1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:03,958
[serene tone]
2
00:00:04,791 --> 00:00:06,875
[bright music]
3
00:00:06,958 --> 00:00:10,208
- ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
4
00:00:10,291 --> 00:00:13,041
- [gasps]
- Oh, my God!
5
00:00:13,125 --> 00:00:14,333
You know what?
6
00:00:14,416 --> 00:00:16,125
I'm actually so excited
college is over.
7
00:00:16,208 --> 00:00:17,208
- Me too.
- You know what I mean?
8
00:00:17,291 --> 00:00:18,500
I'm ready to enter, like,
9
00:00:18,583 --> 00:00:20,375
an easier part of my life.
- Yeah.
10
00:00:20,458 --> 00:00:21,708
- [squeals]
- Uh, hi.
11
00:00:21,791 --> 00:00:23,041
We're picking up
our drink tickets
12
00:00:23,125 --> 00:00:24,833
under Elliott Goss
and Portia Davenport.
13
00:00:24,916 --> 00:00:26,250
- We graduated.
[laughs]
14
00:00:26,333 --> 00:00:28,750
We're graduates.
- I'm not seeing your name.
15
00:00:28,833 --> 00:00:30,916
Elliott Goss, right?
16
00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:32,625
- Okay, that's weird
you don't have my name.
17
00:00:32,708 --> 00:00:34,541
Um, School of Poli-Sci?
18
00:00:34,625 --> 00:00:36,125
- Yeah, no.
- No.
19
00:00:36,208 --> 00:00:38,041
- You always have the weirdest
luck with this stuff.
20
00:00:38,125 --> 00:00:39,458
- You know what?
Just give me the tickets.
21
00:00:39,541 --> 00:00:41,291
It doesn't matter anyway.
- Portia!
22
00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:42,791
- [gasps]
- Hi!
23
00:00:42,875 --> 00:00:44,666
We nabbed a table and got
you guys beers.
24
00:00:44,750 --> 00:00:46,166
- You guys!
Oh, my God!
25
00:00:46,250 --> 00:00:49,166
Oh, my God!
- Guys, we graduated!
26
00:00:49,250 --> 00:00:50,500
- [laughs]
27
00:00:50,583 --> 00:00:52,875
- We're, like,
officially adults now.
28
00:00:52,958 --> 00:00:54,791
- Don't say that, Drewski.
I don't wanna be an adult.
29
00:00:54,875 --> 00:00:57,625
I just wanna be, like,
a baby in a womb.
30
00:00:57,708 --> 00:00:59,083
[laughter]
- Oh, sorry.
31
00:00:59,166 --> 00:01:00,416
- Oh, it's okay.
32
00:01:00,500 --> 00:01:02,041
- Yeah.
- I have to admit.
33
00:01:02,125 --> 00:01:05,416
Um, I'm weirdly feeling
very hopeful.
34
00:01:05,500 --> 00:01:06,916
- Hmm.
- You are?
35
00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:08,583
Make me feel like that.
- Come on, look at us.
36
00:01:08,666 --> 00:01:11,166
I mean, Portia,
you're such an amazing actress.
37
00:01:11,250 --> 00:01:12,375
- Aww.
- Stop!
38
00:01:12,458 --> 00:01:13,791
- It's so true.
both: It's true.
39
00:01:13,875 --> 00:01:15,250
- When you walk
on to the stage, like,
40
00:01:15,333 --> 00:01:17,291
you just radiate
this unique light.
41
00:01:17,375 --> 00:01:18,791
- Aww.
- And Elliott--
42
00:01:18,875 --> 00:01:21,000
- Don't.
[laughter]
43
00:01:21,083 --> 00:01:25,000
- You're so smart,
and you read people so well.
44
00:01:25,083 --> 00:01:26,916
You just understand them,
you know?
45
00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:29,000
There's no way that you're not
gonna be influential.
46
00:01:29,083 --> 00:01:31,500
- Okay, Dory, I'm gonna cry.
Stop it!
47
00:01:31,583 --> 00:01:34,333
- And Drew...
- Yes?
48
00:01:34,416 --> 00:01:36,708
- You're just--
you're so sensitive
49
00:01:36,791 --> 00:01:38,458
but grounded, you know?
50
00:01:38,541 --> 00:01:39,958
I feel like people
in the business world
51
00:01:40,041 --> 00:01:42,833
are just gonna have
to make way for you
52
00:01:42,916 --> 00:01:46,666
because you're gonna be
the biggest-hearted human being
53
00:01:46,750 --> 00:01:49,333
Wall Street has ever seen.
54
00:01:49,416 --> 00:01:51,333
- I love you.
- I love you too.
55
00:01:51,416 --> 00:01:52,833
- Oh!
- Cute!
56
00:01:52,916 --> 00:01:53,875
- I just wanna say
that I think
57
00:01:53,958 --> 00:01:56,000
we're gonna do and make
58
00:01:56,083 --> 00:01:58,208
really beautiful things,
59
00:01:58,291 --> 00:02:01,166
and have amazing lives,
and you're my family.
60
00:02:01,250 --> 00:02:02,500
- Aww!
61
00:02:02,583 --> 00:02:04,208
- To our family
and to our amazing lives!
62
00:02:04,291 --> 00:02:07,000
all: To our family
and our amazing lives!
63
00:02:07,083 --> 00:02:08,250
[all cheer]
64
00:02:15,416 --> 00:02:18,375
[Purity Ring's "Obedear"]
65
00:02:18,458 --> 00:02:25,208
♪ ♪
66
00:02:25,291 --> 00:02:29,875
- ♪ Oh, but dear,
the sky is low, watch ♪
67
00:02:29,958 --> 00:02:33,625
♪ Fluent seamen rig
their rudders so they'll... ♪
68
00:02:33,708 --> 00:02:35,500
[bell dings]
69
00:02:37,541 --> 00:02:38,708
[lock clicks]
70
00:02:38,791 --> 00:02:41,375
- Bon appétit, mademoiselle.
71
00:02:41,458 --> 00:02:44,708
I threw an extra nugget
in today!
72
00:02:44,791 --> 00:02:47,083
It was the last one
in the bag.
73
00:02:47,166 --> 00:02:49,416
I mean, why not?
[chuckles]
74
00:02:55,958 --> 00:02:59,000
[ominous music]
75
00:02:59,083 --> 00:03:06,250
♪ ♪
76
00:03:07,083 --> 00:03:08,666
[bell ding]
77
00:03:13,666 --> 00:03:16,375
- [muffled screaming]
Can anybody hear me?
78
00:03:16,458 --> 00:03:18,333
[screams]
79
00:03:18,416 --> 00:03:20,541
Help!
80
00:03:20,625 --> 00:03:22,583
Help me!
81
00:03:22,666 --> 00:03:24,083
Hello?
82
00:03:24,166 --> 00:03:25,958
Can anybody hear me?
83
00:03:26,041 --> 00:03:28,583
[muffled screaming]
Help me!
84
00:03:28,666 --> 00:03:30,458
Can anybody hear me?
85
00:03:30,541 --> 00:03:33,583
[screaming]
86
00:03:33,666 --> 00:03:37,208
- ♪ Groove is in the heart ♪
- [screams]
87
00:03:37,291 --> 00:03:41,250
- ♪ Groove is in the heart ♪
88
00:03:41,333 --> 00:03:44,958
♪ Groove is in the heart ♪
- [whimpers]
89
00:03:45,041 --> 00:03:48,208
[children whooping]
90
00:03:49,583 --> 00:03:52,916
- Yeah!
Whoo!
