[ Sighs ]
Come on.
Pick up, pick up, pick up,
pick up, pick up.
Hey, guys,
this is Portia.
I'm probably on set,
'cause I'm a working actor.
Please leave me a message.
Hey, Portia.
Uh, this is Drew Gardner.
Look, Dory didn't come home
last night,
and I'm not sure where she's at.
If you know where she is
or anything of that nature,
please just give me a call back.
Elliott Goss.
You're probably still asleep
or something --
I'm starting to get
really worried.
Please call me when you wake up.
[ Sighs ]
[ Cellphone beeps ]
[ Cellphone rings ]
Hello, who is this?
Uh, hi.
Um, this is Drew Gardner.
Is Dory there with you?
D-Dory, quick.
Put on your clothes.
Your boyfriend
is catching on to us.
Hey, is she there?
Is this for real?
Dude, calm down.
Uh, I don't mean to put this
on you or anything like that,
but Dory didn't come home
last night,
and I don't know where she is,
and I just, um, I feel like
she's fully missing
and I'm kind of freaking out.
Yeah,
I'm sure she's fine.
She's not fine, Julian.
I'm telling you she's not fine.
-Whoa, whoa.
All I'm saying is if
a girl doesn't come home,
she spent the night
somewhere.
Um...
Wait, you think
that she's cheating on me?
You think
she's cheating on you.
That's why you called me.
[ Cellphone beeps ]
[ Train rattles ]
You ignorant bitch.
You let me die?
Lorraine.
No.
I didn't mean to.
I'm dead, Dory.
Dead. Okay?
And you know I didn't jump
in front of that train.
You know
that they pushed me.
[ Gasps ]
Chantal!
Oh, Dory.
Why didn't you save Lorraine?
Now we're all gonna die.
You know that they're gonna
push you, too.
You know
they're gonna kill you.
Who?
Who's gonna kill me?
Who?! Who?!!
Hey, sleepyhead.
H-how long
have I been out?
Uh, since, like,
tape 3 of about 5,000.
Look at this.
What is that?
I don't even know
how to Google this crap.
I can't believe you saw Chantal
at this shit hole.
I wish you would
have woken me up.
Yeah, I figured
you needed the shuteye.
-What time is it?
-It's late.
Oh, shit.
Shit, shit, shit.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
-What's the matter?
Shit.
Uh, I-I just have to go.
-What?
-I have to go.
No, you don't have to go.
Yes, I do.
I have to.
Wait a sec.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
Hey, hey.
-Yeah.
I want to tell you
something here.
Now, I know we're looking
for Chantal,
and we're gonna find her,
but I'm also very, very,
very happy that I found you.
[ Sighs ]
-Huh?
-Yeah.
I just got to get my bag.
Yeah, great.
Agnes Cho.
What?
It's Agnes fucking Cho.
So I need some advice
really quick.
I accidentally passed out
at Keith's last night
and woke up to, like,
5,000 texts from Drew.
But Drew hasn't been
texting you, right?
He, uh, he called.
I was asleep.
Okay, so I was thinking
of writing like,
"Hey, sorry I didn't call
last night.
Lorraine died."
No, no, no, no, no.
Don't apologize.
Okay, say you were with me
and, um, okay.
You know how
you can spend the night
at the Natural
History Museum?
Say you were at one
of those sleepovers
and your phone died.
Easy, boom.
What do I tell him when he asks
why I didn't tell him
something earlier about it?
Just say you did tell him
and he wasn't listening.
Will that work?
It's so obviously a lie.
Dory, if you believe it,
he'll believe it.
[ Door opens ]
[ Sighs ]
Dory, Jesus.
What the...?
What, you're not missing?
What?
Why would I be missing?
Okay.
I'm sorry.
Where have you been
all night?
At the museum
with Elliott.
What are you talking
about, Dory?
Drew, I told you.
I was gonna spend the night
at the Natural History Museum
with Elliott.
You did?
Yeah.
You really --
you don't remember?
No. I don't remember that.
No.
I told you at dinner
the other night.
God, I guess you
just weren't listening.
I guess, yeah.
I guess
I wasn't listening.
Wait, Dory, why didn't you
answer any of my texts?
Oh, my phone.
It just died.
Oh, your phone --
your phone died.
Jesus, Dory.
I was so worried about you.
Okay, I was freaking out.
I called everybody we know.
What if something
happened to you?
I didn't know.
