1 00:00:04,019 --> 00:00:07,005 [keypad beeping] 2 00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:09,021 [door buzzes] 3 00:00:20,006 --> 00:00:22,010 [door creaks] 4 00:00:22,012 --> 00:00:24,001 - What--what is this? 5 00:00:24,003 --> 00:00:27,011 - It's a present. I made it for you. 6 00:00:30,021 --> 00:00:32,005 - Oh. 7 00:00:34,017 --> 00:00:36,005 - I know it doesn't look like much, 8 00:00:36,007 --> 00:00:38,017 but I wanted to surprise you. 9 00:00:38,019 --> 00:00:40,017 - A surprise for what? 10 00:00:40,019 --> 00:00:45,008 - Well, do you mind telling me what day it is, Chip? 11 00:00:45,010 --> 00:00:47,023 - It's the 10th day of December. 12 00:00:48,001 --> 00:00:51,020 - Oh, shoot. We missed it. 13 00:00:51,022 --> 00:00:55,005 - We missed what? - Nothing. Forget it. 14 00:00:55,007 --> 00:00:57,001 - No, no, wait. Dory, please, please tell me. 15 00:00:57,003 --> 00:00:58,014 What did we miss? Please? 16 00:00:58,016 --> 00:01:01,014 - It's silly. It's just... 17 00:01:01,016 --> 00:01:03,014 our three month friend-iversary. 18 00:01:03,016 --> 00:01:05,012 I thought it would be nice to celebrate the day 19 00:01:05,014 --> 00:01:08,009 that I arrived here by doing something special like-- 20 00:01:08,011 --> 00:01:10,020 like a dinner together or something. 21 00:01:10,022 --> 00:01:13,021 But...we missed it, so... 22 00:01:13,023 --> 00:01:17,016 It's okay, we can just celebrate it next year. 23 00:01:17,018 --> 00:01:19,010 - [sighs] 24 00:01:19,012 --> 00:01:22,002 Fuck! Idiot! 25 00:01:23,009 --> 00:01:25,004 - Oh, well. 26 00:01:25,006 --> 00:01:26,012 - We can just do it now. 27 00:01:26,014 --> 00:01:27,023 - Yeah? - Yeah! 28 00:01:28,001 --> 00:01:29,004 - Okay-- - Wait, don't eat this. 29 00:01:29,006 --> 00:01:30,011 I'm gonna make something special. 30 00:01:30,013 --> 00:01:32,004 - Okay. - Oh, my God. 31 00:01:32,006 --> 00:01:33,019 Dory, I'm so happy 32 00:01:33,021 --> 00:01:36,003 that you're finally acknowledging we're friends. 33 00:01:36,005 --> 00:01:37,011 - Me too. 34 00:01:37,013 --> 00:01:39,007 - Ugh! - [giggles] 35 00:01:39,009 --> 00:01:41,008 - I'm so lucky. 36 00:01:42,001 --> 00:01:45,011 [Purity Ring's "Obedear"] 37 00:01:45,013 --> 00:01:50,008 - ♪ Oh, but dear, the sky is low, watch ♪ 38 00:01:50,010 --> 00:01:54,009 ♪ Fluent sea men rig their rudders so ♪ 39 00:01:54,011 --> 00:01:55,023 both: Amen. 40 00:01:57,001 --> 00:01:59,000 - What did you pray for today, Charlie? 41 00:01:59,002 --> 00:02:03,000 - I prayed for my makeup artist, Missy Winebasket. 42 00:02:03,002 --> 00:02:05,014 I overheard Missy on the phone with her mommy 43 00:02:05,016 --> 00:02:09,000 that she was at the Midtown Women's March this weekend. 44 00:02:10,002 --> 00:02:11,012 I pray for you, Missy, 45 00:02:11,014 --> 00:02:13,006 and I pray for all the women out there 46 00:02:13,008 --> 00:02:15,022 who claim to be "feminists" when they're really just 47 00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:18,005 man-hating, handout-hungry witches 48 00:02:18,007 --> 00:02:20,011 who come together to wear hideous pink hats 49 00:02:20,013 --> 00:02:23,020 and to cast spells on women like me with differing beliefs 50 00:02:23,022 --> 00:02:25,005 all in the name of a movement 51 00:02:25,007 --> 00:02:27,006 that's been irrelevant since 1920. 52 00:02:27,008 --> 00:02:29,006 What did you pray for? - Thank you, Charlie. 53 00:02:29,008 --> 00:02:30,015 That was beautiful, first of all. 54 00:02:30,017 --> 00:02:31,020 - Mm-hmm. 55 00:02:31,022 --> 00:02:34,013 - Today, I pray for a gay restaurant 56 00:02:34,015 --> 00:02:37,004 that I was booed out of this morning. 57 00:02:37,006 --> 00:02:38,022 Yeah. [scoffs] 58 00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:41,000 Okay, I just wanna say and get this on the record finally. 59 00:02:41,002 --> 00:02:43,001 I hate gay people. 60 00:02:43,003 --> 00:02:44,009 And I'm allowed to hate myself. 61 00:02:44,011 --> 00:02:46,001 It's actually in the Constitution. 62 00:02:46,003 --> 00:02:48,009 Do I think gay people should exist? No. 63 00:02:48,011 --> 00:02:51,021 Do I think I should exist? Absolutely not, okay? 64 00:02:51,023 --> 00:02:54,013 And I do not have a problem in being a vocal advocate 65 00:02:54,015 --> 00:02:57,007 in violently dismantling gay rights, okay? 66 00:02:57,009 --> 00:02:59,006 No more workplace protections. 67 00:02:59,008 --> 00:03:01,009 No more, people. No more marriage. 68 00:03:01,011 --> 00:03:04,011 I can't believe that I almost got gay married. 69 00:03:04,013 --> 00:03:06,014 Yeah, me. True life, okay? 70 00:03:06,016 --> 00:03:08,015 You know what happens when you get gay married? 