91
00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:54,958
[dramatic music playing]
92
00:03:55,041 --> 00:03:57,041
- [grunts]
93
00:03:57,125 --> 00:03:58,458
[laughs]
- [groans]
94
00:03:58,541 --> 00:03:59,541
- [grunts]
95
00:03:59,625 --> 00:04:01,916
♪ ♪
96
00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:03,833
[grunts]
all: Oh!
97
00:04:03,916 --> 00:04:05,166
- Hey, hey, hey!
- Ha-ha!
98
00:04:05,250 --> 00:04:07,541
Too slow this time,
Prince Grisly!
99
00:04:07,625 --> 00:04:09,791
I'll win the heart
of the beautiful maiden yet.
100
00:04:09,875 --> 00:04:12,416
Who could love
an unsightly animal like you?
101
00:04:12,500 --> 00:04:14,583
[laughs menacingly]
- Ahh!
102
00:04:14,666 --> 00:04:15,833
- Ahh!
103
00:04:15,916 --> 00:04:17,750
- Get him, Prince Grisly!
Yeah!
104
00:04:17,833 --> 00:04:19,125
Get him!
105
00:04:19,208 --> 00:04:21,958
- [grunting]
- Ahh!
106
00:04:22,041 --> 00:04:25,500
- Damn it, Gustave.
Falling is for amateurs.
107
00:04:25,583 --> 00:04:28,375
But you--you, man--
you were amazing!
108
00:04:28,458 --> 00:04:30,000
Best Prince Grisly
we've ever had.
109
00:04:30,083 --> 00:04:31,416
You nailed it, bro!
110
00:04:31,500 --> 00:04:33,791
- [panting]
Thanks, man.
111
00:04:33,875 --> 00:04:35,833
I love it!
I love it so much!
112
00:04:35,916 --> 00:04:37,333
I mean, did you see those kids?
113
00:04:37,416 --> 00:04:39,791
They're just, like,
laughing and smiling.
114
00:04:39,875 --> 00:04:43,833
I could do this for the rest
of my goddamn life.
115
00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:48,000
- Holy shit.
Are you okay, Andrew?
116
00:04:49,333 --> 00:04:50,500
- Oh, yeah.
117
00:04:50,583 --> 00:04:53,208
I'm just--
I'm hot from the hat.
118
00:04:53,291 --> 00:04:54,625
- But shouldn't you
be used to heat, though?
119
00:04:54,708 --> 00:04:56,458
Didn't you say
you're from South Africa?
120
00:04:57,625 --> 00:04:59,875
- Yes, I am.
Yeah, I am from South Africa.
121
00:04:59,958 --> 00:05:01,291
- You know what's funny, dude?
122
00:05:01,375 --> 00:05:02,875
Sometimes I can hear
the accent in you,
123
00:05:02,958 --> 00:05:05,416
but I really gotta stretch
my ears for it, you know?
124
00:05:05,500 --> 00:05:07,166
[urinal flushes]
- Yeah, yeah.
125
00:05:07,250 --> 00:05:08,583
Actually,
a lot of people say that.
126
00:05:08,666 --> 00:05:10,000
It's, uh--
127
00:05:10,083 --> 00:05:12,375
it's because my parents
were American diplomats,
128
00:05:12,458 --> 00:05:15,000
so I just sort of inherited
their accent.
129
00:05:15,083 --> 00:05:16,875
- That's kind of cool, though.
[grunts]
130
00:05:16,958 --> 00:05:18,083
It makes you cut from
131
00:05:18,166 --> 00:05:20,000
a different kind of cloth,
you know?
132
00:05:20,833 --> 00:05:24,041
- Nah.
I'm one of y'all.
133
00:05:24,125 --> 00:05:26,250
I belong here.
134
00:05:26,333 --> 00:05:28,375
- Why did you do this to me?
135
00:05:28,458 --> 00:05:30,458
We were friends.
136
00:05:30,541 --> 00:05:32,375
We're friend--
we're your friends.
137
00:05:32,458 --> 00:05:35,083
Ugh.
Friends!
138
00:05:35,166 --> 00:05:36,416
[softly]
Why did you do this to me?
139
00:05:36,500 --> 00:05:39,041
We were friends!
Friends!
140
00:05:40,625 --> 00:05:41,916
We were friends.
141
00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:45,750
We were friends.
We were friends.
142
00:05:45,833 --> 00:05:49,083
Friends.
We were friends.
143
00:05:49,166 --> 00:05:50,916
- Name?
144
00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:53,125
- Hi.
Uh, Portia Davenport.
145
00:05:53,208 --> 00:05:55,791
- Yes, everyone's reading
for Portia Davenport,
146
00:05:55,875 --> 00:05:57,541
but what's your real name?
147
00:05:59,250 --> 00:06:02,416
- No, I am the real
Portia Davenport.
148
00:06:02,500 --> 00:06:03,916
[all gasp]
149
00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:05,708
- Oh, maybe
I am missing one.
150
00:06:05,791 --> 00:06:07,208
No, I don't have one.
151
00:06:07,291 --> 00:06:09,041
- Hi.
- Oh, gosh, hi!
152
00:06:09,125 --> 00:06:11,166
- Hi there.
- Portia Davenport.
153
00:06:11,250 --> 00:06:12,875
Such a pleasure.
Hi, Roger Carrots.
154
00:06:12,958 --> 00:06:14,458
- Hi, Mr. Carrots,
so nice to meet you.
155
00:06:14,541 --> 00:06:15,791
- Greg Carrots--big fan.
- Hi.
156
00:06:15,875 --> 00:06:17,041
- Yeah.
- Thank you.
157
00:06:17,125 --> 00:06:18,375
I'm so sorry,
you guys, for just,
158
00:06:18,458 --> 00:06:19,666
like, barging in on you
159
00:06:19,750 --> 00:06:21,208
like this,
completely unannounced.
160
00:06:21,291 --> 00:06:23,250
I just needed to talk to you
161
00:06:23,333 --> 00:06:25,291
because it was brought
to my attention
162
00:06:25,375 --> 00:06:27,750
that you are using my name
and my likeness
163
00:06:27,833 --> 00:06:31,541
in your film,
"Savage: The Dory Sief Story."
164
00:06:31,625 --> 00:06:34,250
- Portia, before we get too far
into that--actually,
165
00:06:34,333 --> 00:06:35,791
this is perfect timing.
- [clears throat]
166
00:06:35,875 --> 00:06:38,333
- Uh, Portia this is
our lawyer, Hugh Sneezer.
167
00:06:38,416 --> 00:06:40,708
- Hi, Mr. Sneezer, so nice to--
- Hello, Ms. Davenport.
168
00:06:40,791 --> 00:06:42,291
Put your hand away.
169
00:06:42,375 --> 00:06:44,125
Let me just get straight
to the point.
170
00:06:44,208 --> 00:06:46,916
As a public figure
in a very public trial,
171
00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:49,583
you have hardly any ground
to fight us on our right
172
00:06:49,666 --> 00:06:52,208
to portray you in any light
that we favor.
173
00:06:52,291 --> 00:06:54,291
And with all due respect,
174
00:06:54,375 --> 00:06:56,791
if you're interested
in pursuing legal action,
175
00:06:56,875 --> 00:06:58,833
I guarantee you it will be
176
00:06:58,916 --> 00:07:01,833
an enormous waste
of time and money.
177
00:07:01,916 --> 00:07:04,000
Do we have an understanding?
178
00:07:04,083 --> 00:07:06,916
- I was actually just hoping
I could audition.
179
00:07:08,041 --> 00:07:09,625
- Oh, audition.
- Yeah.
