1
00:00:05,016 --> 00:00:06,006
Hey, guys. It's me.
2
00:00:06,016 --> 00:00:09,006
So, tomorrow begins
the trial of the millennium.
3
00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:12,009
It's pretty obvious
that Gory Dory is guilty,
4
00:00:12,010 --> 00:00:14,020
so why are we even
having this trial?
5
00:00:14,021 --> 00:00:16,001
She should be in jail!
6
00:00:16,005 --> 00:00:18,005
And not to be sexist,
but she's pretty ugly,
7
00:00:18,016 --> 00:00:21,006
and she looks like a liberal.
8
00:00:21,012 --> 00:00:24,022
And I'll be interested to see
if she ever shuts up!
9
00:00:24,023 --> 00:00:31,013
♪♪
10
00:00:31,008 --> 00:00:38,008
♪♪
11
00:00:38,016 --> 00:00:43,006
♪ Obedear, the sky is low ♪
12
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So, this is what I was thinking
for the first day.
13
00:00:46,016 --> 00:00:49,996
It's super professional,
and it matches
14
00:00:50,003 --> 00:00:53,013
with this suit for Drew!
15
00:00:53,014 --> 00:00:55,024
Yeah, I just feel like,
you know, we're gonna look like
16
00:00:56,001 --> 00:00:59,011
some sort of brother-sister
cartoon freaks if we match.
17
00:00:59,012 --> 00:01:01,022
You know what, Cassidy?
Why don't we take
18
00:01:01,017 --> 00:01:03,017
the responsibility
off your shoulders
19
00:01:03,017 --> 00:01:05,007
of dressing us up
like little dolls
20
00:01:05,016 --> 00:01:07,016
and focus
on your opening statement,
21
00:01:07,021 --> 00:01:11,011
which I, for one,
would love to hear.
22
00:01:11,009 --> 00:01:11,999
Mm.
[ Chuckles ]
23
00:01:12,005 --> 00:01:15,015
Well, this is about
us coaching you,
24
00:01:15,022 --> 00:01:17,012
not the other way around.
25
00:01:17,011 --> 00:01:20,021
What's the big deal?
26
00:01:20,017 --> 00:01:21,007
Let's just hear
your statement.
27
00:01:21,016 --> 00:01:24,006
Are you not prepared?
28
00:01:24,009 --> 00:01:25,019
Maybe I just don't like
being put on the spot.
29
00:01:25,018 --> 00:01:27,998
Well, that's what court is.
30
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Right?
31
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So, come on.
32
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Practice.
33
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Fine.
34
00:01:36,008 --> 00:01:38,018
Okay. Oh, God.
35
00:01:38,018 --> 00:01:42,018
So, imagine, if you will,
36
00:01:42,023 --> 00:01:46,013
a little girl on a playground...
37
00:01:46,012 --> 00:01:48,002
swinging on a swing.
38
00:01:48,003 --> 00:01:50,003
Okay, um, I'm sorry,
I hate this.
39
00:01:50,003 --> 00:01:53,013
It's not cheesy,
but it just feels like it is,
40
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because I feel like
I'm under a microscope,
41
00:01:54,013 --> 00:01:57,013
in my own home.
42
00:01:58,014 --> 00:02:03,024
Um, and then there were these
small changes in her persona--
43
00:02:03,019 --> 00:02:04,999
Sorry, I'm just gonna
take that line again.
44
00:02:05,006 --> 00:02:10,006
Um, and after that, I noticed
changes in her person--
45
00:02:10,009 --> 00:02:11,009
I'm sorry.
I'm just in my head.
46
00:02:11,007 --> 00:02:13,017
I'm usually so amazing
at learning lines.
47
00:02:13,023 --> 00:02:16,023
I just -- It's just very weird
playing myself.
48
00:02:17,001 --> 00:02:19,021
Totally. But remember, you don't
have to be perfect up there.
49
00:02:19,018 --> 00:02:20,008
You're a human being.
50
00:02:20,012 --> 00:02:22,012
You have every right
to be nervous.
51
00:02:22,015 --> 00:02:24,015
Well, it kind of does
have to be perfect, alright?
52
00:02:24,023 --> 00:02:27,003
So, you know,
I guess I would just ask
53
00:02:27,003 --> 00:02:31,023
for you to just deal
with the pressure.
54
00:02:31,022 --> 00:02:34,012
Okay.
55
00:02:34,015 --> 00:02:37,005
Hey, gang.
56
00:02:37,007 --> 00:02:40,007
We're gearing up for
a long, hard battle,
57
00:02:40,012 --> 00:02:43,012
and the one gift we can
give ourselves is sleep.
58
00:02:43,011 --> 00:02:44,021
Sleep.
59
00:02:45,001 --> 00:02:48,021
Uh, thanks, Bob.
Have a good night.
60
00:02:48,017 --> 00:02:53,007
You know, my best friend died
five years ago and...
61
00:02:53,015 --> 00:02:56,015
changed the course
of my life.
62
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I'm sorry to hear about
your friend, Bob.
63
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Life. Live it.
64
00:03:03,002 --> 00:03:04,022
Exploit it.
65
00:03:04,020 --> 00:03:06,010
Take it by the neck
and choke it.
66
00:03:06,008 --> 00:03:10,018
You get out of this mess,
you guys are gonna be so lucky.
