[theme music playing]
[snarls]
[all scream]
[laughing]
Oh, hey. I didn't see you there.
My name's Patches. I'm a weredude.
How did I get here, you ask?
Well, to understand that, you gotta go back to the beginning.
[creature roaring]
I was just a young kitty, on my own in the big city. [chuckles]
That rhymed.
I was chasing this rat, and I was like, "Yo, dude, slow down.
I'm not gonna hurt you. I just wanna eat you a little bit.
Then, with my epic reflexes...
[grunting]
I caught the rat. And that's when it happened.
The rat turned into this totally awesome dude.
And I was like...
Whoa.
And he goes, "Hey, I'm Steve, I'm a weredude.
I'm a rat most of the time, but when there's a full moon,
I turn into this gnarly ripped dude
and I get to drive cars and other human things."
I was like, "Cool." And he was like,
"If you want some awesome powers
and sweet calves like this, I just have to bite your tail."
And I said, "That sounds awesome."
The transformation was gnarly.
Sweet.
Steve taught me a lot about the world,
but what he showed me next blew my mind.
[moans]
I not only had a fourth finger, I had opposable thumbs.
From then on, things would never be the same.
[munching]
For the years that followed,
I took full advantage of my newfound thumbs.
And then one day, Steve was like,
"Did I ever tell you about the Vampanimals?"
And I was like, "Yeah, I think so."
And he was like, "Are you sure?"
And I was like, "Well... nah."
So he started to tell me about a time that existed before time,
whatever that means,
when the Vampanimals waged a war against the Weredudes.
And all the Weredudes were like, "Yo, dude, chill."
And we were like, "Yeah, man, I've got no problems with you."
The Vampanimals were like...
[roaring]
And then the UFOs came like...
[mimicking laser guns firing]
And then the monster trucks and jets came out.
And they were like... [mimicking guns firing]
In the end, Steve and the Weredudes were forced to flee.
Then Steve got all obsessed, and he's like,
"The war's not over!" And, "I'm gonna get this weapon, blah, blah, blah.
Are you with me, dude?" And I'm like, "Now?"
And he's like, "Yes, now." And I'm like, "You mean right now?"
And he goes, "Yes, right now."
And then, like, the next thing I know, he vanished.
Just like that.
Now that Steve was gone,
I'll tell you about another awesome dude I met.
I was chasing pigeons in the park one day,
and that's when I met Bunnicula.
[roaring]
And for whatever reason,
he was able to overlook the ancient feud
between the Weredudes and the Vampanimals and accept me for who I was.
Bunnicula started to teach me all the supernatural stuff
that Steve never taught me.
We became instant besties, and watched so many sci-fi marathons
that Bunnicula's eyeballs popped out.
But ours was a forbidden bromance,
and it was only a matter of time until the past caught up with me.
[thunder crashes]
Oh.
[slurping]
[chuckling]
Yeah.
[Patches] Steve had returned, and he's all like,
"I've got that weapon I was talking about."
And I was like... [mumbles]
And he said, "What?" And I was like,
"A raisin-making gun?" And he said, "No, dude.
This gun fires pure sunlight.
It will help us Weredudes rid the world of all Vampanimals."
And I was like, "You mean Bunnicula?
He's, like, my best bud."
[laughing]
And then Steve's like, "Vampanimals are our mortal enemies.
I gotta take him out."
[Mina] Bunnicula! Time for your bath.
Coming.
Whew.
So to answer your question,
Steve's like a dad to me and Bunnic is like a brother.
I just can't choose between them.
-Um... What? -You guys asked how I got here.
Uh... [clears throat]
I think we just meant, "Up on that telephone pole."
Oh. Well, I didn't know what to do so I climbed up here to hide.
Well, sir, we're gonna have to place you under arrest--
Listen, sounds like you care about these guys.
Yeah. They're both chill dudes.
It's just this bogus ancient feud.
If there's one thing I know, good friends are hard to come by.
Don't run away from folks you care about.
If you do, you'll never be able to forgive yourself.
You guys are right.
Dudes don't always land on their feet.
Thanks, guys.
-I really liked him. -Yeah, he's a good guy.
[chuckles]
Ah. We, uh...
probably should've charged him for destruction of property.
-Probably. -Want to get some donuts?
You read my mind.
[yawns]
Yo, B, I've been waiting for you to wake up.
There's this brand-new all-you-can-eat place down the street,
and it's got a massive salad bar.
[speaks indistinctly]
Huh? Huh?
[gasps]
Dude. So not cool.
[in high-pitched voice] Score one for the Weredudes!
[chuckles]
Wait, I don't remember your voice sounding like that.
You seem to have forgotten a lot of things,
like your loyalty to the Weredudes.
Now, it's time to finish off this Vampanimal!
-Huh? -No!
Oops. Sorry, bro, but you shouldn't have-- Hey! [grunting]
[grunting]
[squeaking]
What's the big idea, man?
Us Weredudes gotta stick together,
and take out all those Vampanimals so we can win the ancient war!
I'm tired of the ancient war, dude.
You guys are both my friends.
-We can all live-- -[Bunnicula slurps]
[roaring]
Let's do this!
Stop fighting!
[stomach rumbles]
Oh, shouldn't have had that 12th slice of pizza.
This doesn't stop the war, you know?
-[indistinctly] What war? -"What war?"
The ancient war between the Weredudes and the Vampanimals.
The Weredudes are just tired of being haunted.
[speaking indistinctly]
I'm not lying!
Well, not exactly. I guess I should explain.
[Steve] The savage feud started one night in the park.
I was about to ask my boys
if they wanted to grab a protein shake, and all of a sudden...
[roars]
-[laughing] -[Steve squeaking]
That Vampanimal scared me half to death!
[laughing]
So you're telling me there was never an ancient feud
with battles and armies and monster trucks and the spaceships?
Actually, I think you made most of that stuff up.
Well, that settles it then.
We can all be bros.
No way! Vampanimals are the worst!
[speaking indistinctly]
Whoa, whoa, cool down, hombres.
Let's focus on our similarities.
Steve, I'm sure you've noticed Bunnicula has a killer set of biceps.
Just like your own.
[grunting]
And what about your calves?
And what two guys share the world's greatest 12-pack?
[grunting]
[laughs] That's awesome, bro.
Put her there, pal.
[chuckles] Hey, hey, this is great.
Three bros getting along. This is awesome.
That's right. Three bros.
Right, guys? Uh...
-Guys? Oh, come on, guys. Hold on, now. -[thudding]
[closing theme playing]