1 00:00:04,791 --> 00:00:07,208 [keypad beeping] 2 00:00:07,291 --> 00:00:09,875 [door buzzes] 3 00:00:09,958 --> 00:00:11,625 [door creaks] 4 00:00:20,250 --> 00:00:22,416 [door creaks] 5 00:00:22,500 --> 00:00:24,041 - What--what is this? 6 00:00:24,125 --> 00:00:27,458 - It's a present. I made it for you. 7 00:00:30,875 --> 00:00:32,208 - Oh. 8 00:00:34,708 --> 00:00:36,208 - I know it doesn't look like much, 9 00:00:36,291 --> 00:00:38,708 but I wanted to surprise you. 10 00:00:38,791 --> 00:00:40,708 - A surprise for what? 11 00:00:40,791 --> 00:00:45,333 - Well, do you mind telling me what day it is, Chip? 12 00:00:45,416 --> 00:00:47,958 - It's the 10th day of December. 13 00:00:48,041 --> 00:00:51,833 - Oh, shoot. We missed it. 14 00:00:51,916 --> 00:00:55,208 - We missed what? - Nothing. Forget it. 15 00:00:55,291 --> 00:00:57,041 - No, no, wait. Dory, please, please tell me. 16 00:00:57,125 --> 00:00:58,583 What did we miss? Please? 17 00:00:58,666 --> 00:01:01,583 - It's silly. It's just... 18 00:01:01,666 --> 00:01:03,583 our three month friend-iversary. 19 00:01:03,666 --> 00:01:05,500 I thought it would be nice to celebrate the day 20 00:01:05,583 --> 00:01:08,375 that I arrived here by doing something special like-- 21 00:01:08,458 --> 00:01:10,833 like a dinner together or something. 22 00:01:10,916 --> 00:01:13,875 But...we missed it, so... 23 00:01:13,958 --> 00:01:17,666 It's okay, we can just celebrate it next year. 24 00:01:17,750 --> 00:01:19,416 - [sighs] 25 00:01:19,500 --> 00:01:22,083 Fuck! Idiot! 26 00:01:23,375 --> 00:01:25,166 - Oh, well. 27 00:01:25,250 --> 00:01:26,500 - We can just do it now. 28 00:01:26,583 --> 00:01:27,958 - Yeah? - Yeah! 29 00:01:28,041 --> 00:01:29,166 - Okay-- - Wait, don't eat this. 30 00:01:29,250 --> 00:01:30,458 I'm gonna make something special. 31 00:01:30,541 --> 00:01:32,166 - Okay. - Oh, my God. 32 00:01:32,250 --> 00:01:33,791 Dory, I'm so happy 33 00:01:33,875 --> 00:01:36,125 that you're finally acknowledging we're friends. 34 00:01:36,208 --> 00:01:37,458 - Me too. 35 00:01:37,541 --> 00:01:39,291 - Ugh! - [giggles] 36 00:01:39,375 --> 00:01:41,333 - I'm so lucky. 37 00:01:42,041 --> 00:01:45,458 [Purity Ring's "Obedear"] 38 00:01:45,541 --> 00:01:50,333 - ♪ Oh, but dear, the sky is low, watch ♪ 39 00:01:50,416 --> 00:01:54,375 ♪ Fluent sea men rig their rudders so ♪ 40 00:01:54,458 --> 00:01:55,958 both: Amen. 41 00:01:57,041 --> 00:01:59,000 - What did you pray for today, Charlie? 42 00:01:59,083 --> 00:02:03,000 - I prayed for my makeup artist, Missy Winebasket. 43 00:02:03,083 --> 00:02:05,583 I overheard Missy on the phone with her mommy 44 00:02:05,666 --> 00:02:09,000 that she was at the Midtown Women's March this weekend. 45 00:02:10,083 --> 00:02:11,500 I pray for you, Missy, 46 00:02:11,583 --> 00:02:13,250 and I pray for all the women out there 47 00:02:13,333 --> 00:02:15,916 who claim to be "feminists" when they're really just 48 00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:18,208 man-hating, handout-hungry witches 49 00:02:18,291 --> 00:02:20,458 who come together to wear hideous pink hats 50 00:02:20,541 --> 00:02:23,833 and to cast spells on women like me with differing beliefs 51 00:02:23,916 --> 00:02:25,208 all in the name of a movement 52 00:02:25,291 --> 00:02:27,250 that's been irrelevant since 1920. 53 00:02:27,333 --> 00:02:29,250 What did you pray for? - Thank you, Charlie. 54 00:02:29,333 --> 00:02:30,625 That was beautiful, first of all. 55 00:02:30,708 --> 00:02:31,833 - Mm-hmm. 56 00:02:31,916 --> 00:02:34,541 - Today, I pray for a gay restaurant 57 00:02:34,625 --> 00:02:37,166 that I was booed out of this morning. 58 00:02:37,250 --> 00:02:38,916 Yeah. [scoffs] 59 00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:41,000 Okay, I just wanna say and get this on the record finally. 60 00:02:41,083 --> 00:02:43,041 I hate gay people. 61 00:02:43,125 --> 00:02:44,375 And I'm allowed to hate myself. 62 00:02:44,458 --> 00:02:46,041 It's actually in the Constitution. 63 00:02:46,125 --> 00:02:48,375 Do I think gay people should exist? No. 64 00:02:48,458 --> 00:02:51,875 Do I think I should exist? Absolutely not, okay? 65 00:02:51,958 --> 00:02:54,541 And I do not have a problem in being a vocal advocate 66 00:02:54,625 --> 00:02:57,291 in violently dismantling gay rights, okay? 67 00:02:57,375 --> 00:02:59,250 No more workplace protections. 68 00:02:59,333 --> 00:03:01,375 No more, people. No more marriage. 69 00:03:01,458 --> 00:03:04,458 I can't believe that I almost got gay married. 70 00:03:04,541 --> 00:03:06,583 Yeah, me. True life, okay? 71 00:03:06,666 --> 00:03:08,625 You know what happens when you get gay married? 