67
00:03:10,020 --> 00:03:13,010
And when you are,
do something.
68
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Change the world.
69
00:03:15,021 --> 00:03:21,021
Or just, you know, sit back
and make some cash, at least.
70
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Good night.
71
00:03:30,021 --> 00:03:34,001
Charlie! Hi!
[ Chuckles ]
72
00:03:34,002 --> 00:03:35,012
Oh, I'm so sorry.
73
00:03:35,008 --> 00:03:35,998
Um, I'm a guest
on Charlie Reeny's show.
74
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Do you know
where I can find her?
75
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Elliott Goss.
76
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[ Chuckling ]
Hi!
77
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Oh, my goodness!
78
00:03:44,016 --> 00:03:45,996
Hello!
79
00:03:46,003 --> 00:03:47,013
How are you?!
80
00:03:47,013 --> 00:03:49,023
I'm glad you finally decided
to come on my show.
81
00:03:50,001 --> 00:03:50,021
Oh, well, thank you so much
for having me.
82
00:03:51,001 --> 00:03:53,021
I've seen enough clips
of your show to know
83
00:03:53,017 --> 00:03:55,017
that you don't often have
the gay coastal elite
84
00:03:55,017 --> 00:03:58,017
on as guests, so...
85
00:03:58,021 --> 00:04:00,011
I always like to ask
before we start,
86
00:04:00,010 --> 00:04:01,010
are there any
no-fly zones?
87
00:04:01,007 --> 00:04:03,017
I try and respect
my guests' privacy.
88
00:04:03,019 --> 00:04:06,009
Yes. Um, I tend to be very quiet
about my failures,
89
00:04:06,009 --> 00:04:09,999
so if you don't mind, please
don't mention my book deal,
90
00:04:10,002 --> 00:04:11,012
which recently crumbled.
91
00:04:11,010 --> 00:04:13,020
I'm just here to discuss
my friends, so...
92
00:04:13,017 --> 00:04:14,017
-Loud and clear.
-Cool.
93
00:04:14,018 --> 00:04:16,998
Well, I haven't gotten
into hair and makeup yet,
94
00:04:17,006 --> 00:04:18,996
so I'll see you on set.
95
00:04:19,005 --> 00:04:19,995
Okay.
96
00:04:20,003 --> 00:04:21,023
This is so fun!
97
00:04:21,018 --> 00:04:23,018
Thank y--
98
00:04:23,021 --> 00:04:25,011
Where do I go?
99
00:04:25,007 --> 00:04:27,007
[ All clamoring indistinctly ]
100
00:04:27,007 --> 00:04:28,017
Oh, my God.
101
00:04:28,023 --> 00:04:31,023
Gory Dory, are you
a cold-blooded killer?!
102
00:04:31,017 --> 00:04:33,007
Drew, did she
make you do it?!
103
00:04:33,016 --> 00:04:34,016
Get back!
Nothing, nothing!
104
00:04:34,022 --> 00:04:38,012
[ All shouting indistinctly ]
105
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Get away from me, you animals!
106
00:04:39,014 --> 00:04:40,024
Get back!
107
00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:45,000
Girl:
I love you, Drew!
108
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Please rise.
109
00:04:48,012 --> 00:04:50,002
The United States District Court
110
00:04:50,002 --> 00:04:52,012
for the Southern District
of New York is now in session.
111
00:04:52,015 --> 00:04:55,015
The Honorable Judge
Xavier Hellerman presiding.
112
00:05:03,010 --> 00:05:06,020
Please be seated.
113
00:05:06,023 --> 00:05:08,023
This is the United States
114
00:05:08,022 --> 00:05:12,012
vs. Dory Sief and Drew Gardner.
115
00:05:12,011 --> 00:05:14,021
Counsel, are you
ready to proceed?
116
00:05:14,023 --> 00:05:15,023
-Yes.
-Yes.
117
00:05:15,022 --> 00:05:19,012
Deputy, let's invite the jury.
118
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♪♪
119
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[ Whispering ]
Dory...
120
00:05:31,015 --> 00:05:33,015
I'm really scared.
121
00:05:40,015 --> 00:05:41,995
Before we begin, may I just
relay to the court
122
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that I was recently diagnosed
123
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with a very rare
autoimmune condition
124
00:05:48,017 --> 00:05:50,997
called Poppy Gillies disease,
125
00:05:51,003 --> 00:05:53,013
which gravely affects
my metabolism.
126
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There may be times
in this courtroom
127
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when I may be
continuously snacking,
128
00:05:59,011 --> 00:06:02,001
as my life depends on it.
129
00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:09,000
I now ask the prosecution
to give their opening statement.
130
00:06:11,004 --> 00:06:12,024
Good morning.
131
00:06:12,020 --> 00:06:15,000
Day one...
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00:06:15,004 --> 00:06:18,024
of many, of many.
133
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Well, you know what?
I'd like to start
134
00:06:20,019 --> 00:06:23,019
by painting you
a little picture.
135
00:06:24,001 --> 00:06:26,001
It's a cool...
136
00:06:26,004 --> 00:06:30,004
breezy May afternoon.
137
00:06:30,005 --> 00:06:34,015
And a little girl sits on
the swings, on the playground.