Well, nothing did.
Look, I'm okay.
Why didn't you
just call me?
I'm sorry.
My phone died, okay?
Okay.
But look, I just -- I was
where I said I'd be, right?
Yeah.
Hey, where's
your sleeping bag?
What?
I mean, so you went
to the museum.
I mean, wouldn't you
bring a sleeping bag?
Oh, no.
We just kind of, like,
curled up, you know?
It was kind of uncomfortable,
actually, but...
Okay,
why would you do that?
I mean, we have
sleeping bags here.
Why wouldn't you use
one of those?
Do you want to go to the zoo
with me?
What?!
I think Agnes Cho knows
something about Chantal,
so I'm gonna go over there
and ask her some questions.
Dory, no!
I would -- I thought you were
done with this stuff!
Okay, I don't understand.
Why don't I know anything
that's happening
around here anymore?
I know
you asked me to stop,
and I said I would,
but I can't.
I'm too close
to finding her, Drew.
So I'm gonna go
to the zoo.
And I really hope
you'll come with me.
I'm not gonna let you go
to the zoo alone,
so I'm gonna go.
-Great.
But, hey,
I'm not in a good mood.
I'd really like that.
[ Sighs ]
Hey, Dor?
I'm really glad
you're not missing.
I don't know
what you're talking about.
I have you on tape, Agnes.
It wasn't me.
Hey, do you mind if I feed
the little guy something,
like a banana
or something?
-No!
-Okay, yeah.
Agnes,
Chantal is in danger.
Do you understand?
Her life is in danger.
[ Monkey chirps ]
$5,000.
What are you
talking about?
I'll tell you where Chantal
is if you give me $5,000.
-Whoa.
-It's not for me!
It's for these
magnificent creatures,
some of whom will die
unless they receive
pricey medicines
and acupuncture treatments
that the stupid zoo board
won't authorize.
Right.
Of course.
I mean,
that's so sad, Agnes.
That is so sad. It is,
but, I mean, $5,000?
You know what I -- I mean,
c-could you just --
could you just tell me?
Please?
Just tell me.
If you're as serious about this
as you say you are,
you'll cooperate.
[ Sighs ]
[ Monkey chirps ]
Fine.
Drew: Dory, where are we
gonna get $5,000?
I don't know,
but I'm not letting
some basic bitch
slow me down.
You guys know how I'm, like,
a really good friend.
-You're a great friend.
-You are.
Um, you know, I mean, Portia,
how many times have I had
to, you know, FedEx
your birth control?
Remember that one time in Tulum?
Oh, my God.
Yes.
Ugh, concierge
would not pull out.
Right.
And Elliott, you know,
it's been a hard week and I
haven't left your side, right?
[ Sighs ]
Yeah.
Even after, you know,
we discovered
that you'd been bold-faced lying
to us for years
about overcoming a terminal
illness that you never had.
-For sure, yeah.
-Mm.
So I need your guys' help.
-Of course!
-Absolutely, Dory.
-Come on.
-We'll do anything.
So pretty much, Agnes Cho
knows where Chantal is.
-[ Gasps ]
-What?
Yeah.
And she's willing to tell me.
-That's amazing.
-Yeah.
But she wants $5,000.
-What?
-I know it's a lot,
but I would never ask you guys
for this
if it wasn't an emergency.
You know that.
And you guys, obviously,
you know...
you got a budget.
So [exhales deeply]
what do you think?
[ Both chuckle ]
-Yeah.
-Yeah?
-No.
We're gonna take a second.
Okay, you're gonna give her
the money?
Oh, my God.
I don't want to.
I feel bad.
I'm like, it's not for Dory.
It's for Chantal,
and if it were for Dory,
like, I would give it to her
in a heartbeat.
-100% agree.
-Okay, so, united front.
We're not giving
our best friend a dime.
-Yes.
-Okay.
God, I would never
ask this of you.
I would never ask this
of you.
-I love you.
-I love you, too.
So, Dory, first of all,
we love you unconditionally.
Thank you. You too.
Okay, and we support you 100%.
And we are gonna do
anything for you --
anything,
forever, forever.
-As long as it's non-financial.
-Mm-hmm.
-Seriously?
-Dory, I'm so sorry.
I'm, like, a successful
and gorgeous actress,
but, like, I have these
leeches in my life --
agent,
manager, publicist,
business manager, lawyer,
that just --
95% off the top
of every paycheck.
