1
00:00:17,727 --> 00:00:19,354
♪ Summer is coming
2
00:00:19,562 --> 00:00:24,818
♪ And I hope I feel better
by the time it does ♪
3
00:00:28,697 --> 00:00:31,032
- I get that they want
to be cool.
- It's human nature.
4
00:00:31,241 --> 00:00:33,618
But to get to the pool,
they have to walk
in the hot sun.
5
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- It makes them hotter.
- It makes no sense.
6
00:00:35,829 --> 00:00:37,414
It's a giant
cascading debacle.
7
00:00:37,622 --> 00:00:39,416
- Belly alert.
- Holy moly.
8
00:00:39,624 --> 00:00:42,419
If the point of the activity
is to cool off in the water...
9
00:00:42,627 --> 00:00:43,670
I like where you're going.
10
00:00:43,878 --> 00:00:44,838
...then why not
just stay home?
11
00:00:45,046 --> 00:00:46,589
- And take a bath.
- Right?
12
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Eh, the logic's impeccable.
13
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- Oh, my God.
- Just go naked.
14
00:00:50,051 --> 00:00:50,969
(SIGHS)
15
00:00:51,177 --> 00:00:53,555
Plus, bath water doesn't
contain all those chemicals.
16
00:00:53,763 --> 00:00:55,015
The chlorine, the algaecides.
17
00:00:55,223 --> 00:00:57,684
And the bodily fluids
that shall remain nameless.
18
00:00:57,892 --> 00:00:59,686
- Kid pee.
- I said they'd
remain nameless.
19
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Gallons of kid pee
being pumped into
this pool as we speak.
20
00:01:02,814 --> 00:01:04,441
They shouldn't have
a drinking fountain.
21
00:01:04,649 --> 00:01:06,401
All that liquid
ends up somewhere.
22
00:01:06,609 --> 00:01:07,777
People don't think.
23
00:01:08,236 --> 00:01:09,320
- Uh-oh.
Oh, my God.
- What?
24
00:01:09,529 --> 00:01:10,572
It's Pat.
25
00:01:22,792 --> 00:01:23,418
All clear.
26
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(SIGHS) This place
is a minefield.
27
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- Hi, guys.
- BOTH: Ah!
28
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It's okay. It's Andrew,
and he's got a shirt on.
29
00:01:28,423 --> 00:01:30,133
- Oh, thank God.
- Welcome back, Rory.
30
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Oh, I'm not back.
I'm just here temporarily.
31
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- That's not what I heard.
- It's true.
32
00:01:34,179 --> 00:01:36,723
At the bookstore,
all anyone talks about
is how you're back.
33
00:01:36,931 --> 00:01:38,683
- Well, I'm not back.
- Okay.
34
00:01:40,143 --> 00:01:41,102
Spread the word.
35
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Hey, guys, did you hear?
Somebody vandalized
the floaty hut.
36
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Oh, no.
37
00:01:45,482 --> 00:01:46,524
Hinges are bent,
lock's jammed,
38
00:01:46,733 --> 00:01:49,694
and the kids are having a fit
'cause they can't get
their floaties.
39
00:01:50,070 --> 00:01:51,112
Welcome back, by the way.
40
00:01:51,321 --> 00:01:52,864
- Yeah, I'm not back.
- You look back.
41
00:01:53,073 --> 00:01:55,325
Luke donated the money for
that hut. He's gonna be upset.
42
00:01:55,533 --> 00:01:57,786
Forget Luke. Steve and Kwan
are going postal.
43
00:01:57,994 --> 00:01:58,912
There's two of 'em.
44
00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:01,456
When they get mad,
they're like
five little Korean people.
45
00:02:01,664 --> 00:02:03,708
They focus all their Korean
vitriol on Lane and me.
46
00:02:03,917 --> 00:02:05,585
- Where are they now?
- At the drinking fountain.
47
00:02:05,794 --> 00:02:06,878
They're going back
in the pool.
48
00:02:07,087 --> 00:02:08,171
- Yup.
- Figures.
49
00:02:08,379 --> 00:02:10,256
If you see something
inflatable, shout it out.
50
00:02:11,049 --> 00:02:11,925
She looks back to me.
51
00:02:12,133 --> 00:02:13,093
Well, she's not back.
52
00:02:13,718 --> 00:02:15,386
(SCOFFS) It is hot!
53
00:02:15,595 --> 00:02:17,138
(SIGHS) I don't know
why we come here.
54
00:02:17,347 --> 00:02:18,807
- MAN: Welcome back, Rory.
- I'm not back.
55
00:02:19,015 --> 00:02:20,809
- WOMAN 1: Welcome back, Rory.
- I'm not back.
56
00:02:21,017 --> 00:02:23,269
- WOMAN 2: Good to have Rory back.
- WOMAN 3: I know.
57
00:02:23,478 --> 00:02:25,522
APRIL: It made sense.
I was leaning towards a chem major.
58
00:02:25,730 --> 00:02:27,357
- I just love chem labs.
- RORY: Me, to o.
59
00:02:27,565 --> 00:02:29,651
- Beakers, clamps.
- Test-tubes, Bunsen burners.
60
00:02:29,859 --> 00:02:32,862
But I love philosophy, too.
Metaphysics? Can't get enough.
61
00:02:33,071 --> 00:02:35,740
I once got in trouble
for cheating on
a metaphysics exam.
62
00:02:35,949 --> 00:02:37,784
I looked into the soul
of the boy next to me.
63
00:02:37,992 --> 00:02:39,953
- You took metaphysics?
- No, that was Woody Allen.
64
00:02:40,161 --> 00:02:42,622
Woody Allen took metaphysics?
--It's from Annie Hall.
65
00:02:42,831 --> 00:02:43,998
I only watch German
silent films.
66
00:02:44,207 --> 00:02:45,834
Oh, boy, remember that phase.
67
00:02:46,042 --> 00:02:47,836
When did you punch
a hole in your nose?
68
00:02:48,044 --> 00:02:49,504
Read the Constitution.
69
00:02:49,712 --> 00:02:52,132
I'm 22. I get to adorn
my body as I see fit.
70
00:02:52,340 --> 00:02:54,509
You're right.
Punch all the holes you want.
71
00:02:54,717 --> 00:02:56,094
- Are you gonna join us?
- When I can.
72
00:02:56,302 --> 00:02:58,054
I took some great
linguistic courses.
73
00:02:58,263 --> 00:03:00,974
I mean, it's MIT.
Noam Chomsky walks the halls.
74
00:03:01,182 --> 00:03:03,268
I met him. Chatted with him,
laughed with him.
75
00:03:03,476 --> 00:03:04,352
He's my idol.
76
00:03:04,561 --> 00:03:07,605
Well, to Noam is to love him.
(CHUCKLES)
77
00:03:07,814 --> 00:03:10,483
Uh, is this thing on?
(CHUCKLES)
78
00:03:10,692 --> 00:03:12,318
- Ooh.
- Why're you getting up?
79
00:03:12,527 --> 00:03:13,611
I'm getting extra cheese.
80
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- I'll get it. I'm up.
- I'll get it.
81
00:03:17,532 --> 00:03:19,909
What are you doing this summer
before graduate school?
82
00:03:20,118 --> 00:03:21,870
I'm traveling with friends.
83
00:03:22,078 --> 00:03:24,205
We're canvassing a few states
for pot legalization.
84
00:03:24,414 --> 00:03:26,374
- For what?
- It's about civil liberties.
85
00:03:26,583 --> 00:03:27,834
It happens to be about pot.
86
00:03:28,042 --> 00:03:29,252
You made it sound
way less fun.
87
00:03:29,460 --> 00:03:31,171
- Do you smoke pot?
- No.
88
00:03:33,381 --> 00:03:34,299
(LORELAI INHALES)
89
00:03:37,177 --> 00:03:38,303
What are we watching?
90
00:03:38,511 --> 00:03:39,762
Uh, The Returned.
91
00:03:39,971 --> 00:03:41,222
The French Returned?
92
00:03:41,431 --> 00:03:42,974
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
93
00:03:45,226 --> 00:03:46,227
Blah!
94
00:03:46,436 --> 00:03:47,937
I don't know
how long I'll last.
95
00:03:48,146 --> 00:03:50,315
Oh, come on.
Take some NoDoz,
drink some coffee.
96
00:03:50,523 --> 00:03:52,483
We've got to break
this tragic pattern.
97
00:03:52,692 --> 00:03:54,110
- What pattern?
- Ugh.
98
00:03:54,319 --> 00:03:56,571
We get through one episode,
then half of another,
99
00:03:56,779 --> 00:03:57,989
then he falls asleep.
100
00:03:58,198 --> 00:03:59,365
I'm up at 5:00.
101
00:03:59,574 --> 00:04:01,492
He won't watch again
till a week later.
102
00:04:01,701 --> 00:04:04,537
By then he's forgotten
the first half of
the abandoned episode,
103
00:04:04,746 --> 00:04:06,289
and the entire
one before that.
104
00:04:06,497 --> 00:04:07,624
Then we have
to start all over again.
105
00:04:07,832 --> 00:04:09,542
That puts you
in binge-watching jail, Luke.
106
00:04:09,751 --> 00:04:11,669
I'll get a lawyer.
April, go to law school.
107
00:04:11,878 --> 00:04:13,213
Lawyers are fascists.
108
00:04:13,421 --> 00:04:15,340
Do you remember
the first episode we watched?
109
00:04:15,548 --> 00:04:17,300
LUKE: Yeah, it's a bunch
o f French people
in a small town.
110
00:04:18,343 --> 00:04:19,344
And some of them are dead.
111
00:04:19,552 --> 00:04:20,511
Really?
112
00:04:20,720 --> 00:04:21,638
Oh, my God.
113
00:04:30,438 --> 00:04:31,606
(APRIL SIGHS)
114
00:04:32,440 --> 00:04:35,652
Wow. Like a time machine.
Is it weird to be back?
115
00:04:35,860 --> 00:04:37,779
- I'm not back.
- You're not?
116
00:04:37,987 --> 00:04:40,990
Uh, no. I mean, I'm...
I'm here now, but...
Never mind.
117
00:04:43,368 --> 00:04:44,535
Oh, hi again.
118
00:04:44,744 --> 00:04:46,537
- So, I totally smoke pot.
- I figured.
119
00:04:46,746 --> 00:04:47,538
Don't tell my dad.
120
00:04:47,747 --> 00:04:50,416
I don't think he'd mind.
Just don't operate
a forklift after.
121
00:04:50,625 --> 00:04:53,086
Right. A forklift.
You have an excellent
sense of humor.
122
00:04:53,294 --> 00:04:55,672
- Thank you.
- I don't have a great
sense of humor.
123
00:04:55,880 --> 00:04:57,548
I'm working on it.
I bought a joke book.
124
00:04:57,757 --> 00:04:58,675
I think that's good.
125
00:04:58,883 --> 00:05:01,469
It's hard to have
a sense of humor
in college these days.
126
00:05:01,678 --> 00:05:03,346
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
127
00:05:04,722 --> 00:05:05,390
April?
128
00:05:05,598 --> 00:05:06,933
I never met Noam Chomsky.
I made it up.
129
00:05:07,141 --> 00:05:08,643
- Oh.
- I've only smoked pot once.
130
00:05:08,851 --> 00:05:09,852
I ate so much cheese after.
131
00:05:10,061 --> 00:05:10,812
That's okay.
132
00:05:11,020 --> 00:05:13,231
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
I'm still kind of searching.
133
00:05:13,439 --> 00:05:14,649
Nothing wrong with that.
134
00:05:14,857 --> 00:05:16,109
I think I'm having
an anxiety attack.
135
00:05:16,317 --> 00:05:17,318
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
136
00:05:17,527 --> 00:05:18,736
Can I get you something?
Water?
137
00:05:18,945 --> 00:05:19,862
It's just very weird here.
138
00:05:20,071 --> 00:05:21,281
What do you mean?
139
00:05:21,489 --> 00:05:23,074
Seeing you back
in your childhood room.
140
00:05:23,283 --> 00:05:24,575
I am not back.
141
00:05:24,784 --> 00:05:27,412
Oh, it's like a postcard
from the real world.
142
00:05:28,496 --> 00:05:29,914
Maybe we should join
Mom and Luke?
143
00:05:30,123 --> 00:05:31,374
My nose ring hurts.
144
00:05:31,582 --> 00:05:32,750
LORELAI: Hey, get in here!
145
00:05:32,959 --> 00:05:34,127
In a minute!
146
00:05:35,336 --> 00:05:37,630
Oh, my God.
"To Noam is to love him."
I just got that.
147
00:05:37,839 --> 00:05:38,923
(CELL PHONE VIBRATES)
148
00:05:40,591 --> 00:05:42,969
(CHUCKLES)
April's having a freak out.
149
00:05:43,177 --> 00:05:44,095
What? April!
150
00:05:44,304 --> 00:05:45,722
No, it's okay. Rory's got it.
151
00:05:45,930 --> 00:05:48,433
She looks so grown up,
but she is still a kid.
152
00:05:48,641 --> 00:05:50,393
She wants Rory to take
her nose ring out.
153
00:05:50,601 --> 00:05:52,103
I'll take it out. I hate it.
154
00:05:52,312 --> 00:05:54,355
She wants to go to Germany
this summer. Did I tell you?
155
00:05:54,564 --> 00:05:56,024
She does like German cinema.
156
00:05:56,232 --> 00:05:58,776
She's staying with some
exchange students she met.
157
00:05:58,985 --> 00:05:59,944
Hmm.
158
00:06:00,153 --> 00:06:01,154
(WOMAN SPEAKING FRENCH ON TV)
159
00:06:01,362 --> 00:06:03,448
So where would the money
for Germany come from?
160
00:06:03,656 --> 00:06:05,241
- Me.
- Really?
161
00:06:05,450 --> 00:06:07,076
- Where else?
- She could get a job.
162
00:06:07,285 --> 00:06:09,037
- I could swing it.
- You sure?
163
00:06:09,245 --> 00:06:10,079
Yeah.
164
00:06:11,331 --> 00:06:14,083
She only got
a partial scholarship.
You had to pay the difference.
165
00:06:14,292 --> 00:06:16,377
Now, if she's going
to grad school, I mean...
166
00:06:17,503 --> 00:06:18,963
maybe I could chip
in a little--
167
00:06:19,172 --> 00:06:20,131
I got it.
168
00:06:20,340 --> 00:06:21,466
(INHALES SHARPLY) Okay.
169
00:06:21,674 --> 00:06:23,968
April's mine. I got it.
170
00:06:24,177 --> 00:06:26,137
- (CELL PHONE VIBRATES)
- All right. You got it.
171
00:06:26,346 --> 00:06:27,513
(CLEARS THROAT)
172
00:06:28,598 --> 00:06:31,851
(CHUCKLES) Rory's showing her
the stress tap dancing videos.
173
00:06:32,060 --> 00:06:33,728
God bless that girl.
174
00:06:35,146 --> 00:06:37,273
(LINE RINGING)
175
00:06:40,735 --> 00:06:42,278
LOGAN: Ace, hi.
176
00:06:42,487 --> 00:06:43,446
I wake you up?
177
00:06:43,654 --> 00:06:45,073
(GROANS) I wish.
178
00:06:45,281 --> 00:06:47,367
I've been on a call
with the company rep in China.
179
00:06:47,575 --> 00:06:49,160
I couldn't get him
to talk slower.
180
00:06:49,369 --> 00:06:50,995
- The time zones
are killing me.
- Mmm-hmm.
181
00:06:51,204 --> 00:06:53,706
Why isn't it the same time
everywhere? Time zones suck.
182
00:06:53,915 --> 00:06:56,709
Yeah, they do.
They do suck. (CHUCKLES)
183
00:06:57,668 --> 00:07:00,880
- You okay?
- I'm fine... (SIGHS) I guess.
184
00:07:01,506 --> 00:07:03,549
I don't know.
I'm in a weird mood.
185
00:07:03,758 --> 00:07:04,967
- Anything I can
help with?
- No.
186
00:07:05,176 --> 00:07:06,719
(CHUCKLES) Yes. Uh--
187
00:07:06,928 --> 00:07:10,098
Hey, I know I'm coming out
in a couple weeks, but--
188
00:07:10,306 --> 00:07:11,724
Oh, come on,
don't cancel on me now.
189
00:07:11,933 --> 00:07:13,935
I've got Matilda tickets,
planned pony rides,
190
00:07:14,143 --> 00:07:15,603
there's a freak show in town.
191
00:07:15,812 --> 00:07:18,064
No, not canceling.
I just thought...
192
00:07:18,689 --> 00:07:21,359
Well, I'm not really doing
much of anything these days,
193
00:07:21,567 --> 00:07:24,278
and I'm bored, and I thought
maybe I'd come out sooner.
194
00:07:24,487 --> 00:07:25,905
- Like tomorrow.
- Oh.
195
00:07:26,114 --> 00:07:27,281
Is that okay? (CHUCKLES)
196
00:07:27,490 --> 00:07:29,700
Uh, sure.
Yes, let's do it this week.
197
00:07:29,909 --> 00:07:31,619
We'll make it special.
Your favorite place,
198
00:07:31,828 --> 00:07:33,329
The Dorchester or the Savoy.
199
00:07:33,538 --> 00:07:34,956
I'd have to stay in a hotel?
200
00:07:35,164 --> 00:07:36,457
Well...
201
00:07:37,750 --> 00:07:39,168
She's in town?
202
00:07:40,294 --> 00:07:41,045
Yes.
203
00:07:42,088 --> 00:07:43,089
For how long?
204
00:07:44,465 --> 00:07:46,300
(TAKES DEEP BREATH)
205
00:07:47,260 --> 00:07:48,386
She's moved in?
206
00:07:48,594 --> 00:07:49,887
(SIGHS)
207
00:07:50,555 --> 00:07:51,556
Yes.
208
00:07:52,390 --> 00:07:53,391
When?
209
00:07:53,599 --> 00:07:55,393
- Couple of weeks ago.
- Okay.
210
00:07:55,601 --> 00:07:56,894
Were you gonna tell me?
211
00:07:57,103 --> 00:07:58,354
Of course I was.
212
00:07:58,688 --> 00:08:02,733
So you want me to wait
in a hotel until you can slip
away and come see me?
213
00:08:02,942 --> 00:08:03,818
No.
214
00:08:04,026 --> 00:08:04,986
Like I'm a geisha?
215
00:08:05,194 --> 00:08:06,696
Come on, that's not fair.
216
00:08:07,155 --> 00:08:07,780
I know.
217
00:08:07,989 --> 00:08:10,116
I knew about Odette.
I just... (SIGHS)
218
00:08:10,324 --> 00:08:12,034
Like a hotel...
It's just weird.
219
00:08:12,243 --> 00:08:14,078
It doesn't have to be.
220
00:08:14,954 --> 00:08:17,039
Look, can't we just
keep the plans the same?
221
00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:21,252
Come out in three weeks,
and we will figure it
all out then.
222
00:08:23,004 --> 00:08:24,130
Please?
223
00:08:24,922 --> 00:08:25,965
Rory?
224
00:08:26,424 --> 00:08:28,509
Okay. Yeah, a few weeks.
225
00:08:28,718 --> 00:08:30,136
I'm looking forward to it.
226
00:08:30,344 --> 00:08:32,180
Yeah. Me, too.
227
00:08:38,895 --> 00:08:40,771
(GASPS) Oh, my God.
Feel that.
228
00:08:40,980 --> 00:08:42,482
- Feel what?
- It's not sweltering.
229
00:08:42,690 --> 00:08:44,484
They finally got
air-conditioning.
230
00:08:44,692 --> 00:08:46,277
We don't have to sweat
like pigs anymore.
231
00:08:46,486 --> 00:08:47,695
- (PETAL OINKS)
- Except Kirk's pig.
232
00:08:47,904 --> 00:08:49,655
Hey, kiddo. I forgot
to say welcome back.
233
00:08:49,864 --> 00:08:50,781
I'm not back.
234
00:08:50,990 --> 00:08:52,492
Welcome back.
Always knew you'd be back.
235
00:08:52,700 --> 00:08:54,368
You were wrong, Bootsy,
because I'm not back.
236
00:08:54,577 --> 00:08:56,412
- You look back to me.
- Welcome back, Rory.
237
00:08:56,621 --> 00:08:58,122
Compare notes, people. Please.
238
00:08:58,331 --> 00:08:59,665
Are you digging this air?
239
00:08:59,874 --> 00:09:01,667
First summer
my pits aren't sticking
like duct tape.
240
00:09:01,876 --> 00:09:03,085
It's fantastic.
241
00:09:03,294 --> 00:09:04,795
You know about
the Thirtysomething Gang?
242
00:09:05,004 --> 00:09:06,088
No, what's that?
243
00:09:06,297 --> 00:09:07,924
It's a group of kids,
all about your age.
244
00:09:08,132 --> 00:09:10,051
They went to college,
then out in the real world,
245
00:09:10,259 --> 00:09:11,886
and it spit 'em out
like a stale piece of gum.
246
00:09:12,094 --> 00:09:14,430
Now they're all back
in their old rooms, like you.
247
00:09:14,639 --> 00:09:15,515
I'm not back.
248
00:09:15,723 --> 00:09:17,016
They all hang out together.
249
00:09:17,225 --> 00:09:18,226
That's them there.
250
00:09:20,937 --> 00:09:24,649
So dig out your shoes
and ball, 'cause tomorrow
you're all goin' bowlin'.
251
00:09:24,857 --> 00:09:26,234
I don't have a ball or shoes.
252
00:09:26,442 --> 00:09:27,777
Did you know about
the Thirtysomething Gang?
253
00:09:28,444 --> 00:09:30,571
Yeah, everyone does.
Hey, guys!
254
00:09:32,114 --> 00:09:33,199
Don't encourage this.
255
00:09:33,407 --> 00:09:36,285
TAYLOR: All right, everyone,
settle in, please.
256
00:09:37,036 --> 00:09:39,997
Hope you're all enjoying
the nice, cool air in here.
257
00:09:40,206 --> 00:09:44,252
And I hope you'll enjoy
the big announcement
I'm making tonight.
258
00:09:44,460 --> 00:09:46,379
- Sounds exciting.
- Hit us with it, Taylor.
259
00:09:46,587 --> 00:09:47,547
TAYLOR: Ladies and gentlemen,
260
00:09:47,755 --> 00:09:49,882
- Stars Hollow is going to--
- (LOUD WHIRRING)
261
00:09:50,091 --> 00:09:51,259
LORELAI: What the hell is that?
262
00:09:51,467 --> 00:09:52,635
- What?
- The hell is that?
263
00:09:52,843 --> 00:09:54,011
I don't know
what you're saying!
264
00:09:54,220 --> 00:09:55,721
It's the air-conditioner!
265
00:09:55,930 --> 00:09:56,806
That, I heard.
266
00:09:57,014 --> 00:09:58,391
It feels like an earthquake!
267
00:09:58,599 --> 00:09:59,850
- Strawberry shortcake?
- What?
268
00:10:00,059 --> 00:10:01,394
You said something
about strawberry shortcake!
269
00:10:01,602 --> 00:10:03,062
Taylor, shut it off!
270
00:10:03,271 --> 00:10:04,772
Now I'm hungry
for strawberry shortcake!