71 00:03:08,017 --> 00:03:10,005 People die. 72 00:03:10,007 --> 00:03:13,001 A caterer was hit by a car at my wedding. 73 00:03:13,003 --> 00:03:15,004 A car that a lesbian was driving. 74 00:03:15,006 --> 00:03:16,019 So...psh. So yeah. 75 00:03:16,021 --> 00:03:19,013 My prayer today is that there is a gay gene 76 00:03:19,015 --> 00:03:21,015 and that scientists can find it, 77 00:03:21,017 --> 00:03:23,014 isolate it, and kill it. 78 00:03:23,016 --> 00:03:25,008 Thank you. 79 00:03:25,010 --> 00:03:27,005 - Great prayer. 80 00:03:27,007 --> 00:03:32,016 - This china was a gift to my Aunt Lylah from JFK. 81 00:03:32,018 --> 00:03:35,016 [classical music playing] 82 00:03:35,018 --> 00:03:37,010 - No silverware? 83 00:03:37,012 --> 00:03:40,009 - No, no silverware, just the beautiful china. 84 00:03:40,011 --> 00:03:42,018 Forgive me for not being able to trust you 85 00:03:42,020 --> 00:03:47,007 around sharp objects, but you made your bed. 86 00:03:47,009 --> 00:03:50,019 ♪ ♪ 87 00:03:50,021 --> 00:03:53,004 - [sighs] 88 00:03:53,006 --> 00:03:56,010 - Hey, you're sulking. - Oh. 89 00:03:56,012 --> 00:03:58,003 - Isn't this what you wanted? - I'm sorry. 90 00:03:58,005 --> 00:04:01,011 This all looks so beautiful. - Thank you. 91 00:04:01,013 --> 00:04:05,018 - And I just wish that I felt beautiful too. 92 00:04:05,020 --> 00:04:08,016 - Oh, you look great. You look great the way you are. 93 00:04:08,018 --> 00:04:13,007 - No, I just-- I wanna look nice, you know? 94 00:04:13,009 --> 00:04:16,014 Like, put on a fancy dress 95 00:04:16,016 --> 00:04:21,022 or, I don't know, take a shower. 96 00:04:26,019 --> 00:04:29,016 - Well, I can get you a dress. - Yeah? 97 00:04:29,018 --> 00:04:32,003 - Yeah, I think Aunt Lylah has just the right one. 98 00:04:32,005 --> 00:04:33,018 - Okay, yeah, I mean-- - Yeah. 99 00:04:33,020 --> 00:04:35,009 - Yeah, a dress would be-- a dress would be great. 100 00:04:35,011 --> 00:04:37,000 - It should fit you just perfectly. 101 00:04:37,002 --> 00:04:38,022 [both chuckle] 102 00:04:40,021 --> 00:04:43,014 [door creaks] 103 00:04:43,016 --> 00:04:45,013 [door shuts] 104 00:04:47,013 --> 00:04:49,021 - Oh, the teeth! That counts, that counts. 105 00:04:49,023 --> 00:04:52,010 - No, no, no. If it's teeth, I get a point. 106 00:04:52,012 --> 00:04:54,000 - [laughs] No! 107 00:04:54,002 --> 00:04:56,007 - Boys, I'm sorry. 108 00:04:56,009 --> 00:04:58,020 But can Andrew and I have a moment? 109 00:04:58,022 --> 00:05:01,022 - Ooh, I don't like that tone. 110 00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:04,013 - Well, why do I have to leave? 111 00:05:04,015 --> 00:05:06,014 - I-- - [sighs] 112 00:05:06,016 --> 00:05:07,022 - Please? 113 00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:10,022 - People take advantage of me. Always have. 114 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:13,002 [faint cheerful music playing] 115 00:05:13,004 --> 00:05:16,008 - Hey, what's going on? 116 00:05:17,017 --> 00:05:20,001 - Well, I don't know how to say this, 117 00:05:20,003 --> 00:05:22,020 but I Googled you. 118 00:05:22,022 --> 00:05:25,003 And after a few dozen Andrew Gardners come up, 119 00:05:25,005 --> 00:05:27,014 you start to see Drew Gardner, 120 00:05:27,016 --> 00:05:30,000 and I learned that you're not from South Africa. 121 00:05:30,002 --> 00:05:32,004 You were born in Chicago. 122 00:05:32,006 --> 00:05:34,005 And that... 123 00:05:34,007 --> 00:05:35,017 [whispers] You need glasses. 124 00:05:36,015 --> 00:05:40,013 And I learned a few other things. 125 00:05:40,015 --> 00:05:43,013 [faint indistinct chatter] 126 00:05:43,015 --> 00:05:46,012 - Um, is this about my murder trial? 127 00:05:46,014 --> 00:05:48,021 - [squeals] - Okay, okay-- 128 00:05:48,023 --> 00:05:51,005 - So what it says is true? 129 00:05:51,007 --> 00:05:53,016 - Hey, look, I-- - No, no, no, no, no. 130 00:05:53,018 --> 00:05:55,003 - Hey, hey, hey. 131 00:05:55,005 --> 00:05:57,021 I'm so, so sorry I didn't tell you about it, okay? 132 00:05:57,023 --> 00:06:04,002 It's just I came here to put that life behind me, okay? 133 00:06:04,004 --> 00:06:05,009 And that's not who I am. 134 00:06:05,011 --> 00:06:07,017 I mean, it is. Yeah, it is, it's-- 135 00:06:07,019 --> 00:06:10,018 I don't want it to be anymore, okay? 136 00:06:10,020 --> 00:06:15,005 And I like it here because none of that stuff exists. 137 00:06:15,007 --> 00:06:17,020 I could sit here and I could just lie to you 138 00:06:17,022 --> 00:06:21,011 about my past, but I don't wanna do that to you, okay? 139 00:06:21,013 --> 00:06:26,014 So ask me anything and-- and I'll tell you the truth. 