180
00:07:09,708 --> 00:07:12,666
I just really think
I could nail this part.
181
00:07:12,750 --> 00:07:14,125
It would be such an honor
182
00:07:14,208 --> 00:07:16,333
if I could prove myself
to you as Portia.
183
00:07:16,416 --> 00:07:18,916
- Well, this has been
an incredible waste of my time.
184
00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:20,916
I'll see you both in court.
- All right, bye.
185
00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:22,333
See you, Hugh.
- Bye, Hugh.
186
00:07:22,416 --> 00:07:23,791
- Bye, Hugh.
- Wow.
187
00:07:23,875 --> 00:07:26,583
I mean, what makes you wanna
play yourself?
188
00:07:26,666 --> 00:07:29,041
- I think it would
actually be very healing.
189
00:07:29,125 --> 00:07:31,000
I could kind of get
some closure, you know,
190
00:07:31,083 --> 00:07:33,500
really own it,
take my power back.
191
00:07:33,583 --> 00:07:34,791
You know what I mean?
192
00:07:34,875 --> 00:07:36,416
I think there's a lot
of dignity in that.
193
00:07:36,500 --> 00:07:37,666
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah.
194
00:07:37,750 --> 00:07:39,041
I mean, that's interesting.
195
00:07:39,125 --> 00:07:40,708
- Mm-hmm.
- That's very interesting.
196
00:07:40,791 --> 00:07:41,875
- Mm-hmm.
197
00:07:41,958 --> 00:07:42,958
- Um, of course,
198
00:07:43,041 --> 00:07:44,458
you would not have to audition.
199
00:07:44,541 --> 00:07:46,083
- Oh, okay.
- No, we would have
200
00:07:46,166 --> 00:07:49,041
to just talk amongst ourselves.
- Sure, yeah.
201
00:07:49,125 --> 00:07:51,041
- And then of course
with the network, Streamer.
202
00:07:51,125 --> 00:07:52,375
- Okay, well, thank you guys...
- Great!
203
00:07:52,458 --> 00:07:53,916
- So much for your time.
- Thank you.
204
00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:55,583
- Yes.
- Great energy in this room,
205
00:07:55,666 --> 00:07:57,083
by the way.
- And you too--thank you.
206
00:07:57,166 --> 00:07:59,375
- Thank you so much
for coming in.
207
00:07:59,458 --> 00:08:01,125
- Bye!
- There she goes. [laughs]
208
00:08:09,625 --> 00:08:11,541
[roars]
209
00:08:11,625 --> 00:08:14,000
- Okay, this is what
I'm talking about.
210
00:08:14,083 --> 00:08:16,708
Our planet is literally
a ticking time bomb,
211
00:08:16,791 --> 00:08:18,083
but the Republican Party
212
00:08:18,166 --> 00:08:20,583
is too busy demonizing
the disenfranchised
213
00:08:20,666 --> 00:08:23,583
to even pretend to care.
- Okay, I don't even know
214
00:08:23,666 --> 00:08:25,000
what I'm looking at.
- What?
215
00:08:25,083 --> 00:08:26,125
- What even was that
a video of?
216
00:08:26,208 --> 00:08:27,208
- Charlie, that was a video
217
00:08:27,291 --> 00:08:28,750
of one of the world's last
218
00:08:28,833 --> 00:08:30,375
prime glaciers eroding.
219
00:08:30,458 --> 00:08:31,791
- No, it wasn't.
- Yes, it was.
220
00:08:31,875 --> 00:08:33,958
- Our graphics department
made that, sloppily.
221
00:08:34,041 --> 00:08:35,458
That was the worst video
of mayonnaise
222
00:08:35,541 --> 00:08:37,583
being poured onto a plate
I have ever seen.
223
00:08:37,666 --> 00:08:38,625
[laughs]
224
00:08:38,708 --> 00:08:40,083
And the gullibility of the left
225
00:08:40,166 --> 00:08:41,500
is out of control.
- Oh!
226
00:08:41,583 --> 00:08:44,416
Okay, Charlie,
a very famous scientist,
227
00:08:44,500 --> 00:08:47,625
Eiricke Ludwig Hoggerman,
took that video yesterday.
228
00:08:47,708 --> 00:08:49,000
Honestly, girl,
just read a book...
229
00:08:49,083 --> 00:08:50,208
- Okay, yeah.
- Once in your life.
230
00:08:50,291 --> 00:08:51,708
- Hi.
I know who Eiricke is.
231
00:08:51,791 --> 00:08:53,750
He's a liar, just like you.
- Oh, Charlie,
232
00:08:53,833 --> 00:08:55,458
I'm actually really glad
you called me a liar
233
00:08:55,541 --> 00:08:56,875
because you're
the biggest liar out there.
234
00:08:56,958 --> 00:08:58,375
Your hair's a lie.
- No, it's not.
235
00:08:58,458 --> 00:08:59,500
- Your teeth are a lie.
- No, it's not.
236
00:08:59,583 --> 00:09:00,958
- Your ass is a lie.
237
00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:02,250
- No, it's not.
- It's all lie, lie, lie, lie,
238
00:09:02,333 --> 00:09:03,458
lie, lie, lie, lie, lie!
239
00:09:03,541 --> 00:09:04,625
- No, it's not.
- Oh, really?
240
00:09:04,708 --> 00:09:05,958
You sure about that?
Okay.
241
00:09:06,041 --> 00:09:07,291
Because I've actually
found some
242
00:09:07,375 --> 00:09:08,666
very interesting pictures
of you
243
00:09:08,750 --> 00:09:10,416
from 2014 that I'm sure
244
00:09:10,500 --> 00:09:12,083
our audience would love to see.
245
00:09:12,166 --> 00:09:14,625
[laughing]
246
00:09:14,708 --> 00:09:16,375
- Where did you get that?
- Facebook.
247
00:09:16,458 --> 00:09:18,166
- Where did you get that?
- Oh, my God!
248
00:09:18,250 --> 00:09:20,625
Oh, my God!
- [grunting]
249
00:09:20,708 --> 00:09:21,958
[screaming]
- Ahh!
250
00:09:22,041 --> 00:09:23,375
[laughs]
It's fake!
251
00:09:23,458 --> 00:09:25,083
It's fake!
- No, it's not!
252
00:09:25,166 --> 00:09:26,583
- Extensions!
253
00:09:26,666 --> 00:09:29,625
[suspenseful music]
254
00:09:29,708 --> 00:09:32,375
♪ ♪
255
00:09:32,458 --> 00:09:35,666
- [breathing heavily]
256
00:09:38,708 --> 00:09:41,125
Come on, sunshine.
257
00:09:41,208 --> 00:09:43,083
Time to get up.
258
00:09:45,583 --> 00:09:47,500
- I don't feel well.
259
00:09:50,750 --> 00:09:52,291
Why do you look like that?
260
00:09:52,375 --> 00:09:54,291
- Like what?
261
00:09:54,375 --> 00:09:55,541
Oh.
262
00:09:55,625 --> 00:09:57,833
Well, this is
my Aunt Lylah's house,
263
00:09:57,916 --> 00:09:59,166
so when I go into town,
264
00:09:59,250 --> 00:10:01,375
I have to dress in disguise
as her.
265
00:10:01,458 --> 00:10:03,208
- How old's your aunt?
266
00:10:03,291 --> 00:10:05,208
- Like, 70.
267
00:10:05,291 --> 00:10:07,625
- You think people think
268
00:10:07,708 --> 00:10:10,708
you could be in your 70s?
269
00:10:10,791 --> 00:10:12,583
- You know,
you don't seem sick!