138
00:06:34,021 --> 00:06:38,001
Only this little girl
doesn't feel like playing today.
139
00:06:38,005 --> 00:06:41,005
Something inside of her knows...
140
00:06:41,014 --> 00:06:43,024
that somewhere in Montreal,
141
00:06:43,019 --> 00:06:47,009
just five hours north
of where she sits,
142
00:06:47,011 --> 00:06:49,021
her father, Keith Isaac Powell,
143
00:06:50,001 --> 00:06:52,011
is being violently murdered
144
00:06:52,009 --> 00:06:57,999
by a young, attractive,
privileged couple.
145
00:06:58,002 --> 00:07:02,012
This man did not deserve to die,
146
00:07:02,014 --> 00:07:07,014
especially at the hands
of a couple of Millennials
147
00:07:07,011 --> 00:07:10,011
looking for a thrill-kill!
148
00:07:10,014 --> 00:07:13,014
Dory Sief is an attractive
woman, all right?
149
00:07:13,007 --> 00:07:16,017
But with that attractiveness
came sexual confidence.
150
00:07:16,021 --> 00:07:20,011
Mm. Sounds good.
151
00:07:20,010 --> 00:07:24,010
But that turned into
sexual deviance.
152
00:07:24,015 --> 00:07:29,005
She revealed to her...
submissive boyfriend
153
00:07:29,012 --> 00:07:31,022
that she was having an affair
154
00:07:31,021 --> 00:07:35,021
and then coerced him to just
dutifully abandon all morality
155
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just to satisfy her.
156
00:07:38,003 --> 00:07:39,023
[ Sighs ]
157
00:07:39,021 --> 00:07:43,011
And we have undeniable proof
158
00:07:43,007 --> 00:07:46,007
against that privileged couple.
159
00:07:46,013 --> 00:07:48,013
Proof that they were in Montreal
160
00:07:48,016 --> 00:07:51,016
on the grounds
where Keith was murdered.
161
00:07:51,023 --> 00:07:53,013
Hair samples, fingerprints,
162
00:07:53,013 --> 00:07:57,013
such extensive DNA
from the crime scene.
163
00:07:57,011 --> 00:07:58,021
We have so much evidence,
164
00:07:58,023 --> 00:08:03,023
that, frankly, you're gonna
get real tired of it.
165
00:08:03,022 --> 00:08:05,022
If we allow these two
166
00:08:05,021 --> 00:08:08,011
morally repugnant
abusers of privilege off,
167
00:08:08,007 --> 00:08:10,017
well, you know
what you're doing?
168
00:08:10,017 --> 00:08:13,017
You're letting
an entire generation off.
169
00:08:13,022 --> 00:08:17,012
If we enable this entitlement
170
00:08:17,008 --> 00:08:20,008
to the degree of murder,
171
00:08:20,007 --> 00:08:21,017
I ask you,
172
00:08:21,018 --> 00:08:25,008
what kind of world
are our children growing up in?
173
00:08:25,012 --> 00:08:27,012
♪♪
174
00:08:27,010 --> 00:08:29,010
And, more importantly...
175
00:08:29,011 --> 00:08:31,001
♪♪
176
00:08:31,006 --> 00:08:34,006
...what kind of world
do you want to live in?
177
00:08:34,009 --> 00:08:36,019
Oh, my God!
178
00:08:36,021 --> 00:08:39,021
-[ Groaning ]
-Can we get some paper towels!
179
00:08:42,005 --> 00:08:44,005
Mm-hmm.
180
00:08:44,013 --> 00:08:47,013
I, too, feel sick.
181
00:08:47,011 --> 00:08:48,011
-Oh.
-Here.
182
00:08:48,013 --> 00:08:49,023
This is bad.
183
00:08:49,019 --> 00:08:50,999
This is so bad.
184
00:08:51,004 --> 00:08:53,014
-All right.
-Ugh!
185
00:08:53,012 --> 00:08:55,012
Oh, God. I'm so sorry.
186
00:08:55,012 --> 00:08:57,012
Yeah, I'm so sorry.
187
00:08:57,010 --> 00:08:59,010
I'm so sorry.
188
00:09:01,012 --> 00:09:04,002
Uh, just want
to say sorry.
189
00:09:04,006 --> 00:09:06,006
I'm so sorry.
190
00:09:06,010 --> 00:09:10,020
Now for the defense's
opening statements.
191
00:09:14,001 --> 00:09:16,001
Okay.
192
00:09:24,019 --> 00:09:27,019
Good afternoon, everyone.
193
00:09:27,020 --> 00:09:30,020
Members of the jury...
194
00:09:30,020 --> 00:09:34,020
fellow attorneys, et al.
Umm...
195
00:09:34,018 --> 00:09:38,008
In an unpredictable coincidence,
196
00:09:38,010 --> 00:09:40,010
my opening statement also began
197
00:09:40,012 --> 00:09:44,002
with imagery of a young girl
on a playground.
198
00:09:44,005 --> 00:09:46,005
It was different,
but not different enough
199
00:09:46,011 --> 00:09:51,021
for me to want
to still do it, so...
200
00:09:51,022 --> 00:09:55,012
Um, here comes
some improvisation,
201
00:09:55,014 --> 00:09:57,014
so...
202
00:09:57,009 --> 00:09:59,999
Hmph.
