1
00:00:18,186 --> 00:00:20,188
LORELAI: Please, Luke.
Please, please, please.
2
00:00:20,397 --> 00:00:21,606
LUKE: How many cups
have you had this morning?
3
00:00:21,815 --> 00:00:22,649
LORELAI: None.
LUKE: Plus?
4
00:00:22,857 --> 00:00:23,858
LORELAI: Five,
but yours is better.
5
00:00:24,067 --> 00:00:25,819
RORY: I got a kiss.
And I shoplifted.
6
00:00:26,027 --> 00:00:26,695
EMILY: Honestly, Lorelai,
7
00:00:26,903 --> 00:00:28,655
it's not your looks
that keep them away.
Think about that.
8
00:00:28,863 --> 00:00:31,992
RICHARD: People die, we pay.
People crash cars, we pay.
9
00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:33,284
People lose a foot, we pay.
10
00:00:33,493 --> 00:00:34,494
LORELAI: Well, at least
you have your new slogan.
11
00:00:34,703 --> 00:00:36,162
RORY: Did you do something slutty?
LORELAI: I'm not that happy.
12
00:00:36,371 --> 00:00:38,123
MICHEL: People are
particularly stupid today.
13
00:00:38,331 --> 00:00:39,708
LORELAI: Copper boom!
SOOKIE: Norman Mailer, I'm pregnant!
14
00:00:39,916 --> 00:00:41,334
RORY: Luke can waltz?
LORELAI: Luke can waltz.
15
00:00:41,543 --> 00:00:43,336
LUKE: I just want
you to know I'm in.
I am all in.
16
00:00:43,503 --> 00:00:45,296
LORELAI: It'd be like
the first 15 minutes of
Saving Private Ryan,
17
00:00:45,505 --> 00:00:46,381
but at least those guys
got to be in France.
18
00:00:46,589 --> 00:00:47,549
PARIS: I am not
going to Harvard.
19
00:00:47,757 --> 00:00:49,134
I had sex,
but I'm not going
to Harvard!
20
00:00:49,342 --> 00:00:50,135
EMILY: You were still a child.
LORELAI: I stopped
21
00:00:50,343 --> 00:00:51,553
being a child the minute
the strip turned pink.
22
00:00:51,720 --> 00:00:52,637
RORY: You jump,
I jump, Jack.
23
00:00:52,846 --> 00:00:54,681
LANE: Eternal damnation
is what I'm risking
for my rock and roll.
24
00:00:54,889 --> 00:00:55,765
LORELAI: Oy with
the poodles already.
25
00:00:55,974 --> 00:00:57,350
RORY: Because I love you,
you idiot.
26
00:00:58,435 --> 00:01:00,270
LORELAI: (SING-SONG VOICE)
I smell snow.
27
00:01:01,438 --> 00:01:04,190
(BELLS JINGLING)
28
00:01:06,818 --> 00:01:09,112
WOMAN: ♪ La, la, la
29
00:01:09,320 --> 00:01:11,531
♪ La, la, la
30
00:01:11,740 --> 00:01:14,951
♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la, la, la
31
00:01:15,201 --> 00:01:16,911
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
32
00:01:17,120 --> 00:01:18,997
♪ La, la, la
33
00:01:19,205 --> 00:01:21,666
♪ La, la, la
34
00:01:21,916 --> 00:01:25,587
♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la
La, la, la, la
35
00:01:26,254 --> 00:01:27,630
(SIGHS)
36
00:01:27,839 --> 00:01:31,301
♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la
La, la, la, la
37
00:01:31,509 --> 00:01:32,844
♪ La, la, la ♪
38
00:01:33,053 --> 00:01:34,512
- Hey!
- (GASPS)
39
00:01:35,638 --> 00:01:37,474
That's how you look
when you get off a plane?
40
00:01:37,682 --> 00:01:38,933
That's how
you say hello?
41
00:01:39,142 --> 00:01:40,518
You've been stuffed
in a glorified tin can
42
00:01:40,727 --> 00:01:42,312
for the last seven hours
surrounded by people
43
00:01:42,520 --> 00:01:45,690
with consumption,
diphtheria, scabies,
hummus dip, rabid dogs,
44
00:01:45,899 --> 00:01:48,818
drugged up children
attacking your chair,
and stealing your change.
45
00:01:49,027 --> 00:01:50,195
What airline
are you flying?
46
00:01:50,403 --> 00:01:51,488
You should look
drawn and blotchy.
47
00:01:51,696 --> 00:01:54,157
You should be singing
"I Dreamed a Dream"
with a bad haircut
48
00:01:54,365 --> 00:01:56,910
while selling yourself
to a bunch of
French dockworkers.
49
00:01:57,118 --> 00:01:58,787
But instead,
you look perfect.
50
00:01:58,995 --> 00:01:59,788
Admit it.
You've been gooped.
51
00:01:59,996 --> 00:02:00,914
I have not
been gooped.
52
00:02:01,122 --> 00:02:03,583
You're doing yoga
in the aisles wearing
cashmere sweatpants
53
00:02:03,792 --> 00:02:06,336
while your comfort dog
watches Zoolander 2
on his watch.
54
00:02:06,544 --> 00:02:08,296
I do blood clot
prevention foot pumps
55
00:02:08,546 --> 00:02:10,256
wearing my Yonah
Schimmel Knishery
baseball cap
56
00:02:10,465 --> 00:02:11,925
while toothpaste dries up
a zit on my chin.
57
00:02:12,133 --> 00:02:13,176
(SIGHS) Wow! Winded!
58
00:02:13,384 --> 00:02:14,886
- Haven't done that
for a while.
- Felt good.
59
00:02:15,136 --> 00:02:16,387
(CHUCKLES)
60
00:02:17,430 --> 00:02:18,765
I've missed you, kid.
61
00:02:18,973 --> 00:02:20,141
Missed you, too.
62
00:02:20,350 --> 00:02:21,559
How long's it been?
63
00:02:21,810 --> 00:02:23,103
Feels like years.
64
00:02:24,521 --> 00:02:26,439
(SIGHS)
Coffee and tacos.
65
00:02:26,648 --> 00:02:27,941
Princess Charlotte
iced tea spoons.
66
00:02:28,149 --> 00:02:29,400
Mmm!
67
00:02:29,609 --> 00:02:31,111
All right, shall we
get it out of the way?
68
00:02:31,319 --> 00:02:32,403
Might as well.
69
00:02:33,071 --> 00:02:35,490
One day? That's all?
70
00:02:35,698 --> 00:02:36,866
I'm sorry!
71
00:02:37,075 --> 00:02:38,952
You miss Christmas
and Thanksgiving
72
00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:41,121
and all I get is
a one-day visit?
73
00:02:41,329 --> 00:02:42,330
What am I,
chopped liver?
74
00:02:42,539 --> 00:02:44,541
I have to be on
the red-eye to London
tomorrow night.
75
00:02:44,749 --> 00:02:46,334
- London again.
- For work.
76
00:02:46,543 --> 00:02:48,503
♪ And the cat's in the cradle
And the silver spoon ♪
77
00:02:48,711 --> 00:02:49,546
Oh, now, Emily.
78
00:02:49,754 --> 00:02:52,006
Oh, wow! Nicely played.
All right, you win.
79
00:02:52,215 --> 00:02:54,134
So, we have limited
time. Should we skip
the town tour?
80
00:02:54,342 --> 00:02:55,677
Now we can't skip
the town tour.
81
00:02:55,885 --> 00:02:57,220
Well, we'll keep
it short.
82
00:02:57,428 --> 00:02:59,848
- Le Chat Club
closed due to rats.
- Again?
83
00:03:00,056 --> 00:03:02,142
- We got parking meters.
- Where?
84
00:03:02,350 --> 00:03:03,726
Well, no one would pay
so they took them out.
85
00:03:03,935 --> 00:03:05,061
This town is
mob ruled.
86
00:03:05,228 --> 00:03:07,856
AI's Pancake World won
best Christmas
decorations again.
87
00:03:08,064 --> 00:03:09,816
Well, it's that
nativity scene
with the eggplant Jesus.
88
00:03:10,024 --> 00:03:11,818
- You can't beat it.
- There's a debate
going on
89
00:03:12,026 --> 00:03:13,486
whether or not to take
the phone booth out.
90
00:03:13,695 --> 00:03:14,904
(SCOFFS)
But where would
Superman change
91
00:03:15,113 --> 00:03:16,614
when he comes
to save our town
from Ben Affleck?
92
00:03:16,865 --> 00:03:18,366
I made the same
excellent point.
93
00:03:18,616 --> 00:03:19,659
What's with
the signs?
94
00:03:19,868 --> 00:03:21,327
Ooh, I saved
the best for last.
95
00:03:21,536 --> 00:03:24,873
Taylor has decided
that septic systems
are beneath us
96
00:03:25,081 --> 00:03:26,833
and he wants to
go full-on sewer.
97
00:03:27,041 --> 00:03:28,001
How can we do that?
98
00:03:28,209 --> 00:03:30,545
Well, first, he's going
door to door collecting
99
00:03:30,753 --> 00:03:32,630
people's personal
septic tank
horror stories.
100
00:03:32,839 --> 00:03:34,507
- Oh, Lord!
- Then, he'll compile them,
101
00:03:34,716 --> 00:03:36,801
and then he and a panel
of hand-picked people
will stage
102
00:03:37,010 --> 00:03:39,554
septic testimonial
re-enactments for
the county assessor.
103
00:03:39,762 --> 00:03:41,514
Are you just telling me
this stuff to get me to
stay longer?
104
00:03:41,723 --> 00:03:42,849
- Is it working?
- Kind of.
105
00:03:43,433 --> 00:03:44,601
Hi, Miss Patty!
106
00:03:44,809 --> 00:03:47,478
Rory!
You look fabulous!
107
00:03:47,687 --> 00:03:49,230
- She just got off
a plane!
- (CELL PHONE VIBRATES)
108
00:03:49,439 --> 00:03:51,316
Oh! That's
my work phone.
109
00:03:52,859 --> 00:03:53,693
It's not ringing.
110
00:03:53,902 --> 00:03:54,903
(CHUCKLES) I know.
111
00:03:55,612 --> 00:03:56,654
- It's not ringing,
either.
- I know.
112
00:03:56,863 --> 00:03:58,072
You've got more burners
than Omar Little.
113
00:03:58,281 --> 00:03:59,407
I got a personal phone,
a work phone,
114
00:03:59,616 --> 00:04:00,825
and the only phone
that gets reception
115
00:04:01,034 --> 00:04:02,202
in Stars Hollow.
Theoretically.
116
00:04:02,410 --> 00:04:05,038
Yes well, the fact that
the entire town was
actually constructed
117
00:04:05,288 --> 00:04:08,208
in a giant snow globe
probably has an effect
on your bar count.
118
00:04:08,416 --> 00:04:09,626
Ha! (SIGHS)
119
00:04:09,834 --> 00:04:12,337
Hello? Hello?
Um...
120
00:04:12,545 --> 00:04:14,088
(SIGHS)
Damn! Hello?
121
00:04:15,089 --> 00:04:16,507
You're breaking up.
122
00:04:16,966 --> 00:04:18,343
Oh, come on.
123
00:04:19,344 --> 00:04:21,554
Hello? (GRUNTS)
124
00:04:21,763 --> 00:04:24,015
Hold on! Hello?
125
00:04:24,224 --> 00:04:26,684
Crap! Hello?
126
00:04:26,935 --> 00:04:28,937
Uh, can you hear me now?
Can you hear me--
127
00:04:29,145 --> 00:04:30,438
Yes! Hi! Great!
128
00:04:30,647 --> 00:04:32,440
Um, so, how are you?
129
00:04:33,149 --> 00:04:34,901
Hello? (GROANS)
130
00:04:35,109 --> 00:04:38,571
I'm heading
to the trees! I'm...
I'm heading to the trees.
131
00:04:38,780 --> 00:04:41,866
Okay, I'm at the trees.
Hello? Hello?
132
00:04:42,659 --> 00:04:44,744
I'm gonna try Doose's.
You coming?
133
00:04:44,953 --> 00:04:46,537
- Nah! I just hit
my steps.
- Okay.
134
00:04:47,956 --> 00:04:49,374
Um, hello?
135
00:04:49,582 --> 00:04:52,252
Are you still there?
Okay, flip phone!
136
00:04:54,379 --> 00:04:58,091
Hi! Sorry,
it's Rory Gilmore again.
I think Ingrid just--
137
00:04:58,299 --> 00:05:00,885
Hello? Hello?
138
00:05:01,094 --> 00:05:02,387
(SIGHS) Hello? Crap!
139
00:05:03,596 --> 00:05:04,931
Hello?
140
00:05:05,139 --> 00:05:06,266
Hello?
141
00:05:06,474 --> 00:05:08,643
Oh, yes!
Sure, she can.
142
00:05:08,851 --> 00:05:10,478
Okay, on this number,
please. Thank you.
143
00:05:10,687 --> 00:05:12,939
Rory! Hey! I didn't know
you were coming in today.
144
00:05:13,147 --> 00:05:14,941
Oh, it's just
a super quick
in and out.
145
00:05:15,149 --> 00:05:17,235
- Cabbage.
- What? Oh.
146
00:05:18,278 --> 00:05:19,279
Come again.
147
00:05:19,487 --> 00:05:21,322
Um, so tell me,
what is going on
with you?
148
00:05:21,531 --> 00:05:23,116
- Oh, you don't wanna know.
- Uh-oh.
149
00:05:23,324 --> 00:05:24,575
Yeah, Zach got
a promotion.
150
00:05:24,784 --> 00:05:25,743
My God! Why?
151
00:05:25,952 --> 00:05:27,829
- I don't know.
I think they like him.
- Poor guy.
152
00:05:28,037 --> 00:05:30,456
Yeah,
he's a route supervisor
now. Has to wear a tie.
153
00:05:30,665 --> 00:05:31,332
I'm so sorry.
154
00:05:31,541 --> 00:05:32,792
(SIGHS) It's fairly
devastating.
155
00:05:33,001 --> 00:05:34,460
I tell him he looks like
a young Leonard Cohen,
156
00:05:34,669 --> 00:05:35,670
but he actually just
looks like his dad.
157
00:05:35,878 --> 00:05:36,796
- (CELL PHONE VIBRATES)
- Sorry.
158
00:05:37,005 --> 00:05:37,755
- Yeah.
- Hello?
159
00:05:37,964 --> 00:05:39,382
Oh, Ingrid.
Finally!
160
00:05:39,590 --> 00:05:40,591
(WOMAN CLEARS THROAT)
161
00:05:41,634 --> 00:05:43,177
It's so good to
finally connect.
162
00:05:44,470 --> 00:05:46,306
Lorelai, I'm glad
I ran into you.
163
00:05:46,514 --> 00:05:47,473
Your house is
that way, Kirk.
164
00:05:47,682 --> 00:05:49,017
I did not
get lost again.
165
00:05:49,225 --> 00:05:50,393
I wanted you to
be one of
the first to know
166
00:05:50,601 --> 00:05:51,936
that I've started
a new business.
167
00:05:52,145 --> 00:05:53,187
It's a ride
share business.
168
00:05:53,396 --> 00:05:55,148
I call it Ooo-ber.
169
00:05:55,356 --> 00:05:57,317
Uh-oh. There's
already an Uber, Kirk.
170
00:05:57,525 --> 00:06:00,069
No, not Uber.
Ooo-ber.
171
00:06:00,278 --> 00:06:01,487
Three "O's"
instead of a "U."
172
00:06:01,696 --> 00:06:02,697
Okay, but it's, uh--
173
00:06:02,905 --> 00:06:03,698
Ooo-ber.
174
00:06:03,948 --> 00:06:05,033
Right. But it's the--
175
00:06:05,241 --> 00:06:06,367
Ooo-ber.
176
00:06:06,576 --> 00:06:08,161
It's a service where
people can request
177
00:06:08,369 --> 00:06:09,704
a ride and I will come
and pick them up.
178
00:06:09,912 --> 00:06:10,747
Like Uber.
179
00:06:10,955 --> 00:06:12,498
Except it's Ooo-ber.
180
00:06:12,874 --> 00:06:13,958
It's the same thing.
181
00:06:14,208 --> 00:06:15,543
- No, it's not.
- Kirk. (CHUCKLES)
182
00:06:15,752 --> 00:06:17,170
People use an app
to call a car.
183
00:06:17,378 --> 00:06:18,171
I have no app.
184
00:06:18,379 --> 00:06:19,339
Then how do
they get a car?
185
00:06:19,547 --> 00:06:21,007
They call my mother,
and then she calls me,
186
00:06:21,215 --> 00:06:22,342
and I find a car
and I pick them
right up.
187
00:06:22,550 --> 00:06:24,010
So it's a much
worse version of Uber.
188
00:06:24,218 --> 00:06:25,636
And it's pronounced
Ooo-ber.
189
00:06:25,845 --> 00:06:26,804
- Stop making that sound.
- All right.
190
00:06:27,013 --> 00:06:28,431
Well, you've got
my mom's number.
191
00:06:28,639 --> 00:06:29,891
Now if you'll
excuse me...
192
00:06:30,099 --> 00:06:30,808
(PIG OINKS)
193
00:06:31,017 --> 00:06:32,518
It is past
Petal's bedtime.
194
00:06:32,727 --> 00:06:33,770
Bye, Petal.
195
00:06:36,689 --> 00:06:37,774
When did Kirk
get a pig?
196
00:06:37,982 --> 00:06:39,942
Babette heard him
and Lulu talking
about having a baby,
197
00:06:40,151 --> 00:06:41,402
so the whole town
chipped in.
198
00:06:41,611 --> 00:06:42,862
We figured it bought us
a couple of years.
199
00:06:43,071 --> 00:06:44,155
- Very smart.
- Ready?
200
00:06:44,489 --> 00:06:45,406
Hold on.
201
00:06:45,615 --> 00:06:49,285
I'm not really home
till I get my
Stars Hollow Gazette.
202
00:06:49,911 --> 00:06:50,912
Christmas edition.
203
00:06:51,120 --> 00:06:52,372
Manger news,
Santa's wishes,
204
00:06:52,580 --> 00:06:54,374
eggnog checkpoints,
and...
205
00:06:54,582 --> 00:06:55,666
The Christmas poem.
206
00:06:55,875 --> 00:06:56,793
Same one every year.
207
00:06:57,043 --> 00:06:58,002
Every single year.
208
00:06:58,211 --> 00:06:59,504
So good to be home.
209
00:07:01,547 --> 00:07:02,173
What?
210
00:07:02,382 --> 00:07:03,633
(SNIFFS AND SIGHS)
211
00:07:03,841 --> 00:07:05,385
I smell snow.
212
00:07:05,593 --> 00:07:07,053
(GUITAR STRUMMING)
213
00:07:20,149 --> 00:07:22,235
TROUBADOUR:
♪ Nothing looks so pretty as
214
00:07:22,568 --> 00:07:24,779
♪ The winter
stars a-glittering
215
00:07:24,987 --> 00:07:29,242
♪ Shining on
a freshly fallen snow
216
00:07:29,450 --> 00:07:32,161
♪ When the blue
light of the moon
217
00:07:32,412 --> 00:07:35,915
♪ Is giving off
a loving winter glow
218
00:07:39,460 --> 00:07:41,879
♪ Such a tender feeling when
219
00:07:42,088 --> 00:07:44,424
♪ The candlelight
a-flickering
220
00:07:44,632 --> 00:07:48,594
♪ The ember window
calls you home
221
00:07:48,803 --> 00:07:51,806
♪ And the fireplace
is crackling
222
00:07:52,014 --> 00:07:55,935
♪ And giving off
a warming winter glow
223
00:07:56,936 --> 00:07:58,479
♪ Summer with its nights
224
00:07:58,688 --> 00:08:01,691
♪ That last forever
has its charm
225
00:08:01,899 --> 00:08:06,404
♪ Fall with golden leaves
That gather, too
226
00:08:06,612 --> 00:08:11,492
♪ Spring is all the brighter
After rip storms have blown
227
00:08:11,701 --> 00:08:15,246
♪ But winter has
a magic of its own ♪
228
00:08:23,546 --> 00:08:25,131
- LORELAI: Got it?
- RORY: Yup.
229
00:08:26,924 --> 00:08:27,967
LORELAI: Are you sure?
230
00:08:28,176 --> 00:08:28,968
RORY: Oh, yes.
231
00:08:29,177 --> 00:08:31,554
Come on.
Let's get in
out of the snow!
232
00:08:31,762 --> 00:08:32,930
It's cold.
233
00:08:35,057 --> 00:08:36,309
(SIGHS)
234
00:08:36,684 --> 00:08:39,103
(IN SING-SONG)
Luke's gonna be so
excited to see you.
235
00:08:39,395 --> 00:08:40,271
RORY: I can't
wait to see him.
236
00:08:40,480 --> 00:08:41,522
(LORELAI SIGHS)
237
00:08:44,567 --> 00:08:45,776
Hello, Rabbi.
238
00:08:45,985 --> 00:08:47,028
(JINGLE PLAYS)
239
00:08:47,195 --> 00:08:49,322
Oh, Paul Anka,
what is she making
you wear now?
240
00:08:49,530 --> 00:08:50,948
No, no. This one
was his idea.
241
00:08:51,157 --> 00:08:53,117
Aw, don't feel bad.
She did the same thing
to me.
242
00:08:53,326 --> 00:08:54,785
- Okay, get ready.
- For what?
243
00:08:54,994 --> 00:08:56,329
- Super-proud Luke.
- What?
244
00:08:56,996 --> 00:08:59,290
Luke! It's
a Christmas miracle!
245
00:08:59,499 --> 00:09:01,417
Ah! There she is,
the New Yorker writer!
246
00:09:01,626 --> 00:09:02,376
Super-proud!
247
00:09:02,585 --> 00:09:03,753
(CHUCKLES) It was
just one Talk of
the Town piece.
248
00:09:03,961 --> 00:09:05,546
Oh, one Talk of
the Town piece?
Come on.
249
00:09:05,755 --> 00:09:07,507
It was terrific.
And that woman
you wrote about--
250
00:09:07,798 --> 00:09:08,758
Naomi Shropshire.
251
00:09:08,966 --> 00:09:10,259
Yes, yes! I've never
heard of her.
252
00:09:10,468 --> 00:09:11,385
But now I feel like
I've met her.
253
00:09:11,594 --> 00:09:12,386
Well, I appreciate that.
254
00:09:12,595 --> 00:09:14,931
I've never read
the New Yorker before,
but now, every week.
255
00:09:15,139 --> 00:09:15,973
I'm glad.
256
00:09:16,182 --> 00:09:18,267
And I subscribed to it.
Who says print is dead?
257
00:09:18,476 --> 00:09:20,144
- Only the world.
- Well, what does
the world--
258
00:09:21,103 --> 00:09:22,480
- You're eating?
- LORELAI: Just tacos.
259
00:09:22,688 --> 00:09:24,398
- Tacos are tiny.
- I'm making a whole
dinner here.
260
00:09:24,607 --> 00:09:25,775
- Wow. So I'm fat?
- What?
261
00:09:25,983 --> 00:09:27,276
- Body shaming.
- I am not body shaming.
262
00:09:27,527 --> 00:09:29,028
- Trigger warnings!
- Oh, for Christ's sake.
263
00:09:29,362 --> 00:09:30,321
War on Christmas!
264
00:09:30,530 --> 00:09:31,572
I am making
two main courses
265
00:09:31,781 --> 00:09:33,282
because you told me
to make two main courses.
266
00:09:33,491 --> 00:09:34,242
What two main courses?
267
00:09:34,450 --> 00:09:35,993
Uh, mac and cheese,
parmesan cutlets...
268
00:09:36,202 --> 00:09:37,495
- With garlic bread?
- And tater tots!
269
00:09:37,787 --> 00:09:38,663
I am not making
tater tots.
270
00:09:38,871 --> 00:09:40,164
- Why not?
- We need sustenance!
271
00:09:40,373 --> 00:09:41,207
You're eating tacos!
272
00:09:41,415 --> 00:09:42,458
Tater tots go great
with tacos.
273
00:09:42,750 --> 00:09:43,834
Tater tots are
great in tacos.
274
00:09:44,043 --> 00:09:45,127
- Yes!
- LUKE: No!
275
00:09:45,336 --> 00:09:46,587
- Hey! I mean it!
- They're organic.
276
00:09:46,796 --> 00:09:48,047
All right,
negotiation's over!
277
00:09:48,256 --> 00:09:50,216
Put the tater tots back,
finish your tacos,
278
00:09:50,424 --> 00:09:52,009
wash your hands,
dinner's almost ready!
279
00:09:52,218 --> 00:09:53,678
Ah! And I saw you grab
those mini donuts.
280
00:09:53,886 --> 00:09:55,096
Put 'em down right now.
281
00:09:55,304 --> 00:09:57,515
I cannot believe
the conversations
I have in this room.
282
00:09:57,807 --> 00:09:59,225
I thought cooking
was supposed to be
relaxing.
283
00:09:59,433 --> 00:10:00,851
- (POP SONG PLAYING)
- Oh, no. You just--
284
00:10:01,060 --> 00:10:03,688
Don't put that song on
and then disappear into
Rory's room. Hey!
285
00:10:03,896 --> 00:10:04,897
At least
turn it down!
286
00:10:05,106 --> 00:10:06,399
- Hey, did my boxes
get here?
- Behind the rack.
287
00:10:06,607 --> 00:10:07,400
Great!
288
00:10:07,733 --> 00:10:09,569
So, you finally
did it, huh?
289
00:10:09,777 --> 00:10:11,696
Finally gave up
her Brooklyn pad?
290
00:10:11,904 --> 00:10:14,615
I did.
Lena Dunham will just have
to get along without me.
291
00:10:14,824 --> 00:10:16,409
- Are you gonna miss it?
- A little.
292
00:10:16,617 --> 00:10:17,535
I'm gonna miss it.
293
00:10:17,743 --> 00:10:21,706
It had that early American
tenement shtetl
slash Trainspotting vibe
294
00:10:21,914 --> 00:10:23,708
that every mother wants
for her little girl.
295
00:10:23,958 --> 00:10:25,585
It was a perfectly
decent apartment.
296
00:10:25,793 --> 00:10:27,420
I liked how you had
to avoid touching the walls
297
00:10:27,753 --> 00:10:28,963
or your clothes
would stick to them.
298
00:10:29,171 --> 00:10:30,756
- One wall.
- See, in some apartments,
299
00:10:31,090 --> 00:10:32,717
you don't have to
avoid any walls at all.
300
00:10:32,925 --> 00:10:34,760
It was a great place.
I just was never there.
301
00:10:34,969 --> 00:10:36,971
Do you know
how many nights I actually
spent there this year?
302
00:10:37,179 --> 00:10:38,931
- Three? Eighteen?
- No. No.
303
00:10:39,140 --> 00:10:39,932
- Forty-six?
- No.
304
00:10:40,141 --> 00:10:41,767
Is this like
The Price is Right
where if I'm a little under
305
00:10:41,976 --> 00:10:43,436
I win, over, I lose?
306
00:10:43,644 --> 00:10:45,479
I don't actually know
exactly how many nights,
okay?
307
00:10:45,688 --> 00:10:47,690
But it was not a lot.
And now the building's
going condo.
