In so many words.
1189
00:55:42,694 --> 00:55:44,905
No, that is not you saying
you want to have a kid.
1190
00:55:44,989 --> 00:55:47,992
"That's the kid" is acknowledging the kid
about whom you said,
1191
00:55:48,075 --> 00:55:50,494
- "That's the kid."
- I thought you knew what I meant.
1192
00:55:50,577 --> 00:55:52,621
Impossible, because I don't speak "huh"?
1193
00:55:52,704 --> 00:55:56,000
Well... that's what I thought
and you didn't pursue it, so...
1194
00:55:56,083 --> 00:55:57,459
- It was up to me to pursue it?
- No.
1195
00:55:57,543 --> 00:55:59,127
Sorry, I...
1196
00:56:00,880 --> 00:56:02,756
Well, how do you feel about it now?
1197
00:56:02,839 --> 00:56:04,633
What?
1198
00:56:04,716 --> 00:56:06,010
Do you still want a kid?
1199
00:56:06,093 --> 00:56:09,138
Oh, well, I mean... I mean, isn't it,
uh, too late?
1200
00:56:09,221 --> 00:56:11,306
- I don't know.
- Look, forget it.
1201
00:56:11,390 --> 00:56:13,058
I have kids. I have April
1202
00:56:13,142 --> 00:56:16,728
and I've always considered Rory
to be a little bit mine, so...
1203
00:56:16,812 --> 00:56:20,649
Yeah, but she was so much fun to raise.
Don't you want to have that kind of fun?
1204
00:56:20,732 --> 00:56:23,527
I have fun. Look at all the chairs
I get to put on tables.
1205
00:56:23,610 --> 00:56:25,820
You don't wanna toss a ball around
with your son?
1206
00:56:25,905 --> 00:56:28,240
- There's Jess.
- I said toss a ball "with" not "at."
1207
00:56:28,323 --> 00:56:29,741
I'm fine.
1208
00:56:29,825 --> 00:56:32,578
- You'll never see your kid's graduation.
- I went to Rory's graduation.
1209
00:56:33,954 --> 00:56:36,540
- It's not the same.
- I know it's not the same.
1210
00:56:38,042 --> 00:56:39,751
I don't want you to miss out on anything.
1211
00:56:39,834 --> 00:56:42,254
Nobody gets to have everything
they want in life.
1212
00:56:42,337 --> 00:56:44,673
All in all, I think I did pretty good.
1213
00:56:51,931 --> 00:56:53,348
Okay, Sandy, see you then.
1214
00:56:53,432 --> 00:56:55,392
- Who's Sandy?
- Do you have to know everything?
1215
00:56:55,475 --> 00:56:58,187
I'm your best friend
and business partner, so yes.
1216
00:56:58,270 --> 00:56:59,854
Sandy is our surrogate.
1217
00:56:59,938 --> 00:57:01,732
- You're doing it.
- We're thinking about it.
1218
00:57:01,815 --> 00:57:02,857
Exciting!
1219
00:57:02,942 --> 00:57:06,528
I just hope it works.
A baby would really help everything.
1220
00:57:06,612 --> 00:57:09,072
- We want cake!
- Coming. Take it.
1221
00:57:09,156 --> 00:57:10,699
Who's gonna help me
light the candles?
1222
00:57:10,782 --> 00:57:12,826
- I will, I will!
- Fun, fun, fun!
1223
00:57:21,543 --> 00:57:23,462
Here you go. Freshly made.
1224
00:57:23,545 --> 00:57:26,256
Thanks. It's been at least an hour
since my last infusion.
1225
00:57:26,340 --> 00:57:29,676
So, I have all your paperwork.
I'll make sure everything's in order.
1226
00:57:29,759 --> 00:57:32,304
- You can flip through this while you wait.
- Thanks.
1227
00:57:37,517 --> 00:57:38,560
Really good coffee.
1228
00:57:38,643 --> 00:57:40,854
- Is it?
- Yep. Strong. A little crunchy.
1229
00:57:40,938 --> 00:57:42,106
Good. Good.
1230
00:57:43,440 --> 00:57:46,068
Okay, I will take a look.
1231
00:57:51,323 --> 00:57:53,742
- You're supposed to be looking with me.
- Sorry.
1232
00:57:53,825 --> 00:57:55,910
So, what are we looking at here?
1233
00:57:55,995 --> 00:57:57,912
- Potential surrogates.
- Surrogates. Yes.
1234
00:57:57,997 --> 00:57:59,914
And these surrogates will...
1235
00:57:59,999 --> 00:58:01,666
- Carry the baby.
- Our baby.
1236
00:58:01,750 --> 00:58:04,127
- Yes. They'll carry our baby.
- I'm confused.
1237
00:58:04,211 --> 00:58:06,505
Am I supposed to be having sex
with these women?
1238
00:58:06,588 --> 00:58:08,715
- What?
- I don't wanna have sex with her.
1239
00:58:08,798 --> 00:58:11,051
No, you're not having sex
with these women.
1240
00:58:11,135 --> 00:58:13,262
- What? You'd have sex with her?
- No.
1241
00:58:13,345 --> 00:58:15,305
- How about her?
- No.
1242
00:58:15,389 --> 00:58:16,431
She's holding a bat.
1243
00:58:16,515 --> 00:58:18,558
You could play softball
and do it in the dugout.
1244
00:58:18,642 --> 00:58:21,145
I don't want to have sex with her
or any of these women.
1245
00:58:21,228 --> 00:58:23,438
I don't want to have sex with anyone ever.
1246
00:58:23,522 --> 00:58:26,025
- Except me.
- Lorelai, why are we here?
1247
00:58:26,108 --> 00:58:27,985
I tried to broach the subject of adoption.
1248
00:58:28,068 --> 00:58:29,819
I don't want to go to Bangladesh
to get a baby.
1249
00:58:29,903 --> 00:58:31,696
I don't want to go to Woodbury
to get a light bulb.
1250
00:58:31,780 --> 00:58:33,740
If you won't adopt,
this may be our only option,
1251
00:58:33,823 --> 00:58:36,701
- and I don't want another picture window.
- What?
1252
00:58:36,785 --> 00:58:39,329
When we remodeled the house,
you wanted a picture window,
1253
00:58:39,413 --> 00:58:43,417
but it looked weird with the other windows
and so you gave it up. You settled.
1254
00:58:43,500 --> 00:58:45,835
I do not remember
wanting a picture window.
1255
00:58:45,919 --> 00:58:48,463
Well, you did.
Now it's another thing on the list of
1256
00:58:48,547 --> 00:58:50,549
"things I don't have
because I'm with Lorelai."
1257
00:58:50,632 --> 00:58:52,842
- Like peace.
- And a picture window.
1258
00:58:52,926 --> 00:58:55,470
I do not want a picture window.
1259
00:58:55,554 --> 00:58:59,016
Moron!
When I say "a VIP," I mean a VIP.
1260
00:58:59,099 --> 00:59:00,267
I got them coffee.
1261
00:59:00,350 --> 00:59:02,686
If we were Starbucks,
you'd be employee of the month.
1262
00:59:02,769 --> 00:59:06,314
Since we're not, you're just
the first Smith grad I've fired this week.
1263
00:59:06,898 --> 00:59:10,444
Lorelai! So great to see you!
I am so sorry for the wait.
1264
00:59:10,527 --> 00:59:12,862
- Paris, that's fine.
- Don't stand there shaking. Just go.
1265
00:59:12,946 --> 00:59:14,156
Apologize to your parents.
1266
00:59:14,239 --> 00:59:16,741
Tell them you'll pay them back
for the semesters you studied
1267
00:59:16,825 --> 00:59:19,536
Buffy the Vampire Slayer's effect
on the feminist agenda.
1268
00:59:19,619 --> 00:59:22,372
- Okay, so, hello, Luke.
- Hi.
1269
00:59:22,456 --> 00:59:24,333
- You remember me.
- You're hard to forget.
1270
00:59:24,416 --> 00:59:26,293
Flattering. Let's go.
1271
00:59:27,419 --> 00:59:31,465
Now, I rarely act
as a case personal liaison anymore,
1272
00:59:31,548 --> 00:59:33,592
but when I heard it was you coming in,
I said,
1273
00:59:33,675 --> 00:59:36,136
"That woman was practically
my second mother.
1274
00:59:36,220 --> 00:59:38,055
No one else is handling this case."
1275
00:59:38,138 --> 00:59:40,724
Aw, that's very sweet of you, Paris.
1276
00:59:40,807 --> 00:59:43,393
So, the spiel. Dynasty Makers.