140 00:06:26,016 --> 00:06:29,020 Whatever you wanna know, just ask. 141 00:06:29,022 --> 00:06:31,006 - Okay. - Okay? 142 00:06:31,008 --> 00:06:33,005 [classical music playing] 143 00:06:33,007 --> 00:06:34,015 - [gasps] 144 00:06:34,017 --> 00:06:37,001 Oh, my God. 145 00:06:37,003 --> 00:06:39,003 Oh, you look so beautiful. 146 00:06:39,005 --> 00:06:40,018 - Really? - Oh. 147 00:06:40,020 --> 00:06:43,008 Do you feel better? - Mm-hmm. 148 00:06:43,010 --> 00:06:46,014 - [laughs] Well, dinner is served. 149 00:06:46,016 --> 00:06:48,017 - Oh, okay. 150 00:06:49,016 --> 00:06:51,002 Oh, wow. 151 00:06:51,004 --> 00:06:53,005 It looks so good. 152 00:06:57,000 --> 00:07:00,001 - Happy friend-iversary. 153 00:07:00,003 --> 00:07:07,007 ♪ ♪ 154 00:07:17,002 --> 00:07:18,016 - Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! 155 00:07:18,018 --> 00:07:21,010 - No, no, no, come on! It's a food fight. 156 00:07:21,012 --> 00:07:23,003 Every friendship has a food fight. 157 00:07:23,005 --> 00:07:24,014 Didn't you know that? 158 00:07:25,019 --> 00:07:27,011 - Wait, really? 159 00:07:27,013 --> 00:07:30,019 [grunts] Oh, my God! 160 00:07:30,021 --> 00:07:32,021 [both laugh] 161 00:07:32,023 --> 00:07:35,003 - Oh, come on. You can do better than that. 162 00:07:35,005 --> 00:07:37,002 - [laughs] 163 00:07:37,004 --> 00:07:40,004 [both laughing] 164 00:07:40,021 --> 00:07:42,004 [yells] 165 00:07:42,006 --> 00:07:45,021 [both laughing] 166 00:07:55,010 --> 00:07:58,012 - Okay, okay, okay, okay, you win, you win! 167 00:07:58,014 --> 00:08:01,001 - Yeah! 168 00:08:02,015 --> 00:08:05,003 [laughs] - [panting] 169 00:08:05,005 --> 00:08:07,021 Oh, no. 170 00:08:07,023 --> 00:08:12,010 Chip, you got too carried away. 171 00:08:12,012 --> 00:08:16,016 - But--but...food fight. 172 00:08:16,018 --> 00:08:19,011 - I mean, I gonna have to get cleaned up. 173 00:08:19,013 --> 00:08:23,005 I can't eat like this. 174 00:08:23,007 --> 00:08:26,007 I really wish you had controlled yourself, Chip. 175 00:08:27,006 --> 00:08:28,023 - Oh. 176 00:08:29,014 --> 00:08:32,015 - What are we gonna do now? 177 00:08:32,017 --> 00:08:34,019 [faucet squeaks] 178 00:08:34,021 --> 00:08:38,013 - You know, I actually invented 179 00:08:38,015 --> 00:08:42,000 a very powerful stain remover six years ago. 180 00:08:42,002 --> 00:08:44,009 I didn't even mean to. I was just messing around 181 00:08:44,011 --> 00:08:49,020 with some chemicals to remind myself of my time at MIT. 182 00:08:49,022 --> 00:08:51,010 - That's amazing, Chip. 183 00:08:51,012 --> 00:08:53,017 - Well, that's not the amazing part. 184 00:08:53,019 --> 00:08:56,022 The amazing part is a laboratory 185 00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:59,022 got their hands on it, and they discovered 186 00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:03,004 that it is as close to a cure for lupus 187 00:09:03,006 --> 00:09:04,015 that we presently have. 188 00:09:04,017 --> 00:09:05,018 Can you believe that? 189 00:09:05,020 --> 00:09:07,010 I didn't mean to invent 190 00:09:07,012 --> 00:09:10,002 a stain remover or a cure for lupus, 191 00:09:10,004 --> 00:09:14,004 let alone a stain remover that would become a cure for lupus. 192 00:09:14,006 --> 00:09:15,021 So you see what I mean about having 193 00:09:15,023 --> 00:09:17,022 too many options in my life? 194 00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:19,015 I mean, if I succeed at everything, 195 00:09:19,017 --> 00:09:22,015 how am I supposed to choose? 196 00:09:22,017 --> 00:09:24,023 - Chip? - Yeah? 197 00:09:25,001 --> 00:09:27,004 - Would--would you sing me something? 198 00:09:27,006 --> 00:09:30,008 - Of course. Um... 199 00:09:30,010 --> 00:09:32,018 Okay--two, three, four. 200 00:09:32,020 --> 00:09:36,012 ♪ The chills that you spill up my back keep me filled ♪ 201 00:09:36,014 --> 00:09:38,009 ♪ With satisfaction when we're done ♪ 202 00:09:38,011 --> 00:09:41,018 ♪ Satisfaction of what's to come ♪ 203 00:09:41,020 --> 00:09:45,004 - ♪ No, I wouldn't ask for another ♪ 204 00:09:45,006 --> 00:09:47,023 - Pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pew! 205 00:09:48,001 --> 00:09:49,007 - No! 206 00:09:49,009 --> 00:09:53,006 ♪ No, I couldn't ask for another ♪ 207 00:09:53,008 --> 00:09:55,015 - ♪ Your groove I do deeply dig ♪ 208 00:09:55,017 --> 00:09:58,002 ♪ No walls, only the bridge ♪ 209 00:09:58,004 --> 00:10:02,008 ♪ My supper dish, my succotash wish ♪ 210 00:10:02,010 --> 00:10:07,011 - No, I couldn't ask for another ♪ 211 00:10:07,013 --> 00:10:11,017 - Pew! 212 00:10:11,019 --> 00:10:16,022 - No, I couldn't ask for another ♪ 213 00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:18,016 - What are you doing? - [gasps] 214 00:10:18,018 --> 00:10:19,018 [grunts] 215 00:10:19,020 --> 00:10:21,004 - Stop it! What-- 216 00:10:21,006 --> 00:10:23,000 - [yells] - [shouts] 217 00:10:23,002 --> 00:10:24,013 [grunts] 218 00:10:24,015 --> 00:10:26,021 - Dory! What are you doing? 