308
00:10:47,898 --> 00:10:50,693
And I'm not ready to buy
a condo, so it just seemed
like the right time to say...
309
00:10:50,943 --> 00:10:52,570
- Bye-bye, Brooklyn.
- Bye-bye, Brooklyn.
310
00:10:52,862 --> 00:10:54,030
This box is open.
311
00:10:54,280 --> 00:10:55,406
(GASPS) Damn that TSA!
312
00:10:55,615 --> 00:10:57,199
Really? You went
through my stuff?
313
00:10:57,408 --> 00:10:59,994
I did. And I must say,
I found it
very disappointing.
314
00:11:00,202 --> 00:11:01,829
You found my personal
items disappointing?
315
00:11:02,038 --> 00:11:03,664
Yeah, I thought there'd
be something fun in there,
316
00:11:03,873 --> 00:11:05,166
you know, like
a treasure map
317
00:11:05,374 --> 00:11:06,917
or the prequel to
Huckleberry Finn
318
00:11:07,126 --> 00:11:09,629
where Huck is a Klan leader
and terrified of water.
319
00:11:09,837 --> 00:11:11,297
I think it's kind of
exciting, you know?
320
00:11:11,505 --> 00:11:13,424
No apartment,
no rent, no ties.
321
00:11:13,633 --> 00:11:15,301
I could crash here,
I could crash at Lane's.
322
00:11:15,509 --> 00:11:18,220
I feel like this is
my time to be rootless
323
00:11:18,429 --> 00:11:20,056
and just see
where life takes me,
324
00:11:20,264 --> 00:11:22,975
and travel wherever
there's a story to write.
325
00:11:23,184 --> 00:11:25,186
I just wish
I had remembered
to label my boxes
326
00:11:25,394 --> 00:11:27,104
because now I know
where nothing is.
327
00:11:27,313 --> 00:11:29,190
My boots,
my coats,
my underwear...
328
00:11:29,398 --> 00:11:30,816
You've no idea where
your underwear is?
329
00:11:31,025 --> 00:11:32,026
Could be at Lane's.
330
00:11:32,234 --> 00:11:33,778
You've been
without your underwear
since you moved?
331
00:11:33,986 --> 00:11:34,945
Don't judge.
332
00:11:35,154 --> 00:11:36,322
I'm Gwen freakin' Stefani.
333
00:11:36,530 --> 00:11:37,531
Do you want to borrow
some underwear?
334
00:11:37,740 --> 00:11:39,033
I'd like to stop talking
about underwear.
335
00:11:39,283 --> 00:11:40,868
I'm looking for
my lucky outfit.
336
00:11:41,077 --> 00:11:43,788
I think any outfit you
wear without underwear is
gonna be your lucky outfit.
337
00:11:43,996 --> 00:11:45,998
I have this big meeting
coming up with Conde Nast,
338
00:11:46,207 --> 00:11:48,626
and I have this one particular
look that always makes me
feel like Diane Sawyer.
339
00:11:48,834 --> 00:11:50,044
Is it a Mike Nichols mask?
340
00:11:50,252 --> 00:11:51,796
- (DOORBELL RINGS)
- LUKE: I'll get it!
341
00:11:52,004 --> 00:11:53,005
What's this?
342
00:11:53,214 --> 00:11:56,717
Oh! That is a box of
New Yorker magazines
with your fancy piece in it.
343
00:11:56,926 --> 00:11:57,885
Box one of six.
344
00:11:58,094 --> 00:11:59,720
- You're kidding.
- Super-proud!
345
00:11:59,929 --> 00:12:01,180
Hey, that guy's here.
346
00:12:01,389 --> 00:12:02,139
What guy?
347
00:12:02,348 --> 00:12:03,808
(STUTTERS) You know...
Uh, Jeffrey.
348
00:12:04,058 --> 00:12:05,685
- Who? Who?
- Allen? Billy?
349
00:12:05,893 --> 00:12:08,229
(CHUCKLES) There's
nothing remotely similar
about those names.
350
00:12:08,437 --> 00:12:09,605
You know.
Him. Your guy.
351
00:12:09,814 --> 00:12:10,439
Paul?
352
00:12:10,648 --> 00:12:11,816
- Paul. Yes, Paul.
- Paul's not here.
353
00:12:12,024 --> 00:12:13,025
- LUKE: Paul's here.
- Who's Paul?
354
00:12:13,234 --> 00:12:14,735
Paul, my...
Paul, my boyfriend?
355
00:12:14,944 --> 00:12:16,821
Oh, crap!
Paul is here!
356
00:12:17,029 --> 00:12:18,614
- Why is Paul here?
- RORY: I invited
him for dinner,
357
00:12:18,823 --> 00:12:22,451
and I totally forgot.
Crap, crap, crap!
358
00:12:22,702 --> 00:12:25,204
I can't believe
you didn't remember
Rory's boyfriend Paul.
359
00:12:27,081 --> 00:12:28,624
(CHUCKLES) You came.
360
00:12:28,833 --> 00:12:30,209
- Of course I came.
- (CHUCKLES)
361
00:12:31,919 --> 00:12:33,671
- For you.
- So beautiful.
362
00:12:33,879 --> 00:12:35,840
And indigenous to Peru.
Fun fact.
363
00:12:36,048 --> 00:12:36,966
So fun. (CHUCKLES)
364
00:12:37,174 --> 00:12:38,551
Hey. Look who's here.
365
00:12:38,759 --> 00:12:40,094
(CHUCKLES)
Paul! Wow!
366
00:12:40,302 --> 00:12:41,345
- So good to see you.
- You, too.
367
00:12:41,554 --> 00:12:42,638
Thank you for
the invite.
368
00:12:42,847 --> 00:12:43,639
Is your hair
different?
369
00:12:43,848 --> 00:12:44,890
- Uh, no.
- LORELAI: Lose some weight?
370
00:12:45,307 --> 00:12:46,559
- Nope.
- Gain some weight?
(CHUCKLES)
371
00:12:46,767 --> 00:12:47,893
I'm going to put
these in some water.
372
00:12:48,102 --> 00:12:49,854
- Come on, Paul.
- Yes, I will follow.
373
00:12:52,523 --> 00:12:54,066
I've never seen
that boy before
in my life.
374
00:12:54,275 --> 00:12:55,526
- See?
- They've been
together for months.
375
00:12:55,735 --> 00:12:57,278
- I think it's been a year.
- He's been to the house!
376
00:12:57,486 --> 00:12:58,362
- I know!
- (SIGHS)
377
00:12:58,571 --> 00:13:01,031
He's like a superhero,
but his power is that
you can't remember him
378
00:13:01,323 --> 00:13:02,366
no matter how much time
you spend with him.
379
00:13:02,533 --> 00:13:04,076
Kind of like every
Marvel movie ever.
380
00:13:05,327 --> 00:13:06,537
- Care for something
to drink, Pete?
- Paul.
381
00:13:06,746 --> 00:13:07,663
Paul. I'm--
(CHUCKLES)
382
00:13:07,955 --> 00:13:09,498
Pete is our, uh,
dog's friend.
383
00:13:09,707 --> 00:13:11,000
Our dog's name is Paul.
384
00:13:11,208 --> 00:13:12,585
- Last name Anka.
- Weirdly close
to my last name.
385
00:13:12,918 --> 00:13:14,128
Right. Very close.
386
00:13:14,378 --> 00:13:15,546
This is all
I could find.
387
00:13:15,796 --> 00:13:16,797
- That'll do.
- (CHUCKLES) Okay.
388
00:13:17,006 --> 00:13:17,840
- LORELAI: Red okay...
- Paul.
389
00:13:18,048 --> 00:13:19,258
I got it now.
Paul, red, Paul?
390
00:13:19,467 --> 00:13:20,384
Uh, red sounds good.
391
00:13:21,051 --> 00:13:22,344
- Oh, hey, Luke.
- Yeah.
392
00:13:22,553 --> 00:13:23,929
- I brought it.
- You...
393
00:13:24,138 --> 00:13:25,556
The wrench. The,
uh, antique wrench
394
00:13:25,765 --> 00:13:27,016
we talked about
the last time I was here.
395
00:13:27,224 --> 00:13:28,434
- Remember?
- Uh-huh.
396
00:13:28,642 --> 00:13:29,852
You know, we went on
that fishing trip on
your boat.
397
00:13:30,060 --> 00:13:32,438
And you told me your dad
had owned a hardware store.
And now it's a diner.
398
00:13:32,605 --> 00:13:34,106
And I told you
my grandfather also
owned a hardware store
399
00:13:34,315 --> 00:13:35,399
and I kept all of
his original tools?
400
00:13:35,608 --> 00:13:36,776
I remember the boat.
401
00:13:36,984 --> 00:13:38,527
And then you said
your dad had a crescent
wrench that he loved
402
00:13:38,736 --> 00:13:39,653
and you wish
you'd kept it.
403
00:13:39,862 --> 00:13:41,989
And my grandfather also
had one that he loved
and I did keep it.
404
00:13:42,198 --> 00:13:43,032
I'll go get it.
405
00:13:43,949 --> 00:13:46,076
I just forgot
the entire conversation
we just had.
406
00:13:46,368 --> 00:13:47,661
Come on, guys.
407
00:13:48,078 --> 00:13:49,789
PAUL: Hey, thanks for
inviting me over,
by the way.
408
00:13:49,997 --> 00:13:52,082
I don't get to see
a whole lot of
Rory these days.
409
00:13:52,291 --> 00:13:54,627
But at least I get to see
her for our anniversary,
which is great.
410
00:13:54,835 --> 00:13:56,629
Can you believe
it's two years?
411
00:13:56,837 --> 00:13:58,088
The cotton anniversary.
412
00:13:58,714 --> 00:14:01,258
Okay, I got it.
Here we go. (SIGHS)
413
00:14:01,467 --> 00:14:05,179
Here it is.
Look at the, uh,
date on the back.
414
00:14:05,387 --> 00:14:07,056
- Oh! And Lorelai...
- LORELAI: Huh?
415
00:14:08,098 --> 00:14:09,725
It's that virus protection
software I told you about.
416
00:14:09,934 --> 00:14:11,268
You want me to pop it
on your computer?
417
00:14:11,477 --> 00:14:13,229
- Where is it?
All right.
- Living room.
418
00:14:13,437 --> 00:14:15,272
It's got the Sadness
stickers from Inside Out
on it, right?
419
00:14:15,481 --> 00:14:17,274
- You remembered.
- (CHUCKLES) Okay.
420
00:14:18,692 --> 00:14:20,236
It's nice that
he remembered.
421
00:14:20,444 --> 00:14:21,654
It's nice that
somebody remembered.
422
00:14:21,862 --> 00:14:23,656
This is a very
nice wrench.
423
00:14:27,076 --> 00:14:29,245
- What the hell
did you do here?
- LORELAI: What?
424
00:14:29,495 --> 00:14:31,288
Uh, the DVR is
completely full.
425
00:14:31,497 --> 00:14:33,874
I have no idea
what any of
these things are.
426
00:14:34,083 --> 00:14:36,377
Restless Virgins,
Deadly Honeymoon...
427
00:14:36,585 --> 00:14:37,670
LORELAI:
Lifetime Movie Channel classics.
428
00:14:38,003 --> 00:14:40,089
Killer Crush,
Mini's First Time.
429
00:14:40,297 --> 00:14:42,424
A rebellious girl hooks up
with an escort agency
430
00:14:42,633 --> 00:14:45,636
where her
stepfather is a client.
Alec Baldwin. Pre-yoga.
431
00:14:45,886 --> 00:14:47,304
- So, keep?
- Keep.
432
00:14:47,513 --> 00:14:49,181
- Okay. Accidental Obsession.
- Keep.
433
00:14:49,348 --> 00:14:50,975
- Murder in a College Town.
- Keep.
434
00:14:51,183 --> 00:14:52,268
- Crimes of the Mind.
- Keep!
435
00:14:52,476 --> 00:14:54,228
Fatal Acquittal,
Not With My Daughter,
436
00:14:54,478 --> 00:14:56,355
Baby Sellers,
Unfinished Betrayal,
437
00:14:56,564 --> 00:14:58,732
The Girl He Met Online,
The Boy He Met Online,
438
00:14:58,941 --> 00:15:01,151
Deadly Vows,
Lying Eyes,
Lies He Told,
439
00:15:01,360 --> 00:15:02,570
My Nanny's Secret.
440
00:15:02,778 --> 00:15:04,655
Did the remote break?
Do we only get
one channel now?
441
00:15:04,864 --> 00:15:06,574
- Where's my pajamas?
- In the drawer.
442
00:15:06,782 --> 00:15:08,284
- Ugh. Felix...
- Oscar...
443
00:15:08,492 --> 00:15:09,869
I like my pajamas
on the chair,
444
00:15:10,077 --> 00:15:11,370
all crinkled up
and ready for bed,
445
00:15:11,579 --> 00:15:12,496
not suffocating
in a drawer.
446
00:15:12,663 --> 00:15:14,331
Your pajamas are
not puppies.
447
00:15:14,540 --> 00:15:16,417
You should find
my bedtime rituals
endearing by now.
448
00:15:16,625 --> 00:15:17,710
What's taking you
so long?
449
00:15:17,918 --> 00:15:20,337
You know,
I still can't get over
that piece Rory wrote.
450
00:15:20,546 --> 00:15:22,923
Oh, really? 'Cause
you've been so stingy
with your praise.
451
00:15:23,966 --> 00:15:25,175
Are those...
452
00:15:25,384 --> 00:15:27,219
- Puppies!
- Right.
453
00:15:28,262 --> 00:15:29,972
(CHUCKLES)
454
00:15:30,180 --> 00:15:31,724
That is one great
kid you got.
455
00:15:31,932 --> 00:15:33,183
Eh, she's all right.
456
00:15:33,392 --> 00:15:34,310
She's all freaked out
she's gonna hear
457
00:15:34,560 --> 00:15:35,769
our rollicking
lovemaking tonight.
458
00:15:35,978 --> 00:15:38,314
(SCOFFS) What are
you doing?
459
00:15:38,522 --> 00:15:40,065
Organizing my magazines
by Kardashian.
460
00:15:40,274 --> 00:15:41,191
You're stalling.
461
00:15:41,400 --> 00:15:42,443
I'm not stalling,
I'm organizing.
462
00:15:42,651 --> 00:15:44,153
You're not going to
have your dream tonight.
463
00:15:44,320 --> 00:15:46,947
(GRUNTS) My dirty
bathroom dream?
Yes, I am.
464
00:15:47,156 --> 00:15:48,407
- Just come to bed!
- (SIGHS)
465
00:15:48,616 --> 00:15:50,451
Five nights in a row.
Five nights in a row!
466
00:15:50,659 --> 00:15:53,037
I'm looking for a bathroom
and then I find one
467
00:15:53,245 --> 00:15:55,289
and it's like
the Eastern Promises
steam room scene,
468
00:15:55,497 --> 00:15:57,166
only the stuff on
the walls ain't blood.
469
00:15:57,374 --> 00:15:58,626
Don't think about it.
470
00:15:58,834 --> 00:16:00,169
The bathrooms
are all giant.
471
00:16:00,377 --> 00:16:02,504
And there's stalls
and urinals,
urinals, urinals...
472
00:16:02,713 --> 00:16:03,464
It's a dream!
473
00:16:03,672 --> 00:16:05,549
Last night, it was
the bathroom at the
Radio City Music Hall.
474
00:16:05,758 --> 00:16:06,967
- All the Rockettes
were there.
- Okay.
475
00:16:07,176 --> 00:16:08,719
- They kept slipping.
- I got it.
476
00:16:08,928 --> 00:16:10,346
Let's just sleep
standing up like cows.
477
00:16:10,554 --> 00:16:11,430
Tell you what.
You come to bed,
478
00:16:11,639 --> 00:16:13,307
you can watch one of
these ridiculous movies.
479
00:16:13,515 --> 00:16:14,975
- All the way through?
- Yes.
480
00:16:15,184 --> 00:16:16,477
You won't make me
turn it off
481
00:16:16,685 --> 00:16:18,145
right when the suspicious
sister, co-worker,
482
00:16:18,354 --> 00:16:20,189
or gay best friend
decides to investigate
483
00:16:20,397 --> 00:16:22,024
the abandoned
cabin by the lake
484
00:16:22,232 --> 00:16:23,817
where they find all
the proof they'll need
to expose the killer
485
00:16:24,026 --> 00:16:25,194
and then they
get hit in the head
with a hammer?
486
00:16:25,402 --> 00:16:26,028
Nope.
487
00:16:26,236 --> 00:16:27,613
(GASPS) Rory will
think we're rollicking.
488
00:16:27,821 --> 00:16:29,114
Well, no one ever
said she was dumb.
489
00:16:29,323 --> 00:16:30,616
(LORELAI CHUCKLES)
490
00:16:33,327 --> 00:16:35,746
MAN: (ON TV)
The deal for $49 billion
or about $95 per...
491
00:16:35,955 --> 00:16:37,122
(FAINT TAPPING)
492
00:16:37,331 --> 00:16:38,749
(PANTING) Don't
touch the handle!
493
00:16:38,958 --> 00:16:40,751
MAN:...boards
have approved the deal
494
00:16:41,001 --> 00:16:42,544
and now begin
the long regulatory
process that follows.
495
00:16:42,753 --> 00:16:44,546
All of this--
(TAPPING CONTINUES)
496
00:16:53,472 --> 00:16:55,975
WOMAN: (ON LAPTOP)
...four, five, six,
seven, eight.
497
00:16:56,183 --> 00:16:59,269
Repeat from the top.
A five, six, seven, eight...
498
00:16:59,478 --> 00:17:03,315
Shuffle, a three,
a five, a seven and a flap.
499
00:17:03,524 --> 00:17:06,485
Flap, flap, ball change,
flap, flap, flap, again.
500
00:17:06,694 --> 00:17:08,404
Shuffle! A three!
501
00:17:08,612 --> 00:17:09,613
RORY: Too loud?
502
00:17:09,905 --> 00:17:11,031
No. Just loud enough.
503
00:17:11,281 --> 00:17:12,324
Ball change...
504
00:17:12,533 --> 00:17:13,492
What you doing?
505
00:17:13,701 --> 00:17:14,827
Stress tap dancing.
506
00:17:15,035 --> 00:17:16,912
Helps get out my anxieties.
Keeps me calm.
507
00:17:17,121 --> 00:17:19,248
How long have you
been tapping your
troubles away?
508
00:17:19,456 --> 00:17:21,834
About a month.
I needed something
to shut my brain off.
509
00:17:22,042 --> 00:17:24,003
I tried meditation.
Tried jogging.
510
00:17:24,211 --> 00:17:26,839
Then I read about this.
Now, when I can't sleep,
511
00:17:27,047 --> 00:17:29,174
- I get up and tap!
- Cool.
512
00:17:29,383 --> 00:17:31,176
- You know you're terrible.
- Yeah, I know.
513
00:17:31,385 --> 00:17:32,594
Six, seven and shuffle!
514
00:17:32,803 --> 00:17:34,054
- Where are you going?
- Nowhere.
515
00:17:34,263 --> 00:17:35,431
Do not get
your phone.
516
00:17:35,639 --> 00:17:36,557
I don't know
what you are
talking about?
517
00:17:36,765 --> 00:17:37,391
Do not film this.
518
00:17:37,599 --> 00:17:38,559
Uh, I'm checking
on Paul Anka.
519
00:17:38,767 --> 00:17:39,852
- Dance numbers
terrify him.
- (SIGHS)
520
00:17:40,060 --> 00:17:41,520
I mean it.
This is my stress relief.
521
00:17:41,729 --> 00:17:43,147
Do not make
my stress relief
stressful!
522
00:17:43,355 --> 00:17:44,773
- Damn it.
Where is it?
- I hid it.
523
00:17:44,982 --> 00:17:46,567
(GASPS) You are awful.
524
00:17:46,775 --> 00:17:48,235
You think
I don't know you?
I have your eyes.
525
00:17:48,444 --> 00:17:49,820
- Fine.
- You want some coffee?
526
00:17:50,029 --> 00:17:51,071
Yes, please.
527
00:17:51,321 --> 00:17:52,781
(SIGHS) You sure
I didn't wake you up?
528
00:17:53,032 --> 00:17:54,950
Not unless you
were dressed like
a urinal cake.
529
00:17:55,159 --> 00:17:56,702
(SIGHS) You hungry?
530
00:17:56,910 --> 00:17:58,037
'Cause you said
"cake"?
531
00:17:58,328 --> 00:17:59,329
(CHUCKLES) Yes.
532
00:17:59,538 --> 00:18:00,748
Kind of.
533
00:18:06,754 --> 00:18:08,297
It's so nice to
have you home.
534
00:18:08,505 --> 00:18:09,298
I wish you
were sleeping.
535
00:18:09,506 --> 00:18:10,799
I wish you were sleeping.
536
00:18:11,008 --> 00:18:12,468
Well, I have a lot
on my mind.
537
00:18:12,676 --> 00:18:14,011
My piece for
the Atlantic
fell through.
538
00:18:14,219 --> 00:18:15,012
No! When?
539
00:18:15,220 --> 00:18:16,346
Today. That was
the call that I got.
540
00:18:16,638 --> 00:18:17,806
Why?
541
00:18:18,057 --> 00:18:20,142
They just bumped
it for other stuff.
It happens.
542
00:18:20,350 --> 00:18:21,268
Sorry.
543
00:18:21,894 --> 00:18:23,979
It's okay.
I have a lot of
irons in the fire.
544
00:18:24,188 --> 00:18:25,564
I'm still
getting a lot of
good responses
545
00:18:25,773 --> 00:18:27,399
from the New
Yorker piece so...
546
00:18:28,108 --> 00:18:29,568
Did I tell you
that I attacked
Gail Collins?
547
00:18:29,902 --> 00:18:30,819
You did not.
548
00:18:31,028 --> 00:18:32,488
I was waiting in
the lobby of the
Times Building
549
00:18:32,696 --> 00:18:34,156
hoping to talk to
the metro editor.
550
00:18:34,364 --> 00:18:35,908
And suddenly,
Gail Collins walks in.
551
00:18:36,116 --> 00:18:38,327
And I had met her once
at the 92nd Street Y.
552
00:18:38,535 --> 00:18:39,661
And I just wasn't
expecting to see her,
553
00:18:39,953 --> 00:18:40,996
and I was a little
jacked up on coffee,
554
00:18:41,205 --> 00:18:43,207
and I just lunged
at her,
555
00:18:43,415 --> 00:18:45,626
which she interpreted
as somebody she didn't
know lunging at her.
556
00:18:45,834 --> 00:18:47,377
- So sensitive.
- I felt so stupid.
557
00:18:47,586 --> 00:18:48,962
She was freaking out.
She gave me her wallet.
558
00:18:49,171 --> 00:18:50,464
(CHUCKLES)
Did you keep it?
559
00:18:50,672 --> 00:18:51,423
No.
560
00:18:51,632 --> 00:18:53,801
But, I don't know,
she was really nice
about it.
561
00:18:54,009 --> 00:18:55,260
She, uh, realized
who I was,
562
00:18:55,469 --> 00:18:57,346
and then asked
the security guards
to get off me.
563
00:18:57,554 --> 00:19:00,891
Well, here's the upside.
You definitely
made an impression.
564
00:19:01,100 --> 00:19:03,519
It's okay.
I have a lot of
irons in the fire.
565
00:19:03,727 --> 00:19:04,978
I heard. You should
become a blacksmith.
566
00:19:05,187 --> 00:19:06,772
(CHUCKLES)
What about you?
567
00:19:06,980 --> 00:19:08,774
Mmm...
What about me?
568
00:19:09,358 --> 00:19:10,567
Are you having
the dreams again?
569
00:19:10,776 --> 00:19:14,279
I'm just stressed out
and kind of feeling
my mortality lately.
570
00:19:14,488 --> 00:19:15,364
What do you mean?
571
00:19:15,572 --> 00:19:17,241
The other day,
a guest left a brochure
572
00:19:17,449 --> 00:19:18,951
in their room after
they checked out.
573
00:19:19,159 --> 00:19:21,411
It was for Anthem of the Seas.
So I'm flipping through,
574
00:19:21,703 --> 00:19:24,373
looking at swimming pools
and pictures of the buffet.
575
00:19:24,581 --> 00:19:27,793
Everything's planned
and they have
Wi-Fi and Rock of Ages
576
00:19:28,001 --> 00:19:29,211
and you don't have
to bring money.
577
00:19:29,419 --> 00:19:30,796
And suddenly
I found myself thinking...
578
00:19:31,004 --> 00:19:32,673
- No.
- ...maybe it would
be nice
579
00:19:32,881 --> 00:19:34,007
to take a cruise!
580
00:19:34,216 --> 00:19:35,759
- No!
- And then I broke a hip.
581
00:19:35,968 --> 00:19:36,844
You are not
going on a cruise.
582
00:19:37,052 --> 00:19:37,719
I know.
583
00:19:37,886 --> 00:19:39,638
(SIGHS) Is everything
okay with Luke?
584
00:19:39,847 --> 00:19:41,098
Yeah, everything's fine.
585
00:19:41,723 --> 00:19:43,350
I annoy him and
he builds cabinets.
586
00:19:43,559 --> 00:19:44,434
Or at least
that's what I think.
587
00:19:44,643 --> 00:19:45,894
He says we need
the storage.
588
00:19:47,020 --> 00:19:48,522
Do you think it's
because of Grandpa?
589
00:19:49,106 --> 00:19:50,649
My sudden need to cruise?
590
00:19:51,650 --> 00:19:52,401
Yeah.
591
00:19:52,609 --> 00:19:53,527
No.
592
00:19:53,735 --> 00:19:56,196
I don't know.
Maybe. (SIGHS)
593
00:19:57,406 --> 00:19:58,490
I miss him.
594
00:20:01,451 --> 00:20:03,495
(SIGHS DEEPLY)
595
00:20:03,704 --> 00:20:05,164
To absent friends.
596
00:20:05,831 --> 00:20:07,082
To absent friends.
597
00:20:09,168 --> 00:20:11,670
You know, some people might
say drinking coffee in
the middle of the night
598
00:20:11,879 --> 00:20:12,838
could hinder
your sleep.
599
00:20:13,255 --> 00:20:14,548
People are dumb.
600
00:20:19,386 --> 00:20:23,307
WOMAN: ♪ Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba
Ba, ba, ba, ba
601
00:20:23,515 --> 00:20:27,269
♪ Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba
Ba, ba, ba, ba
602
00:20:27,477 --> 00:20:30,981
♪ Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba
Ba, ba, ba, ba ♪
603
00:20:33,901 --> 00:20:35,485
Caesar, let's go!
Where's my toast?
604
00:20:35,694 --> 00:20:36,862
- Toaster's down.
- What?
605
00:20:37,070 --> 00:20:38,155
Oh, wait, it's
just unplugged.
606
00:20:38,447 --> 00:20:39,615
Toast coming
right up.
607
00:20:40,449 --> 00:20:43,619
Over easy, scrambled
soft, whites with cheese.
More coffee?
608
00:20:43,827 --> 00:20:45,078
What's the Wi-Fi
password here?
609
00:20:45,287 --> 00:20:46,914
Dinerluke.
Capital "D,"
small "L."
610
00:20:47,122 --> 00:20:47,748
CAESAR: Pick up!