72 00:03:08,708 --> 00:03:10,208 People die. 73 00:03:10,291 --> 00:03:13,041 A caterer was hit by a car at my wedding. 74 00:03:13,125 --> 00:03:15,166 A car that a lesbian was driving. 75 00:03:15,250 --> 00:03:16,791 So...psh. So yeah. 76 00:03:16,875 --> 00:03:19,541 My prayer today is that there is a gay gene 77 00:03:19,625 --> 00:03:21,625 and that scientists can find it, 78 00:03:21,708 --> 00:03:23,583 isolate it, and kill it. 79 00:03:23,666 --> 00:03:25,333 Thank you. 80 00:03:25,416 --> 00:03:27,208 - Great prayer. 81 00:03:27,291 --> 00:03:32,666 - This china was a gift to my Aunt Lylah from JFK. 82 00:03:32,750 --> 00:03:35,666 [classical music playing] 83 00:03:35,750 --> 00:03:37,416 - No silverware? 84 00:03:37,500 --> 00:03:40,375 - No, no silverware, just the beautiful china. 85 00:03:40,458 --> 00:03:42,750 Forgive me for not being able to trust you 86 00:03:42,833 --> 00:03:47,291 around sharp objects, but you made your bed. 87 00:03:47,375 --> 00:03:50,791 ♪ ♪ 88 00:03:50,875 --> 00:03:53,166 - [sighs] 89 00:03:53,250 --> 00:03:56,416 - Hey, you're sulking. - Oh. 90 00:03:56,500 --> 00:03:58,125 - Isn't this what you wanted? - I'm sorry. 91 00:03:58,208 --> 00:04:01,458 This all looks so beautiful. - Thank you. 92 00:04:01,541 --> 00:04:05,750 - And I just wish that I felt beautiful too. 93 00:04:05,833 --> 00:04:08,666 - Oh, you look great. You look great the way you are. 94 00:04:08,750 --> 00:04:13,291 - No, I just-- I wanna look nice, you know? 95 00:04:13,375 --> 00:04:16,583 Like, put on a fancy dress 96 00:04:16,666 --> 00:04:21,916 or, I don't know, take a shower. 97 00:04:26,791 --> 00:04:29,666 - Well, I can get you a dress. - Yeah? 98 00:04:29,750 --> 00:04:32,125 - Yeah, I think Aunt Lylah has just the right one. 99 00:04:32,208 --> 00:04:33,750 - Okay, yeah, I mean-- - Yeah. 100 00:04:33,833 --> 00:04:35,375 - Yeah, a dress would be-- a dress would be great. 101 00:04:35,458 --> 00:04:37,000 - It should fit you just perfectly. 102 00:04:37,083 --> 00:04:38,916 [both chuckle] 103 00:04:40,875 --> 00:04:43,583 [door creaks] 104 00:04:43,666 --> 00:04:45,541 [door shuts] 105 00:04:47,541 --> 00:04:49,875 - Oh, the teeth! That counts, that counts. 106 00:04:49,958 --> 00:04:52,416 - No, no, no. If it's teeth, I get a point. 107 00:04:52,500 --> 00:04:54,000 - [laughs] No! 108 00:04:54,083 --> 00:04:56,291 - Boys, I'm sorry. 109 00:04:56,375 --> 00:04:58,833 But can Andrew and I have a moment? 110 00:04:58,916 --> 00:05:01,916 - Ooh, I don't like that tone. 111 00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:04,541 - Well, why do I have to leave? 112 00:05:04,625 --> 00:05:06,583 - I-- - [sighs] 113 00:05:06,666 --> 00:05:07,916 - Please? 114 00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:10,916 - People take advantage of me. Always have. 115 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:13,083 [faint cheerful music playing] 116 00:05:13,166 --> 00:05:16,333 - Hey, what's going on? 117 00:05:17,708 --> 00:05:20,041 - Well, I don't know how to say this, 118 00:05:20,125 --> 00:05:22,833 but I Googled you. 119 00:05:22,916 --> 00:05:25,125 And after a few dozen Andrew Gardners come up, 120 00:05:25,208 --> 00:05:27,583 you start to see Drew Gardner, 121 00:05:27,666 --> 00:05:30,000 and I learned that you're not from South Africa. 122 00:05:30,083 --> 00:05:32,166 You were born in Chicago. 123 00:05:32,250 --> 00:05:34,208 And that... 124 00:05:34,291 --> 00:05:35,708 [whispers] You need glasses. 125 00:05:36,625 --> 00:05:40,541 And I learned a few other things. 126 00:05:40,625 --> 00:05:43,541 [faint indistinct chatter] 127 00:05:43,625 --> 00:05:46,500 - Um, is this about my murder trial? 128 00:05:46,583 --> 00:05:48,875 - [squeals] - Okay, okay-- 129 00:05:48,958 --> 00:05:51,208 - So what it says is true? 130 00:05:51,291 --> 00:05:53,666 - Hey, look, I-- - No, no, no, no, no. 131 00:05:53,750 --> 00:05:55,125 - Hey, hey, hey. 132 00:05:55,208 --> 00:05:57,875 I'm so, so sorry I didn't tell you about it, okay? 133 00:05:57,958 --> 00:06:04,083 It's just I came here to put that life behind me, okay? 134 00:06:04,166 --> 00:06:05,375 And that's not who I am. 135 00:06:05,458 --> 00:06:07,708 I mean, it is. Yeah, it is, it's-- 136 00:06:07,791 --> 00:06:10,750 I don't want it to be anymore, okay? 137 00:06:10,833 --> 00:06:15,208 And I like it here because none of that stuff exists. 138 00:06:15,291 --> 00:06:17,833 I could sit here and I could just lie to you 139 00:06:17,916 --> 00:06:21,458 about my past, but I don't wanna do that to you, okay? 140 00:06:21,541 --> 00:06:26,583 So ask me anything and-- and I'll tell you the truth. 