219 00:10:26,023 --> 00:10:29,014 Unlock the door, Dory! 220 00:10:29,016 --> 00:10:32,000 Dory, Dory, Dory, Dory! 221 00:10:32,002 --> 00:10:34,023 - Fuck! [grunts angrily] 222 00:10:35,001 --> 00:10:38,019 - Hey, what are you doing in there? 223 00:10:38,021 --> 00:10:40,007 [suspenseful music] 224 00:10:40,009 --> 00:10:42,017 Oh, my God-- [grunting] 225 00:10:42,019 --> 00:10:44,002 - [yells] 226 00:10:44,004 --> 00:10:46,010 Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! 227 00:10:46,012 --> 00:10:48,005 [screams] Motherfuck-- 228 00:10:48,007 --> 00:10:50,016 - Dory! Oh, my God! 229 00:10:50,018 --> 00:10:55,002 I am--I'm not bad. I know--I know you're scared. 230 00:10:55,004 --> 00:10:56,005 - [grunts] 231 00:10:56,007 --> 00:10:58,023 - If you just like me better, 232 00:10:59,001 --> 00:11:01,009 you'll feel like a good friend! 233 00:11:01,011 --> 00:11:08,016 ♪ ♪ 234 00:11:13,011 --> 00:11:15,015 - [screams] Oh! 235 00:11:15,017 --> 00:11:17,013 Hi, Lylah? 236 00:11:17,015 --> 00:11:20,005 It's your neighbor, Paula Jo. 237 00:11:20,007 --> 00:11:21,005 - [quietly] Fuck. 238 00:11:21,007 --> 00:11:22,013 - Was that you who just 239 00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:25,017 slammed the door in my face? 240 00:11:25,019 --> 00:11:29,005 We haven't formally met, but I've been decorating 241 00:11:29,007 --> 00:11:31,018 this house for Christmas every year. 242 00:11:31,020 --> 00:11:33,006 - Shut up! 243 00:11:33,008 --> 00:11:35,001 - I saw the car out in the driveway and I thought, 244 00:11:35,003 --> 00:11:38,005 "Well, that must be the elusive Lylah!" 245 00:11:38,007 --> 00:11:41,003 - Yes, it's me. Um... 246 00:11:41,005 --> 00:11:45,003 Hi, I--I'm--you caught me at a really bad time, darling. 247 00:11:45,005 --> 00:11:48,013 I-I'm just about to rush out the door. 248 00:11:48,015 --> 00:11:51,000 - I know you're in a hurry, but I'm here now 249 00:11:51,002 --> 00:11:53,016 and this works for me, so if we could just do 250 00:11:53,018 --> 00:11:55,010 a real quick walk around the house 251 00:11:55,012 --> 00:11:58,016 and take a look at where it might be just fantastic 252 00:11:58,018 --> 00:12:00,017 for you to decorate. 253 00:12:00,019 --> 00:12:01,023 - Fuck! 254 00:12:02,001 --> 00:12:05,020 Yeah, great! Just hold on one minute! 255 00:12:05,022 --> 00:12:08,012 Um... 256 00:12:08,014 --> 00:12:11,006 - [panting nervously] Oh. 257 00:12:11,008 --> 00:12:12,018 ♪ ♪ 258 00:12:12,020 --> 00:12:17,006 - I just have to put the cats into the other room. 259 00:12:17,008 --> 00:12:20,014 Otherwise, they'll just rush right out the door, 260 00:12:20,016 --> 00:12:23,010 and we do not wanna spend the afternoon 261 00:12:23,012 --> 00:12:25,009 chasing cats, now, do we? 262 00:12:25,011 --> 00:12:26,014 - No. 263 00:12:26,016 --> 00:12:29,002 - So just let me grab them here. 264 00:12:29,004 --> 00:12:30,012 Come on, Buttercup. 265 00:12:30,014 --> 00:12:33,019 Okay, I'm nearly done putting away the cats. 266 00:12:33,021 --> 00:12:36,019 - Good, because it's very cold out here, 267 00:12:36,021 --> 00:12:39,002 and these muffins are really heavy. 268 00:12:39,004 --> 00:12:42,002 - [panting] 269 00:12:42,004 --> 00:12:49,008 ♪ ♪ 270 00:12:50,017 --> 00:12:52,012 - Hi--oh, thank you for the muffins. 271 00:12:52,014 --> 00:12:55,020 I wish I had time to do all the things you want, 272 00:12:55,022 --> 00:13:02,009 but I-I have to be in town to go celebrate some shoes. 273 00:13:02,011 --> 00:13:05,019 They won the--they won the award for best shoes. 274 00:13:05,021 --> 00:13:10,006 So, um, go run along, and let's do this another time. 275 00:13:10,008 --> 00:13:13,020 - Oh, of course. I understand you're very busy. 276 00:13:13,022 --> 00:13:16,019 But I sent you an email four years ago, 277 00:13:16,021 --> 00:13:19,012 and I got an out-of-office reply, 278 00:13:19,014 --> 00:13:22,018 and this house is on the Christmas Festivity Route, 279 00:13:22,020 --> 00:13:26,000 and I am on the board of the Holiday Society, 280 00:13:26,002 --> 00:13:28,008 so I've just been taking it upon myself 281 00:13:28,010 --> 00:13:30,018 to decorate this house for you every year 282 00:13:30,020 --> 00:13:33,012 because of your glaring absence in our community. 283 00:13:33,014 --> 00:13:35,001 - Great, thank you for doing that. 284 00:13:35,003 --> 00:13:37,022 - But you're home, which is wonderful! 