271
00:10:04,981 --> 00:10:06,941
I can't!
It turns on and off by itself!
272
00:10:07,149 --> 00:10:09,318
This is gonna freak out
the Thirtysomething Gang!
273
00:10:09,527 --> 00:10:10,653
They're very sensitive!
274
00:10:10,861 --> 00:10:11,946
- (SIGHS)
- (WHIRRING STOPS)
275
00:10:13,698 --> 00:10:15,575
Might need
a little adjustment.
276
00:10:16,576 --> 00:10:19,787
Back to
my announcement, people.
But first, a little backstory.
277
00:10:19,996 --> 00:10:21,956
Our summer tourist
numbers are down.
278
00:10:22,164 --> 00:10:24,125
Even at the pool,
revenues are off,
279
00:10:24,333 --> 00:10:26,961
which I attribute to
the recent criminal activity
280
00:10:27,169 --> 00:10:28,504
involving the floaty hut.
281
00:10:28,713 --> 00:10:30,506
What happened
to my floaty hut?
282
00:10:30,715 --> 00:10:32,842
I thought you didn't want
people to know you donated it.
283
00:10:33,050 --> 00:10:34,802
I don't, but
it's my floaty hut.
284
00:10:35,011 --> 00:10:38,889
Our Lazy Hazy Crazy Days
of Summer event is coming up,
and that'll help,
285
00:10:39,098 --> 00:10:41,767
but we thought
a supersized event
286
00:10:41,976 --> 00:10:45,521
would generate
fresh enthusiasm
for tourists to visit.
287
00:10:45,730 --> 00:10:51,319
Therefore, I am pleased
to announce...
Stars Hollow: The Musical!
288
00:10:51,527 --> 00:10:53,487
- I love that!
- Sounds fun.
289
00:10:53,696 --> 00:10:57,199
This will be an enchanting
musical history
of Stars Hollow.
290
00:10:57,408 --> 00:10:59,744
Book and lyrics by,
uh, yours truly.
291
00:11:00,286 --> 00:11:03,247
Music by a very talented
young composer.
292
00:11:03,456 --> 00:11:04,624
He once lived in Brooklyn.
293
00:11:04,832 --> 00:11:06,417
- (CROWD MURMURING)
- Nat Compton.
294
00:11:06,626 --> 00:11:09,003
That's Nat sitting
at the end of the first row.
295
00:11:09,211 --> 00:11:10,463
He'll be directing, as well.
296
00:11:10,671 --> 00:11:13,966
- Let's give him a nice hand.
- (ALL APPLAUDING)
297
00:11:14,175 --> 00:11:16,260
Whoa, give him
a crystal sword,
he's a White Walker.
298
00:11:16,469 --> 00:11:19,013
Our biggest hurdle
will be finding
our leading lady.
299
00:11:19,221 --> 00:11:22,850
She's got to be
a great singer,
a terrific actress,
300
00:11:23,059 --> 00:11:25,561
a nimble dancer,
a dexterous whittler.
301
00:11:25,770 --> 00:11:27,146
- She has to whittle?
- Or fake it.
302
00:11:27,355 --> 00:11:28,689
How do you fake whittling?
303
00:11:28,898 --> 00:11:31,484
Yeah, they'd see
that there's no wood shavings.
304
00:11:31,692 --> 00:11:33,694
Come on, Taylor,
production values matter.
305
00:11:33,903 --> 00:11:37,531
Now, what I need from you
tonight are volunteers
306
00:11:37,740 --> 00:11:39,700
for the musical's
advisory committee.
307
00:11:39,909 --> 00:11:43,079
You'll come to a couple
of the shows,
and give us any ideas
308
00:11:43,287 --> 00:11:46,707
that will help make it
all that it can be. Who's in?
309
00:11:46,916 --> 00:11:47,958
- (LOUD WHIRRING)
- (PEOPLE GROANING)
310
00:11:48,167 --> 00:11:49,627
- It sounds fun.
- What does?
311
00:11:49,835 --> 00:11:51,921
The advisory committee.
I'm gonna volunteer for it.
312
00:11:52,129 --> 00:11:54,090
- You think you
got the time?
- 8:30.
313
00:11:54,298 --> 00:11:55,466
He asked you
if you have the time!
314
00:11:55,675 --> 00:11:56,676
I gave it to him!
315
00:11:56,884 --> 00:11:58,302
- For the committee!
- I'll make time.
316
00:11:58,511 --> 00:11:59,720
I'm gonna sign up, too!
317
00:11:59,929 --> 00:12:01,305
Babette, please, warn us!
318
00:12:01,514 --> 00:12:02,515
I think it sounds fun.
319
00:12:02,723 --> 00:12:03,474
It sounds really fun.
320
00:12:03,683 --> 00:12:06,727
I hope the show is
as successful as
Taylor needs it to be!
321
00:12:06,936 --> 00:12:08,437
Once again, warn us.
322
00:12:08,646 --> 00:12:10,147
It's really got
to pack 'em in!
323
00:12:10,356 --> 00:12:12,316
If Taylor really wanted
to pack 'em in,
324
00:12:12,525 --> 00:12:14,735
he should get up on that stage
and dance around...
325
00:12:14,944 --> 00:12:16,862
- (WHIRRING STOPS)
- ...in his floppy
Taylor underpants.
326
00:12:20,658 --> 00:12:22,827
Was so out of context.
327
00:12:23,035 --> 00:12:25,996
So, who's up for being
on the advisory committee?
328
00:12:26,205 --> 00:12:27,415
- Me.
- Me, too.
329
00:12:27,623 --> 00:12:28,499
I'll do it.
330
00:12:28,708 --> 00:12:30,501
So, uh, Lorelai,
Tom and Sophie.
331
00:12:30,710 --> 00:12:31,669
I'm there, Taylor.
332
00:12:31,877 --> 00:12:33,170
- I can make it work.
- Me, too.
333
00:12:33,379 --> 00:12:36,590
Well, I'm loving
the community spirit here.
334
00:12:36,799 --> 00:12:39,260
Um, schedules to be announced.
335
00:12:39,468 --> 00:12:42,179
Uh, now, our last issue,
people. (SIGHS)
336
00:12:42,388 --> 00:12:44,515
This unfortunately is...
less pleasant.
337
00:12:44,724 --> 00:12:46,684
So, we're back
to the floaty hut?
338
00:12:46,892 --> 00:12:48,811
Who gives a crap
about the floaty hut?
339
00:12:49,019 --> 00:12:50,438
I don't. I'm just curious.
340
00:12:50,646 --> 00:12:52,648
If you're so curious,
why don't you marry it?
341
00:12:52,857 --> 00:12:53,774
(CROWD CHUCKLING)
342
00:12:53,983 --> 00:12:59,113
After 89 years of continual
operation, the Stars Hollow
Gazette is shutting down.
343
00:12:59,321 --> 00:13:00,197
Are you kidding?
344
00:13:00,406 --> 00:13:01,407
I'm gonna miss the coupons.
345
00:13:01,615 --> 00:13:02,825
I'm gonna miss the poem
on the front.
346
00:13:03,033 --> 00:13:04,702
Yeah, the seasonal poem.
347
00:13:04,910 --> 00:13:06,495
Why is it shutting down,
Taylor? Money?
348
00:13:06,704 --> 00:13:08,998
No, it was still operating
in the black.
349
00:13:09,206 --> 00:13:11,083
But the paper's editor,
Bernie Roundbottom--
350
00:13:11,292 --> 00:13:12,334
(CHUCKLING)
351
00:13:13,294 --> 00:13:14,211
Come on.
352
00:13:14,420 --> 00:13:18,382
Bernie retired as editor,
and there's no one
to take his place.
353
00:13:18,591 --> 00:13:20,050
- Oh, well.
- It had a good run.
354
00:13:20,259 --> 00:13:21,719
Eighty-nine years, not bad.
355
00:13:21,927 --> 00:13:24,472
Am I the only one
who's in shock over this news?
356
00:13:24,680 --> 00:13:28,392
Well, I had discussed
the possibility of
the Gazette shutting down
357
00:13:28,601 --> 00:13:30,394
at an earlier meeting,
before you were back.
358
00:13:30,603 --> 00:13:31,395
I'm not back.
359
00:13:31,604 --> 00:13:35,107
I figured
the Thirtysomething Gang
would've filled you in by now.
360
00:13:35,316 --> 00:13:36,776
I don't hang out with them.
361
00:13:36,984 --> 00:13:39,653
So, unless
there's other business
anybody wants to bring up...
362
00:13:39,862 --> 00:13:41,614
What about the floaty hut?
363
00:13:41,822 --> 00:13:43,282
Really, get a room.
364
00:13:43,491 --> 00:13:46,035
What about it? It is broken
and down for the season.
365
00:13:46,243 --> 00:13:47,703
Did they find
the bums who broke it?
366
00:13:47,912 --> 00:13:50,539
I wonder what Luke
and the floaty hut's kids
will look like.
367
00:13:50,748 --> 00:13:51,916
- (ALL CHUCKLING)
- Will you shut up?
368
00:13:52,124 --> 00:13:54,835
Excuse me...
Um, excuse me, everybody...
369
00:13:56,712 --> 00:13:59,006
Uh, most everybody...
370
00:14:00,049 --> 00:14:02,802
I gotta say, just
shutting down the Stars Hollow
Gazette like this,
371
00:14:03,010 --> 00:14:05,137
with all its tradition
and history,
372
00:14:05,346 --> 00:14:07,765
without even putting up
the tiniest fight,
it just seems...
373
00:14:07,973 --> 00:14:10,017
- (LOUD WHIRRING)
- (ALL GRUMBLING)
374
00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:19,819
- (WHIRRING STOPS)
- ...wrong.
375
00:14:20,027 --> 00:14:21,403
(PETAL OINKING)
376
00:14:21,612 --> 00:14:23,989
They're still closing.
Have a good night, people!
377
00:14:24,198 --> 00:14:26,075
Wait. What about
my floaty hut?
378
00:14:26,283 --> 00:14:27,284
It's waiting in bed for you.
379
00:14:27,493 --> 00:14:28,619
Shut up, Bootsy.
380
00:14:28,828 --> 00:14:29,787
I think your anonymous
cover's blown.
381
00:14:29,995 --> 00:14:30,913
Then screw it.
382
00:14:31,121 --> 00:14:33,707
If no one else gives a damn
about it, then I don't either.
383
00:14:33,916 --> 00:14:34,917
That's the spirit.
384
00:14:46,887 --> 00:14:49,640
(IN SOUTHERN ACCENT) My word,
but it's sweltering today.
385
00:14:49,849 --> 00:14:52,685
(IN SOUTHERN ACCENT) Sultry.
That's what it is. Sultry.
386
00:14:52,893 --> 00:14:54,270
Brandon, I'm out.
387
00:14:54,478 --> 00:14:56,021
(BOTTLES CLINKING)
388
00:14:57,022 --> 00:14:57,982
Thank you, Brandon.
389
00:14:58,190 --> 00:15:00,317
I'm just mad about the boy.
390
00:15:00,526 --> 00:15:03,696
Ah, yes, lots of
returning favorites today.
391
00:15:03,904 --> 00:15:05,030
There's old Butter Butt.
392
00:15:05,239 --> 00:15:06,949
And our good friend,
Back Fat Pat.
393
00:15:07,157 --> 00:15:09,034
Tell me, is he of
the Maryland Back Fats?
394
00:15:09,243 --> 00:15:10,452
I believe he is.
395
00:15:10,661 --> 00:15:12,538
They did a real job
on that floaty hut.
396
00:15:12,746 --> 00:15:13,998
- (IN NORMAL VOICE)
Is it fixable?
- I'm trying.
397
00:15:14,206 --> 00:15:15,416
Excuse me, Mr. Hasselhoff?
398
00:15:15,624 --> 00:15:17,543
I do not wanna talk
about the T-shirt.
399
00:15:17,751 --> 00:15:18,878
Then we will not.
400
00:15:19,086 --> 00:15:21,171
A little to the right,
Dewey, please.
401
00:15:21,380 --> 00:15:24,675
As the sun moves, Dewey,
it would help if you moved
the parasol with it.
402
00:15:24,884 --> 00:15:25,718
Yes, m'lady.
403
00:15:25,926 --> 00:15:27,136
I taught him to call me that.
404
00:15:27,344 --> 00:15:28,804
- You're shameless.
- (WATER SPLASHES)
405
00:15:29,013 --> 00:15:30,389
Hey! Yo, yo, yo!
406
00:15:30,598 --> 00:15:33,517
No diving off the edge
like that! There's rules!
407
00:15:34,184 --> 00:15:36,186
All right, that's it.
Everybody out of the pool.
408
00:15:36,395 --> 00:15:39,523
Right now. Come on.
Out! Let's go.
409
00:15:40,274 --> 00:15:42,735
You give a man
a lifeguard T-shirt,
it goes straight to his head.
410
00:15:42,943 --> 00:15:45,821
(YAWNS) I'm sleepy.
I think I'll nap, Brandon.
411
00:15:46,030 --> 00:15:47,907
- Yes, Khaleesi.
- Ooh, that's good, too.
412
00:15:48,115 --> 00:15:49,408
Night, night.
413
00:15:49,617 --> 00:15:51,118
- Hey, you're back!
- I'm not back.
414
00:15:51,327 --> 00:15:53,203
- I'm talking to Michel.
- Oh. Hi, Michel.
415
00:15:53,412 --> 00:15:56,832
Hello, Rory.
Yes, I got back yesterday.
416
00:15:57,041 --> 00:15:58,792
- How are things
at the inn? Good?
- Well--
417
00:15:59,001 --> 00:16:01,378
Great. Frederick makes me
come here and be around kids
418
00:16:01,587 --> 00:16:04,590
so I acclimate to them
for when we make our own.
419
00:16:04,798 --> 00:16:05,841
Is that right, "make them"?
420
00:16:06,050 --> 00:16:07,635
- Or have them.
- Whatever.
421
00:16:07,843 --> 00:16:10,930
Fatherhood is just going to be
a lot of pretending for me.
422
00:16:11,680 --> 00:16:12,890
Okay, bye-bye.
423
00:16:13,849 --> 00:16:15,184
(SCOFFS) Wow.
424
00:16:15,392 --> 00:16:17,227
He didn't even call
to tell me he was back.
425
00:16:17,436 --> 00:16:18,354
He's French.
426
00:16:18,562 --> 00:16:19,772
It's way more than that.
427
00:16:20,189 --> 00:16:23,692
You know, the Stars Hollow
Gazette is the first newspaper
I ever read.
428
00:16:23,901 --> 00:16:25,319
- Hmm.
- The Gazette.
429
00:16:25,527 --> 00:16:27,112
My love of words
came from that paper.
430
00:16:27,696 --> 00:16:28,405
- Oh, my God.
- What?
431
00:16:28,614 --> 00:16:30,616
- Incoming.
- Hey, there.
432
00:16:30,824 --> 00:16:32,660
- Hey, Pat.
- Oh, hi. Hi, Pat.
433
00:16:32,868 --> 00:16:33,869
Welcome back, Rory.
434
00:16:34,078 --> 00:16:36,330
Oh, I'm not back, fat...
(STAMMERS) I mean, back, Pat.
435
00:16:36,580 --> 00:16:39,291
So you're pool people, huh?
Never would have taken you
for it.
436
00:16:39,500 --> 00:16:41,460
- Oh, you--
- Uh... no.
437
00:16:41,669 --> 00:16:43,587
- Just... sometimes.
- Was kinda.
438
00:16:43,796 --> 00:16:44,964
- Well, got to get going.
- Okay.
439
00:16:45,172 --> 00:16:47,424
- Okay, see ya, Pat.
- See ya. (SNAPS FINGERS)
440
00:16:48,801 --> 00:16:50,886
- (BOTH SIGH)
- It's just so stressful
being here.
441
00:16:51,845 --> 00:16:53,514
Dewey? Adjust.
442
00:16:55,641 --> 00:16:57,685
♪ Blowing bubbles
out of the window
443
00:16:57,893 --> 00:16:59,770
♪ Chewing bubblegum
and blowing big bubbles
444
00:16:59,979 --> 00:17:02,022
♪ Getting, getting rid
Rid of all my troubles
445
00:17:02,231 --> 00:17:05,526
♪ Watching the tadpoles
Glubba, glubba
in the puddles ♪
446
00:17:07,319 --> 00:17:08,946
DEWEY: That looks like fun.
447
00:17:14,576 --> 00:17:16,662
Okay, so we got
all your info here.
448
00:17:16,870 --> 00:17:19,289
Hang on to your sheet music
and knock 'em dead.
449
00:17:20,541 --> 00:17:21,458
Hello.
450
00:17:22,209 --> 00:17:23,919
- Hello.
- Hi, there.
451
00:17:24,128 --> 00:17:25,045
Hi, Babette. Hi, Patty.
452
00:17:25,254 --> 00:17:26,672
Shh, we're working here!
453
00:17:27,256 --> 00:17:30,467
So you got
your sheet music there,
Mr. Tall, Dark and Yowza?
454
00:17:30,676 --> 00:17:32,553
- Yup, all set.
- BABETTE: Name's Kevin, huh?
455
00:17:32,761 --> 00:17:36,140
Nice, but I think
I'll call you... tomorrow.
456
00:17:36,348 --> 00:17:37,474
Babette, no.
457
00:17:37,891 --> 00:17:39,727
There's the line.
Good luck, Kevin.
458
00:17:39,935 --> 00:17:41,311
Wow, thanks a lot.
459
00:17:41,520 --> 00:17:43,397
Yeah, that was
a total clam jam.
460
00:17:43,605 --> 00:17:44,982
- (CHUCKLES)
- Don't encourage her.
461
00:17:45,190 --> 00:17:46,859
Go. Go. Scram.
462
00:17:48,610 --> 00:17:50,571
Lorelai! Lorelai!
463
00:17:50,779 --> 00:17:52,239
- Oh, my God.
- Do we know her?
464
00:17:52,448 --> 00:17:53,574
Uh, Claudia.
465
00:17:53,782 --> 00:17:55,868
- Oh, my God. Hi!
- Hi.
466
00:17:56,076 --> 00:17:57,036
Are you auditioning, too?
467
00:17:57,244 --> 00:17:59,997
Oh, no, I was just passing by
with my daughter.
468
00:18:00,205 --> 00:18:01,290
Is this Rory?
469
00:18:01,498 --> 00:18:03,459
It is. Yes, this is Rory.
470
00:18:03,667 --> 00:18:05,127
Rory, this is Claudia.
471
00:18:05,335 --> 00:18:06,837
- Hello.
- My therapist.
472
00:18:07,046 --> 00:18:08,088
Hello!
473
00:18:08,297 --> 00:18:09,923
Hi. Are you involved in this?
474
00:18:10,132 --> 00:18:12,009
I'm just on
the advisory committee.
475
00:18:12,217 --> 00:18:14,219
Can you put in a word for me
with the director?
476
00:18:14,428 --> 00:18:16,221
(STAMMERS) Absolutely.
477
00:18:16,430 --> 00:18:18,432
- (CHUCKLES) Every bit helps.
- I guess so.
478
00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:19,975
- Mmm-hmm.
- So, break something.
479
00:18:20,184 --> 00:18:22,561
- (GRUNTS AND CHUCKLES)
- What?
480
00:18:22,770 --> 00:18:24,563
- Isn't she supposed
to fix you?
- I think so.
481
00:18:24,772 --> 00:18:26,482
- You're totally screwed.
- (SOFTLY) Ugh.
482
00:18:26,690 --> 00:18:29,651
- Oh, I'm on cloud nine.
- (WOMAN SINGING)
483
00:18:29,860 --> 00:18:32,154
We've done it.
We've found our leading lady.
484
00:18:32,362 --> 00:18:33,197
That's great, Taylor.
485
00:18:33,405 --> 00:18:35,324
I couldn't believe her resume.
486
00:18:35,532 --> 00:18:39,453
(STAMMERS) Credits for days.
She sings, she dances,
she whittles.
487
00:18:39,661 --> 00:18:42,581
Just look at her.
And look at those gams.
488
00:18:42,790 --> 00:18:45,501
(SIGHS) She's
the most beautiful woman
I've ever seen.
489
00:18:46,001 --> 00:18:47,836
- Present company
excepted, right?
- (BOTH CHUCKLE)
490
00:18:48,378 --> 00:18:50,589
No, she's pretty much
the hottest woman
I've ever seen.
491
00:18:50,798 --> 00:18:52,674
Hmm. And she was Kinky Boots.
492
00:18:53,383 --> 00:18:54,676
You mean she was
in Kinky Boots.
493
00:18:54,885 --> 00:18:56,220
No, no, she played the lead.
494
00:18:56,428 --> 00:18:58,680
- She was Kinky Boots.
- (LORELAI SCOFFS)
495
00:18:58,889 --> 00:19:00,432
But that's not her name.
496
00:19:00,641 --> 00:19:03,227
There was no character named
Kinky Boots. I saw the show.
497
00:19:03,435 --> 00:19:05,604
Yes, I saw the show, too.
498
00:19:06,146 --> 00:19:09,066
Now, excuse me, ladies.
I've got to get back to work.
499
00:19:11,318 --> 00:19:13,487
Stars Hollow is mounting
a big musical,
500
00:19:13,695 --> 00:19:15,948
and no one
from the Stars Hollow Gazette
is covering it.
501
00:19:16,156 --> 00:19:18,450
Why? Because there is
no more Stars Hollow Gazette.
502
00:19:18,659 --> 00:19:20,285
- It stinks.
- It stinks? That's it?
503
00:19:20,494 --> 00:19:21,829
The girl was Kinky Boots.
504
00:19:22,037 --> 00:19:24,039
She was in Kinky Boots!
Nobody is named Kinky Boots!
505
00:19:24,248 --> 00:19:25,082
This is not right.
506
00:19:25,290 --> 00:19:26,625
No. I saw the show twice.
507
00:19:26,834 --> 00:19:28,627
The Gazette cannot
just go down.
508
00:19:28,836 --> 00:19:30,754
I mean, it's not Spotlight
at the Boston Globe.
509
00:19:30,963 --> 00:19:33,132
It'll never uncover
a cabal of buggering priests.
510
00:19:33,340 --> 00:19:35,551
We only have one priest
in town. He's a good man.
511
00:19:35,759 --> 00:19:36,844
That's not
the Gazette's fault.
512
00:19:37,052 --> 00:19:38,804
- I'll see you back at home.
- Go get 'em!
513
00:19:39,012 --> 00:19:40,973
CLAUDIA: Hey, world,
you looking for me?
514
00:19:41,181 --> 00:19:44,393
♪ Stop your pouting
And get to shouting
515
00:19:44,601 --> 00:19:47,312
♪ 'Cause Bernie's back today
516
00:19:47,521 --> 00:19:52,526
♪ I've been gone so long
And you can bet
I've got a lot to say
517
00:19:52,734 --> 00:19:53,944
♪ Seriously, get comfortable ♪
518
00:19:54,153 --> 00:19:55,529
(SIGHS HEAVILY)
519
00:19:56,530 --> 00:19:59,074
Taylor, do not close
the Stars Hollow Gazette!
520
00:19:59,283 --> 00:20:00,159
Huh? What was that?
521
00:20:00,367 --> 00:20:01,577
Khaleesi is speaking.