611
00:20:47,915 --> 00:20:51,293
Luke, I need to talk
to you about your septic
tank testimonial.
612
00:20:51,543 --> 00:20:53,921
I'm not giving you
a septic tank
testimonial, Taylor.
613
00:20:54,129 --> 00:20:55,839
If you're confused
by what I need,
614
00:20:56,048 --> 00:20:58,550
I brought some
sample testimonials
to guide you.
615
00:20:58,759 --> 00:21:01,136
I think you'll find
Mimsy Frupp's description
616
00:21:01,345 --> 00:21:03,388
of her granddaughter's
disastrous day
617
00:21:03,597 --> 00:21:06,391
jumping into fall leaves
especially edifying.
618
00:21:06,725 --> 00:21:10,312
She thought
the tyke was diving
into an autumnal paradise.
619
00:21:10,520 --> 00:21:12,689
Instead she found
herself submerged--
620
00:21:12,898 --> 00:21:14,483
Taylor, you know,
order something
or get out.
621
00:21:14,691 --> 00:21:15,776
(SIGHS) Fine.
622
00:21:16,568 --> 00:21:18,779
New menu.
I'll need a minute.
623
00:21:18,987 --> 00:21:20,030
- (GRUNTS)
- Excuse me. Password?
624
00:21:20,239 --> 00:21:21,490
DINERDANES321.
All caps.
625
00:21:21,698 --> 00:21:22,324
(DOOR OPENS)
626
00:21:22,532 --> 00:21:23,867
Hey, there she is!
Get in here!
627
00:21:24,076 --> 00:21:24,743
LORELAI: What about me?
628
00:21:24,952 --> 00:21:26,036
Ah, you get in
here, too.
629
00:21:26,286 --> 00:21:28,038
- Should I be nervous?
- LORELAI: As a rule, yes.
630
00:21:28,288 --> 00:21:30,624
Okay. Something
I want you to see.
631
00:21:31,250 --> 00:21:33,001
New menus.
632
00:21:33,252 --> 00:21:34,503
Very nice.
633
00:21:34,711 --> 00:21:35,754
Notice anything?
634
00:21:35,963 --> 00:21:36,797
Oh... Nope.
635
00:21:37,005 --> 00:21:37,881
Turn it over.
636
00:21:39,716 --> 00:21:41,927
That's my New Yorker
piece. Wow!
637
00:21:42,135 --> 00:21:43,011
Super-proud!
638
00:21:43,262 --> 00:21:44,554
For everyone to read.
639
00:21:44,763 --> 00:21:45,764
Now what can
I get you?
640
00:21:45,973 --> 00:21:46,932
Coffee, please.
641
00:21:47,140 --> 00:21:48,976
Oh, I have a list and
I need it all to go.
642
00:21:49,184 --> 00:21:50,560
You got it.
643
00:21:51,937 --> 00:21:54,648
That's my piece.
(IN SOUTHERN ACCENT)
Wrapped in plastic.
644
00:21:54,856 --> 00:21:57,526
Well, you knew when
Luke moved in with me
he'd turn weird eventually.
645
00:21:58,026 --> 00:22:00,904
Thanks for your patronage!
Be sure to call
my mom and rate me!
646
00:22:01,113 --> 00:22:03,073
Five stars is
appreciated!
647
00:22:04,658 --> 00:22:06,618
First official fare!
648
00:22:06,910 --> 00:22:09,454
That elderly woman
that I just successfully
drove here?
649
00:22:09,663 --> 00:22:13,625
That is widow Joy Puddleston
from 88 Peach Tree Drive.
650
00:22:13,834 --> 00:22:15,961
And right now,
thanks to
my new business,
651
00:22:16,169 --> 00:22:19,423
Widow Puddleston
is only 10 minutes
late for chemo!
652
00:22:19,631 --> 00:22:20,799
Are you ordering?
653
00:22:21,008 --> 00:22:23,260
Fudgy banana milkshake.
I am flying, man!
654
00:22:23,552 --> 00:22:24,928
- This is gonna work.
- Terrific.
655
00:22:25,220 --> 00:22:26,847
This area over here
would be perfect.
656
00:22:27,055 --> 00:22:28,307
Perfect for what,
Kirk?
657
00:22:28,640 --> 00:22:31,310
Have you heard about
my new business, Luke?
Ooo-ber?
658
00:22:31,518 --> 00:22:32,561
LORELAI: Do not make that sound!
659
00:22:32,769 --> 00:22:34,938
I need to find a place
where after people call
and order a car,
660
00:22:35,230 --> 00:22:36,231
they can come
to get picked up.
661
00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:37,774
This corner would
work beautifully.
662
00:22:37,983 --> 00:22:39,359
That's not how
Uber works, Kirk.
663
00:22:39,568 --> 00:22:40,902
Well, this isn't Uber,
this is...
664
00:22:41,111 --> 00:22:42,946
(DINERS LAUGHING)
665
00:22:43,113 --> 00:22:44,823
Luke, you need to
control your woman.
666
00:22:45,157 --> 00:22:47,159
- (PEOPLE LAUGHING)
- MAN: Oh!
667
00:22:47,367 --> 00:22:48,577
Those aren't even
your bagels!
668
00:22:48,785 --> 00:22:50,329
I'm buying them
new ones.
669
00:22:50,537 --> 00:22:52,080
- (MAN LAUGHS)
- (KNOCKING ON WINDOW)
670
00:22:52,289 --> 00:22:55,167
- Oh, crap!
I forgot about Paul?
- You're kidding?
671
00:22:55,375 --> 00:22:56,877
- No.
- He was at the house
this whole time?
672
00:22:57,085 --> 00:22:58,462
Didn't you notice
his car out front?
673
00:22:58,670 --> 00:22:59,338
No, didn't you?
674
00:22:59,546 --> 00:23:01,131
(PANTING)
There you are.
675
00:23:01,381 --> 00:23:03,508
Hi, Paul.
I'm so sorry,
I just--
676
00:23:03,717 --> 00:23:06,136
It was my fault because
I needed her to come look
at something with me.
677
00:23:06,345 --> 00:23:08,847
And I promised to leave
you a note and I didn't.
And it's--
678
00:23:09,056 --> 00:23:10,724
I was about to call you.
Sit. Are you hungry?
679
00:23:10,932 --> 00:23:12,309
Not really. (SIGHS)
680
00:23:12,517 --> 00:23:13,310
Not really?
681
00:23:13,602 --> 00:23:14,519
I'm not
a breakfast person.
682
00:23:14,728 --> 00:23:15,979
As in, you already
had breakfast?
683
00:23:16,188 --> 00:23:17,731
- No.
- Did you know
about this?
684
00:23:17,939 --> 00:23:19,316
Uh, I'm gonna go
wash my hands.
Just order me a tea?
685
00:23:19,524 --> 00:23:20,525
- Tea? No.
- Yes.
686
00:23:20,734 --> 00:23:21,860
- Go on.
- Okay.
687
00:23:23,362 --> 00:23:25,197
You have got to cut
that poor boy loose.
688
00:23:25,405 --> 00:23:26,948
I know, I keep meaning
to and I just keep...
689
00:23:27,157 --> 00:23:28,867
BOTH: Forgetting!
So, so sad!
690
00:23:29,076 --> 00:23:31,078
Your breakfast list,
coffee to go.
691
00:23:31,286 --> 00:23:32,704
Have a good flight.
Come back soon.
692
00:23:32,913 --> 00:23:33,872
And take a menu.
693
00:23:34,081 --> 00:23:35,499
(CHUCKLES)
Thanks, Luke.
694
00:23:35,957 --> 00:23:38,960
WOMAN: ♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la
695
00:23:39,169 --> 00:23:40,837
- Bye.
- Bye.
696
00:23:41,046 --> 00:23:42,923
♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la
697
00:23:43,131 --> 00:23:44,966
♪ La, la, la, la
698
00:23:45,258 --> 00:23:48,011
♪ La, la, la
La, la, la, la, la, la, la
699
00:23:48,220 --> 00:23:49,721
♪ La, la, la
700
00:23:53,892 --> 00:23:56,561
Crap, crap,
crap! Ooh!
701
00:23:58,021 --> 00:23:59,523
- Hey, got the food.
- Ready to go?
702
00:23:59,731 --> 00:24:00,816
Absolutely.
703
00:24:01,024 --> 00:24:04,569
♪ La, la, la
La, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪
704
00:24:04,778 --> 00:24:06,196
MICHEL:
I just don't understand it.
705
00:24:06,405 --> 00:24:07,656
Before we got married,
706
00:24:07,864 --> 00:24:10,033
Frederick was
more indifferent to
children than I am.
707
00:24:10,325 --> 00:24:11,701
- That's not possible.
- Oh, yes.
708
00:24:11,993 --> 00:24:13,203
We could be walking
by the well
709
00:24:13,453 --> 00:24:15,455
that Timmy fell down
and he'd throw a penny in.
710
00:24:15,664 --> 00:24:17,457
Maybe he kept his
feelings to himself.
711
00:24:17,666 --> 00:24:19,292
For five years? No.
712
00:24:19,501 --> 00:24:20,794
Something happened.
713
00:24:21,002 --> 00:24:23,922
Twenty minutes
after "I do,"
he lost his mind.
714
00:24:24,131 --> 00:24:26,133
Now all he talks about is,
"Guess who's pregnant?"
715
00:24:26,341 --> 00:24:28,009
Or "What school
district is it in?
716
00:24:28,218 --> 00:24:30,053
"You have to live
in a good school
district."
717
00:24:30,345 --> 00:24:33,014
And I say, "Why?
Isn't that what
boarding school is for?
718
00:24:33,223 --> 00:24:35,267
"So you don't have
to live in a good
school district?"
719
00:24:35,475 --> 00:24:37,477
I don't actually
think that's what
boarding school's for.
720
00:24:37,686 --> 00:24:39,187
Well, it's
very mystifying.
721
00:24:39,396 --> 00:24:41,273
He keeps shoving
children in my arms.
722
00:24:41,481 --> 00:24:43,191
"Hold this.
What do you feel?"
723
00:24:43,442 --> 00:24:46,528
"Well, now there's
spittle on my Brioni
suit so, rage?"
724
00:24:46,778 --> 00:24:48,447
Why does it smell
like onions in here?
725
00:24:48,738 --> 00:24:50,282
Oh, the new pop-up
crew in the kitchen.
726
00:24:50,490 --> 00:24:51,700
(SIGHS) That's tonight?
727
00:24:51,992 --> 00:24:53,076
Yes, that's tonight.
728
00:24:53,243 --> 00:24:54,536
I hate this pop-up idea.
729
00:24:54,744 --> 00:24:56,413
Well, we have
an empty dining room
and an empty kitchen.
730
00:24:56,621 --> 00:24:57,831
What do you propose
we do with them?
731
00:24:58,039 --> 00:24:58,957
Put on a show?
732
00:24:59,166 --> 00:25:01,960
We live in a town
where every restaurant
closes at 4:45.
733
00:25:02,169 --> 00:25:03,253
People need to eat.
734
00:25:03,503 --> 00:25:04,754
What's this new
chef guy's name again?
735
00:25:04,963 --> 00:25:06,631
Oh, come on.
736
00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:08,884
I can't remember.
It's like a million
syllables long.
737
00:25:09,092 --> 00:25:10,510
Roy Choi.
738
00:25:10,719 --> 00:25:12,679
- Oh, the food truck guy.
- He's not a food truck guy.
739
00:25:12,888 --> 00:25:14,139
Yes, he's a guy
with a food truck.
740
00:25:14,347 --> 00:25:16,266
A fleet of food trucks,
three restaurants
741
00:25:16,475 --> 00:25:18,101
and a massive
online following.
742
00:25:18,310 --> 00:25:20,103
Oh, so he tweets?
He's a tweeter?
743
00:25:20,395 --> 00:25:23,982
"Hey, kids.
Come grab some rad food
at the Dragonfly."
744
00:25:24,191 --> 00:25:25,484
Do you even know
how Twitter works?
745
00:25:25,692 --> 00:25:26,693
Oh, he's cool, right?
746
00:25:26,902 --> 00:25:28,320
Yes, he seems cool.
747
00:25:28,653 --> 00:25:30,655
I hate cool.
Makes me feel so uncool.
748
00:25:30,864 --> 00:25:33,742
I don't need some cool guy
running around tweeting,
749
00:25:33,950 --> 00:25:35,660
making me feel uncool
in my own inn.
750
00:25:35,869 --> 00:25:38,830
Why on earth
aren't you on Xanax?
It was invented for you.
751
00:25:39,039 --> 00:25:40,749
And that "Kogi" tattoo
on his arm?
What's that all about?
752
00:25:40,957 --> 00:25:42,292
Kogi is the name
of his business.
753
00:25:42,501 --> 00:25:44,753
So the tattoo,
while not as clever
as "Wino Forever,"
754
00:25:44,961 --> 00:25:46,505
is at least
thematically correct.
755
00:25:46,713 --> 00:25:48,131
We should hire
a regular chef.
756
00:25:48,340 --> 00:25:49,758
We should,
shouldn't we?
757
00:25:49,966 --> 00:25:51,801
- How long is
this pop-up thing?
- Two weeks.
758
00:25:52,093 --> 00:25:53,136
- Can it be less?
- No.
759
00:25:53,345 --> 00:25:54,137
I'd like it
to be less.
760
00:25:54,346 --> 00:25:55,764
I don't need a child.
I have you.
761
00:25:55,972 --> 00:25:56,848
(SIGHS)
762
00:25:58,058 --> 00:26:00,352
LORELAI: Great. He's gonna
set the whole place on fire.
763
00:26:00,894 --> 00:26:02,562
- ROY: Oh, hey,
Lorelai.
- Hey.
764
00:26:02,771 --> 00:26:03,772
This kitchen's awesome.
765
00:26:03,980 --> 00:26:05,023
Uh, Sookie set it
up perfectly.
766
00:26:05,357 --> 00:26:06,650
Yes, well,
Sookie's a genius.
767
00:26:06,900 --> 00:26:08,527
- What is all this?
- You like abalone?
768
00:26:08,818 --> 00:26:11,696
- Is that
a trick question?
- No. Abalone is delicious.
769
00:26:11,905 --> 00:26:15,158
I'm doing a green pea congee
with some fried shallots,
spring onions,
770
00:26:15,367 --> 00:26:18,286
cilantro,
chili oil and abalone.
Oh, I meant to ask.
771
00:26:18,537 --> 00:26:20,705
Can I screw with
the dining room a little?
Make it less granny?
772
00:26:20,914 --> 00:26:22,499
- Uh, no.
- Problem.
No problem.
773
00:26:22,707 --> 00:26:24,167
(CHUCKLES)
De-granny the place.
774
00:26:24,376 --> 00:26:27,212
Go nuts.
I hated my grandmother.
Horrible woman.
775
00:26:27,420 --> 00:26:30,423
But we are thrilled
that you are here.
And she's not. (LAUGHS)
776
00:26:30,632 --> 00:26:32,634
Okay. All right, come on,
you guys. Let's go.
777
00:26:32,842 --> 00:26:34,177
MICHEL: Thank you.
778
00:26:34,386 --> 00:26:37,764
Abalone!
Yay! (LAUGHS)
779
00:26:39,057 --> 00:26:40,183
Will you relax,
please?
780
00:26:40,433 --> 00:26:42,811
Between you and Frederick,
I'm going to have a stroke.
781
00:26:43,019 --> 00:26:44,604
- Where is it?
- What?
782
00:26:44,813 --> 00:26:46,356
The coffeemaker.
Where is
the coffeemaker?
783
00:26:46,606 --> 00:26:48,525
- Uh...
- It was right
here yesterday!
784
00:26:48,733 --> 00:26:49,985
It was right here! Roy!
785
00:26:50,235 --> 00:26:51,653
Uh, I...
Wait... (SIGHS)
786
00:26:51,903 --> 00:26:56,116
Roy! Um, Roy? (CHUCKLES)
Where's the coffee machine?
787
00:26:56,324 --> 00:26:58,034
Oh, yeah. I moved it.
I needed counter space.
788
00:26:58,243 --> 00:26:59,369
Eduardo can make
you a coffee.
789
00:26:59,578 --> 00:27:00,704
How? Is Eduardo magic?
790
00:27:00,912 --> 00:27:02,038
He makes
a stovetop version--
791
00:27:02,247 --> 00:27:03,248
- Eh, eh, eh.
- It really is--
792
00:27:03,456 --> 00:27:04,791
- Eh, eh, eh, eh.
- I can move it back.
793
00:27:04,958 --> 00:27:06,668
I am so sorry, but
I don't think this
is gonna work.
794
00:27:06,918 --> 00:27:07,961
- Michel!
- I'm right here.
795
00:27:08,169 --> 00:27:09,838
Oh, sorry.
Uh, Michel, call over
796
00:27:10,046 --> 00:27:11,881
to Momo's and see if
they can accommodate
797
00:27:12,173 --> 00:27:14,384
a crazy cool congee
extravaganza.
798
00:27:14,593 --> 00:27:16,511
Thank you.
It's been a pleasure.
799
00:27:16,720 --> 00:27:18,346
Louis here is gonna
walk you over
800
00:27:18,597 --> 00:27:20,390
to Momo's Tires
and get you settled.
801
00:27:20,599 --> 00:27:21,516
Wait, it's
a tire store?
802
00:27:21,683 --> 00:27:23,560
(CHUCKLES)
Buh-bye. Thank you.
803
00:27:25,437 --> 00:27:26,313
What, Michel?
804
00:27:26,521 --> 00:27:28,732
At least you were nicer
than you were to
Anthony Bourdain.
805
00:27:28,940 --> 00:27:30,400
Bourdain parked
in Sookie's spot.
806
00:27:30,609 --> 00:27:33,361
Now once again,
we have an empty kitchen.
807
00:27:33,612 --> 00:27:34,613
We will find
a full-time chef.
808
00:27:34,821 --> 00:27:35,947
- No, we won't.
- Yes, we will.
809
00:27:36,156 --> 00:27:37,115
You think no one
can cook like her.
810
00:27:37,324 --> 00:27:38,575
- No one can.
- April Bloomfield?
811
00:27:38,783 --> 00:27:39,951
- Too much pork.
- Alice Waters.
812
00:27:40,160 --> 00:27:41,786
- A little flighty.
- (SCOFFS) David Chang?
813
00:27:42,120 --> 00:27:43,622
AI's does the same thing.
814
00:27:43,830 --> 00:27:46,249
AI's Pancake World does
not do the same thing
as David Chang.
815
00:27:46,458 --> 00:27:47,542
I can't help it.
It has to be right.
816
00:27:47,751 --> 00:27:48,960
You miss her?
Fine. I don't.
817
00:27:49,169 --> 00:27:50,962
- She abandoned us.
- Oh, she did not abandon us.
818
00:27:51,171 --> 00:27:53,006
A six-month sabbatical.
That's what she said.
819
00:27:53,214 --> 00:27:54,758
She was going to
clear her head,
820
00:27:54,966 --> 00:27:56,551
and come up
with new recipes
and then be back.
821
00:27:56,760 --> 00:27:58,386
Well, that was
a year ago.
822
00:27:58,637 --> 00:28:00,055
Well, what can I say?
She found her calling.
823
00:28:00,305 --> 00:28:02,432
- Really. What's
her calling?
- Michel.
824
00:28:02,641 --> 00:28:04,893
No, I'm just curious.
Describe what she's doing
up there, up in the woods.
825
00:28:05,101 --> 00:28:07,270
She's working
with Dan Barber
at Blue Hill Farm.
826
00:28:07,479 --> 00:28:08,229
Doing?
827
00:28:08,396 --> 00:28:11,149
Well, she
is helping him develop
food-growing techniques
828
00:28:11,358 --> 00:28:13,151
and cultivating
the evolution of
fruits and vegetables,
829
00:28:13,360 --> 00:28:16,279
which helps the people
who eat them and--
830
00:28:16,488 --> 00:28:19,157
I don't know.
They're saving the world.
It's on the website.
831
00:28:19,366 --> 00:28:21,743
No, she's squatting
in a cabin with
no phone service,
832
00:28:21,993 --> 00:28:24,037
trying to grow a pineapple
out of a coat rack!
833
00:28:24,245 --> 00:28:25,622
- (CELL PHONE VIBRATING)
- She's not saving the world.
834
00:28:25,830 --> 00:28:28,124
She just finally found
a way to never
shave her legs again.
835
00:28:28,333 --> 00:28:29,626
Ooh! Hi, Gypsy!
836
00:28:29,834 --> 00:28:31,461
- GYPSY: I have good news.
- Great! What?
837
00:28:31,711 --> 00:28:34,464
Oh, Lorelai.
Damn, I dialed
the wrong number.
838
00:28:34,673 --> 00:28:35,715
I'll call you back.
839
00:28:35,924 --> 00:28:37,133
No, wait! When can
I get my car?
840
00:28:37,342 --> 00:28:38,343
I'm waiting for a part.
841
00:28:38,551 --> 00:28:40,679
It's coming in
a DeLorean from 1983.
842
00:28:40,887 --> 00:28:42,347
I need it tonight.
I have
to go to Hartford.
843
00:28:42,555 --> 00:28:43,598
I don't know
what to tell you.
844
00:28:43,890 --> 00:28:46,643
Oh, wait, yes I do.
Buy a new car.
845
00:28:46,851 --> 00:28:48,311
- Thanks. Great.
- I hate this one.
846
00:28:48,520 --> 00:28:49,813
- It's very old.
- I got it.
847
00:28:50,021 --> 00:28:51,231
But it's fun to kick.
848
00:28:51,439 --> 00:28:52,524
Bye, Gypsy.
849
00:28:52,732 --> 00:28:55,026
(INHALES DEEPLY AND SIGHS)
850
00:28:59,072 --> 00:29:00,448
Hi, Mrs. Gleason?
851
00:29:01,908 --> 00:29:04,035
Hey, Kirk?
It's freezing back here.
852
00:29:04,244 --> 00:29:06,621
Oh, that's probably because
I vented the floor.
853
00:29:06,830 --> 00:29:08,164
- Pardon?
- The floor.
854
00:29:08,373 --> 00:29:10,166
I drilled a few
holes in the floor.
855
00:29:11,292 --> 00:29:13,294
Was there an explanation
that came with that or...
856
00:29:13,503 --> 00:29:15,505
Two customers
passed out last week.
857
00:29:15,714 --> 00:29:18,341
They were old,
so it could've just been
old people passing out.
858
00:29:18,800 --> 00:29:22,470
Or carbon monoxide.
I just thought
better safe than sorry.
859
00:29:22,679 --> 00:29:23,888
Would you like
some water?
860
00:29:24,097 --> 00:29:25,098
Yes. That would be nice.
861
00:29:26,808 --> 00:29:28,184
Here, could you...
862
00:29:28,393 --> 00:29:29,853
Oh, uh, okay.
863
00:29:30,061 --> 00:29:31,521
And how about
some music?
864
00:29:31,730 --> 00:29:33,481
The radio was stolen,
but I'm happy
865
00:29:33,732 --> 00:29:35,984
to sing any song
you request
866
00:29:36,192 --> 00:29:37,569
as long as it's
by the Carpenters.
867
00:29:37,777 --> 00:29:39,446
How about something
by the Carpenters?
868
00:29:39,654 --> 00:29:40,655
Good choice.
869
00:29:41,740 --> 00:29:45,577
♪ Such a feeling's
coming over me
870
00:29:45,785 --> 00:29:49,998
♪ There is wonder
In most everything I see
871
00:29:50,206 --> 00:29:52,417
♪ Not a cloud in the sky
872
00:29:52,625 --> 00:29:54,794
♪ Now the sun is in my eye
873
00:29:55,003 --> 00:30:01,342
♪ And I won't be surprised
If it's a dream ♪
874
00:30:01,551 --> 00:30:05,889
WOMAN: ♪ I'm on the top
of the world looking down
on creation
875
00:30:06,097 --> 00:30:11,311
♪ And the only explanation
I can find
876
00:30:11,519 --> 00:30:13,396
(CAR ENGINE SPUTTERING)
877
00:30:13,605 --> 00:30:16,691
♪ Is the love that
I've found ever since
you've been around ♪
878
00:30:16,900 --> 00:30:18,777
LORELAI: Uh,
well, thanks, Kirk.
879
00:30:19,068 --> 00:30:20,445
KIRK: I'm not there yet.
880
00:30:20,737 --> 00:30:22,864
(LORELAI GROANS)
881
00:30:23,072 --> 00:30:24,282
You know,
I think I'm okay.
882
00:30:24,491 --> 00:30:25,700
It's door-to-door
service.
883
00:30:25,909 --> 00:30:27,619
Well, I won't tell
if you don't.
884
00:30:27,827 --> 00:30:29,496
I still have to charge
the same price.
885
00:30:29,704 --> 00:30:30,872
That's fine, Kirk.
886
00:30:31,080 --> 00:30:32,290
(ENGINE RATTLES AND STALLS)
887
00:30:33,291 --> 00:30:34,501
KIRK: You have arrived!
888
00:30:34,709 --> 00:30:35,710
Bye, Kirk.
889
00:30:36,628 --> 00:30:37,837
(CAR ENGINE STARTS)
890
00:30:38,046 --> 00:30:38,755
(ENGINE BACKFIRES)
891
00:30:41,341 --> 00:30:42,634
BERTA: Oh, hola! Hello.
892
00:30:42,842 --> 00:30:45,637
Hi. Um, uh,
I'm Lorelai.
893
00:30:45,845 --> 00:30:46,805
Emily's, um...
894
00:30:47,013 --> 00:30:49,015
(SPEAKING BERTA'S LANGUAGE)
895
00:30:49,224 --> 00:30:51,226
No, no, no.
I don't think
Rory's here yet.
896
00:30:51,434 --> 00:30:52,727
(SPEAKING HER LANGUAGE)
897
00:30:52,936 --> 00:30:55,897
Um, my, uh, daughter,
that's... That's her.
898
00:30:56,105 --> 00:30:57,774
Ah! (SPEAKING
HER LANGUAGE)
899
00:30:57,982 --> 00:31:00,360
She's not and
I'm not gonna be
flying solo tonight,
900
00:31:00,568 --> 00:31:01,653
- so I'm gonna
wait outside.
- Oh!
901
00:31:01,861 --> 00:31:04,447
But don't say anything
to, uh, Mrs. Gilmore.
902
00:31:04,656 --> 00:31:06,282
- Oh. (CHUCKLES)
- Okay? Shh. Shh.
903
00:31:06,491 --> 00:31:07,867
- Okay. (CHUCKLES)
- Shh. Okay. Thank you.
904
00:31:08,076 --> 00:31:09,327
Oh...
905
00:31:11,538 --> 00:31:12,705
LORELAI: Oh, thank God!
906
00:31:14,207 --> 00:31:16,543
Hey, you promised you'd
be here right at 7:00.
907
00:31:16,751 --> 00:31:18,294
- It's 7:05.
- Apology accepted.
908
00:31:18,503 --> 00:31:19,754
Why are you standing
out here? It's freezing.
909
00:31:19,963 --> 00:31:21,214
'Cause we're a team.
We go in together.
910
00:31:21,422 --> 00:31:22,966
You think Dean Martin
would go in without
Jerry Lewis?