1277
00:59:43,477 --> 00:59:45,895
We are the largest full-service fertility
1278
00:59:45,979 --> 00:59:47,981
and surrogacy clinic
in the Western Hemisphere.
1279
00:59:48,065 --> 00:59:51,443
No other company offers more services,
medical and legal,
1280
00:59:51,526 --> 00:59:54,113
and no company has
a higher approval rating.
1281
00:59:54,196 --> 00:59:55,322
Did you check Yelp?
1282
00:59:55,405 --> 00:59:56,823
- No.
- Check Yelp.
1283
00:59:56,906 --> 00:59:58,825
- Oh.
- So, you know how this works?
1284
00:59:58,908 --> 01:00:01,578
Uh, we look through there and pick?
1285
01:00:01,661 --> 01:00:04,123
Give me that.
Bargain-basement breeders.
1286
01:00:04,206 --> 01:00:08,293
I'm not letting any of those
bottle-service bimbos carry your baby.
1287
01:00:08,377 --> 01:00:11,463
No, for you I pull out the prime meat.
1288
01:00:13,840 --> 01:00:15,258
Am I blacking out?
1289
01:00:15,342 --> 01:00:17,051
How's Rory?
She back from London?
1290
01:00:17,136 --> 01:00:18,637
She was, but she's there now.
1291
01:00:18,720 --> 01:00:20,680
- Hard to keep track of our girl, huh?
- Yeah.
1292
01:00:20,764 --> 01:00:24,226
Okay. So, it's pretty cut and dry here.
1293
01:00:24,309 --> 01:00:27,896
We plant an egg in a viable body,
we fertilize it and out comes a baby.
1294
01:00:27,979 --> 01:00:30,190
Bing bang boom.
Have you thought about eggs?
1295
01:00:30,274 --> 01:00:33,318
- Uh...
- Using eggs over age 44 with IVF,
1296
01:00:33,402 --> 01:00:36,571
the chances of having a baby
is about 1% per try.
1297
01:00:36,655 --> 01:00:39,324
- Wow, super fun fact.
- She keep you in stitches, this one?
1298
01:00:39,408 --> 01:00:42,035
Oh, yeah.
Hey, how much is this gonna cost?
1299
01:00:42,119 --> 01:00:45,122
A lot. But, again, Lorelai's
the only mother I ever had,
1300
01:00:45,205 --> 01:00:48,625
except for Nanny Soledad,
so there's mondo discounts involved.
1301
01:00:48,708 --> 01:00:50,669
How much time
did you spend with this girl?
1302
01:00:50,752 --> 01:00:52,129
- So, Luke.
- Yeah.
1303
01:00:52,212 --> 01:00:53,297
How are the boys?
1304
01:00:53,380 --> 01:00:55,632
- What? What is she doing?
- I don't know.
1305
01:00:55,715 --> 01:00:58,385
I'm good at visually sussing out
the situation down there.
1306
01:00:58,468 --> 01:01:00,011
Please stop sussing.
1307
01:01:00,094 --> 01:01:03,432
From a cursory glance,
you seem symmetrical and well-balanced.
1308
01:01:03,515 --> 01:01:05,184
Make sure he sticks with the boxers.
1309
01:01:05,267 --> 01:01:08,853
Okay, here's a sampling of what we've got.
1310
01:01:08,937 --> 01:01:12,232
Blondes, brunettes and redheads.
1311
01:01:12,316 --> 01:01:15,694
Tall, short, athletic, artsy.
1312
01:01:15,777 --> 01:01:19,323
We even got 'em
with a little extra junk in the trunk,
1313
01:01:19,406 --> 01:01:21,450
if you secretly like 'em that way, Luke.
1314
01:01:21,533 --> 01:01:25,204
I'm sorry. Am I or am I not having sex
with this woman?
1315
01:01:25,287 --> 01:01:26,705
That's a sick thought.
1316
01:01:26,788 --> 01:01:28,915
You're not having sex with her.
She's married.
1317
01:01:28,998 --> 01:01:31,418
- You made it sound like...
- We've got Jews, Christians,
1318
01:01:31,501 --> 01:01:34,588
Muslims, Hindus, atheists, one Wiccan,
1319
01:01:34,671 --> 01:01:37,299
and for a premium,
you can get the cream of the crop,
1320
01:01:37,382 --> 01:01:39,133
top of the line, army wives.
1321
01:01:39,218 --> 01:01:42,053
Sturdy, reliable, great at packing.
1322
01:01:42,136 --> 01:01:46,015
Oh, wait, sorry.
I have to take her off the available list.
1323
01:01:46,099 --> 01:01:49,603
She just conceived.
Very high-profile client.
1324
01:01:49,686 --> 01:01:51,980
Let's just call him... Doogie Howser.
1325
01:01:52,063 --> 01:01:53,732
You mean Neil Patrick Harris?
1326
01:01:53,815 --> 01:01:55,567
Wow. Little louder, please.
1327
01:01:55,650 --> 01:01:59,279
Okay, so now his cover's blown,
but, yes, it's Neil Patrick Harris.
1328
01:01:59,363 --> 01:02:01,740
- What kind of a cover...
- It's Neil Patrick Harris.
1329
01:02:01,823 --> 01:02:03,450
Did you hear?
It's Neil Patrick Harris.
1330
01:02:03,533 --> 01:02:05,577
- I did hear, yes.
- Neil Patrick Harris.
1331
01:02:05,660 --> 01:02:09,206
- You look upset, Luke.
- No. What makes you think I'm upset?
1332
01:02:09,289 --> 01:02:11,458
You're not excited
about Neil Patrick Harris.
1333
01:02:11,541 --> 01:02:15,712
I'm very excited for Neil Patrick Harris
if this is what he wants.
1334
01:02:15,795 --> 01:02:16,921
Is it not what you want?
1335
01:02:17,005 --> 01:02:18,172
- I...
- I understand.
1336
01:02:18,257 --> 01:02:19,549
It's a big decision, having kids.
1337
01:02:19,633 --> 01:02:22,886
There's rewards,
but also constant panic and worry.
1338
01:02:22,969 --> 01:02:25,389
Are they healthy? Does everything work?
Are they smart?
1339
01:02:25,472 --> 01:02:29,226
McDonald's fry stations are filled
with college-educated moderate achievers.
1340
01:02:29,309 --> 01:02:31,060
And then there's the lottery of nature.
1341
01:02:31,144 --> 01:02:32,812
I mean, I said to Neil,
1342
01:02:32,896 --> 01:02:35,815
"Are you prepared to have
a really unattractive child
1343
01:02:35,899 --> 01:02:37,401
that would not look good on camera?
1344
01:02:37,484 --> 01:02:39,861
Would you be okay if your child
1345
01:02:39,944 --> 01:02:42,196
was not an actor but an agent?"
1346
01:02:42,281 --> 01:02:44,616
- I need to leave.
- Luke, wait.
1347
01:02:46,826 --> 01:02:49,496
Oh. Sorry, Paris, I...
1348
01:02:49,579 --> 01:02:53,250
Yes. Go. Talk it through.
I'll send you a DVD of my top picks.
1349
01:02:53,333 --> 01:02:55,335
I'll also include a copy of Gone Girl.
1350
01:02:55,418 --> 01:02:57,837
- NPH was great in that.
- Thanks.
1351
01:03:00,590 --> 01:03:01,591
No.
1352
01:03:15,605 --> 01:03:17,774
Thank you, Francis.
1353
01:03:19,901 --> 01:03:22,195
Oh, sod it, bring the bottle.
We're celebrating.
1354
01:03:24,531 --> 01:03:26,908
I love coming here
because they hate that I do.
1355
01:03:26,991 --> 01:03:28,993
- Really?
- They wouldn't let women in
1356
01:03:29,077 --> 01:03:31,330
until the mid '80s.
It was only supposed to be
1357
01:03:31,413 --> 01:03:35,208
well-behaved wives with tiny feet,
not hellions like myself.
1358
01:03:35,292 --> 01:03:37,544
I helped kick open those doors.
1359
01:03:37,627 --> 01:03:40,297
- Oh, thank you, love.
- My pleasure, Ms. Shropshire.
1360
01:03:41,506 --> 01:03:44,092
So, to us.
1361
01:03:44,175 --> 01:03:46,052
Hellions in arms.
1362
01:03:48,262 --> 01:03:52,392
Mmm. I must tell you,
I've had such amazing feedback
1363
01:03:52,476 --> 01:03:53,727
for the Talk of the Town piece.
1364
01:03:53,810 --> 01:03:55,604
Far more than for anything
I've ever written.
1365
01:03:55,687 --> 01:03:57,063
Oh, I doubt that.
