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[theme music playing]
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[snarls]
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[all scream]
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[laughing]
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Oh, hey. I didn't see you there.
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My name's Patches. I'm a weredude.
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How did I get here, you ask?
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Well, to understand that,
you gotta go back to the beginning.
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[creature roaring]
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I was just a young kitty,
on my own in the big city. [chuckles]
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That rhymed.
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I was chasing this rat,
and I was like, "Yo, dude, slow down.
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I'm not gonna hurt you.
I just wanna eat you a little bit.
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Then, with my epic reflexes...
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[grunting]
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I caught the rat.
And that's when it happened.
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The rat turned
into this totally awesome dude.
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And I was like...
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Whoa.
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And he goes,
"Hey, I'm Steve, I'm a weredude.
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I'm a rat most of the time,
but when there's a full moon,
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I turn into this gnarly ripped dude
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and I get to drive cars
and other human things."
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I was like, "Cool." And he was like,
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"If you want some awesome powers
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and sweet calves like this,
I just have to bite your tail."
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And I said, "That sounds awesome."
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The transformation was gnarly.
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Sweet.
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Steve taught me a lot about the world,
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but what he showed me next blew my mind.
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[moans]
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I not only had a fourth finger,
I had opposable thumbs.
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From then on,
things would never be the same.
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[munching]
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For the years that followed,
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I took full advantage
of my newfound thumbs.
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And then one day, Steve was like,
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"Did I ever tell you
about the Vampanimals?"
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And I was like, "Yeah, I think so."
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And he was like, "Are you sure?"
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And I was like, "Well... nah."
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So he started to tell me about a time
that existed before time,
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whatever that means,
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when the Vampanimals waged a war
against the Weredudes.
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And all the Weredudes were like,
"Yo, dude, chill."
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And we were like, "Yeah, man,
I've got no problems with you."
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The Vampanimals were like...
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[roaring]
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And then the UFOs came like...
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[mimicking laser guns firing]
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And then the monster trucks
and jets came out.
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And they were like...
[mimicking guns firing]
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In the end, Steve and the Weredudes
were forced to flee.
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Then Steve got all obsessed,
and he's like,
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"The war's not over!" And, "I'm gonna get
this weapon, blah, blah, blah.
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Are you with me, dude?"
And I'm like, "Now?"
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And he's like, "Yes, now."
And I'm like, "You mean right now?"
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And he goes, "Yes, right now."
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And then, like,
the next thing I know, he vanished.
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Just like that.
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Now that Steve was gone,
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I'll tell you about
another awesome dude I met.
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I was chasing pigeons in the park one day,
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and that's when I met Bunnicula.
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[roaring]
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And for whatever reason,
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he was able to overlook the ancient feud
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between the Weredudes and the Vampanimals
and accept me for who I was.
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Bunnicula started to teach me
all the supernatural stuff
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that Steve never taught me.
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We became instant besties,
and watched so many sci-fi marathons
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that Bunnicula's eyeballs popped out.
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But ours was a forbidden bromance,
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and it was only a matter of time
until the past caught up with me.
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[thunder crashes]
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Oh.
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[slurping]
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[chuckling]
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Yeah.
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[Patches]
Steve had returned, and he's all like,
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"I've got that weapon
I was talking about."
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And I was like... [mumbles]
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And he said, "What?" And I was like,
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"A raisin-making gun?"
And he said, "No, dude.
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This gun fires pure sunlight.
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It will help us Weredudes rid the world
of all Vampanimals."
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And I was like, "You mean Bunnicula?
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He's, like, my best bud."
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[laughing]
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And then Steve's like,
"Vampanimals are our mortal enemies.
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I gotta take him out."
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[Mina] Bunnicula! Time for your bath.
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Coming.
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Whew.
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So to answer your question,
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Steve's like a dad to me
and Bunnic is like a brother.
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I just can't choose between them.
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-Um... What?
-You guys asked how I got here.
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Uh... [clears throat]
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I think we just meant,
"Up on that telephone pole."
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Oh. Well, I didn't know what to do
so I climbed up here to hide.
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Well, sir, we're gonna have
to place you under arrest--
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Listen, sounds like
you care about these guys.
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Yeah. They're both chill dudes.
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It's just this bogus ancient feud.
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If there's one thing I know,
good friends are hard to come by.
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Don't run away from folks you care about.
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If you do, you'll never be able
to forgive yourself.
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You guys are right.
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Dudes don't always land on their feet.
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Thanks, guys.
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-I really liked him.
-Yeah, he's a good guy.
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[chuckles]
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Ah. We, uh...
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probably should've
charged him for destruction of property.
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-Probably.
-Want to get some donuts?
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You read my mind.
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[yawns]
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Yo, B, I've been waiting for you
to wake up.
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There's this brand-new
all-you-can-eat place down the street,
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and it's got a massive salad bar.
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[speaks indistinctly]
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Huh? Huh?
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[gasps]
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Dude. So not cool.
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[in high-pitched voice]
Score one for the Weredudes!
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[chuckles]
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Wait, I don't remember your voice
sounding like that.
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You seem to have forgotten
a lot of things,
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like your loyalty to the Weredudes.
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Now, it's time to finish off
this Vampanimal!
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-Huh?
-No!
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Oops. Sorry, bro, but you shouldn't have--
Hey! [grunting]
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[grunting]
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[squeaking]
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What's the big idea, man?
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Us Weredudes gotta stick together,
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and take out all those Vampanimals
so we can win the ancient war!
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I'm tired of the ancient war, dude.
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You guys are both my friends.
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-We can all live--
-[Bunnicula slurps]
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[roaring]
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Let's do this!
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Stop fighting!
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[stomach rumbles]
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Oh, shouldn't have had
that 12th slice of pizza.
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This doesn't stop the war, you know?
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-[indistinctly] What war?
-"What war?"
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The ancient war between the Weredudes
and the Vampanimals.
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The Weredudes
are just tired of being haunted.
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[speaking indistinctly]
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I'm not lying!
154
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Well, not exactly.
I guess I should explain.
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[Steve] The savage feud
started one night in the park.
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I was about to ask my boys
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if they wanted to grab a protein shake,
and all of a sudden...
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[roars]
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-[laughing]
-[Steve squeaking]
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That Vampanimal scared me half to death!
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[laughing]
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So you're telling me
there was never an ancient feud
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with battles and armies
and monster trucks and the spaceships?
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Actually, I think you made
most of that stuff up.
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Well, that settles it then.
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We can all be bros.
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No way! Vampanimals are the worst!
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[speaking indistinctly]
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Whoa, whoa, cool down, hombres.
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Let's focus on our similarities.
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Steve, I'm sure you've noticed
Bunnicula has a killer set of biceps.
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Just like your own.
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[grunting]
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And what about your calves?
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And what two guys share
the world's greatest 12-pack?
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[grunting]
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[laughs] That's awesome, bro.
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Put her there, pal.
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[chuckles] Hey, hey, this is great.
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Three bros getting along.
This is awesome.
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That's right. Three bros.
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Right, guys? Uh...
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-Guys? Oh, come on, guys. Hold on, now.
-[thudding]
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[closing theme playing]