911
00:31:23,174 --> 00:31:24,759
No, but Jerry Lewis would
totally go in without Dean.
912
00:31:24,968 --> 00:31:25,885
Are you saying that
I'm Jerry Lewis?
913
00:31:26,094 --> 00:31:27,804
- I'm going to ring
the doorbell now.
- How come I'm Jerry Lewis?
914
00:31:28,012 --> 00:31:29,347
- (DOORBELL RINGS)
- You do not need me to
answer that for you.
915
00:31:29,556 --> 00:31:31,099
Hmm. Hi, here's Rory.
916
00:31:31,307 --> 00:31:33,184
Ah! (SPEAKING HER LANGUAGE)
917
00:31:33,393 --> 00:31:35,019
LORELAI: Right.
918
00:31:35,645 --> 00:31:39,315
Rory, there you are.
It is so good to see you.
919
00:31:39,524 --> 00:31:41,860
Hi, Grandma.
It's so good to see you.
How are you?
920
00:31:42,068 --> 00:31:43,695
Well, I am a Gilmore.
921
00:31:43,945 --> 00:31:44,571
(CHUCKLES)
922
00:31:44,779 --> 00:31:47,532
My goodness, you look
absolutely radiant.
923
00:31:47,740 --> 00:31:50,243
Well, she is a Gilmore.
And 32, which helps.
924
00:31:50,451 --> 00:31:51,703
I think you must
be in love.
925
00:31:51,911 --> 00:31:53,204
Hi, Mom.
926
00:31:53,413 --> 00:31:54,747
(SIGHS) Don't track
muddy water in here.
927
00:31:54,956 --> 00:31:55,999
I just had
the floors waxed.
928
00:31:56,207 --> 00:31:57,292
You and I had
a better rapport.
929
00:31:57,500 --> 00:31:59,836
MAN: Excuse me, Mrs. Gilmore.
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
930
00:32:00,044 --> 00:32:03,715
Oh, good, good. In here.
I need light bulbs.
931
00:32:03,965 --> 00:32:05,592
This, there.
You see...
932
00:32:05,884 --> 00:32:07,010
There and there.
MAN: Ah.
933
00:32:07,260 --> 00:32:09,637
- The bulbs...
The bulbs are out.
- Hmm.
934
00:32:09,846 --> 00:32:10,805
- No problem.
- Yeah?
935
00:32:11,014 --> 00:32:13,725
And now...
And in here...
936
00:32:13,975 --> 00:32:14,934
That sconce...
937
00:32:15,143 --> 00:32:18,605
And then over
the picture, the light.
Over here, the picture...
938
00:32:18,855 --> 00:32:21,733
The... The lights over
the picture? Yes?
939
00:32:21,941 --> 00:32:23,359
Did you get
a new handyman, Mom?
940
00:32:24,694 --> 00:32:25,904
Cyrano?
941
00:32:26,112 --> 00:32:27,530
Grandma, did you hire
a new handyman?
942
00:32:27,739 --> 00:32:28,865
Yes. That's Alejandro.
943
00:32:29,073 --> 00:32:32,160
He's Berta's
husband and he's amazing.
He can fix anything.
944
00:32:32,493 --> 00:32:34,454
I'm usually wary
about hiring husbands.
945
00:32:34,662 --> 00:32:36,664
I hired a maid
once whose husband
was a gardener.
946
00:32:36,873 --> 00:32:40,084
He got angry with her
one day and decapitated
one of my topiaries.
947
00:32:40,335 --> 00:32:41,961
Hmm. Was it
the one of Spiro Agnew?
948
00:32:42,211 --> 00:32:43,421
(CHILDREN LAUGHING)
949
00:32:43,630 --> 00:32:44,339
(SCREAMS)
950
00:32:45,673 --> 00:32:46,966
- Ask her, ask her.
- Uh, Grandma...
951
00:32:47,175 --> 00:32:49,260
Just wondering...
Who are the kids?
952
00:32:49,469 --> 00:32:51,888
Oh, they're Berta's
children, I think.
953
00:32:52,096 --> 00:32:53,097
You think?
954
00:32:53,306 --> 00:32:54,390
They appeared
when she appeared,
955
00:32:54,599 --> 00:32:55,600
so I just put two
and two together.
956
00:32:55,808 --> 00:32:58,102
Mom, you suddenly have
an entire family living
in your house
957
00:32:58,311 --> 00:32:59,729
and you're not sure
if they're actually
a family?
958
00:32:59,938 --> 00:33:01,397
So what, Lorelai?
959
00:33:01,606 --> 00:33:03,608
I have a house.
They needed
a place to live.
960
00:33:03,816 --> 00:33:05,276
They work for me.
Problem?
961
00:33:05,485 --> 00:33:07,320
No. Yes. All good.
You're right.
962
00:33:07,612 --> 00:33:09,614
Now. Let's go sit
and have martinis.
963
00:33:09,822 --> 00:33:11,783
And you can tell me
all about this wonderful
new boy.
964
00:33:11,991 --> 00:33:13,451
(CHUCKLES) Oh, well,
he's not new.
965
00:33:13,660 --> 00:33:15,453
We've been going out
about two years.
966
00:33:15,703 --> 00:33:16,621
Really?
I must meet him.
967
00:33:16,829 --> 00:33:17,997
Oh, you did.
968
00:33:18,206 --> 00:33:19,749
Really? I'm sorry.
I'll meet him again.
969
00:33:19,958 --> 00:33:20,875
LORELAI: Won't matter.
970
00:33:21,084 --> 00:33:21,793
Come sit.
971
00:33:22,043 --> 00:33:23,503
- (GASPS)
- (STUTTERS) What?
972
00:33:23,711 --> 00:33:24,879
(BOTH GASPING)
973
00:33:26,464 --> 00:33:27,548
Uh, Mom?
974
00:33:27,757 --> 00:33:28,633
EMILY: Yes?
975
00:33:30,176 --> 00:33:31,970
- Um...
- EMILY: Oh, yes.
976
00:33:32,178 --> 00:33:33,596
Isn't it wonderful?
977
00:33:35,974 --> 00:33:36,975
It's... (SIGHS)
978
00:33:37,183 --> 00:33:39,268
- It's... It's...
- (LORELAI GASPING)
979
00:33:39,477 --> 00:33:40,645
(STUTTERS) It's...
980
00:33:41,312 --> 00:33:42,480
The whole wall!
981
00:33:42,772 --> 00:33:45,024
I had it painted
from one of my favorite
pictures of him.
982
00:33:45,233 --> 00:33:46,734
- Do you like it?
- Yes.
983
00:33:46,943 --> 00:33:47,735
RORY: Sure.
984
00:33:49,487 --> 00:33:53,950
It's so big.
985
00:33:54,617 --> 00:33:58,287
It's a Marco Toretti.
His specialty is
large canvases.
986
00:33:58,496 --> 00:34:00,581
Well, he did
himself proud.
987
00:34:01,165 --> 00:34:03,918
And, you wanted
it that big, right?
988
00:34:04,127 --> 00:34:04,961
Of course I did.
989
00:34:05,294 --> 00:34:07,005
'Cause it's a...
A real presence.
990
00:34:07,213 --> 00:34:09,048
As was your father.
Olive?
991
00:34:09,340 --> 00:34:11,092
And he came and
measured the space?
992
00:34:11,300 --> 00:34:12,760
- Who?
- Mario Andretti?
993
00:34:12,969 --> 00:34:14,762
Marco Toretti.
Yes, he did. Why?
994
00:34:14,971 --> 00:34:15,680
No reason.
995
00:34:15,888 --> 00:34:17,223
I wanted something
dramatic.
996
00:34:17,473 --> 00:34:18,516
And you got it.
997
00:34:18,766 --> 00:34:20,226
- I did.
- LORELAI: Okay.
998
00:34:21,894 --> 00:34:23,062
- Cheers.
- RORY: Cheers.
999
00:34:25,523 --> 00:34:26,858
(LORELAI SIGHS)
1000
00:34:28,568 --> 00:34:29,944
Oh, come on, Mom.
Admit it.
1001
00:34:30,153 --> 00:34:30,778
Admit what?
1002
00:34:30,987 --> 00:34:32,238
You Spinal Tapped
the painting.
1003
00:34:32,447 --> 00:34:33,865
- What?
- LORELAI: You Spinal Tapped
the painting.
1004
00:34:34,073 --> 00:34:35,033
You gave them
the wrong dimensions,
1005
00:34:35,241 --> 00:34:36,242
or they wrote down
the wrong dimensions,
1006
00:34:36,451 --> 00:34:37,660
and now you're trying
to pretend that
1007
00:34:37,869 --> 00:34:40,288
that massive portrait
is something
you actually intended.
1008
00:34:40,496 --> 00:34:42,081
- It was. Yes.
- LORELAI: It was?
1009
00:34:42,290 --> 00:34:45,251
You intended for Dad's
eyebrow and my forearm
to be exactly the same length?
1010
00:34:45,460 --> 00:34:46,169
Yes.
1011
00:34:46,377 --> 00:34:47,962
It's 18 feet tall!
1012
00:34:48,171 --> 00:34:50,256
- It's not 18 feet tall.
- LORELAI: It looks 18 feet tall.
1013
00:34:50,465 --> 00:34:51,674
Should I get
a tape measure?
1014
00:34:51,883 --> 00:34:53,009
- No.
- I can get
a tape measure.
1015
00:34:53,217 --> 00:34:54,135
Do not get
a tape measure.
1016
00:34:54,343 --> 00:34:55,678
Alejandro has
a tape measure.
1017
00:34:55,887 --> 00:34:58,931
I don't believe
you wanted a portrait
of Dad so massive,
1018
00:34:59,182 --> 00:35:01,059
- it doesn't fit
on the wall!
- Well, I did.
1019
00:35:01,267 --> 00:35:02,727
A portrait so big,
1020
00:35:02,935 --> 00:35:04,771
Peter Jackson
could hang it
at the Argonath.
1021
00:35:04,979 --> 00:35:05,897
Yes, he could.
1022
00:35:06,147 --> 00:35:07,690
You don't know
what the Argonath is!
1023
00:35:07,899 --> 00:35:09,484
Doesn't matter.
It's a nice
picture of Grandpa.
1024
00:35:09,692 --> 00:35:11,694
Mom. Do it over.
1025
00:35:11,903 --> 00:35:13,738
Get what you want.
You have the money.
1026
00:35:13,946 --> 00:35:15,239
This is what I want.
1027
00:35:15,448 --> 00:35:16,741
I swear it can't be.
1028
00:35:16,949 --> 00:35:18,493
- Why not?
- LORELAI: Because! Look at it.
1029
00:35:18,701 --> 00:35:21,913
It's nuts! "Wizard,
you shall not pass!"
Seriously!
1030
00:35:22,121 --> 00:35:24,624
Fine! I made a mistake!
Are you happy?
1031
00:35:24,832 --> 00:35:27,627
I gave them
the wrong dimensions
and they screwed it up.
1032
00:35:27,835 --> 00:35:29,420
I'm a screw-up!
I admit it!
1033
00:35:29,629 --> 00:35:31,672
Just please, please
don't let this be
1034
00:35:31,881 --> 00:35:34,175
the only thing
you remember to say
at my funeral!
1035
00:35:38,179 --> 00:35:39,639
(SIGHS) So...
1036
00:35:41,516 --> 00:35:42,767
Yes?
1037
00:35:43,684 --> 00:35:46,854
Did I tell you what
happened at the funeral
after you left?
1038
00:35:47,063 --> 00:35:49,357
Why, no, you didn't.
1039
00:35:50,441 --> 00:35:52,110
Because something did.
1040
00:35:53,444 --> 00:35:54,445
(SIGHS)
1041
00:35:56,781 --> 00:35:59,117
MAN: ♪ And they all pretend
they're Orphans
1042
00:35:59,408 --> 00:36:01,828
♪ And their memory's
like a train
1043
00:36:02,036 --> 00:36:05,498
♪ You can see it getting
smaller as it pulls away
1044
00:36:07,542 --> 00:36:10,086
♪ And the things
you can't remember
1045
00:36:10,294 --> 00:36:12,839
♪ Tell the things
you can't forget
1046
00:36:13,047 --> 00:36:16,634
♪ That history puts a saint
in every dream
1047
00:36:19,220 --> 00:36:22,140
♪ So put a candle
in the window
(INAUDIBLE)
1048
00:36:22,348 --> 00:36:24,851
♪ And a kiss upon his lips
1049
00:36:25,059 --> 00:36:29,147
♪ As the dish outside
the window fills with rain
1050
00:36:31,399 --> 00:36:36,362
♪ Just like a stranger with
the weeds in your heart
1051
00:36:36,571 --> 00:36:40,324
♪ And pay the fiddler off
till I come back again
1052
00:36:40,533 --> 00:36:44,912
♪ Oh, it's time, time, time
1053
00:36:46,164 --> 00:36:50,293
♪ And it's time, time, time
1054
00:36:51,252 --> 00:36:55,173
♪ And it's time, time, time
1055
00:36:55,381 --> 00:36:57,758
♪ That you love
1056
00:36:57,967 --> 00:37:02,597
♪ And it's time, time, time
1057
00:37:02,889 --> 00:37:06,851
♪ And it's time, time, time
1058
00:37:08,269 --> 00:37:12,190
♪ And it's time, time, time
1059
00:37:13,774 --> 00:37:17,570
♪ And it's time, time, time
1060
00:37:17,862 --> 00:37:19,947
♪ That you love
1061
00:37:20,156 --> 00:37:25,745
♪ And it's time, time, time ♪
1062
00:37:25,995 --> 00:37:29,248
So nice of you to come.
You're in Florida now,
aren't you?
1063
00:37:29,540 --> 00:37:32,627
We are.
You should come visit us
when things calm down a bit.
1064
00:37:32,919 --> 00:37:34,795
I'll do that.
I promise.
1065
00:37:38,883 --> 00:37:40,676
- MAN: Beautiful service,
Emily.
- Thank you.
1066
00:37:42,094 --> 00:37:43,221
I'm all right, Rory.
1067
00:37:43,429 --> 00:37:44,555
Okay.
1068
00:37:46,015 --> 00:37:46,891
I really am all right.
1069
00:37:47,099 --> 00:37:48,309
I know.
1070
00:37:50,353 --> 00:37:52,063
JASON: Lorelai.
1071
00:37:52,271 --> 00:37:55,399
(GASPS) Jason Stiles,
as I live and breathe.
1072
00:37:55,650 --> 00:37:58,319
You look like
the hottest Italian widow
I have ever seen.
1073
00:37:58,527 --> 00:38:00,613
(CHUCKLES) It's nice
that you came.
1074
00:38:00,821 --> 00:38:03,491
Your father was a lion.
You know that.
1075
00:38:03,699 --> 00:38:05,826
(SIGHS) I do.
1076
00:38:06,160 --> 00:38:07,954
I'm deeply sorry.
1077
00:38:08,162 --> 00:38:11,666
At least it was sudden.
Mom didn't have to
watch him fade away.
1078
00:38:12,667 --> 00:38:14,001
Have you seen my
mother by the way?
1079
00:38:14,418 --> 00:38:18,130
I've been successfully
keeping a living room's
worth of space between us.
1080
00:38:18,339 --> 00:38:19,757
She's in hostess mode.
1081
00:38:19,966 --> 00:38:21,425
The worst she'll do is send
you home with the shrimp.
1082
00:38:21,634 --> 00:38:24,136
- To which I'm allergic.
- Thus fulfilling
her devious plan.
1083
00:38:25,263 --> 00:38:26,389
You happy?
1084
00:38:26,597 --> 00:38:28,015
Right now or...
(CHUCKLES)
1085
00:38:30,101 --> 00:38:31,185
Are you happy?
1086
00:38:32,895 --> 00:38:33,771
Yes.
1087
00:38:35,064 --> 00:38:36,399
Umlauts.
1088
00:38:36,607 --> 00:38:37,400
Digger.
1089
00:38:37,650 --> 00:38:38,609
(CHUCKLES)
1090
00:38:40,444 --> 00:38:41,529
(SIGHS)
1091
00:38:46,742 --> 00:38:47,868
LORELAI: What you doin'?
1092
00:38:48,077 --> 00:38:50,204
Oh, there was
a screw loose in
the heating vent.
1093
00:38:50,413 --> 00:38:51,789
I didn't want it
to fall out.
1094
00:38:51,998 --> 00:38:53,958
Uh-huh.
Did you service
the boiler yet?
1095
00:38:54,166 --> 00:38:56,210
It was just
the one screw.
That's it.
1096
00:38:56,419 --> 00:38:57,878
Garbage disposal
working now?
1097
00:38:58,087 --> 00:39:00,631
I just saw it like that
and I had this with me so...
1098
00:39:00,840 --> 00:39:02,049
- How about
the rain gutters?
- Well...
1099
00:39:02,258 --> 00:39:03,968
You just can't leave
them clogged like that.
1100
00:39:04,176 --> 00:39:07,013
The water gets
in the house.
(SIGHS)
1101
00:39:07,221 --> 00:39:09,724
I can't help it.
Funerals make me nervous.
1102
00:39:09,932 --> 00:39:10,808
- Here.
- (SIGHS)
1103
00:39:11,058 --> 00:39:13,060
(BERTA SPEAKING OWN LANGUAGE)
1104
00:39:19,066 --> 00:39:20,359
(IN ENGLISH) Everything.
Sure.
1105
00:39:20,568 --> 00:39:22,069
(CONTINUES SPEAKING
OWN LANGUAGE)
1106
00:39:23,321 --> 00:39:24,363
(IN ENGLISH) Okay?
Sure.
1107
00:39:24,572 --> 00:39:26,240
Oh, Senora Gilmore,
don't worry.
1108
00:39:27,491 --> 00:39:28,826
Fine. Just take that
to the kitchen?
1109
00:39:29,035 --> 00:39:30,369
Ah! (SPEAKING HER LANGUAGE)
1110
00:39:31,662 --> 00:39:32,747
What language is that?
1111
00:39:33,039 --> 00:39:33,956
I do not know.
1112
00:39:34,165 --> 00:39:35,207
I thought it was Spanish,
1113
00:39:35,416 --> 00:39:37,918
but then I had the gardener
try to tell her to come
in early one day
1114
00:39:38,127 --> 00:39:40,171
and he came back and told me
she wasn't speaking Spanish.
1115
00:39:40,379 --> 00:39:41,964
It took me a while
to understand
what he was saying
1116
00:39:42,173 --> 00:39:44,759
because I need the pool man
to translate for the gardener.
1117
00:39:44,967 --> 00:39:46,260
Hey, time to
get going, kid.
1118
00:39:46,469 --> 00:39:47,511
Oh, shoot!
1119
00:39:47,762 --> 00:39:49,388
I have to get
to the airport!
1120
00:39:49,680 --> 00:39:51,349
My goodness,
so dramatic.
1121
00:39:51,557 --> 00:39:53,768
Lorelai, please tell
your daughter
I'm going to be fine.
1122
00:39:53,976 --> 00:39:55,519
The two of you
can just run along.
1123
00:39:55,728 --> 00:39:57,521
Oh, no. I'm gonna
have Luke drive her.
1124
00:39:57,772 --> 00:39:58,773
You're staying?
1125
00:39:59,357 --> 00:40:00,358
Yeah.
1126
00:40:00,566 --> 00:40:01,692
All right.
1127
00:40:01,901 --> 00:40:03,361
Grandma...
1128
00:40:03,569 --> 00:40:05,112
You made him
very proud.
1129
00:40:05,321 --> 00:40:06,447
I will call you
when I get to London.
1130
00:40:06,655 --> 00:40:07,907
(LUKE SIGHS)
1131
00:40:08,115 --> 00:40:09,784
Emily, everything's
in good shape here.
1132
00:40:09,992 --> 00:40:11,285
- I'm sorry?
- Just send her your bill.
1133
00:40:11,494 --> 00:40:13,287
Right. So...
1134
00:40:14,705 --> 00:40:17,208
Thank you, Luke.
Drive safe now.
1135
00:40:17,416 --> 00:40:18,626
Okay, love you.
1136
00:40:18,834 --> 00:40:20,669
Ditto.
Bye, guys.
1137
00:40:22,254 --> 00:40:23,756
(SIGHS)
1138
00:40:23,964 --> 00:40:25,841
So... Scotch?
1139
00:40:26,759 --> 00:40:27,635
God, yes.
1140
00:40:27,968 --> 00:40:29,220
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
1141
00:40:29,470 --> 00:40:31,055
WOMAN: ♪ Made my bed
1142
00:40:32,056 --> 00:40:34,642
♪ Light my light
1143
00:40:35,976 --> 00:40:42,400
♪ I'll arrive late tonight
1144
00:40:43,192 --> 00:40:50,282
♪ Blackbird, bye bye
(MOUTHING SONG LYRICS)
1145
00:40:51,742 --> 00:40:53,953
♪ Bye, bye
1146
00:40:55,413 --> 00:40:57,123
(FADING) ♪ Bye, bye
1147
00:40:58,999 --> 00:41:00,793
♪ Bye, bye ♪
1148
00:41:02,002 --> 00:41:03,546
(EMILY SIGHS)
1149
00:41:03,754 --> 00:41:05,631
- One of his favorites.
- (MUSIC STOPS)
1150
00:41:05,840 --> 00:41:07,967
A classic for
a classic.
1151
00:41:08,175 --> 00:41:09,135
Hear, hear.
1152
00:41:12,471 --> 00:41:15,391
(SIGHS) Well,
I know it's getting late,
1153
00:41:15,599 --> 00:41:18,811
and I know some of you have
a very long ride home.
1154
00:41:19,019 --> 00:41:23,274
I want to thank you
for your friendship
and for being here.
1155
00:41:23,482 --> 00:41:25,443
Richard loved
you all very much.
1156
00:41:26,485 --> 00:41:28,863
But before we all
go our separate ways,
1157
00:41:29,071 --> 00:41:32,450
I thought we could go around
and everyone could stand up
1158
00:41:32,658 --> 00:41:35,161
and tell a favorite
story about Richard.
1159
00:41:36,871 --> 00:41:37,913
What did she say?
1160
00:41:38,122 --> 00:41:40,458
I know there are hundreds
to choose from.
1161
00:41:40,666 --> 00:41:43,752
But too bad, I'm going
to limit you to just one.
1162
00:41:43,961 --> 00:41:45,045
The best one.
1163
00:41:45,463 --> 00:41:49,717
The one that most sums
up the Richard Gilmore
you know and love.
1164
00:41:49,925 --> 00:41:51,385
Let's start here.
Jack?
1165
00:41:52,344 --> 00:41:53,679
(GRUNTS)
1166
00:41:53,888 --> 00:41:57,475
Well, Richard and I
go back, um, to Yale.
1167
00:41:57,683 --> 00:41:59,185
And we both went there...
1168
00:41:59,393 --> 00:42:00,811
Excuse me.
Will you switch
places with me?
1169
00:42:01,020 --> 00:42:02,313
What?
There's a draft.
1170
00:42:02,521 --> 00:42:03,397
We're outside.
1171
00:42:03,606 --> 00:42:05,274
Yeah, don't wanna go next.
1172
00:42:05,483 --> 00:42:07,485
JACK: So, I decide to sneak a pair
1173
00:42:07,693 --> 00:42:10,404
of black lacy women's
unmentionables
1174
00:42:10,613 --> 00:42:12,364
into his locker
for everyone to see.
1175
00:42:12,573 --> 00:42:15,034
And so, one day
after polo practice,
1176
00:42:15,242 --> 00:42:16,577
I'm at the locker
and I'm trying
1177
00:42:16,785 --> 00:42:18,746
to pick the lock
so that I can leave
1178
00:42:18,954 --> 00:42:21,081
the unmentionables there,
and suddenly,
1179
00:42:21,415 --> 00:42:25,294
I look up and I see him
standing there across
the way at my locker
1180
00:42:25,503 --> 00:42:29,006
also holding a pair
of black lacy knickers.
1181
00:42:29,256 --> 00:42:30,883
(GUESTS CHUCKLE)
1182
00:42:31,133 --> 00:42:32,718
And he sees me and
we look at each other
1183
00:42:32,968 --> 00:42:35,262
holding these
women's underpants.
1184
00:42:35,471 --> 00:42:37,139
So finally,
Richard says,
1185
00:42:37,348 --> 00:42:41,393
"Well, we can't
possibly both be
in black." (CHUCKLES)
1186
00:42:41,602 --> 00:42:42,937
(ALL LAUGHING)
1187
00:42:45,731 --> 00:42:46,649
Wonderful.
1188
00:42:46,857 --> 00:42:48,400
- (JACK SIGHS)
- Franklin?
1189
00:42:50,694 --> 00:42:53,405
He cheated at cards.
1190
00:42:53,614 --> 00:42:55,491
(ALL LAUGHING)
1191
00:42:55,699 --> 00:42:57,159
EMILY: Only with you, Franklin.
1192
00:42:57,368 --> 00:43:00,538
One day, I'd just got myself
a brand new Jaguar.
1193
00:43:00,746 --> 00:43:03,916
Richard said,
"Let's play for pinks."
1194
00:43:04,124 --> 00:43:05,459
So I say,
"Now, look here, Gilmore.
1195
00:43:05,668 --> 00:43:08,087
"You keep your
hands off my new car."
1196
00:43:08,295 --> 00:43:09,046
(ALL LAUGHING)
1197
00:43:09,255 --> 00:43:11,632
And he smiles and says,
"Make me."
1198
00:43:11,840 --> 00:43:12,925
(LAUGHING CONTINUES)
1199
00:43:13,217 --> 00:43:14,385
And next we have--
1200
00:43:14,635 --> 00:43:16,512
Oh, looks like
Martin's asleep.
1201
00:43:16,720 --> 00:43:17,596
Lorelai?
1202
00:43:19,223 --> 00:43:20,307
What?
1203
00:43:20,516 --> 00:43:21,308
You're up.
1204
00:43:21,600 --> 00:43:22,810
(STUTTERS) No. No, no.
1205
00:43:23,143 --> 00:43:24,603
(STAMMERS) Let's...
1206
00:43:24,895 --> 00:43:27,398
We can wake
Martin up, huh?
1207
00:43:27,648 --> 00:43:30,943
Hey, Marty. Marty.
Babe Paley's in the corner.
1208
00:43:31,151 --> 00:43:32,319
- EMILY: Lorelai.
- Hmm?
1209
00:43:32,903 --> 00:43:33,988
Just go.
1210
00:43:35,155 --> 00:43:38,325
Uh... Uh...
1211
00:43:38,534 --> 00:43:41,662
(SIGHS) The best story...
Best story.
1212
00:43:41,870 --> 00:43:42,871
There's so many great...
1213
00:43:43,080 --> 00:43:45,040
No... No one else
wants to go?
1214
00:43:45,249 --> 00:43:47,793
Nope? They don't
because it's my turn.
1215
00:43:48,043 --> 00:43:49,628
So, um, okay...
1216
00:43:49,920 --> 00:43:53,674
I'm 10, and
I ask Dad if...
1217
00:43:53,882 --> 00:43:57,803
To play hide and seek,
and I went and hid
in his steamer trunk,
1218
00:43:58,053 --> 00:44:00,139
and he left and
went to Holland.
(CHUCKLES)
1219
00:44:02,182 --> 00:44:04,101
I'm sorry.