203
00:10:00,006 --> 00:10:05,996
This question is for the ladies
in the room!
204
00:10:06,006 --> 00:10:07,006
Have you ever felt,
205
00:10:07,010 --> 00:10:10,020
while walking down
the street at night,
206
00:10:10,023 --> 00:10:15,023
that there was someone
behind you, watching you?
207
00:10:15,023 --> 00:10:17,023
I'm sure you've had
this experience.
208
00:10:17,018 --> 00:10:24,998
And I know for a fact
that my client Dory Sief has.
209
00:10:25,002 --> 00:10:28,002
She was trying to make
the world a better place.
210
00:10:28,004 --> 00:10:30,014
She was trying to be
a good person.
211
00:10:30,012 --> 00:10:33,012
She was actually trying
to save her friend
212
00:10:33,010 --> 00:10:34,020
Chantal Witherbottom,
213
00:10:34,023 --> 00:10:39,013
who, to her knowledge,
was in serious trouble.
214
00:10:39,007 --> 00:10:41,007
Now, along the way,
she met a man,
215
00:10:41,010 --> 00:10:45,020
"Keith Powell,"
whom she befriended.
216
00:10:45,023 --> 00:10:50,013
Mr. Powell developed feelings
for my client,
217
00:10:50,015 --> 00:10:51,995
which she indulged
218
00:10:52,003 --> 00:10:55,023
with the permission
of her understanding boyfriend.
219
00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:58,020
However, when the time came
220
00:10:58,020 --> 00:11:02,000
for Dory to end things
with Keith,
221
00:11:02,003 --> 00:11:04,013
he did not take it well.
222
00:11:04,012 --> 00:11:08,012
He put a tracking device
on her phone
223
00:11:08,012 --> 00:11:10,022
and followed her to Montreal
224
00:11:10,018 --> 00:11:14,008
in a dangerous fit.
225
00:11:14,011 --> 00:11:18,001
So it's obvious
that the question then becomes
226
00:11:18,006 --> 00:11:20,006
who followed Keith to Montreal
227
00:11:20,012 --> 00:11:24,012
and committed
this terrible crime?
228
00:11:24,016 --> 00:11:28,006
My client is not a murderer.
229
00:11:28,015 --> 00:11:30,015
She is a victim.
230
00:11:30,021 --> 00:11:32,021
She is a victim of circumstance,
231
00:11:33,001 --> 00:11:35,011
and she is a victim
of the patriarchy,
232
00:11:35,008 --> 00:11:37,998
as are we all.
233
00:11:38,003 --> 00:11:40,013
Mr. Powell was
an immoral predator
234
00:11:40,011 --> 00:11:43,021
who wanted to harass my client.
235
00:11:43,020 --> 00:11:47,000
And I'm proud of her
for not retaliating
236
00:11:47,002 --> 00:11:49,012
in the face of that harassment.
237
00:11:49,016 --> 00:11:51,006
I'm proud of her
for not even being aware
238
00:11:51,008 --> 00:11:53,018
of his murder at all.
239
00:11:54,001 --> 00:11:58,001
And I am proud of her
240
00:11:58,005 --> 00:12:00,995
for being a resilient, brave,
241
00:12:01,002 --> 00:12:03,022
modern woman.
242
00:12:04,001 --> 00:12:08,001
Thank you.
243
00:12:08,003 --> 00:12:11,023
And thank you...all.
244
00:12:22,006 --> 00:12:22,996
What?
245
00:12:23,005 --> 00:12:25,015
Man: Camera.
And we're back from commercial
246
00:12:25,021 --> 00:12:28,021
in 3, 2, 1.
247
00:12:28,017 --> 00:12:31,017
Hi. You're watching "Open Fire
with Charlie Reeny."
248
00:12:31,020 --> 00:12:33,000
My name is Charlie Reeny,
249
00:12:33,003 --> 00:12:35,003
and I have a hot show
for you today.
250
00:12:35,005 --> 00:12:37,995
It's the first day of trial
in the Gory Dory murder case,
251
00:12:38,004 --> 00:12:40,004
and joining me today
is lifelong friend
252
00:12:40,003 --> 00:12:42,013
of the murderous couple,
defense witness
253
00:12:42,010 --> 00:12:45,000
and gay rights activist
Elliott Goss.
254
00:12:45,002 --> 00:12:48,002
[ Chuckles ] Uh, I wouldn't
necessarily call myself that.
255
00:12:48,004 --> 00:12:50,004
I'm certainly a friend
of the movement,
256
00:12:50,002 --> 00:12:52,012
but I've never been
to a march in my life.
257
00:12:52,007 --> 00:12:54,017
So, Elliott, before we get into
how you and your friends
258
00:12:54,022 --> 00:12:57,002
represent absolutely
everything that's wrong
259
00:12:57,005 --> 00:12:58,015
-with young liberals...
-Mm.
260
00:12:58,017 --> 00:13:01,997
...I wanted to give you a chance
to plug your book.
261
00:13:08,004 --> 00:13:10,014
Okay.
[ Chuckles ]
262
00:13:10,015 --> 00:13:11,995
What's shocking?
263
00:13:12,002 --> 00:13:13,022
The fact that you squandered
the only chance you had
264
00:13:13,023 --> 00:13:16,013
at a real career
by having writer's block,
265
00:13:16,014 --> 00:13:21,014
or the fact that my producer's
niece can draw this well?