141 00:06:26,666 --> 00:06:29,833 Whatever you wanna know, just ask. 142 00:06:29,916 --> 00:06:31,250 - Okay. - Okay? 143 00:06:31,333 --> 00:06:33,208 [classical music playing] 144 00:06:33,291 --> 00:06:34,625 - [gasps] 145 00:06:34,708 --> 00:06:37,041 Oh, my God. 146 00:06:37,125 --> 00:06:39,125 Oh, you look so beautiful. 147 00:06:39,208 --> 00:06:40,750 - Really? - Oh. 148 00:06:40,833 --> 00:06:43,333 Do you feel better? - Mm-hmm. 149 00:06:43,416 --> 00:06:46,583 - [laughs] Well, dinner is served. 150 00:06:46,666 --> 00:06:48,708 - Oh, okay. 151 00:06:49,666 --> 00:06:51,083 Oh, wow. 152 00:06:51,166 --> 00:06:53,208 It looks so good. 153 00:06:54,333 --> 00:06:55,958 - Happy friend-iversary. 154 00:06:57,000 --> 00:07:00,041 - Happy friend-iversary. 155 00:07:00,125 --> 00:07:07,291 ♪ ♪ 156 00:07:17,083 --> 00:07:18,666 - Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! 157 00:07:18,750 --> 00:07:21,416 - No, no, no, come on! It's a food fight. 158 00:07:21,500 --> 00:07:23,125 Every friendship has a food fight. 159 00:07:23,208 --> 00:07:24,583 Didn't you know that? 160 00:07:25,791 --> 00:07:27,458 - Wait, really? 161 00:07:27,541 --> 00:07:30,791 [grunts] Oh, my God! 162 00:07:30,875 --> 00:07:32,875 [both laugh] 163 00:07:32,958 --> 00:07:35,125 - Oh, come on. You can do better than that. 164 00:07:35,208 --> 00:07:37,083 - [laughs] 165 00:07:37,166 --> 00:07:40,166 [both laughing] 166 00:07:40,875 --> 00:07:42,166 [yells] 167 00:07:42,250 --> 00:07:45,875 [both laughing] 168 00:07:55,416 --> 00:07:58,500 - Okay, okay, okay, okay, you win, you win! 169 00:07:58,583 --> 00:08:01,041 - Yeah! 170 00:08:02,625 --> 00:08:05,125 [laughs] - [panting] 171 00:08:05,208 --> 00:08:07,875 Oh, no. 172 00:08:07,958 --> 00:08:12,416 Chip, you got too carried away. 173 00:08:12,500 --> 00:08:16,666 - But--but...food fight. 174 00:08:16,750 --> 00:08:19,458 - I mean, I gonna have to get cleaned up. 175 00:08:19,541 --> 00:08:23,208 I can't eat like this. 176 00:08:23,291 --> 00:08:26,291 I really wish you had controlled yourself, Chip. 177 00:08:27,250 --> 00:08:28,958 - Oh. 178 00:08:29,583 --> 00:08:32,625 - What are we gonna do now? 179 00:08:32,708 --> 00:08:34,791 [faucet squeaks] 180 00:08:34,875 --> 00:08:38,541 - You know, I actually invented 181 00:08:38,625 --> 00:08:42,000 a very powerful stain remover six years ago. 182 00:08:42,083 --> 00:08:44,375 I didn't even mean to. I was just messing around 183 00:08:44,458 --> 00:08:49,833 with some chemicals to remind myself of my time at MIT. 184 00:08:49,916 --> 00:08:51,416 - That's amazing, Chip. 185 00:08:51,500 --> 00:08:53,708 - Well, that's not the amazing part. 186 00:08:53,791 --> 00:08:56,916 The amazing part is a laboratory 187 00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:59,916 got their hands on it, and they discovered 188 00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:03,166 that it is as close to a cure for lupus 189 00:09:03,250 --> 00:09:04,625 that we presently have. 190 00:09:04,708 --> 00:09:05,750 Can you believe that? 191 00:09:05,833 --> 00:09:07,416 I didn't mean to invent 192 00:09:07,500 --> 00:09:10,083 a stain remover or a cure for lupus, 193 00:09:10,166 --> 00:09:14,166 let alone a stain remover that would become a cure for lupus. 194 00:09:14,250 --> 00:09:15,875 So you see what I mean about having 195 00:09:15,958 --> 00:09:17,916 too many options in my life? 196 00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:19,625 I mean, if I succeed at everything, 197 00:09:19,708 --> 00:09:22,625 how am I supposed to choose? 198 00:09:22,708 --> 00:09:24,958 - Chip? - Yeah? 199 00:09:25,041 --> 00:09:27,166 - Would--would you sing me something? 200 00:09:27,250 --> 00:09:30,333 - Of course. Um... 201 00:09:30,416 --> 00:09:32,750 Okay--two, three, four. 202 00:09:32,833 --> 00:09:36,500 ♪ The chills that you spill up my back keep me filled ♪ 203 00:09:36,583 --> 00:09:38,375 ♪ With satisfaction when we're done ♪ 204 00:09:38,458 --> 00:09:41,750 ♪ Satisfaction of what's to come ♪ 205 00:09:41,833 --> 00:09:45,166 - ♪ No, I wouldn't ask for another ♪ 206 00:09:45,250 --> 00:09:47,958 - Pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pew! 207 00:09:48,041 --> 00:09:49,291 - No! 208 00:09:49,375 --> 00:09:53,250 ♪ No, I couldn't ask for another ♪ 209 00:09:53,333 --> 00:09:55,625 - ♪ Your groove I do deeply dig ♪ 210 00:09:55,708 --> 00:09:58,083 ♪ No walls, only the bridge ♪ 211 00:09:58,166 --> 00:10:02,333 ♪ My supper dish, my succotash wish ♪ 212 00:10:02,416 --> 00:10:07,458 - No, I couldn't ask for another ♪ 213 00:10:07,541 --> 00:10:11,708 - Pew! 214 00:10:11,791 --> 00:10:16,916 - No, I couldn't ask for another ♪ 215 00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:18,666 - What are you doing? - [gasps] 216 00:10:18,750 --> 00:10:19,750 [grunts] 217 00:10:19,833 --> 00:10:21,166 - Stop it! What-- 218 00:10:21,250 --> 00:10:23,000 - [yells] - [shouts] 219 00:10:23,083 --> 00:10:24,541 [grunts] 220 00:10:24,625 --> 00:10:26,875 - Dory! What are you doing? 