No, it was Belgium.
1220
00:44:04,310 --> 00:44:07,187
Or... Oh, uh, I'm 15,
1221
00:44:07,396 --> 00:44:11,942
and we were having
our, um, Gilmore
Fourth of July party
1222
00:44:12,151 --> 00:44:14,445
and Dad was dressed
as Paul Revere.
1223
00:44:14,695 --> 00:44:18,741
And I guess I was supposed
to be, um, greeting people
1224
00:44:18,949 --> 00:44:20,743
or playing the flute
with a peg leg,
1225
00:44:20,951 --> 00:44:23,954
so he came looking
for me and he burst
into the pool house
1226
00:44:24,163 --> 00:44:27,791
where I was on the couch
with Teddy Wiedemier III,
1227
00:44:28,042 --> 00:44:31,337
and we had just finished,
uh... (CHUCKLES)
1228
00:44:31,629 --> 00:44:34,340
"The British are coming!
The British are..." Anyhow,
you get it.
1229
00:44:34,590 --> 00:44:36,342
So Dad's livid and
he's running around
the party yelling,
1230
00:44:36,634 --> 00:44:38,218
"Emily, our daughter's
losing her virginity
1231
00:44:38,427 --> 00:44:40,387
"five feet away
from the president
of J.P. Morgan,"
1232
00:44:40,596 --> 00:44:42,139
which was embarrassing
and not true,
1233
00:44:42,348 --> 00:44:44,350
because that ship had
sailed a long time ago,
1234
00:44:44,558 --> 00:44:46,977
like Nina, Pinta,
Santa Maria time ago,
1235
00:44:47,186 --> 00:44:48,562
if you know what I mean.
1236
00:44:49,521 --> 00:44:51,106
(SNAPS FINGERS) So...
1237
00:44:52,858 --> 00:44:56,570
Oh, I'm sorry,
it was not Belgium.
It was Croatia.
1238
00:45:04,244 --> 00:45:05,537
(EXHALES)
1239
00:45:10,751 --> 00:45:12,503
EMILY: It was wonderful
seeing you again.
1240
00:45:12,753 --> 00:45:15,089
We should get together
next month maybe. Can we?
1241
00:45:15,297 --> 00:45:16,382
WOMAN: I'd love to.
1242
00:45:16,632 --> 00:45:18,759
EMILY: All right now,
you all drive carefully.
1243
00:45:18,967 --> 00:45:19,927
Thank you so much.
1244
00:45:20,886 --> 00:45:21,887
Good night.
1245
00:45:22,096 --> 00:45:23,055
MAN: Good night.
1246
00:45:23,347 --> 00:45:24,181
(DOOR CLOSES)
1247
00:45:38,320 --> 00:45:39,321
(SOFTLY) I'm sorry.
1248
00:45:46,704 --> 00:45:47,746
You took me
by surprise.
1249
00:45:47,955 --> 00:45:49,123
Not another word.
1250
00:45:52,459 --> 00:45:54,086
It was late and
there was scotch.
1251
00:45:54,294 --> 00:45:55,921
Lorelai, stop talking.
1252
00:46:00,801 --> 00:46:01,635
I didn't mean to--
1253
00:46:01,844 --> 00:46:02,553
(SLAMS GLASS)
1254
00:46:03,429 --> 00:46:04,346
Don't follow.
1255
00:46:07,307 --> 00:46:08,392
(SIGHS)
1256
00:46:10,477 --> 00:46:11,395
Mom...
1257
00:46:13,522 --> 00:46:14,523
Mom...
1258
00:46:15,274 --> 00:46:16,275
(SNIFFLES)
1259
00:46:16,525 --> 00:46:17,735
Please, come back.
1260
00:46:18,110 --> 00:46:21,238
I didn't do it on purpose.
I had a brain freeze.
I panicked.
1261
00:46:21,989 --> 00:46:22,781
Mom.
1262
00:46:22,990 --> 00:46:24,283
EMILY: You two start
with the silver.
1263
00:46:24,491 --> 00:46:26,994
I didn't know there'd
be a test.
1264
00:46:27,619 --> 00:46:28,328
A test?
1265
00:46:28,537 --> 00:46:29,997
- Yes.
- You didn't know
there'd be a test?
1266
00:46:30,205 --> 00:46:31,123
Is that what
you just said to me?
1267
00:46:31,331 --> 00:46:32,791
I also said I'm sorry.
1268
00:46:33,000 --> 00:46:34,001
- Did you?
- Yes.
1269
00:46:34,209 --> 00:46:35,169
- Did you?
- Yes.
1270
00:46:35,377 --> 00:46:36,044
Did you really?
1271
00:46:36,211 --> 00:46:37,713
Okay. You're making
me doubt it now--
1272
00:46:37,921 --> 00:46:39,214
I asked you
for a story.
1273
00:46:39,423 --> 00:46:42,468
"Oh, there was a time
when Dad bought me a doll.
I loved this doll."
1274
00:46:42,676 --> 00:46:45,929
Something like that.
Get out! Now!
1275
00:46:46,847 --> 00:46:49,057
"Oh, I remember when
he took me to the park."
1276
00:46:49,266 --> 00:46:50,392
He didn't take me
to a park.
1277
00:46:50,601 --> 00:46:51,977
- The zoo.
- That either.
1278
00:46:52,186 --> 00:46:53,729
The store!
The club! Kathmandu!
1279
00:46:53,937 --> 00:46:55,606
I don't give a damn
where he took you.
1280
00:46:55,814 --> 00:46:58,776
All I wanted was
a fond anecdote
from his only daughter
1281
00:46:58,984 --> 00:47:00,944
and what I got was
a rambling diatribe
1282
00:47:01,153 --> 00:47:03,197
on being abandoned
in a steamer trunk.
1283
00:47:03,489 --> 00:47:05,699
- I didn't...
- You have nothing
but contempt for this family.
1284
00:47:05,908 --> 00:47:06,742
That is not true.
1285
00:47:06,950 --> 00:47:09,286
What did we ever do
to you that filled you
with such contempt?
1286
00:47:09,495 --> 00:47:12,372
Love you? Support you?
Love Rory? Support Rory?
1287
00:47:12,581 --> 00:47:14,166
I'm not filled
with contempt.
1288
00:47:14,374 --> 00:47:16,877
All my other
friends have children
who worship them,
1289
00:47:17,085 --> 00:47:18,587
who call them every day,
1290
00:47:18,796 --> 00:47:20,881
who take pride
in the family name
and traditions.
1291
00:47:21,089 --> 00:47:22,049
I have pride.
1292
00:47:22,257 --> 00:47:24,676
(DISHES SHATTER)
Your father was
a great man.
1293
00:47:24,927 --> 00:47:26,136
A pillar of
the community.
1294
00:47:26,345 --> 00:47:27,471
A man amongst men.
1295
00:47:27,679 --> 00:47:28,680
(VOICE BREAKING) I know.
1296
00:47:28,889 --> 00:47:31,141
And you dishonor him today
like this in his own house.
1297
00:47:31,350 --> 00:47:32,976
I didn't mean
to dishonor him.
1298
00:47:33,185 --> 00:47:35,145
Well, what did you
mean to do, Lorelai?
Break my heart in public?
1299
00:47:35,354 --> 00:47:36,897
No fun doing it
in private anymore?
1300
00:47:37,105 --> 00:47:37,815
Mom.
1301
00:47:38,023 --> 00:47:40,651
I know that you are
in massive pain.
1302
00:47:40,859 --> 00:47:42,444
Believe it or not,
I'm in pain, too.
1303
00:47:42,653 --> 00:47:44,321
I'm tired and my
head is spinning,
1304
00:47:44,571 --> 00:47:45,906
and I haven't
eaten in two days.
1305
00:47:46,114 --> 00:47:47,074
You? Not eaten? Please.
1306
00:47:47,282 --> 00:47:48,367
Yes, me!
1307
00:47:48,575 --> 00:47:50,869
I'm surprised you didn't
have a pizza delivered
during Ave Maria.
1308
00:47:51,078 --> 00:47:52,663
Well, I haven't eaten
and I drank
1309
00:47:52,871 --> 00:47:54,373
my weight in
single malt scotch.
1310
00:47:54,581 --> 00:47:56,416
I screwed up.
I made a mistake.
1311
00:47:56,750 --> 00:47:58,627
That was not a mistake.
That was premeditated.
1312
00:47:58,836 --> 00:48:01,380
How could it have been
premeditated if I didn't
know it was coming?
1313
00:48:01,630 --> 00:48:05,175
You never do anything unless
it's exactly what you want to
do. You never have.
1314
00:48:05,384 --> 00:48:07,970
You blow through life
like a natural disaster
1315
00:48:08,220 --> 00:48:10,347
knocking down everything
and everyone in your path.
1316
00:48:10,556 --> 00:48:12,432
I wonder if Luke knew
what he was getting into
with you?
1317
00:48:12,641 --> 00:48:13,267
Don't.
1318
00:48:13,475 --> 00:48:15,102
Did you ever ask
him what he wanted?
1319
00:48:15,310 --> 00:48:17,521
Where he wanted to live?
If he wanted children?
1320
00:48:17,729 --> 00:48:19,565
I'm sure none of that
mattered to Lorelai Gilmore.
1321
00:48:19,773 --> 00:48:22,568
Nothing ever matters to her
except what she wants,
what she feels.
1322
00:48:22,776 --> 00:48:25,279
And God help you
if she thinks
you've wronged her.
1323
00:48:25,487 --> 00:48:29,241
She will hold onto that grudge
forever just waiting for
the moment to get back at you.
1324
00:48:29,449 --> 00:48:32,286
I made a mistake!
A goddamn mistake!
1325
00:48:32,494 --> 00:48:34,288
You've never let me
make a mistake ever.
1326
00:48:34,496 --> 00:48:37,457
Not once in my life,
which is how we always
find ourselves here.
1327
00:48:37,666 --> 00:48:38,292
Where?
1328
00:48:38,500 --> 00:48:39,793
Standing in
the middle of this room
1329
00:48:40,002 --> 00:48:41,253
yelling at each
other like idiots!
1330
00:48:41,461 --> 00:48:43,422
How dare
you call me an idiot!
1331
00:48:43,630 --> 00:48:44,798
I just lost my husband!
1332
00:48:45,132 --> 00:48:46,842
(CRYING) I just
lost my father!
1333
00:48:47,050 --> 00:48:48,427
And you couldn't care less!
1334
00:48:48,635 --> 00:48:51,054
(INHALES SHARPLY)
That's horrible.
1335
00:48:52,764 --> 00:48:53,974
You're horrible.
1336
00:48:54,182 --> 00:48:55,142
Get out!
1337
00:48:55,893 --> 00:48:58,312
First the help,
then me.
Seems about right.
1338
00:48:58,604 --> 00:48:59,563
Go home!
1339
00:48:59,897 --> 00:49:02,733
Go back to your beloved town
with its carnies and misfits,
1340
00:49:02,941 --> 00:49:04,568
and tell them how
your intolerable mother
1341
00:49:04,776 --> 00:49:06,570
yelled at you at
your father's funeral.
1342
00:49:06,862 --> 00:49:09,406
And they can all
console you and tell
you what a witch I am
1343
00:49:09,615 --> 00:49:10,866
and how perfect you are!
1344
00:49:11,074 --> 00:49:11,992
(SIGHS)
1345
00:49:12,910 --> 00:49:15,621
Full freakin' circle.
1346
00:49:20,834 --> 00:49:23,045
You couldn't have just
said he was well-read?
1347
00:49:23,587 --> 00:49:24,463
(VOICE BREAKING)
I know.
1348
00:49:24,671 --> 00:49:26,632
"My father. Boy,
did he love books."
1349
00:49:26,924 --> 00:49:27,966
I know, I know.
1350
00:49:28,216 --> 00:49:30,552
"And stamps. Whoo,
that stamp collection."
1351
00:49:30,761 --> 00:49:32,638
I was under
a lot of pressure.
You weren't there.
1352
00:49:32,846 --> 00:49:34,848
And how did you neglect
to tell me this?
1353
00:49:35,182 --> 00:49:37,601
- Oh, I didn't think
she was mad anymore.
- You didn't?
1354
00:49:37,809 --> 00:49:40,395
Well, I assumed she was,
because she hadn't answered
1355
00:49:40,604 --> 00:49:43,315
any of my calls or e-mails
for the last four months,
1356
00:49:43,607 --> 00:49:45,359
but I thought maybe
she'd hide it
in front of you.
1357
00:49:45,567 --> 00:49:47,110
(SCOFFS) Because
that's ever happened.
1358
00:49:47,319 --> 00:49:48,862
(SPEAKING HER LANGUAGE)
1359
00:49:50,489 --> 00:49:53,742
What could possibly
elicit that kind of
smile in this house?
1360
00:49:53,951 --> 00:49:55,869
It smells meaty.
1361
00:49:56,078 --> 00:49:57,621
Yes, but what
kind of meat?
1362
00:49:57,829 --> 00:49:59,998
And there's cheese,
and layers of...
1363
00:50:00,832 --> 00:50:02,459
- It's crunchy.
- Huh.
1364
00:50:02,668 --> 00:50:04,169
LORELAI: No, wait,
it's smooshy.
1365
00:50:04,378 --> 00:50:05,629
It's crunchy
and smooshy.
1366
00:50:05,837 --> 00:50:06,964
What's crunchy
and smooshy?
1367
00:50:07,172 --> 00:50:09,341
Peanut butter?
Or badly mixed cement?
1368
00:50:09,549 --> 00:50:12,803
So we've got meat,
cheese, peanut butter
or badly mixed cement.
1369
00:50:13,053 --> 00:50:14,471
Oh, for God's sake,
just eat it.
1370
00:50:14,721 --> 00:50:16,890
I'll tell you what,
I'll dive in first.
1371
00:50:17,099 --> 00:50:20,018
Mom always made me
taste her food
before she'd eat a bite.
1372
00:50:22,562 --> 00:50:26,066
Mmm. Delicious.
And it could be
peanut butter.
1373
00:50:26,274 --> 00:50:27,567
- Oh, yeah.
- Cool.
1374
00:50:27,776 --> 00:50:29,111
I really appreciate your
inviting me to dinner.
1375
00:50:29,319 --> 00:50:30,904
It was pretty
harrowing out there.
1376
00:50:31,697 --> 00:50:32,614
Who is this?
1377
00:50:32,823 --> 00:50:34,366
Kirk, your car broke down
at the end of the driveway.
1378
00:50:34,574 --> 00:50:36,952
It's lucky for me
I'm a very loud crier.
1379
00:50:37,160 --> 00:50:38,245
If your maid hadn't
heard my sobs,
1380
00:50:38,453 --> 00:50:39,997
I don't even want
to think what
would've happened.
1381
00:50:40,205 --> 00:50:41,665
You probably would've
run out of Kleenex.
1382
00:50:41,957 --> 00:50:43,500
It's nice we can
joke about it now.
1383
00:50:44,334 --> 00:50:46,044
Thanks for letting me stash
some boxes here, Grandma.
1384
00:50:46,253 --> 00:50:47,379
Where are you
going to live?
1385
00:50:47,587 --> 00:50:49,297
I'll get my own place
again, eventually.
1386
00:50:49,506 --> 00:50:51,717
Yeah, but for now
she's Jack Kerouac.
She's On the Road- ing it.
1387
00:50:52,009 --> 00:50:52,968
Pass the peyote.
1388
00:50:53,552 --> 00:50:54,803
But after you've
passed the peyote,
1389
00:50:55,053 --> 00:50:56,930
what bathroom will
you use to throw up in?
1390
00:50:57,139 --> 00:50:58,765
Well, I have
many options.
1391
00:50:58,974 --> 00:51:00,475
Paris lets me stay
at her place
when I'm in New York.
1392
00:51:00,684 --> 00:51:02,102
Or I can stay with Mom,
or Lane or you.
1393
00:51:02,310 --> 00:51:03,103
So you're homeless.
1394
00:51:03,311 --> 00:51:04,938
- (DOORBELL RINGS)
- I am not homeless.
1395
00:51:05,147 --> 00:51:06,314
But you don't
live anyplace.
1396
00:51:06,523 --> 00:51:07,441
- (BERTA GREETING SOMEONE)
- Just for now.
1397
00:51:07,649 --> 00:51:09,735
You're okay with
this vagabond existence
she's leading?
1398
00:51:09,985 --> 00:51:11,361
Like... Like a groupie?
1399
00:51:11,570 --> 00:51:12,446
I wish
she was a groupie.
1400
00:51:12,654 --> 00:51:13,822
I'd get better
tickets to stuff.
1401
00:51:14,031 --> 00:51:14,906
Luke! Buddy!
1402
00:51:15,115 --> 00:51:17,034
Hey, everybody. Emily.
1403
00:51:17,784 --> 00:51:18,994
- Careful!
- Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry.
1404
00:51:19,202 --> 00:51:20,662
- No, I'll do that.
- Oh, sure.
1405
00:51:20,871 --> 00:51:22,039
LORELAI: Uh, thanks
for coming, hon.
1406
00:51:22,247 --> 00:51:25,292
Yes. Saved us all
a very expensive
cab ride.
1407
00:51:25,500 --> 00:51:27,627
Are you all leaving now?
We all just sat down to
dinner.
1408
00:51:27,836 --> 00:51:31,006
Oh, no, please.
Just eat. Um, no rush.
I can just, uh...
1409
00:51:31,840 --> 00:51:33,717
- (STUTTERING)
Buh-buh-buh!
- Oh...
1410
00:51:36,094 --> 00:51:37,888
This really
is delicious.
1411
00:51:38,930 --> 00:51:41,600
Oh, thank you.
(BREATHES DEEPLY)
1412
00:51:41,850 --> 00:51:42,809
You don't like it?
1413
00:51:43,018 --> 00:51:46,021
What? Oh, uh...
(SOFTLY) Okay.
1414
00:51:47,189 --> 00:51:48,356
Very good.
1415
00:51:48,565 --> 00:51:50,859
Isn't it?
I could eat here
every night.
1416
00:51:52,319 --> 00:51:53,737
- Luke?
- Hmm, yes?
1417
00:51:53,945 --> 00:51:56,031
What do you think about
Rory's living situation?
1418
00:51:56,239 --> 00:51:57,699
- Um...
- Her traipsing around
1419
00:51:57,908 --> 00:52:00,368
from one couch to another
like she's Llewyn Davis.
1420
00:52:00,577 --> 00:52:01,411
Oh, it's fine.
1421
00:52:02,412 --> 00:52:07,209
Well, I mean, you know,
she's grown, and she's...
1422
00:52:07,417 --> 00:52:09,336
Uh, did you read
her New Yorker piece
1423
00:52:09,544 --> 00:52:11,088
that she wrote?
I put it on the menu.
1424
00:52:11,296 --> 00:52:14,257
Why is everyone
treating this like it's
a normal rite of passage?
1425
00:52:14,466 --> 00:52:17,511
Rory is a 32-year-old
college-educated woman
1426
00:52:17,719 --> 00:52:19,638
with no permanent address.
That's not normal.
1427
00:52:19,846 --> 00:52:22,099
Um, can I
be excused?
1428
00:52:22,307 --> 00:52:24,768
They're playing soccer
out there and they seem
to be short a man.
1429
00:52:24,976 --> 00:52:26,144
Go.
1430
00:52:28,855 --> 00:52:30,857
Hi, I'm Kirk!
Over here!
1431
00:52:31,650 --> 00:52:33,151
Explain to me again
who that person is?
1432
00:52:33,401 --> 00:52:34,820
Oh, that I could.
1433
00:52:35,070 --> 00:52:36,321
Grandma, I really don't
want you to worry about me.
1434
00:52:36,530 --> 00:52:37,864
I know exactly
what I'm doing.
1435
00:52:38,073 --> 00:52:39,658
I'm busier than
I've ever been.
1436
00:52:39,866 --> 00:52:41,576
I'm traveling,
I'm pursuing a goal.
1437
00:52:41,785 --> 00:52:44,121
And I don't have to store
my stuff here if it's going
to make you worry.
1438
00:52:44,329 --> 00:52:47,124
Of course, you can leave
your things here.
That's not what I meant.
1439
00:52:47,999 --> 00:52:49,126
There's a chair now.
1440
00:52:49,334 --> 00:52:50,418
Oh, sure.
1441
00:52:54,840 --> 00:52:58,009
KIRK: Goal!
1442
00:53:03,390 --> 00:53:04,683
Call me from London.
1443
00:53:05,725 --> 00:53:06,893
- Luke.
- Yes?
1444
00:53:07,185 --> 00:53:08,353
That was just my way
of saying goodbye.
1445
00:53:08,603 --> 00:53:09,855
Oh, goodbye.
1446
00:53:10,063 --> 00:53:10,981
Good night, Mom.
1447
00:53:11,189 --> 00:53:12,482
Kirk, we're leaving!
1448
00:53:12,691 --> 00:53:14,025
- Talk tomorrow.
- Yep.
1449
00:53:17,279 --> 00:53:18,488
LUKE: Kirk! Now!
1450
00:53:22,200 --> 00:53:23,535
(CAR ENGINE STARTING)
1451
00:53:23,827 --> 00:53:24,953
WOMAN: ♪ Ba, ba, ba
Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba
1452
00:53:25,203 --> 00:53:28,748
♪ Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba
1453
00:53:28,957 --> 00:53:31,376
♪ Ba, ba, ba
Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba ♪
1454
00:53:31,585 --> 00:53:33,545
(BELL CHIMES)
1455
00:53:34,462 --> 00:53:36,256
- I want to thank you, Luke.
- Oh, you're welcome, Kirk.
1456
00:53:36,464 --> 00:53:37,841
Now before I go,
1457
00:53:38,049 --> 00:53:40,010
we should get
our stories straight about
what happened tonight.
1458
00:53:40,260 --> 00:53:42,095
Uh, your car broke down,
I drove to Hartford,
1459
00:53:42,304 --> 00:53:43,471
picked you up
and drove you back home.
1460
00:53:43,680 --> 00:53:46,183
Or you broke down,
I drove to Hartford
and picked you up,
1461
00:53:46,391 --> 00:53:47,434
and drove you
back home.
1462
00:53:47,642 --> 00:53:48,727
- What?
- Much better story.
1463
00:53:48,935 --> 00:53:49,686
No.
1464
00:53:49,895 --> 00:53:51,521
My business is
young, Luke.
1465
00:53:51,730 --> 00:53:53,356
There's kinks
to work out.
1466
00:53:53,607 --> 00:53:55,817
People don't want
to know how the
sausage gets made.
1467
00:53:56,026 --> 00:53:57,068
They just
want to eat.
1468
00:53:57,277 --> 00:53:59,529
There's no arguing
or even responding
to that, Kirk.
1469
00:53:59,738 --> 00:54:01,281
- Great. Thank you.
- (PETAL OINKING)
1470
00:54:01,489 --> 00:54:02,532
Damn it.
1471
00:54:03,074 --> 00:54:04,701
Petal, stop right now!
1472
00:54:04,951 --> 00:54:07,537
I know you hear me!
I know you hear me!
1473
00:54:07,746 --> 00:54:10,624
You get back here!
Curb right! Curb right!
1474
00:54:10,832 --> 00:54:12,876
- MAN: Go, Petal!
- KIRK: Don't encourage her!
1475
00:54:13,084 --> 00:54:13,960
(MAN CHEERS)
1476
00:54:14,169 --> 00:54:16,171
(BELL CHIMES AND DOOR CLOSES)
1477
00:54:16,379 --> 00:54:17,923
- What's all this?
- What?
1478
00:54:18,131 --> 00:54:19,591
Dictionary,
thesaurus,
1479
00:54:19,799 --> 00:54:22,344
Mathematical Principles
of Natural Philosophy...
1480
00:54:22,552 --> 00:54:24,387
Aw, you got
a letter from April.
1481
00:54:24,596 --> 00:54:27,265
I was two hours
into deciphering it,
and then I got your call.
1482
00:54:27,474 --> 00:54:28,391
"Hello, Pater--"
1483
00:54:28,600 --> 00:54:30,477
- "Father,"
British or Latin.
- Sure.
1484
00:54:30,685 --> 00:54:32,604
She used the word
"ontological"
three times.
1485
00:54:32,812 --> 00:54:34,731
She used it last time too,
and I looked it up
and then I forgot it.
1486
00:54:34,940 --> 00:54:36,650
And I was looking it up
again and then you called.
1487
00:54:36,858 --> 00:54:39,319
Well, that's what you
get when you spawn
an MIT-going genius.
1488
00:54:39,527 --> 00:54:41,947
Well, Rory's smart.
She speaks like she
doesn't need subtitles.
1489
00:54:42,239 --> 00:54:43,323
Yeah, but she grew up
with me.
1490
00:54:43,531 --> 00:54:46,076
She learned all
her language skills
via The Breakfast Club.
1491
00:54:46,785 --> 00:54:48,453
- Hey, how old is
this coffee?
- Old.
1492
00:54:48,703 --> 00:54:49,663
Oh, well.
1493
00:54:50,997 --> 00:54:52,415
- Hey, Luke--
- What are you doing?
1494
00:54:52,624 --> 00:54:54,918
- Eating sprinkles.
- Wait, but...
Never mind.
1495
00:54:55,126 --> 00:54:57,128
Uh, did I tell you?
1496
00:54:57,337 --> 00:54:59,214
Michel's husband
Frederick wants a baby.
1497
00:54:59,422 --> 00:55:00,882
Frederick,
the guy who came in
1498
00:55:01,091 --> 00:55:02,759
and ordered three pancakes
on three separate plates?
1499
00:55:02,968 --> 00:55:04,928
The town ought
to pitch in and
buy another pig.
1500
00:55:05,136 --> 00:55:07,097
- (LAUGHS)
- I can't watch
this anymore.
1501
00:55:08,098 --> 00:55:10,600
Hey, Luke,
did you ever
want a kid?
1502
00:55:11,268 --> 00:55:13,436
- I have a kid.
- No, I mean a fresh kid.
1503
00:55:13,853 --> 00:55:16,231
(SCOFFS) What the hell
is a fresh kid?
1504
00:55:16,439 --> 00:55:19,234
A kid that's fresh.
A kid with me.
1505
00:55:20,151 --> 00:55:22,904
We never had
a serious conversation
about it, I don't think.
1506
00:55:23,113 --> 00:55:24,948
That moment at
the Twickham house,
but since then...
1507
00:55:25,156 --> 00:55:28,952
Well, I figured if you
wanted another kid,
you would say something.
1508
00:55:29,160 --> 00:55:31,329
I figured
if you wanted another kid,
you'd say something.
1509
00:55:31,538 --> 00:55:32,831
- I brought it up once.
- When?
1510
00:55:33,039 --> 00:55:34,374
- Five, six years ago.
- I don't remember.
1511
00:55:34,582 --> 00:55:35,583
At the little league game.
1512
00:55:35,792 --> 00:55:37,002
There was that kid
playing right field,
1513
00:55:37,210 --> 00:55:38,128
and he walked off
in the middle of an inning
1514
00:55:38,378 --> 00:55:39,212
to use the bathroom.
1515
00:55:39,421 --> 00:55:41,006
I turned to you and I said,
"That's the kid."
1516
00:55:42,382 --> 00:55:44,175
- "That's the kid"?
- Yes.