270
00:10:13,958 --> 00:10:15,375
- It's my stomach.
271
00:10:15,458 --> 00:10:16,750
I don't think
I should be eating
272
00:10:16,833 --> 00:10:18,375
the same thing for every meal.
273
00:10:18,458 --> 00:10:21,458
It's making me sick.
- Consistency is good for you.
274
00:10:21,541 --> 00:10:24,250
Olympians eat the same thing
every day.
275
00:10:24,333 --> 00:10:26,416
Anyway...
276
00:10:26,500 --> 00:10:30,041
I came down here
because I wanted to show you
277
00:10:30,125 --> 00:10:33,458
something that I'm really
excited to show you.
278
00:10:33,541 --> 00:10:36,833
[unsettling music]
279
00:10:36,916 --> 00:10:43,666
♪ ♪
280
00:10:43,750 --> 00:10:46,083
- You made these?
- Mm-hmm.
281
00:10:47,875 --> 00:10:49,833
- Oh, they're actually
really good.
282
00:10:49,916 --> 00:10:53,916
♪ ♪
283
00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:55,875
Oh, wow.
284
00:10:57,458 --> 00:10:59,583
Oh, my God.
[breathes shakily]
285
00:10:59,666 --> 00:11:02,291
♪ ♪
286
00:11:02,375 --> 00:11:04,041
[whimpers]
287
00:11:04,125 --> 00:11:07,250
I'm so happy to see these.
I love them!
288
00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:08,708
- No!
- [gasps]
289
00:11:08,791 --> 00:11:11,750
- No!
Dory, you don't love them.
290
00:11:11,833 --> 00:11:14,375
You hate them!
291
00:11:14,458 --> 00:11:16,583
Dory,
292
00:11:16,666 --> 00:11:18,916
I made these
so that you could work through
293
00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:21,625
your trauma with them.
294
00:11:21,708 --> 00:11:24,916
So look at Drew.
295
00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:27,833
Look at him and tell him
296
00:11:27,916 --> 00:11:31,625
you hate what he did to you!
297
00:11:34,833 --> 00:11:37,750
[solemn music]
298
00:11:37,833 --> 00:11:41,250
♪ ♪
299
00:11:41,333 --> 00:11:44,500
- Hi, Drew.
- Hi, Dory.
300
00:11:46,083 --> 00:11:48,416
- It's so good to see you.
301
00:11:48,500 --> 00:11:50,458
I've missed you so much.
302
00:11:50,541 --> 00:11:53,250
- I missed you too.
I'm so glad you're okay.
303
00:11:53,333 --> 00:11:55,625
- [sniffles]
- Yeah.
304
00:11:55,708 --> 00:11:57,625
- [whimpers softly, sniffles]
305
00:11:57,708 --> 00:11:59,541
- [whispers] It's okay.
306
00:11:59,625 --> 00:12:01,458
- No!
No!
307
00:12:01,541 --> 00:12:02,791
Dory!
308
00:12:02,875 --> 00:12:04,458
You are never
going to get better
309
00:12:04,541 --> 00:12:06,875
if you're not willing
to put in the work!
310
00:12:07,875 --> 00:12:11,125
- What's wrong with you?
- Nothing's wrong with me.
311
00:12:11,208 --> 00:12:13,458
I have an extremely high IQ.
312
00:12:13,541 --> 00:12:17,291
I have a PhD in psychology,
an MFA in visual art,
313
00:12:17,375 --> 00:12:19,375
and a doctorate
in behavioral health,
314
00:12:19,458 --> 00:12:22,708
which should be proof enough
that I am perfectly capable
315
00:12:22,791 --> 00:12:24,333
of functioning in society.
316
00:12:24,416 --> 00:12:27,750
If anything's wrong with me...
317
00:12:27,833 --> 00:12:29,958
yeah, I guess,
maybe I was given
318
00:12:30,041 --> 00:12:31,958
a few too many options
growing up.
319
00:12:32,041 --> 00:12:34,500
Okay?
Because that's pressure!
320
00:12:35,291 --> 00:12:38,250
That's the pressure
of true privilege.
321
00:12:40,416 --> 00:12:42,500
- No.
That's not it, though.
322
00:12:42,583 --> 00:12:44,000
[sniffles]
323
00:12:44,083 --> 00:12:47,375
You're...psychotic.
324
00:12:47,458 --> 00:12:49,875
- I'm not a freak!
- I didn't call you a freak.
325
00:12:49,958 --> 00:12:51,458
- You called me a freak,
326
00:12:51,541 --> 00:12:52,750
and I'm not a freak!
327
00:12:52,833 --> 00:12:56,083
[ominous music]
328
00:12:56,166 --> 00:12:58,083
- Well, wait.
Can't I keep them?
329
00:12:58,166 --> 00:13:00,000
- No!
330
00:13:00,083 --> 00:13:03,291
You're the freak!
331
00:13:03,375 --> 00:13:04,791
- Good luck on your date, Phil.
332
00:13:04,875 --> 00:13:06,583
Don't be ashamed
of that dead tooth, okay?
333
00:13:06,666 --> 00:13:08,041
[chuckles]
- Elliott.
334
00:13:08,125 --> 00:13:09,166
- Oh.
[laughs]
335
00:13:09,250 --> 00:13:10,375
- Can Tina and I have your ear
336
00:13:10,458 --> 00:13:12,000
for a minute?
- Of course.
337
00:13:12,083 --> 00:13:13,166
- Let's cut to the chase,
Elliott.
338
00:13:13,250 --> 00:13:14,208
You're smart.
339
00:13:14,291 --> 00:13:15,250
People like you.
340
00:13:15,333 --> 00:13:16,875
There's something there.
341
00:13:16,958 --> 00:13:19,041
We just haven't quite
hooked into it yet,
342
00:13:19,125 --> 00:13:20,666
and I think what's perhaps
not working is,
343
00:13:20,750 --> 00:13:22,625
no one really wants to see
Blue State.
344
00:13:22,708 --> 00:13:23,875
- Huh.
- Believe it or not,
345
00:13:23,958 --> 00:13:25,750
our viewers are just not
interested
346
00:13:25,833 --> 00:13:27,750
in your political perspective.
347
00:13:29,208 --> 00:13:31,208
- I'll--I'll suck your dick.
348
00:13:32,166 --> 00:13:33,875
- Oh.
No, no.
349
00:13:33,958 --> 00:13:35,250
Thank you, though.
350
00:13:35,333 --> 00:13:37,166
That's a solution
to a different problem.
351
00:13:37,958 --> 00:13:40,833
Tina had an idea
I think might benefit us.
352
00:13:40,916 --> 00:13:42,916
Tina?
- So I was thinking,
353
00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:47,375
what if Elliott Goss
switched party lines,
354
00:13:47,458 --> 00:13:49,125
had a little change of heart,
355
00:13:49,208 --> 00:13:52,416
and came to see things
our way--the right way?
356
00:13:55,333 --> 00:13:56,500
- Wait, wait, wait.
357
00:13:56,583 --> 00:13:58,583
So--so are you telling me
that you want me
358
00:13:58,666 --> 00:14:00,625
to just become
fully conservative?
359
00:14:00,708 --> 00:14:02,375
- Two smart conservatives
360
00:14:02,458 --> 00:14:04,875
ranting about
the liberal politics--
361
00:14:04,958 --> 00:14:07,291
we'd call it "Right is Right."
362
00:14:08,708 --> 00:14:10,083
- Kay, wow.