266
00:13:21,007 --> 00:13:22,007
I know what I was
trying to say,
267
00:13:22,011 --> 00:13:24,021
and it's that
that is not my book.
268
00:13:24,023 --> 00:13:27,003
-It looks just like you.
-Well, it's not my book.
269
00:13:27,003 --> 00:13:28,013
And I didn't write --
It's -- It's --
270
00:13:28,008 --> 00:13:31,008
Blond hair, blue eyes?
271
00:13:33,007 --> 00:13:33,017
My turn.
272
00:13:33,019 --> 00:13:37,009
Help me up, please.
273
00:13:37,015 --> 00:13:40,015
Ohh!
Whew!
274
00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:43,020
Ladies and gentlemen
of the jury.
275
00:13:44,001 --> 00:13:46,011
Your Honor.
276
00:13:46,009 --> 00:13:50,009
Cassidy brought up
some very interesting points
277
00:13:50,014 --> 00:13:51,014
that I'm sure resonate
278
00:13:51,014 --> 00:13:56,014
with many people
around the world.
279
00:13:56,010 --> 00:14:00,020
The prosecution, well,
what was she talking about?
280
00:14:00,020 --> 00:14:02,010
I tried to follow it.
281
00:14:02,012 --> 00:14:05,002
I don't know
what she was saying.
282
00:14:05,002 --> 00:14:07,012
They both told stories,
283
00:14:07,008 --> 00:14:10,008
but I am gonna talk
about the evidence,
284
00:14:10,015 --> 00:14:13,005
because if there's one thing
I'm completely confident of
285
00:14:13,016 --> 00:14:19,006
is that my client,
Eddie, is innocent.
286
00:14:19,009 --> 00:14:21,019
[ Whispering ]
Eddie?! Who's Eddie?
287
00:14:21,018 --> 00:14:22,998
Oh, uh --
288
00:14:23,003 --> 00:14:25,003
It's -- Bob, it's Drew.
289
00:14:25,002 --> 00:14:26,012
Drew! Drew!
290
00:14:26,016 --> 00:14:28,016
Drew is innocent.
291
00:14:28,023 --> 00:14:31,003
[ Chuckles ]
292
00:14:31,005 --> 00:14:33,005
Do you ever have
one of those days?
293
00:14:34,008 --> 00:14:42,008
♪♪
294
00:14:42,009 --> 00:14:50,009
♪♪
295
00:14:50,013 --> 00:14:58,013
♪♪
296
00:14:58,015 --> 00:15:06,015
♪♪
297
00:15:10,006 --> 00:15:11,016
Charlie: You cannot hire
any women taller than me.
298
00:15:11,017 --> 00:15:13,017
End of discussion.
She's 5'7". I'm 5'6".
299
00:15:13,018 --> 00:15:15,008
Do the fuckin' work.
300
00:15:15,013 --> 00:15:16,023
Are you okay?
301
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:18,020
You look beat up.
302
00:15:18,022 --> 00:15:21,012
I'm sorry. I just didn't
quite expect this from you,
303
00:15:21,014 --> 00:15:23,014
not as a guest
in your own house.
304
00:15:23,014 --> 00:15:25,014
Babe, that's the game.
305
00:15:25,014 --> 00:15:27,014
Do you like watching
polite TV? No.
306
00:15:27,008 --> 00:15:28,008
[ Chuckles ]
You like watching good TV.
307
00:15:28,014 --> 00:15:33,014
Man:
And we're back in 3, 2, 1.
308
00:15:33,013 --> 00:15:36,013
Welcome back to "Open Fire
with Charlie Reeny."
309
00:15:36,007 --> 00:15:37,017
I'm your host, Charlie Reeny.
And joining me today
310
00:15:37,020 --> 00:15:41,020
is the man who helped
his friends bury a body,
311
00:15:41,023 --> 00:15:43,003
Elliott Goss.
312
00:15:43,002 --> 00:15:44,012
[ Sniffs ]
313
00:15:44,010 --> 00:15:45,020
I'm sorry.
314
00:15:45,018 --> 00:15:47,018
-Did you fart?
-What?
315
00:15:47,018 --> 00:15:50,008
[ Chuckling ]
Oh, my God!
316
00:15:50,016 --> 00:15:52,996
I can't believe that much smell
came out of you.
317
00:15:53,002 --> 00:15:55,012
I mean, you are too tiny
to make that much smell.
318
00:15:55,010 --> 00:15:55,020
It's sick!
319
00:15:55,023 --> 00:15:58,003
People, I didn't fart.
320
00:15:58,003 --> 00:16:00,013
Oh, God. Oh, God.
321
00:16:00,007 --> 00:16:02,007
Yeah, you guys -- Right?
You, too?
322
00:16:02,015 --> 00:16:03,005
Yeah, even the producers
can smell it.
323
00:16:03,012 --> 00:16:05,012
It's thatdisgusting.
324
00:16:05,015 --> 00:16:08,005
Did you --
Oh, my God.
325
00:16:08,010 --> 00:16:11,000
Did you eat
an old ostrich egg?
326
00:16:11,002 --> 00:16:12,012
I don't fart!
327
00:16:12,015 --> 00:16:14,005
I don't fart!