1366
01:03:57,146 --> 01:03:59,190
So, the book.
1367
01:03:59,273 --> 01:04:01,192
- Yes.
- I go back and forth,
1368
01:04:01,275 --> 01:04:02,652
back and forth, you know.
1369
01:04:02,736 --> 01:04:04,863
I never really wanted
to write about myself.
1370
01:04:04,946 --> 01:04:08,867
My fields are feminism,
environmentalism, and who am I?
1371
01:04:10,535 --> 01:04:15,499
But if I found someone really like-minded
who I could write it with,
1372
01:04:15,582 --> 01:04:19,711
somebody like yourself...
Well, that's intriguing.
1373
01:04:19,794 --> 01:04:21,963
I've never done anything like this before.
1374
01:04:22,046 --> 01:04:24,466
I don't care about that.
I only care that it's honest.
1375
01:04:24,549 --> 01:04:28,428
- I want to be seen as I am, warts and all.
- I'm great with warts.
1376
01:04:28,512 --> 01:04:32,349
Even if I waver,
if I let my vanity in the door,
1377
01:04:32,432 --> 01:04:34,393
you must remain steadfast.
1378
01:04:34,476 --> 01:04:37,228
Francis, what is that?
1379
01:04:37,311 --> 01:04:40,565
Uh, this is the fluke carpaccio
with lime and chilies.
1380
01:04:40,649 --> 01:04:42,025
Is it?
1381
01:04:42,108 --> 01:04:44,653
And who's the genius
who ordered this magnificent dish?
1382
01:04:44,736 --> 01:04:46,988
Uh, Dr. Reynolds over there.
1383
01:04:47,071 --> 01:04:48,698
Hmm...
1384
01:04:48,782 --> 01:04:50,909
Would it be possible
for this particular plate
1385
01:04:50,992 --> 01:04:53,453
to go missing and for you to rush back
1386
01:04:53,537 --> 01:04:55,789
and get another one
for the darling doctor over there?
1387
01:04:55,872 --> 01:04:57,416
Uh, of course, Naomi.
1388
01:05:00,960 --> 01:05:03,672
Oh, it's delicious.
1389
01:05:03,755 --> 01:05:06,591
Everything tastes so much better
when it's stolen.
1390
01:05:06,675 --> 01:05:08,593
Mmm, that is good.
1391
01:05:08,677 --> 01:05:11,054
Mmm, so, let's talk time frame.
1392
01:05:11,137 --> 01:05:14,933
I think it'll be about eight weeks
to work up a proposal for the publishers
1393
01:05:15,016 --> 01:05:16,643
and supply a sample chapter.
1394
01:05:16,726 --> 01:05:19,396
How much access can you give me?
Interviews are everything.
1395
01:05:19,479 --> 01:05:22,566
Oh, full access, darling.
Follow me everywhere except the loo.
1396
01:05:22,649 --> 01:05:25,151
Actually, the loo's fine, too.
1397
01:05:25,234 --> 01:05:28,279
- Francis, who's that burger for?
- Um, Ms. Kipney.
1398
01:05:28,363 --> 01:05:31,449
Trust me, she won't enjoy it.
Half of it's going to her dog.
1399
01:05:32,951 --> 01:05:35,995
So, um, the only thing left to discuss
is financial stuff.
1400
01:05:36,079 --> 01:05:37,539
The lawyers can do that, right?
1401
01:05:37,622 --> 01:05:40,709
It's 50-50. Split down the middle.
We're in this together. Yes?
1402
01:05:40,792 --> 01:05:42,168
Yes.
1403
01:05:42,251 --> 01:05:43,420
Right.
1404
01:05:43,503 --> 01:05:46,255
Now, keep your eyes peeled for dessert.
1405
01:05:48,382 --> 01:05:52,345
I can't believe it's only two o'clock.
Two o'clock in the afternoon.
1406
01:05:52,429 --> 01:05:54,347
I feel like I've been awake for days.
1407
01:05:54,431 --> 01:05:58,309
It's the jet lag. And the bourbon.
I drank straight bourbon.
1408
01:05:58,393 --> 01:06:00,728
I'm now a midday straight bourbon drinker.
1409
01:06:00,812 --> 01:06:04,566
I'm gonna have to keep up with Naomi
if I'm going to write this book.
1410
01:06:04,649 --> 01:06:08,695
She drinks as fast as she talks
and she never seems to get tipsy at all.
1411
01:06:08,778 --> 01:06:11,030
She seemed to get smarter
and more coherent.
1412
01:06:11,114 --> 01:06:14,200
Or maybe she just seems smarter
and more coherent.
1413
01:06:14,283 --> 01:06:15,409
This is great, right?
1414
01:06:15,494 --> 01:06:19,163
I mean, now I have something concrete
to talk about at my Condé Nast meeting,
1415
01:06:19,247 --> 01:06:24,210
and she mentioned publishing excerpts
in Vanity Fair, which would be amazing.
1416
01:06:24,293 --> 01:06:27,338
It's not really what I do,
but it's good for now.
1417
01:06:28,256 --> 01:06:30,634
And it's money.
Money is nice.
1418
01:06:30,717 --> 01:06:34,429
Now I have to hang out with her more
to get a handle on the first few chapters
1419
01:06:34,513 --> 01:06:36,681
so we can bid it out and see who wants it.
1420
01:06:36,765 --> 01:06:39,267
That starts in a month,
when she gets back from India.
1421
01:06:39,350 --> 01:06:41,978
Basically, I had a good day.
How was your day?
1422
01:06:42,061 --> 01:06:44,313
Well, I had my dry cleaning delivered.
1423
01:06:44,397 --> 01:06:45,815
- Oh, I think I win.
- I don't know.
1424
01:06:45,899 --> 01:06:47,400
I really like these pants, so...
1425
01:06:48,860 --> 01:06:50,945
- I'm glad it went well.
- It did.
1426
01:06:51,029 --> 01:06:54,115
- Tonight, I'll take you out to celebrate.
- I'd like that.
1427
01:06:54,198 --> 01:06:57,076
Tomorrow, I'll tell you all I've heard
about Naomi Shropshire.
1428
01:06:57,160 --> 01:06:59,120
I don't care if she's difficult.
1429
01:06:59,203 --> 01:07:01,748
Oh, she's difficult and a little weird.
1430
01:07:01,831 --> 01:07:03,875
Well, I like weird.
I was formed by weird.
1431
01:07:03,958 --> 01:07:06,044
It could be great,
and you deserve that.
1432
01:07:06,127 --> 01:07:08,213
I do. I do deserve that.
1433
01:07:08,296 --> 01:07:10,674
Did I tell you she lost her shoes
at the club?
1434
01:07:10,757 --> 01:07:13,217
- You did not.
- I didn't notice until we were leaving.
1435
01:07:13,301 --> 01:07:16,304
She was walking as if she had shoes on.
I mention it and she said,
1436
01:07:16,387 --> 01:07:19,933
"I left them somewhere."
How do you do that? It's snowing outside.
1437
01:07:20,016 --> 01:07:22,060
- See? Weird.
- Weird makes good copy.
1438
01:07:22,143 --> 01:07:25,522
- So does a great writer.
- Those pants did put you in a good mood.
1439
01:07:27,816 --> 01:07:29,025
Do you have to go back to work?
1440
01:07:29,108 --> 01:07:31,235
The pants can't be
the accomplishment of my day.
1441
01:07:31,319 --> 01:07:33,947
Plus, I have competition now.
You're going to be an author.
1442
01:07:34,030 --> 01:07:36,575
- It's not like I'm John McPhee.
- Yet.
1443
01:07:36,658 --> 01:07:38,827
I'll send the car for you at 8:00.
1444
01:07:38,910 --> 01:07:40,912
- I'm gonna use your desktop, okay?
- All yours.
1445
01:07:40,995 --> 01:07:44,290
- Where are those boxes I sent here?
- The maid stuffed them in the closet.
1446
01:07:44,374 --> 01:07:46,334
- I need to look for something.
- Your lucky outfit?
1447
01:07:46,417 --> 01:07:47,501
Do not mock.
1448
01:07:47,586 --> 01:07:49,128
I am not mocking.
It's a great outfit.
1449
01:07:49,212 --> 01:07:51,422
You were wearing it
when I saw you in Hamburg.
1450
01:07:52,799 --> 01:07:55,969
Hey, is there anything in here
that you don't want me to see?
1451
01:07:56,052 --> 01:07:59,263
- Like body parts?
- That would be on the list, sure.
1452
01:07:59,347 --> 01:08:02,851
No, like, uh... other girl's things.