363
00:14:10,166 --> 00:14:12,250
I guess I just need you guys
to understand
364
00:14:12,333 --> 00:14:13,958
that what you're asking me
to do
365
00:14:14,041 --> 00:14:16,125
is quite frankly unholy,
366
00:14:16,208 --> 00:14:17,875
and I'm honestly
a little offended
367
00:14:17,958 --> 00:14:19,708
that you think I would
just abandon my values
368
00:14:19,791 --> 00:14:20,875
so flippantly like that.
369
00:14:20,958 --> 00:14:22,291
So...
- We understand that.
370
00:14:22,375 --> 00:14:24,416
- Mm-hmm.
- And if you'd like to pursue
371
00:14:24,500 --> 00:14:26,625
an anchor position
at another reputable network,
372
00:14:26,708 --> 00:14:27,916
we understand that as well.
373
00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:29,666
It just might be
a little difficult
374
00:14:29,750 --> 00:14:31,541
for a lying piece of trash
personality
375
00:14:31,625 --> 00:14:32,875
such as yourself.
376
00:14:32,958 --> 00:14:34,750
I fear you may find
your options
377
00:14:34,833 --> 00:14:37,291
are a little limited.
378
00:14:37,375 --> 00:14:39,125
Up to you.
379
00:14:39,208 --> 00:14:40,583
- [laughs]
380
00:14:40,666 --> 00:14:42,583
Okay, excuse me.
381
00:14:51,375 --> 00:14:53,708
I'll need a 40% raise,
a permanent hotel room
382
00:14:53,791 --> 00:14:56,958
at Columbus Circle, childcare,
and no one is allowed
383
00:14:57,041 --> 00:14:58,708
to ask questions about that,
and a zip line
384
00:14:58,791 --> 00:15:01,291
from my family's trailer
to their town's post office.
385
00:15:03,416 --> 00:15:04,625
- Done and done.
386
00:15:04,708 --> 00:15:07,000
- Thank you guys so much.
[chuckles]
387
00:15:08,875 --> 00:15:11,541
- [groaning]
388
00:15:11,625 --> 00:15:13,250
[dramatic music]
389
00:15:13,333 --> 00:15:14,458
[moans]
390
00:15:14,541 --> 00:15:18,041
♪ ♪
391
00:15:18,125 --> 00:15:19,791
[screams]
[groans]
392
00:15:19,875 --> 00:15:21,208
[screams]
393
00:15:21,291 --> 00:15:22,916
[groans]
394
00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:24,416
Ahh!
395
00:15:24,500 --> 00:15:26,416
♪ ♪
396
00:15:26,500 --> 00:15:28,333
[screaming]
397
00:15:28,416 --> 00:15:30,750
- Dory?
- [groans]
398
00:15:30,833 --> 00:15:32,875
- Have you formed
your apology yet?
399
00:15:32,958 --> 00:15:34,500
I'm open...
400
00:15:34,583 --> 00:15:36,666
[sniffs]
To hearing it.
401
00:15:36,750 --> 00:15:38,208
- [sniffs]
402
00:15:40,583 --> 00:15:42,833
Oh, my God.
403
00:15:44,333 --> 00:15:46,500
I shat myself.
404
00:15:46,583 --> 00:15:48,250
- Oh!
405
00:15:48,333 --> 00:15:49,500
Oh!
- Oh, God.
406
00:15:49,583 --> 00:15:51,375
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
407
00:15:51,458 --> 00:15:53,333
I'm not good
with that kind of thing.
408
00:15:53,416 --> 00:15:55,500
- [groans]
I'm sorry!
409
00:15:55,583 --> 00:15:57,708
- [groans]
This is far too icky!
410
00:15:57,791 --> 00:16:00,375
Uh, we'll just have
to get you cleaned up,
411
00:16:00,458 --> 00:16:04,083
and, um, I'm gonna have
to take you upstairs!
412
00:16:04,166 --> 00:16:05,458
Oh, my God!
413
00:16:06,416 --> 00:16:09,166
Now, if you try to run away,
414
00:16:09,250 --> 00:16:11,958
I will break both of your legs.
415
00:16:12,041 --> 00:16:15,708
Um--oh, God.
Please turn around, okay?
416
00:16:15,791 --> 00:16:18,000
Oh, you smell so bad.
It stinks.
417
00:16:18,083 --> 00:16:19,750
Okay, let's go.
418
00:16:20,958 --> 00:16:22,208
We're going upstairs.
419
00:16:22,291 --> 00:16:24,375
Okay, stop.
420
00:16:24,458 --> 00:16:26,916
Turn.
Turn around.
421
00:16:28,291 --> 00:16:31,458
[keypad beeping]
No.
422
00:16:31,541 --> 00:16:33,125
Okay.
423
00:16:33,208 --> 00:16:35,500
Up we go.
424
00:16:35,583 --> 00:16:37,208
Turn, turn.
425
00:16:37,291 --> 00:16:39,958
No, there's nothing to see.
There's nothing to know about.
426
00:16:40,041 --> 00:16:42,666
It's just a bunch
of barbed wire.
427
00:16:42,750 --> 00:16:45,375
Up past the snakes,
428
00:16:45,458 --> 00:16:47,333
a bunch of snakes.
429
00:16:47,416 --> 00:16:50,333
Okay, come on in.
430
00:16:50,416 --> 00:16:52,625
We're in the bathroom now.
431
00:16:52,708 --> 00:16:54,750
Almost home free.
Keep stepping.
432
00:16:54,833 --> 00:16:57,000
Okay, stop.
We're at the tub.
433
00:16:57,083 --> 00:16:59,333
Just gonna turn
the water on for you.
434
00:16:59,416 --> 00:17:01,708
[water running]
Uh, okay.
435
00:17:01,791 --> 00:17:03,250
Don't worry.
436
00:17:03,333 --> 00:17:04,708
Um, a gentleman
would never look
437
00:17:04,791 --> 00:17:06,916
at his best friend's body.
438
00:17:07,833 --> 00:17:09,208
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
439
00:17:09,291 --> 00:17:12,208
Just, um, go ahead and step in.
440
00:17:12,291 --> 00:17:15,958
Yep, it's one
of the old claw-foot guys.
441
00:17:16,041 --> 00:17:18,083
Okay, good.
442
00:17:18,166 --> 00:17:20,958
- [breathes shakily]
- We're set.
443
00:17:21,041 --> 00:17:23,291
Just--ow!
Jesus Christ!
444
00:17:23,375 --> 00:17:24,583
Sorry.
445
00:17:24,666 --> 00:17:26,958
That pipe's hot.
Careful when you come out.
446
00:17:27,041 --> 00:17:30,625
You'll wanna watch for that.
447
00:17:30,708 --> 00:17:32,583
[sighs]
448
00:17:34,416 --> 00:17:36,500
Did I ever tell you
about that time
449
00:17:36,583 --> 00:17:39,458
I met Princess Diana?
450
00:17:39,541 --> 00:17:40,875
- No.
451
00:17:40,958 --> 00:17:45,458
- I was five years old
at boarding school,
452
00:17:45,541 --> 00:17:48,000
up in the English countryside,
453
00:17:48,083 --> 00:17:51,125
and the royals would pop in
and out all the time, you know.
454
00:17:51,208 --> 00:17:54,000
But she came one day,
455
00:17:54,083 --> 00:17:57,625
and she was just taken with me.
456
00:17:57,708 --> 00:17:59,583
And she sat me on her knee,
457
00:17:59,666 --> 00:18:01,916
and she wanted to know
all my thoughts
458
00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:05,625
on her career, you know,
but this was all very hushed.
459
00:18:05,708 --> 00:18:08,041
And I looked at her,
460
00:18:08,125 --> 00:18:11,500
and I said, "Diana.