328
00:16:16,008 --> 00:16:19,008
Your Honor, I would like
to call the witness
329
00:16:19,015 --> 00:16:23,005
Portia Davenport
to the stand, please.
330
00:16:26,011 --> 00:16:29,011
[ Spectators murmur ]
331
00:16:48,016 --> 00:16:50,006
Raise your right hand.
332
00:16:50,011 --> 00:16:51,021
Do you swear or affirm
333
00:16:51,019 --> 00:16:52,019
that the testimony
you are about to give
334
00:16:52,020 --> 00:16:55,020
will be the truth,
the whole truth,
335
00:16:55,020 --> 00:16:56,010
and nothing but the truth?
336
00:16:56,011 --> 00:16:58,011
Yes, I-I do.
337
00:16:58,012 --> 00:17:00,022
-Please be seated.
-Okay.
338
00:17:02,016 --> 00:17:05,006
-Good morning.
-Good morning.
339
00:17:05,010 --> 00:17:08,000
How is it
that you, uh, know
340
00:17:08,004 --> 00:17:11,014
the defendants, Dory Sief
and Drew Gardner?
341
00:17:11,011 --> 00:17:13,001
Um, well, I met
Dory in college.
342
00:17:13,003 --> 00:17:16,013
[ Chuckling ] And it's actually
a funny story.
343
00:17:16,008 --> 00:17:16,998
It always makes me laugh.
344
00:17:17,004 --> 00:17:19,014
It's way too long
to tell you guys,
345
00:17:19,016 --> 00:17:21,006
but I'll just say
that it involves
346
00:17:21,008 --> 00:17:24,018
me locking myself out
of my dorm room totally naked
347
00:17:24,019 --> 00:17:27,009
and then having to wait
in Dory's dorm room
348
00:17:27,015 --> 00:17:30,995
until someone
unlocked mine.
349
00:17:31,005 --> 00:17:33,015
And, actually,
that is the entire story.
350
00:17:33,022 --> 00:17:35,022
And then she met Drew,
351
00:17:35,022 --> 00:17:36,022
and we all became good buds.
352
00:17:36,023 --> 00:17:39,013
But they weren't
very good buds
353
00:17:39,009 --> 00:17:43,019
on the night of May 26th,
now, were they?
354
00:17:43,020 --> 00:17:44,020
No.
355
00:17:45,001 --> 00:17:47,021
In a testimony
that you made to police,
356
00:17:47,023 --> 00:17:49,013
you stated,
357
00:17:49,008 --> 00:17:52,018
Quote: "I stopped dry-humping
with the Frenchman
358
00:17:52,017 --> 00:17:55,017
and went downstairs
to get a glass of water.
359
00:17:55,023 --> 00:17:57,023
When I got to the kitchen,
I discovered my friends
360
00:17:58,001 --> 00:18:03,011
stuffing Keith's body
into a zebra-print suitcase.
361
00:18:03,011 --> 00:18:07,011
They convinced me
to bury the suitcase with them.
362
00:18:07,007 --> 00:18:10,007
I still have nightmares
every night."
363
00:18:10,010 --> 00:18:13,020
Do you still stand by
this statement, Portia?
364
00:18:13,022 --> 00:18:15,002
Yes, I do.
365
00:18:15,002 --> 00:18:16,022
Now, you've known Dory
intimately
366
00:18:16,018 --> 00:18:19,008
for a long time,
would you say?
367
00:18:19,016 --> 00:18:21,996
How would you
describe her?
368
00:18:22,002 --> 00:18:25,002
Well, my answer is
kind of changing lately.
369
00:18:25,002 --> 00:18:30,012
Um, but if you had asked me
before all this,
370
00:18:30,014 --> 00:18:32,014
oh, man.
371
00:18:32,007 --> 00:18:33,017
I would say
Dory is so nice.
372
00:18:33,019 --> 00:18:35,019
And she's
such a good friend
373
00:18:35,022 --> 00:18:40,002
and very creative
and introspective.
374
00:18:40,005 --> 00:18:44,005
But how would you
describe her now?
375
00:18:44,012 --> 00:18:48,012
[ Voice breaking ]
I don't really know what's real
376
00:18:48,010 --> 00:18:50,000
and what's not real with her.
377
00:18:50,002 --> 00:18:54,002
After this whole era,
it's sort of my opinion
378
00:18:54,005 --> 00:18:54,995
that she really resents
379
00:18:55,004 --> 00:18:59,004
that she just doesn't
have a sense of self.
380
00:18:59,003 --> 00:19:01,023
And now that I'm sitting here
thinking about it,
381
00:19:01,023 --> 00:19:05,013
I didn't ever want
to even look for Chantal.
382
00:19:05,011 --> 00:19:08,001
I just did it
because I loved my friend,
383
00:19:08,003 --> 00:19:14,003
and I was very worried
about her mental health,
384
00:19:14,003 --> 00:19:17,003
and I wanted to be
a good friend.
385
00:19:17,003 --> 00:19:19,003
But then it kept getting
bigger and bigger,
386
00:19:19,003 --> 00:19:23,003
and she just dragged me
into these problems
387
00:19:23,002 --> 00:19:27,002
that I don't think I deserved
to be dragged into.