1517
00:55:44,384 --> 00:55:46,469
"That's the kid"
is your way of saying
you want to have a kid?
1518
00:55:46,678 --> 00:55:47,470
In so many words.
1519
00:55:47,679 --> 00:55:50,056
No, "That's the kid" is
not you saying you want
to have a kid.
1520
00:55:50,265 --> 00:55:52,684
"That's the kid" is you
acknowledging that that's
the kid who's standing there
1521
00:55:52,892 --> 00:55:54,102
about whom you just said,
"That's the kid."
1522
00:55:54,311 --> 00:55:55,562
I thought you knew
what I was getting at.
1523
00:55:55,770 --> 00:55:57,647
Impossible, because
I don't speak "huh"?
1524
00:55:57,856 --> 00:56:00,859
Well... That's what
I thought and you didn't
pursue it, so...
1525
00:56:01,067 --> 00:56:02,319
- It was up to me
to pursue it?
- No.
1526
00:56:02,527 --> 00:56:04,154
Sorry, I...
1527
00:56:05,822 --> 00:56:07,615
Well, how do you
feel about it now?
1528
00:56:07,824 --> 00:56:09,492
- What?
- (SIGHS)
1529
00:56:09,701 --> 00:56:10,869
Do you still want a kid?
1530
00:56:11,077 --> 00:56:13,997
Oh, well, I mean...
I mean, isn't it,
uh, too late?
1531
00:56:14,205 --> 00:56:14,998
I don't know.
1532
00:56:15,206 --> 00:56:16,207
Look, forget it.
1533
00:56:16,416 --> 00:56:18,209
I have kids.
I have April,
1534
00:56:18,418 --> 00:56:21,504
and I've always
considered Rory to be
a little bit mine, so...
1535
00:56:21,713 --> 00:56:23,506
Yeah, but she was
so much fun to raise.
1536
00:56:24,466 --> 00:56:25,759
Don't you want to
have that kind of fun?
1537
00:56:25,967 --> 00:56:28,345
I have plenty of fun.
Look at all the chairs
I get to put on tables.
1538
00:56:28,553 --> 00:56:30,722
You don't wanna
toss a ball around
with your son?
1539
00:56:30,930 --> 00:56:31,681
There's Jess.
1540
00:56:31,848 --> 00:56:33,016
I said toss
a ball "with" not "at."
1541
00:56:33,224 --> 00:56:34,309
I'm fine.
1542
00:56:34,517 --> 00:56:36,269
You'll never get to see
your own kid's graduation.
1543
00:56:36,478 --> 00:56:37,979
I went to
Rory's graduation.
1544
00:56:38,980 --> 00:56:40,065
It's not the same.
1545
00:56:40,273 --> 00:56:41,524
I know it's not the same.
1546
00:56:43,026 --> 00:56:44,611
I just don't want you
to miss out on anything.
1547
00:56:44,819 --> 00:56:47,072
Yeah, well, nobody gets
to have everything they
want in life.
1548
00:56:47,364 --> 00:56:49,574
All in all, I think
I did pretty good.
1549
00:56:56,790 --> 00:56:58,416
WOMAN: (ON TV) Okay,
Sandy, see you then.
1550
00:56:58,625 --> 00:57:00,460
- MAN: Who's Sandy?
- WOMAN: Do you have
to know everything?
1551
00:57:00,668 --> 00:57:03,046
MAN: I'm your best friend
and business partner, so yes.
1552
00:57:03,254 --> 00:57:05,048
WOMAN: Sandy is our surrogate.
1553
00:57:05,256 --> 00:57:06,549
- MAN: You're doing it.
- WOMAN: We're
thinking about it.
1554
00:57:06,800 --> 00:57:07,634
MAN: (IN SING-SONG VOICE)
Exciting!
1555
00:57:07,842 --> 00:57:11,388
WOMAN: I just hope
it works. A baby would
really help everything.
1556
00:57:11,596 --> 00:57:13,973
- CHILD: We want cake!
- WOMAN: Coming. Take it.
1557
00:57:14,182 --> 00:57:15,600
MAN: Who's gonna help me
light the candles?
1558
00:57:15,809 --> 00:57:17,811
- CHILD: I will, I will!
- MAN: Fun, fun, fun!
1559
00:57:23,066 --> 00:57:24,150
(DOOR OPENS)
1560
00:57:26,486 --> 00:57:28,238
Here you go.
Freshly made.
1561
00:57:28,446 --> 00:57:31,157
Thanks.
It's been at least an hour
since my last infusion.
1562
00:57:31,366 --> 00:57:32,784
So, I have all
your paperwork.
1563
00:57:32,992 --> 00:57:34,536
I'll make sure
everything's in order.
1564
00:57:34,744 --> 00:57:35,954
You can flip through
this while you wait.
1565
00:57:36,162 --> 00:57:37,330
Thanks.
1566
00:57:42,544 --> 00:57:43,670
Really good coffee.
1567
00:57:43,878 --> 00:57:45,713
- Is it?
- Yep. Strong.
A little crunchy.
1568
00:57:45,922 --> 00:57:46,923
Good. Good.
1569
00:57:48,299 --> 00:57:51,136
Okay, I will
take a look.
1570
00:57:56,266 --> 00:57:58,476
- Hey, you're supposed
to be looking with me.
- Oh, sorry.
1571
00:57:58,726 --> 00:58:00,770
So, what are we
looking at here?
1572
00:58:00,979 --> 00:58:02,772
- Potential surrogates.
- Surrogates. Yes.
1573
00:58:02,981 --> 00:58:04,774
And these
surrogates will...
1574
00:58:04,983 --> 00:58:06,484
- Carry the baby.
- Our baby.
1575
00:58:06,693 --> 00:58:08,194
Yes. They'll carry
our baby.
1576
00:58:08,403 --> 00:58:09,070
I'm confused.
1577
00:58:09,279 --> 00:58:11,489
Am I supposed to
be having sex with
these women?
1578
00:58:11,698 --> 00:58:13,575
- What?
- Because I don't wanna
have sex with her.
1579
00:58:13,825 --> 00:58:15,910
No, you're not supposed
to be having sex with
these women.
1580
00:58:16,119 --> 00:58:18,121
- What? You'd have
sex with her?
- No.
1581
00:58:18,329 --> 00:58:19,581
- How about her?
- No.
1582
00:58:20,331 --> 00:58:21,624
Ooh, she's holding a bat.
1583
00:58:21,833 --> 00:58:23,293
You could play softball
and then do it in the dugout.
1584
00:58:23,543 --> 00:58:24,878
I don't want to
have sex with her.
1585
00:58:25,086 --> 00:58:26,463
I don't want
to have sex with
any of these women.
1586
00:58:26,671 --> 00:58:28,214
I don't want to have
sex with anyone ever.
1587
00:58:28,423 --> 00:58:29,591
Except me.
1588
00:58:29,799 --> 00:58:31,176
(SIGHS) Lorelai,
why are we here?
1589
00:58:31,384 --> 00:58:32,969
Look, I tried to broach
the subject of adoption.
1590
00:58:33,178 --> 00:58:34,804
I don't want to
go to Bangladesh
to get a baby.
1591
00:58:35,013 --> 00:58:36,556
I don't want to go
to Woodbury to get
a light bulb.
1592
00:58:36,764 --> 00:58:38,516
Well, if we don't adopt,
this might be our only option,
1593
00:58:38,725 --> 00:58:40,101
and I don't want
another picture window.
1594
00:58:40,310 --> 00:58:41,853
(SIGHING) What?
1595
00:58:42,061 --> 00:58:44,230
When we remodeled the house,
you wanted a picture window,
1596
00:58:44,439 --> 00:58:46,274
but it looked weird
with the other windows
1597
00:58:46,483 --> 00:58:48,234
and so you gave it up.
You settled.
1598
00:58:48,443 --> 00:58:50,737
I do not
remember wanting
a picture window.
1599
00:58:50,945 --> 00:58:53,323
Well, you did.
Now it's just another
thing on the list of
1600
00:58:53,531 --> 00:58:55,325
"things I don't get to have
because I'm with Lorelai."
1601
00:58:55,575 --> 00:58:57,869
- Like peace.
- And a picture window.
1602
00:58:58,077 --> 00:59:00,205
I do not want
a picture window.
1603
00:59:00,455 --> 00:59:03,875
PARIS: Moron!
When I say "a VIP,"
I mean a VIP.
1604
00:59:04,167 --> 00:59:05,126
WOMAN: I got them coffee.
1605
00:59:05,335 --> 00:59:07,879
PARIS: Well, if we were
a Starbucks, you'd be
employee of the month.
1606
00:59:08,087 --> 00:59:11,549
But since we're not,
you're just the first Smith
grad I've fired this week.
1607
00:59:11,758 --> 00:59:15,220
Lorelai! So great to see you!
I am so sorry for the wait.
1608
00:59:15,428 --> 00:59:16,596
Oh, Paris,
that's fine.
1609
00:59:16,804 --> 00:59:17,764
Don't stand there
shaking. Just go.
1610
00:59:17,972 --> 00:59:19,057
Apologize to your parents.
1611
00:59:19,265 --> 00:59:21,851
Tell them you'll pay them
back for the two semesters
you spent studing
1612
00:59:22,060 --> 00:59:24,395
Buffy the Vampire Slayer's
effect on the feminist agenda.
1613
00:59:24,604 --> 00:59:27,232
- Okay, so,
hello, Luke.
- Hi.
1614
00:59:27,524 --> 00:59:29,234
- You remember me.
- You're hard to forget.
1615
00:59:29,442 --> 00:59:31,444
Flattering. Let's go.
1616
00:59:32,445 --> 00:59:36,324
PARIS: Now, I rarely act
as a case personal liaison
anymore,
1617
00:59:36,533 --> 00:59:38,368
but when I heard it
was you coming in,
I said,
1618
00:59:38,576 --> 00:59:40,995
"That woman
was practically
my second mother.
1619
00:59:41,204 --> 00:59:42,956
"No one else is
handling this case."
1620
00:59:43,164 --> 00:59:45,124
Aw, that's very
sweet of you, Paris.
1621
00:59:45,291 --> 00:59:48,211
So, the spiel.
Dynasty Makers.
1622
00:59:48,419 --> 00:59:50,797
We are the largest
full-service fertility
1623
00:59:51,005 --> 00:59:52,840
and surrogacy clinic
in the Western Hemisphere.
1624
00:59:53,049 --> 00:59:56,302
No other company
offers more services,
medical and legal,
1625
00:59:56,511 --> 00:59:58,930
and no company has
a higher approval rating.
1626
00:59:59,222 --> 01:00:00,056
Did you check Yelp?
1627
01:00:00,306 --> 01:00:01,641
- No.
- Check Yelp.
1628
01:00:01,849 --> 01:00:03,601
- Oh.
- So, you know
how this works?
1629
01:00:03,810 --> 01:00:06,479
Uh, we look
through there and pick?
1630
01:00:06,688 --> 01:00:08,940
Give me that.
Bargain-basement breeders.
1631
01:00:09,232 --> 01:00:13,152
I'm not letting any
of those bottle-service
bimbos carry your baby.
1632
01:00:13,361 --> 01:00:16,322
No, for you I pull
out the prime meat.
1633
01:00:16,531 --> 01:00:18,157
(WINDOW SHADES WHIRRING)
1634
01:00:18,366 --> 01:00:20,076
Am I blacking out?
1635
01:00:20,285 --> 01:00:21,786
How's Rory?
She back from London?
1636
01:00:21,995 --> 01:00:23,413
She was, but she's there now.
1637
01:00:23,663 --> 01:00:25,456
- Hard to keep track
of our girl, huh?
- Yeah.
1638
01:00:25,707 --> 01:00:29,127
Okay. So,
it's pretty cut and dry here.
1639
01:00:29,335 --> 01:00:30,962
We plant an egg
in a viable body,
1640
01:00:31,170 --> 01:00:32,714
we fertilize it
and out comes a baby.
1641
01:00:32,922 --> 01:00:35,049
Bing bang boom.
Have you thought about eggs?
1642
01:00:35,258 --> 01:00:35,883
Uh...
1643
01:00:36,092 --> 01:00:38,261
Using eggs over
age 44 with IVF,
1644
01:00:38,469 --> 01:00:41,431
the chances of having a baby
is about 1% per try.
1645
01:00:41,639 --> 01:00:42,807
Wow, super fun fact.
1646
01:00:43,016 --> 01:00:44,434
She keep you in stitches,
this one?
1647
01:00:44,642 --> 01:00:46,769
Oh, yeah. Hey,
how much is this
gonna cost?
1648
01:00:47,020 --> 01:00:49,981
A lot. But, again, Lorelai's
the only mother I ever had
1649
01:00:50,189 --> 01:00:53,443
except for Nanny Soledad,
so there's mondo
discounts involved.
1650
01:00:53,651 --> 01:00:55,445
How much time
did you spend
with this girl?
1651
01:00:56,154 --> 01:00:56,946
- So, Luke.
- Yeah.
1652
01:00:57,155 --> 01:00:58,197
How are the boys?
1653
01:00:58,406 --> 01:00:59,866
What? What is she doing?
1654
01:01:00,074 --> 01:01:00,742
I don't know.
1655
01:01:00,950 --> 01:01:03,244
I'm pretty good at
visually sussing out
the situation down there.
1656
01:01:03,453 --> 01:01:05,038
Please stop sussing.
1657
01:01:05,246 --> 01:01:08,291
Just from a cursory glance,
you seem symmetrical
and well-balanced.
1658
01:01:08,499 --> 01:01:10,043
Make sure he
sticks with the boxers.
1659
01:01:10,668 --> 01:01:13,630
Okay, here's a sampling
of what we've got.
1660
01:01:13,838 --> 01:01:17,133
Blondes,
brunettes and redheads.
1661
01:01:17,383 --> 01:01:20,470
Tall, short, athletic, artsy.
1662
01:01:20,720 --> 01:01:24,223
We even got 'em
with a little extra
junk in the trunk,
1663
01:01:24,432 --> 01:01:26,309
if you secretly like
'em that way, Luke.
1664
01:01:26,517 --> 01:01:30,063
I'm sorry.
Am I or am I not having
sex with this woman?
1665
01:01:30,271 --> 01:01:31,522
That's a sick thought.
1666
01:01:31,731 --> 01:01:33,691
Of course you're not
having sex with her.
She's married.
1667
01:01:33,900 --> 01:01:35,026
But you made it
sound like--
1668
01:01:35,234 --> 01:01:36,444
We've got Jews, Christians,
1669
01:01:36,653 --> 01:01:39,447
Muslims, Hindus,
atheists, one Wiccan,
1670
01:01:39,656 --> 01:01:42,033
and for a premium,
you can get
the cream of the crop,
1671
01:01:42,283 --> 01:01:44,369
top of the line, army wives.
1672
01:01:44,577 --> 01:01:46,829
Sturdy, reliable,
great at packing.
1673
01:01:47,080 --> 01:01:50,917
Oh, wait, sorry.
I have to take her
off the available list.
1674
01:01:51,125 --> 01:01:54,462
She just conceived.
Very high-profile client.
1675
01:01:54,671 --> 01:01:56,756
Let's just call him...
Doogie Howser.
1676
01:01:56,964 --> 01:01:58,508
You mean
Neil Patrick Harris?
1677
01:01:58,716 --> 01:02:00,343
Wow. Little louder, please.
1678
01:02:00,551 --> 01:02:02,261
Okay, so now
his cover's blown,
1679
01:02:02,470 --> 01:02:04,097
but, yes,
it's Neil Patrick Harris.
1680
01:02:04,305 --> 01:02:05,348
What kind of a cover--
1681
01:02:05,556 --> 01:02:06,557
It's Neil Patrick Harris.
1682
01:02:06,808 --> 01:02:08,309
Did you hear?
It's Neil Patrick Harris.
1683
01:02:08,518 --> 01:02:09,394
I did hear, yes.
1684
01:02:09,602 --> 01:02:10,353
Neil Patrick Harris.
1685
01:02:10,561 --> 01:02:11,604
You look upset, Luke.
1686
01:02:11,813 --> 01:02:12,814
No. Not upset.
1687
01:02:13,022 --> 01:02:14,315
What makes you
think I'm upset?
1688
01:02:14,524 --> 01:02:16,442
Well, you're not that excited
about Neil Patrick Harris.
1689
01:02:16,651 --> 01:02:20,530
Well, I'm very excited
for Neil Patrick Harris
if this is what he wants.
1690
01:02:20,780 --> 01:02:21,739
Is it not what you want?
1691
01:02:21,948 --> 01:02:23,116
- I...
- I understand.
1692
01:02:23,324 --> 01:02:24,575
It's a big decision,
having kids.
1693
01:02:24,784 --> 01:02:27,787
There's rewards,
but also constant
panic and worry.
1694
01:02:27,995 --> 01:02:30,206
Are they healthy?
Does everything work?
Are they smart?
1695
01:02:30,415 --> 01:02:32,083
McDonald's fry
stations are filled
1696
01:02:32,333 --> 01:02:34,085
with college-educated
moderate achievers.
1697
01:02:34,377 --> 01:02:35,962
And then there's
the lottery of nature.
1698
01:02:36,170 --> 01:02:37,672
I mean, I said to Neil,
1699
01:02:37,880 --> 01:02:40,591
"Are you prepared to have
a really unattractive child
1700
01:02:40,842 --> 01:02:42,260
"that would not
look good on camera?
1701
01:02:42,510 --> 01:02:44,721
"Would you be
okay if your child
1702
01:02:44,929 --> 01:02:46,931
"was not
an actor but an agent?"
1703
01:02:47,140 --> 01:02:48,307
I need to leave.
1704
01:02:48,516 --> 01:02:49,475
Luke, wait.
1705
01:02:49,684 --> 01:02:50,810
(SIGHS)
1706
01:02:51,686 --> 01:02:54,355
Oh. (SIGHS)
Sorry, Paris, I--
1707
01:02:54,564 --> 01:02:58,151
Yes. Go. Talk it through.
I'll send you a DVD
of my top picks.
1708
01:02:58,359 --> 01:03:00,153
I'll also include
a copy of Gone Girl.
1709
01:03:00,361 --> 01:03:01,529
N.P.H. was great in that.
1710
01:03:01,738 --> 01:03:02,822
Thanks.
1711
01:03:05,825 --> 01:03:06,868
No.
1712
01:03:11,330 --> 01:03:13,207
WOMAN: ♪ La, la, la
1713
01:03:13,416 --> 01:03:14,542
♪ La, la, la, la,
la, la, la, la
1714
01:03:14,751 --> 01:03:16,335
(BELL TOLLING)
1715
01:03:20,465 --> 01:03:22,717
Thank you, Francis.
1716
01:03:24,844 --> 01:03:26,929
Oh, sod it, bring the bottle.
We're celebrating.
1717
01:03:27,180 --> 01:03:28,431
(RORY CHUCKLES)
1718
01:03:29,557 --> 01:03:31,768
I love coming here
because they hate that I do.
1719
01:03:31,976 --> 01:03:32,769
Really?
1720
01:03:32,977 --> 01:03:34,187
They wouldn't let
women in the doors
1721
01:03:34,395 --> 01:03:36,355
until the mid '80s.
And then it was only
supposed to be
1722
01:03:36,564 --> 01:03:40,067
well-behaved
wives with tiny feet,
not hellions like myself.
1723
01:03:40,276 --> 01:03:40,985
(CHUCKLES)
1724
01:03:41,194 --> 01:03:42,320
I helped kick
open those doors.
1725
01:03:42,570 --> 01:03:43,738
Oh, thank you, love.
1726
01:03:43,946 --> 01:03:45,198
My pleasure, Ms. Shropshire.
1727
01:03:46,449 --> 01:03:48,826
So, to us.
1728
01:03:49,076 --> 01:03:50,870
Hellions in arms.
1729
01:03:51,162 --> 01:03:52,205
(CHUCKLES)
1730
01:03:53,206 --> 01:03:57,168
Mmm. I must tell you,
I've had such amazing feedback
1731
01:03:57,376 --> 01:03:58,628
for the "Talk of
the Town" piece.
1732
01:03:58,878 --> 01:04:00,338
Far more than for anything
I've ever written.
1733
01:04:00,546 --> 01:04:01,881
Oh, I doubt that.
1734
01:04:02,089 --> 01:04:03,966
So, the book.
1735
01:04:04,217 --> 01:04:06,052
- Yes.
- I go back and forth,
1736
01:04:06,260 --> 01:04:07,512
back and forth, you know.
1737
01:04:07,804 --> 01:04:09,680
I never really wanted
to write about myself.
1738
01:04:09,889 --> 01:04:13,643
My fields are feminism,
environmentalism,
and who am I?
1739
01:04:13,851 --> 01:04:14,811
(BREATHES DEEPLY)
1740
01:04:15,019 --> 01:04:20,316
But if I found
someone really like-minded
who I could write it with,
1741
01:04:20,525 --> 01:04:24,570
somebody like yourself...
Well, that's intriguing.
1742
01:04:24,779 --> 01:04:26,823
You know, I've never done
anything like this before.
1743
01:04:27,031 --> 01:04:29,367
Oh, I don't care about that.
I only care that it's honest.
1744
01:04:29,575 --> 01:04:32,119
I want to be seen as
I am, warts and all.
1745
01:04:32,328 --> 01:04:33,371
I'm great with warts.
1746
01:04:33,579 --> 01:04:37,166
Even if I waver,
if I let my
vanity in the door,
1747
01:04:37,375 --> 01:04:39,210
you must remain steadfast.
1748
01:04:39,502 --> 01:04:42,004
Francis, what is that?
1749
01:04:42,213 --> 01:04:45,341
Uh, this is the fluke
carpaccio with lime
and chilies.
1750
01:04:45,550 --> 01:04:46,801
Is it?
1751
01:04:47,093 --> 01:04:49,512
And who's the genius
who ordered this
magnificent dish?
1752
01:04:49,720 --> 01:04:51,556
Uh, Dr. Reynolds
over there.
1753
01:04:52,056 --> 01:04:53,432
Hmm...
1754
01:04:53,724 --> 01:04:55,685
Would it be possible
for this particular plate
1755
01:04:55,935 --> 01:04:58,312
to go missing and
for you to rush back
1756
01:04:58,521 --> 01:05:00,565
and get another one
for the darling
doctor over there?
1757
01:05:00,773 --> 01:05:02,233
Uh, of course, Naomi.
1758
01:05:03,276 --> 01:05:04,193
(CHUCKLES)
1759
01:05:05,903 --> 01:05:08,531
Oh, it's delicious.
1760
01:05:08,739 --> 01:05:11,409
Everything
tastes so much better
when it's stolen.
1761
01:05:11,617 --> 01:05:13,452
Mmm, that is good.
1762
01:05:13,661 --> 01:05:15,913
Mmm, so, let's
talk time frame.
1763
01:05:16,205 --> 01:05:17,707
I think it'll be
about eight weeks
1764
01:05:17,915 --> 01:05:19,750
to work up a proposal
for the publishers
1765
01:05:19,959 --> 01:05:21,502
and supply a sample chapter.
1766
01:05:21,878 --> 01:05:24,255
How much access
can you give me?
Interviews are everything.
1767
01:05:24,547 --> 01:05:27,383
Oh, full access, darling.
Follow me everywhere
except the loo.
1768
01:05:27,633 --> 01:05:28,467
(CHUCKLES)
1769
01:05:28,676 --> 01:05:30,011
Actually,
the loo's fine, too.
1770
01:05:30,219 --> 01:05:31,637
Francis,
who's that burger for?
1771
01:05:31,846 --> 01:05:33,222
Um, Ms. Kipney.
1772
01:05:33,431 --> 01:05:36,684
Trust me, she won't
enjoy it. Half of it's
going to her dog.
1773
01:05:37,977 --> 01:05:40,771
So, um, the only
thing left to discuss
is financial stuff.
1774
01:05:41,022 --> 01:05:42,523
And the lawyers can
take care of that, right?
1775
01:05:42,732 --> 01:05:45,443
It's 50-50.
Split down the middle.
We're in this together. Yes?
1776
01:05:45,651 --> 01:05:46,986
Yes.
1777
01:05:47,194 --> 01:05:48,446
Right.
1778
01:05:48,654 --> 01:05:51,198
Now, keep your eyes
peeled for dessert.
1779
01:05:52,116 --> 01:05:53,117
(CHUCKLES)
1780
01:05:53,326 --> 01:05:57,079
I can't believe
it's only 2:00.
2:00 in the afternoon.
1781
01:05:57,330 --> 01:05:59,123
I feel like I've
been awake for days.
1782
01:05:59,373 --> 01:06:03,127
It's the jet lag.
And the bourbon.
I drank straight bourbon.
1783
01:06:03,336 --> 01:06:05,463
I'm now a mid-day
straight bourbon drinker.
(CHUCKLES)
1784
01:06:05,671 --> 01:06:07,423
I'm gonna have to learn
to keep up with Naomi
1785
01:06:07,673 --> 01:06:09,467
if I'm going to
write this book.
1786
01:06:09,675 --> 01:06:11,469
I mean, she drinks as
fast as she talks,
1787
01:06:11,677 --> 01:06:13,554
and she never even seems
to get tipsy at all.
1788
01:06:13,763 --> 01:06:15,806
If anything, she seemed to get
smarter and more coherent.
1789
01:06:16,057 --> 01:06:18,976
Or maybe she
just seems smarter
and more coherent.
1790
01:06:19,185 --> 01:06:20,353
This is great, right?
1791
01:06:20,561 --> 01:06:22,104
I mean, now I have
something concrete
1792
01:06:22,313 --> 01:06:23,940
to talk about at my
Conde Nast meeting,
1793
01:06:24,148 --> 01:06:26,233
and she already mentioned
publishing excerpts of it
1794
01:06:26,442 --> 01:06:28,986
in Vanity Fair,
which would be amazing.
1795
01:06:29,195 --> 01:06:32,406
It's not really what I do,
but it's good for now.
1796
01:06:33,074 --> 01:06:35,451
(SIGHS) And it's money.
Money is nice.
1797
01:06:35,660 --> 01:06:37,328
So, now I just have to hang
out with her more
1798
01:06:37,536 --> 01:06:39,205
so that I can get a handle
on the first few chapters
1799
01:06:39,538 --> 01:06:41,499
so we can bid it out
and see who wants it.
1800
01:06:41,707 --> 01:06:44,001
All that starts in a month,
when she gets back from India.
1801
01:06:44,251 --> 01:06:46,879
So, basically, I just
had a really good day.
How was your day?
1802
01:06:47,088 --> 01:06:49,131
Well, I had my dry
cleaning delivered.
1803
01:06:49,382 --> 01:06:50,633
- Oh, I think I win.
- I don't know.
1804
01:06:50,841 --> 01:06:52,259
I really like
these pants, so...
1805
01:06:53,803 --> 01:06:54,720
I'm glad it went well.
1806
01:06:54,929 --> 01:06:55,721
It did.
1807
01:06:56,389 --> 01:06:58,099
Tonight, I'll take
you out to celebrate.
1808
01:06:58,307 --> 01:06:59,141
I'd like that.
1809
01:06:59,350 --> 01:07:01,936
And, tomorrow, I'll tell you
all the things I've heard
about Naomi Shropshire.
1810
01:07:02,144 --> 01:07:03,854
I don't care if
she's difficult.