I'm sorry.
I'm poor.
I know, like,
I have a book deal,
and that's "huge" or whatever,
you know,
but the advance hasn't even
come in yet, okay?
Also, like, between you and me,
like, my parents pay
my cellphone bill,
and everything else that I need.
Yeah.
Just we were so close.
Okay.
Dory, calm down.
Don't kick my furniture, please.
Hold on a minute.
Who do we know that has money?
What about Gail?
No, I d--
I-I-I-I-I quit Gail's.
-Okay.
-Oh, God.
Um...
What if we blackmailed
Nanny Daddy?
H-How?
What do you mean?
Look, I mean, I saw the guy
take a photo up a woman's skirt
on public transit,
so if he has one picture,
I'm willing to bet
he's got 1,000 of these things.
Okay, I love-love-love-love
this idea.
I mean, do you have
any proof of it, though?
Well, no.
So what happens
if he asks for evidence?
-You bluff.
-You mean lie.
Bluff's another word
for lying.
Yeah, when are you nerds
gonna accept
that lying is a tool, okay?
And learn to love it
because nothing in this world
is real or true?
Right, Dory?
Didn't we talk about that at
the museum of Natural History?
Yes, I-I think we were.
Mm-hmm.
Oh!
Guys, I just remembered.
I think
I actually still have
the business card
of Nanny Daddy
in my jacket pocket
from the vigil!
Remember?
-Okay.
-This is great.
-This might be good.
This might work.
Drew, what's going on?
Why are you
rubbing your ears?
You think you can do this?
-Yeah, sorry.
I mean, yeah,
I think I can do it.
I just, um, you know,
I want to have a plan "B"
just in case
this doesn't work out.
Okay.
I mean, my first instinct
was just to go straight
to the family.
You know, just ask them,
but I don't know where they are.
Should we just, like --
we're not gonna go Chappaqua
and just, like,
wait outside in the car.
Okay, I actually follow her
entire family on social media.
They are so weirdly boring,
it's amazing.
Cool. I don't think
that's a good idea.
I mean, at this point, Dory,
the family hates you.
Dory, Dory,
they're in town right now.
They're at that bridal shop.
-Oh, shit.
I think we just go.
-Yeah, I don't think you go.
And we talk to them
before they leave town.
I'm gonna go with Dory, 'cause
I'm really good with families.
-True.
-[ Groans ] Oh, no.
[ Sighs ]
Hey, what's happening?
You definitely
wouldn't understand.
What do you think?
You look so pretty,
honey.
[ Sighs ]
Thanks.
My only sadness is that
your sister's not here.
I know.
Okay.
I feel too nervous.
I feel like
they're gonna remember me.
Do you want me
to do the talking?
I'm not nervous at all.
-Yes.
-Okay.
-Thank you.
It's open!
Here it is.
This is my little dick.
-Whoa!
-Aah!
Who -- who the hell is this?
I'm gonna need you to put
your pants on, Chuck.
Hi,
Mr. and Mrs. Witherbottom.
Yes?
Hi, um, this is gonna
sound insane,
but I know someone
who knows where Chantal is,
and unfortunately, that person
is asking for $5,000.
Um, so, essentially, if you
want to know where Chantal is,
you need to give me
$5,000.
Hey, guys. This is the dress
I'm getting married in!
[ Chuckles ]
So, Chuck, does your, uh,
wife, Miranda, know
that you like to sext
younger women?
Like she gives a shit.
Oh, yeah.
'Cause I actually think
she might give a shit
about this, Chuck.
Who is this bozo?
That bozo is the FBI's
most favorite hacker.
He knows all your sad
little hobbies,
and, frankly,
is pretty pissed.
Frankly, I would say
absolutely I am pissed.
Okay, and, uh,
I actually run
the Dark Web,
you little prick.
So I think you might want to be
a little bit nicer to me,
first off, and you know
what I have here?
I actually have a hard drive
right here
with hundreds, mm, actually
thousands of pictures
up the skirts of women,
taken by you.
Right here
on the hard drive.
What do you want from me?
We want $5,000.
[ Laughs ]
Hey, we want $5,000!
-You think this is funny?
-You little prick.
Yeah, you got 30 seconds.
Not 20, 30.
Yeah?
Or what?
Okay, so that hard drive
becomes your one-way
easy pass to jail.
You lose, like, your kids,
your job, reputation.