388
00:19:27,005 --> 00:19:29,995
And then Keith dies,
and it's like
389
00:19:30,004 --> 00:19:32,014
she could have kept me
out of it, and she just didn't.
390
00:19:32,012 --> 00:19:37,012
I just think it's horrible
of her, and I think that...
391
00:19:37,012 --> 00:19:39,022
she doesn't care about me
and she never did,
392
00:19:39,020 --> 00:19:42,010
or something like that.
393
00:19:42,008 --> 00:19:43,018
What a betrayal.
394
00:19:43,020 --> 00:19:47,010
You thin-lipped,
baby-killing,
395
00:19:47,011 --> 00:19:48,011
under-funded
pride parade!
396
00:19:48,009 --> 00:19:52,009
You book-burning gas chamber
with penis envy!
397
00:19:52,012 --> 00:19:53,022
-Commie!
-Fascist!
398
00:19:53,023 --> 00:19:55,023
-Faggot!!
-[ Gasps ]
399
00:19:55,020 --> 00:19:57,010
Whore!
400
00:19:59,005 --> 00:20:01,995
Well, that's all the time
we have today
401
00:20:02,004 --> 00:20:04,014
on "Open Fire
with Charlie Reeny."
402
00:20:04,010 --> 00:20:05,010
I'm Charlie Reeny
reminding you
403
00:20:05,009 --> 00:20:09,009
that the Second Amendment
is never going away.
404
00:20:09,008 --> 00:20:11,018
♪♪
405
00:20:11,017 --> 00:20:14,017
Man: And we're out.
406
00:20:14,017 --> 00:20:18,007
That was incredible.
That's the most fun
I've ever had in my life.
407
00:20:18,015 --> 00:20:20,005
-You're a genius.
-No, no, no.
408
00:20:20,007 --> 00:20:22,017
Youare a genius.
409
00:20:22,017 --> 00:20:25,997
Portia, is there anything
that maybe you would like to add
410
00:20:26,002 --> 00:20:30,022
that you think might be helpful
for the jury to hear today?
411
00:20:30,017 --> 00:20:33,007
Yes.
412
00:20:33,007 --> 00:20:35,007
I would like to add...
413
00:20:35,013 --> 00:20:38,003
that while I was coerced
into burying the body,
414
00:20:38,006 --> 00:20:40,016
I sensed in her no remorse.
415
00:20:41,001 --> 00:20:42,021
She was hostile
416
00:20:42,021 --> 00:20:45,021
and, to be frank,
full of vitriol.
417
00:20:45,020 --> 00:20:48,000
Wow. So very traumatic.
418
00:20:48,005 --> 00:20:52,015
Your Honor, I --
I have no further questions.
419
00:20:53,018 --> 00:20:56,008
Miss Davenport.
420
00:20:56,008 --> 00:20:57,998
-Hi.
-Hi.
421
00:20:58,004 --> 00:20:59,024
Can I ask you a question?
422
00:20:59,018 --> 00:21:01,018
Do you wear contact lenses?
423
00:21:01,023 --> 00:21:02,023
I do.
424
00:21:02,020 --> 00:21:05,010
And what is your prescription
in each eye?
425
00:21:05,011 --> 00:21:08,011
My left eye is a six,
426
00:21:08,016 --> 00:21:09,996
and my right eye,
I believe, is a seven.
427
00:21:10,006 --> 00:21:14,016
Well, I'd like to do
a little eye test with you.
428
00:21:14,019 --> 00:21:16,999
-You want take me -- these out?
-Yeah, take your contacts out.
429
00:21:17,006 --> 00:21:19,996
Take your time.
[ Both whispering indistinctly ]
430
00:21:20,006 --> 00:21:21,016
-Okay.
-Excuse me!
431
00:21:21,022 --> 00:21:23,002
-No, shh!
-Miss Diamond and Miss Sief,
432
00:21:23,002 --> 00:21:26,012
you're distracting
your own defense.
433
00:21:26,010 --> 00:21:28,010
I am so sorry, Your Honor.
434
00:21:28,012 --> 00:21:30,012
Um, Bob?
435
00:21:30,014 --> 00:21:34,024
Oh. What?
436
00:21:34,023 --> 00:21:36,013
I know, but...
437
00:21:36,011 --> 00:21:39,001
[ Whispering ]
I want you to sit down and rest,
438
00:21:39,004 --> 00:21:40,014
and I'm gonna take over.
439
00:21:40,010 --> 00:21:42,000
Okay.
440
00:21:42,003 --> 00:21:47,003
I am so sorry
for this disruption, everyone.
441
00:21:47,002 --> 00:21:49,022
But I would just like to ask
the court stenographer
442
00:21:49,021 --> 00:21:53,011
if you could please read back
Portia's earlier statement
443
00:21:53,016 --> 00:21:56,016
regarding my client's
behavior toward her
444
00:21:56,018 --> 00:21:58,018
the night of the alleged burial.
445
00:21:59,001 --> 00:22:01,011
Stenographer: "While I was
coerced into burying the body,
446
00:22:01,015 --> 00:22:04,005
I sensed in her no remorse.
She was hostile
447
00:22:04,007 --> 00:22:08,017
and, to be frank,
full of vitriol."
448
00:22:08,019 --> 00:22:10,999
Mm.