522
00:20:01,785 --> 00:20:03,954
Bit's over, Brandon.
Do not close the Gazette.
523
00:20:04,163 --> 00:20:06,582
It's an institution,
and it's important
to a lot of people.
524
00:20:06,790 --> 00:20:08,458
Tell that
to Bernie Roundbottom.
525
00:20:08,667 --> 00:20:12,045
Marlin fishing in Boca Raton
was more meaningful
to that ingrate.
526
00:20:12,254 --> 00:20:14,464
Well... (SCOFFS) all it lacks
is an editor, right?
527
00:20:14,673 --> 00:20:17,426
So, someone to steer the ship?
I'm your girl!
528
00:20:18,051 --> 00:20:19,928
May I ask what
your qualifications are?
529
00:20:20,596 --> 00:20:21,597
I'm... here.
530
00:20:21,805 --> 00:20:23,682
Well, that's a good start.
531
00:20:23,891 --> 00:20:26,518
I have a degree in journalism
from Yale University.
How's that?
532
00:20:26,727 --> 00:20:30,856
Not bad, but this job
will take you away
from the Thirtysomething Gang.
533
00:20:31,064 --> 00:20:32,649
- Have you thought about that?
- I'll adjust.
534
00:20:32,858 --> 00:20:35,777
- Should we discuss salary?
- I assume it pays nothing?
535
00:20:35,986 --> 00:20:39,573
You got the job.
Come, let's go introduce you
to the staff.
536
00:20:39,781 --> 00:20:40,908
Lead the way.
537
00:20:47,206 --> 00:20:49,166
Everyone, good news!
538
00:20:49,374 --> 00:20:52,961
We found our editor
and the Gazette is saved.
539
00:20:53,170 --> 00:20:54,463
Some of you know her.
540
00:20:54,671 --> 00:20:58,884
Rory Gilmore, graduate of Yale
and a professional journalist.
541
00:20:59,092 --> 00:21:00,844
She starts immediately.
542
00:21:01,053 --> 00:21:04,389
Now, it may take her
a little time to learn
all your names,
543
00:21:04,598 --> 00:21:06,934
but I want you
to cooperate with her
544
00:21:07,142 --> 00:21:10,896
and give her 100%
of your skills
and capabilities,
545
00:21:11,104 --> 00:21:16,235
just as you did
Bernie Roundbottom. Please,
welcome her to the fold.
546
00:21:17,194 --> 00:21:18,403
Hi, I'm Rory.
547
00:21:19,029 --> 00:21:21,615
- Esther.
- (FEEBLY) Charlie.
548
00:21:23,659 --> 00:21:25,494
Great. Got the names.
549
00:21:25,702 --> 00:21:26,954
(TAYLOR CHUCKLES)
550
00:21:27,704 --> 00:21:31,041
We have you in adjoining rooms
eight and nine
for four nights.
551
00:21:31,250 --> 00:21:33,543
You are confirmed for tonight
for dinner at 6:30.
552
00:21:33,752 --> 00:21:37,005
Oh, and please take this.
Good for two
complimentary cocktails.
553
00:21:37,214 --> 00:21:38,382
Wonderful. Thanks.
554
00:21:38,590 --> 00:21:40,384
But I do not want
to leave anyone out.
555
00:21:40,592 --> 00:21:43,512
Is there anyone little here
today? Anyone at all?
556
00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:44,721
BOTH: We're little!
We're little!
557
00:21:44,930 --> 00:21:46,974
Oh! I did not see you there.
558
00:21:47,182 --> 00:21:50,185
For our special
little muppets,
complimentary lollipops.
559
00:21:50,394 --> 00:21:51,520
That is,
if you like lollipops.
560
00:21:51,728 --> 00:21:52,771
- Yeah!
- Oh, boy.
561
00:21:52,980 --> 00:21:57,150
Go ahead, take one each.
Now, when I say one,
I mean two.
562
00:21:57,359 --> 00:21:58,694
- Oh!
- KIDS: Thank you.
563
00:21:58,902 --> 00:21:59,778
Thank you. Enjoy your stay.
564
00:21:59,987 --> 00:22:01,822
- Thank you.
- Yes.
565
00:22:02,489 --> 00:22:04,366
(SIGHS) On a scale
of one to ten,
566
00:22:04,574 --> 00:22:06,868
how much did I sound
like a child molester?
567
00:22:07,077 --> 00:22:09,663
- Six.
- Oh, getting better. Hmm.
568
00:22:10,747 --> 00:22:12,040
- Lorelai.
- Yeah?
569
00:22:12,249 --> 00:22:14,042
Did you know
I just celebrated a birthday?
570
00:22:14,251 --> 00:22:15,127
Of course I did.
571
00:22:15,335 --> 00:22:16,712
It was a big one. A milestone.
572
00:22:16,920 --> 00:22:18,588
- (GASPS) Fifty?
- Forty. (SCOFFS)
573
00:22:18,797 --> 00:22:20,674
- I'm not 50.
- You're not 40.
574
00:22:20,882 --> 00:22:22,050
I'm not 50.
575
00:22:22,259 --> 00:22:23,885
Michel, you weren't
17 when we met.
576
00:22:24,094 --> 00:22:26,221
This is the problem
with knowing people
a long time.
577
00:22:26,430 --> 00:22:27,514
They can backdate you.
578
00:22:27,723 --> 00:22:28,974
I'm guessing you're
in the middle?
579
00:22:29,182 --> 00:22:30,434
Somewhere, yes.
580
00:22:30,642 --> 00:22:33,770
So, maybe you can take
me out for a drink tonight?
To celebrate?
581
00:22:33,979 --> 00:22:35,272
- Sure.
- And talk?
582
00:22:35,480 --> 00:22:37,190
(GASPS) Yeah, sure.
583
00:22:37,399 --> 00:22:39,192
- Let's talk.
- (DOOR OPENS)
584
00:22:39,401 --> 00:22:42,112
Oh, you must be the Mitchells!
We were expecting you.
585
00:22:42,321 --> 00:22:45,866
Oh my, who is
that little angel
you brought with you?
586
00:22:46,074 --> 00:22:49,578
She looks like she dropped
straight down from heaven.
(CHUCKLES)
587
00:22:49,786 --> 00:22:51,163
(LIVE MUSIC PLAYING)
588
00:22:51,371 --> 00:22:53,373
- (LORELAI CLEARS THROAT)
- WAITRESS: Hi, come on in.
589
00:22:53,582 --> 00:22:55,250
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
590
00:22:58,587 --> 00:23:01,631
Welcome to the Secret Bar.
What can I get you?
591
00:23:01,840 --> 00:23:03,300
- Uh...
- Um...
592
00:23:03,508 --> 00:23:05,594
Gin martini.
Cold, dry, twist, please.
593
00:23:05,802 --> 00:23:07,220
Do you have
the George Clooney tequila?
594
00:23:07,429 --> 00:23:10,849
The one he enjoys
with celebrity friends on his
many tequila-filled nights?
595
00:23:11,058 --> 00:23:12,184
We've got Jose Cuervo.
596
00:23:12,392 --> 00:23:13,435
Does he hang out
with George Clooney?
597
00:23:13,643 --> 00:23:16,188
Bring me a shot of Jose,
with a little bit
of salt on the rim.
598
00:23:16,396 --> 00:23:17,439
- Got it.
- Thank you.
599
00:23:18,523 --> 00:23:20,025
(SIGHS HEAVILY)
600
00:23:22,235 --> 00:23:24,237
Pretty good crowd tonight.
601
00:23:25,113 --> 00:23:27,282
Yes. (CHUCKLES)
Very lively.
602
00:23:27,491 --> 00:23:29,034
So... (CLEARS THROAT)
603
00:23:30,118 --> 00:23:32,037
(IMITATING MARLON BRANDO)
"My wife is crying upstairs.
604
00:23:32,746 --> 00:23:34,664
"I can hear cars coming
in the house.
605
00:23:35,540 --> 00:23:39,086
"Consigliere of mine,
I think it's time you
tell your Don
606
00:23:39,294 --> 00:23:40,962
"what everyone seems to know."
607
00:23:41,171 --> 00:23:42,839
- What?
- It's from The Godfather.
608
00:23:43,048 --> 00:23:44,716
(SIGHS) Oh, not
The Godfather again.
609
00:23:44,925 --> 00:23:46,551
It has a quote for
every circumstance.
610
00:23:46,760 --> 00:23:48,261
- You don't have a wife.
- It's not exact.
611
00:23:48,470 --> 00:23:49,554
- And who's Don?
- Michel--
612
00:23:49,763 --> 00:23:52,140
- I'm leaving.
- (SIGHS)
613
00:23:53,100 --> 00:23:56,228
(CHUCKLES) I'm out of quotes.
614
00:23:57,479 --> 00:24:01,817
I was not just on vacation.
I had a meeting
at the W Hotel.
615
00:24:02,442 --> 00:24:03,151
Oh.
616
00:24:04,027 --> 00:24:08,532
Look, with my experience,
my skills, my charm,
don't laugh--
617
00:24:08,740 --> 00:24:11,159
- Wasn't laughing.
- Doors are open to me.
618
00:24:11,368 --> 00:24:13,578
Good jobs. High-paying jobs.
619
00:24:13,787 --> 00:24:15,580
I can't say that
I'm surprised.
620
00:24:16,164 --> 00:24:18,417
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
621
00:24:19,751 --> 00:24:21,962
What I wanted to ask,
before it's final,
622
00:24:22,170 --> 00:24:24,381
is there a way
we can expand the Dragonfly?
623
00:24:24,589 --> 00:24:27,926
Make it bigger, add a spa.
I was born to run a spa.
624
00:24:28,135 --> 00:24:31,096
Michel, I've got
a nature preserve on one side,
625
00:24:31,471 --> 00:24:34,433
a fire lane on the other side,
protected wetlands
on the other side,
626
00:24:34,641 --> 00:24:37,102
and I can't put guests
in the barn unless
they eat oats.
627
00:24:37,310 --> 00:24:41,106
Well, I need more. More to do.
More responsibility.
More money.
628
00:24:41,314 --> 00:24:43,316
- We have a baby
on the way.
- You do?
629
00:24:43,525 --> 00:24:47,112
Yeah, I think Frederick
ordered one. I have to check.
Anyway...
630
00:24:48,363 --> 00:24:50,323
I can't just stay
in one place forever.
631
00:24:51,032 --> 00:24:51,867
I know.
632
00:24:52,492 --> 00:24:54,619
I think I need to take
that job at the W.
633
00:24:54,828 --> 00:24:56,455
- MAN: Five-O!
- WOMAN: Five-O!
634
00:24:56,663 --> 00:24:58,206
(SIGHS AND BLOWS)
635
00:24:59,416 --> 00:25:00,959
(CLAMORING)
636
00:25:17,017 --> 00:25:18,226
WOMAN: Clear!
637
00:25:25,650 --> 00:25:26,735
- (SIGHS)
- (MUSIC PLAYING)
638
00:25:26,943 --> 00:25:28,069
What if I come up with
more money for you?
639
00:25:28,278 --> 00:25:31,531
You're overpaying me now.
Part of my pay
comes out of yours.
640
00:25:32,949 --> 00:25:35,535
You think Michel only sees
as far as his own reflection?
641
00:25:35,744 --> 00:25:37,787
I see the books.
I need more money.
642
00:25:37,996 --> 00:25:40,415
You need someone you can
pay less. Can you deny that?
643
00:25:42,584 --> 00:25:45,253
What are you doing?
Is your drink sour?
What's going on?
644
00:25:45,462 --> 00:25:46,630
I'm just trying not to cry.
645
00:25:46,838 --> 00:25:48,673
Lorelai, don't cry.
646
00:25:48,882 --> 00:25:51,593
If you cry, I'll cry.
I can't be seen crying
at the Secret Bar.
647
00:25:51,801 --> 00:25:53,094
It's bad enough
that I'm here at all.
648
00:25:53,303 --> 00:25:54,679
I'm trying not to.
649
00:25:55,347 --> 00:25:57,807
Lane, this dumb slow song
is not helping.
650
00:25:58,016 --> 00:25:59,976
Play something happy
and uplifting, please.
651
00:26:00,977 --> 00:26:03,438
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
652
00:26:06,316 --> 00:26:08,276
It's much better!
653
00:26:10,987 --> 00:26:12,072
(SIGHS)
654
00:26:13,031 --> 00:26:17,702
I must say, it's been
a while since I've felt such
energy and excitement
655
00:26:17,911 --> 00:26:20,163
on the floor
of the Stars Hollow
Gazette newsroom.
656
00:26:20,372 --> 00:26:22,749
Yeah, it's like
an Aaron Sorkin movie in here.
657
00:26:22,958 --> 00:26:25,794
Are you not having fun?
It's important to have fun.
658
00:26:26,002 --> 00:26:26,878
Oh, I'm having fun.
659
00:26:27,087 --> 00:26:29,673
Right now, I'm experiencing
the joy of MS-DOS.
660
00:26:29,881 --> 00:26:33,218
Well, if you're confused,
Esther here is
our computer expert.
661
00:26:33,426 --> 00:26:34,302
- Esther?
- ESTHER: Yes?
662
00:26:34,511 --> 00:26:35,804
What do you know about MS-DOS?
663
00:26:36,012 --> 00:26:37,305
Is that an actor?
664
00:26:37,514 --> 00:26:39,599
No, it's the computer
operating system.
665
00:26:39,808 --> 00:26:41,309
I know about it from
Halt and Catch Fire,
666
00:26:41,518 --> 00:26:43,478
and I didn't watch
the show closely.
667
00:26:43,687 --> 00:26:48,942
Well, I have the instructions
here Mr. Roundbottom gave me.
Hold on.
668
00:26:52,070 --> 00:26:54,990
"Turn computer on."
Did you turn it on?
669
00:26:55,198 --> 00:26:56,992
I did everything
but blow in its ear.
670
00:26:57,200 --> 00:27:00,370
"Insert floppy disk."
You got your floppy disk?
671
00:27:00,579 --> 00:27:01,496
Never mind, Esther. (SIGHS)
672
00:27:01,705 --> 00:27:03,081
Happy to help.
673
00:27:03,290 --> 00:27:06,209
Huh, something is
not adding up here.
674
00:27:06,418 --> 00:27:08,378
Let's get out the abacus
and figure it out.
675
00:27:08,587 --> 00:27:11,089
You're printing the poem
on the cover, yes?
676
00:27:11,298 --> 00:27:13,466
- The poem?
- Oh, yes, a poem.
677
00:27:13,675 --> 00:27:17,053
There's been a poem
on the cover
celebrating the season
678
00:27:17,262 --> 00:27:18,722
in every issue
we've ever published.
679
00:27:18,930 --> 00:27:20,223
I know. I'm an avid reader.
680
00:27:20,432 --> 00:27:21,600
I was thinking
of going another way.
681
00:27:21,808 --> 00:27:23,852
Another way. Okay.
682
00:27:24,060 --> 00:27:27,856
Editor's choice, I guess.
(CHUCKLES)
I'll leave you to it.
683
00:27:28,064 --> 00:27:29,107
See you later, Taylor.
684
00:27:29,816 --> 00:27:32,193
- Coffee pot needs washing.
- And a jackhammer.
685
00:27:33,236 --> 00:27:36,323
Oh, hello, Taylor.
Just came by to visit
my little Perry White.
686
00:27:36,531 --> 00:27:40,952
Now, she's working.
Don't distract her too much.
687
00:27:42,203 --> 00:27:44,706
MAN AND WOMAN: (IN DISTANCE)
Five-O!
688
00:27:44,914 --> 00:27:47,500
I've had a long day.
A very long day.
689
00:27:48,251 --> 00:27:49,669
Me, too. (SIGHS)
690
00:27:51,004 --> 00:27:52,380
A magical desk.
691
00:27:54,841 --> 00:27:58,011
Tell me, is this Scotch old?
692
00:27:58,219 --> 00:28:02,390
Judging by the "Save
for VE Day," scrawled on
the label, I'd say yes.
693
00:28:02,599 --> 00:28:03,642
Bottoms up.
694
00:28:05,143 --> 00:28:05,894
(GROANS)
695
00:28:06,102 --> 00:28:07,187
Oops, we woke Charlie up.
696
00:28:07,395 --> 00:28:11,566
I just left Michel
at the Secret Bar.
It's final. He's leaving.
697
00:28:11,775 --> 00:28:12,484
Really?
698
00:28:12,817 --> 00:28:15,153
He's giving me three months
to find his replacement.
699
00:28:15,362 --> 00:28:16,655
Claims it may not be
enough time.
700
00:28:16,863 --> 00:28:18,239
Always humble, our Michel.
701
00:28:19,324 --> 00:28:20,659
I'm really gonna miss him.
702
00:28:21,159 --> 00:28:22,619
- Me, too.
- (CELL PHONE VIBRATING)
703
00:28:23,286 --> 00:28:24,245
- (GROANS)
- What?
704
00:28:24,454 --> 00:28:25,538
- Paul.
- Who?
705
00:28:25,747 --> 00:28:27,290
- Come on.
- You haven't broken
up with him?
706
00:28:27,499 --> 00:28:29,042
Let's have
another round tonight.
707
00:28:31,920 --> 00:28:33,797
(LORELAI SIGHS HEAVILY)
708
00:28:36,132 --> 00:28:37,175
(CHARLIE GROANING)
709
00:28:37,384 --> 00:28:38,468
Shoot!
Woke Charlie up again.
710
00:28:38,677 --> 00:28:39,636
Oh.
711
00:28:41,137 --> 00:28:42,305
(SIGHS)
712
00:28:45,642 --> 00:28:47,352
Well, we did it, folks.
713
00:28:47,560 --> 00:28:50,480
Our first issue of the Gazette
is ready to hit the stands.
714
00:28:50,689 --> 00:28:51,981
It's not my first issue.
715
00:28:52,190 --> 00:28:53,316
Or mine, neither.
716
00:28:53,525 --> 00:28:54,859
Well, no, but it's mine.
717
00:28:55,068 --> 00:28:58,613
It's an accomplishment.
A milestone. We should open
some champagne.
718
00:28:58,822 --> 00:29:00,198
Gives me gas.
719
00:29:01,282 --> 00:29:03,618
Hey, question.
What's the next step?
720
00:29:03,827 --> 00:29:04,703
Huh?
721
00:29:04,911 --> 00:29:06,079
Where do the papers go?
722
00:29:06,746 --> 00:29:09,207
All the businesses
in town get a stack.
723
00:29:09,416 --> 00:29:11,584
Yes, but who
delivers the stacks?
724
00:29:19,592 --> 00:29:20,468
How's it going in here?
725
00:29:20,677 --> 00:29:23,054
Fine, if Eric would run plates
while they're hot!
726
00:29:23,263 --> 00:29:25,265
Customers cornered him.
He'll be right in.
727
00:29:25,473 --> 00:29:28,852
Great. Eric's chatting about
the Red Sox while
the food's getting cold?
728
00:29:29,060 --> 00:29:30,353
MICHEL: Oh, he hates
the Red Sox.
729
00:29:30,562 --> 00:29:32,355
And you. I'm mad at you.
730
00:29:32,564 --> 00:29:34,232
- Why are you mad at me?
- You know why.
731
00:29:34,441 --> 00:29:37,068
Are you doing this?
Are you siccing
the mountain man on me?
732
00:29:37,277 --> 00:29:40,572
The couple from New York
wants to know if the meat
is Pat LaFrieda?
733
00:29:40,780 --> 00:29:41,948
- What?
- Is it Pat LaFrieda?
734
00:29:42,157 --> 00:29:43,742
The couple from New York
wants to know
735
00:29:43,950 --> 00:29:46,202
if I ground up some guy
named Pat LaFrieda
and served him?
736
00:29:46,411 --> 00:29:47,370
Tell them yeah.
737
00:29:47,579 --> 00:29:50,540
Give them this.
They'll like it.
I put Pat's pancreas in there.
738
00:29:50,749 --> 00:29:52,542
Luke, hon,
have I thanked you lately
739
00:29:52,751 --> 00:29:55,128
for hosting Tuesday Burger Day
at the Dragonfly?
740
00:29:55,336 --> 00:29:56,296
LUKE: There's no need.
741
00:29:56,504 --> 00:29:57,672
But if it's driving
you crazy--
742
00:29:57,881 --> 00:29:59,132
- I'm fine.
- You don't seem fine.
743
00:29:59,340 --> 00:30:00,759
I'm just trying
to keep things going.
744
00:30:00,967 --> 00:30:02,343
- Okay.
- (CELL PHONE VIBRATES)
745
00:30:02,552 --> 00:30:03,261
Hi.
746
00:30:03,470 --> 00:30:05,346
- Help. I need help.
- LORELAI: What?
747
00:30:05,555 --> 00:30:07,432
- With what?
- Gazette. Now.
748
00:30:07,640 --> 00:30:09,058
- Bring walking shoes.
- Uh--
749
00:30:09,267 --> 00:30:11,561
- (SIGHS) You know
I have a business!
- I know.
750
00:30:11,770 --> 00:30:13,688
Instead of being there,
running the diner,
751
00:30:13,897 --> 00:30:16,816
I'm here, talking about
whether or not I ground up
some Italian guy
752
00:30:17,025 --> 00:30:18,067
and served him in my burgers.
753
00:30:18,276 --> 00:30:19,819
Pat LaFrieda is
a New York butcher.
754
00:30:20,028 --> 00:30:21,404
- Hire a chef.
- I will.
755
00:30:21,613 --> 00:30:23,990
- Soon.
- Uh, I'm gonna go
get one right now.
756
00:30:25,283 --> 00:30:26,451
Wait.
757
00:30:26,659 --> 00:30:28,369
Are you just gonna
leave me here?
758
00:30:28,578 --> 00:30:30,747
Hello? Eric?
759
00:30:30,955 --> 00:30:33,374
Somebody?
Hello?
760
00:30:34,250 --> 00:30:36,252
- Got the list?
Shoes on tight?
- Check. Check.
761
00:30:36,461 --> 00:30:37,629
Let's do this.
762
00:30:39,214 --> 00:30:41,007
You take the west side,
I'll take the east.
763
00:30:41,216 --> 00:30:42,217
Got it.
764
00:30:42,759 --> 00:30:43,843
- Where're you going?
- That's west.
765
00:30:44,052 --> 00:30:45,303
- That's east.
- That's west.
766
00:30:45,512 --> 00:30:47,388
It's not. See?
Eastside Dental. It's east.
767
00:30:47,597 --> 00:30:49,808
And the name of the dentist
at Eastside Dental is...
768
00:30:50,016 --> 00:30:52,310
Dr. Eastside. Holy cow,
I just put that together?
769
00:30:52,519 --> 00:30:55,355
Look, you take that side
of town, I'll take this side.
770
00:30:55,563 --> 00:30:56,481
Deal.
771
00:30:58,066 --> 00:31:02,237
♪ You keep saying
You've got something for me
772
00:31:03,738 --> 00:31:07,408
♪ Something you call love
But confess
773
00:31:09,577 --> 00:31:13,122
♪ You've been a-messing
Where you shouldn't have been
a-messing
774
00:31:14,916 --> 00:31:19,295
♪ And now someone else
Is getting all your best
775
00:31:20,839 --> 00:31:23,758
♪ These boots
are made for walkin'
776
00:31:23,967 --> 00:31:26,803
♪ And that's just
what they'll do
777
00:31:27,011 --> 00:31:31,724
♪ One of these days
These boots are gonna
walk all over you ♪
778
00:31:31,933 --> 00:31:32,767
Rory, wait!