Like, that sounds horrible
to me, don't you think, Chuck?
I think it sounds
like total crap to me.
Yeah, that's bad. So you got,
uh, 29 -- 28!
-Uh-oh. This is bad, Chuck.
-27, 26...
The numbers are going down.
-Damn it.
-...25.
If the numbers were up,
that would be good.
-Get out the pen, Chuck.
-There you go.
-24!
-I need a pen. I need a pen.
I have a pen right --
chill out!
You need to chill!
[ Sighs ]
$5,000?
Did I stutter?
$5,000.
And another thing.
While you're at it?
Make that out
to Agnes Cho.
I don't know what scam
you think you're pulling,
but this family has been through
too much already,
all right?
-Totally.
So I'm gonna
ask you just once
to get
your ass out of here.
Dory: No, no, no.
Sorry, sorry.
Excuse me.
I'm sorry.
This is not a scam.
I promise you, okay?
I know you.
How do I know you?
Okay. Please don't get upset,
all right?
But this is very good news.
Okay?
Oh, look.
It's Keith, see?
I have been working
with Keith.
Who the hell is Keith?
The private investigator
you guys hired --
Keith Powell.
We didn't hire
a private investigator,
and I don't know
who Keith Powell is.
You're the girl who put on
my sweater.
All right,
somebody call the police.
I am sick of this.
I am sick of all of it.
That won't be necessary,
because we are gonna be leaving.
-You know Keith.
-Come on, Dory.
Don't worry about it,
Dory.
Elliott, Elliott, if they
don't know who Keith is,
who the fuck is Keith?
I don't know.
Thank you so much.
And -- and -- and I didn't
even Google him, El.
I never even Googled him.
Don't tell them.
I want to tell them.
-No, I'm not gonna tell them.
-He was, like, stalking me.
-Hey.
I'm sorry, babe.
Look.
Anytime you even talked
about the guy,
I knew something
was strange.
-Yeah.
I just feel kind of sick
about it all.
I mean, I don't know
who this person is
that I've been talking to.
You know, he could be
a part of the cult.
-Yeah.
-You know, that was the one time
he didn't want to come over
and help
was when we went
to the cult that one day.
Honestly don't know what to say.
Yeah, I don't -- I don't
have anything exciting, really,
to say, or, you know,
it was like...
Except for that
[Singsong voice]
Mama got the money.
Mama got the money!
Elliott: Oh, my God.
Portia.
I got the m-- I did it.
-You did it? Oh, my God.
-Oh, my God.
Oh, God. Drew was, like,
supporting character.
He was like,
"I'm a dark web man,"
or, like,
"I am the dark web!"
It was something
about the dark web.
-Oh, my God. I love you.
-I love you, too.
Oh, it feels so good
to feel accomplished.
-Okay, so let's go to the zoo.
-Yeah!
-Right?
-Before they close.
-I love the zoo.
-Can I just say something?
There is a lot going on
right now,
but this is very, very,
very, very, very exciting!
[ Laughs ]
Agnes: How do I know
if this check is any good?
Oh, I mean, we emotionally
abused a man to get that.
Tell me where she is,
Agnes.
She's in Montreal.
Montreal.
Why?
I don't know.
She said she couldn't talk
about it
and I respected that.
She was always crying
and scared.
[ Cellphone vibrating ]
Oh, shit.
It's him.
-No, no, no.
-Don't pick up.
No, I already told him
I was coming here.
I have to talk to him.
Please,
do not pick this up.
-Okay, he's dangerous.
-I'll be able to handle him.
Dory, you don't know
what he's capable of.
Well, I'm gonna have to talk
to him eventually!
Hey, you guys have to go.
All your busy energy is
upsetting Amelia Earhart.
She seems fine.
Okay. Guys, what we need to do
right now
is we need to pack.
Make sure you get
your passports.
Get my passport, okay?
And then I'm gonna go
borrow Gail's car,
and then we're all gonna
meet up at Keith's.
I'm gonna text you the address.
-I said out, now!
-Stop.
[ Opera music playing ]
What is happening?
Gail. Hi.
I'm sorry to scare you.
It's Dory.
Hi.
-Hi.
-I'm sorry.
I'm having an emergency
right now,
and I didn't know
who else to go to.
You've always been
so helpful.
-I missed you so much.
-Oh, thanks.
Guess what?
We found out where Chantal is.
-Yay!
-Yeah, I know.