461
00:18:11,583 --> 00:18:14,166
You need to be taking risks."
462
00:18:14,250 --> 00:18:16,333
You know, "I think you need
to be willing
463
00:18:16,416 --> 00:18:18,500
to put your life on the line."
464
00:18:18,583 --> 00:18:20,166
- Wow!
465
00:18:20,250 --> 00:18:22,541
That's--that's amazing!
- Yeah!
466
00:18:22,625 --> 00:18:26,958
You know, I said,
"Make a statement, turn heads."
467
00:18:27,041 --> 00:18:29,666
And lo and behold,
two years later,
468
00:18:29,750 --> 00:18:31,291
what is she doing?
469
00:18:31,375 --> 00:18:32,750
[uneasy music]
470
00:18:32,833 --> 00:18:37,041
She is standing
in a field of land mines,
471
00:18:37,125 --> 00:18:39,166
proudly defying death.
472
00:18:39,250 --> 00:18:40,375
Mm.
473
00:18:41,750 --> 00:18:44,708
And, um, I--I bring it up
474
00:18:44,791 --> 00:18:47,208
because, um,
475
00:18:47,291 --> 00:18:49,791
you remind me of her, Dory.
476
00:18:49,875 --> 00:18:51,916
♪ ♪
477
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:54,291
I mean, you're so brave.
478
00:18:56,291 --> 00:18:58,541
It's really, really admirable.
479
00:18:58,625 --> 00:19:01,291
Okay, shower time over.
480
00:19:01,375 --> 00:19:03,000
- Oh, wait, wait, wait!
Chip, can I just shower
481
00:19:03,083 --> 00:19:04,333
just a little bit longer?
482
00:19:04,416 --> 00:19:05,375
Please?
- Oh, gosh.
483
00:19:05,458 --> 00:19:06,750
No, I don't think so, honey.
484
00:19:06,833 --> 00:19:08,541
I don't want you to get
too prune-y.
485
00:19:08,625 --> 00:19:11,791
[water draining]
486
00:19:17,125 --> 00:19:19,708
- That was nice.
[chuckles]
487
00:19:19,791 --> 00:19:22,791
I liked talking with you
in the shower,
488
00:19:22,875 --> 00:19:25,375
and I like feeling clean.
489
00:19:25,458 --> 00:19:26,875
- Mm.
490
00:19:28,291 --> 00:19:32,041
- Maybe we can do it again
some time.
491
00:19:34,583 --> 00:19:38,541
- Probably not.
[snickers]
492
00:19:38,625 --> 00:19:40,083
Oh, but hey.
493
00:19:41,500 --> 00:19:44,750
If you do poop yourself again,
494
00:19:44,833 --> 00:19:47,208
I'll just burn
this whole house down.
495
00:19:48,375 --> 00:19:51,458
- Okay, kids, it's time for me
to put Ratty Raccoon
496
00:19:51,541 --> 00:19:53,000
down for his afternoon nap.
497
00:19:53,083 --> 00:19:55,250
Let's all sing him a song
to help him get sleepy.
498
00:19:55,333 --> 00:19:57,125
[children giggle]
♪ If you can sleep ♪
499
00:19:57,208 --> 00:20:00,750
♪ Then you can dream,
and if you can dream ♪
500
00:20:00,833 --> 00:20:03,541
♪ That's when wishes
come true ♪
501
00:20:03,625 --> 00:20:05,416
[vocalizes]
502
00:20:05,500 --> 00:20:06,750
[laughter]
503
00:20:06,833 --> 00:20:08,458
Oh!
[gasps]
504
00:20:08,541 --> 00:20:10,250
It's Darby the cowgirl!
505
00:20:10,333 --> 00:20:12,958
Gosh, I bet she's got
some great American tales
506
00:20:13,041 --> 00:20:14,458
from the Wild, Wild West.
507
00:20:14,541 --> 00:20:16,291
[cheers and applause]
Yeah!
508
00:20:16,375 --> 00:20:17,541
Oh!
509
00:20:17,625 --> 00:20:19,166
[laughs]
510
00:20:19,250 --> 00:20:22,500
[banjo music plays]
511
00:20:23,708 --> 00:20:25,000
[squeals]
512
00:20:28,166 --> 00:20:29,708
Andrew, stop!
- What?
513
00:20:29,791 --> 00:20:32,375
- We could get in trouble.
- God, I can't help it.
514
00:20:32,458 --> 00:20:34,791
- You know what
I'm in the mood for?
515
00:20:34,875 --> 00:20:36,916
- For me to tell you
what I like about you?
516
00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:38,583
- Mm-hmm.
[laughs]
517
00:20:39,500 --> 00:20:42,875
- Well, you're good-hearted.
518
00:20:42,958 --> 00:20:44,750
You're positive.
- Mm-hmm.
519
00:20:44,833 --> 00:20:48,666
- You're happy,
and you make me feel happy.
520
00:20:52,375 --> 00:20:54,166
- [sighs]
Can I tell you something?
521
00:20:54,250 --> 00:20:55,541
- Of course.
522
00:20:55,625 --> 00:20:57,208
- Last year, during Wish Week,
523
00:20:57,291 --> 00:20:59,500
when it was my turn to put
a star on the staff wall...
524
00:20:59,583 --> 00:21:00,541
- Yeah?
525
00:21:00,625 --> 00:21:03,333
- I wished for a tall white man
526
00:21:03,416 --> 00:21:05,583
with sweet eyes
to come and sweep me
527
00:21:05,666 --> 00:21:08,625
off my feet, and then when
you started working here,
528
00:21:08,708 --> 00:21:10,666
I called my abuelita,
and I told her,
529
00:21:10,750 --> 00:21:13,250
"I think my wish
is coming true."
530
00:21:13,333 --> 00:21:14,541
- [laughs]
531
00:21:14,625 --> 00:21:16,916
- Is your wish coming true?
532
00:21:17,791 --> 00:21:19,833
- I think so.
533
00:21:19,916 --> 00:21:21,791
You know,
I came here once as a kid,
534
00:21:21,875 --> 00:21:23,833
and it was, like,
my favorite memory.
535
00:21:23,916 --> 00:21:25,750
And the last couple years
536
00:21:25,833 --> 00:21:27,833
haven't really been
so easy for me.
537
00:21:27,916 --> 00:21:29,000
So...
538
00:21:29,083 --> 00:21:30,250
I don't know why
it didn't occur to me
539
00:21:30,333 --> 00:21:31,333
to come here sooner.
540
00:21:31,416 --> 00:21:33,416
I mean, it is so joyful here!
541
00:21:33,500 --> 00:21:34,833
- Yeah!
- And, like, they play
542
00:21:34,916 --> 00:21:36,375
amazing music all the time.
- Yeah!
543
00:21:36,458 --> 00:21:38,291
- And the food rocks!
544
00:21:38,375 --> 00:21:39,791
[both laugh]
545
00:21:39,875 --> 00:21:41,166
- I know.
546
00:21:41,250 --> 00:21:43,250
- And all this time,
547
00:21:43,333 --> 00:21:46,541
a beautiful princesa
was waiting for me.
548
00:21:46,625 --> 00:21:47,750
- [laughs]
549
00:21:47,833 --> 00:21:50,125
- What more could a guy like me
ask for?
550
00:21:50,208 --> 00:21:51,833
- [laughs]
551
00:21:51,916 --> 00:21:53,833
[cell phone buzzes, clicks]
552
00:21:53,916 --> 00:21:56,333
- Hello?
- Portia!