285 00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:41,000 And now that I have you here, I have to ask, 286 00:13:41,002 --> 00:13:43,005 are you planning on decorating? 287 00:13:43,007 --> 00:13:46,007 Because I'm happy to do it again for you. 288 00:13:46,009 --> 00:13:48,008 - Ugh, you know what? 289 00:13:48,010 --> 00:13:51,003 If it really means so much to you, 290 00:13:51,005 --> 00:13:54,020 I would be happy to make the time in between my 11 jobs 291 00:13:54,022 --> 00:13:56,004 and hundreds and hundreds 292 00:13:56,006 --> 00:13:57,018 and hundreds of doctor's appointments. 293 00:13:57,020 --> 00:14:00,016 Thank you for thinking that you should stop by. 294 00:14:01,015 --> 00:14:04,013 - [panting] 295 00:14:04,015 --> 00:14:11,019 ♪ ♪ 296 00:14:17,014 --> 00:14:20,017 Where the fuck... 297 00:14:20,019 --> 00:14:23,023 [wind whistling] 298 00:14:25,008 --> 00:14:28,003 Okay. Okay. 299 00:14:28,005 --> 00:14:29,014 All right. 300 00:14:33,012 --> 00:14:36,005 [faint birds squawking] 301 00:14:36,007 --> 00:14:38,009 Hello? 302 00:14:38,011 --> 00:14:39,023 Help! 303 00:14:41,008 --> 00:14:42,016 Hello? 304 00:14:44,023 --> 00:14:47,002 [panting] 305 00:14:47,004 --> 00:14:48,014 Fuck! 306 00:15:03,004 --> 00:15:06,010 - Wow. - Yeah. 307 00:15:06,012 --> 00:15:08,020 - How did you get hired here? 308 00:15:08,022 --> 00:15:10,009 [faint cheerful music playing] 309 00:15:10,011 --> 00:15:13,012 - They put me in a program called Cheer Watch, 310 00:15:13,014 --> 00:15:15,008 and I basically have to fill out a bunch 311 00:15:15,010 --> 00:15:17,013 of extra weekly reports, and they pay me 312 00:15:17,015 --> 00:15:20,014 about half as much as they pay you guys. 313 00:15:20,016 --> 00:15:22,004 Please don't tell anyone that, okay? 314 00:15:22,006 --> 00:15:24,015 It's so embarrassing. - I would never. 315 00:15:24,017 --> 00:15:27,001 I believe that everyone, everywhere, 316 00:15:27,003 --> 00:15:29,001 no matter what they've done, 317 00:15:29,003 --> 00:15:31,023 deserves the chance to be happy. 318 00:15:32,001 --> 00:15:33,023 [both laugh] 319 00:15:34,001 --> 00:15:36,006 - Thanks. 320 00:15:36,008 --> 00:15:38,021 - Since you shared all that, 321 00:15:38,023 --> 00:15:40,015 I wanna share something with you. 322 00:15:40,017 --> 00:15:43,007 - Yes, yes, please, please. 323 00:15:43,009 --> 00:15:46,012 - I never tell anyone this. 324 00:15:46,014 --> 00:15:48,015 It's where all my pain comes from. 325 00:15:48,017 --> 00:15:50,011 ♪ ♪ 326 00:15:50,013 --> 00:15:52,002 But when I was 12, I was babysitting 327 00:15:52,004 --> 00:15:55,002 for the mayor's niece, and I decided to leave the house 328 00:15:55,004 --> 00:15:56,017 to go get a popsicle because they didn't 329 00:15:56,019 --> 00:15:58,015 ever have them at their house. [laughs] 330 00:15:58,017 --> 00:16:00,003 - Yeah. [chuckles] 331 00:16:00,005 --> 00:16:03,015 - So I took the baby with me to the gas station, 332 00:16:03,017 --> 00:16:06,001 and I was paranoid about being gone too long, 333 00:16:06,003 --> 00:16:07,012 so I wore my roller skates 334 00:16:07,014 --> 00:16:09,015 to get there and back faster, and... 335 00:16:12,002 --> 00:16:14,008 I was skating too fast. 336 00:16:14,010 --> 00:16:15,015 - Uh-huh. 337 00:16:16,018 --> 00:16:20,000 - And I tripped on a rock, and the baby went flying, 338 00:16:20,002 --> 00:16:22,021 and it flew perfectly into a gutter, 339 00:16:22,023 --> 00:16:26,014 like, where the street meets the curb. 340 00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:29,013 It didn't even hit the edges of the gutter. 341 00:16:29,015 --> 00:16:33,015 It just flew right into the hole like a perfect shot, 342 00:16:33,017 --> 00:16:35,020 and I heard it splash. 343 00:16:35,022 --> 00:16:38,004 - Oh, no. 344 00:16:40,014 --> 00:16:43,007 - I was a pariah. 345 00:16:43,009 --> 00:16:44,023 I was a monster. 346 00:16:45,001 --> 00:16:46,019 [sobbing] 347 00:16:46,021 --> 00:16:49,022 I can't deny what I did. I did what I did. 348 00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:54,014 But I choose to be happy. 349 00:16:54,016 --> 00:16:56,016 [laughs softly] 350 00:16:56,018 --> 00:16:59,003 - Hey. 351 00:16:59,005 --> 00:17:01,021 I'm so sorry that that happened to you. 352 00:17:01,023 --> 00:17:04,010 - It's okay. I'm happy. 353 00:17:04,012 --> 00:17:05,017 [both laugh] 354 00:17:05,019 --> 00:17:08,008 I'm in Merry Merry Land. - Yeah. 355 00:17:08,010 --> 00:17:11,010 - How could I not be happy here? 356 00:17:11,012 --> 00:17:13,000 Okay. 357 00:17:13,002 --> 00:17:15,005 We've both told each other the worst things. 358 00:17:15,007 --> 00:17:17,003 - Yeah. - That's it. 359 00:17:17,005 --> 00:17:18,016 No more lying. 360 00:17:18,018 --> 00:17:21,018 - Yes, no more lying. 