779
00:31:33,393 --> 00:31:34,227
What's up, guys?
780
00:31:34,435 --> 00:31:35,979
- Where's the poem?
- Didn't have room for it.
781
00:31:36,187 --> 00:31:38,273
- You didn't have room?
- But the poem is great.
782
00:31:38,481 --> 00:31:39,691
The poem is traditional.
783
00:31:39,899 --> 00:31:41,943
- Now there's just words.
- Those are articles.
784
00:31:42,151 --> 00:31:44,654
- Articles?
- Who reads the Gazette
for the articles?
785
00:31:45,280 --> 00:31:46,948
Thanks for coming.
We appreciate your business.
786
00:31:47,156 --> 00:31:48,658
You look exhausted.
787
00:31:48,867 --> 00:31:50,994
- Calling in reinforcements.
- (LINE RINGING)
788
00:31:51,786 --> 00:31:54,330
Okay. I'll take the west side,
you take the east side.
789
00:31:55,665 --> 00:31:57,250
(SIGHS) That's west.
790
00:31:57,458 --> 00:31:58,626
That's east.
791
00:31:58,835 --> 00:32:00,920
Dewey, I am telling you
that is the west side.
792
00:32:01,129 --> 00:32:03,089
Nope. There's 38 here.
I'm supposed to get 40.
793
00:32:03,298 --> 00:32:04,424
I'll come back with two more.
794
00:32:04,632 --> 00:32:05,550
I can't accept
partial delivery.
795
00:32:05,758 --> 00:32:07,260
You can and you will.
796
00:32:07,468 --> 00:32:09,971
Bernie Roundbottom never
conducted business like this!
797
00:32:10,179 --> 00:32:12,557
Well, there's a new Bernie
Roundbottom in town!
798
00:32:18,605 --> 00:32:21,065
TAYLOR: Shellfish gets better
with age, Mrs. Cassini.
799
00:32:21,274 --> 00:32:22,358
Everyone knows that.
800
00:32:22,567 --> 00:32:24,986
Already got a complaint
from Bootsy. You shorted him.
801
00:32:25,194 --> 00:32:26,237
I don't care!
802
00:32:26,446 --> 00:32:27,780
And people are
missing the poem!
803
00:32:27,989 --> 00:32:29,782
Just a heads-up!
804
00:32:34,871 --> 00:32:36,039
(SIGHS)
805
00:32:42,837 --> 00:32:45,089
Hey. What are you guys up to?
806
00:32:45,298 --> 00:32:48,051
We're doing
"I drink your milkshake!
I drink it up!"
807
00:32:48,259 --> 00:32:49,135
It's from There Will Be Blood.
808
00:32:49,344 --> 00:32:50,637
- The movie?
- Mmm-hmm.
809
00:32:50,845 --> 00:32:52,221
We love everything
Paul Thomas Anderson does.
810
00:32:52,430 --> 00:32:53,848
We're
the Thirtysomething Gang!
811
00:32:54,057 --> 00:32:55,016
See ya.
812
00:32:57,894 --> 00:32:58,645
Hello?
813
00:32:58,978 --> 00:33:00,104
Rory. Doyle.
814
00:33:00,313 --> 00:33:02,565
- Hey, Doyle. What's up?
- Nothing much with me.
815
00:33:02,774 --> 00:33:05,526
What's up with you ruining
my movie review
in the Gazette?
816
00:33:05,735 --> 00:33:07,612
Doyle, please.
I'm in the middle of my route.
817
00:33:07,820 --> 00:33:09,447
I was doing you
a favor, right?
818
00:33:09,656 --> 00:33:11,366
You'd asked me
if I'd like to contribute?
819
00:33:11,574 --> 00:33:13,326
I said yes, help out
an old friend,
820
00:33:13,534 --> 00:33:15,244
and then you butchered it
like a piece of veal.
821
00:33:15,453 --> 00:33:16,788
Your review of The Jungle Book
822
00:33:16,996 --> 00:33:20,375
took a 20,000-word detour
into the history
of African colonialism.
823
00:33:20,583 --> 00:33:22,877
So you're gonna get
all anti-intellectual now?
824
00:33:23,086 --> 00:33:24,462
5,000 of those words
were adjectives.
825
00:33:24,671 --> 00:33:27,215
- Who says adjectives are bad?
- You, when you were my editor.
826
00:33:27,423 --> 00:33:29,425
I'm writing a couple things
for Michael Bay,
827
00:33:29,634 --> 00:33:31,386
and he's really
into adjectives.
828
00:33:31,594 --> 00:33:33,554
You trust his grammatical
stylings over me?
829
00:33:33,763 --> 00:33:35,807
- Are you saying I'm a sell-out?
- No, I'm not.
830
00:33:36,015 --> 00:33:38,810
I played snooker
at his house last night,
and he's really cool.
831
00:33:39,018 --> 00:33:40,019
I don't have time for this.
832
00:33:40,228 --> 00:33:41,938
What idiot got rid
of the poem?
833
00:33:44,065 --> 00:33:45,149
- Hi.
- Hi.
834
00:33:45,358 --> 00:33:47,235
We've been meaning
to introduce ourselves.
835
00:33:47,443 --> 00:33:50,571
We get together
a couple times a week,
read our kids' resumes,
836
00:33:50,780 --> 00:33:53,449
trade job tips,
just offer general support.
837
00:33:53,658 --> 00:33:55,535
We're the parents
of the Thirtysomething Gang.
838
00:33:55,743 --> 00:33:56,703
See ya.
839
00:34:00,540 --> 00:34:02,166
(SIGHS) Are you kidding me?
840
00:34:02,375 --> 00:34:03,459
She was here about
20 minutes ago.
841
00:34:03,668 --> 00:34:04,836
LORELAI: Hey, there.
842
00:34:05,044 --> 00:34:07,088
I just found newspapers
at Mrs. Kim's.
843
00:34:07,296 --> 00:34:09,674
(STAMMERS) I just found
newspapers
at the dentist's. So there.
844
00:34:09,882 --> 00:34:12,468
Oh! For the love of--
We're hitting the same spots!
845
00:34:12,677 --> 00:34:14,929
Well, then stop hitting
the east side, Rory!
846
00:34:15,138 --> 00:34:17,181
RORY: No.
I'm hitting the west side!
847
00:34:17,390 --> 00:34:20,268
LORELAI: No! Dewey said
this is the east side!
848
00:34:20,476 --> 00:34:21,936
That's the west side!
849
00:34:22,145 --> 00:34:23,730
LORELAI: We need
a better system!
850
00:34:24,856 --> 00:34:27,984
ALL: I drink your milkshake!
I drink it up!
851
00:34:29,485 --> 00:34:30,945
Going to the gym?
852
00:34:31,154 --> 00:34:36,451
Oh, yeah. I just... gotta go
home and get my stuff.
853
00:34:36,659 --> 00:34:37,994
ESTHER:
Great. I'll see you there.
854
00:34:38,202 --> 00:34:39,412
CHARLIE: Okay.
855
00:34:42,623 --> 00:34:44,292
RORY: Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!
856
00:34:44,500 --> 00:34:46,794
- Rory!
- Ouch! (GRUNTS) Ouch!
857
00:34:47,003 --> 00:34:48,212
Ouch, my feet bloody hurt.
858
00:34:48,421 --> 00:34:49,589
Ow! Ow! Ow!
859
00:34:49,797 --> 00:34:51,299
- What's wrong?
- My feet hurt.
860
00:34:51,507 --> 00:34:52,759
I told you to wear
comfy shoes.
861
00:34:52,967 --> 00:34:56,220
Even comfy shoes
cannot offset the effects of
the Bataan Death March. Ow!
862
00:34:56,429 --> 00:34:57,805
This walking thing
is for chumps.
863
00:34:58,014 --> 00:35:00,099
I have newfound respect
for delivery people.
864
00:35:00,308 --> 00:35:02,602
Next time I see the UPS guy,
I'm gonna make him happy.
865
00:35:02,810 --> 00:35:03,478
Ew.
866
00:35:04,270 --> 00:35:05,772
(SIGHS) I want a raise.
(GRUNTS)
867
00:35:05,980 --> 00:35:07,065
Talk to my office manager.
868
00:35:07,273 --> 00:35:08,316
- Who's your office manager?
- Me.
869
00:35:08,524 --> 00:35:09,317
Hey, I want a raise.
870
00:35:09,525 --> 00:35:11,360
After the year-end review,
maybe I'll throw
you something.
871
00:35:11,569 --> 00:35:13,821
Did we order Chinese,
Greek and Italian last night?
872
00:35:14,030 --> 00:35:16,157
- And hot dogs.
- Ugh. Last night's a blur.
873
00:35:16,365 --> 00:35:17,992
What did we end up watching?
874
00:35:18,201 --> 00:35:21,037
Was it Baby Monitor: Sound
of Fear, or Co-Ed Call Girl?
875
00:35:21,245 --> 00:35:22,830
No, I'd remember
if we'd rocked a Spelling.
876
00:35:23,039 --> 00:35:26,459
They should make a Lifetime
movie out of Tori Spelling
falling at Benihana.
877
00:35:26,667 --> 00:35:28,127
Teppanyaki: Grill of Death.
878
00:35:28,336 --> 00:35:29,545
I need to call Grandma.
879
00:35:29,754 --> 00:35:30,713
(SCOFFS) Oh, yes.
880
00:35:30,922 --> 00:35:33,424
When I think
of blistering burns,
I also think of my mother.
881
00:35:33,633 --> 00:35:35,510
Ouch! Ouch!
882
00:35:36,344 --> 00:35:38,179
(LINE RINGING)
883
00:35:38,387 --> 00:35:40,056
- EMILY: Hello?
- Grandma.
884
00:35:40,264 --> 00:35:41,682
- Yes?
- It's Rory.
885
00:35:41,891 --> 00:35:43,518
Oh! Rory. Hello.
886
00:35:43,726 --> 00:35:44,936
Are you okay?
887
00:35:45,144 --> 00:35:48,564
Uh, I guess. I...
I just need some coffee.
888
00:35:48,773 --> 00:35:51,275
Berta, have the cousins
bring me coffee!
889
00:35:51,484 --> 00:35:52,485
Did I just wake you up?
890
00:35:52,693 --> 00:35:54,153
No, I was just dozing.
891
00:35:54,362 --> 00:35:55,446
Are you sick?
892
00:35:55,655 --> 00:35:57,281
No, I... I'm fine.
893
00:35:57,490 --> 00:35:58,533
What time is it?
894
00:35:58,741 --> 00:35:59,575
It's almost noon.
895
00:35:59,784 --> 00:36:00,993
Already?
896
00:36:01,202 --> 00:36:03,579
Noon is when dock workers
and rock stars get up.
897
00:36:03,788 --> 00:36:06,124
Are you doing
some moonlighting
I don't know about?
898
00:36:06,332 --> 00:36:08,960
Uh, no. Where are my glasses?
899
00:36:09,168 --> 00:36:11,504
I'd like to come see you.
When are you free?
900
00:36:11,712 --> 00:36:13,631
I don't know. What day is it?
901
00:36:13,840 --> 00:36:15,091
It's Saturday.
902
00:36:15,800 --> 00:36:21,097
Well, I have a DAR meeting
on Thursday, but other
than that, I'm free.
903
00:36:21,305 --> 00:36:22,974
- So maybe I'll--
- Wait a minute. Hold on.
904
00:36:23,182 --> 00:36:24,934
Berta, was that the door?
905
00:36:25,143 --> 00:36:26,978
I'm sorry, Rory.
I have to go.
906
00:36:27,186 --> 00:36:28,646
- Grandma--
- (LINE DISCONNECTS)
907
00:36:32,066 --> 00:36:33,401
RORY: Ouch! Ouch!
908
00:36:33,609 --> 00:36:35,444
I kind of dig it. It's like
you're wearing a cowbell.
909
00:36:35,653 --> 00:36:38,823
Well, dig this. Grandma was
asleep and it's almost noon.
910
00:36:39,031 --> 00:36:39,907
Hmm.
911
00:36:40,116 --> 00:36:41,492
I woke her up!
912
00:36:42,827 --> 00:36:45,288
Are you hearing me? I woke up
Emily Gilmore at noon.
913
00:36:45,496 --> 00:36:47,290
- I heard.
- It's weird.
914
00:36:47,498 --> 00:36:48,374
It's weird.
915
00:36:49,167 --> 00:36:52,128
(SCOFFS)
Thanks for supporting her.
That's been really helpful.
916
00:36:52,336 --> 00:36:54,255
Hey! She's the one
who quit therapy
917
00:36:54,463 --> 00:36:56,757
and drove that poor woman
into show business.
918
00:36:56,966 --> 00:36:58,593
- You're a child.
- Get used to it.
919
00:36:58,801 --> 00:37:01,596
I have to head to the Gazette.
News never sleeps. Ouch!
920
00:37:01,804 --> 00:37:03,139
- Ouch! Ouch!
- Ouch!
921
00:37:03,347 --> 00:37:04,891
- RORY: Ouch! Ouch!
- LORELAI: Ouch! Ouch!
922
00:37:05,892 --> 00:37:10,062
Welcome, everyone,
to the first run-through
of Stars Hollow: The Musical.
923
00:37:10,271 --> 00:37:14,025
This is a special preview
performance for
our advisory committee,
924
00:37:14,233 --> 00:37:17,528
and for a few select friends
and family.
925
00:37:17,737 --> 00:37:22,450
I think you're all in
for a real treat.
But first, some business.
926
00:37:22,658 --> 00:37:26,370
What you see here today
needs to remain
strictly confidential.
927
00:37:26,579 --> 00:37:29,373
But rather than having
good neighbors
such as yourselves
928
00:37:29,582 --> 00:37:31,542
sign some cold legal document,
929
00:37:31,751 --> 00:37:35,129
how about you all raise
your right hands
and repeat after me?
930
00:37:35,713 --> 00:37:38,257
I, Stars Hollow
theater lover...
931
00:37:38,466 --> 00:37:40,801
ALL: I,
Stars Hollow theater lover...
932
00:37:41,010 --> 00:37:46,224
...hereby swear that
I will not divulge any portion
of this show in any way...
933
00:37:46,432 --> 00:37:50,978
...hereby swear that I will
not divulge any portion
of this show in any way...
934
00:37:51,187 --> 00:37:56,108
...out of respect for
the hard-working creators of
this musical, so help me God,
935
00:37:56,317 --> 00:38:00,488
or Allah, or Buddha,
or whatever it is you pray to.
936
00:38:00,696 --> 00:38:05,576
...out of respect for
the hard-working creators of
this musical, so help me God,
937
00:38:05,785 --> 00:38:10,081
or Allah, or Buddha,
or whoever it is you pray to.
938
00:38:10,289 --> 00:38:11,958
Wow! Are we excited
about this!
939
00:38:12,166 --> 00:38:14,126
Wow! Are we excited
about this!
940
00:38:14,335 --> 00:38:16,837
No, uh, people,
the repeating part is over.
941
00:38:17,046 --> 00:38:19,382
You'll see that the show
is a little rough,
942
00:38:19,590 --> 00:38:24,220
but Nat and I have put
our hearts and souls
into this, haven't we, Nat?
943
00:38:24,428 --> 00:38:26,013
(INHALES DEEPLY)
944
00:38:26,222 --> 00:38:27,556
He needs more fiber, that boy.
945
00:38:27,765 --> 00:38:28,808
Or last rites.
946
00:38:29,016 --> 00:38:33,396
Under each of your seats
is a pen and clipboard
with sheets of blank paper,
947
00:38:33,604 --> 00:38:35,398
ready for your feedback.
948
00:38:35,606 --> 00:38:40,194
Feel free to jot down
any critique or suggestion
anytime during the show.
949
00:38:40,403 --> 00:38:46,993
And now, sit back,
relax, and enjoy
Stars Hollow: The Musical!
950
00:38:55,918 --> 00:38:57,044
(GRUNTS)
951
00:38:58,546 --> 00:39:00,715
VIOLET:
One more for the road, huh?
952
00:39:01,716 --> 00:39:03,759
Can't a man enjoy
a glass of whiskey
953
00:39:03,968 --> 00:39:07,388
after a hard day's work
here in Stars Hollow?
954
00:39:07,596 --> 00:39:09,223
VIOLET: A man can.
955
00:39:09,432 --> 00:39:12,935
- (AUDIENCE GASPING)
- But there's no man
in this room.
956
00:39:13,144 --> 00:39:14,312
- What the--
- Shh!
957
00:39:14,520 --> 00:39:16,105
- But, look at the--
- (ALL SHUSHING)
958
00:39:16,314 --> 00:39:18,858
You were always
a sly cat, Felix.
959
00:39:20,234 --> 00:39:21,777
(GRUNTS) But your talons
have dulled.
960
00:39:21,986 --> 00:39:23,779
(PLASTIC CUP CLATTERING)
961
00:39:25,072 --> 00:39:27,158
A cat has nine lives.
962
00:39:27,366 --> 00:39:28,826
And all of mine are
in the past!
963
00:39:29,035 --> 00:39:30,202
Meow.
964
00:39:30,411 --> 00:39:33,331
I wish I was in the past.
It's better than
any future with you!
965
00:39:33,539 --> 00:39:34,749
- Low blow!
- (SIGHS)
966
00:39:34,957 --> 00:39:36,834
- (RUMBLING)
- What's happening?
967
00:39:37,043 --> 00:39:38,794
- I don't know!
- (WHIMPERS)
968
00:39:39,003 --> 00:39:40,129
Hold on!
969
00:39:41,005 --> 00:39:42,006
(DISCORDANT MUSIC PLAYING)
970
00:39:42,214 --> 00:39:44,008
- What?
- (GASPS)
971
00:39:52,391 --> 00:39:53,392
(MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY)
972
00:39:53,601 --> 00:39:55,353
(BOTH HUMMING)
973
00:40:05,821 --> 00:40:08,157
(BOTH VOCALIZING)
974
00:40:08,366 --> 00:40:09,742
No. What?
975
00:40:10,368 --> 00:40:14,580
♪ We're working on building
Working on building
Stars Hollow
976
00:40:14,789 --> 00:40:18,793
♪ We're working on building
Working on building Stars,
Stars Hollow
977
00:40:19,001 --> 00:40:23,255
♪ This redwood tree,
it soars so high
It touches God in heaven
978
00:40:23,464 --> 00:40:27,593
♪ We'll hack it into
a dining room set
That'll easily seat eleven
979
00:40:27,802 --> 00:40:32,056
♪ Working on building
Working on building
Stars Hollow
980
00:40:32,264 --> 00:40:34,433
♪ We're working on building
Working on building
981
00:40:34,642 --> 00:40:36,268
♪ Stars, Stars Hollow
982
00:40:36,477 --> 00:40:38,604
♪ There's a river over there
Got to move it over here
983
00:40:38,813 --> 00:40:40,731
♪ Gonna kill a lot of beaver
Gonna cull a lot of deer
984
00:40:40,940 --> 00:40:43,234
♪ There's no EPA
So we'll do it our way
985
00:40:43,442 --> 00:40:45,152
♪ Stars Hollow!
986
00:40:45,361 --> 00:40:46,904
♪ Got a hatchet and an ax
And a hammer and a knife ♪
987
00:40:47,113 --> 00:40:48,531
The guy is hot.
988
00:40:48,739 --> 00:40:49,949
♪ And a red hot poker
And a super sharp scythe
989
00:40:50,157 --> 00:40:51,992
♪ Got a dagger and a mallet
And a really big rock
990
00:40:52,201 --> 00:40:53,786
♪ Stars Hollow!
991
00:40:53,994 --> 00:40:56,122
♪ Got a hatchet and an ax
And a hammer and a knife
992
00:40:56,330 --> 00:40:58,374
♪ Got a red hot poker
With a super sharp scythe
993
00:40:58,582 --> 00:41:00,751
♪ Got a dagger and a mallet
And a really big rock
994
00:41:00,960 --> 00:41:02,461
♪ Stars Hollow! ♪
995
00:41:02,670 --> 00:41:07,007
(VOCALIZING)
996
00:41:09,260 --> 00:41:11,137
(LAUGHING AND CHEERING)
997
00:41:17,560 --> 00:41:18,811
What a night!
998
00:41:19,019 --> 00:41:21,063
(SHIVERS) It's nothing
but ice out there.
999
00:41:21,272 --> 00:41:23,774
Well, come inside.
Warm yourself.
1000
00:41:23,983 --> 00:41:27,278
Here, take my musket
and ammunition while
I pour myself a drink.
1001
00:41:27,486 --> 00:41:30,531
(GASPS) My God!
Your balls are frozen!
1002
00:41:30,739 --> 00:41:33,284
It must be ten
below out there.
1003
00:41:33,492 --> 00:41:34,952
(GASPS) But you're all right.
1004
00:41:36,454 --> 00:41:37,955
My brave soldier.
1005
00:41:38,164 --> 00:41:40,082
(GRUNTS) Not so fast
with the encomiums!
1006
00:41:40,291 --> 00:41:42,751
(PLASTIC CUP CLATTERS)
1007
00:41:42,960 --> 00:41:44,378
(WHISPERS) Encomiums.
Encomiums?
1008
00:41:44,587 --> 00:41:46,839
We stood there all night,
but the British never came.
1009
00:41:47,047 --> 00:41:48,424
(SHUDDERING)
1010
00:41:48,632 --> 00:41:50,259
I'm not the man
you think I am.
1011
00:41:50,468 --> 00:41:51,760
But you are.
1012
00:41:53,345 --> 00:41:55,222
- Go on.
- (PIANO PLAYING)
1013
00:41:55,431 --> 00:41:58,309
♪ You are me in pants
1014
00:41:58,517 --> 00:42:01,687
♪ And you are me in a dress
1015
00:42:02,771 --> 00:42:05,858
♪ It fits a bit askance
1016
00:42:06,066 --> 00:42:09,695
♪ I've tried it on, I confess
1017
00:42:10,738 --> 00:42:13,532
VIOLET:
♪ We met so awfully cute
1018
00:42:13,741 --> 00:42:18,037
♪ And you were ripe and curvy
1019
00:42:18,245 --> 00:42:21,582
♪ You brought me a crown
of citrus fruit
1020
00:42:21,790 --> 00:42:25,669
♪ Which I hoped would cure
your scurvy
1021
00:42:29,423 --> 00:42:33,552
♪ It's a love, love
Love revolution
1022
00:42:33,761 --> 00:42:37,640
♪ In a revolutionary time
1023
00:42:37,848 --> 00:42:41,143
♪ You are like no other
1024
00:42:41,352 --> 00:42:44,688
♪ Because you are my brother
1025
00:42:44,897 --> 00:42:46,148
♪ But that's no crime
1026
00:42:46,357 --> 00:42:47,816
- ♪ Not yet
- ♪ Thank God
1027
00:42:48,025 --> 00:42:49,026
♪ Lafayette!