1453
01:08:02,934 --> 01:08:04,561
- All clear.
- Okay.
1454
01:08:04,644 --> 01:08:07,689
Hey... I wouldn't do that.
1455
01:08:07,981 --> 01:08:10,191
Leave things around for you just to...
1456
01:08:10,274 --> 01:08:12,235
- I wasn't accusing...
- I know. I'm just...
1457
01:08:13,319 --> 01:08:17,323
Look, we have an agreement.
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
1458
01:08:17,407 --> 01:08:18,533
We do.
1459
01:08:19,533 --> 01:08:22,120
And when we leave Vegas,
we forget about Vegas
1460
01:08:22,203 --> 01:08:25,081
until we're back in Vegas
and then it's just us in Vegas until...
1461
01:08:25,164 --> 01:08:26,082
Throw me a rope, man.
1462
01:08:28,126 --> 01:08:29,085
I'll see you at 8:00.
1463
01:08:33,131 --> 01:08:35,675
- Your phone.
- What's it say?
1464
01:08:35,759 --> 01:08:37,636
"Paul dinner. Don't forget."
1465
01:08:37,719 --> 01:08:40,054
- Oh, crap.
- That's a lot of exclamation points.
1466
01:08:40,138 --> 01:08:42,306
- I forgot.
- It was the excitement about my pants.
1467
01:08:42,390 --> 01:08:44,642
- Go. Vegas.
- But... Yes. Vegas.
1468
01:08:46,645 --> 01:08:49,230
I've got to break up
with this guy.
1469
01:08:57,571 --> 01:09:00,617
- Excuse me, your password?
- Wafflehousebutterbob.
1470
01:09:00,700 --> 01:09:02,493
- Cute.
- Isn't it, though?
1471
01:09:02,576 --> 01:09:04,203
Okay, I'm here now.
1472
01:09:04,287 --> 01:09:06,956
Uh-huh. You two, park it over there.
1473
01:09:07,040 --> 01:09:10,918
No, there is no return policy.
What's she going to return? It's a baby.
1474
01:09:11,335 --> 01:09:12,712
I'll call and see if she wants it,
1475
01:09:12,796 --> 01:09:15,423
but last time it was Brad
who put the kibosh on it.
1476
01:09:15,506 --> 01:09:17,050
- Hello, Luke.
- Paris, hey.
1477
01:09:17,133 --> 01:09:19,135
Could you bring them a salad, no croutons?
1478
01:09:19,218 --> 01:09:20,929
Don't let them con you into Diet Cokes.
1479
01:09:21,012 --> 01:09:24,390
- I wanted to apologize for the other day.
- No need.
1480
01:09:24,473 --> 01:09:25,684
I've been in this racket for years
1481
01:09:25,767 --> 01:09:28,394
and sometimes I'm a little too
"let's get down to it."
1482
01:09:28,477 --> 01:09:30,772
- Think I may have scared you a bit.
- Not at all.
1483
01:09:30,855 --> 01:09:34,317
Look, you just need to know I'm good.
1484
01:09:34,400 --> 01:09:36,444
I'm the Pablo Escobar
of the fertility world.
1485
01:09:36,527 --> 01:09:38,988
I move the best product,
and I would like to help.
1486
01:09:39,072 --> 01:09:40,865
- I appreciate that, but...
- I get it.
1487
01:09:40,949 --> 01:09:43,242
You're a small-town boy.
You get your milk from a cow.
1488
01:09:43,326 --> 01:09:45,578
Actually, everybody gets their milk
from a cow.
1489
01:09:45,662 --> 01:09:48,122
So I thought I'd make it
a little more homey for you.
1490
01:09:48,206 --> 01:09:49,749
Girls, I'd like to you meet Luke Danes.
1491
01:09:49,833 --> 01:09:51,960
Jill and Jane are two of my top breeders.
1492
01:09:52,043 --> 01:09:53,169
Excuse me?
1493
01:09:53,252 --> 01:09:55,338
I thought you could all sit and talk.
1494
01:09:55,421 --> 01:09:58,007
Ask them questions.
Challenge Jill to an arm wrestle.
1495
01:09:58,091 --> 01:10:00,218
I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.
1496
01:10:05,598 --> 01:10:06,808
Dragonfly Inn.
1497
01:10:06,891 --> 01:10:08,351
Michel, put Lorelai on the phone.
1498
01:10:08,434 --> 01:10:10,478
- Who is calling?
- Michel!
1499
01:10:10,561 --> 01:10:13,272
Oh, Luke.
How nice to hear your siren call.
1500
01:10:13,356 --> 01:10:17,568
Find Lorelai and tell her that there are
two arm-wrestling breeders here
1501
01:10:17,651 --> 01:10:19,863
- and I need her help!
- What?
1502
01:10:21,906 --> 01:10:23,116
Paris?
1503
01:10:23,199 --> 01:10:25,326
- Rory, hi!
- What are you doing here?
1504
01:10:25,409 --> 01:10:26,745
- Oh, I'm working.
- Here?
1505
01:10:26,828 --> 01:10:28,329
Wherever there's
an old or defective uterus.
1506
01:10:28,412 --> 01:10:30,749
- I did not hang up, Michel!
- You eating?
1507
01:10:30,832 --> 01:10:33,376
No, I'm just grabbing coffee.
So jet-lagged.
1508
01:10:33,459 --> 01:10:35,962
I'm heading to your place.
Oh, can I crash at your place?
1509
01:10:36,045 --> 01:10:38,297
- Absolutely, you have the key.
- Find her!
1510
01:10:38,381 --> 01:10:40,842
I have to run an errand first.
You wanna come with?
1511
01:10:40,925 --> 01:10:44,762
Sure. Ladies, I'll be back in a few.
Close the deal.
1512
01:10:45,805 --> 01:10:48,557
Excuse me?
I don't think the Wi-Fi is working.
1513
01:10:48,641 --> 01:10:51,185
Capital "B" on "butter."
Yeah, I'm still here, Michel.
1514
01:10:51,269 --> 01:10:53,312
- Luke!
- Not now, Taylor.
1515
01:10:53,396 --> 01:10:55,940
Well, then when?
I have called, I've left messages,
1516
01:10:56,024 --> 01:10:58,234
I even slipped notes
under your door at night.
1517
01:10:58,317 --> 01:10:59,778
Which I turned over to the FBI.
1518
01:10:59,861 --> 01:11:03,572
I know for a fact
that you have had septic tank issues.
1519
01:11:03,656 --> 01:11:06,450
Taylor, do you see
people in here trying to eat?
1520
01:11:06,534 --> 01:11:08,745
I do. And you know
what happens after they eat?
1521
01:11:08,828 --> 01:11:10,872
- Oh, jeez...
- It's still not working.
1522
01:11:10,955 --> 01:11:14,500
Luke, I love this town.
Do you love this town?
1523
01:11:14,583 --> 01:11:15,626
- No.
- Excuse me.
1524
01:11:15,709 --> 01:11:17,711
Could the capital "B" be on "bob,"
not "butter"?
1525
01:11:17,796 --> 01:11:21,049
I think this town
is destined for greatness.
1526
01:11:21,132 --> 01:11:22,759
All the pieces are there.
1527
01:11:22,842 --> 01:11:25,344
It's just a matter
of finding that special something
1528
01:11:25,428 --> 01:11:27,471
- to put it over the top.
- Like a sewer system.
1529
01:11:27,555 --> 01:11:30,099
Yes, because
when you have a sewer system,
1530
01:11:30,183 --> 01:11:33,061
then you're part of something
bigger than yourself.
1531
01:11:33,144 --> 01:11:36,480
- Like the universe, only more hygienic.
- Taylor...
1532
01:11:36,564 --> 01:11:38,607
I'm sorry.
The password is still not working.
1533
01:11:38,691 --> 01:11:42,403
Of course the password's not working!
It's fake!
1534
01:11:42,486 --> 01:11:44,697
He has been giving out fake passwords
1535
01:11:44,781 --> 01:11:47,366
ever since he got Wi-Fi
in this damn place!
1536
01:11:47,450 --> 01:11:49,577
How stupid are you people anyway?
1537
01:11:49,660 --> 01:11:51,454
He doesn't want
to give out his password
1538
01:11:51,537 --> 01:11:54,290
because he doesn't want you here
checking your Facebook,
1539
01:11:54,373 --> 01:11:57,752
or answering your e-mails,
or YouTubing Zoella,
1540
01:11:57,836 --> 01:11:59,712
or whatever the hell it is you're doing.
1541
01:11:59,796 --> 01:12:04,342
This isn't your office. It's a diner!