449
00:22:11,004 --> 00:22:13,014
Mm. [ Smacking lips ]
450
00:22:13,014 --> 00:22:16,024
That's -- That's a word.
451
00:22:16,021 --> 00:22:18,021
I need to use that word
more often.
452
00:22:18,017 --> 00:22:20,007
Do you use
that word a lot?
453
00:22:20,009 --> 00:22:21,019
Yeah, I...
454
00:22:21,022 --> 00:22:23,012
personally feel like
it is just very important
455
00:22:23,008 --> 00:22:26,018
as a woman
to have a diverse vocabulary.
456
00:22:26,020 --> 00:22:29,020
Would you be a dear
and would you define it
457
00:22:29,022 --> 00:22:32,012
for some of the members
of the jury
458
00:22:32,013 --> 00:22:36,013
who might not be
very familiar with it?
459
00:22:36,016 --> 00:22:39,006
Mm-hmm. I can.
460
00:22:39,007 --> 00:22:41,007
It's, um...
461
00:22:41,012 --> 00:22:43,012
Uh -- Well, it would be,
like --
462
00:22:43,008 --> 00:22:46,018
V-Vitriol,
the definition of vitriol.
463
00:22:46,017 --> 00:22:48,017
It is something
that you are very full of.
464
00:22:48,020 --> 00:22:50,010
It's a quality.
465
00:22:50,007 --> 00:22:53,007
It's a -- And it's
a negative quality.
466
00:22:53,016 --> 00:22:56,006
Wow. Could you put it
in a sentence for me?
467
00:22:56,012 --> 00:22:57,012
Mm-hmm. Yes.
468
00:22:57,015 --> 00:22:59,005
Um, let me think.
469
00:22:59,008 --> 00:23:01,008
Uh, I have one.
470
00:23:01,009 --> 00:23:04,019
Um, "Dory was full
of vitriol."
471
00:23:04,019 --> 00:23:07,009
Oh, new sentence,
please.
472
00:23:10,001 --> 00:23:13,021
Some people are always
full of vitriol.
473
00:23:13,018 --> 00:23:18,008
Mm, that's a suspiciously
similar sentence.
474
00:23:18,012 --> 00:23:19,012
You know, and it kind of
makes me wonder
475
00:23:19,007 --> 00:23:24,017
who would use a word
like "vitriol."
476
00:23:24,022 --> 00:23:26,022
Dare I say it was
coached into you?
477
00:23:26,018 --> 00:23:29,008
Is that true?
478
00:23:29,010 --> 00:23:31,020
What? No.
I don't know.
479
00:23:32,001 --> 00:23:34,011
I didn't, like, come up
with that word.
480
00:23:34,015 --> 00:23:36,015
But I could tell you
probably what it means.
481
00:23:36,019 --> 00:23:37,999
This feels very mean!
482
00:23:38,003 --> 00:23:40,023
Yeah, I would be interested
to go back and see
483
00:23:40,019 --> 00:23:43,999
how often in the transcript
of your confession
484
00:23:44,004 --> 00:23:47,024
with the police,
did you come up with the details
485
00:23:47,020 --> 00:23:50,020
or did the police
get really creative?
486
00:23:50,018 --> 00:23:51,998
Better question,
487
00:23:52,003 --> 00:23:53,023
is your baby-blue existence
in this courtroom
488
00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:56,010
due to the fact that you were
coerced by the police
489
00:23:56,015 --> 00:23:57,995
into agreeing
with the fabricated lies?
490
00:23:58,002 --> 00:24:00,022
-Objection.
-Sustained.
491
00:24:00,022 --> 00:24:03,012
That's okay.
Don't worry, Polly.
492
00:24:03,008 --> 00:24:06,998
I'm finished, because it's clear
to everyone in this courtroom
493
00:24:07,005 --> 00:24:08,005
what's going on right about now.
494
00:24:08,016 --> 00:24:11,006
[ Whispering ]
You coached her.
495
00:24:11,016 --> 00:24:13,016
-Thank you.
-You're welcome.
496
00:24:17,003 --> 00:24:26,013
♪♪
497
00:24:26,007 --> 00:24:29,017
[ Crunch, glass clinking ]
498
00:24:29,019 --> 00:24:30,019
[ Whimpering ]
499
00:24:30,023 --> 00:24:32,013
[ Screaming ]
500
00:24:32,016 --> 00:24:35,006
Mom!
501
00:24:35,010 --> 00:24:37,010
Help! Mommy!
502
00:24:37,012 --> 00:24:40,022
[ Camera shutter clicking ]
503
00:24:40,019 --> 00:24:41,999
[ Continues screaming ]
504
00:24:42,003 --> 00:24:44,023
[ Continues screaming ]
♪ Did I ♪
505
00:24:44,017 --> 00:24:45,017
♪ Hear you screaming? ♪
506
00:24:45,017 --> 00:24:48,017
Mommy, help me, please! Mommy!
♪ Did I see ♪
507
00:24:48,023 --> 00:24:52,013
♪ You dancing? ♪
508
00:24:52,015 --> 00:24:53,995
♪ Did you see ♪
509
00:24:54,003 --> 00:24:57,023
♪ That boy crying? ♪
510
00:24:57,019 --> 00:25:00,009
♪ I saw him ♪
511
00:25:00,008 --> 00:25:02,018
♪ I'm not laughing ♪