1028
00:42:49,235 --> 00:42:53,197
♪ It's a love, love
Love revolution
1029
00:42:53,405 --> 00:42:56,951
♪ In a revolutionary time
1030
00:42:57,159 --> 00:42:58,327
(BOTH GASP)
1031
00:43:05,167 --> 00:43:08,254
♪ We'll raise cows and pigs
1032
00:43:08,462 --> 00:43:12,716
♪ And get honey from a hive
1033
00:43:13,384 --> 00:43:16,095
♪ We'll have 14 kids
1034
00:43:16,303 --> 00:43:20,391
♪ And hope that three
will survive
1035
00:43:20,599 --> 00:43:22,476
♪ It's a war-torn time
1036
00:43:22,685 --> 00:43:29,024
♪ And I'm smelling you
And I want to rip
your threads off
1037
00:43:29,233 --> 00:43:31,610
♪ Let's have sex a lot
1038
00:43:31,819 --> 00:43:33,737
♪ Before the British
1039
00:43:33,946 --> 00:43:36,699
♪ Blow our heads off
1040
00:43:44,039 --> 00:43:48,043
♪ It's a love, love
Love revolution
1041
00:43:48,252 --> 00:43:51,880
♪ In a revolutionary time
1042
00:43:52,089 --> 00:43:56,093
♪ It's a love, love
Love revolution
1043
00:43:56,302 --> 00:43:58,762
♪ In a revolutionary ti--
1044
00:43:58,971 --> 00:44:02,349
♪ Ha-ha-ha-ha! Ha-ha-ha-ha!
Ha-ha-ha-hime! ♪
1045
00:44:02,558 --> 00:44:05,853
(VOCALIZING CONTINUES)
1046
00:44:13,652 --> 00:44:14,528
- (GUNSHOT)
- (MUSIC STOPS)
1047
00:44:14,737 --> 00:44:17,781
- (AUDIENCE APPLAUDS)
- TAYLOR: All right. Hold tight, everyone.
1048
00:44:17,990 --> 00:44:21,785
We have a quick costume
change, and next up,
the Industrial Revolution.
1049
00:44:21,994 --> 00:44:23,078
(PEN SCRATCHING)
1050
00:44:23,287 --> 00:44:25,122
Hey, can I borrow your pen?
1051
00:44:25,331 --> 00:44:26,790
Sure. Why?
1052
00:44:27,416 --> 00:44:28,917
Advisory committee. (CHUCKLES)
1053
00:44:29,126 --> 00:44:30,044
Okay...
1054
00:44:32,504 --> 00:44:35,007
Well, here we are. 1891.
1055
00:44:35,215 --> 00:44:39,094
Did you hear about
the new sport that this
Dr. James Naismith created?
1056
00:44:39,303 --> 00:44:40,971
(CHUCKLES)
It'll never catch on.
1057
00:44:41,180 --> 00:44:43,474
- What's it called?
- Basketball.
1058
00:44:43,682 --> 00:44:45,142
(ALL LAUGH)
1059
00:44:45,351 --> 00:44:46,477
CARL: I had an idea today.
1060
00:44:46,685 --> 00:44:48,437
- For an invention.
- What is it?
1061
00:44:48,646 --> 00:44:51,607
A machine that would wash
your dinner dishes
automatically.
1062
00:44:51,815 --> 00:44:53,525
That's a wonderful idea!
1063
00:44:53,734 --> 00:44:55,819
I'll build the factory
here in Stars Hollow.
1064
00:44:56,028 --> 00:44:59,323
- We'll be rich!
- As long as the workers
stay complacent.
1065
00:44:59,531 --> 00:45:00,824
And non-rhythmic.
1066
00:45:01,033 --> 00:45:02,618
(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)
Yo, yo, yo! Not so fast!
1067
00:45:02,826 --> 00:45:04,244
- Wait a second.
- I say!
1068
00:45:04,453 --> 00:45:06,288
Let me tell you
what I'm talking about.
1069
00:45:06,497 --> 00:45:07,414
Oy vey...
1070
00:45:07,623 --> 00:45:11,377
♪ Hey, yo! Look, I'm rappin'
Just like Hamilton on Broadway
1071
00:45:11,585 --> 00:45:13,712
♪ This is an odd way
To tell the town story
1072
00:45:13,921 --> 00:45:15,130
♪ Depict the town glory
1073
00:45:15,339 --> 00:45:17,675
♪ And get you to follow me
To Stars Hollow, see
1074
00:45:17,883 --> 00:45:19,802
- No, no.
- ♪ Magnetic, yo!
1075
00:45:20,010 --> 00:45:21,095
♪ I'm just like Magneto
1076
00:45:21,303 --> 00:45:23,806
♪ Last night I held a meeting
Underneath the town gazebo
1077
00:45:24,014 --> 00:45:25,849
♪ We had sandwiches
And talked all night
1078
00:45:26,058 --> 00:45:28,602
♪ And at the end we all voted
to "Strike! Strike!"
1079
00:45:28,811 --> 00:45:30,979
♪ Young man, you must know
This will ruin Stars Hollow
1080
00:45:31,188 --> 00:45:33,607
♪ And for me, all your rapping
Is kind of hard to follow
1081
00:45:33,816 --> 00:45:35,734
♪ Yeah, Lin-Manuel
Had to deal with this
1082
00:45:35,943 --> 00:45:38,821
♪ Give it time, just trust
Your ears will adjust
1083
00:45:39,029 --> 00:45:41,657
♪ You gave me the mic
And I'm gonna rock it
1084
00:45:43,409 --> 00:45:45,077
(SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING)
1085
00:45:45,285 --> 00:45:51,583
♪ The world is
a terrible place
1086
00:45:51,792 --> 00:45:56,046
♪ There's junk mail
and terrorism
1087
00:45:56,255 --> 00:45:58,966
♪ Tiny airplane seats
1088
00:45:59,508 --> 00:46:03,137
♪ New weird viruses
Really small print
1089
00:46:03,345 --> 00:46:05,639
♪ And tank tops
1090
00:46:05,848 --> 00:46:09,727
♪ Anything by Jeff Koons
1091
00:46:09,935 --> 00:46:11,812
♪ Spam!
1092
00:46:12,020 --> 00:46:13,522
♪ Not the food
1093
00:46:14,773 --> 00:46:17,860
♪ Man-buns!
1094
00:46:18,068 --> 00:46:22,114
- ♪ Those Occupy...
- BOTH: ♪ Radicals!
1095
00:46:22,322 --> 00:46:26,785
♪ What restaurants
charge for wine
1096
00:46:28,912 --> 00:46:30,789
- ♪ And Putin
- ♪ And Putin
1097
00:46:30,998 --> 00:46:32,583
- ♪ And Putin
- ♪ And Putin
1098
00:46:32,791 --> 00:46:36,754
♪ And Pu-Pu-Pu-Pu-Putin
1099
00:46:38,714 --> 00:46:44,678
♪ What's there not to love
About the town
of Stars Hollow?
1100
00:46:44,887 --> 00:46:46,764
♪ With its twinkle lights
1101
00:46:46,972 --> 00:46:48,390
♪ Friendly people
1102
00:46:48,599 --> 00:46:52,060
♪ Ample parking
and historic steeple
1103
00:46:52,269 --> 00:46:54,938
♪ Our sunsets are the best
1104
00:46:55,147 --> 00:46:58,942
♪ The kids are just adorable
1105
00:46:59,151 --> 00:47:01,653
♪ Our sewer system's new
1106
00:47:01,862 --> 00:47:04,656
♪ Our leash laws
are enforceable
1107
00:47:04,865 --> 00:47:07,868
♪ So what's there not to love
1108
00:47:08,076 --> 00:47:15,167
♪ About the town
of Stars Hollow
Hollow, Hollow, Hollow
1109
00:47:15,375 --> 00:47:16,752
♪ Hollow, Hollow,
Hollow, Hollow
1110
00:47:16,960 --> 00:47:18,712
♪ Hollow, Hollow,
Hollow, Hollow
1111
00:47:18,921 --> 00:47:20,214
(TAPPING)
1112
00:47:22,049 --> 00:47:23,634
No. Come on.
1113
00:47:24,218 --> 00:47:26,386
DONALD: Lorelai,
what is your problem?
1114
00:47:26,595 --> 00:47:28,222
What's next, a kickline?
1115
00:47:30,140 --> 00:47:31,308
No. No.
1116
00:47:32,810 --> 00:47:34,228
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
1117
00:47:34,436 --> 00:47:36,230
I'm Nostradamus.
1118
00:47:46,907 --> 00:47:49,785
♪ There's everything to love
1119
00:47:49,993 --> 00:47:52,746
♪ About the town of
1120
00:47:52,955 --> 00:47:56,542
♪ Stars Hollow
1121
00:47:56,750 --> 00:48:00,003
♪ Stars Hollow
1122
00:48:00,212 --> 00:48:04,049
♪ Stars Hollow! ♪
1123
00:48:06,176 --> 00:48:07,135
(MUSIC STOPS)
1124
00:48:07,344 --> 00:48:09,471
(ALL CHEERING)
1125
00:48:09,680 --> 00:48:11,431
(DONALD CHUCKLES)
1126
00:48:13,851 --> 00:48:17,813
Okay. Well, uh...
(CHUCKLES) Wow!
1127
00:48:18,021 --> 00:48:20,983
Where are we gonna meet to go
over this? What's happening?
1128
00:48:21,191 --> 00:48:22,442
- GYPSY: Sit down!
- SOPHIE: Sit down!
1129
00:48:22,651 --> 00:48:23,861
Ooh. Sorry.
1130
00:48:24,903 --> 00:48:25,863
(GASPS)
1131
00:48:26,071 --> 00:48:27,322
(MUSIC PLAYING)
1132
00:48:27,531 --> 00:48:30,993
ALL: ♪ Waterloo,
I was defeated
You won the war
1133
00:48:31,201 --> 00:48:32,369
Oh, no.
1134
00:48:32,578 --> 00:48:33,829
Gotta be kidding me.
1135
00:48:34,037 --> 00:48:38,208
♪ Waterloo
Promise to love you
forevermore ♪
1136
00:48:40,043 --> 00:48:41,003
You're not getting up?
1137
00:48:41,211 --> 00:48:42,170
I guess I am.
1138
00:48:42,421 --> 00:48:44,131
- You're not
gonna clap?
- Yes I am.
1139
00:48:48,260 --> 00:48:49,720
(SARCASTICALLY) Yay.
1140
00:48:51,555 --> 00:48:55,434
(SIGHS) So, this is
the zero hour, people.
1141
00:48:55,642 --> 00:48:56,894
It's been a lot of hard work,
1142
00:48:57,102 --> 00:49:01,523
and Nat and I are
certainly proud of what
we've accomplished thus far.
1143
00:49:01,732 --> 00:49:04,735
But now, I need to hear
from my trusted stable
of advisors,
1144
00:49:04,943 --> 00:49:08,447
and I want the unvarnished
truth, warts and all.
1145
00:49:08,655 --> 00:49:11,283
So hit me with it.
Hold nothing back.
1146
00:49:11,491 --> 00:49:13,160
(INHALES DEEPLY)
We can take it.
1147
00:49:14,870 --> 00:49:16,538
This show is fantastic!
1148
00:49:16,747 --> 00:49:17,789
Ah! I knew it!
1149
00:49:17,998 --> 00:49:21,043
Simba, you've been dethroned.
Bow to the new king.
1150
00:49:21,251 --> 00:49:23,295
It moves. It breathes.
1151
00:49:23,503 --> 00:49:25,964
Add an orchestra, you can
take it straight to Broadway.
1152
00:49:26,173 --> 00:49:28,759
School of Rock.
Bunch of schlock.
This show gets an "A."
1153
00:49:28,967 --> 00:49:31,845
I know nothing about musicals,
but this is a fun musical.
1154
00:49:32,054 --> 00:49:33,555
The book was terrific, too.
1155
00:49:33,764 --> 00:49:36,642
Tevye, move over.
There's a new Jew in town.
1156
00:49:36,850 --> 00:49:39,645
Well, it seems
like we've got unanimity here.
1157
00:49:39,853 --> 00:49:41,021
(CHUCKLES)
1158
00:49:41,229 --> 00:49:42,439
Or do we?
1159
00:49:44,107 --> 00:49:45,233
Hmm?
1160
00:49:45,442 --> 00:49:46,735
You're awfully quiet.
1161
00:49:46,944 --> 00:49:49,237
You've been writing a lot
on your clipboards there.
1162
00:49:49,446 --> 00:49:51,907
Clipboards? You needed more
than one clipboard?
1163
00:49:52,115 --> 00:49:53,367
Hey, Babette was
writing a lot, too.
1164
00:49:53,575 --> 00:49:55,243
I was writing
my funny zingers.
1165
00:49:55,452 --> 00:49:59,873
Hasa diga eebowai,
you Mormon nerds. Audiences
are ringing a new doorbell!
1166
00:50:00,082 --> 00:50:01,375
I got 26 more of these.
1167
00:50:01,583 --> 00:50:04,044
So, I guess we're waiting
for your opinion?
1168
00:50:04,795 --> 00:50:07,714
Right. Well... (CHUCKLES)
1169
00:50:07,923 --> 00:50:12,552
I think... for
a first run-through,
it was... yeah.
1170
00:50:14,012 --> 00:50:15,389
"Yeah" is not an opinion.
1171
00:50:15,597 --> 00:50:18,141
Didn't you think it was
charming? I thought it was.
1172
00:50:18,350 --> 00:50:19,893
I did. I thought
it was charming.
1173
00:50:20,102 --> 00:50:24,022
I, uh, just had
a few questions,
and maybe a few suggestions.
1174
00:50:24,231 --> 00:50:25,565
- Really?
- What's your suggestion?
1175
00:50:25,774 --> 00:50:26,775
Make it less perfect?
1176
00:50:26,984 --> 00:50:29,987
Now, now, people, I asked
for the unvarnished truth.
1177
00:50:30,195 --> 00:50:32,280
Let's hear Lorelai's notes.
Lorelai?
1178
00:50:32,489 --> 00:50:36,284
Okay. (CHUCKLES) So, first,
that opening scene...
1179
00:50:36,493 --> 00:50:39,246
With her black eye,
the whiskey,
the weird whatever it was.
1180
00:50:39,454 --> 00:50:40,455
What was that about?
1181
00:50:40,664 --> 00:50:44,459
The opening scene is
an excerpt from
a play I wrote in college
1182
00:50:44,668 --> 00:50:48,880
that happened to be blessed
by my mentor,
the great Edward Albee.
1183
00:50:49,089 --> 00:50:50,507
- (ALL GASP)
- You may know him
1184
00:50:50,716 --> 00:50:54,636
as the author of a little
something called Who's Afraid
of Virginia Woolf?
1185
00:50:54,845 --> 00:50:56,596
- Impressive.
- Wow.
1186
00:50:56,805 --> 00:50:58,765
- You worked
with Edward Albee?
- TAYLOR: Yes.
1187
00:50:58,974 --> 00:51:02,769
I was at Joe Allen one night,
years ago, and I dropped
the script on Albee's table
1188
00:51:02,978 --> 00:51:05,272
with my phone number
and asked him to call me
with notes.
1189
00:51:05,480 --> 00:51:08,066
Any notes at all that would
make it better than it was.
1190
00:51:08,275 --> 00:51:11,445
And... he never called.
1191
00:51:11,653 --> 00:51:13,030
- (GASPS)
- TOM: Wow!
1192
00:51:13,238 --> 00:51:14,364
Congratulations, Taylor.
1193
00:51:14,573 --> 00:51:18,368
So, Edward Albee's eating
at Joe Allen, you drop
a script at his table,
1194
00:51:18,577 --> 00:51:21,121
he never calls, and that
makes him your mentor?
1195
00:51:21,329 --> 00:51:23,790
You just don't understand
the theater community.
1196
00:51:23,999 --> 00:51:24,624
I guess not.
1197
00:51:24,833 --> 00:51:26,793
I have dinner reservations.
Are you done?
1198
00:51:27,002 --> 00:51:28,295
- What about the rapping?
- What about it?
1199
00:51:28,503 --> 00:51:30,297
- Is this getting racial?
- A little.
1200
00:51:30,505 --> 00:51:33,884
No. No. It's not racial.
Just... Isn't it way
too Hamilton?
1201
00:51:34,092 --> 00:51:35,093
Hamilton's a smash.
1202
00:51:35,302 --> 00:51:36,762
It won a million Tonys.
1203
00:51:36,970 --> 00:51:40,015
It's very popular,
but doesn't that make
what we're doing derivative?
1204
00:51:40,223 --> 00:51:44,853
So, because Hamilton has
rap numbers, no one else
in the world can rap?
1205
00:51:45,062 --> 00:51:48,023
You will be so kind as to let
RZA and Busta Rhymes know
1206
00:51:48,231 --> 00:51:49,733
that they're not allowed
to rap anymore?
1207
00:51:49,941 --> 00:51:51,068
How does he know those names?
1208
00:51:51,276 --> 00:51:53,528
What about
the Civil War number
with the revolving stage?
1209
00:51:53,737 --> 00:51:54,696
What was the point of that?
1210
00:51:54,905 --> 00:51:58,950
Again, Hamilton utilized
a revolving stage and it
worked like gangbusters.
1211
00:51:59,159 --> 00:52:00,494
Ours looked like a lazy Susan.
1212
00:52:00,702 --> 00:52:02,579
Carl and Violet
should dress up as condiments.
1213
00:52:02,788 --> 00:52:05,457
Condiments?
Hmm, Nat, that's something
we should kick around.
1214
00:52:05,665 --> 00:52:06,333
That's not the point.
1215
00:52:06,541 --> 00:52:10,128
That number got a standing O,
and it's one
of Nat's favorites.
1216
00:52:10,337 --> 00:52:11,213
If you want to cut it,
1217
00:52:11,421 --> 00:52:14,091
you'll have to pry it
out of his cold, dead hands.
1218
00:52:14,299 --> 00:52:17,344
I don't think
there's any other way
to pry something from Nat.
1219
00:52:17,552 --> 00:52:20,555
But, to be clear, no one else
is bothered by these detours?
1220
00:52:20,764 --> 00:52:21,681
ALL: No.
1221
00:52:21,890 --> 00:52:22,891
If there's nothing else--
1222
00:52:23,100 --> 00:52:24,226
LORELAI: Sorry, the lead girl.
1223
00:52:24,434 --> 00:52:26,061
- Can we talk about her?
- Who? Violet?
1224
00:52:26,269 --> 00:52:28,021
What do you want?
For her to be less perfect?
1225
00:52:28,230 --> 00:52:29,064
Impossible.
1226
00:52:29,272 --> 00:52:30,315
She was Kinky Boots!
1227
00:52:30,524 --> 00:52:33,360
Just the part she plays.
Her character goes
from scene to scene,
1228
00:52:33,568 --> 00:52:36,154
falling in love with every guy
from a different era.
1229
00:52:36,363 --> 00:52:37,405
So? Sex sells.
1230
00:52:37,614 --> 00:52:38,782
She was Kinky Boots.
1231
00:52:38,990 --> 00:52:41,118
She has sex, like,
26 times in the show!
1232
00:52:41,326 --> 00:52:43,703
That's a lot of friction.
A fire is gonna start
down there.
1233
00:52:43,912 --> 00:52:46,498
- I didn't know you
were such a prude.
- I'm not a prude.
1234
00:52:46,706 --> 00:52:48,250
You counted how
many times she had sex.
1235
00:52:48,458 --> 00:52:49,543
She was Kinky Boots!
1236
00:52:49,751 --> 00:52:51,002
So, everybody
likes her? Violet.
1237
00:52:51,211 --> 00:52:51,920
Ouch.
1238
00:52:52,129 --> 00:52:55,549
Methinks the town stable
has one mare
too many for Lorelai.
1239
00:52:55,757 --> 00:52:57,092
She has a beautiful voice.
1240
00:52:57,300 --> 00:52:59,010
And... she was Kinky Boots!
1241
00:52:59,219 --> 00:53:01,805
Babette, I love you,
but Kinky Boots was
a show, not a character.
1242
00:53:02,013 --> 00:53:03,932
She was in the road show,
not the Broadway show.
1243
00:53:04,141 --> 00:53:06,893
And she wasn't Kinky Boots.
She was Trish,
the factory worker!
1244
00:53:07,102 --> 00:53:08,895
I'm right next to you.
You don't have to yell!
1245
00:53:09,104 --> 00:53:10,856
I'm not yelling.
Am I yelling? (SCOFFS)
1246
00:53:11,064 --> 00:53:12,607
Look, last thing. Abba?
1247
00:53:12,816 --> 00:53:16,820
Ah! Thanks for reminding me.
We all love the Abba songs.
1248
00:53:17,028 --> 00:53:21,116
But my attorney warned me
that doing the nine Abba songs
at the end
1249
00:53:21,324 --> 00:53:23,577
might entangle us
in some messy litigation.
1250
00:53:23,785 --> 00:53:27,706
Now, I've got a call in
to Benny Andersson
and Bjorn Ulvaeus of Abba--
1251
00:53:27,914 --> 00:53:28,915
You have their numbers?
1252
00:53:29,124 --> 00:53:30,709
But have yet to hear back.
1253
00:53:30,917 --> 00:53:34,045
You know, Taylor...
I've written some songs.
Sorry.
1254
00:53:34,254 --> 00:53:35,589
No. No, Sophie, go ahead.
1255
00:53:35,797 --> 00:53:37,215
I've never done
anything with them,
1256
00:53:37,424 --> 00:53:40,260
but you can have them for free
to sing at the end,
if you like.
1257
00:53:40,468 --> 00:53:42,929
Well, that's
very nice, Sophie.
1258
00:53:43,138 --> 00:53:44,389
Are they catchy?
1259
00:53:44,598 --> 00:53:45,599
I could play one for you.
1260
00:53:45,807 --> 00:53:46,808
Please.
1261
00:53:52,564 --> 00:53:55,567
(PLAYING UPBEAT MUSIC)
1262
00:53:55,775 --> 00:53:59,696
♪ I feel the earth move
under my feet
1263
00:53:59,905 --> 00:54:03,658
♪ I feel the sky tumblin' down
A-tumblin' down
1264
00:54:03,867 --> 00:54:05,744
♪ I feel my heart start
to tremble ♪
1265
00:54:05,952 --> 00:54:07,829
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah...
Um... (SIGHS)
1266
00:54:08,038 --> 00:54:09,539
That's not catchy.
1267
00:54:09,748 --> 00:54:11,625
Yeah, you're right. Sorry.
1268
00:54:11,833 --> 00:54:14,794
Honestly, everyone here
is just throwing encomiums
at this thing.
1269
00:54:15,003 --> 00:54:17,088
Mondo encomium!
It's all swell?
1270
00:54:17,297 --> 00:54:18,757
I'm an island? (SCOFFS)
1271
00:54:20,675 --> 00:54:22,177
(SIGHS) Guess I'm an island.
1272
00:54:22,385 --> 00:54:24,679
And I can just make
my reservation.
1273
00:54:38,068 --> 00:54:39,444
- VIOLET: You don't like me.
- (GASPS)
1274
00:54:39,653 --> 00:54:41,488
Oh, you scared me. Violet.
1275
00:54:41,696 --> 00:54:43,198
- You don't like me.
- That's not true.
1276
00:54:43,406 --> 00:54:44,866
- Why?