553
00:21:56,416 --> 00:21:58,250
How are you?
- I'm so good!
554
00:21:58,333 --> 00:22:00,666
Thank you so much for asking.
How are you?
555
00:22:00,750 --> 00:22:01,708
- Good.
556
00:22:01,791 --> 00:22:02,833
So we heard back
557
00:22:02,916 --> 00:22:04,166
from the "Savage" producers...
558
00:22:04,250 --> 00:22:05,500
- Okay.
559
00:22:05,583 --> 00:22:07,083
- And we have
interesting news.
560
00:22:07,166 --> 00:22:09,250
- So they're
a little concerned
561
00:22:09,333 --> 00:22:11,125
about how awkward it might get
562
00:22:11,208 --> 00:22:13,958
to note your performance
as Portia
563
00:22:14,041 --> 00:22:16,875
being that
you're the real Portia.
564
00:22:16,958 --> 00:22:18,958
- They wanna gauge
your interest
565
00:22:19,041 --> 00:22:20,708
in possibly playing the lead.
566
00:22:20,791 --> 00:22:24,083
- The le--the lead?
Who's the--what's the lead?
567
00:22:24,166 --> 00:22:26,666
- Well, it's your friend,
Dory.
568
00:22:26,750 --> 00:22:27,750
- Wait.
Sorry.
569
00:22:27,833 --> 00:22:29,375
They want me to play Dory?
570
00:22:29,458 --> 00:22:32,541
- They think it'll be
exciting stunt casting!
571
00:22:32,625 --> 00:22:34,250
- It's just--that's awesome.
572
00:22:34,333 --> 00:22:37,250
I think--I do think I should
check in with Dory about it,
573
00:22:37,333 --> 00:22:38,416
if that's okay.
574
00:22:38,500 --> 00:22:39,750
- Absolutely.
575
00:22:39,833 --> 00:22:41,708
Well, let us know
what she says,
576
00:22:41,791 --> 00:22:43,458
and we'll get into it.
- Okay.
577
00:22:43,541 --> 00:22:45,083
- This is exciting!
- It is!
578
00:22:45,166 --> 00:22:47,666
Oh, my gosh, thank you, guys.
Thank you so much.
579
00:22:47,750 --> 00:22:50,416
Have such a great day.
580
00:22:50,500 --> 00:22:51,666
[cell phone beeps]
581
00:22:51,750 --> 00:22:54,666
[dramatic electronic music]
582
00:22:54,750 --> 00:22:57,416
♪ ♪
583
00:22:57,500 --> 00:22:59,416
- Come on!
I just need something sharp!
584
00:22:59,500 --> 00:23:02,083
♪ ♪
585
00:23:02,166 --> 00:23:04,333
[grunting]
586
00:23:06,166 --> 00:23:07,500
[growls]
587
00:23:07,583 --> 00:23:10,916
♪ ♪
588
00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:12,958
Come on, come on, come on!
589
00:23:13,041 --> 00:23:16,791
- ♪ Groove is in the heart ♪
590
00:23:16,875 --> 00:23:20,750
♪ Groove is in the heart ♪
591
00:23:20,833 --> 00:23:24,791
♪ Groove is in the heart ♪
592
00:23:24,875 --> 00:23:27,041
♪ Groove is in the heart ♪
593
00:23:27,875 --> 00:23:29,916
- Hi, Dor!
It's me.
594
00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:33,625
Oh, my gosh, you are so cute
in all your Europe pics.
595
00:23:33,708 --> 00:23:36,125
I'm freaking out.
I miss you so much.
596
00:23:36,208 --> 00:23:39,583
Um, anyway, look,
I'm calling to tell you
597
00:23:39,666 --> 00:23:41,666
that I have some
really exciting news!
598
00:23:41,750 --> 00:23:43,166
I got a really big part!
599
00:23:43,250 --> 00:23:46,166
It's this amazing
complex role...of you.
600
00:23:46,250 --> 00:23:48,541
It's you.
The part is you.
601
00:23:48,625 --> 00:23:52,500
And it's a big opportunity
for me as an actor.
602
00:23:52,583 --> 00:23:55,833
And it's--I'm calling to see
how you feel about it,
603
00:23:55,916 --> 00:23:58,583
and, you know, I am calling
to ask your permission.
604
00:23:58,666 --> 00:24:01,166
But it's more
of just a formality.
605
00:24:01,250 --> 00:24:05,416
I am doing it, regardless
of what you think or say.
606
00:24:05,500 --> 00:24:08,500
Anyway, kiss Paris for me!
I love ya!
607
00:24:08,583 --> 00:24:10,000
Okay.
Bye!
608
00:24:10,083 --> 00:24:13,375
Oh, my God.
That was so stressful.
609
00:24:13,458 --> 00:24:15,416
[sighs]
- Mm.
610
00:24:15,500 --> 00:24:17,583
- Ell, is it crazy for me
to take this part?
611
00:24:17,666 --> 00:24:19,375
- No.
No, no, no.
612
00:24:19,458 --> 00:24:20,875
I think it's so brave.
613
00:24:20,958 --> 00:24:22,208
It's so badass,
614
00:24:22,291 --> 00:24:23,875
and I'm proud
to call you a friend.
615
00:24:23,958 --> 00:24:25,041
- You're so sweet.
616
00:24:25,125 --> 00:24:26,458
You're making me feel
so much better.
617
00:24:26,541 --> 00:24:27,791
Thank you.
- Yeah.
618
00:24:27,875 --> 00:24:29,916
I think it's, like,
weirdly similar
619
00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:31,750
to something I'm going through
right now.
620
00:24:31,833 --> 00:24:33,541
I think in becoming
a Republican,
621
00:24:33,625 --> 00:24:36,708
I'm actually, like,
playing a part.
622
00:24:36,791 --> 00:24:39,333
Just like you with Dory.
I mean, you're playing a part.
623
00:24:39,416 --> 00:24:42,958
Like, we're both playing parts
in this weird way.
624
00:24:43,041 --> 00:24:45,000
- Totally.
- Yeah.
625
00:24:46,708 --> 00:24:48,666
- I do think
in your situation...
626
00:24:48,750 --> 00:24:51,291
- Yeah?
- I worry that people
627
00:24:51,375 --> 00:24:53,583
might not know you're acting.
628
00:24:53,666 --> 00:24:55,291
Do you know what I mean?
Like, I think that they might
629
00:24:55,375 --> 00:24:56,541
think you actually believe
630
00:24:56,625 --> 00:24:59,125
the things that you're saying.
631
00:24:59,208 --> 00:25:01,125
- Well, I could hurt you back
and tell you that I actually
632
00:25:01,208 --> 00:25:02,833
don't think you should do
the movie, but I won't
633
00:25:02,916 --> 00:25:04,583
because we're in our 30s now
and we're supposed
634
00:25:04,666 --> 00:25:06,208
to give up on helping
each other and actually put up
635
00:25:06,291 --> 00:25:07,916
more walls in the name
of boundaries,
636
00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:09,583
but you didn't do that.
You're supposed to do that.
637
00:25:09,666 --> 00:25:11,208
But you didn't do that.
- Yeah, but, Ell, I just--
638
00:25:11,291 --> 00:25:12,750
- I think there's
an acoustic issue
639
00:25:12,833 --> 00:25:14,250
because you're not hearing me.
640
00:25:14,333 --> 00:25:15,416
Okay?
641
00:25:15,500 --> 00:25:17,166
I support you.
642
00:25:17,250 --> 00:25:19,916
You have to support me.
643
00:25:22,041 --> 00:25:23,333
- Okay, I'm proud of you?