361 00:17:21,020 --> 00:17:23,020 I promise. 362 00:17:37,011 --> 00:17:40,015 - [panting] 363 00:17:43,015 --> 00:17:45,003 Hello? 364 00:17:48,016 --> 00:17:50,016 Is anyone here? 365 00:17:56,021 --> 00:17:59,021 [light switch clicking] 366 00:18:11,010 --> 00:18:13,005 [phone dings] 367 00:18:19,002 --> 00:18:20,017 [radio clicks on] 368 00:18:20,019 --> 00:18:23,023 [whirring] 369 00:18:27,005 --> 00:18:28,010 [radio feedback] 370 00:18:28,012 --> 00:18:29,019 Hello? 371 00:18:29,021 --> 00:18:31,002 [static buzzing] 372 00:18:34,001 --> 00:18:35,006 Hello? 373 00:18:38,005 --> 00:18:39,020 - Fuck you. 374 00:18:40,018 --> 00:18:42,014 - Hello? 375 00:18:42,016 --> 00:18:44,019 - Fuck you! Fuck you! 376 00:18:44,021 --> 00:18:47,017 - Wh--where--are you-- 377 00:18:47,019 --> 00:18:49,020 is this a child? 378 00:18:49,022 --> 00:18:52,012 - Fuck you! Fuck you, fuck you! 379 00:18:52,014 --> 00:18:56,020 - Wait, I--can I talk to your mom or your dad, please? 380 00:18:56,022 --> 00:18:59,000 Are there any adults around? 381 00:18:59,002 --> 00:19:02,000 [static drones] 382 00:19:02,002 --> 00:19:03,023 - Fuck you! Bye, stupid. 383 00:19:04,001 --> 00:19:06,009 - No, wait, wait! Wait, hello? 384 00:19:06,011 --> 00:19:09,000 Hello? Hello? 385 00:19:16,012 --> 00:19:18,019 - How much do you love this look for the brunch scene? 386 00:19:18,021 --> 00:19:24,003 I mean, so indie, so vintage, so Dory, right? 387 00:19:24,005 --> 00:19:27,003 - Yeah, it's cute. I feel really bad. 388 00:19:27,005 --> 00:19:29,005 I don't wanna, like, step on your toes, you know? 389 00:19:29,007 --> 00:19:32,002 This is your art, and like, I, you know, 390 00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:33,014 I just don't feel good in this, 391 00:19:33,016 --> 00:19:34,022 and I kind of feel like a ghost. 392 00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:36,016 - Portia. Lassie Kazaar, the director. 393 00:19:36,018 --> 00:19:38,013 - Oh, my gosh! Hi! 394 00:19:38,015 --> 00:19:40,017 It's so nice to meet you. I'm sorry, I'm a hugger. 395 00:19:40,019 --> 00:19:43,008 - I'm not. So let's have a chat. 396 00:19:43,010 --> 00:19:45,006 Can you excuse us? - Of course. 397 00:19:45,008 --> 00:19:46,010 - Okay. - Bye. 398 00:19:46,012 --> 00:19:48,004 He's--he's, you know, incredible. 399 00:19:48,006 --> 00:19:49,021 I love all my op-- 400 00:19:49,023 --> 00:19:51,009 - Okay. - [clears throat] 401 00:19:51,011 --> 00:19:52,017 - So how are you feeling? 402 00:19:52,019 --> 00:19:54,010 This is kind of a big departure for you. 403 00:19:54,012 --> 00:19:56,001 - Yeah, I feel great, honestly. 404 00:19:56,003 --> 00:19:58,022 Like, I feel inspired and excited, 405 00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:01,009 and I feel like I'm born to play this part in a weird way, 406 00:20:01,011 --> 00:20:03,001 'cause it's, like, who better to play Dory 407 00:20:03,003 --> 00:20:04,020 than her best friend, you know what I mean? 408 00:20:04,022 --> 00:20:06,015 - Okay, well, I just wanted to check in 409 00:20:06,017 --> 00:20:08,023 and see if you have any questions about the character. 410 00:20:09,001 --> 00:20:10,014 - I do, actually. 411 00:20:10,016 --> 00:20:12,009 On the page, she's written, like, 412 00:20:12,011 --> 00:20:14,001 kind of harsh, do you know what I mean? 413 00:20:14,003 --> 00:20:16,012 And I wanna make sure that I add softness to her 414 00:20:16,014 --> 00:20:18,021 because Dor wasn't all bad, you know? 415 00:20:18,023 --> 00:20:21,015 And then I'm also, like-- is it too late to possibly 416 00:20:21,017 --> 00:20:23,013 rewrite the scene where, you know, 417 00:20:23,015 --> 00:20:25,010 she takes that cigarette and she puts it out 418 00:20:25,012 --> 00:20:27,008 on that little baby squirrel? 419 00:20:27,010 --> 00:20:30,013 I just feel like she wouldn't burn an animal. 420 00:20:30,015 --> 00:20:32,004 - I understand it might not have really happened. 421 00:20:32,006 --> 00:20:33,017 - Mm-hmm. - I know, it doesn't matter. 422 00:20:33,019 --> 00:20:35,009 - Okay. - When you're telling a story, 423 00:20:35,011 --> 00:20:37,004 you have to step things out for the audience. 424 00:20:37,006 --> 00:20:39,002 - Right, which is-- that just-- 425 00:20:39,004 --> 00:20:40,012 that's not truth. 426 00:20:40,014 --> 00:20:42,006 That's fake. That didn't happen. 427 00:20:42,008 --> 00:20:45,001 - Did you see my last movie, "Einstein in Miami"? 428 00:20:45,003 --> 00:20:46,020 - I didn't see it. 429 00:20:46,022 --> 00:20:48,007 - Oh. [laughs] 430 00:20:48,009 --> 00:20:50,012 Oh, okay, I thought you-- you're not kidding. 431 00:20:50,014 --> 00:20:52,001 - No. - Okay, that's crazy. 