Go home!
1542
01:12:04,425 --> 01:12:07,178
Pay for Wi-Fi! I do.
1543
01:12:07,261 --> 01:12:09,513
I... can't...
1544
01:12:09,597 --> 01:12:12,058
You know what? Never mind.
1545
01:12:12,141 --> 01:12:16,103
I was wrong. You don't deserve
perpetually unclogged toilets.
1546
01:12:24,612 --> 01:12:26,030
Taylor!
1547
01:12:29,575 --> 01:12:30,659
Really?
1548
01:12:32,453 --> 01:12:33,872
Now that I've gotten...
1549
01:12:36,916 --> 01:12:38,626
Hell of a week.
1550
01:12:38,709 --> 01:12:41,462
♪ Oh, friends ♪
1551
01:12:41,545 --> 01:12:45,049
♪ Waving from a passenger train ♪
1552
01:12:45,967 --> 01:12:48,386
♪ Oh, boy ♪
1553
01:12:48,469 --> 01:12:52,681
♪ Familiar to me in impossible ways ♪
1554
01:12:52,765 --> 01:12:55,518
♪ A new day ♪
1555
01:12:55,601 --> 01:13:00,731
♪ A picture in my hands
Of who I used to be ♪
1556
01:13:00,814 --> 01:13:02,150
- Hey!
- Crap!
1557
01:13:02,233 --> 01:13:03,442
Come back here!
1558
01:13:03,526 --> 01:13:05,153
Stop it!
What is wrong with you?
1559
01:13:05,236 --> 01:13:07,906
I told you!
My town, my corner!
1560
01:13:07,989 --> 01:13:09,365
But I'm your sister!
1561
01:13:09,448 --> 01:13:11,242
- No proof of that.
- Ask Mom!
1562
01:13:11,325 --> 01:13:13,827
Mom lies!
You better run, little sister!
1563
01:13:13,912 --> 01:13:17,248
It was over the minute
he wanted to do something creative.
1564
01:13:17,331 --> 01:13:19,876
Wow, you and Doyle split.
1565
01:13:19,959 --> 01:13:22,921
He's a screenwriter now.
Have you been to the movies lately?
1566
01:13:23,004 --> 01:13:25,381
- I know.
- Suddenly he's in jeans
1567
01:13:25,464 --> 01:13:29,468
and wearing faded $200 rock T-shirts
with bands on them he's never seen.
1568
01:13:29,552 --> 01:13:32,471
He's flying out to "the coast,"
as if this is not a coast.
1569
01:13:32,555 --> 01:13:35,016
He drinks vodka
because it has less carbs.
1570
01:13:35,099 --> 01:13:39,520
Then he started selling things
and I realized, "This is going to stick."
1571
01:13:39,603 --> 01:13:41,105
I am so sorry.
1572
01:13:41,189 --> 01:13:43,441
It's fine.
I'll kill him in court.
1573
01:13:43,524 --> 01:13:44,567
Sure.
1574
01:13:44,650 --> 01:13:47,236
I'll be using that Def Leppard T-shirt
to clean my windows.
1575
01:13:47,320 --> 01:13:49,780
I've been waiting a half hour!
It's freezing!
1576
01:13:49,863 --> 01:13:53,117
You shouldn't have
four-starred me last time.
1577
01:13:53,201 --> 01:13:55,536
Don't you maybe wanna
try to work it out nicely?
1578
01:13:55,619 --> 01:13:59,165
You guys have kids and you were
a good team at one point.
1579
01:13:59,248 --> 01:14:01,918
That was before Brett Ratner
gave him the keys to his pool house.
1580
01:14:02,001 --> 01:14:06,172
Okay, ladies.
You have arrived.
1581
01:14:06,255 --> 01:14:09,717
- Thanks, Kirk.
- You're welcome. Come again.
1582
01:14:09,800 --> 01:14:13,012
- And does Lane have an extension cord?
- I'll see.
1583
01:14:13,930 --> 01:14:15,473
I know you guys were friends,
1584
01:14:15,556 --> 01:14:18,059
but if push came to shove,
and we had to make T-shirts...
1585
01:14:18,142 --> 01:14:20,103
- Team Paris all the way.
- Thanks.
1586
01:14:20,186 --> 01:14:22,730
Can you say he felt you up at a party
for the deposition?
1587
01:14:22,813 --> 01:14:23,647
No.
1588
01:14:23,731 --> 01:14:26,650
You're all I've got.
Our nanny looks like Benicio Del Toro.
1589
01:14:26,734 --> 01:14:27,735
Oh, you're here.
1590
01:14:27,818 --> 01:14:30,238
Remember to call my mom
to rate me!
1591
01:14:34,783 --> 01:14:35,909
Lane, you remember Paris.
1592
01:14:35,994 --> 01:14:37,453
- I do. Hi.
- Hi.
1593
01:14:37,536 --> 01:14:40,539
- Um, do you still need your boxes?
- Yes, definitely.
1594
01:14:41,457 --> 01:14:43,167
Oh, Kirk, come on!
1595
01:14:44,127 --> 01:14:46,587
- I had Zach pull them out for you.
- You're welcome.
1596
01:14:46,670 --> 01:14:48,922
- Thanks, Zach.
- Don't look at me. I'm not me.
1597
01:14:49,007 --> 01:14:51,092
- What are you trying to find?
- My lucky outfit.
1598
01:14:51,175 --> 01:14:53,970
- Is it, like, a cheerleader uniform?
- Yes, exactly like that.
1599
01:14:54,053 --> 01:14:55,304
- Is this your house?
- Yep.
1600
01:14:55,388 --> 01:14:57,265
- Who gets it when you split?
- What?
1601
01:14:57,348 --> 01:14:58,808
- Is he him yet?
- No!
1602
01:14:58,891 --> 01:15:00,518
Rory, are you staying in the spare room?
1603
01:15:00,601 --> 01:15:02,686
- No, it's all yours, Brian.
- Did you get beer?
1604
01:15:02,770 --> 01:15:04,022
There should be some in there.
1605
01:15:04,105 --> 01:15:06,440
- Uh, can I help?
- Um, yeah. Look through this box.
1606
01:15:06,524 --> 01:15:08,359
I'm looking for a red dress, full skirt.
1607
01:15:08,442 --> 01:15:12,071
Okay, red dress, full skirt.
Oh, this is nice. Wear this.
1608
01:15:12,155 --> 01:15:13,614
No, it has to be my lucky outfit.
1609
01:15:13,697 --> 01:15:16,784
My Condé Nast meeting is in two days
and I have to find that outfit.
1610
01:15:16,867 --> 01:15:19,036
- Is he him yet?
- No, he's not!
1611
01:15:19,120 --> 01:15:21,372
I didn't ask for this promotion, okay?
Back off.
1612
01:15:21,455 --> 01:15:24,000
There's nothing wrong with
bringing home the bacon.
1613
01:15:24,083 --> 01:15:25,626
Well, it's not in here.
1614
01:15:25,709 --> 01:15:27,878
Okay. I'm me.
1615
01:15:27,961 --> 01:15:30,506
Steve! Kwan! Come in here!
1616
01:15:30,589 --> 01:15:32,633
Help your Aunt Rory find her outfit.
1617
01:15:32,716 --> 01:15:34,218
- Who did your work?
- What?
1618
01:15:34,302 --> 01:15:36,220
- Them. Friedman?
- I...
1619
01:15:36,304 --> 01:15:38,722
- Rasouli? Mendelssohn?
- I just had them.
1620
01:15:38,806 --> 01:15:39,932
Fine. Don't tell me.
1621
01:15:42,518 --> 01:15:43,436
Hey.
1622
01:15:43,519 --> 01:15:45,563
To answer your 43,000
frantic voicemails,
1623
01:15:45,646 --> 01:15:47,523
you do not have anything
at the dry cleaners.
1624
01:15:47,606 --> 01:15:50,484
- Rats.
- Seriously, it was Kopelson, right?
1625
01:15:50,568 --> 01:15:53,237
It wasn't natural.
Your husband's junk isn't symmetrical.
1626
01:15:53,320 --> 01:15:54,697
Wait, what?
1627
01:15:55,573 --> 01:15:58,076
It's not here.
Maybe it's at Grandma's.
1628
01:15:58,159 --> 01:15:59,868
- How was London?
- Great.
1629
01:15:59,952 --> 01:16:01,995
- Where'd you stay?
- With Didi. Same as always.
1630
01:16:02,080 --> 01:16:06,125
I love that you have a friend named Didi.
Makes you sound so Fridays on ABC.
1631
01:16:06,209 --> 01:16:07,626
Have you spoken to Grandma lately?