221 00:10:26,958 --> 00:10:29,583 Unlock the door, Dory! 222 00:10:29,666 --> 00:10:32,000 Dory, Dory, Dory, Dory! 223 00:10:32,083 --> 00:10:34,958 - Fuck! [grunts angrily] 224 00:10:35,041 --> 00:10:38,791 - Hey, what are you doing in there? 225 00:10:38,875 --> 00:10:40,291 [suspenseful music] 226 00:10:40,375 --> 00:10:42,708 Oh, my God-- [grunting] 227 00:10:42,791 --> 00:10:44,083 - [yells] 228 00:10:44,166 --> 00:10:46,416 Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! 229 00:10:46,500 --> 00:10:48,208 [screams] Motherfuck-- 230 00:10:48,291 --> 00:10:50,666 - Dory! Oh, my God! 231 00:10:50,750 --> 00:10:55,083 I am--I'm not bad. I know--I know you're scared. 232 00:10:55,166 --> 00:10:56,208 - [grunts] 233 00:10:56,291 --> 00:10:58,958 - If you just like me better, 234 00:10:59,041 --> 00:11:01,375 you'll feel like a good friend! 235 00:11:01,458 --> 00:11:08,666 ♪ ♪ 236 00:11:13,458 --> 00:11:15,625 - [screams] Oh! 237 00:11:15,708 --> 00:11:17,541 Hi, Lylah? 238 00:11:17,625 --> 00:11:20,208 It's your neighbor, Paula Jo. 239 00:11:20,291 --> 00:11:21,208 - [quietly] Fuck. 240 00:11:21,291 --> 00:11:22,541 - Was that you who just 241 00:11:22,625 --> 00:11:25,708 slammed the door in my face? 242 00:11:25,791 --> 00:11:29,208 We haven't formally met, but I've been decorating 243 00:11:29,291 --> 00:11:31,750 this house for Christmas every year. 244 00:11:31,833 --> 00:11:33,250 - Shut up! 245 00:11:33,333 --> 00:11:35,041 - I saw the car out in the driveway and I thought, 246 00:11:35,125 --> 00:11:38,208 "Well, that must be the elusive Lylah!" 247 00:11:38,291 --> 00:11:41,125 - Yes, it's me. Um... 248 00:11:41,208 --> 00:11:45,125 Hi, I--I'm--you caught me at a really bad time, darling. 249 00:11:45,208 --> 00:11:48,541 I-I'm just about to rush out the door. 250 00:11:48,625 --> 00:11:51,000 - I know you're in a hurry, but I'm here now 251 00:11:51,083 --> 00:11:53,666 and this works for me, so if we could just do 252 00:11:53,750 --> 00:11:55,416 a real quick walk around the house 253 00:11:55,500 --> 00:11:58,666 and take a look at where it might be just fantastic 254 00:11:58,750 --> 00:12:00,708 for you to decorate. 255 00:12:00,791 --> 00:12:01,958 - Fuck! 256 00:12:02,041 --> 00:12:05,833 Yeah, great! Just hold on one minute! 257 00:12:05,916 --> 00:12:08,500 Um... 258 00:12:08,583 --> 00:12:11,250 - [panting nervously] Oh. 259 00:12:11,333 --> 00:12:12,750 ♪ ♪ 260 00:12:12,833 --> 00:12:17,250 - I just have to put the cats into the other room. 261 00:12:17,333 --> 00:12:20,583 Otherwise, they'll just rush right out the door, 262 00:12:20,666 --> 00:12:23,416 and we do not wanna spend the afternoon 263 00:12:23,500 --> 00:12:25,375 chasing cats, now, do we? 264 00:12:25,458 --> 00:12:26,583 - No. 265 00:12:26,666 --> 00:12:29,083 - So just let me grab them here. 266 00:12:29,166 --> 00:12:30,500 Come on, Buttercup. 267 00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:33,791 Okay, I'm nearly done putting away the cats. 268 00:12:33,875 --> 00:12:36,791 - Good, because it's very cold out here, 269 00:12:36,875 --> 00:12:39,083 and these muffins are really heavy. 270 00:12:39,166 --> 00:12:42,083 - [panting] 271 00:12:42,166 --> 00:12:49,333 ♪ ♪ 272 00:12:50,708 --> 00:12:52,500 - Hi--oh, thank you for the muffins. 273 00:12:52,583 --> 00:12:55,833 I wish I had time to do all the things you want, 274 00:12:55,916 --> 00:13:02,375 but I-I have to be in town to go celebrate some shoes. 275 00:13:02,458 --> 00:13:05,791 They won the--they won the award for best shoes. 276 00:13:05,875 --> 00:13:10,250 So, um, go run along, and let's do this another time. 277 00:13:10,333 --> 00:13:13,833 - Oh, of course. I understand you're very busy. 278 00:13:13,916 --> 00:13:16,791 But I sent you an email four years ago, 279 00:13:16,875 --> 00:13:19,500 and I got an out-of-office reply, 280 00:13:19,583 --> 00:13:22,750 and this house is on the Christmas Festivity Route, 281 00:13:22,833 --> 00:13:26,000 and I am on the board of the Holiday Society, 282 00:13:26,083 --> 00:13:28,333 so I've just been taking it upon myself 283 00:13:28,416 --> 00:13:30,750 to decorate this house for you every year 284 00:13:30,833 --> 00:13:33,500 because of your glaring absence in our community. 285 00:13:33,583 --> 00:13:35,041 - Great, thank you for doing that. 286 00:13:35,125 --> 00:13:37,916 - But you're home, which is wonderful! 