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[theme music playing]
2
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[hisses]
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[laughing]
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[upbeat music playing]
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Hey, Chester. Why so glum?
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Oh, it's nothing.
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Aw, come on, Chester.
You know you could tell us anything.
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-Open up.
-Yeah.
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It's just that every year,
right around this time,
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I get a little lovesick, is all.
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What with all the blossoms
and the warm spring air
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and the pheromones. They're everywhere!
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It's maddening!
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It makes a man crazy!
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I'm so desperately alone.
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-Ew! Chester wants a girlfriend.
-[speaking indistinctly]
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Hey, come on.
You guys already had your love stories.
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What about me, huh?
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What about lonely, lonely Chester?
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[man] What about super-awesome Patches?
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Who was that?
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-[Harold] It's Patches!
-[Bunnicula speaking indistinctly]
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Hey, I'm Patches.
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I'm a Weredude.
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♪ Patches, a Weredude, yes, he's back ♪
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♪ He's the hefty, hairy man
Who is also a cat ♪
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♪ When the moon is full
It rearranges his fat ♪
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♪ It makes a magic transformation
Wherever he's at ♪
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♪ He's Patches ♪
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Hey, Chester.
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Hey, Bunnicula. Hey, uh...
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The-- The dog.
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How's it going?
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Oh, Chester was just talking
about how alone he is
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-and something about "ferret-moans."
-Pheromones!
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And I wouldn't have to lament
if I only knew how to impress the ladies.
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[blows raspberry]
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Chester, women aren't so hard.
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I have a girlfriend.
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-You do?
-No, not technically. But look.
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You can see her.
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-She's right over there.
-[Chester] Wow.
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No, no, no, not her.
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Her.
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Her name is Elvira.
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I met her during the last full moon.
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I think I'm in love with her.
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But I can't see her if I'm a human.
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Until the moon changes me back,
all I can do is leave tokens
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of my affection while she sleeps.
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At least you have someone.
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I just wish I could be like you
and know how to play the game.
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[Patches] Wouldn't that be something?
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If only we could find a solution
to each other's problems.
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Aha!
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[speaking indistinctly]
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Uh...
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[groaning]
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Why?
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Whoa!
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You look just like me.
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What--? What the--? All right, you.
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You wanna maybe explain
your rationality behind this!
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[speaking indistinctly]
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Patches.
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Oh, I get it.
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Chester stands in for Patches
and gets Elvira to fall in love with him
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and then Chester can learn
basic dating etiquette
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-so he can finally call himself a man.
-Yeah.
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Wait, you-- You mean,
pretending to be you on a date?
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A real date?
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Hey, you said you wanted to learn.
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Well, now is your chance, Chester.
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Someone's gotta make her
fall in love with me.
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You can do it, Chester.
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Do it for me.
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You're right, Patches.
I'm gonna do this.
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For you and for me.
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Yeah.
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-But don't kiss her.
-Kiss her?
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Oh, I just hope I can get her attention
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and, of course, help my Weredude buddy.
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Chester, you're my boy.
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[thunder cracks]
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Okay, Elvira's waiting.
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Here, give her this mouse I caught.
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[coughing]
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I don't know if I can do this.
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Relax.
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There's only one thing you need to know
when it comes to the ladies.
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-Always be awesome.
-Uh...
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All right.
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Make her swoon, buddy.
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[shouts]
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Oh. Hello.
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Uh-- Oh, hi. I'm, uh, Patches.
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[stammering] Here. This is for you.
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This is madness.
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Madness!
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[both chuckle]
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Uh, so, you like, uh...
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comic books?
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Comic books?
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Oh. Oh, my.
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As a matter of fact,
I rather love comic books.
106
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Wow, really?
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Me-- Me, too.
108
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Yeah, and nothing goes better
with reading than...
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[both] Listening to lounge jazz.
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[both laugh]
111
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Hey, you know something?
You're pretty cool.
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Duh.
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Yes. Let us continue the date.
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-Uh, Patches?
-Yeah, I-- I'm Patches.
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The ground.
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It's ever so far.
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Would you help me down?
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Uh, yes, of course.
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Alley-oop, my love.
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Oh, your arms are so big
and strong, Patches.
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My arms.
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Come on. Let us go frolic about and such.
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[upbeat music playing]
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Uh, Dad? There's a strange man
talking to the animals.
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[Arthur] Only in America. [laughs]
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Ah. Chester sure has been doing a good job
keeping Elvira in love with me.