1632
01:16:07,710 --> 01:16:11,964
- Why?
- It's been quiet regarding the blowup.
1633
01:16:12,048 --> 01:16:13,674
- I've been busy.
- You should call her.
1634
01:16:13,757 --> 01:16:16,009
- De-ice this situation.
- I will.
1635
01:16:16,094 --> 01:16:17,928
- When?
- When it feels right.
1636
01:16:18,011 --> 01:16:20,556
- You are both being stubborn.
- Well, she started it.
1637
01:16:20,639 --> 01:16:23,017
Aren't we supposed to cut her
all sorts of slack right now?
1638
01:16:23,101 --> 01:16:24,352
I mean, she lost her husband.
1639
01:16:24,435 --> 01:16:26,854
Did you ever imagine
there'd be a Grandma without a Grandpa?
1640
01:16:28,064 --> 01:16:30,191
- No.
- Check on her.
1641
01:16:30,274 --> 01:16:31,692
Fine. I'll check on her.
1642
01:16:31,775 --> 01:16:34,112
Good. Maybe while you're there,
you can find my outfit.
1643
01:16:34,195 --> 01:16:37,030
Wow, the student surpasses the master.
1644
01:16:38,532 --> 01:16:41,619
- Great.
- What?
1645
01:16:41,702 --> 01:16:43,662
My Condé Nast meeting got pushed again.
1646
01:16:43,746 --> 01:16:47,416
Aw, sorry, hon.
So you don't need that outfit after all?
1647
01:16:47,500 --> 01:16:49,377
You're going.
1648
01:16:51,003 --> 01:16:52,505
- Oh, man.
- What now?
1649
01:16:52,588 --> 01:16:53,922
Poor Paul.
1650
01:16:54,006 --> 01:16:56,800
- Hey, you have got to...
- I know, I know.
1651
01:17:01,430 --> 01:17:03,516
- All right, let's do this.
- Yes!
1652
01:17:03,599 --> 01:17:05,601
So, are they serious?
1653
01:17:05,684 --> 01:17:06,810
One, two!
1654
01:17:17,530 --> 01:17:22,785
♪ Pretty soon now
You know I'm gonna make a comeback ♪
1655
01:17:22,868 --> 01:17:25,413
♪ And like the birds and the bees
In the trees ♪
1656
01:17:25,496 --> 01:17:27,665
♪ It's a sure-fire smash ♪
1657
01:17:29,291 --> 01:17:33,003
♪ I'll speak
To the masses through the media ♪
1658
01:17:34,255 --> 01:17:38,676
♪ But if you got anything to say to me
You better say it with cash ♪
1659
01:17:39,802 --> 01:17:42,763
♪ 'Cause I've got the trash
And you got the cash ♪
1660
01:17:42,846 --> 01:17:45,349
♪ Baby, we should get along fine ♪
1661
01:17:45,433 --> 01:17:48,311
♪ So give me all your money
You know I think I'm funny ♪
1662
01:17:48,394 --> 01:17:51,522
♪ Can't you see me smiling?
Can't you see me laugh, I'm the man ♪
1663
01:17:51,605 --> 01:17:53,524
♪ I'm the man, I'm the man, I'm the man ♪
1664
01:17:53,607 --> 01:17:54,608
♪ I'm the man ♪
1665
01:17:54,692 --> 01:17:56,360
- ♪ That gave you the hula hoop ♪
- ♪ I'm the man ♪
1666
01:17:56,444 --> 01:17:57,611
♪ I'm the man ♪
1667
01:17:57,695 --> 01:17:58,987
♪ I'm the man, I'm the man, I'm the man ♪
1668
01:17:59,071 --> 01:18:01,740
♪ I'm the man that gave you the yo-yo ♪
1669
01:18:03,201 --> 01:18:06,036
- ♪ I'm the man ♪
- ♪ I'm the man, I'm the man, I'm the man ♪
1670
01:18:06,119 --> 01:18:08,831
- ♪ I'm the man ♪
- ♪ I'm the man, I'm the man, I'm the man ♪
1671
01:18:08,914 --> 01:18:11,750
- ♪ I'm the man, yeah ♪
- ♪ I'm the man, I'm the man, I'm the man ♪
1672
01:18:18,966 --> 01:18:21,594
- Mom?
- Hola, hello.
1673
01:18:32,688 --> 01:18:33,856
Mom!
1674
01:18:38,611 --> 01:18:40,529
Take that box
and put it downstairs.
1675
01:18:40,613 --> 01:18:42,531
Come back up here
and get these presents.
1676
01:18:42,615 --> 01:18:45,951
- Mom, are you here?
- Lorelai? I didn't know you were coming.
1677
01:18:46,034 --> 01:18:47,828
Holy shit!
1678
01:18:47,911 --> 01:18:50,914
Berta, these boxes need to go outside.
1679
01:18:50,998 --> 01:18:53,000
- What? What? What?
- They go outside.
1680
01:18:53,083 --> 01:18:55,336
Take the boxes. Oh, good.
1681
01:18:55,419 --> 01:18:57,045
- Did you call?
- Did I?
1682
01:18:57,129 --> 01:18:58,922
Because today is a very bad day.
1683
01:18:59,006 --> 01:19:01,133
What is going on?
Who are all these people?
1684
01:19:01,217 --> 01:19:04,553
- Well, that's Berta.
- I know Berta.
1685
01:19:04,637 --> 01:19:05,679
That's Berta's husband.
1686
01:19:05,763 --> 01:19:08,266
No, that's Berta's husband,
that's his brother,
1687
01:19:08,349 --> 01:19:11,310
- and I think those are someone's parents.
- And the kids?
1688
01:19:11,394 --> 01:19:14,187
I thought they were all hers,
but now I'm not sure.
1689
01:19:14,272 --> 01:19:15,356
No, this goes.
1690
01:19:15,439 --> 01:19:19,067
Mom... what...
Can we get a minute?
1691
01:19:19,151 --> 01:19:23,281
Fine.
Uh, could you all give us a minute alone?
1692
01:19:23,364 --> 01:19:25,073
Mom, "alone" looks a lot like gas.
1693
01:19:25,157 --> 01:19:27,368
I don't know
how else to communicate with them.
1694
01:19:27,451 --> 01:19:30,329
Leonard Marlin's daughter works at the UN.
I had her come over.
1695
01:19:30,413 --> 01:19:32,331
She doesn't know
what language they speak, either.
1696
01:19:32,415 --> 01:19:34,292
Mom, what is going on here?
1697
01:19:34,375 --> 01:19:36,585
- You mean with the house?
- Start with the house.
1698
01:19:36,669 --> 01:19:38,671
I'm decluttering my life.
1699
01:19:38,754 --> 01:19:40,298
- You know Marie Kondo?
- No.
1700
01:19:40,381 --> 01:19:41,632
- You don't?
- No.
1701
01:19:41,715 --> 01:19:43,384
- She's Japanese.
- Okay.
1702
01:19:43,467 --> 01:19:44,968
- You still don't know her?
- She's Japanese?
1703
01:19:45,052 --> 01:19:46,094
- Yes.
- No.
1704
01:19:46,178 --> 01:19:49,598
She wrote a best-selling book
on decluttering. So, I'm decluttering.
1705
01:19:49,682 --> 01:19:51,559
I was starting to feel claustrophobic.
1706
01:19:51,642 --> 01:19:55,020
I'd wake up in the night feeling like
the house is closing in on me.
1707
01:19:55,103 --> 01:19:57,565
- Like I couldn't breathe, you know?
- Oh, yes, I know.
1708
01:19:57,648 --> 01:20:00,276
One of the ladies in my garden club
bought this book,
1709
01:20:00,359 --> 01:20:02,528
The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up.
1710
01:20:02,611 --> 01:20:05,573
She said it made everything better.
Are you paying attention?
1711
01:20:05,656 --> 01:20:08,326
- The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up?
- You know it?
1712
01:20:08,409 --> 01:20:10,328
Written by that Japanese woman,
Marie Kondo?
1713
01:20:10,411 --> 01:20:11,579
- Yes.
- No.
1714
01:20:11,662 --> 01:20:13,121
Well, people swear by her.
1715
01:20:13,205 --> 01:20:17,501
She tells you to take everything you own
and put it in piles on the ground.
1716
01:20:17,585 --> 01:20:20,629
Then you pick up each possession
and you hold it.
1717
01:20:20,713 --> 01:20:24,508
If it brings you joy, you keep it,
and if it doesn't, out it goes.
1718
01:20:26,093 --> 01:20:27,595
No joy.