287 00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:41,000 And now that I have you here, I have to ask, 288 00:13:41,083 --> 00:13:43,208 are you planning on decorating? 289 00:13:43,291 --> 00:13:46,291 Because I'm happy to do it again for you. 290 00:13:46,375 --> 00:13:48,333 - Ugh, you know what? 291 00:13:48,416 --> 00:13:51,125 If it really means so much to you, 292 00:13:51,208 --> 00:13:54,833 I would be happy to make the time in between my 11 jobs 293 00:13:54,916 --> 00:13:56,166 and hundreds and hundreds 294 00:13:56,250 --> 00:13:57,750 and hundreds of doctor's appointments. 295 00:13:57,833 --> 00:14:00,666 Thank you for thinking that you should stop by. 296 00:14:01,625 --> 00:14:04,541 - [panting] 297 00:14:04,625 --> 00:14:11,791 ♪ ♪ 298 00:14:17,583 --> 00:14:20,708 Where the fuck... 299 00:14:20,791 --> 00:14:23,958 [wind whistling] 300 00:14:25,333 --> 00:14:28,125 Okay. Okay. 301 00:14:28,208 --> 00:14:29,583 All right. 302 00:14:33,500 --> 00:14:36,208 [faint birds squawking] 303 00:14:36,291 --> 00:14:38,375 Hello? 304 00:14:38,458 --> 00:14:39,958 Help! 305 00:14:41,333 --> 00:14:42,666 Hello? 306 00:14:44,958 --> 00:14:47,083 [panting] 307 00:14:47,166 --> 00:14:48,583 Fuck! 308 00:15:03,166 --> 00:15:06,416 - Wow. - Yeah. 309 00:15:06,500 --> 00:15:08,833 - How did you get hired here? 310 00:15:08,916 --> 00:15:10,375 [faint cheerful music playing] 311 00:15:10,458 --> 00:15:13,500 - They put me in a program called Cheer Watch, 312 00:15:13,583 --> 00:15:15,333 and I basically have to fill out a bunch 313 00:15:15,416 --> 00:15:17,541 of extra weekly reports, and they pay me 314 00:15:17,625 --> 00:15:20,583 about half as much as they pay you guys. 315 00:15:20,666 --> 00:15:22,166 Please don't tell anyone that, okay? 316 00:15:22,250 --> 00:15:24,625 It's so embarrassing. - I would never. 317 00:15:24,708 --> 00:15:27,041 I believe that everyone, everywhere, 318 00:15:27,125 --> 00:15:29,041 no matter what they've done, 319 00:15:29,125 --> 00:15:31,958 deserves the chance to be happy. 320 00:15:32,041 --> 00:15:33,958 [both laugh] 321 00:15:34,041 --> 00:15:36,250 - Thanks. 322 00:15:36,333 --> 00:15:38,875 - Since you shared all that, 323 00:15:38,958 --> 00:15:40,625 I wanna share something with you. 324 00:15:40,708 --> 00:15:43,291 - Yes, yes, please, please. 325 00:15:43,375 --> 00:15:46,500 - I never tell anyone this. 326 00:15:46,583 --> 00:15:48,625 It's where all my pain comes from. 327 00:15:48,708 --> 00:15:50,458 ♪ ♪ 328 00:15:50,541 --> 00:15:52,083 But when I was 12, I was babysitting 329 00:15:52,166 --> 00:15:55,083 for the mayor's niece, and I decided to leave the house 330 00:15:55,166 --> 00:15:56,708 to go get a popsicle because they didn't 331 00:15:56,791 --> 00:15:58,625 ever have them at their house. [laughs] 332 00:15:58,708 --> 00:16:00,125 - Yeah. [chuckles] 333 00:16:00,208 --> 00:16:03,625 - So I took the baby with me to the gas station, 334 00:16:03,708 --> 00:16:06,041 and I was paranoid about being gone too long, 335 00:16:06,125 --> 00:16:07,500 so I wore my roller skates 336 00:16:07,583 --> 00:16:09,625 to get there and back faster, and... 337 00:16:12,083 --> 00:16:14,333 I was skating too fast. 338 00:16:14,416 --> 00:16:15,625 - Uh-huh. 339 00:16:16,750 --> 00:16:20,000 - And I tripped on a rock, and the baby went flying, 340 00:16:20,083 --> 00:16:22,875 and it flew perfectly into a gutter, 341 00:16:22,958 --> 00:16:26,583 like, where the street meets the curb. 342 00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:29,541 It didn't even hit the edges of the gutter. 343 00:16:29,625 --> 00:16:33,625 It just flew right into the hole like a perfect shot, 344 00:16:33,708 --> 00:16:35,833 and I heard it splash. 345 00:16:35,916 --> 00:16:38,166 - Oh, no. 346 00:16:40,583 --> 00:16:43,291 - I was a pariah. 347 00:16:43,375 --> 00:16:44,958 I was a monster. 348 00:16:45,041 --> 00:16:46,791 [sobbing] 349 00:16:46,875 --> 00:16:49,916 I can't deny what I did. I did what I did. 350 00:16:52,458 --> 00:16:54,583 But I choose to be happy. 351 00:16:54,666 --> 00:16:56,666 [laughs softly] 352 00:16:56,750 --> 00:16:59,125 - Hey. 353 00:16:59,208 --> 00:17:01,875 I'm so sorry that that happened to you. 354 00:17:01,958 --> 00:17:04,416 - It's okay. I'm happy. 355 00:17:04,500 --> 00:17:05,708 [both laugh] 356 00:17:05,791 --> 00:17:08,333 I'm in Merry Merry Land. - Yeah. 357 00:17:08,416 --> 00:17:11,416 - How could I not be happy here? 358 00:17:11,500 --> 00:17:13,000 Okay. 359 00:17:13,083 --> 00:17:15,208 We've both told each other the worst things. 360 00:17:15,291 --> 00:17:17,125 - Yeah. - That's it. 361 00:17:17,208 --> 00:17:18,666 No more lying. 362 00:17:18,750 --> 00:17:21,750 - Yes, no more lying. 