- (STAMMERS)
1277
00:54:45,075 --> 00:54:48,078
Have you ever performed?
Been in a musical?
Taken this risk?
1278
00:54:48,286 --> 00:54:49,913
No. Well, once.
1279
00:54:50,121 --> 00:54:51,915
I was Lucy in
You're a Good Man,
Charlie Brown.
1280
00:54:52,123 --> 00:54:53,208
I was awful.
1281
00:54:53,416 --> 00:54:54,834
One night, Charlie Brown
kicked me
1282
00:54:55,043 --> 00:54:56,336
instead of the football
and the crowd cheered.
1283
00:54:56,544 --> 00:54:59,589
So I wasn't Kinky Boots,
okay? I was Trish.
It's a featured role.
1284
00:54:59,798 --> 00:55:02,217
- It's a great role.
- Well, I went on a lot.
In Boston.
1285
00:55:02,425 --> 00:55:03,593
Boston's a big-ass town.
1286
00:55:03,802 --> 00:55:05,595
- Uh-huh.
- (SCOFFS) Everybody's a critic.
1287
00:55:05,804 --> 00:55:07,597
- Well, it was my job.
- Mmm, well.
1288
00:55:08,556 --> 00:55:12,227
I got to go.
Opening night's in a week.
Thanks for the doubts.
1289
00:55:12,894 --> 00:55:14,145
You're a terrific tap dancer!
1290
00:55:14,354 --> 00:55:15,855
I don't need your validation!
1291
00:55:16,439 --> 00:55:17,691
It's quite a find.
1292
00:55:17,899 --> 00:55:20,277
It's a hell of a find.
Excuse my language.
1293
00:55:20,485 --> 00:55:21,861
Don't you think, Emily?
1294
00:55:22,070 --> 00:55:24,197
Oh, yes. Yes, quite a find!
1295
00:55:24,406 --> 00:55:27,450
And it was a yard sale.
Not even a thrift shop.
1296
00:55:27,659 --> 00:55:31,746
It was at the bottom of a box,
under an old toaster
and a broken Slinky.
1297
00:55:31,955 --> 00:55:36,459
I'd drop by more yard sales
myself, but you have to step
into people's yards.
1298
00:55:36,668 --> 00:55:39,754
Oh, with
their trampolines and their
"Kiss the Gardener" signs.
1299
00:55:39,963 --> 00:55:43,133
With your approval,
I would like to petition
the national board
1300
00:55:43,341 --> 00:55:45,468
to fund the purchase
of a top-notch display
1301
00:55:45,677 --> 00:55:47,804
for the diaries
of Abigail Franklin.
1302
00:55:48,013 --> 00:55:49,597
After we authenticate
them, right?
1303
00:55:49,806 --> 00:55:50,432
Hmm?
1304
00:55:50,640 --> 00:55:53,852
We can't repeat what happened
with the bogus
Federalist Papers.
1305
00:55:54,060 --> 00:55:56,062
Where the word "Federalist"
was misspelled.
1306
00:55:56,271 --> 00:55:57,939
We stopped
that check just in time.
1307
00:55:58,148 --> 00:56:00,942
Very well, then.
Post-verification.
All in favor?
1308
00:56:01,151 --> 00:56:02,444
(DOORBELL RINGS)
1309
00:56:02,652 --> 00:56:04,988
- Excellent. I'll get
the process started.
- SARAH: Hmm.
1310
00:56:05,196 --> 00:56:07,991
Emily, these puffs...
Are they crab?
1311
00:56:08,199 --> 00:56:09,367
Do they taste like crab?
1312
00:56:09,576 --> 00:56:11,077
- I don't know.
- EMILY: Neither do I.
1313
00:56:11,286 --> 00:56:13,330
Berta makes things,
and I just eat them.
1314
00:56:13,538 --> 00:56:15,040
She doesn't tell you
what they are?
1315
00:56:15,248 --> 00:56:16,916
Oh, no, she tells me.
1316
00:56:18,460 --> 00:56:20,962
Oh, my goodness!
Is it three o'clock already?
1317
00:56:21,171 --> 00:56:22,672
- 3:00? I have
a hair appointment.
- Me, too.
1318
00:56:22,881 --> 00:56:25,091
- Same here.
- I guess
the meeting's adjourned.
1319
00:56:25,300 --> 00:56:26,676
- Goodbye, darling.
- Sorry to dash.
1320
00:56:26,885 --> 00:56:28,136
- Lovely meeting, dear.
- EMILY: Mmm-hmm. Thank you.
1321
00:56:31,848 --> 00:56:34,726
Well, this is a surprise.
Did I know you were coming?
1322
00:56:34,934 --> 00:56:37,479
Did I forget?
Have I officially
become an old woman?
1323
00:56:37,687 --> 00:56:40,523
No, not you. Never.
I popped by to see
if you were home.
1324
00:56:41,399 --> 00:56:43,193
BERTA: No, no, no,
Senora Emily--
1325
00:56:43,401 --> 00:56:44,611
(BERTA SPEAKING HER LANGUAGE)
1326
00:56:44,819 --> 00:56:46,529
Berta no know
anything, anything.
1327
00:56:46,738 --> 00:56:49,824
(SPEAKING HER LANGUAGE)
1328
00:56:50,033 --> 00:56:52,077
They're gonna miss
their hair appointments,
1329
00:56:52,285 --> 00:56:53,745
and it's all their fault.
1330
00:56:54,371 --> 00:56:55,872
- Uh, Grandma...
- Yes?
1331
00:56:56,081 --> 00:56:57,582
There's a TV in here.
1332
00:56:57,791 --> 00:57:00,418
Yes, there is. So would you
like something to eat?
1333
00:57:00,627 --> 00:57:03,797
I have Berta puffs from today
and some mystery soup
from last night.
1334
00:57:04,005 --> 00:57:05,006
No, I'm fine.
1335
00:57:05,215 --> 00:57:07,467
Grandma, why is
there a TV in here?
1336
00:57:07,675 --> 00:57:11,471
One of Berta's cousins heard
me talking about a live opera
that was coming on,
1337
00:57:11,679 --> 00:57:13,056
and it was during dinnertime,
1338
00:57:13,264 --> 00:57:14,974
so they brought it down
and set it up for me.
1339
00:57:15,183 --> 00:57:17,268
- You ate in the living room?
- Yes.
1340
00:57:17,477 --> 00:57:19,145
On this?
It's a Duncan Phyfe!
1341
00:57:19,354 --> 00:57:21,356
I didn't eat on
the coffee table.
1342
00:57:21,564 --> 00:57:23,024
They set this up for me.
1343
00:57:23,233 --> 00:57:24,692
(STAMMERS) Am I being punk'd?
1344
00:57:24,901 --> 00:57:26,027
You're being dramatic.
1345
00:57:26,277 --> 00:57:29,697
(SIGHS) Grandma,
have you been getting out
of the house at all?
1346
00:57:29,906 --> 00:57:31,533
Of course I have.
I'm not a shut-in.
1347
00:57:31,908 --> 00:57:33,868
I mean socializing.
Not just running errands.
1348
00:57:34,077 --> 00:57:35,537
Are you getting
together with people?
1349
00:57:35,745 --> 00:57:36,996
I was just with the girls.
1350
00:57:37,205 --> 00:57:39,999
I don't mean DAR meetings.
Have you been doing
anything fun?
1351
00:57:40,208 --> 00:57:41,501
Yes, I'm full of fun.
1352
00:57:41,709 --> 00:57:43,253
You were asleep
at noon the other day.
1353
00:57:43,461 --> 00:57:44,170
So?
1354
00:57:44,379 --> 00:57:46,756
It's not like you.
Do you go to the club?
1355
00:57:46,965 --> 00:57:48,341
You and Grandpa
used to love the club.
1356
00:57:48,550 --> 00:57:50,718
I'm not even sure if
my membership is up-to-date.
1357
00:57:50,927 --> 00:57:52,846
- Well, renew it.
- Why?
1358
00:57:53,054 --> 00:57:55,974
You're too young to be
eating in front of a TV,
watching Matlock.
1359
00:57:56,182 --> 00:57:57,350
Matlock isn't on anymore.
1360
00:57:57,559 --> 00:57:58,643
It's in repeats.
1361
00:57:59,144 --> 00:58:02,147
I'm watching PBS, not Matlock.
I'm not 90.
1362
00:58:02,355 --> 00:58:03,106
That's my point.
1363
00:58:03,314 --> 00:58:06,609
Maybe you should go out
at night, mingle, dance
a little, have fun.
1364
00:58:06,818 --> 00:58:08,862
(BERTA SPEAKING
INDISTINCTLY AND LAUGHING)
1365
00:58:10,822 --> 00:58:12,615
I should go save the ladies.
1366
00:58:12,824 --> 00:58:15,618
Berta, they have to go.
They all have
hair appointments.
1367
00:58:15,827 --> 00:58:18,079
We had a debate about
Andy Griffith. Alive or dead?
1368
00:58:18,288 --> 00:58:19,956
Then we finished off
the finger sandwiches.
1369
00:58:20,165 --> 00:58:23,751
Something must have
gotten through, because
she actually e-mailed me.
1370
00:58:23,960 --> 00:58:25,170
First contact in ages.
1371
00:58:25,378 --> 00:58:26,796
She said she would.
What's it about?
1372
00:58:27,005 --> 00:58:29,174
Something fun.
Your grandfather's gravestone.
1373
00:58:29,382 --> 00:58:30,842
Why would she e-mail you
about that?
1374
00:58:31,050 --> 00:58:32,469
There's a new one on the way.
1375
00:58:32,677 --> 00:58:33,803
What happened to the old one?
1376
00:58:34,012 --> 00:58:36,055
You mean "ones."
Um... Let's see.
1377
00:58:36,264 --> 00:58:38,391
The first one had
the Longfellow quote right,
1378
00:58:38,600 --> 00:58:40,894
but without attribution
to Longfellow. Got chucked.
1379
00:58:41,102 --> 00:58:42,645
The second one
had the attribution,
1380
00:58:42,854 --> 00:58:45,273
but she wanted a dash
preceding it. Got chucked.
1381
00:58:45,482 --> 00:58:48,401
The third one fell off
the delivery truck.
That's not on her.
1382
00:58:48,610 --> 00:58:50,528
The fourth one had
the dash and the Longfellow,
1383
00:58:50,737 --> 00:58:53,656
but no quotation marks
around the quote. Got chucked.
1384
00:58:53,865 --> 00:58:55,366
This is number five.
1385
00:58:55,575 --> 00:58:56,951
Does she want us to proof it?
1386
00:58:57,160 --> 00:58:59,579
I don't know, Rory.
She just wants us there.
1387
00:58:59,787 --> 00:59:00,997
Okay. So we'll go.
1388
00:59:01,956 --> 00:59:04,209
Right? Mom?
Grandma asked us.
1389
00:59:04,417 --> 00:59:06,836
- We haven't visited
the grave in a while.
- I know.
1390
00:59:07,045 --> 00:59:08,588
(SIGHS) I'm worried about her.
1391
00:59:08,796 --> 00:59:10,632
Okay. Fine. We'll go.
1392
00:59:10,840 --> 00:59:12,133
TV tray in the living room.
1393
00:59:12,342 --> 00:59:13,801
Is what I originally
named you.
1394
00:59:14,010 --> 00:59:15,386
- Bye.
- Bye.
1395
00:59:18,473 --> 00:59:20,642
(PHONE RINGING)
1396
00:59:21,935 --> 00:59:23,102
Rory Gilmore.
1397
00:59:24,103 --> 00:59:24,979
Yes, thank you.
1398
00:59:25,188 --> 00:59:28,274
We've gotten positive feedback
for putting the poem
back on the cover.
1399
00:59:28,483 --> 00:59:29,776
They are inspiring.
1400
00:59:30,485 --> 00:59:33,488
Yes, I'd say we don't have
our heads up our backsides
anymore.
1401
00:59:33,696 --> 00:59:35,490
Uh-huh.
Thanks for calling.
1402
00:59:38,451 --> 00:59:39,786
(SIGHS)
1403
00:59:42,121 --> 00:59:43,331
(DOOR OPENS)
1404
00:59:43,873 --> 00:59:45,500
- JESS: No cigar?
- (DOOR CLOSES)
1405
00:59:47,126 --> 00:59:49,128
I pictured you
chomping a fat cigar.
1406
00:59:49,671 --> 00:59:51,047
Doctor told me to cut back.
1407
00:59:53,049 --> 00:59:56,469
Esther, Charlie, this is Jess.
He's Luke Danes' nephew.
1408
00:59:56,970 --> 00:59:57,845
Hello.
1409
00:59:58,054 --> 01:00:00,306
I remember you, punk.
1410
01:00:00,515 --> 01:00:02,100
Good to see you again, Esther.
1411
01:00:03,101 --> 01:00:04,811
You, too.
What's it been? Four years?
1412
01:00:05,019 --> 01:00:06,813
Maybe more.
When did you get in?
1413
01:00:07,021 --> 01:00:09,774
Just now. I'm meeting Luke.
We've got Mom
maintenance to do.
1414
01:00:09,983 --> 01:00:12,527
You hear she and T.J.
accidentally joined some cult?
1415
01:00:12,735 --> 01:00:14,195
And that vegetables
were involved.
1416
01:00:14,404 --> 01:00:16,155
And an eight-million-year
contract.
1417
01:00:16,364 --> 01:00:17,282
I heard it was six.
1418
01:00:17,490 --> 01:00:20,535
As editor of the Gazette,
you have better sources
than me, Mr. Roundbottom.
1419
01:00:21,202 --> 01:00:22,245
What?
1420
01:00:24,080 --> 01:00:24,831
Oh.
1421
01:00:25,039 --> 01:00:26,958
Can't wait to hear
how you got the job.
1422
01:00:27,166 --> 01:00:28,501
It was the usual thing.
1423
01:00:28,710 --> 01:00:30,670
I submitted my resume,
plus samples of my work,
1424
01:00:30,878 --> 01:00:33,590
I was thoroughly vetted,
there were several interviews.
1425
01:00:33,798 --> 01:00:37,552
Plus complex negotiations
over salary,
benefits, parking.
1426
01:00:37,760 --> 01:00:39,387
- You asked Taylor?
- Pretty much.
1427
01:00:44,100 --> 01:00:45,685
I don't want him
to see me like this.
1428
01:00:46,603 --> 01:00:47,937
- It's good to see you.
- You, too.
1429
01:00:48,146 --> 01:00:49,647
- How about some lunch?
- Sure.
1430
01:00:52,233 --> 01:00:53,526
Very Lou Grant.
1431
01:00:54,193 --> 01:00:56,237
Last time I checked,
grain was a food group.
1432
01:00:59,866 --> 01:01:00,825
Bottoms up.
1433
01:01:01,034 --> 01:01:02,327
Roundbottoms up.
1434
01:01:05,788 --> 01:01:07,040
How are you?
1435
01:01:07,248 --> 01:01:08,833
Luke says the book press
is going great.
1436
01:01:09,042 --> 01:01:09,959
It's doing okay.
1437
01:01:10,168 --> 01:01:11,628
So Dave Eggers is
shaking in his boots?
1438
01:01:11,836 --> 01:01:14,839
(CHUCKLES) If Dave Eggers
even knows we exist,
I'd be happy.
1439
01:01:15,048 --> 01:01:16,716
And in other stuff?
Personal life?
1440
01:01:16,924 --> 01:01:19,510
Stable. Nothing permanent.
What about you?
1441
01:01:19,719 --> 01:01:20,928
Oh, damn.
1442
01:01:21,888 --> 01:01:23,389
(SIGHS)
1443
01:01:24,098 --> 01:01:26,059
Did you just write
"break up with P"?
1444
01:01:26,267 --> 01:01:28,311
- How about a second course?
- (PHONE RINGING)
1445
01:01:28,519 --> 01:01:29,646
Esther, would you get that?
1446
01:01:29,854 --> 01:01:31,606
I'm filing something.
1447
01:01:31,814 --> 01:01:33,941
You've been filing
that same piece of paper
for a long time.
1448
01:01:34,150 --> 01:01:36,694
When you started,
Nora Ephron felt good
about her neck.
1449
01:01:36,903 --> 01:01:38,988
- (RINGING STOPS)
- Do you still want me
to get it?
1450
01:01:39,197 --> 01:01:42,033
No. (SIGHS)
I could've been a contender.
1451
01:01:42,241 --> 01:01:43,951
- You're still a contender.
- Oh yeah?
1452
01:01:45,995 --> 01:01:47,789
I'm broke.
Busted.
1453
01:01:48,247 --> 01:01:50,833
Beggared.
I have no apartment. No car.
1454
01:01:51,042 --> 01:01:52,752
My license expired
three months ago.
1455
01:01:52,960 --> 01:01:53,920
Get out of here.
1456
01:01:54,128 --> 01:01:56,964
Everything I own is in boxes
in three different states.
1457
01:01:57,173 --> 01:02:00,009
I have no job.
I have no credit.
I have no underwear.
1458
01:02:00,218 --> 01:02:01,636
- What?
- I can't find that box!
1459
01:02:01,844 --> 01:02:02,804
Buy some new ones.
1460
01:02:03,012 --> 01:02:04,389
Are you listening? I'm broke.
1461
01:02:04,597 --> 01:02:05,765
I'll lend you the money.
1462
01:02:05,973 --> 01:02:07,684
This isn't about you
lending me money.
1463
01:02:07,892 --> 01:02:09,602
This is about my life!
1464
01:02:09,811 --> 01:02:11,396
People come up and smell me.
1465
01:02:11,604 --> 01:02:13,231
(SCOFFS)
And what are they smelling?
1466
01:02:13,439 --> 01:02:16,442
Failure. Headmaster Charleston
told me to go get my master's
1467
01:02:16,651 --> 01:02:19,153
so that I can teach
at Chilton. He could smell it.
1468
01:02:19,362 --> 01:02:21,656
I went and interviewed
at a website that I hate.
1469
01:02:21,864 --> 01:02:23,366
They passed.
They can smell it.
1470
01:02:23,574 --> 01:02:24,742
No one's smelling anything.
1471
01:02:24,951 --> 01:02:26,744
Maybe Paris will
let me be a surrogate.
1472
01:02:26,953 --> 01:02:28,871
- She's always liked my teeth.
- Slow down.
1473
01:02:29,080 --> 01:02:30,748
It's probably too late.
I've aged out.
1474
01:02:30,957 --> 01:02:33,960
Stop. This is a rut.
It's temporary.
1475
01:02:34,168 --> 01:02:35,211
Or not.
1476
01:02:35,420 --> 01:02:37,380
You're a writer.
Ruts are normal.
1477
01:02:37,588 --> 01:02:39,507
My friend Doyle's
a Hollywood writer now.
1478
01:02:39,716 --> 01:02:41,884
He's always telling me
to write a spec script.
1479
01:02:42,093 --> 01:02:43,177
You're not writing
a spec script.
1480
01:02:43,386 --> 01:02:46,222
He gave me a copy of
The Mysteries of Laura.
Is that a show?
1481
01:02:46,431 --> 01:02:49,058
You need to write something
that you're passionate about.
1482
01:02:49,267 --> 01:02:52,979
What is that foreign concept
you speak of? "Passion"?
Is that really a thing?
1483
01:02:53,187 --> 01:02:56,607
Find the thing that makes
you feel, so that
your readers feel it.
1484
01:02:56,816 --> 01:02:57,734
What makes you feel?
1485
01:02:57,942 --> 01:02:59,235
Did I tell you
I lost my wallet?
1486
01:03:02,238 --> 01:03:03,281
You should write a book.
1487
01:03:03,489 --> 01:03:05,658
Ugh, thanks for the Naomi
Shropshire flashbacks.
1488
01:03:05,867 --> 01:03:06,743
Lovely.
1489
01:03:06,951 --> 01:03:08,953
- I know what you should write.
- (SIGHS) What?
1490
01:03:09,162 --> 01:03:10,788
Write about you and your mom.
1491
01:03:11,581 --> 01:03:13,207
- What?
- It's a cool story.
1492
01:03:13,416 --> 01:03:16,127
It's got a point of view. It's
something only you can write.
1493
01:03:18,546 --> 01:03:19,547
Think about it.
1494
01:03:22,300 --> 01:03:23,509
I gotta go.
1495
01:03:26,637 --> 01:03:27,764
Thanks for lunch.
1496
01:04:24,445 --> 01:04:26,906
- Thanks, guys.
Looks great.
- Okay.
1497
01:04:28,449 --> 01:04:29,909
(DOORBELL RINGS)
1498
01:04:31,035 --> 01:04:32,829
(IN BERTA'S LANGUAGE)
1499
01:04:33,037 --> 01:04:33,996
Hi.
1500
01:04:47,385 --> 01:04:48,761
- Thank you.
- Uh-huh.
1501
01:04:49,679 --> 01:04:51,222
Hi, sorry I'm late.
1502
01:04:53,516 --> 01:04:54,267
Hello.
1503
01:04:54,475 --> 01:04:55,434
Hello, there.
1504
01:04:55,643 --> 01:04:57,144
Jack, this is
my daughter, Lorelai.
1505
01:04:57,353 --> 01:04:58,855
Lorelai, this is Jack Smith.
1506
01:04:59,605 --> 01:05:00,898
- Hi. Oh.
- (CHUCKLES)
1507
01:05:01,107 --> 01:05:02,900
- Nice to meet you.
- We've met.
1508
01:05:03,109 --> 01:05:04,193
- Have we?
- Mmm-hmm.
1509
01:05:04,402 --> 01:05:06,279
At Richard's service.
Jack spoke.
1510
01:05:06,487 --> 01:05:07,738
I was a good friend
of your father's.
1511
01:05:07,947 --> 01:05:10,074
Spent many an hour with him
on the golf course.
1512
01:05:10,283 --> 01:05:12,159
- Great man.
- Mmm. Yes.
1513
01:05:12,368 --> 01:05:14,203
He was a golf player.
Great.
1514
01:05:14,412 --> 01:05:16,789
- He was a great golf man.
- Sit down, ladies.
1515
01:05:16,998 --> 01:05:17,999
(LORELAI CLEARS THROAT)
1516
01:05:18,207 --> 01:05:21,127
I made a pitcher of gimlets
with a vodka...
1517
01:05:21,335 --> 01:05:24,046
I brought back from Russia.
It's wonderful.
1518
01:05:24,255 --> 01:05:26,799
- Want to try some?
(CHUCKLES)
- Sure.
1519
01:05:28,718 --> 01:05:29,927
Rory didn't come with you?
1520
01:05:30,469 --> 01:05:31,637
- Lorelai?
- Me?
1521
01:05:31,846 --> 01:05:33,097
Yes, you.
1522
01:05:33,306 --> 01:05:35,641
(STAMMERS) Uh,
she's coming separately.
1523
01:05:35,850 --> 01:05:38,352
Jack has offered
to drive us all
to the cemetery.
1524
01:05:38,561 --> 01:05:39,604
How nice of him.
1525
01:05:39,812 --> 01:05:42,315
Well, it's a hard day.
You know, I just want to help.
1526
01:05:42,523 --> 01:05:44,567
Here you are, ladies.
Enjoy.
1527
01:05:44,775 --> 01:05:46,611
- Thank you, Jack.