432 00:20:52,003 --> 00:20:53,014 Well... [laughs] 433 00:20:53,016 --> 00:20:57,003 People saw it and loved it. A lot of people. 434 00:20:57,005 --> 00:21:00,023 But what they also loved is seeing Einstein be in Miami. 435 00:21:01,001 --> 00:21:03,008 Guess what. He never stepped foot in Miami. 436 00:21:03,010 --> 00:21:05,014 I mean, I don't even think he knew what Florida was. 437 00:21:05,016 --> 00:21:07,003 - Right. - 'Cause back then, 438 00:21:07,005 --> 00:21:10,001 people couldn't just hop on a plane. 439 00:21:10,003 --> 00:21:13,003 So my point is, here, 440 00:21:13,005 --> 00:21:14,022 that this is gonna be a real fun movie. 441 00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:16,019 - This is gonna be really fun. 442 00:21:16,021 --> 00:21:21,011 But don't you wanna honor us? 443 00:21:21,013 --> 00:21:25,016 Like, we really were real people. 444 00:21:25,018 --> 00:21:27,003 That's the thing. 445 00:21:27,005 --> 00:21:30,001 - [laughs] You're too close to this. 446 00:21:30,003 --> 00:21:31,021 I knew you would be too close, 447 00:21:31,023 --> 00:21:35,000 and I told people that you would be too close. 448 00:21:35,002 --> 00:21:36,016 But no one listens to women. 449 00:21:36,018 --> 00:21:38,020 Fucking stuck with this one. 450 00:21:40,008 --> 00:21:41,018 - [panting] 451 00:21:41,020 --> 00:21:42,023 Hello? 452 00:21:51,006 --> 00:21:52,012 - Babe, you need to figure this out. 453 00:21:52,014 --> 00:21:55,018 - [gasps] I'm trying. 454 00:21:55,020 --> 00:21:57,015 - No, I get it, but you know, you made it this far. 455 00:21:57,017 --> 00:21:59,020 Just need to make it a little bit farther. 456 00:21:59,022 --> 00:22:02,013 - I don't know what else to do. - Where is everyone? 457 00:22:02,015 --> 00:22:05,002 Where is everyone? Dory needs help, okay? 458 00:22:05,004 --> 00:22:06,017 This is the "Dory Needs Help" show, 459 00:22:06,019 --> 00:22:09,013 and the first caller in gets to help Dory. 460 00:22:09,015 --> 00:22:12,004 Hello? [sighs] 461 00:22:12,006 --> 00:22:14,000 - Okay, what we need is survival skills. 462 00:22:14,002 --> 00:22:15,019 What if we just follow the Big Dipper, 463 00:22:15,021 --> 00:22:17,015 and, you know, eventually we'll hit a bodega! 464 00:22:17,017 --> 00:22:18,016 I don't know! 465 00:22:18,018 --> 00:22:20,006 - Oh, no, she's cold as ice. 466 00:22:20,008 --> 00:22:21,014 And this is no joke. 467 00:22:21,016 --> 00:22:23,000 She could freeze to death in the night. 468 00:22:23,002 --> 00:22:25,010 - That feels nice. - Oh, Dor. 469 00:22:25,012 --> 00:22:27,004 You look really pretty. 470 00:22:27,006 --> 00:22:28,016 You look really good, 471 00:22:28,018 --> 00:22:31,003 but you gotta start dressing for the weather, okay? 472 00:22:31,005 --> 00:22:33,002 [ethereal music] 473 00:22:33,004 --> 00:22:34,020 ♪ ♪ 474 00:22:34,022 --> 00:22:37,009 Dory, look. Look! 475 00:22:37,011 --> 00:22:40,020 A light. [laughs softly] 476 00:22:47,013 --> 00:22:49,014 - Oh, yeah. 477 00:22:51,008 --> 00:22:54,006 Hey, hey! 478 00:22:54,008 --> 00:22:59,004 Wait! Wait, wait, stop! 479 00:23:02,001 --> 00:23:03,003 [car door opens] 480 00:23:03,005 --> 00:23:05,017 Thank you. Thank you. 481 00:23:05,019 --> 00:23:07,012 [car door shuts] 482 00:23:07,014 --> 00:23:13,022 ♪ ♪ 483 00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:17,015 - Oh, look. A winter angel! 484 00:23:17,017 --> 00:23:20,021 You know, you real lucky that I came on this road. 485 00:23:20,023 --> 00:23:22,016 I normally don't come here at night. 486 00:23:22,018 --> 00:23:25,016 I get too scared of the way the branches look. 487 00:23:25,018 --> 00:23:28,001 - Can I use your phone? - Phone? 488 00:23:28,003 --> 00:23:29,008 [laughs] God, ah. 489 00:23:29,010 --> 00:23:31,005 Mobile phones rot the baby maker. 490 00:23:31,007 --> 00:23:34,002 I wanna make sure that I can have another child. 491 00:23:34,004 --> 00:23:36,015 You know, a man can have a child at any age. 492 00:23:36,017 --> 00:23:40,015 - Can you drop me off at the police station then? 493 00:23:40,017 --> 00:23:42,003 - I sure can. 494 00:23:42,005 --> 00:23:43,017 I think it's on the way to my daughter's house. 495 00:23:43,019 --> 00:23:47,011 We're having a white elephant. Yeah. 496 00:23:47,013 --> 00:23:50,007 Yeah, and you don't wanna be there without a present. 497 00:23:51,014 --> 00:23:53,023 You know, it's something peculiar, 498 00:23:54,001 --> 00:23:58,007 you look real familiar to me. 499 00:23:58,009 --> 00:24:00,004 - Do I? 500 00:24:00,006 --> 00:24:03,022 - You ever been a contestant on "Deal or No Deal"? 501 00:24:05,004 --> 00:24:06,011 - No. 502 00:24:06,013 --> 00:24:09,016 - I love it. Eat it with a spoon. 