363 00:17:21,833 --> 00:17:23,833 I promise. 364 00:17:37,458 --> 00:17:40,625 - [panting] 365 00:17:43,625 --> 00:17:45,125 Hello? 366 00:17:48,666 --> 00:17:50,666 Is anyone here? 367 00:17:56,875 --> 00:17:59,875 [light switch clicking] 368 00:18:11,416 --> 00:18:13,208 [phone dings] 369 00:18:19,083 --> 00:18:20,708 [radio clicks on] 370 00:18:20,791 --> 00:18:23,958 [whirring] 371 00:18:27,208 --> 00:18:28,416 [radio feedback] 372 00:18:28,500 --> 00:18:29,791 Hello? 373 00:18:29,875 --> 00:18:31,083 [static buzzing] 374 00:18:31,166 --> 00:18:32,375 Hello? 375 00:18:34,041 --> 00:18:35,250 Hello? 376 00:18:38,208 --> 00:18:39,833 - Fuck you. 377 00:18:40,750 --> 00:18:42,583 - Hello? 378 00:18:42,666 --> 00:18:44,791 - Fuck you! Fuck you! 379 00:18:44,875 --> 00:18:47,708 - Wh--where--are you-- 380 00:18:47,791 --> 00:18:49,833 is this a child? 381 00:18:49,916 --> 00:18:52,500 - Fuck you! Fuck you, fuck you! 382 00:18:52,583 --> 00:18:56,833 - Wait, I--can I talk to your mom or your dad, please? 383 00:18:56,916 --> 00:18:59,000 Are there any adults around? 384 00:18:59,083 --> 00:19:02,000 [static drones] 385 00:19:02,083 --> 00:19:03,958 - Fuck you! Bye, stupid. 386 00:19:04,041 --> 00:19:06,375 - No, wait, wait! Wait, hello? 387 00:19:06,458 --> 00:19:09,000 Hello? Hello? 388 00:19:16,500 --> 00:19:18,791 - How much do you love this look for the brunch scene? 389 00:19:18,875 --> 00:19:24,125 I mean, so indie, so vintage, so Dory, right? 390 00:19:24,208 --> 00:19:27,125 - Yeah, it's cute. I feel really bad. 391 00:19:27,208 --> 00:19:29,208 I don't wanna, like, step on your toes, you know? 392 00:19:29,291 --> 00:19:32,083 This is your art, and like, I, you know, 393 00:19:32,166 --> 00:19:33,583 I just don't feel good in this, 394 00:19:33,666 --> 00:19:34,916 and I kind of feel like a ghost. 395 00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:36,666 - Portia. Lassie Kazaar, the director. 396 00:19:36,750 --> 00:19:38,541 - Oh, my gosh! Hi! 397 00:19:38,625 --> 00:19:40,708 It's so nice to meet you. I'm sorry, I'm a hugger. 398 00:19:40,791 --> 00:19:43,333 - I'm not. So let's have a chat. 399 00:19:43,416 --> 00:19:45,250 Can you excuse us? - Of course. 400 00:19:45,333 --> 00:19:46,416 - Okay. - Bye. 401 00:19:46,500 --> 00:19:48,166 He's--he's, you know, incredible. 402 00:19:48,250 --> 00:19:49,875 I love all my op-- 403 00:19:49,958 --> 00:19:51,375 - Okay. - [clears throat] 404 00:19:51,458 --> 00:19:52,708 - So how are you feeling? 405 00:19:52,791 --> 00:19:54,416 This is kind of a big departure for you. 406 00:19:54,500 --> 00:19:56,041 - Yeah, I feel great, honestly. 407 00:19:56,125 --> 00:19:58,916 Like, I feel inspired and excited, 408 00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:01,375 and I feel like I'm born to play this part in a weird way, 409 00:20:01,458 --> 00:20:03,041 'cause it's, like, who better to play Dory 410 00:20:03,125 --> 00:20:04,833 than her best friend, you know what I mean? 411 00:20:04,916 --> 00:20:06,625 - Okay, well, I just wanted to check in 412 00:20:06,708 --> 00:20:08,958 and see if you have any questions about the character. 413 00:20:09,041 --> 00:20:10,583 - I do, actually. 414 00:20:10,666 --> 00:20:12,375 On the page, she's written, like, 415 00:20:12,458 --> 00:20:14,041 kind of harsh, do you know what I mean? 416 00:20:14,125 --> 00:20:16,500 And I wanna make sure that I add softness to her 417 00:20:16,583 --> 00:20:18,875 because Dor wasn't all bad, you know? 418 00:20:18,958 --> 00:20:21,625 And then I'm also, like-- is it too late to possibly 419 00:20:21,708 --> 00:20:23,541 rewrite the scene where, you know, 420 00:20:23,625 --> 00:20:25,416 she takes that cigarette and she puts it out 421 00:20:25,500 --> 00:20:27,333 on that little baby squirrel? 422 00:20:27,416 --> 00:20:30,541 I just feel like she wouldn't burn an animal. 423 00:20:30,625 --> 00:20:32,166 - I understand it might not have really happened. 424 00:20:32,250 --> 00:20:33,708 - Mm-hmm. - I know, it doesn't matter. 425 00:20:33,791 --> 00:20:35,375 - Okay. - When you're telling a story, 426 00:20:35,458 --> 00:20:37,166 you have to step things out for the audience. 427 00:20:37,250 --> 00:20:39,083 - Right, which is-- that just-- 428 00:20:39,166 --> 00:20:40,500 that's not truth. 429 00:20:40,583 --> 00:20:42,250 That's fake. That didn't happen. 430 00:20:42,333 --> 00:20:45,041 - Did you see my last movie, "Einstein in Miami"? 431 00:20:45,125 --> 00:20:46,833 - I didn't see it. 432 00:20:46,916 --> 00:20:48,291 - Oh. [laughs] 433 00:20:48,375 --> 00:20:50,500 Oh, okay, I thought you-- you're not kidding. 434 00:20:50,583 --> 00:20:52,041 - No. - Okay, that's crazy. 