644
00:25:23,416 --> 00:25:25,583
- Oh, my God,
I'm so proud of you too.
645
00:25:29,083 --> 00:25:30,541
[bell dings]
646
00:25:30,625 --> 00:25:31,791
- He--
647
00:25:35,291 --> 00:25:37,875
[gasps]
[thudding at door]
648
00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:42,416
Dory!
649
00:25:42,500 --> 00:25:45,791
You ripped your home up?
650
00:25:45,875 --> 00:25:50,916
I spent a lot of time
making this for you!
651
00:25:51,000 --> 00:25:53,416
Oh, D--the table!
652
00:25:53,500 --> 00:25:56,750
The couch!
- I'm sorry.
653
00:25:56,833 --> 00:25:58,666
I just--
[huffs]
654
00:25:58,750 --> 00:26:01,791
I just needed to left off
a little steam!
655
00:26:01,875 --> 00:26:04,083
- Well, while you were
letting off a little steam,
656
00:26:04,166 --> 00:26:08,000
I was upstairs, slaving away
on some new food for you!
657
00:26:08,083 --> 00:26:10,125
So I hope this slight
change in diet
658
00:26:10,208 --> 00:26:11,541
doesn't upset your system.
659
00:26:11,625 --> 00:26:13,208
[grumbling]
Ooh!
660
00:26:13,291 --> 00:26:16,666
You have put me through
the wringer today, little girl.
661
00:26:16,750 --> 00:26:17,750
I'm wiped out.
662
00:26:17,833 --> 00:26:21,208
[uneasy music]
663
00:26:21,291 --> 00:26:24,625
♪ ♪
664
00:26:24,708 --> 00:26:26,916
- Hello.
- Hi.
665
00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:28,958
- Feeling good?
- Mm-hmm.
666
00:26:29,041 --> 00:26:30,625
- You've got this.
667
00:26:30,708 --> 00:26:33,250
- I know.
668
00:26:37,250 --> 00:26:38,958
- Quiet on set.
669
00:26:39,041 --> 00:26:42,916
And three, two...
670
00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:45,333
[rousing music]
671
00:26:45,416 --> 00:26:47,041
- Good afternoon,
I'm Elliott Goss,
672
00:26:47,125 --> 00:26:49,208
and you're watching
"Red State Blue State."
673
00:26:49,291 --> 00:26:52,500
Now, you may notice
that my gorgeous cohost,
674
00:26:52,583 --> 00:26:54,875
Charlie Reenie,
is not sitting next to me,
675
00:26:54,958 --> 00:26:58,333
and that is because the network
has generously given me
676
00:26:58,416 --> 00:27:01,666
the stage to allow me
to make a statement.
677
00:27:02,916 --> 00:27:05,666
America, I owe you an apology.
678
00:27:05,750 --> 00:27:09,583
Like many citizens today,
I too have been brainwashed
679
00:27:09,666 --> 00:27:13,041
by the liberal media, by
the "arts and leisure elite,"
680
00:27:13,125 --> 00:27:16,041
by socialist universities,
and by the coasts.
681
00:27:16,125 --> 00:27:17,333
I have been living
682
00:27:17,416 --> 00:27:19,000
in a political fantasy,
683
00:27:19,083 --> 00:27:20,833
but no longer.
684
00:27:20,916 --> 00:27:22,416
I am now and forever
685
00:27:22,500 --> 00:27:25,583
a staunchly
conservative Republican.
686
00:27:26,750 --> 00:27:29,750
I believe in traditional
Christian family values,
687
00:27:29,833 --> 00:27:32,041
speaking in English
at all times,
688
00:27:32,125 --> 00:27:34,083
and anaesthetizing
the lower classes
689
00:27:34,166 --> 00:27:36,541
with presidential fantasies
of gold faucets
690
00:27:36,625 --> 00:27:37,958
and beautiful women.
691
00:27:38,041 --> 00:27:41,041
I love my beliefs,
I love my country,
692
00:27:41,125 --> 00:27:43,750
and I love my God.
693
00:27:43,833 --> 00:27:45,875
End of story.
694
00:27:45,958 --> 00:27:48,500
So, please, tune in next time
695
00:27:48,583 --> 00:27:49,958
for "Right is Right,"
696
00:27:50,041 --> 00:27:51,875
a new program
where Charlie Reenie
697
00:27:51,958 --> 00:27:54,416
and yours truly
will agree on matters
698
00:27:54,500 --> 00:27:57,250
pertaining to the "right"
side of history.
699
00:27:57,333 --> 00:27:59,041
Thank you.
700
00:27:59,125 --> 00:28:00,916
And in place of tonight's show,
please enjoy
701
00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:04,583
this black-and-white footage
of World War II airplanes.
702
00:28:04,666 --> 00:28:06,000
- And we're out.
703
00:28:06,083 --> 00:28:08,291
[bell rings]
704
00:28:08,375 --> 00:28:11,166
- So great.
705
00:28:11,250 --> 00:28:13,083
How do you feel?
706
00:28:13,166 --> 00:28:16,541
- I feel...
707
00:28:16,625 --> 00:28:18,250
genuinely fine.
708
00:28:18,333 --> 00:28:20,750
[both laugh]
709
00:28:20,833 --> 00:28:22,583
Whoo!
[laughs]
710
00:28:22,666 --> 00:28:23,833
- Great.
711
00:28:23,916 --> 00:28:25,500
- Huh.
712
00:28:25,583 --> 00:28:26,541
Oh, God.
713
00:28:26,625 --> 00:28:28,041
[both chuckle]
714
00:28:28,125 --> 00:28:31,375
- [munching noisily, humming]
715
00:28:39,708 --> 00:28:40,958
[tooth cracks]
Ah.
716
00:28:41,041 --> 00:28:42,583
Ow.
717
00:28:44,541 --> 00:28:47,250
[moans]
Ow.
718
00:28:47,333 --> 00:28:49,375
[inhales sharply]
719
00:28:49,458 --> 00:28:51,458
Ah.
720
00:28:51,541 --> 00:28:53,000
[exhales sharply]
721
00:28:59,333 --> 00:29:02,250
[dramatic music]
722
00:29:02,333 --> 00:29:09,250
♪ ♪
723
00:29:09,333 --> 00:29:12,291
[upbeat music]
724
00:29:12,375 --> 00:29:15,375
♪ ♪
725
00:29:15,458 --> 00:29:18,083
[laughs]
726
00:29:18,166 --> 00:29:19,916
♪ ♪
727
00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:22,625
- ♪ Mm, mm, mm, mm ♪
728
00:29:22,708 --> 00:29:24,125
♪ ♪
729
00:29:24,208 --> 00:29:26,583
♪ Mm, mm ♪
730
00:29:26,666 --> 00:29:28,333
♪ ♪
731
00:29:28,416 --> 00:29:30,583
♪ Mm, mm, mm, mm ♪
732
00:29:30,666 --> 00:29:32,500
♪ ♪
733
00:29:32,583 --> 00:29:34,583
♪ Mm, mm ♪
734
00:29:34,666 --> 00:29:36,416
♪ ♪
735
00:29:36,500 --> 00:29:41,166
♪ Your boyfriend,
he's no good ♪
736
00:29:41,250 --> 00:29:44,333
♪ In the dark ♪
737
00:29:44,416 --> 00:29:48,458
♪ I've got you in that way ♪
738
00:29:48,541 --> 00:29:51,333
♪ You were making it hard ♪
739
00:29:51,416 --> 00:29:58,291
♪ ♪
740
00:30:00,333 --> 00:30:01,791
- [coughs]