1811
01:07:04,063 --> 01:07:06,357
Oh, she's difficult
and a little weird.
1812
01:07:06,565 --> 01:07:08,651
Well, I like weird.
I was formed by weird.
1813
01:07:08,859 --> 01:07:10,820
If it comes together,
it could be great,
and you deserve that.
1814
01:07:11,070 --> 01:07:13,072
I do.
I do deserve that.
1815
01:07:13,280 --> 01:07:15,491
Did I tell you
she lost her shoes
at the club?
1816
01:07:15,700 --> 01:07:16,575
You did not.
1817
01:07:16,784 --> 01:07:18,411
I didn't even notice
until we were leaving.
1818
01:07:18,619 --> 01:07:19,829
She was walking as
if she had shoes on.
1819
01:07:20,037 --> 01:07:21,205
And then I mentioned it,
and she said,
1820
01:07:21,414 --> 01:07:22,707
"Oh, I just left
them somewhere."
1821
01:07:22,915 --> 01:07:24,792
How do you leave
them somewhere?
It's snowing outside.
1822
01:07:25,001 --> 01:07:25,793
See? Weird.
1823
01:07:26,043 --> 01:07:26,919
Weird makes good copy.
1824
01:07:27,128 --> 01:07:28,254
So does a great writer.
1825
01:07:28,462 --> 01:07:30,423
Wow, those pants did put
you in a good mood.
1826
01:07:32,717 --> 01:07:34,176
Do you really have
to go back to work?
1827
01:07:34,385 --> 01:07:36,470
I can't let the pants be
the main accomplishment
of my day.
1828
01:07:36,679 --> 01:07:38,764
Plus, I have some
competition now. You're
going to be an author.
1829
01:07:38,973 --> 01:07:40,266
(CHUCKLES) It's not
like I'm John McPhee
1830
01:07:40,474 --> 01:07:41,434
- or anything.
- Yet.
1831
01:07:41,642 --> 01:07:43,310
I'll send the car
for you at 8:00.
1832
01:07:43,894 --> 01:07:44,895
I'm gonna use
your desktop, okay?
1833
01:07:45,104 --> 01:07:45,813
All yours.
1834
01:07:46,022 --> 01:07:47,940
Hey, where are those
boxes that I had sent here?
1835
01:07:48,149 --> 01:07:49,400
I think the maid stuffed
them in the closet.
1836
01:07:49,608 --> 01:07:51,235
- I need to look for something.
- Your lucky outfit?
1837
01:07:51,444 --> 01:07:52,486
- Do not mock.
- (CHUCKLES)
1838
01:07:52,737 --> 01:07:54,071
I am not mocking.
It's a great outfit.
1839
01:07:54,321 --> 01:07:55,948
You were wearing it
when I saw you in Hamburg.
1840
01:07:57,783 --> 01:08:00,745
Hey, is there anything in here
that you don't want me to see?
1841
01:08:00,953 --> 01:08:02,413
Like body parts?
1842
01:08:02,621 --> 01:08:04,040
That would be
on the list, sure.
1843
01:08:04,248 --> 01:08:07,626
No, like, uh,
other girls' things.
1844
01:08:07,960 --> 01:08:09,420
- All clear.
- Okay.
1845
01:08:09,712 --> 01:08:12,381
Hey, I wouldn't do that.
1846
01:08:13,049 --> 01:08:15,051
You know, leave things
around for you just to...
1847
01:08:15,259 --> 01:08:17,553
- I wasn't accusing--
- I know. I'm just...
1848
01:08:17,803 --> 01:08:22,099
Look, we have an agreement.
What happens in
Vegas stays in Vegas.
1849
01:08:22,308 --> 01:08:23,642
(SIGHS) We do.
1850
01:08:24,477 --> 01:08:26,979
And when we leave Vegas,
we forget about Vegas
1851
01:08:27,188 --> 01:08:29,982
until we're back in Vegas
and then it's just us
in Vegas until we're not.
1852
01:08:30,191 --> 01:08:31,233
Throw me a rope, man.
1853
01:08:33,110 --> 01:08:34,028
I'll see you at 8:00.
1854
01:08:36,113 --> 01:08:37,114
(CELL PHONE VIBRATES)
1855
01:08:38,115 --> 01:08:39,200
Your phone.
1856
01:08:39,450 --> 01:08:40,493
What's it say?
1857
01:08:40,701 --> 01:08:42,411
"Paul dinner. Don't forget."
1858
01:08:42,620 --> 01:08:43,412
Oh, crap.
1859
01:08:43,704 --> 01:08:44,872
That's a lot of
exclamation points.
1860
01:08:45,081 --> 01:08:45,706
I forgot.
1861
01:08:45,873 --> 01:08:47,458
It was all
the excitement
about my pants, right?
1862
01:08:47,666 --> 01:08:48,501
- But--
- Go. Vegas.
1863
01:08:48,709 --> 01:08:49,668
Yes. Vegas.
1864
01:08:51,587 --> 01:08:54,048
(SIGHS) I've got to
break up with this guy.
1865
01:09:02,431 --> 01:09:03,891
Excuse me, your password?
1866
01:09:04,100 --> 01:09:05,476
Wafflehousebutterbob.
1867
01:09:05,684 --> 01:09:07,269
Cute.
Isn't it, though?
1868
01:09:07,478 --> 01:09:08,938
Okay, I'm here now.
1869
01:09:09,188 --> 01:09:11,315
Uh-huh. You two,
park it over there.
1870
01:09:12,066 --> 01:09:13,609
No, there is
no return policy.
1871
01:09:13,818 --> 01:09:15,402
What's she going
to return? It's a baby.
1872
01:09:16,362 --> 01:09:17,696
Fine. I'll call and see
if she wants it,
1873
01:09:18,030 --> 01:09:20,282
but last time it was Brad
who put the kibosh on it.
1874
01:09:20,491 --> 01:09:21,909
- Hello, Luke.
- Paris, hey.
1875
01:09:22,118 --> 01:09:23,953
Could you bring them
a salad, no croutons?
1876
01:09:24,161 --> 01:09:25,955
And don't let them con
you into Diet Cokes.
1877
01:09:26,205 --> 01:09:29,166
- Listen, I wanted to
apologize for the other day.
- Oh, no need.
1878
01:09:29,375 --> 01:09:30,835
I've been in this
racket for years,
1879
01:09:31,085 --> 01:09:33,254
and sometimes I'm a little too
"Let's get down to it."
1880
01:09:33,462 --> 01:09:35,548
- You know? Think I may
have scared you a bit.
- Not at all.
1881
01:09:35,756 --> 01:09:39,135
Look, you just
need to know I'm good.
1882
01:09:39,343 --> 01:09:41,345
I'm the Pablo Escobar
of the fertility world.
1883
01:09:41,554 --> 01:09:43,848
I move the best product,
and I would really
like to help.
1884
01:09:44,056 --> 01:09:45,641
- I appreciate that, but--
- I get it.
1885
01:09:45,891 --> 01:09:48,102
You're a small-town boy.
You get your milk
from a cow.
1886
01:09:48,310 --> 01:09:50,437
Actually, everybody
gets their milk from a cow.
1887
01:09:50,646 --> 01:09:53,023
So I thought I'd make it
a little more homey for you.
1888
01:09:53,232 --> 01:09:54,859
Girls, I'd like you
to meet Luke Danes.
1889
01:09:55,067 --> 01:09:56,861
Jill and Jane are
two of my top breeders.
1890
01:09:57,403 --> 01:09:59,405
- Excuse me?
- I thought you could
all sit and talk.
1891
01:09:59,738 --> 01:10:01,407
Get to know them.
Ask them questions.
1892
01:10:01,615 --> 01:10:02,867
Challenge Jill
to an arm wrestle.
1893
01:10:03,159 --> 01:10:04,827
I think you'll be
pleasantly surprised.
1894
01:10:07,705 --> 01:10:09,540
(TELEPHONE RINGS)
1895
01:10:10,583 --> 01:10:11,667
Dragonfly Inn.
1896
01:10:11,876 --> 01:10:13,210
Michel, put Lorelai
on the phone.
1897
01:10:13,419 --> 01:10:14,170
Who is calling?
1898
01:10:14,378 --> 01:10:15,045
Michel!
1899
01:10:15,254 --> 01:10:18,132
Oh, Luke.
How nice to hear
your siren call.
1900
01:10:18,340 --> 01:10:20,885
Michel, you find Lorelai
and tell her that there are
1901
01:10:21,093 --> 01:10:22,344
two arm-wrestling
breeders here
1902
01:10:22,553 --> 01:10:23,596
and I need her help!
1903
01:10:23,804 --> 01:10:24,763
What?
1904
01:10:24,972 --> 01:10:25,806
(BELL CHIMES)
1905
01:10:26,849 --> 01:10:27,933
Paris?
1906
01:10:28,225 --> 01:10:30,186
- Rory, hi!
- What are you doing here?
1907
01:10:30,394 --> 01:10:31,645
- Oh, I'm working.
- Here?
1908
01:10:31,854 --> 01:10:33,230
Wherever there's
an old or defective uterus.
1909
01:10:33,439 --> 01:10:34,940
I did not hang up, Michel!
1910
01:10:35,149 --> 01:10:35,774
You eating?
1911
01:10:35,941 --> 01:10:38,319
No, I'm actually
just grabbing coffee.
So jet-lagged.
1912
01:10:38,527 --> 01:10:40,696
Then I'm heading to your
place. Oh, can I crash
at your place?
1913
01:10:40,946 --> 01:10:42,031
Absolutely,
you have the key.
1914
01:10:42,239 --> 01:10:43,449
Find her!
1915
01:10:43,657 --> 01:10:45,659
I have to run
an errand first.
You wanna come with?
1916
01:10:45,868 --> 01:10:50,581
Sure. Ladies,
I'll be back in a few.
Close the deal.
1917
01:10:50,789 --> 01:10:53,417
Excuse me?
I don't think
the Wi-Fi is working.
1918
01:10:53,626 --> 01:10:55,920
Capital "B" on "butter."
Yeah, I'm still here, Michel.
1919
01:10:56,170 --> 01:10:56,837
Luke!
1920
01:10:57,046 --> 01:10:58,088
Not now, Taylor.
1921
01:10:58,297 --> 01:11:00,716
Well, then when?
I have called,
I've left messages,
1922
01:11:00,925 --> 01:11:03,177
I even slipped folded notes
under your door at night.
1923
01:11:03,385 --> 01:11:04,637
Which I promptly turned
over to the FBI.
1924
01:11:04,845 --> 01:11:08,432
I know for a fact
that you have had
septic tank issues.
1925
01:11:08,641 --> 01:11:11,268
Taylor, do you
see people in here
trying to eat?
1926
01:11:11,560 --> 01:11:13,646
I do. And you know
what happens after
they eat?
1927
01:11:13,854 --> 01:11:14,647
Oh, jeez...
1928
01:11:14,939 --> 01:11:15,940
It's still not working.
1929
01:11:16,190 --> 01:11:19,276
Luke, I love this town.
Do you love this town?
1930
01:11:19,485 --> 01:11:20,444
- No.
- (WOMAN) Excuse me.
1931
01:11:20,653 --> 01:11:22,446
Could the capital
"B" be on "bob,"
not "butter"?
1932
01:11:22,655 --> 01:11:25,783
I think this town
is destined for greatness.
1933
01:11:25,991 --> 01:11:27,618
All the pieces are there.
1934
01:11:27,868 --> 01:11:30,204
It's just a matter
of finding that
special something
1935
01:11:30,412 --> 01:11:31,497
to put it over the top.
1936
01:11:31,705 --> 01:11:32,581
Like a sewer system.
1937
01:11:32,748 --> 01:11:35,000
Yes, because
when you have
a sewer system,
1938
01:11:35,209 --> 01:11:37,962
then you're part of something
bigger than yourself.
1939
01:11:38,170 --> 01:11:41,298
- Like the universe,
only more hygienic.
- Taylor--
1940
01:11:41,590 --> 01:11:43,467
I'm sorry.
The password is
still not working.
1941
01:11:43,676 --> 01:11:47,263
Of course the password's
not working! It's fake!
1942
01:11:47,471 --> 01:11:49,473
He has been giving
out fake passwords
1943
01:11:49,723 --> 01:11:52,226
ever since he got Wi-Fi
in this damn place!
1944
01:11:52,434 --> 01:11:54,311
How stupid are
you people anyway?
1945
01:11:54,561 --> 01:11:56,313
He doesn't want
to give out his password
1946
01:11:56,605 --> 01:11:59,108
because he
doesn't want you here
checking your Facebook,
1947
01:11:59,316 --> 01:12:02,486
or answering your emails,
or youtubing Zoella,
1948
01:12:02,695 --> 01:12:04,488
or whatever the hell
it is you're doing.
1949
01:12:04,738 --> 01:12:09,618
This isn't your office.
It's a diner!
Go home!
1950
01:12:09,827 --> 01:12:12,037
Pay for Wi-Fi!
I do.
1951
01:12:12,246 --> 01:12:14,290
I... Can't... (SIGHS)
1952
01:12:15,165 --> 01:12:16,917
You know what?
Never mind. (SIGHS)
1953
01:12:17,126 --> 01:12:21,255
I was wrong. You don't
deserve perpetually
unclogged toilets.
1954
01:12:21,964 --> 01:12:23,382
(GROANS)
(DOOR OPENS AND BELL CHIMES)
1955
01:12:26,176 --> 01:12:27,761
(SIGHS)
1956
01:12:29,888 --> 01:12:30,848
Taylor!
1957
01:12:34,476 --> 01:12:35,561
TAYLOR: Really?
1958
01:12:37,396 --> 01:12:38,772
Now that I've gotten--
1959
01:12:41,900 --> 01:12:43,444
Hell of a week.
1960
01:12:43,652 --> 01:12:46,238
WOMAN: ♪ Oh, friends
1961
01:12:46,572 --> 01:12:49,992
♪ Waving from
a passenger train
1962
01:12:50,868 --> 01:12:53,245
♪ Oh, boy
1963
01:12:53,454 --> 01:12:57,499
♪ Familiar to me
in impossible ways
1964
01:12:57,708 --> 01:13:00,419
♪ A new day
1965
01:13:00,627 --> 01:13:05,591
♪ A picture in my hands
Of who I used to be ♪
1966
01:13:05,799 --> 01:13:07,009
- TROUBADOUR: Hey!
- Crap!
1967
01:13:07,217 --> 01:13:08,302
TROUBADOUR: Come back here!
1968
01:13:08,510 --> 01:13:10,012
WOMAN: Stop it!
What is wrong with you?
1969
01:13:10,220 --> 01:13:12,681
TROUBADOUR: I told you!
My town, my corner!
1970
01:13:12,890 --> 01:13:14,183
WOMAN: But I'm your sister!
1971
01:13:14,391 --> 01:13:16,518
- TROUBADOUR: No proof of that.
- Ask Mom!
1972
01:13:16,727 --> 01:13:18,687
TROUBADOUR: Mom lies!
You better run, little sister!
1973
01:13:18,896 --> 01:13:22,107
PARIS: Frankly, it was over
the minute he wanted to do
something creative.
1974
01:13:22,316 --> 01:13:24,735
Wow, you and Doyle split.
1975
01:13:25,027 --> 01:13:27,696
Well, he's a screenwriter
now, Rory. Have you been
to the movies lately?
1976
01:13:27,905 --> 01:13:29,031
I know.
1977
01:13:29,239 --> 01:13:30,366
Suddenly he's in jeans
1978
01:13:30,574 --> 01:13:32,326
and wearing faded
$200 rock T-shirts
1979
01:13:32,534 --> 01:13:34,203
with bands on
them he's never seen.
1980
01:13:34,453 --> 01:13:37,331
He's flying out
to "the coast,"
as if this is not a coast.
1981
01:13:37,539 --> 01:13:39,917
He drinks vodka
because it has less carbs.
1982
01:13:40,125 --> 01:13:41,627
And then he started
selling things and so
1983
01:13:41,835 --> 01:13:44,254
I realized,
"Oh, this is going to stick."
1984
01:13:44,463 --> 01:13:45,881
I am so sorry.
1985
01:13:46,090 --> 01:13:48,342
It's fine.
I'll kill him in court.
1986
01:13:48,884 --> 01:13:49,510
Sure.
1987
01:13:49,718 --> 01:13:52,137
I'll be using that
Def Leppard T-shirt
to clean my windows.
1988
01:13:52,346 --> 01:13:54,556
I've been
waiting a half hour!
It's freezing!
1989
01:13:54,807 --> 01:13:57,893
KIRK: You should have
thought of that before
you four-starred me last time.
1990
01:13:58,143 --> 01:14:00,396
Don't you maybe wanna
try to work it out nicely?
1991
01:14:00,604 --> 01:14:04,024
I mean, you guys have
kids and you were a really
good team at one point there.
1992
01:14:04,233 --> 01:14:06,819
That was before Brett Ratner
gave him the keys
to his pool house.
1993
01:14:07,027 --> 01:14:10,906
Okay, ladies.
You have arrived.
1994
01:14:11,156 --> 01:14:12,157
Thanks, Kirk.
1995
01:14:12,366 --> 01:14:14,451
You're welcome. Come again.
1996
01:14:14,701 --> 01:14:17,955
- And does Lane have
an extension cord?
- I'll see.
1997
01:14:18,914 --> 01:14:20,457
Look, I know you
guys were friends,
1998
01:14:20,666 --> 01:14:22,793
but if push came to shove,
and we had to make T-shirts...
1999
01:14:23,043 --> 01:14:25,170
- Team Paris all the way.
- Thanks.
2000
01:14:25,379 --> 01:14:27,840
Could you say he
felt you up at our Christmas
party for the deposition?
2001
01:14:28,048 --> 01:14:28,674
No.
2002
01:14:28,882 --> 01:14:31,468
But you're all I've got.
Our nanny looks
like Benicio Del Toro.
2003
01:14:31,760 --> 01:14:32,719
LANE: Oh, you're here.
2004
01:14:32,928 --> 01:14:35,097
Remember to call
my mom to rate me!
2005
01:14:35,305 --> 01:14:37,349
(REVERSE INDICATOR BEEPING)
2006
01:14:39,643 --> 01:14:40,769
Lane, you remember Paris.
2007
01:14:40,978 --> 01:14:42,354
- I do. Hi.
- Hi.
2008
01:14:42,563 --> 01:14:43,897
Um, do you still
need your boxes?
2009
01:14:44,106 --> 01:14:45,107
RORY: Yes, definitely.
2010
01:14:46,358 --> 01:14:48,110
WOMAN: Oh, Kirk, come on!
2011
01:14:49,111 --> 01:14:50,529
I had Zach pull
them out for you.
2012
01:14:50,821 --> 01:14:51,488
You're welcome.
2013
01:14:51,697 --> 01:14:52,573
RORY: Thanks, Zach.
2014
01:14:52,781 --> 01:14:53,907
Don't look at me.
I'm not me.
2015
01:14:54,116 --> 01:14:54,825
Uh, what are you
trying to find?
2016
01:14:55,117 --> 01:14:56,160
My lucky outfit.
2017
01:14:56,368 --> 01:14:57,453
What is it, like,
a cheerleader uniform?
2018
01:14:57,661 --> 01:14:58,871
Yes, exactly
like that.
2019
01:14:59,079 --> 01:15:00,330
- PARIS: Is this your house?
- Yep.
2020
01:15:00,539 --> 01:15:01,915
- Who gets it
when you split?
- What?
2021
01:15:02,124 --> 01:15:03,834
- BRIAN: Lane, is he him yet?
- ZACH: No!
2022
01:15:04,042 --> 01:15:05,502
Hey, Rory, are you
staying in the spare
room tonight?
2023
01:15:05,711 --> 01:15:06,545
No, it's all yours, Brian.
2024
01:15:06,753 --> 01:15:07,838
Did you get any more beer?
2025
01:15:08,088 --> 01:15:08,881
LANE: Yeah, there
should be some in there.
2026
01:15:09,089 --> 01:15:10,257
Uh, can I help?
2027
01:15:10,466 --> 01:15:11,758
Um, yeah. Maybe
look through this box.
2028
01:15:11,967 --> 01:15:13,594
I'm looking for
a red dress, full skirt.
2029
01:15:13,802 --> 01:15:16,930
Okay, red dress, full skirt.
Oh, this is nice. Wear this.
2030
01:15:17,139 --> 01:15:18,474
No, it has to be
my lucky outfit.
2031
01:15:18,682 --> 01:15:20,058
My Conde Nast
meeting is in two days
2032
01:15:20,267 --> 01:15:21,685
and I have to
find that outfit.
2033
01:15:21,894 --> 01:15:23,896
- GIL: Is he him yet?
- ZACH: No, he's not!
2034
01:15:24,104 --> 01:15:26,523
I didn't ask for
this promotion, okay?
Back off.
2035
01:15:26,815 --> 01:15:28,901
There's nothing wrong with
bringing home the bacon, man.
2036
01:15:29,109 --> 01:15:30,486
Well, it's not in here.
(SIGHS)
2037
01:15:30,694 --> 01:15:32,362
Okay. I'm me.
2038
01:15:32,863 --> 01:15:35,365
Steve! Kwan! Come in here!
2039
01:15:35,574 --> 01:15:37,493
Help your Aunt
Rory find her outfit.
2040
01:15:37,701 --> 01:15:39,077
- Who did your work?
- What?
2041
01:15:39,286 --> 01:15:40,996
Them. Friedman?
I...
2042
01:15:41,205 --> 01:15:42,372
Rasouli?
Mendelssohn?
2043
01:15:42,581 --> 01:15:43,582
I just had them.
2044
01:15:43,790 --> 01:15:44,708
Fine. Don't tell me.
2045
01:15:44,958 --> 01:15:46,376
(CELL PHONE VIBRATES)
2046
01:15:47,419 --> 01:15:48,170
Hey.
2047
01:15:48,378 --> 01:15:50,589
LORELAI: To
answer your 43,000
frantic voice mails,
2048
01:15:50,797 --> 01:15:52,424
no, you do not have anything
at the dry cleaners.
2049
01:15:52,633 --> 01:15:53,258
Rats.
2050
01:15:53,467 --> 01:15:55,385
Seriously,
it was Kopelson, right?
2051
01:15:55,594 --> 01:15:58,013
Well, it wasn't natural.
Your husband's junk
isn't symmetrical.
2052
01:15:58,263 --> 01:15:59,640
Wait, what?
2053
01:16:00,516 --> 01:16:02,851
It's not here.
Maybe it's at Grandma's.
2054
01:16:03,060 --> 01:16:04,645
- How was London?
- (SIGHS) Great.
2055
01:16:04,895 --> 01:16:05,771
Where'd you stay?
2056
01:16:05,979 --> 01:16:07,189
With Didi. Same as always.
2057
01:16:07,397 --> 01:16:08,941
I love that you have
a friend named Didi.
2058
01:16:09,149 --> 01:16:10,943
Makes you sound
so Fridays on ABC.
2059
01:16:11,151 --> 01:16:12,486
Hey, have you spoken
to Grandma lately?
2060
01:16:12,694 --> 01:16:14,571
(GRUNTS) Why?
2061
01:16:14,821 --> 01:16:16,823
It's been mighty quiet over
there regarding the blowup.
2062
01:16:17,032 --> 01:16:18,575
- I've been busy.
- You should call her.
2063
01:16:18,784 --> 01:16:19,952
De-ice this situation.
2064
01:16:20,160 --> 01:16:20,869
I will.
2065
01:16:21,078 --> 01:16:22,704
- When?
- When it feels right.
2066
01:16:22,913 --> 01:16:24,122
You are both being stubborn.
2067
01:16:24,331 --> 01:16:25,457
Well, she started it.
2068
01:16:25,666 --> 01:16:27,751
Yeah, but aren't we supposed
to cut her all sorts
of slack right now?
2069
01:16:27,960 --> 01:16:29,253
I mean, she lost her husband.
2070
01:16:29,628 --> 01:16:31,880
Did you ever imagine a time
where there'd be a Grandma
without a Grandpa?
2071
01:16:32,923 --> 01:16:33,715
No.
2072
01:16:33,966 --> 01:16:35,092
Check on her.
2073
01:16:35,300 --> 01:16:36,552
Fine. I'll check on her.
2074
01:16:36,760 --> 01:16:38,971
Good. And maybe
while you're there,
you can find my outfit.
2075
01:16:39,179 --> 01:16:41,598
Wow, the student
surpasses the master.
2076
01:16:41,807 --> 01:16:43,267
- (CELL PHONE VIBRATES)
- (SNIFFLES)
2077
01:16:43,559 --> 01:16:44,893
(SIGHS) Great.
2078
01:16:45,644 --> 01:16:46,395
What?
2079
01:16:46,645 --> 01:16:48,522
My Conde Nast
meeting got pushed again.
2080
01:16:48,730 --> 01:16:52,317
Aw, sorry, hon.
So you don't need
that outfit after all?
2081
01:16:52,526 --> 01:16:54,278
- You're going.
- (CELL PHONE VIBRATES)
2082
01:16:55,988 --> 01:16:57,364
- Oh, man.
- What now?
2083
01:16:57,573 --> 01:16:58,782
(SIGHS) Poor Paul.
2084
01:16:58,991 --> 01:17:00,242
Hey, you have got to--
2085
01:17:00,450 --> 01:17:01,660
I know, I know.
2086
01:17:03,161 --> 01:17:06,081
(TUNING INSTRUMENTS)
2087
01:17:06,331 --> 01:17:08,333
- ZACH: All right,
let's do this.
- LANE: Yes!
2088
01:17:08,625 --> 01:17:10,460
So, are they serious?
2089
01:17:10,669 --> 01:17:11,628
One, two!
2090
01:17:11,920 --> 01:17:13,672
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
2091
01:17:22,514 --> 01:17:27,644
♪ Pretty soon now
You know I'm gonna
make a comeback
2092
01:17:27,853 --> 01:17:30,314
♪ And like
the birds and the bees
In the trees
2093
01:17:30,522 --> 01:17:32,733
♪ It's a sure-fire smash
2094
01:17:33,984 --> 01:17:39,031
♪ I'll speak
To the masses
through the media
2095
01:17:39,239 --> 01:17:41,116
♪ But if you got
anything to say to me
2096
01:17:41,325 --> 01:17:43,452
♪ You better say it with cash
2097
01:17:44,703 --> 01:17:47,623
♪ 'Cause I've got the trash
And you got the cash
2098
01:17:47,831 --> 01:17:50,208
♪ Baby, we should
get along fine
2099
01:17:50,417 --> 01:17:53,128
♪ So give me all your money
You know I think I'm funny
2100
01:17:53,378 --> 01:17:56,298
♪ Can't you see me smiling?