435 00:20:52,125 --> 00:20:53,583 Well... [laughs] 436 00:20:53,666 --> 00:20:57,125 People saw it and loved it. A lot of people. 437 00:20:57,208 --> 00:21:00,958 But what they also loved is seeing Einstein be in Miami. 438 00:21:01,041 --> 00:21:03,333 Guess what. He never stepped foot in Miami. 439 00:21:03,416 --> 00:21:05,583 I mean, I don't even think he knew what Florida was. 440 00:21:05,666 --> 00:21:07,125 - Right. - 'Cause back then, 441 00:21:07,208 --> 00:21:10,041 people couldn't just hop on a plane. 442 00:21:10,125 --> 00:21:13,125 So my point is, here, 443 00:21:13,208 --> 00:21:14,916 that this is gonna be a real fun movie. 444 00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:16,791 - This is gonna be really fun. 445 00:21:16,875 --> 00:21:21,458 But don't you wanna honor us? 446 00:21:21,541 --> 00:21:25,666 Like, we really were real people. 447 00:21:25,750 --> 00:21:27,125 That's the thing. 448 00:21:27,208 --> 00:21:30,041 - [laughs] You're too close to this. 449 00:21:30,125 --> 00:21:31,875 I knew you would be too close, 450 00:21:31,958 --> 00:21:35,000 and I told people that you would be too close. 451 00:21:35,083 --> 00:21:36,666 But no one listens to women. 452 00:21:36,750 --> 00:21:38,833 Fucking stuck with this one. 453 00:21:40,333 --> 00:21:41,750 - [panting] 454 00:21:41,833 --> 00:21:42,958 Hello? 455 00:21:51,250 --> 00:21:52,500 - Babe, you need to figure this out. 456 00:21:52,583 --> 00:21:55,750 - [gasps] I'm trying. 457 00:21:55,833 --> 00:21:57,625 - No, I get it, but you know, you made it this far. 458 00:21:57,708 --> 00:21:59,833 Just need to make it a little bit farther. 459 00:21:59,916 --> 00:22:02,541 - I don't know what else to do. - Where is everyone? 460 00:22:02,625 --> 00:22:05,083 Where is everyone? Dory needs help, okay? 461 00:22:05,166 --> 00:22:06,708 This is the "Dory Needs Help" show, 462 00:22:06,791 --> 00:22:09,541 and the first caller in gets to help Dory. 463 00:22:09,625 --> 00:22:12,166 Hello? [sighs] 464 00:22:12,250 --> 00:22:14,000 - Okay, what we need is survival skills. 465 00:22:14,083 --> 00:22:15,791 What if we just follow the Big Dipper, 466 00:22:15,875 --> 00:22:17,625 and, you know, eventually we'll hit a bodega! 467 00:22:17,708 --> 00:22:18,666 I don't know! 468 00:22:18,750 --> 00:22:20,250 - Oh, no, she's cold as ice. 469 00:22:20,333 --> 00:22:21,583 And this is no joke. 470 00:22:21,666 --> 00:22:23,000 She could freeze to death in the night. 471 00:22:23,083 --> 00:22:25,416 - That feels nice. - Oh, Dor. 472 00:22:25,500 --> 00:22:27,166 You look really pretty. 473 00:22:27,250 --> 00:22:28,666 You look really good, 474 00:22:28,750 --> 00:22:31,125 but you gotta start dressing for the weather, okay? 475 00:22:31,208 --> 00:22:33,083 [ethereal music] 476 00:22:33,166 --> 00:22:34,833 ♪ ♪ 477 00:22:34,916 --> 00:22:37,375 Dory, look. Look! 478 00:22:37,458 --> 00:22:40,833 A light. [laughs softly] 479 00:22:47,541 --> 00:22:49,583 - Oh, yeah. 480 00:22:51,333 --> 00:22:54,250 Hey, hey! 481 00:22:54,333 --> 00:22:59,166 Wait! Wait, wait, stop! 482 00:23:02,041 --> 00:23:03,125 [car door opens] 483 00:23:03,208 --> 00:23:05,708 Thank you. Thank you. 484 00:23:05,791 --> 00:23:07,500 [car door shuts] 485 00:23:07,583 --> 00:23:13,916 ♪ ♪ 486 00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:17,625 - Oh, look. A winter angel! 487 00:23:17,708 --> 00:23:20,875 You know, you real lucky that I came on this road. 488 00:23:20,958 --> 00:23:22,666 I normally don't come here at night. 489 00:23:22,750 --> 00:23:25,666 I get too scared of the way the branches look. 490 00:23:25,750 --> 00:23:28,041 - Can I use your phone? - Phone? 491 00:23:28,125 --> 00:23:29,333 [laughs] God, ah. 492 00:23:29,416 --> 00:23:31,208 Mobile phones rot the baby maker. 493 00:23:31,291 --> 00:23:34,083 I wanna make sure that I can have another child. 494 00:23:34,166 --> 00:23:36,625 You know, a man can have a child at any age. 495 00:23:36,708 --> 00:23:40,625 - Can you drop me off at the police station then? 496 00:23:40,708 --> 00:23:42,125 - I sure can. 497 00:23:42,208 --> 00:23:43,708 I think it's on the way to my daughter's house. 498 00:23:43,791 --> 00:23:47,458 We're having a white elephant. Yeah. 499 00:23:47,541 --> 00:23:50,291 Yeah, and you don't wanna be there without a present. 500 00:23:51,583 --> 00:23:53,958 You know, it's something peculiar, 501 00:23:54,041 --> 00:23:58,291 you look real familiar to me. 502 00:23:58,375 --> 00:24:00,166 - Do I? 503 00:24:00,250 --> 00:24:03,916 - You ever been a contestant on "Deal or No Deal"? 504 00:24:05,166 --> 00:24:06,458 - No. 505 00:24:06,541 --> 00:24:09,666 - I love it. Eat it with a spoon. 