503 00:24:09,018 --> 00:24:14,003 But if it's that's not it... 504 00:24:14,005 --> 00:24:15,017 - Sir, sir? 505 00:24:15,019 --> 00:24:17,013 Can you keep your eyes on the road, please? 506 00:24:17,015 --> 00:24:19,009 - I--I knew you were innocent! 507 00:24:19,011 --> 00:24:20,016 I knew you weren't guilty! 508 00:24:20,018 --> 00:24:22,012 I knew it! - Sir! 509 00:24:22,014 --> 00:24:24,021 - I knew it, I told everyone! - Sir, please! 510 00:24:24,023 --> 00:24:26,022 Sir, please! Keep your eyes on the road! 511 00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:28,022 [screams] 512 00:24:31,010 --> 00:24:33,015 [insects chirring] 513 00:24:34,015 --> 00:24:37,005 - [laughs softly] 514 00:24:37,007 --> 00:24:40,008 [faint cheerful music playing] 515 00:24:40,010 --> 00:24:47,013 ♪ ♪ 516 00:24:56,019 --> 00:24:58,015 Is that my sweater? 517 00:24:59,020 --> 00:25:02,019 [dramatic music] 518 00:25:02,021 --> 00:25:05,011 ♪ ♪ 519 00:25:05,013 --> 00:25:08,000 What? 520 00:25:10,017 --> 00:25:11,020 - Here he comes! 521 00:25:11,022 --> 00:25:13,005 [crowd cheering] 522 00:25:13,007 --> 00:25:14,022 - Love you! - Elliott! 523 00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:16,023 - [laughs] 524 00:25:17,001 --> 00:25:19,005 Hi! 525 00:25:19,007 --> 00:25:20,016 [giggles] 526 00:25:20,018 --> 00:25:23,009 My fans, my beautiful fans! 527 00:25:23,011 --> 00:25:25,017 Hi. Hi. Mwah. 528 00:25:25,019 --> 00:25:28,006 - Would you sign... - Oh, sure, of course. 529 00:25:28,008 --> 00:25:29,022 - Hey, big girl. - Yeah? 530 00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:32,013 Oh, my God. Excuse you? 531 00:25:32,015 --> 00:25:34,002 - You little enemy of Dorothy. 532 00:25:34,004 --> 00:25:35,023 We had three cancellations this morning. 533 00:25:36,001 --> 00:25:37,023 - Well, congratulations. To them! 534 00:25:38,001 --> 00:25:39,004 [both scoff] 535 00:25:39,006 --> 00:25:40,009 Okay, can my fans arrest these people? 536 00:25:40,011 --> 00:25:41,012 Thank you. - No, no, no, no. 537 00:25:41,014 --> 00:25:42,020 You need to issue a retraction, 538 00:25:42,022 --> 00:25:44,006 or we're gonna sue you for libel. 539 00:25:44,008 --> 00:25:46,016 Nobody died at your stupid wedding! 540 00:25:46,018 --> 00:25:48,017 - Oh, please, you know very well 541 00:25:48,019 --> 00:25:50,017 that a twink died on your watch, okay? 542 00:25:50,019 --> 00:25:53,000 And that's the only reason my fiancé left me, by the way. 543 00:25:53,002 --> 00:25:54,014 - No, that twink did not die! - It is. 544 00:25:54,016 --> 00:25:57,002 - He is still alive, and he didn't even work for us. 545 00:25:57,004 --> 00:25:59,010 He faked everything. - What? 546 00:25:59,012 --> 00:26:00,022 - You will die an old maid! 547 00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:03,002 - Oh, eat my ass! 548 00:26:03,004 --> 00:26:06,002 [tense music] 549 00:26:06,004 --> 00:26:08,009 ♪ ♪ 550 00:26:08,011 --> 00:26:11,001 [bird squawking] 551 00:26:11,003 --> 00:26:13,018 [car engine ticking] 552 00:26:13,020 --> 00:26:17,000 [wind whistling] 553 00:26:29,006 --> 00:26:32,011 - [ragged breathing] 554 00:26:59,011 --> 00:27:02,018 [grunting] 555 00:27:02,020 --> 00:27:05,006 [horn honking] 556 00:27:06,016 --> 00:27:09,013 [sobbing] 557 00:27:14,006 --> 00:27:16,017 - ♪ The chills that you spill up my back ♪ 558 00:27:16,019 --> 00:27:19,018 ♪ Keep me filled with satisfaction when we're done ♪ 559 00:27:19,020 --> 00:27:22,014 ♪ Satisfaction of what's to come ♪ 560 00:27:22,016 --> 00:27:26,000 ♪ I couldn't ask for another ♪ 561 00:27:26,002 --> 00:27:28,012 ♪ No, I couldn't ask for another ♪ 562 00:27:28,014 --> 00:27:30,013 ♪ You know that's right ♪ 563 00:27:30,015 --> 00:27:34,015 - Well, looks like you need my help. 564 00:27:35,010 --> 00:27:38,001 - ♪ I look for signs ♪ 565 00:27:38,003 --> 00:27:44,000 ♪ Get lost in the noise of the words that don't mean much ♪ 566 00:27:44,002 --> 00:27:46,020 ♪ I'll be defiant ♪ 567 00:27:46,022 --> 00:27:49,000 ♪ The one that could change us ♪ 568 00:27:49,002 --> 00:27:52,021 ♪ I'll give you the same love ♪ 569 00:27:52,023 --> 00:27:54,021 ♪ I darling, darling, don't know ♪ 570 00:27:54,023 --> 00:27:57,001 ♪ How fame, faith, and the fallout ♪ 571 00:27:57,003 --> 00:28:01,008 ♪ Time's up, times are getting loud ♪ 572 00:28:01,010 --> 00:28:03,013 ♪ I darling, darling, don't know ♪ 573 00:28:03,015 --> 00:28:05,017 ♪ How fame, faith, and the fallout ♪ 574 00:28:05,019 --> 00:28:10,009 ♪ Time's up, times are getting loud ♪ 575 00:28:10,011 --> 00:28:12,008 ♪ Every move I make ♪ 576 00:28:12,010 --> 00:28:14,014 ♪ I make with no mistake ♪ 577 00:28:14,016 --> 00:28:17,005 ♪ See, I know my heart ♪ 578 00:28:18,007 --> 00:28:19,018 - [coughs]