Where is she?
She's in Canada.
I know.
So we have to go get her,
but listen, Gail.
I need your car
to go get Chantal.
-Of course!
-Yeah?
Ah, thank you
so much, Gail.
Of course.
You go get Chanel,
bring her back here.
Thank you, Gail.
Thank you.
Yeah. Yes!
Go! Go get her!
Go get her! Okay.
Go get Chanel.
If I'm not out of there
in 10 minutes,
you call the police,
okay?
Dory, I'm giving you
five minutes, tops.
Okay.
-Please be careful.
-We love you, Dor!
-Be careful, Dory.
-We love you.
-This is so scary.
-Mm. I don't like this.
[ Knock on door ]
Oh, there you are.
Thought
you were ignoring me.
I would
really appreciate it
if you would respond
to my texts and my calls.
I don't like
playing games.
You're right.
I should have responded.
I'm sorry.
I'm -- I'm so sorry.
Okay.
Yeah, all right.
-Yeah.
-Thanks for apologizing.
-Yeah.
-You rule.
So, Agnes told me
where Chantal is.
Where?
Miami.
Miami?
Yeah.
That doesn't sound right.
You sure?
Yeah.
I-I-I'm positive.
Yeah.
S-she said she's in Miami.
She's, like, hiding out
at some naval base
or something.
-In Miami?
-Yeah.
Oh, okay.
Maybe, uh...
I was thinking,
maybe you should call
the Witherbottoms.
Don't you think?
'Cause I feel like
they're probably pretty anxious
to hear from you.
No, I don't think
that's a very good idea,
not until we have Chantal
actually in our hands.
-Right.
-Okay?
I don't want to get them
all worked up,
for all we know,
Chantal is dead.
Okay, I actually just realized
that I haven't eaten all day,
and I am --
I am literally starving.
So I'm just gonna pop
in this bodega over here
if y'all don't mind.
Yes!
Can you get me a kombucha?
Winterfresh?
-Wait, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Nobody's leaving the car,
okay?
The second Dory gets out
of there and in this car,
we're speeding away.
-Oh, come on.
-That's it.
No, it's only gonna take
two seconds.
Drew, it's gonna take,
like, two seconds,
and he's gonna make our trip --
No, you selfish dipshits!
Okay?
Get whatever you want --
gum or juice or something --
in Montreal.
Nobody's leaving the car.
Oh, my God.
I'm sorry,
but stay in the car.
Okay. So they do have 6:00 a.m.
flights to Miami,
which means we got
a couple hours to kill.
All right?
-Oh, yeah.
Um, you know what?
I really want to make sure
I have time to get home
first, though, so...
You know, I can't stop
thinking about you, Dory.
Just going crazy thinking
about you wrapping those legs
around me,
pulling me inside you.
Yeah.
Moving your hips
back and forth.
Yeah. Good, I'm so crazy
about you, too, but, you know,
I really want to get home
first, because,
um, I got to -- I got to break
up with Drew, you know?
I don't want to keep
lying to him, so...
No, you can't.
It's killing you.
Yeah. Um...
Yeah, I wish I didn't
have to go, but I do.
I just, I have to go,
'cause I know Drew's
waiting for me, so...
Drew!
Drew, Drew, Drew.
I hate that guy.
You're leaving
all the time.
You're leaving.
-I know.
I'm sorry, but I'm g--
I'm gonna see you
first thing in the morning,
right?
-We should go in there.
-And do what, Drew?
-And get him.
-Stop.
What does that mean,
"get him"?
Collect him?
-Get him! Yeah, get the guy.
-[ Sighs ]
-I'm gonna go in there.
I'm going in.
-I'm sorry, is that a taser?
-Yeah, it's a taser, okay?
-Why?
Drew, what are you doing
with a taser?
-To tase the guy!
-Stop! Drew.
You have wiggly wrists.
-Okay, go, go.
-Dory, you're back.
-Let's go.
-Are you okay?
-Yeah.
Okay, cool.
What happened?
Just go!
Elliott: I'm overheating.
I'm overheating.
Heads up, your boyfriend
carries a taser.
Yeah, I know.
Okay, this is bonkers.
♪ I thought the future
would be cooler ♪
♪ I thought the future
would be cooler ♪
♪ I thought the brave world
would be newer ♪
♪ I thought the future
would be cooler ♪
♪ Loving comes easy ♪
♪ Liking it ain't free ♪