506 00:24:09,750 --> 00:24:14,125 But if it's that's not it... 507 00:24:14,208 --> 00:24:15,708 - Sir, sir? 508 00:24:15,791 --> 00:24:17,541 Can you keep your eyes on the road, please? 509 00:24:17,625 --> 00:24:19,375 - I--I knew you were innocent! 510 00:24:19,458 --> 00:24:20,666 I knew you weren't guilty! 511 00:24:20,750 --> 00:24:22,500 I knew it! - Sir! 512 00:24:22,583 --> 00:24:24,875 - I knew it, I told everyone! - Sir, please! 513 00:24:24,958 --> 00:24:26,916 Sir, please! Keep your eyes on the road! 514 00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:28,916 [screams] 515 00:24:31,416 --> 00:24:33,625 [insects chirring] 516 00:24:34,625 --> 00:24:37,208 - [laughs softly] 517 00:24:37,291 --> 00:24:40,333 [faint cheerful music playing] 518 00:24:40,416 --> 00:24:47,541 ♪ ♪ 519 00:24:56,791 --> 00:24:58,625 Is that my sweater? 520 00:24:59,833 --> 00:25:02,791 [dramatic music] 521 00:25:02,875 --> 00:25:05,458 ♪ ♪ 522 00:25:05,541 --> 00:25:08,000 What? 523 00:25:10,708 --> 00:25:11,833 - Here he comes! 524 00:25:11,916 --> 00:25:13,208 [crowd cheering] 525 00:25:13,291 --> 00:25:14,916 - Love you! - Elliott! 526 00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:16,958 - [laughs] 527 00:25:17,041 --> 00:25:19,208 Hi! 528 00:25:19,291 --> 00:25:20,666 [giggles] 529 00:25:20,750 --> 00:25:23,375 My fans, my beautiful fans! 530 00:25:23,458 --> 00:25:25,708 Hi. Hi. Mwah. 531 00:25:25,791 --> 00:25:28,250 - Would you sign... - Oh, sure, of course. 532 00:25:28,333 --> 00:25:29,916 - Hey, big girl. - Yeah? 533 00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:32,541 Oh, my God. Excuse you? 534 00:25:32,625 --> 00:25:34,083 - You little enemy of Dorothy. 535 00:25:34,166 --> 00:25:35,958 We had three cancellations this morning. 536 00:25:36,041 --> 00:25:37,958 - Well, congratulations. To them! 537 00:25:38,041 --> 00:25:39,166 [both scoff] 538 00:25:39,250 --> 00:25:40,375 Okay, can my fans arrest these people? 539 00:25:40,458 --> 00:25:41,500 Thank you. - No, no, no, no. 540 00:25:41,583 --> 00:25:42,833 You need to issue a retraction, 541 00:25:42,916 --> 00:25:44,250 or we're gonna sue you for libel. 542 00:25:44,333 --> 00:25:46,666 Nobody died at your stupid wedding! 543 00:25:46,750 --> 00:25:48,708 - Oh, please, you know very well 544 00:25:48,791 --> 00:25:50,708 that a twink died on your watch, okay? 545 00:25:50,791 --> 00:25:53,000 And that's the only reason my fiancé left me, by the way. 546 00:25:53,083 --> 00:25:54,583 - No, that twink did not die! - It is. 547 00:25:54,666 --> 00:25:57,083 - He is still alive, and he didn't even work for us. 548 00:25:57,166 --> 00:25:59,416 He faked everything. - What? 549 00:25:59,500 --> 00:26:00,916 - You will die an old maid! 550 00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:03,083 - Oh, eat my ass! 551 00:26:03,166 --> 00:26:06,083 [tense music] 552 00:26:06,166 --> 00:26:08,375 ♪ ♪ 553 00:26:08,458 --> 00:26:11,041 [bird squawking] 554 00:26:11,125 --> 00:26:13,750 [car engine ticking] 555 00:26:13,833 --> 00:26:17,000 [wind whistling] 556 00:26:29,250 --> 00:26:32,458 - [ragged breathing] 557 00:26:59,458 --> 00:27:02,750 [grunting] 558 00:27:02,833 --> 00:27:05,250 [horn honking] 559 00:27:06,666 --> 00:27:09,541 [sobbing] 560 00:27:14,250 --> 00:27:16,708 - ♪ The chills that you spill up my back ♪ 561 00:27:16,791 --> 00:27:19,750 ♪ Keep me filled with satisfaction when we're done ♪ 562 00:27:19,833 --> 00:27:22,583 ♪ Satisfaction of what's to come ♪ 563 00:27:22,666 --> 00:27:26,000 ♪ I couldn't ask for another ♪ 564 00:27:26,083 --> 00:27:28,500 ♪ No, I couldn't ask for another ♪ 565 00:27:28,583 --> 00:27:30,541 ♪ You know that's right ♪ 566 00:27:30,625 --> 00:27:34,625 - Well, looks like you need my help. 567 00:27:35,416 --> 00:27:38,041 - ♪ I look for signs ♪ 568 00:27:38,125 --> 00:27:44,000 ♪ Get lost in the noise of the words that don't mean much ♪ 569 00:27:44,083 --> 00:27:46,833 ♪ I'll be defiant ♪ 570 00:27:46,916 --> 00:27:49,000 ♪ The one that could change us ♪ 571 00:27:49,083 --> 00:27:52,875 ♪ I'll give you the same love ♪ 572 00:27:52,958 --> 00:27:54,875 ♪ I darling, darling, don't know ♪ 573 00:27:54,958 --> 00:27:57,041 ♪ How fame, faith, and the fallout ♪ 574 00:27:57,125 --> 00:28:01,333 ♪ Time's up, times are getting loud ♪ 575 00:28:01,416 --> 00:28:03,541 ♪ I darling, darling, don't know ♪ 576 00:28:03,625 --> 00:28:05,708 ♪ How fame, faith, and the fallout ♪ 577 00:28:05,791 --> 00:28:10,375 ♪ Time's up, times are getting loud ♪ 578 00:28:10,458 --> 00:28:12,333 ♪ Every move I make ♪ 579 00:28:12,416 --> 00:28:14,583 ♪ I make with no mistake ♪ 580 00:28:14,666 --> 00:28:17,208 ♪ See, I know my heart ♪ 581 00:28:18,291 --> 00:28:19,750 - [coughs]