[theme music playing]
[growls]
[giggling]
[alarm wails]
[man on radio] This is K-Sad, playing the sounds
for all you sad, lonely people out there.
♪ Hey, there, lonely guy ♪
♪ You're all alone You're ready to cry ♪
♪ Why don't you stay in bed and moan ♪
♪ Because you're alone ♪
[yawns]
Mina, I made breakfast.
Come and eat with your old man.
Sorry, Dad, I've got school. You're on your own.
-[crash] -[sighs]
[slurping]
Loneliness is delicious.
-[kid 1] Hey, hey, Mina. -[kid 2] Hey.
[Mina] Hey, friends.
[sighs]
Checkmate.
Your move, buddy.
No. Wait! Come back, Bunnicula.
I'll let you win. I'll let you--
[groans]
Hey, Dad. Sorry, I'm late.
I was just hanging out with my friends and lost track of time.
You know me. Ms. Popular.
Huh? Uh, Dad?
-[crying over TV] -[Arthur crying]
Oh! What? Mina.
Oh, you're back!
Oh, man. Dad.
My, uh, ice-cream allergy.
It's, uh, making my eyes water.
Oh, what's the use?
Don't worry about me, honey.
Just crying in a dark room, all alone.
Hey, hey, hey, rainy face.
Let the sun shine in, you Gloomy Gus.
[whimpering]
Hey, I know what will get you out of this funk.
Let's go for a walk.
-The fresh air will do you good. -Do you mean it?
Ooh.
Can we go by the arcade?
We can do whatever you want.
[laughing]
So, feeling better?
[laughing]
-No. -Hm.
Oh, "Wren Trilinquist,
New Orleans' Second Greatest Ventriloquist."
Well, Woody, if it weren't for me, you wouldn't speak.
But, if it weren't for me, you wouldn't eat.
Woody-doody-do!
Tips? Spare change?
Anybody? Anybody?
[laughing]
Look, she has a bowtie!
Funny.
Come on. This will cheer you right up.
Whoa!
And now is the part where Woody likes to get up-close
and personal with the audience.
Woody-doody-do!
If I could steal your hat for just a moment, handsome.
[gasps] Howdy-doody.
I think I'm in love.
Go get her, tiger.
[scoffs] This audience is so cheap they can't even pay attention.
I'll need to do better if I'm gonna own the finer things in life.
Cough. Cough.
Pay attention to me.
Oh, there you are.
Thanks for the hat, partner.
I like you.
Come visit my house.
[groans]
[snickering]
And where is that, cowboy?
It's the Orlock Apartments.
I own the place.
Ooh, you have such beautiful, glowing green eyes.
Oh, thank you. Yours are very reflective.
Now, the Orlock, would you say that's in a very wealthy part of town?
Oh, no.
I'd say it's a very, very, very wealthy part of town.
-Huh? -So, Wren, I--
Shh.
You had me at "very, very, very wealthy." [chuckles]
How about dinner tomorrow at 7 sharp?
I like you!
I think he means to say "I'd like to."
Then I'll see you at the Orlock.
Nailed it.
[Mina] See? Going outside was an awesome idea.
-[doorbell rings] -[Arthur] She's here.
I'm here.
Ha, ha, and I'm here, too.
Ha, ha, you brought a guest.
Oh, I hope you don't mind.
Woody comes with me wherever I go.
You're very dedicated to your craft.
As am I.
Oops. Whoa.
Always repairing stuff at the Orlock.
So, this is the Orlock.
Such finery.
So it is just you and your daughter here?
-No... -[growling]
[gasp] Dogs!
-Oh, my gosh! -Are you all right?
Harold, what's gotten into you?
I'm so sorry.
He's never done this before.
Uh... [chuckles]
Woody's not a fan of dogs.
Well, why don't we head on out?
Have fun, you two.
Don't make any rash decisions.
Dude, what was that all about?
I don't know. Something about that puppet.
[dogs barking]
Hey, how was the date, Daddy-O?
Daughter, I bring good tidings.
Wren and I are to be married.
Wait, what? But you've only just met her.
How dare you question your father's decisions?
Dad, this isn't like you at all.
That's no way to speak to your father. Or your new mother.
Or even your new Uncle Woody.
-Woody-doody-do! -But--
Daughter, go to your room and take your pets with you!
Fine. Hope you're very happy together.
[all] Woody-doody-do!
You guys, something doesn't smell right about all this.
That puppet freaks me out.
If Harold is freaked out, then I'm totally freaked out.
There's something not right about this, and I bet it's [shudders] supernatural.
I'm gonna hide. I mean, I'm gonna look after Mina.
You stay behind and check this out.
[Arthur and Wren laughing]
Finally, we are all alone.
[gibbering]
[Wren laughs]
I'm the greatest ventriloquist in the world.
Now, grab whatever you can before he wakes up.
Just one more bag, and we're home-free.
[groaning]
Hey, that smarts!
Huh?
Oh, what happened?
[gibbers]
You! You--
You broke my spell. I better book it.
[laughing]
Hey.
Woody-doody-do!
Dad? I thought I heard something--
[gasps, then barks]
I'm calling the police.
♪ Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, I'm what ♪
♪ Uh-huh, I'm what, what, what ♪
♪ I'm a time I'm an old ♪
♪ Oh, yeah, I'm Woody, Woody-- ♪
Oh, okay, Woody. Better be cool.
All right, fella, let's see some proper identification.
Identification?
Oh, why, uh-- Why certainly, officer.
I'm the real McCoy, don't you know?
And I have my ID right here.
Hey, wait a minute, bub.
That's just a painting of a...
Yes!
-[officer] Mr. Goose. -What?
Might I say what a very handsome license photo.
Why, thank you, officer.
-Woody-doody-do! -Woody-doody-do!
[screeching]
Ow.
Don't think I can't control you too. Ha, ha, come here!
[laughing]
[Woody] Well, well. Little bunny foo-foo.
And here I thought I was the only one with magical chops around here.
You think you can stop me?
You think you're better than me.
Whatever I touch, I can control.
See?
Yeah. [laughs]
I could be here or here.
[all] Anywhere.
[Woody] I'm no dummy. The world is my dummy.
And now, you will be too!
-Get him, boys! -[all dummies] Come here!
Hey, Bunnicula, we followed the path of destruction
and it lead us right-- Whoa!
[growling]
-[crash] -[gasping]
I really don't like that wooden guy.
Jeez, Harold, I guess that'll do it.
Wouldn't you say so, Bunnicula?
[singing] ♪ Na-na-na-nah-nah ♪
♪ Na-na-na-nah-nah ♪
Bunnicula? Bunnicula!
Oh, there you are.
Oh, thank goodness you're okay.
[groans] What happened?
How did we get here?
What a crazy presumably dramatic evening.
But at least it brought us closer together.
Do I know you?
[shrieks] Too real. Baby steps Wren. Baby steps.
Oh, hello. Care to walk me home, stranger?
[in high voice] Anything for you, Wren. You've had a stressful time.
[in normal voice] Oh, you sweet little man.
She chose a doll over me.
Only in America.
Aw, hey, Dad, you know you'll always have us.
And I think you dodged a bullet with this one.
Perhaps you're right, daughter.
For it is like Shakespeare once said:
"It is better to be single
than be with some selfish, controlling freak."
Right.
[whistles]
Boy, what a mess.
Ugh.
The things I see in this line of work.
Hm.
What do we have here?
A familiar face.
[both laughing]
[theme music playing]