1719
01:20:27,678 --> 01:20:30,389
- He's taking the dining room chairs.
- They don't bring me joy.
1720
01:20:30,473 --> 01:20:34,643
This box needs to be taped.
1721
01:20:34,727 --> 01:20:36,895
Oh, by the way,
if I get a terminal disease,
1722
01:20:36,979 --> 01:20:40,065
I want to move to Washington State to die.
They let you do that there.
1723
01:20:40,148 --> 01:20:41,525
Die? They let you die?
1724
01:20:41,609 --> 01:20:43,861
With dignity and in your own time frame.
1725
01:20:43,944 --> 01:20:47,280
I'll die there and then you need
to ship me back here for burial,
1726
01:20:47,365 --> 01:20:49,992
which costs a fortune, I found out.
1727
01:20:50,075 --> 01:20:54,287
So, in the safe there's an envelope
labeled "body-shipping cash."
1728
01:20:54,372 --> 01:20:56,039
I could also go to Vermont,
1729
01:20:56,123 --> 01:20:58,834
but we vacationed there once
and it was terrible.
1730
01:20:58,917 --> 01:21:00,043
Squirrels.
1731
01:21:00,127 --> 01:21:02,295
So, Washington it is.
1732
01:21:03,714 --> 01:21:04,840
It's the middle of the day.
1733
01:21:04,923 --> 01:21:06,967
Taste it.
See if it brings you joy.
1734
01:21:08,719 --> 01:21:12,055
Oh, God.
I haven't sat down in six hours.
1735
01:21:12,139 --> 01:21:13,349
Cheers.
1736
01:21:17,561 --> 01:21:20,022
So come on, Mom, talk to me.
1737
01:21:21,023 --> 01:21:23,025
Why are you wearing jeans?
1738
01:21:23,108 --> 01:21:25,569
- What?
- Because it's terrifying.
1739
01:21:25,653 --> 01:21:27,655
I started this process with my closet.
1740
01:21:27,738 --> 01:21:30,449
Nothing I owned brought me joy,
so I ran out of clothes.
1741
01:21:30,533 --> 01:21:31,784
I don't know where I got these.
1742
01:21:31,867 --> 01:21:33,827
- They're mine.
- They are?
1743
01:21:33,911 --> 01:21:36,288
Did you not notice
the Billy Squier patch on the butt?
1744
01:21:36,372 --> 01:21:39,583
- You can have them back.
- I have not been pining for them.
1745
01:21:39,667 --> 01:21:41,919
I have to get back to work.
Kitchen's next.
1746
01:21:42,002 --> 01:21:43,837
Stop.
You're not gonna have anything left.
1747
01:21:43,921 --> 01:21:46,507
That's okay.
What I do have will bring me joy.
1748
01:21:46,590 --> 01:21:47,800
Mom...
1749
01:21:49,259 --> 01:21:51,303
nothing is gonna bring you joy right now.
1750
01:21:51,887 --> 01:21:54,306
Nothing. Your husband just died.
1751
01:21:54,390 --> 01:21:58,727
When some time passes and you realize
you've given away all of your stuff,
1752
01:21:58,811 --> 01:22:00,813
you're going to track down
and kill Marie Kondo.
1753
01:22:00,896 --> 01:22:03,190
Then you're gonna go to jail
wearing those jeans,
1754
01:22:03,273 --> 01:22:06,610
and the Winchester Mystery Family
will be living here in your ball gowns.
1755
01:22:08,361 --> 01:22:10,531
- I don't know how to do this.
- Do what?
1756
01:22:10,614 --> 01:22:12,866
- Live my life.
- Oh, Mom...
1757
01:22:12,950 --> 01:22:14,785
I don't know
what to do or where to go.
1758
01:22:14,868 --> 01:22:16,954
I've forgotten
which side of the bed to sleep on.
1759
01:22:17,037 --> 01:22:19,498
I was married for 50 years.
1760
01:22:19,582 --> 01:22:20,999
Half of me is gone.
1761
01:22:22,167 --> 01:22:23,669
Ah, you don't understand.
1762
01:22:23,752 --> 01:22:26,254
- I understand.
- You can't understand. You're not married.
1763
01:22:26,338 --> 01:22:29,174
- Luke and I are as good as married.
- No, you're roommates.
1764
01:22:29,257 --> 01:22:31,719
Someday you'll go off
and find another roommate.
1765
01:22:31,802 --> 01:22:34,721
I had a real partner
for 50 years and now I'm alone.
1766
01:22:38,767 --> 01:22:40,686
Are you still going to that grief group?
1767
01:22:40,769 --> 01:22:42,980
- Oh, God, no.
- Why not?
1768
01:22:43,063 --> 01:22:45,232
All those women
with red noses and Skechers.
1769
01:22:45,315 --> 01:22:48,569
- All they do is sit around and complain.
- What an annoying grief group.
1770
01:22:48,652 --> 01:22:51,530
When it's my turn,
there's no time left to talk about me.
1771
01:22:51,614 --> 01:22:53,949
- Right.
- I have problems. I can't help them.
1772
01:22:54,032 --> 01:22:57,077
Well, what about seeing someone
one-on-one?
1773
01:22:57,661 --> 01:22:59,705
- What do you mean?
- You know, just you and them.
1774
01:22:59,788 --> 01:23:01,499
- Who?
- Just a person.
1775
01:23:01,582 --> 01:23:03,459
- What kind of person?
- A normal person
1776
01:23:03,542 --> 01:23:06,003
with an office and a prescription pad.
1777
01:23:06,086 --> 01:23:08,213
- You mean a psychiatrist.
- That could work, too.
1778
01:23:08,296 --> 01:23:11,258
- You want me to go to therapy.
- Till you get back on your feet.
1779
01:23:11,341 --> 01:23:14,052
I knew it. You have been trying
to get me to a therapist
1780
01:23:14,136 --> 01:23:15,971
ever since you saw that Tony Soprano show.
1781
01:23:16,054 --> 01:23:18,098
I have not.
He did make it look cool though, right?
1782
01:23:18,181 --> 01:23:20,225
- No.
- What's the big deal?
1783
01:23:20,308 --> 01:23:21,560
I'm not crazy.
1784
01:23:21,644 --> 01:23:24,396
No. You're in pain.
This is uncharted territory.
1785
01:23:24,480 --> 01:23:26,690
If it might help, what's the harm?
1786
01:23:28,192 --> 01:23:30,861
- I'll think about it.
- Okay. But really consider it.
1787
01:23:31,862 --> 01:23:33,989
- I will.
- And if you do it, commit.
1788
01:23:34,072 --> 01:23:35,323
You know, really go for it.
1789
01:23:35,407 --> 01:23:37,034
- I will.
- Jump in with both feet.
1790
01:23:37,117 --> 01:23:40,078
Five, six days a week.
Really Woody Allen the hell out of it.
1791
01:23:40,162 --> 01:23:42,372
- I got it.
- 'Cause he's totally normal now.
1792
01:23:42,455 --> 01:23:43,957
I promise, Lorelai.
1793
01:23:47,252 --> 01:23:49,213
I'd better try to get my bedroom set back.
1794
01:23:49,922 --> 01:23:52,841
Okay, but first,
don't you think you want to...
1795
01:23:52,925 --> 01:23:53,926
What?
1796
01:23:55,302 --> 01:23:57,012
Oh, God, yes.
1797
01:24:13,821 --> 01:24:15,363
♪ Hey, sweet Annie ♪
1798
01:24:15,447 --> 01:24:17,407
♪ Don't take it so bad ♪
1799
01:24:18,784 --> 01:24:21,912
♪ You know the summer's coming soon ♪
1800
01:24:23,288 --> 01:24:28,251
♪ Though the interstate is choking
Under salty, dirty sand ♪
1801
01:24:28,335 --> 01:24:32,047
♪ And it seems the sun
Is hiding from the moon ♪
1802
01:24:33,465 --> 01:24:38,511
♪ The snow is coming down
On our New England town ♪
1803
01:24:38,596 --> 01:24:42,307
♪ And it's been falling all day long... ♪
1804
01:24:43,475 --> 01:24:44,727
Oy! Danesy-boy!
1805
01:24:44,810 --> 01:24:48,480
So dressing up of the dog
extends to outside of the house now, huh?
1806
01:24:48,564 --> 01:24:50,816
He wanted to go public.
It's a whole new world.
1807
01:24:50,899 --> 01:24:52,943
- Uh-huh.
- I can only support with love,
1808
01:24:53,026 --> 01:24:54,027
not judgment.
1809
01:24:54,111 --> 01:24:55,738
- So that's me.
- Yeah.