- (JACK CHUCKLES)
1528
01:05:46,819 --> 01:05:49,155
So, who are you?
(CHUCKLES) I...
1529
01:05:49,363 --> 01:05:51,616
Or, what, where, how do...
1530
01:05:51,824 --> 01:05:53,117
What do you do, Jack?
1531
01:05:53,326 --> 01:05:56,203
Well, I'm mostly retired.
Venture capital.
1532
01:05:56,412 --> 01:05:58,998
I go into the office every now
and then. They hide from me.
1533
01:05:59,206 --> 01:06:00,416
(ALL CHUCKLE)
1534
01:06:00,625 --> 01:06:03,878
And what is the...
the... but...
1535
01:06:04,086 --> 01:06:06,005
the... the blank...
1536
01:06:06,213 --> 01:06:07,298
blank...
1537
01:06:07,506 --> 01:06:08,549
Yes?
1538
01:06:08,758 --> 01:06:10,051
Uh, it just flew out
of my head.
1539
01:06:10,259 --> 01:06:11,344
Is your drink all right?
1540
01:06:11,552 --> 01:06:13,638
Oh, yeah. It's very gimlety.
1541
01:06:13,846 --> 01:06:17,183
I'm thirsty. Parched.
I'm gonna grab
some sparkling water.
1542
01:06:17,391 --> 01:06:18,976
- Ah, I'll get it.
- Oh, no, that's okay.
1543
01:06:19,185 --> 01:06:21,812
You stay there, Jack. I'll,
um, bring some for all of us.
1544
01:06:22,021 --> 01:06:23,981
- You'll be right back?
- I'll be right back.
1545
01:06:28,986 --> 01:06:31,238
(CELL PHONE VIBRATING)
1546
01:06:31,447 --> 01:06:32,907
- Hello?
- LORELAI: Where are you?
1547
01:06:33,115 --> 01:06:35,576
Oh, hey. I'm at the Gazette.
I lost track of time.
1548
01:06:35,785 --> 01:06:38,329
Stop the presses, because
I've got your new lead story.
1549
01:06:38,537 --> 01:06:39,622
What are you talking about?
1550
01:06:39,830 --> 01:06:42,458
Your grandmother better buy
herself a new TV tray.
1551
01:06:42,667 --> 01:06:44,168
- What?
- She has a boyfriend.
1552
01:06:44,377 --> 01:06:45,962
- No.
- Ugh, Jack.
1553
01:06:46,170 --> 01:06:48,005
Jack Smith.
New Daddy Jack.
1554
01:06:48,214 --> 01:06:50,257
I'll put you on speaker.
I have to google something.
1555
01:06:50,466 --> 01:06:52,301
Oh, come on.
He can't be her boyfriend.
1556
01:06:52,510 --> 01:06:55,054
Well, he's struttin'
around like he is.
1557
01:06:55,262 --> 01:06:59,350
Sitting next to her,
all cozy, mixing cocktails
at Dad's drink cart.
1558
01:06:59,558 --> 01:07:01,310
The patio cart or
the living room cart?
1559
01:07:01,519 --> 01:07:02,561
The patio cart.
1560
01:07:02,770 --> 01:07:03,771
Oh well, that's not so bad.
1561
01:07:03,980 --> 01:07:05,314
How is that not so bad?
1562
01:07:05,523 --> 01:07:07,316
The patio cart is
kind of an auxiliary.
1563
01:07:07,525 --> 01:07:09,360
I associate Grandpa
with the living room cart.
1564
01:07:09,568 --> 01:07:13,739
Dad used both carts!
I associate both with
my departed father.
1565
01:07:13,948 --> 01:07:17,159
Oh, great.
There's 54 million
Jack Smiths.
1566
01:07:17,368 --> 01:07:18,285
Of course that's his name.
1567
01:07:18,494 --> 01:07:19,578
Add Connecticut to it.
1568
01:07:19,787 --> 01:07:21,330
Yeah, got it down
to two million.
1569
01:07:21,539 --> 01:07:23,457
Jack is short for John.
Search John Smith.
1570
01:07:23,666 --> 01:07:25,084
Now my phone's
just laughing at me.
1571
01:07:25,292 --> 01:07:26,544
Where does she know him from?
1572
01:07:26,752 --> 01:07:28,045
The club.
1573
01:07:28,254 --> 01:07:29,630
Oh, she went back
to the club?
1574
01:07:29,839 --> 01:07:31,382
And he was at Dad's funeral.
1575
01:07:31,590 --> 01:07:33,342
Dad wasn't even in the ground,
1576
01:07:33,551 --> 01:07:37,430
and Jack was there,
spraying his scent
all over Mom.
1577
01:07:37,638 --> 01:07:40,266
(SIGHS) I am in shock.
Are you in shock?
1578
01:07:40,474 --> 01:07:41,726
Yeah, I'm in shock.
1579
01:07:41,934 --> 01:07:44,812
I thought she'd sworn off
the club. She hasn't been
there in ages.
1580
01:07:45,021 --> 01:07:47,565
Well, I may have
encouraged her to go back.
1581
01:07:47,773 --> 01:07:49,191
- To the club?
- Yes.
1582
01:07:49,400 --> 01:07:50,317
You pimped out my mother?
1583
01:07:50,526 --> 01:07:51,652
I didn't pimp her out.
1584
01:07:51,861 --> 01:07:53,404
She was getting very isolated.
1585
01:07:53,612 --> 01:07:55,698
You sent a vulnerable,
wounded turtle
1586
01:07:55,906 --> 01:07:58,409
into a nest of horny,
gray-haired honey badgers.
1587
01:07:58,617 --> 01:08:00,036
I thought she would play
backgammon!
1588
01:08:00,244 --> 01:08:01,328
Now, thanks to you,
1589
01:08:01,537 --> 01:08:03,831
she's out there sipping
a gimlet with Jack the Zipper.
1590
01:08:04,040 --> 01:08:05,332
You're missing this.
1591
01:08:05,541 --> 01:08:06,876
I told Grandma
I'd meet you at the cemetery.
1592
01:08:07,084 --> 01:08:08,252
I'm working on something.
1593
01:08:08,461 --> 01:08:09,962
Oh, what is it?
1594
01:08:10,171 --> 01:08:11,547
It's a surprise. I...
1595
01:08:11,756 --> 01:08:13,716
I'm excited, but I wanted
to tell you in person.
1596
01:08:13,924 --> 01:08:15,926
Good. I want to hear something
that won't make me queasy.
1597
01:08:16,135 --> 01:08:17,344
- Lorelai.
- I gotta go.
1598
01:08:17,553 --> 01:08:19,597
- Oh, uh, we'll see you later.
- Bye.
1599
01:08:19,805 --> 01:08:21,432
Rory's gonna meet us
at the cemetery.
1600
01:08:22,224 --> 01:08:24,602
- Do you have a problem?
- (CHUCKLES)
1601
01:08:24,810 --> 01:08:27,605
- I mean, who is
this guy, Mom?
- Jack Smith.
1602
01:08:27,813 --> 01:08:29,440
What do you know
about this Jack Smith?
1603
01:08:29,648 --> 01:08:31,817
I know everything.
We've been friends
for 30 years.
1604
01:08:32,026 --> 01:08:33,360
Friends, huh?
1605
01:08:33,569 --> 01:08:35,529
Playing some golf,
sipping bub at the club?
1606
01:08:35,738 --> 01:08:36,822
What are you babbling about?
1607
01:08:37,031 --> 01:08:37,948
You don't know him.
1608
01:08:38,157 --> 01:08:40,159
- Oh, for Pete's sake.
- I mean, what is he after?
1609
01:08:40,367 --> 01:08:41,285
Nothing. Why?
1610
01:08:41,494 --> 01:08:42,661
I ain't saying
he's a gold digger.
1611
01:08:42,870 --> 01:08:43,579
Lorelai--
1612
01:08:43,788 --> 01:08:45,706
Mom, you're a catch.
You're vulnerable.
1613
01:08:45,915 --> 01:08:47,541
- You have money.
- He has more.
1614
01:08:47,750 --> 01:08:49,126
Well, I ain't saying
you're a gold digger.
1615
01:08:49,335 --> 01:08:51,754
Jack is a widower
and we are friends.
1616
01:08:51,962 --> 01:08:54,131
- I can't have friends?
- Of course you can.
1617
01:08:54,340 --> 01:08:55,716
Friends are for
other people, not for me?
1618
01:08:55,925 --> 01:08:58,928
It's just weird to see him
here. I'm processing.
1619
01:08:59,136 --> 01:09:03,849
(SIGHS) Maybe it's good.
Maybe it's good...
that you're moving on.
1620
01:09:04,600 --> 01:09:06,727
Oh, I see.
It's good that I'm moving on
1621
01:09:06,936 --> 01:09:08,938
- because now
I'm someone else's problem.
- What?
1622
01:09:09,146 --> 01:09:12,024
You won't have to worry
about me because now I have
a man in my life.
1623
01:09:12,233 --> 01:09:13,442
I didn't say that.
1624
01:09:13,651 --> 01:09:15,194
You're released from
all responsibility.
1625
01:09:15,402 --> 01:09:16,987
- I didn't--
- You've forgotten
about your father?
1626
01:09:17,196 --> 01:09:18,322
Help me with the segues here.
1627
01:09:18,531 --> 01:09:20,991
I'm not dismissing Richard
by spending time with Jack.
1628
01:09:21,200 --> 01:09:22,827
I'm not just moving on.
1629
01:09:23,035 --> 01:09:25,621
Okay. I didn't... (SIGHS)
1630
01:09:25,830 --> 01:09:30,251
Let's not leave Jack
and the auxiliary cart
waiting out there.
1631
01:09:30,459 --> 01:09:32,169
- Where's Luke today?
- (SIGHS)
1632
01:09:32,378 --> 01:09:33,838
I'm never skipping
breakfast again.
1633
01:09:34,046 --> 01:09:36,298
Is he going to call me
about that real estate we saw?
1634
01:09:36,507 --> 01:09:37,424
What real estate?
1635
01:09:37,633 --> 01:09:41,387
I took that "partner" of yours
to look at potential
franchise locations.
1636
01:09:41,595 --> 01:09:43,430
It was
your father's dying wish.
1637
01:09:43,639 --> 01:09:44,890
He wanted to give Luke
a leg up.
1638
01:09:45,099 --> 01:09:46,350
Luke does not need a leg up.
1639
01:09:46,559 --> 01:09:48,352
I spent half a day with him.
1640
01:09:48,561 --> 01:09:50,980
Nice to know
he doesn't mind wasting
a grieving widow's time.
1641
01:09:51,188 --> 01:09:53,482
- When was this?
- He didn't tell you?
1642
01:09:53,691 --> 01:09:54,859
(STAMMERS) Yes, he did.
1643
01:09:55,067 --> 01:09:56,902
Do you and that partner
of yours even talk?
1644
01:09:57,111 --> 01:09:58,529
Yes, always. Constantly.
1645
01:09:58,737 --> 01:10:00,364
Could have fooled me.
1646
01:10:04,493 --> 01:10:05,452
We need to go.
1647
01:10:06,036 --> 01:10:07,705
Jack, we should be going.
1648
01:10:20,885 --> 01:10:22,386
(LORELAI SIGHS)
1649
01:10:23,637 --> 01:10:25,139
So, that's the honey badger?
1650
01:10:25,347 --> 01:10:26,432
That's him.
1651
01:10:26,640 --> 01:10:28,851
- How was the drive?
- Cologne-scented.
1652
01:10:29,518 --> 01:10:30,936
- Hello, honey.
- Hi, Grandma.
1653
01:10:31,145 --> 01:10:33,439
Jack is gonna wait for us
in the car. Shall we?
1654
01:10:33,647 --> 01:10:35,357
Yeah. Okay.
1655
01:10:45,159 --> 01:10:47,036
I thought we took a left
at the Gundersons.
1656
01:10:47,244 --> 01:10:48,621
I thought it was a right
at the Turners.
1657
01:10:48,829 --> 01:10:50,331
I know the way.
1658
01:10:51,207 --> 01:10:52,458
Stanley.
1659
01:10:52,666 --> 01:10:54,919
Good afternoon,
Mrs. Gilmore and ladies.
1660
01:10:55,127 --> 01:10:57,755
- RORY: Hi.
- Hello. Are we all set here?
1661
01:10:57,963 --> 01:10:59,048
Yes, we are.
1662
01:11:00,633 --> 01:11:02,551
It was newly polished
this morning.
1663
01:11:02,760 --> 01:11:04,428
The coal gray is
just the right shade,
1664
01:11:04,637 --> 01:11:06,388
there's a dash
in front of the Longfellow--
1665
01:11:06,597 --> 01:11:08,599
- There are single
quotation marks.
- Here we go.
1666
01:11:08,807 --> 01:11:11,143
It was supposed to be
double quotation marks.
1667
01:11:11,352 --> 01:11:12,353
Of course it was.
1668
01:11:12,561 --> 01:11:15,022
It was always correct
before this.
Why would you change it?
1669
01:11:15,564 --> 01:11:17,107
I am going to look into this.
1670
01:11:17,316 --> 01:11:20,361
I'm coming with you.
This is ridiculous.
This is the fourth one.
1671
01:11:20,569 --> 01:11:21,779
- Fifth.
- Stay here.
1672
01:11:21,987 --> 01:11:22,821
- Okay.
- Sure.
1673
01:11:23,030 --> 01:11:26,617
STANLEY: We can get someone
on-site to carve them into
double quotation marks.
1674
01:11:26,825 --> 01:11:29,328
EMILY: Five stones
and five mistakes.
What is going on here?
1675
01:11:29,536 --> 01:11:31,455
STANLEY: The third one
did fall off the truck.
1676
01:11:31,664 --> 01:11:33,290
I think the single quotes
look fine.
1677
01:11:33,499 --> 01:11:35,042
Let her have what she wants.
1678
01:11:35,626 --> 01:11:37,378
Grandma's still got
your back, Grandpa.
1679
01:11:38,254 --> 01:11:40,506
Well, this gives me
a chance to fix his flowers.
1680
01:11:43,092 --> 01:11:44,260
You take these.
1681
01:11:45,594 --> 01:11:48,013
So, what do you think
of Queens?
1682
01:11:48,222 --> 01:11:50,307
The monarch or the guys
who are fun to hang out with?
1683
01:11:50,516 --> 01:11:51,725
(CHUCKLES) The borough.
1684
01:11:51,934 --> 01:11:53,435
I've been looking
at apartments.
1685
01:11:53,644 --> 01:11:55,729
I think I'm gonna try Queens.
It's the hot place.
1686
01:11:55,938 --> 01:11:57,398
- What about Brooklyn?
- Brooklyn's done.
1687
01:11:57,606 --> 01:11:58,524
Oh, I'm so behind.
1688
01:11:58,732 --> 01:12:00,067
You get more space in Queens.
1689
01:12:00,276 --> 01:12:02,319
I want a bedroom
and a dedicated writing space,
1690
01:12:02,528 --> 01:12:03,696
especially since--
1691
01:12:03,904 --> 01:12:06,573
Is this the top-secret
Manhattan Project you've
been working on?
1692
01:12:06,782 --> 01:12:09,410
- Could be.
- Ooh, happy news. Tell, tell.
1693
01:12:09,618 --> 01:12:11,745
(CHUCKLES) Well, it's a book.
1694
01:12:11,954 --> 01:12:12,955
- You bought one?
- No.
1695
01:12:13,163 --> 01:12:14,456
- Borrowed one? Burned one?
- No. No.
1696
01:12:14,665 --> 01:12:15,916
I'm writing a book.
1697
01:12:16,125 --> 01:12:17,876
Really?
Nutty Naomi changed her mind?
1698
01:12:18,085 --> 01:12:19,586
Oh, no, I'm writing this solo.
1699
01:12:19,795 --> 01:12:20,796
No crazy collaborators.
1700
01:12:21,005 --> 01:12:22,006
Wow!
1701
01:12:22,214 --> 01:12:23,382
I know, right?
1702
01:12:23,590 --> 01:12:25,134
So, what's it about?
I'm dying to hear.
1703
01:12:25,342 --> 01:12:26,635
Sorry, just an expression.
1704
01:12:26,844 --> 01:12:29,471
- (CHUCKLES)
- Is it a love story? A mystery?
1705
01:12:29,680 --> 01:12:32,850
A feel-good puppy, kitten,
pony, raccoon travel
across country
1706
01:12:33,058 --> 01:12:34,351
to enter a cow
in the county fair story?
1707
01:12:34,560 --> 01:12:35,519
It's non-fiction.
1708
01:12:35,728 --> 01:12:37,938
So is the puppy,
kitten, pony, raccoon,
cow county fair caper.
1709
01:12:38,147 --> 01:12:42,067
No animals, no capers.
It's about me and you.
1710
01:12:44,028 --> 01:12:45,821
- Me and you?
- Yes.
1711
01:12:46,780 --> 01:12:48,198
And do we fight crime?
1712
01:12:48,407 --> 01:12:50,826
(CHUCKLES)
It's about our relationship.
1713
01:12:51,035 --> 01:12:53,662
Our mother-daughter thing.
The friend thing.
1714
01:12:53,871 --> 01:12:57,041
It's our journey,
and the journey you took
before I was born.
1715
01:12:58,208 --> 01:12:59,251
Hmm.
1716
01:13:01,253 --> 01:13:03,630
RORY: Maybe I glossed
over it too much.
1717
01:13:04,173 --> 01:13:05,924
Just... picture this.
1718
01:13:06,133 --> 01:13:07,468
It starts.
1719
01:13:07,676 --> 01:13:09,970
You're 16, you're pregnant.
1720
01:13:10,179 --> 01:13:12,723
You're packing up
to leave Grandma's house.
1721
01:13:12,931 --> 01:13:16,435
It's a riches-to-rags story.
It's got everything.
1722
01:13:16,643 --> 01:13:19,313
Family struggle,
class warfare,
the independent woman thing.
1723
01:13:19,521 --> 01:13:21,565
From there, I'll tell
the story chronologically,
1724
01:13:21,774 --> 01:13:24,651
or jump back and forth a bit.
I haven't decided yet, but--
1725
01:13:24,860 --> 01:13:25,694
No.
1726
01:13:25,903 --> 01:13:27,237
What do you mean, "no"?
1727
01:13:27,446 --> 01:13:28,864
No, I don't want you
to write that.
1728
01:13:29,073 --> 01:13:29,907
You don't understand.
1729
01:13:30,115 --> 01:13:32,076
- Let me pitch it again.
- I get it. No.
1730
01:13:32,284 --> 01:13:34,620
- Why?
- Because it's my life.
1731
01:13:34,828 --> 01:13:37,164
- It's our life.
- You write your side of it.
1732
01:13:37,373 --> 01:13:38,916
- My side.
- Yeah.
1733
01:13:39,124 --> 01:13:41,251
And who would I be talking to?
1734
01:13:41,460 --> 01:13:43,921
(LAUGHS) I don't know,
Mrs. Muir. Find a ghost.
1735
01:13:44,129 --> 01:13:46,465
Mom, come on.
I have to do this.
1736
01:13:46,673 --> 01:13:47,841
You don't have my permission.
1737
01:13:48,050 --> 01:13:49,510
We should go somewhere else.
1738
01:13:49,718 --> 01:13:50,886
The dead don't have ears.
1739
01:13:51,095 --> 01:13:52,262
But there are people
behind us.
1740
01:13:52,471 --> 01:13:53,514
(SIGHS)
1741
01:13:53,722 --> 01:13:55,307
Where is this coming from?
What inspired you?
1742
01:13:55,516 --> 01:13:57,017
I was frustrated.
I was talking to Jess--
1743
01:13:57,226 --> 01:13:58,936
Jess? How the hell
did he get into this?
1744
01:13:59,144 --> 01:14:00,813
- He was here visiting Luke.
- Oh, great.
1745
01:14:01,021 --> 01:14:03,774
I'm looking forward to Jess'
take on me. That's terrific.
1746
01:14:03,982 --> 01:14:05,275
It's not his take on you.
1747
01:14:05,484 --> 01:14:07,152
- Sorry, kid. Write
about something else.
- No.
1748
01:14:07,361 --> 01:14:08,278
Write about
your relationships.
1749
01:14:08,487 --> 01:14:10,364
- You and Jess and Dean.
- They'll be in it, too.
1750
01:14:10,572 --> 01:14:12,866
Don't forget Logan,
the guy you just can't quit.
1751
01:14:13,075 --> 01:14:15,536
- It's not fair.
- It's my life, Rory.
1752
01:14:16,328 --> 01:14:18,622
I went to all this effort
for many, many years,
1753
01:14:18,831 --> 01:14:20,916
making sure people only knew
what I wanted them to.
1754
01:14:21,125 --> 01:14:22,918
Now you're gonna put it
all in a book?
1755
01:14:23,127 --> 01:14:24,378
I don't want
my mother learning
1756
01:14:24,586 --> 01:14:27,005
I left you in a bucket
in a hardware store.
1757
01:14:27,214 --> 01:14:28,048
Are you kidding me?
1758
01:14:28,257 --> 01:14:29,258
You're 32 years old.
1759
01:14:29,466 --> 01:14:31,718
She'll still petition
the court to have you
taken away.
1760
01:14:31,927 --> 01:14:33,637
This is such an overreaction.
1761
01:14:33,846 --> 01:14:37,307
Really? Do you know that
your grandmother called you
Susan until you were two?
1762
01:14:37,516 --> 01:14:38,392
She did not.
1763
01:14:38,600 --> 01:14:40,686
Write a book about that,
a woman who leaves a baby
1764
01:14:40,894 --> 01:14:42,938
in a bucket and her own mother
takes her to court.
1765
01:14:43,147 --> 01:14:45,524
It's a perfect Lifetime movie.
Maggie Smith can play
the mother.
1766
01:14:45,732 --> 01:14:46,650
Mom, come on.
1767
01:14:46,859 --> 01:14:48,318
You didn't think this
through, kid.
1768
01:14:48,527 --> 01:14:51,989
No, I did think this through.
I am not a kid.
This was not a whim.
1769
01:14:52,197 --> 01:14:55,075
Last night I outlined
the first five chapters
just like that.
1770
01:14:55,284 --> 01:14:56,910
- That's a sign.
- What sign?
1771
01:14:57,119 --> 01:14:59,121
That this is it. This is what
I am supposed to do.
1772
01:14:59,329 --> 01:15:00,539
- No.
- (RORY SIGHS)
1773
01:15:00,747 --> 01:15:02,749
I'm sorry. I have to.
1774
01:15:02,958 --> 01:15:06,587
Without this, it's grad school
or groveling for jobs
that I don't want.
1775
01:15:06,795 --> 01:15:07,754
Find another subject.
1776
01:15:07,963 --> 01:15:10,757
So I shouldn't do something
that could change my future
1777
01:15:10,966 --> 01:15:13,635
because you don't want
Grandma to know you left me
in a bucket.
1778
01:15:13,844 --> 01:15:15,053
That's what
this boils down to?
1779
01:15:15,262 --> 01:15:17,306
- More or less.
- But you did leave me
in a bucket!
1780
01:15:17,514 --> 01:15:19,224
You know what?
Do whatever you want, Rory.
1781
01:15:19,433 --> 01:15:21,101
You're a big girl.