Can't you see me laugh
I'm the man
2101
01:17:56,506 --> 01:17:58,342
♪ I'm the man,
I'm the man, I'm the man
2102
01:17:58,634 --> 01:17:59,509
♪ I'm the man
2103
01:17:59,676 --> 01:18:01,136
♪ That gave you
the hula hoop
♪ I'm the man
2104
01:18:01,345 --> 01:18:02,220
♪ I'm the man
2105
01:18:02,429 --> 01:18:04,264
♪ I'm the man,
I'm the man, I'm the man
2106
01:18:04,473 --> 01:18:06,683
♪ I'm the man that
gave you the yo-yo
2107
01:18:08,060 --> 01:18:09,019
♪ I'm the man
2108
01:18:09,227 --> 01:18:10,896
♪ I'm the man,
I'm the man, I'm the man
2109
01:18:11,104 --> 01:18:11,897
♪ I'm the man
2110
01:18:12,105 --> 01:18:13,732
♪ I'm the man,
I'm the man, I'm the man
2111
01:18:13,940 --> 01:18:15,317
♪ I'm the man, yeah
2112
01:18:15,525 --> 01:18:16,652
♪ I'm the man,
I'm the man, I'm the man ♪
2113
01:18:21,698 --> 01:18:23,742
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
2114
01:18:23,950 --> 01:18:24,868
Mom?
2115
01:18:25,118 --> 01:18:26,453
Hola, hello.
2116
01:18:29,456 --> 01:18:30,415
Uh...
2117
01:18:37,631 --> 01:18:38,757
Mom!
2118
01:18:43,637 --> 01:18:45,472
EMILY: All right,
take that box
and put it downstairs.
2119
01:18:45,681 --> 01:18:47,432
Then come back up here
and get these presents,
all right?
2120
01:18:47,641 --> 01:18:48,642
Mom, are you here?
2121
01:18:48,850 --> 01:18:50,811
Lorelai? I didn't
know you were coming over.
2122
01:18:51,019 --> 01:18:52,688
(GASPS) Holy shit!
2123
01:18:52,896 --> 01:18:55,774
Berta, these boxes
need to go outside.
2124
01:18:55,982 --> 01:18:56,775
What? What? What?
2125
01:18:57,067 --> 01:18:57,818
EMILY: They go outside.
2126
01:18:58,026 --> 01:19:00,237
Take the boxes.
Oh, good.
2127
01:19:00,445 --> 01:19:01,947
- Did you call?
- (STUTTERS) Did I?
2128
01:19:02,155 --> 01:19:03,824
Because today is
a very bad day.
2129
01:19:04,032 --> 01:19:05,992
Mom, what on earth
is going on? Who are
all these people?
2130
01:19:06,201 --> 01:19:08,036
Well, that's Berta.
2131
01:19:08,245 --> 01:19:09,037
I know Berta.
2132
01:19:09,246 --> 01:19:10,872
And that's Berta's husband.
2133
01:19:11,081 --> 01:19:13,041
No, that's Berta's husband,
that's his brother,
2134
01:19:13,250 --> 01:19:15,293
and I think those
are someone's parents.
2135
01:19:15,502 --> 01:19:16,586
And the kids?
2136
01:19:16,837 --> 01:19:19,047
Well, I thought they
were all hers, but now
I'm not so sure.
2137
01:19:19,256 --> 01:19:20,590
No, this goes.
2138
01:19:20,799 --> 01:19:23,927
(STUTTERING) Mom... What...
Can we get a minute?
2139
01:19:24,136 --> 01:19:28,056
Fine.
Uh, could you all
give us a minute alone?
2140
01:19:28,265 --> 01:19:29,891
Mom, "alone" looks
a lot like gas.
2141
01:19:30,142 --> 01:19:32,185
Well, I don't
know how else to
communicate with them.
2142
01:19:32,394 --> 01:19:35,147
Leonard Marlin's
daughter works at the UN,
and I had her come over.
2143
01:19:35,439 --> 01:19:37,190
She can't figure out
what language they're
speaking, either.
2144
01:19:37,399 --> 01:19:39,151
Mom, what is going on here?
2145
01:19:39,359 --> 01:19:40,402
You mean with the house?
2146
01:19:40,610 --> 01:19:41,403
Uh, sure, start
with the house.
2147
01:19:41,611 --> 01:19:43,488
I'm decluttering my life.
2148
01:19:43,780 --> 01:19:45,115
- You know Marie Kondo?
- No.
2149
01:19:45,407 --> 01:19:46,408
- You don't?
- No.
2150
01:19:46,616 --> 01:19:48,118
- She's Japanese.
- Okay.
2151
01:19:48,368 --> 01:19:49,745
- You still don't know her?
- She's Japanese?
2152
01:19:49,953 --> 01:19:50,954
- Yes.
- No.
2153
01:19:51,163 --> 01:19:54,541
Well, she wrote a best-selling
book on decluttering.
So, I'm decluttering.
2154
01:19:54,750 --> 01:19:56,293
I was starting to
feel claustrophobic here.
2155
01:19:56,501 --> 01:19:57,919
You know, I'd wake up in
the middle of the night
2156
01:19:58,170 --> 01:19:59,796
feeling like this house
was closing in on me.
2157
01:20:00,005 --> 01:20:01,173
Like I couldn't breathe,
you know?
2158
01:20:01,381 --> 01:20:02,549
Oh, yes, I know.
2159
01:20:02,758 --> 01:20:05,135
So one of the ladies
in my garden club
had bought this book,
2160
01:20:05,427 --> 01:20:07,554
The Life-Changing
Magic of Tidying Up.
2161
01:20:07,763 --> 01:20:10,640
She said it made
everything better.
Are you paying attention?
2162
01:20:10,849 --> 01:20:12,476
The Life-Changing
Magic of Tidying Up?
2163
01:20:12,684 --> 01:20:15,145
- You know it?
- Was it written by that
Japanese woman, Marie Kondo?
2164
01:20:15,437 --> 01:20:16,313
- Yes.
- No.
2165
01:20:16,521 --> 01:20:17,939
Well, people swear by her.
2166
01:20:18,148 --> 01:20:20,150
She tells you you have to
take everything you own out
2167
01:20:20,442 --> 01:20:22,319
and put it in
piles on the ground.
2168
01:20:22,527 --> 01:20:25,530
Then you pick up
each possession
and you hold it.
2169
01:20:25,739 --> 01:20:27,449
If it brings you joy,
you keep it,
2170
01:20:27,657 --> 01:20:29,409
and if it doesn't,
out it goes.
2171
01:20:31,036 --> 01:20:32,078
No joy.
2172
01:20:32,662 --> 01:20:34,247
Mom, he's taking
the dining room chairs.
2173
01:20:34,456 --> 01:20:35,707
- They don't bring me joy.
- (SIGHS)
2174
01:20:35,916 --> 01:20:38,502
This box needs to be taped.
2175
01:20:39,669 --> 01:20:41,671
Oh, by the way,
if I get a terminal disease,
2176
01:20:41,922 --> 01:20:44,841
I want to move to
Washington State to die.
They let you do that there.
2177
01:20:45,050 --> 01:20:46,301
Die? They let you die?
2178
01:20:46,510 --> 01:20:48,720
With dignity and in
your own time frame.
2179
01:20:48,929 --> 01:20:50,472
I'll die there
and then you need
2180
01:20:50,680 --> 01:20:52,140
to ship me back
here for burial,
2181
01:20:52,349 --> 01:20:54,810
which costs a fortune,
I found out.
2182
01:20:55,018 --> 01:20:59,231
So, in the safe
there's an envelope
labeled "body-shipping cash."
2183
01:20:59,439 --> 01:21:00,899
I could also go to Vermont,
2184
01:21:01,107 --> 01:21:03,735
but we vacationed there once
and it was terrible.
2185
01:21:03,944 --> 01:21:04,820
Squirrels.
2186
01:21:05,028 --> 01:21:07,239
So, Washington it is.
2187
01:21:08,615 --> 01:21:09,699
It's the middle of the day.
2188
01:21:09,908 --> 01:21:11,827
Taste it.
See if it brings you joy.
2189
01:21:13,620 --> 01:21:16,873
Oh, God. (SIGHS)
I haven't sat
down in six hours.
2190
01:21:17,165 --> 01:21:18,166
Cheers.
2191
01:21:22,879 --> 01:21:24,798
- (SIGHS)
- So, come on,
Mom, talk to me.
2192
01:21:25,674 --> 01:21:27,843
(SIGHS) Why are
you wearing jeans?
2193
01:21:28,051 --> 01:21:30,428
- What?
- Because it's terrifying.
2194
01:21:30,637 --> 01:21:32,514
I started this
process with my closet.
2195
01:21:32,722 --> 01:21:35,267
And nothing I owned
brought me joy,
so I ran out of clothes.
2196
01:21:35,559 --> 01:21:36,560
I don't even know
where I got these.
2197
01:21:36,768 --> 01:21:38,728
- They're mine.
- They are?
2198
01:21:38,937 --> 01:21:41,147
Did you not notice
the Billy Squier
patch on the butt?
2199
01:21:41,356 --> 01:21:42,816
Well, you can have them
back when I'm done.
2200
01:21:43,024 --> 01:21:44,442
I have not been
pining for them.
2201
01:21:44,651 --> 01:21:46,695
I have to get back to work.
Kitchen's next.
2202
01:21:46,945 --> 01:21:48,738
Mom, stop.
You're not gonna
have anything left.
2203
01:21:48,947 --> 01:21:51,575
That's okay.
What I do have
will bring me joy.
2204
01:21:51,783 --> 01:21:52,701
Mom...
2205
01:21:54,202 --> 01:21:56,329
Nothing is gonna
bring you joy right now.
2206
01:21:56,538 --> 01:21:59,374
Nothing.
Your husband just died.
2207
01:21:59,583 --> 01:22:00,625
When some time has passed
2208
01:22:00,834 --> 01:22:03,587
and you realize that you've
given away all of your
carefully chosen stuff,
2209
01:22:03,879 --> 01:22:05,672
you're going to track down
Marie Kondo and kill her.
2210
01:22:05,881 --> 01:22:07,966
And then you're gonna go
to jail wearing those jeans,
2211
01:22:08,174 --> 01:22:09,718
and the Winchester
Mystery Family
2212
01:22:09,926 --> 01:22:11,511
will be living here
in your ball gowns.
2213
01:22:13,221 --> 01:22:14,639
I don't know how to do this.
2214
01:22:14,848 --> 01:22:16,892
- Do what?
- Live my life.
2215
01:22:17,183 --> 01:22:19,603
- Oh, Mom...
- I don't know what
to do or where to go.
2216
01:22:19,811 --> 01:22:22,188
I've forgotten
which side of
the bed to sleep on.
2217
01:22:22,397 --> 01:22:24,357
I was married for 50 years.
2218
01:22:24,566 --> 01:22:25,942
Half of me is gone.
2219
01:22:27,193 --> 01:22:28,445
Ah, you don't understand.
2220
01:22:28,695 --> 01:22:29,571
I understand.
2221
01:22:29,779 --> 01:22:31,281
You can't understand.
You're not married.
2222
01:22:31,489 --> 01:22:32,741
Luke and I are as
good as married.
2223
01:22:32,949 --> 01:22:34,492
No, you're not,
you're roommates.
2224
01:22:34,701 --> 01:22:36,453
And someday you'll just go off
and find another roommate.
2225
01:22:36,661 --> 01:22:39,706
I had a real partner
for 50 years,
and now I'm alone.
2226
01:22:40,707 --> 01:22:42,584
(SIGHS DEEPLY)
2227
01:22:43,710 --> 01:22:45,545
Are you still going
to that grief group
you told me about?
2228
01:22:45,754 --> 01:22:46,630
Oh, God, no.
2229
01:22:47,130 --> 01:22:47,923
Why not?
2230
01:22:48,131 --> 01:22:49,966
All those women
with red noses
and Skechers.
2231
01:22:50,216 --> 01:22:51,718
All they do is sit
around and complain.
2232
01:22:51,968 --> 01:22:53,428
What an annoying
grief group.
2233
01:22:53,637 --> 01:22:56,556
And of course, when it's
my turn, there's no time
left to talk about me.
2234
01:22:56,765 --> 01:22:58,934
- Right.
- I have problems.
I can't help them.
2235
01:22:59,142 --> 01:23:02,354
Well, what about seeing
someone one-on-one?
2236
01:23:02,562 --> 01:23:04,606
- What do you mean?
- You know,
just you and them.
2237
01:23:04,814 --> 01:23:06,316
- Who?
- Just a person.
2238
01:23:06,524 --> 01:23:08,276
- What kind of person?
- Just a normal person
2239
01:23:08,485 --> 01:23:10,987
with an office and
a prescription pad.
2240
01:23:11,196 --> 01:23:13,073
- You mean a psychiatrist.
- That could work too.
2241
01:23:13,281 --> 01:23:14,449
You want me to go to therapy.
2242
01:23:14,658 --> 01:23:16,242
Just for a while till you
get back on your feet.
2243
01:23:16,451 --> 01:23:18,912
I knew it. You have
been trying to get me
into a therapist's office
2244
01:23:19,120 --> 01:23:20,872
ever since you saw
that Tony Soprano show.
2245
01:23:21,081 --> 01:23:22,832
Oh, I have not.
He did make it look
cool though, right?
2246
01:23:23,041 --> 01:23:23,708
No.
2247
01:23:23,917 --> 01:23:25,001
What's the big deal?
2248
01:23:25,210 --> 01:23:26,586
I'm not crazy.
2249
01:23:26,795 --> 01:23:29,506
No. You're in pain.
This is uncharted territory.
2250
01:23:29,714 --> 01:23:31,216
If it might help,
what's the harm?
2251
01:23:33,134 --> 01:23:34,135
I'll think about it.
2252
01:23:34,344 --> 01:23:35,845
Okay. But really consider it.
2253
01:23:36,721 --> 01:23:37,472
I will.
2254
01:23:37,681 --> 01:23:38,890
And if you do it, commit.
2255
01:23:39,099 --> 01:23:40,141
You know, really go for it.
2256
01:23:40,392 --> 01:23:41,977
- I will.
- Jump in with both feet.
2257
01:23:42,185 --> 01:23:44,813
Five, six days a week.
Really Woody Allen
the hell out of it.
2258
01:23:45,063 --> 01:23:47,232
- I got it.
- 'Cause he's
totally normal now.
2259
01:23:47,440 --> 01:23:48,858
I promise, Lorelai.
2260
01:23:49,067 --> 01:23:50,402
(DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES)
2261
01:23:50,694 --> 01:23:52,028
(MAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
2262
01:23:52,320 --> 01:23:54,197
I'd better try to get
my bedroom set back.
2263
01:23:54,864 --> 01:23:57,117
Okay, but first,
don't you think
you want to...
2264
01:23:57,951 --> 01:23:58,618
What?
2265
01:24:00,161 --> 01:24:01,830
Oh, God, yes.
2266
01:24:07,293 --> 01:24:08,128
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
2267
01:24:08,336 --> 01:24:10,171
(GUITAR MUSIC PLAYING)
2268
01:24:18,638 --> 01:24:20,181
TROUBADOUR:
♪ Hey, sweet Annie
2269
01:24:20,432 --> 01:24:22,350
♪ Don't take it so bad
2270
01:24:23,560 --> 01:24:27,522
♪ You know
the summer's coming soon
2271
01:24:28,231 --> 01:24:33,111
♪ Though
the interstate is choking
under salty, dirty sand
2272
01:24:33,319 --> 01:24:37,657
♪ And it seems the sun
Is hiding from the moon
2273
01:24:38,283 --> 01:24:43,246
♪ The snow is coming down
on our New England town
2274
01:24:43,455 --> 01:24:47,292
♪ And it's been
falling all day long... ♪
2275
01:24:48,376 --> 01:24:49,669
LORELAI: Oy! Danesy-boy!
2276
01:24:49,878 --> 01:24:53,214
So dressing up of the dog
extends to outside
of the house now, huh?
2277
01:24:53,465 --> 01:24:55,717
Oh, no, no. He wanted
to go public. It's a whole
new world out there.
2278
01:24:55,925 --> 01:24:56,760
Uh-huh.
2279
01:24:56,968 --> 01:24:58,928
I can only support
with love, not judgment.
2280
01:24:59,137 --> 01:25:00,638
- So that's me.
- Yeah. (CHUCKLES)
2281
01:25:00,847 --> 01:25:01,765
And that's...
2282
01:25:01,973 --> 01:25:03,141
It's his order pad
and pencil.
2283
01:25:03,349 --> 01:25:04,893
Sure, sure.
And the baseball cap?
2284
01:25:05,101 --> 01:25:06,561
Oh, his head's too big.
None of yours would fit.
2285
01:25:06,770 --> 01:25:07,937
Oh, okay.
Let's get a drink.
2286
01:25:08,146 --> 01:25:09,147
Okay.
2287
01:25:09,355 --> 01:25:10,398
TAYLOR: My man!
2288
01:25:12,150 --> 01:25:13,651
- Wow. Do I want to
know what that's--
- No.
2289
01:25:13,985 --> 01:25:14,944
- (CELL PHONE VIBRATING)
- No, you don't.
2290
01:25:15,153 --> 01:25:16,571
Okay. Oh.
2291
01:25:16,780 --> 01:25:17,947
What?
2292
01:25:18,156 --> 01:25:19,157
Uh, nothing.
2293
01:25:19,365 --> 01:25:20,241
What's up?
2294
01:25:20,492 --> 01:25:21,910
It's just Paris
2295
01:25:22,160 --> 01:25:23,953
sending me
pictures of potential,
you know...
2296
01:25:24,162 --> 01:25:25,955
She's tall.
You want to start
a basketball team?
2297
01:25:26,164 --> 01:25:28,083
Uh, didn't you say
we're not doing that?
2298
01:25:28,291 --> 01:25:30,502
Oh, I e-mailed her
that we're tabling it.
2299
01:25:30,794 --> 01:25:31,920
- Tabling it?
- Back-burnering it?
2300
01:25:32,170 --> 01:25:33,213
Just tell her no.
2301
01:25:33,421 --> 01:25:34,589
- That's what tabling means.
- No.
2302
01:25:34,798 --> 01:25:37,383
That means you're
gonna do it eventually.
Are we doing it eventually?
2303
01:25:37,592 --> 01:25:39,302
- No. You said no.
- And you said no.
2304
01:25:39,511 --> 01:25:41,012
We both said no.
2305
01:25:42,680 --> 01:25:43,431
So...
2306
01:25:47,227 --> 01:25:49,771
Don't need a surrogate.
2307
01:25:49,979 --> 01:25:52,065
Done. Let's get that drink.
2308
01:25:52,565 --> 01:25:53,566
(SOFTLY) Okay.
2309
01:25:54,442 --> 01:25:56,277
Two big gloggs.
2310
01:25:56,486 --> 01:25:58,696
Hey, Kirk.
You taking the day
off of Ooo-bering?
2311
01:25:59,030 --> 01:26:00,115
I don't know what
you're talking about.
2312
01:26:00,323 --> 01:26:01,533
You know, Ooo-ber.
2313
01:26:01,741 --> 01:26:03,284
- No.
- Kirk, Ooo--
2314
01:26:03,493 --> 01:26:04,619
Stop making that noise.
2315
01:26:04,828 --> 01:26:06,788
And if anyone
from the wonderful
Uber corporation
2316
01:26:06,996 --> 01:26:09,040
or their very handsome
attorneys contacts you,
2317
01:26:09,249 --> 01:26:10,917
please tell them
it was my brother
2318
01:26:11,126 --> 01:26:13,253
and not me,
who recklessly violated
2319
01:26:13,461 --> 01:26:15,171
trademark laws and
perpetrated fraud.
2320
01:26:15,839 --> 01:26:18,466
Dirk has always
been a disappointment
to the family.
2321
01:26:19,217 --> 01:26:19,926
Your gloggs.
2322
01:26:20,135 --> 01:26:21,052
- Kirk--
- Next!
2323
01:26:21,261 --> 01:26:23,847
- (SNORTS)
- Okay. Your car is done.
2324
01:26:24,139 --> 01:26:25,807
I do not guarantee
it will make it home,
2325
01:26:26,015 --> 01:26:27,600
or even out of
the gas station.
2326
01:26:27,809 --> 01:26:29,269
I bet it will.
2327
01:26:29,477 --> 01:26:31,563
Come get it now.
It's idling. I'm afraid
to turn it off.
2328
01:26:31,771 --> 01:26:33,314
Okay, we'll be
right there. Love you.
2329
01:26:33,523 --> 01:26:34,649
GYPSY: Buy a new car.
2330
01:26:34,858 --> 01:26:35,567
- (CELL PHONE VIBRATING)
- Where's Paul Anka?
2331
01:26:35,775 --> 01:26:37,026
Aw, he's off
chasing ice skaters.
2332
01:26:37,277 --> 01:26:39,362
Oh, boy. Hi, Mom.
2333
01:26:39,571 --> 01:26:41,656
- You answered.
You never answer.
- I did.
2334
01:26:41,906 --> 01:26:43,700
- Sure I do.
- Are you drunk?
2335
01:26:43,950 --> 01:26:45,160
Mom, what can I help you with?
2336
01:26:45,326 --> 01:26:47,579
I just wanted you to know
that I took your advice.
2337
01:26:47,787 --> 01:26:48,663
Are you drunk?
2338
01:26:48,913 --> 01:26:49,914
I found a therapist.
2339
01:26:50,123 --> 01:26:52,876
- You're kidding.
- Linda, in my garden club,
is bipolar,
2340
01:26:53,084 --> 01:26:55,044
so I asked her if she had
someone she could recommend.
2341
01:26:55,253 --> 01:26:56,254
Good thinking.
2342
01:26:56,462 --> 01:26:57,422
She's a lovely woman.
2343
01:26:57,630 --> 01:26:59,090
- Linda?
- No. The therapist.
2344
01:26:59,299 --> 01:27:01,551
Linda's a nightmare.
She cries if the tea is cold.
2345
01:27:01,759 --> 01:27:05,555
But the therapist
is wonderful.
Very tasteful office.
2346
01:27:05,847 --> 01:27:07,265
She burns a candle
that smells so delicious,
2347
01:27:07,557 --> 01:27:08,516
I bought one to have at home.
2348
01:27:08,725 --> 01:27:09,851
Sounds great.
2349
01:27:10,059 --> 01:27:11,728
- I could get one for you.
- Sure.
2350
01:27:11,936 --> 01:27:15,064
I go there once
a week and we just talk.
Talk about anything.
2351
01:27:15,273 --> 01:27:17,192
Or nothing if
there's nothing on my mind.
2352
01:27:17,400 --> 01:27:18,401
Sounds great, Mom.
2353
01:27:18,568 --> 01:27:20,445
She told me to get rid
of the Marie Kondo book.
2354
01:27:20,778 --> 01:27:22,780
I like her already.
Hey, I did something right.
2355
01:27:22,989 --> 01:27:23,948
Law of averages.
2356
01:27:24,157 --> 01:27:26,534
I went out and I bought
a little notebook,
so I can write down
2357
01:27:26,743 --> 01:27:27,744
things I want to
discuss with her.
2358
01:27:27,952 --> 01:27:29,120
That way I won't forget.
2359
01:27:29,329 --> 01:27:30,330
Very sensible.
2360
01:27:30,538 --> 01:27:32,665
And I told her it was your
idea that I come to see her.
2361
01:27:32,874 --> 01:27:33,875
You did?
2362
01:27:34,167 --> 01:27:36,586
I did.
Thank you, Lorelai.
2363
01:27:36,794 --> 01:27:39,881
Thank you for suggesting it.
I think it's exactly
what I needed.
2364
01:27:40,089 --> 01:27:43,301
Wow, I'm so glad, Mom. Really.
2365
01:27:43,509 --> 01:27:44,886
I'd love for you to
meet her sometime.
2366
01:27:45,094 --> 01:27:45,970
Sure.
2367
01:27:46,179 --> 01:27:48,181
Maybe next time I go,
you could come by and say hi.
2368
01:27:48,389 --> 01:27:51,017
Oh, Mom, I would love
to meet your therapist.
2369
01:27:51,226 --> 01:27:55,063
Really? Great.
I go on Tuesday at 3:00.
2370
01:27:55,313 --> 01:27:56,648
Tuesday's probably fine.
2371
01:27:56,856 --> 01:27:58,775
Wonderful!
Oh, you're going to love her.
2372
01:27:59,025 --> 01:28:00,068
I'll text you the address?
2373
01:28:00,276 --> 01:28:01,277
- Text away.
- (SIGHS)
2374
01:28:01,527 --> 01:28:03,988
- See you then.
- See you then, Mom. Bye.
2375
01:28:05,657 --> 01:28:06,783
What sort of
attack are you having?
2376
01:28:06,991 --> 01:28:08,534
What is wrong with you?
Are you crazy?
2377
01:28:08,743 --> 01:28:10,286
- Why?
- You're going to
therapy with your mother!
2378
01:28:10,536 --> 01:28:11,955
- No, I'm not.
- Yes, you are.
2379
01:28:12,163 --> 01:28:13,456
No, she just wants
me to meet her.
2380
01:28:13,665 --> 01:28:15,083
What do you think that means?
2381
01:28:15,291 --> 01:28:16,751
Luke, look. (SCOFFS)
2382
01:28:16,960 --> 01:28:19,921
My mother took my advice.
Do you understand
what I'm saying?
2383
01:28:20,129 --> 01:28:21,923
The advice that I gave her,
she took it.
2384
01:28:22,131 --> 01:28:24,425
That's never
happened before. Ever.
2385
01:28:24,634 --> 01:28:27,887
And she's feeling good about
it and she just wanted me
to come down and meet her...
2386
01:28:28,096 --> 01:28:29,973
Oh, crap!
I'm going to
therapy with my mother!
2387
01:28:30,181 --> 01:28:32,100
(INHALES SHARPLY AND GROANS)
2388
01:28:36,062 --> 01:28:39,857
- LORELAI: Oh, boy.
- LUKE: Come on.
2389
01:28:40,066 --> 01:28:44,445
WOMAN: ♪ Just when I've begun
to get myself together
2390
01:28:44,654 --> 01:28:46,781
♪ You waltz right in the door
2391
01:28:47,031 --> 01:28:49,200
♪ Just like you've done before
2392
01:28:49,409 --> 01:28:54,664
♪ And wrap my heart
'round your little finger
2393
01:28:54,872 --> 01:28:56,791
♪ Here you come again
2394
01:28:58,710 --> 01:29:03,298
♪ Just when I'm about
to make it work without you
2395
01:29:03,506 --> 01:29:05,633
♪ You look into my eyes
2396
01:29:05,925 --> 01:29:07,844
♪ And lie those pretty lies
2397
01:29:08,052 --> 01:29:12,724
♪ And pretty soon
I'm wonderin' how
I came to doubt you
2398
01:29:12,932 --> 01:29:17,020
♪ All you got to do
is smile that smile
2399
01:29:17,228 --> 01:29:21,357
♪ And there go all my defenses
2400
01:29:21,566 --> 01:29:26,195
♪ Just leave it up to you
and in a little while
2401
01:29:26,404 --> 01:29:31,534
♪ You're messin' up my mind
and fillin' up my senses
2402
01:29:31,743 --> 01:29:34,454
♪ Here you come again
2403
01:29:35,413 --> 01:29:39,834
♪ Lookin' better
than a body has a right to
2404
01:29:40,043 --> 01:29:44,422
♪ And shakin' me up
so that all I really know
2405
01:29:44,630 --> 01:29:46,716
♪ Is here you come again
2406
01:29:48,051 --> 01:29:50,011
♪ And here I go
2407
01:30:07,236 --> 01:30:11,699
♪ All you gotta do
is smile that smile
2408
01:30:11,908 --> 01:30:15,203
♪ And there go
all my defenses ♪