127
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Though there is something that we've
noticed that maybe you're not aware of.
128
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What? That Chester is
the best wingman in the world
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and would do anything
for his brother, man?
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I already knew that.
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[speaking indistinctly]
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No, no, no. You-- You're both crazy.
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I-- I need to go. [shouts]
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[speaking indistinctly]
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Let him go, Bunnicula.
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He'll understand soon enough.
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[Elvira] Oh, Patches.
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These past few days
have been so wonderful.
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And I must say,
I thought you were handsome before,
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but now I find you even more attractive.
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Yeah, about all that. There's something
you don't know about me,
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and I wanna be honest with you
about it, but I don't know how.
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What you talking about, Chester?
144
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Can't it wait?
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The moon will soon be out
and it will be ever so full.
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Won't that be lovely and good, Patches?
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Yeah, see, my situation
kind of involves the moon.
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And, well, I-- I, uh...
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You know what they say
about the full moon, don't you?
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They say it causes... madness.
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Uh, uh...
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I, uh...
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[crying]
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I can't believe Chester betrayed me.
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[shouting]
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[speaking indistinctly]
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[ominous music playing]
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[Chester] This is the real deal, you guys.
159
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It just feels right, you know?
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[speaking indistinctly]
161
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Oh, Bunnicula.
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I don't expect you to understand
what Elvira and I share.
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It's a pure love.
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Uh, okay, but, uh, what about Patches?
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What about Patches, indeed.
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Whoa! Ow.
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Patches! There--
There's no need to get upset.
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You used my own advice against me
and acted too awesome.
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Now you're trying to steal Elvira from me.
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But I won't let you.
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Hey, what--? What are you--? Quit it!
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-Should we do something, Bunnicula?
-[speaking indistinctly]
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You can't accept
that I make a better Patches than you.
174
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Nuh-uh. You make me sound like a hobbit.
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People love hobbits!
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[dramatic music playing]
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Madness!
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[both] Huh?
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-Elvira!
-Elvira! You know it's me, babe.
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Don't let this faker steal you away.
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I share your interests, Elvira.
182
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Jazz, lavender soap, comic books.
183
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Choose me, Elvira.
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[Patches] Choose me, Elvira.
185
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-[Chester] Choose me.
-Choose me.
186
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-[Chester] Choose me. Me.
-No, choose me, man.
187
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-Choose me!
-Choose me!
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[air hissing]
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[both] Elvira!
190
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I can't believe it.
191
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She fainted from her own indecision.
192
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Uh, you guys? She probably fell over
193
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'cause she's just a bag of sand
with a balloon tied to it.
194
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Harold, how could you say that
about Elvira?
195
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Yeah, she's not an object.
196
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She's a real, live woman.
197
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She's the most beautiful woman
I've ever know...
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[shouting]
199
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How--? What--? When did this--?
200
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How long has Elvira been a bag of sand
with a balloon tied to it?
201
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The whole time.
202
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This is madness!
203
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Madness!
204
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[both] Choose me!
205
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[air hissing]
206
00:10:06,247 --> 00:10:07,540
[both] Elvira!
207
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[mimics explosion]
208
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But our love was real.
209
00:10:14,004 --> 00:10:15,339
How can this happen?
210
00:10:15,423 --> 00:10:17,466
Well, I don't know.
I guess you could chalk it up
211
00:10:17,550 --> 00:10:21,637
to the loneliness, wishful thinking
and all those "fairy-moans."
212
00:10:21,720 --> 00:10:22,763
Pheromones.
213
00:10:22,847 --> 00:10:24,223
You know what, Chester?
214
00:10:24,306 --> 00:10:27,977
Maybe we don't need to be in love
in order to be happy.
215
00:10:28,060 --> 00:10:30,187
-Yeah.
-And it's pretty funny.
216
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I'd say we looked equally ridiculous.
217
00:10:33,232 --> 00:10:34,525
[speaking indistinctly]
218
00:10:34,608 --> 00:10:37,278
Hey, yeah.
When does that disguise wear off?
219
00:10:38,529 --> 00:10:40,281
[both laughing]
220
00:10:41,949 --> 00:10:42,867
Don't worry.
221
00:10:43,492 --> 00:10:44,785
I got you covered.
222
00:10:44,869 --> 00:10:45,870
Thanks.
223
00:10:45,953 --> 00:10:47,538
That's what friends are for.
224
00:10:52,501 --> 00:10:54,420
[theme music playing]