I can't stop you.
1782
01:15:21,310 --> 01:15:24,480
No, that's not how you
and I work. We don't do
passive-aggressive.
1783
01:15:24,688 --> 01:15:27,774
That's how you
and your mother work.
You should be on my side.
1784
01:15:27,983 --> 01:15:30,277
I need this.
Can't you understand that?
1785
01:15:30,486 --> 01:15:33,489
I understand.
I always understand.
1786
01:15:34,198 --> 01:15:37,618
For the last 32 years,
I have been the queen
of understanding.
1787
01:15:37,826 --> 01:15:40,162
Mom, stop.
Please, give me this.
1788
01:15:40,370 --> 01:15:42,456
I can't. Not this time.
1789
01:15:43,749 --> 01:15:44,583
(RORY SIGHS)
1790
01:15:45,125 --> 01:15:47,794
Tell Grandma that I will check
in on her later.
1791
01:15:48,712 --> 01:15:50,339
So much for the happy news!
1792
01:16:02,518 --> 01:16:03,685
(SIGHS)
1793
01:16:08,148 --> 01:16:11,109
- Hey.
- Hey. How did it go today?
1794
01:16:11,318 --> 01:16:12,903
We're hoping number six
will be the charm.
1795
01:16:13,111 --> 01:16:14,696
- What?
- Ugh, no coffee?
1796
01:16:14,905 --> 01:16:16,323
No, these people are leaving.
1797
01:16:16,532 --> 01:16:18,033
(LORELAI SIGHS)
1798
01:16:18,242 --> 01:16:20,035
- They're not having coffee.
- I want coffee.
1799
01:16:20,244 --> 01:16:22,162
You'll make a pot and drink
a cup. It's a waste.
1800
01:16:22,371 --> 01:16:24,706
- I'll drink the whole pot.
- You're not gonna do that.
1801
01:16:24,915 --> 01:16:27,793
(SIGHS) So, I'll get
a doggy bag and take
the leftover coffee home.
1802
01:16:28,001 --> 01:16:29,336
- What's the problem?
- I'm just saying--
1803
01:16:29,545 --> 01:16:31,004
- Is the world out of coffee?
- No.
1804
01:16:31,213 --> 01:16:33,257
Is Colombia pissed
over Narcos and holding out?
1805
01:16:33,465 --> 01:16:34,758
Fine.
1806
01:16:34,967 --> 01:16:36,385
How much longer
are you gonna be like this?
1807
01:16:36,593 --> 01:16:37,803
- What?
- You've been grumpy for months.
1808
01:16:38,011 --> 01:16:39,471
- No, I haven't.
- Yes, you have.
1809
01:16:39,680 --> 01:16:41,139
- Can we talk about this
at home?
- This is home.
1810
01:16:41,348 --> 01:16:43,100
Come on.
I'm just trying to work here.
1811
01:16:43,308 --> 01:16:46,144
Why didn't you tell me
you looked for
franchise locations?
1812
01:16:46,353 --> 01:16:47,688
Is that something
someone hides?
1813
01:16:47,896 --> 01:16:49,898
I was caught out today.
I don't like that.
1814
01:16:50,107 --> 01:16:51,900
- Oh, you don't like
being caught out?
- Yes.
1815
01:16:52,109 --> 01:16:54,820
Why didn't you tell me
you weren't going
to therapy anymore?
1816
01:16:56,196 --> 01:16:57,739
- I don't know.
- Why'd you hide it?
1817
01:16:57,948 --> 01:16:59,866
- I don't know.
- She hasn't been going
for a while.
1818
01:17:00,075 --> 01:17:01,076
- That's what she said.
- Yes.
1819
01:17:01,285 --> 01:17:03,537
So where have you been?
If you guys aren't
doing therapy,
1820
01:17:03,745 --> 01:17:07,207
where are you on those days
you say you're in therapy?
1821
01:17:07,416 --> 01:17:09,876
- I was still going.
- You're still going.
1822
01:17:10,419 --> 01:17:12,254
- By myself.
- Oh, okay. Yeah.
1823
01:17:12,462 --> 01:17:13,755
- You don't believe me?
- I believe you.
1824
01:17:13,964 --> 01:17:16,508
- Uh, Luke.
- I don't know, okay?
I don't know.
1825
01:17:16,717 --> 01:17:18,218
- Where do you think I was?
- (SCOFFS)
1826
01:17:18,427 --> 01:17:21,722
Having a hot affair at 10:30
every Tuesday morning?
1827
01:17:21,930 --> 01:17:23,223
That's early for a nooner.
1828
01:17:23,432 --> 01:17:27,060
Let's see. Who could it be
with? Uh, maybe
the morning food delivery guy?
1829
01:17:27,269 --> 01:17:29,521
Or Lou, the guy who wears
a wool cap even in summer?
1830
01:17:29,730 --> 01:17:31,815
I don't know who that is.
I don't know anything.
1831
01:17:32,024 --> 01:17:33,025
I'm not having an affair.
1832
01:17:33,233 --> 01:17:35,068
Of course not.
You're going to therapy alone.
1833
01:17:35,277 --> 01:17:37,279
Your mother dragged you there,
1834
01:17:37,487 --> 01:17:39,823
but then you fell
in love with it
and you threw her out.
1835
01:17:40,032 --> 01:17:42,284
Makes perfect sense.
Can I get you anything else?
1836
01:17:42,492 --> 01:17:43,535
I'd actually like
a little coffee.
1837
01:17:43,744 --> 01:17:44,786
Oh, for the love of...
1838
01:17:44,995 --> 01:17:46,204
You don't believe me?
1839
01:17:46,413 --> 01:17:48,123
I don't know what to believe.
1840
01:17:48,332 --> 01:17:50,459
You want to call
my mother and have her
confirm the story?
1841
01:17:50,667 --> 01:17:53,128
No! I don't want
to call your mother.
1842
01:17:53,337 --> 01:17:55,005
I don't call your mother.
1843
01:17:55,672 --> 01:17:57,382
- You know, we struck a deal.
- What deal?
1844
01:17:57,591 --> 01:17:59,134
You've got your life,
and I've got mine.
1845
01:17:59,343 --> 01:18:02,471
You keep your crazy family
away from me and I'll keep
mine away from you!
1846
01:18:02,679 --> 01:18:05,223
Really?
That's the way it is?
1847
01:18:05,432 --> 01:18:08,226
That's how two people
who are partners
are supposed to be?
1848
01:18:08,435 --> 01:18:10,520
What the hell is this?
What is going on here?
1849
01:18:10,729 --> 01:18:12,606
Why is everything
so separate with us?
1850
01:18:12,814 --> 01:18:14,483
How the hell would I know?
You set it up.
1851
01:18:14,691 --> 01:18:15,567
- What?
- Yeah.
1852
01:18:15,776 --> 01:18:18,487
Our lives were set up by you.
I just went along with it.
1853
01:18:18,695 --> 01:18:20,405
(SCOFFS) How the hell
did that happen?
1854
01:18:20,614 --> 01:18:22,199
I don't know.
Ask your therapist!
1855
01:18:22,407 --> 01:18:25,285
My therapist is
understudying the lead
in the moronic musical!
1856
01:18:25,494 --> 01:18:26,536
I'm done with my therapist.
1857
01:18:26,745 --> 01:18:29,247
You set it up,
and I went along,
and that's how it works.
1858
01:18:29,456 --> 01:18:31,166
Now we're in the middle
of my diner, arguing,
1859
01:18:31,375 --> 01:18:33,710
and everybody's going outside
with their food and drinks.
1860
01:18:33,919 --> 01:18:35,379
- Where are you going?
- Where?
1861
01:18:35,587 --> 01:18:37,714
I've got muffins in the oven
at the inn for tomorrow
1862
01:18:37,923 --> 01:18:40,967
because Sandra Lee canceled
because she talked
to Ina Garten,
1863
01:18:41,176 --> 01:18:43,387
who said, "Don't go
to the Dragonfly Inn
because it's awful!"
1864
01:18:43,595 --> 01:18:47,391
Sandra's had a tough couple
of years. She doesn't need
to be embarrassed by you!
1865
01:18:48,475 --> 01:18:50,769
It's on the house tonight.
Go! Go!
1866
01:18:52,604 --> 01:18:53,939
RORY: She was unbelievable.
1867
01:18:54,147 --> 01:18:57,317
Right out of left field,
crazy Lorelai face appears.
1868
01:18:57,526 --> 01:18:58,735
I've seen it before,
1869
01:18:58,944 --> 01:19:01,279
but only when somebody
cuts off her car or
at a shoe sale.
1870
01:19:01,488 --> 01:19:03,740
I saw it when
Marla Tipton's mom
called you illegitimate.
1871
01:19:03,949 --> 01:19:06,743
She winged those brownie bites
at her with scary accuracy.
1872
01:19:06,952 --> 01:19:09,454
A book. She totally
freaked out over a book.
1873
01:19:09,663 --> 01:19:11,665
- So weird.
- She knows I'm a writer.
1874
01:19:11,873 --> 01:19:14,459
She knows
everything is fodder.
Write what you know.
1875
01:19:14,668 --> 01:19:16,420
- You know what I know.
- Lorelai?
1876
01:19:16,628 --> 01:19:19,339
Lorelai, yes. And me.
And our life.
1877
01:19:19,548 --> 01:19:20,799
I know that crap
like the back of my hand.
1878
01:19:21,007 --> 01:19:23,176
- She just wouldn't listen.
- (LINE RINGING)
1879
01:19:24,052 --> 01:19:25,262
- Hello?
- (YELLS)
1880
01:19:25,470 --> 01:19:26,847
- What?
- I just called Logan.
1881
01:19:27,055 --> 01:19:28,348
- What? Why?
- I don't know.
1882
01:19:28,557 --> 01:19:30,559
(STAMMERING) It just happened.
Like a reflex.
1883
01:19:30,767 --> 01:19:34,479
Oh, my God. This is what I do.
I get upset and I call Logan.
1884
01:19:34,688 --> 01:19:37,774
Well, what I used to do,
because now she might answer.
1885
01:19:37,983 --> 01:19:39,151
- She answers his cell phone?
- (LINE RINGS)
1886
01:19:39,359 --> 01:19:40,277
Hello? Rory?
1887
01:19:40,485 --> 01:19:41,611
Crap! I did it again.
1888
01:19:41,820 --> 01:19:43,739
- Are you kidding?
- No. (SCOFFS)
1889
01:19:43,947 --> 01:19:46,032
Dial 911. I'm going insane.
1890
01:19:46,241 --> 01:19:47,701
This is who I am now?
1891
01:19:47,909 --> 01:19:50,704
That person you knew
in your youth,
who was smart and together,
1892
01:19:50,912 --> 01:19:52,914
she's been chewed up
and spit out by life.
1893
01:19:53,123 --> 01:19:54,416
- You'll never see her again--
- (LINE RINGING)
1894
01:19:54,624 --> 01:19:56,001
- LOGAN: Rory! What's going on?
- Ah! Damn it!
1895
01:19:56,209 --> 01:19:58,044
Oh. Look, okay,
you need to relax.
1896
01:19:58,253 --> 01:19:59,504
You want a Lipitor?
Zach got some.
1897
01:19:59,713 --> 01:20:00,839
No, I don't need it.
1898
01:20:01,047 --> 01:20:02,758
I need to be 20 again.
1899
01:20:02,966 --> 01:20:06,553
(SIGHS) You should have seen
us yesterday. It was so awful.
1900
01:20:06,762 --> 01:20:10,223
We were just in the middle
of a cemetery,
yelling at each other.
1901
01:20:10,432 --> 01:20:12,100
There were mourners
all around us.
1902
01:20:12,309 --> 01:20:14,394
Well, their day
wasn't so fun anyway.
1903
01:20:14,603 --> 01:20:15,854
What am I gonna do?
1904
01:20:16,062 --> 01:20:17,355
Well, she'll calm down.
1905
01:20:17,564 --> 01:20:18,899
(CHUCKLES)
1906
01:20:19,107 --> 01:20:21,193
She looked at me
the way she looks at Grandma.
1907
01:20:21,401 --> 01:20:24,529
That hurt.
And, I mean... (SCOFFS)
1908
01:20:24,738 --> 01:20:26,281
I don't know what
I was thinking.
1909
01:20:26,490 --> 01:20:29,576
I mean, of course she wouldn't
want me to write about us.
1910
01:20:29,785 --> 01:20:33,997
(SIGHS) I just... I couldn't
acknowledge it because
I want to do this so badly.
1911
01:20:34,206 --> 01:20:36,792
- I'm exhausted.
- Hey.
1912
01:20:37,000 --> 01:20:38,460
- Yeah?
- Am I in this book?
1913
01:20:38,794 --> 01:20:40,378
- Oh, don't start.
- (CELL PHONE VIBRATING)
1914
01:20:40,587 --> 01:20:42,255
- (SIGHS) Of course.
- No, I got it.
1915
01:20:42,464 --> 01:20:44,216
- No, Lane.
- Hey, stop calling.
1916
01:20:44,424 --> 01:20:46,218
What? She's calling me.
1917
01:20:46,426 --> 01:20:47,803
It's a reflex and
we're gonna kick it.
1918
01:20:48,011 --> 01:20:49,971
We've got Lipitor, so you
won't hear from her again.
1919
01:20:50,180 --> 01:20:51,348
Just put her on the phone.
1920
01:20:51,556 --> 01:20:52,641
- LANE: Not gonna happen.
- RORY: Give me the phone.
1921
01:20:52,849 --> 01:20:54,851
- No. I'm protecting you
for some reason.
- It's okay.
1922
01:20:55,811 --> 01:20:56,770
Okay.
1923
01:20:59,022 --> 01:21:01,107
- Hey.
- What is going on?
1924
01:21:01,316 --> 01:21:02,567
Nothing. Bad day.
1925
01:21:02,776 --> 01:21:04,486
Yeah, I heard about
the cholesterol problem.
1926
01:21:04,694 --> 01:21:07,239
- (RORY CHUCKLES)
- Come on, Ace.
1927
01:21:07,447 --> 01:21:09,908
You called me a bunch today
and four times last night.
1928
01:21:10,116 --> 01:21:11,660
You hung up every time.
What is it?
1929
01:21:11,868 --> 01:21:14,412
Nothing.
I had a thing with my mom.
1930
01:21:14,621 --> 01:21:15,997
Well, talk to me.
I'm here.
1931
01:21:16,206 --> 01:21:19,543
(SIGHS) I was just upset
at her and I was needing
to vent,
1932
01:21:19,751 --> 01:21:22,504
and I realized
I can't call you anymore.
1933
01:21:22,712 --> 01:21:23,630
- Why?
- (DOOR CLOSES)
1934
01:21:23,839 --> 01:21:24,881
ODETTE: Logan!
1935
01:21:25,090 --> 01:21:26,341
I gotta take this outside.
1936
01:21:26,550 --> 01:21:28,009
RORY: Because she's there.
1937
01:21:28,218 --> 01:21:29,803
(SIGHS) Rory...
1938
01:21:30,011 --> 01:21:31,137
She's there.
1939
01:21:31,930 --> 01:21:34,140
- Yeah.
- (SIGHS) That's why.
1940
01:21:34,349 --> 01:21:35,684
(SIGHS)
1941
01:21:35,892 --> 01:21:38,854
So, I guess we should
say goodbye.
1942
01:21:39,062 --> 01:21:39,980
If that's what you want.
1943
01:21:40,188 --> 01:21:41,147
Don't make this my thing.
1944
01:21:41,356 --> 01:21:43,275
- Sorry.
- So that's it?
1945
01:21:43,483 --> 01:21:44,651
We're breaking up.
1946
01:21:45,777 --> 01:21:48,780
Except we can't break up...
because we're nothing.
1947
01:21:57,873 --> 01:21:59,082
(SNIFFLING) God.
1948
01:21:59,291 --> 01:22:01,334
This adult stuff
is hard, isn't it?
1949
01:22:02,669 --> 01:22:05,922
I wonder if
the Thirtysomething Gang
goes through crap like this.
1950
01:22:11,803 --> 01:22:13,263
TAYLOR: Lorelai, it's Taylor.
1951
01:22:13,471 --> 01:22:15,932
You're probably not interested
in the musical anymore,
1952
01:22:16,141 --> 01:22:18,184
but out of politeness,
I'm letting you know
1953
01:22:18,393 --> 01:22:22,606
that Nat Compton
and I went on retreat
to Cape Cod last weekend,
1954
01:22:22,814 --> 01:22:24,566
and we've come up
with a new song.
1955
01:22:24,774 --> 01:22:26,943
I'm inviting everyone
on the advisory committee
1956
01:22:27,152 --> 01:22:29,446
to come by Miss Patty's
tonight and give it a listen.
1957
01:22:29,654 --> 01:22:32,824
But please, please...
leave the 'tude at home.
1958
01:22:33,033 --> 01:22:34,117
(LINE DISCONNECTS)
1959
01:22:35,410 --> 01:22:37,120
(PIANO PLAYING)
1960
01:22:39,080 --> 01:22:42,000
♪ I know how
everyone else's life
1961
01:22:42,208 --> 01:22:45,670
♪ Is supposed to fly by
1962
01:22:48,340 --> 01:22:50,926
♪ Then someone turns and says
1963
01:22:51,885 --> 01:22:54,346
♪ What about you?
1964
01:22:57,015 --> 01:22:59,601
♪ And I stand here
1965
01:22:59,809 --> 01:23:01,269
♪ Mouth open
1966
01:23:02,020 --> 01:23:04,230
♪ Mind blank
1967
01:23:06,858 --> 01:23:10,445
♪ This should have
all worked itself out
1968
01:23:10,654 --> 01:23:12,530
♪ By now
1969
01:23:14,783 --> 01:23:18,745
♪ The map of my life
Should be clear and precise
1970
01:23:18,954 --> 01:23:20,789
♪ With little red dashes
1971
01:23:20,997 --> 01:23:24,960
♪ And circles so nice
Showing roadblocks
1972
01:23:25,168 --> 01:23:27,462
♪ And land mines
1973
01:23:31,716 --> 01:23:36,972
♪ Oh, I am not unbreakable
1974
01:23:40,308 --> 01:23:43,812
♪ I am breaking right now
1975
01:23:44,020 --> 01:23:46,982
♪ Maybe everyone
can't have the dream
1976
01:23:47,732 --> 01:23:50,902
♪ Maybe everyone
can't kiss the frog
1977
01:23:51,528 --> 01:23:56,074
♪ Maybe it'll be me and a dog
1978
01:23:57,283 --> 01:24:00,286
♪ And the little
stuffed dolphins
On the floor
1979
01:24:01,830 --> 01:24:04,791
♪ And a little dog door
1980
01:24:08,211 --> 01:24:12,424
♪ Oh, I am not unbreakable
1981
01:24:16,177 --> 01:24:20,098
♪ I am breaking right now
1982
01:24:24,602 --> 01:24:28,481
♪ I need to be unbreakable
1983
01:24:30,442 --> 01:24:31,818
♪ Somehow
1984
01:24:34,654 --> 01:24:36,156
♪ It's never
1985
01:24:38,575 --> 01:24:42,287
♪ Or now ♪
1986
01:24:53,465 --> 01:24:54,382
This is a cut.
1987
01:24:54,591 --> 01:24:55,884
What a bore.
1988
01:25:00,346 --> 01:25:02,223
- LORELAI: Luke?
- In here!
1989
01:25:04,434 --> 01:25:06,352
This shelf is driving me
crazy. It wobbles.
1990
01:25:06,561 --> 01:25:07,812
I'm just trying
to shore it up.
1991
01:25:08,021 --> 01:25:09,314
Right, good.
1992
01:25:10,273 --> 01:25:11,232
Um...
1993
01:25:12,484 --> 01:25:13,818
We need to talk. (SIGHS)
1994
01:25:14,027 --> 01:25:15,653
I'm kind of in the middle
of this thing.
1995
01:25:16,404 --> 01:25:18,114
I have to tell you something.
1996
01:25:20,492 --> 01:25:21,701
Okay, tell me.
1997
01:25:23,912 --> 01:25:25,288
(SIGHS)
1998
01:25:25,497 --> 01:25:26,915
I'm going away.
1999
01:25:27,540 --> 01:25:28,708
You're going away?
2000
01:25:29,751 --> 01:25:31,586
And I might be gone
for a while.
2001
01:25:32,545 --> 01:25:33,588
What's a while?
2002
01:25:34,380 --> 01:25:35,423
A few weeks.
2003
01:25:36,674 --> 01:25:39,177
- A few weeks?
- Maybe longer.
2004
01:25:39,385 --> 01:25:41,346
Lorelai, what is this?
2005
01:25:42,430 --> 01:25:45,058
(SIGHS) I'm gonna do Wild.
2006
01:25:45,266 --> 01:25:46,851
- What?
- Wild.
2007
01:25:47,685 --> 01:25:49,395
- I don't...
You mean the movie?
- The book.
2008
01:25:49,604 --> 01:25:50,647
What's the difference?
2009
01:25:50,855 --> 01:25:52,482
The movie took liberties.
The book is more pure.
2010
01:25:52,690 --> 01:25:54,025
I'm gonna do the book.
2011
01:25:54,234 --> 01:25:56,194
But what does that mean,
you're doing Wild?
2012
01:25:56,402 --> 01:25:58,780
I'm going to go to the place.
2013
01:25:58,988 --> 01:26:00,073
The Pacific Crest Trail?
2014
01:26:00,281 --> 01:26:01,950
And I'm gonna walk it.
2015
01:26:02,158 --> 01:26:04,160
- Or hike it.
- Sure, let's go with that.
2016
01:26:04,369 --> 01:26:06,830
- That trail's
2,000 miles long.
- I won't do it all.
2017
01:26:07,038 --> 01:26:08,206
- And it's a trail.
- I know.
2018
01:26:08,414 --> 01:26:10,041
- It's outdoors.
It's in nature.
- I know.
2019
01:26:10,250 --> 01:26:11,709
There's dirt, bugs, animals.
2020
01:26:11,918 --> 01:26:13,628
- I know.
- Mosquitos, rivers.
2021
01:26:13,837 --> 01:26:16,047
- I know.
- You have to carry
your own backpack.
2022
01:26:16,256 --> 01:26:17,465
- By yourself.
- I know.
2023
01:26:17,674 --> 01:26:20,385
- You can't take
Dewey and Brandon.
- Their mothers wouldn't let me.
2024
01:26:21,052 --> 01:26:22,512
- You have to sleep
on the ground.
- I know.
2025
01:26:22,720 --> 01:26:23,972
- You cook your own food.
- I know.
2026
01:26:24,180 --> 01:26:25,723
- You boil your own water.
- I know.
2027
01:26:25,932 --> 01:26:27,392
- You get water from a stream.
- I know.
2028
01:26:27,600 --> 01:26:28,810
- That's in nature.
- I know.
2029
01:26:31,479 --> 01:26:33,148
Well, I guess you know
what's out there.
2030
01:26:34,691 --> 01:26:35,900
And you're still gonna go?
2031
01:26:36,860 --> 01:26:37,861
Yeah.
2032
01:26:38,945 --> 01:26:39,946
Why?
2033
01:26:43,575 --> 01:26:45,869
Because it's never...
2034
01:26:47,537 --> 01:26:48,621
or now.