1810
01:24:55,821 --> 01:24:58,073
- And that's...
- It's his order pad and pencil.
1811
01:24:58,156 --> 01:25:00,075
Sure, sure.
And the baseball cap?
1812
01:25:00,158 --> 01:25:01,785
His head's too big.
None of yours fit.
1813
01:25:01,869 --> 01:25:04,287
- Oh, okay. Let's get a drink.
- Okay.
1814
01:25:04,371 --> 01:25:05,497
My man!
1815
01:25:07,249 --> 01:25:08,876
- Do I want to know what that's...
- No.
1816
01:25:08,959 --> 01:25:10,210
You don't.
1817
01:25:10,293 --> 01:25:11,754
Okay. Oh.
1818
01:25:11,837 --> 01:25:14,297
- What?
- Uh, nothing.
1819
01:25:14,381 --> 01:25:16,592
- What's up?
- It's just Paris
1820
01:25:16,675 --> 01:25:19,052
sending me pictures of potential,
you know...
1821
01:25:19,136 --> 01:25:21,138
She's tall.
Want to start a basketball team?
1822
01:25:21,221 --> 01:25:23,223
Uh, didn't you say we're not doing that?
1823
01:25:23,306 --> 01:25:25,684
Oh, I e-mailed her
that we're tabling it.
1824
01:25:25,768 --> 01:25:27,102
- Tabling it?
- Back-burnering it?
1825
01:25:27,185 --> 01:25:28,353
Just tell her no.
1826
01:25:28,436 --> 01:25:29,521
- That's what tabling means.
- No.
1827
01:25:29,605 --> 01:25:32,524
That means you'll do it eventually.
Are we doing it eventually?
1828
01:25:32,608 --> 01:25:34,484
- No. You said no.
- And you said no.
1829
01:25:34,568 --> 01:25:35,611
We both said no.
1830
01:25:37,946 --> 01:25:38,947
So...
1831
01:25:42,325 --> 01:25:44,912
Don't need a surrogate.
1832
01:25:44,995 --> 01:25:47,080
Done. Let's get that drink.
1833
01:25:47,706 --> 01:25:48,624
Okay.
1834
01:25:49,499 --> 01:25:51,418
Two big gloggs.
1835
01:25:51,501 --> 01:25:53,921
Hey, Kirk.
Taking the day off of Ööö-bering?
1836
01:25:54,004 --> 01:25:56,715
- I don't know what you're talking about.
- You know, Ööö-ber.
1837
01:25:56,799 --> 01:25:58,466
- No.
- Kirk, Ööö...
1838
01:25:58,550 --> 01:25:59,802
Stop making that noise.
1839
01:25:59,885 --> 01:26:04,181
If anyone from the Uber corporation
or their handsome attorneys contacts you,
1840
01:26:04,264 --> 01:26:06,099
please tell them it was my brother
1841
01:26:06,183 --> 01:26:10,646
and not me, who recklessly violated
trademark laws and perpetrated fraud.
1842
01:26:10,729 --> 01:26:13,691
Dirk has always been a disappointment
to the family.
1843
01:26:13,774 --> 01:26:14,775
Your gloggs.
1844
01:26:14,858 --> 01:26:16,526
- Kirk...
- Next!
1845
01:26:16,609 --> 01:26:19,029
Okay. Your car is done.
1846
01:26:19,112 --> 01:26:22,741
I do not guarantee it will make it home,
or even out of the gas station.
1847
01:26:22,825 --> 01:26:24,159
I bet it will.
1848
01:26:24,242 --> 01:26:26,745
Come get it now. It's idling.
I'm afraid to turn it off.
1849
01:26:26,829 --> 01:26:28,538
Okay, we'll be right there.
Love you.
1850
01:26:28,621 --> 01:26:29,832
Buy a new car.
1851
01:26:29,915 --> 01:26:32,250
- Where's Paul Anka?
- He's chasing ice skaters.
1852
01:26:32,334 --> 01:26:34,544
Oh, boy. Hi, Mom.
1853
01:26:34,627 --> 01:26:36,922
- You answered. You never answer.
- I did.
1854
01:26:37,005 --> 01:26:38,924
- Sure I do.
- Are you drunk?
1855
01:26:39,007 --> 01:26:40,258
Mom, what can I help you with?
1856
01:26:40,342 --> 01:26:42,678
I just wanted you to know
that I took your advice.
1857
01:26:42,761 --> 01:26:45,013
- Are you drunk?
- I found a therapist.
1858
01:26:45,097 --> 01:26:47,850
- You're kidding.
- Linda in my garden club is bipolar,
1859
01:26:47,933 --> 01:26:50,310
so I asked if she had someone
she could recommend.
1860
01:26:50,393 --> 01:26:52,479
- Good thinking.
- She's a lovely woman.
1861
01:26:52,562 --> 01:26:54,106
- Linda?
- No. The therapist.
1862
01:26:54,189 --> 01:26:56,734
Linda's a nightmare.
She cries if the tea is cold.
1863
01:26:56,817 --> 01:27:00,696
But the therapist is wonderful.
Very tasteful office.
1864
01:27:00,779 --> 01:27:02,447
She burns a candle
that smells so delicious,
1865
01:27:02,530 --> 01:27:03,741
I bought one to have at home.
1866
01:27:03,824 --> 01:27:04,992
Sounds great.
1867
01:27:05,075 --> 01:27:06,827
- I could get one for you.
- Sure.
1868
01:27:06,910 --> 01:27:10,330
I go there once a week and we just talk.
Talk about anything.
1869
01:27:10,413 --> 01:27:13,500
- Or nothing if there's nothing on my mind.
- Sounds great, Mom.
1870
01:27:13,583 --> 01:27:15,668
She told me to get rid
of the Marie Kondo book.
1871
01:27:15,753 --> 01:27:17,921
I like her already.
Hey, I did something right.
1872
01:27:18,005 --> 01:27:19,131
Law of averages.
1873
01:27:19,214 --> 01:27:22,926
I bought a notebook so I can write down
things I want to discuss with her.
1874
01:27:23,010 --> 01:27:25,428
- That way I won't forget.
- Very sensible.
1875
01:27:25,512 --> 01:27:27,848
I told her it was your idea
that I come see her.
1876
01:27:27,931 --> 01:27:28,932
You did?
1877
01:27:29,015 --> 01:27:31,768
I did. Thank you, Lorelai.
1878
01:27:31,852 --> 01:27:35,022
Thank you for suggesting it.
I think it's exactly what I needed.
1879
01:27:35,105 --> 01:27:38,441
Wow, I'm so glad, Mom. Really.
1880
01:27:38,525 --> 01:27:41,486
- I'd love for you to meet her sometime.
- Sure.
1881
01:27:41,569 --> 01:27:43,280
Maybe next time I go, you could come by.
1882
01:27:43,363 --> 01:27:46,199
Oh, Mom, I would love
to meet your therapist.
1883
01:27:46,283 --> 01:27:50,328
Really? Great.
I go on Tuesday at 3:00.
1884
01:27:50,412 --> 01:27:51,747
Tuesday's probably fine.
1885
01:27:51,830 --> 01:27:53,999
Wonderful!
Oh, you're going to love her.
1886
01:27:54,082 --> 01:27:55,208
I'll text you the address?
1887
01:27:55,292 --> 01:27:56,459
Text away.
1888
01:27:56,543 --> 01:27:59,254
- See you then.
- See you then, Mom. Bye.
1889
01:28:00,713 --> 01:28:03,383
- What sort of attack are you having?
- Are you crazy?
1890
01:28:03,466 --> 01:28:05,427
- Why?
- You're going to therapy with your mother!
1891
01:28:05,510 --> 01:28:07,512
- No, I'm not.
- Yes, you are.
1892
01:28:07,596 --> 01:28:08,722
She wants me to meet her.
1893
01:28:08,806 --> 01:28:11,767
- What do you think that means?
- Luke, look.
1894
01:28:11,850 --> 01:28:15,145
My mother took my advice.
Do you understand what I'm saying?
1895
01:28:15,228 --> 01:28:17,147
The advice that I gave her,
she took it.
1896
01:28:17,230 --> 01:28:19,524
That's never happened before.
Ever.
1897
01:28:19,607 --> 01:28:23,028
She's feeling good about it
and just wanted me to meet her...
1898
01:28:23,111 --> 01:28:25,113
Oh, crap!
I'm going to therapy with my mother!
1899
01:28:31,036 --> 01:28:33,747
- Oh, boy.
- Come on.
1900
01:28:46,699 --> 01:28:51,699
Sync and corrections by explosiveskull
www.addic7ed.com