1
00:00:04,063 --> 00:00:05,105
Hey, Arthur.
2
00:00:05,140 --> 00:00:07,234
Here's your vendor packet for
the Uptown Winter Festival.
3
00:00:07,269 --> 00:00:09,440
Look, for the last time,
I'm not doing your stupid festival.
4
00:00:09,442 --> 00:00:11,142
Fine. I'll just put the port-a-potties
5
00:00:11,144 --> 00:00:12,677
right in front of your store.
6
00:00:14,040 --> 00:00:15,079
I don't care.
7
00:00:15,081 --> 00:00:16,147
And the petting zoo.
8
00:00:17,383 --> 00:00:18,649
That's fine with me.
9
00:00:18,651 --> 00:00:20,318
And the Uptown Mime Troupe.
10
00:00:20,320 --> 00:00:21,752
No, no! Not that.
11
00:00:21,754 --> 00:00:23,754
All right, I'll do your stupid fair.
12
00:00:23,756 --> 00:00:27,558
I hate those silent freaks.
13
00:00:27,560 --> 00:00:30,728
Now, as president of the
Uptown Business Council,
14
00:00:30,730 --> 00:00:33,648
I just want to help out the
merchants and have a little fun.
15
00:00:33,683 --> 00:00:34,465
FAWZ: Excuse me.
16
00:00:34,467 --> 00:00:37,468
Under my reign as president,
we had all kinds of fun.
17
00:00:37,470 --> 00:00:40,271
Yeah, I don't know what the
neighborhood kids enjoyed more,
18
00:00:40,273 --> 00:00:42,607
when you made them paint
the side of your building,
19
00:00:42,609 --> 00:00:45,676
or when you had them clean your gutters.
20
00:00:45,678 --> 00:00:47,144
I'd say gutters.
21
00:00:47,146 --> 00:00:48,613
Remember, I pulled out the ladder
22
00:00:48,615 --> 00:00:50,781
and they thought they couldn't get down?
(laughs)
23
00:00:50,783 --> 00:00:52,149
(phone chimes)
24
00:00:52,151 --> 00:00:53,184
Oh, no.
25
00:00:53,186 --> 00:00:54,852
The petting zoo guy just backed out.
26
00:00:54,854 --> 00:00:56,287
He got a Renaissance fair.
27
00:00:56,289 --> 00:00:59,924
Hmm, ye olde shaft job.
28
00:00:59,926 --> 00:01:02,460
Well, lucky for you,
I have an uncle that has a farm
29
00:01:02,462 --> 00:01:03,928
out near DeKalb.
30
00:01:03,930 --> 00:01:06,297
I could have him ship
a few animals up here.
31
00:01:06,299 --> 00:01:08,766
The goats are quite gentle,
except for Doug.
32
00:01:08,768 --> 00:01:12,103
He's the reason I have
nine and a half toes.
33
00:01:13,139 --> 00:01:14,438
Here it comes.
34
00:01:14,440 --> 00:01:17,675
Yep. He bit off one and a half toes.
35
00:01:17,677 --> 00:01:19,143
Because he had eleven.
36
00:01:19,145 --> 00:01:22,046
Because I had eleven.
37
00:01:22,891 --> 00:01:24,582
Thanks, Tush. You're a lifesaver.
38
00:01:25,522 --> 00:01:26,717
If you're looking for music,
39
00:01:26,719 --> 00:01:29,687
I know where you can
find a dikka-dikka-DJ.
40
00:01:30,658 --> 00:01:33,224
Tell you what, Sweatpants.
If it gets down to the wire,
41
00:01:33,226 --> 00:01:34,959
and I can't find anybody else,
42
00:01:34,961 --> 00:01:38,162
and I get really,
really desperate, you can do it.
43
00:01:38,164 --> 00:01:42,066
Sweet. Being someone's
last resort is my jam.
44
00:01:43,265 --> 00:01:44,068
ARTHUR: Oh, come on.
45
00:01:44,070 --> 00:01:45,937
Are you kidding?
I-I got a put up a booth?
46
00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:47,338
Chill out. We can rent a tent.
47
00:01:47,340 --> 00:01:50,041
No, no, no, no, no.
I'm not gonna waste money on a tent.
48
00:01:50,043 --> 00:01:51,542
Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute.
49
00:01:51,544 --> 00:01:54,412
I got an old one that we can
use down in the basement.
50
00:01:54,414 --> 00:01:55,713
Run down there, get it.
51
00:01:55,715 --> 00:01:58,349
No, I'm not going to your
scary-ass basement, man.
52
00:01:58,351 --> 00:02:00,084
You got rats and cobwebs
53
00:02:00,086 --> 00:02:02,853
and nude photos from
your honeymoon and...
54
00:02:04,190 --> 00:02:07,158
It just... it looks like you're
holding a porcupine on your lap.
55
00:02:08,194 --> 00:02:11,062
You know, Arthur, between this festival
56
00:02:11,064 --> 00:02:12,496
and that scary basement,
57
00:02:12,498 --> 00:02:15,232
it sounds like you could use a
little bit of help this week,
58
00:02:15,234 --> 00:02:18,002
and my son happens to be in the
market for some temporary work.
59
00:02:18,004 --> 00:02:20,271
Is this the one who got
kicked out of college?
60
00:02:20,273 --> 00:02:21,305
He wasn't kicked out.
61
00:02:21,307 --> 00:02:24,175
He took a semester off to find himself.
62
00:02:24,177 --> 00:02:26,744
Five semesters ago.
63
00:02:26,746 --> 00:02:29,847
You know, Fawz,
maybe he's just not cut out for college.
64
00:02:29,849 --> 00:02:31,849
Bite your tongue, goat herder.
65
00:02:33,080 --> 00:02:34,618
I came to this country
66
00:02:34,620 --> 00:02:36,587
so my children could have better lives.
67
00:02:36,589 --> 00:02:39,023
Abdullah is gonna get an
education and become a banker.
68
00:02:39,025 --> 00:02:41,359
Or maybe he'll go into
real estate with me.
69
00:02:41,361 --> 00:02:45,262
He could be the Eric Trump to my Donald.
70
00:02:45,264 --> 00:02:46,897
Listen, he won't accomplish
71
00:02:46,899 --> 00:02:49,734
any of this unless he learns
the value of hard work.
72
00:02:49,736 --> 00:02:51,769
Why don't you just give him
a job at your dry cleaners?
73
00:02:51,771 --> 00:02:53,304
Oh, no, those chemicals are toxic.
74
00:02:53,306 --> 00:02:56,540
I would never let someone
I love work there.
75
00:02:56,542 --> 00:02:58,476
Didn't you hire your mother-in-law?
76
00:02:58,478 --> 00:03:00,211
Yes, she works a double shift.
77
00:03:01,614 --> 00:03:04,281
I'm sorry, Fawz, I'm not gonna
hire some kid whose father says
78
00:03:04,283 --> 00:03:05,983
he's shiftless, aimless and lazy.
79
00:03:05,985 --> 00:03:07,151
I'll pay his salary.
80
00:03:07,153 --> 00:03:09,453
This will be his apron.
81
00:03:09,455 --> 00:03:10,788
Thank you, Arthur.
82
00:03:10,790 --> 00:03:14,025
Franco, you're gonna be a
good influence on my son.
83
00:03:14,027 --> 00:03:17,194
You're focused, dedicated and
you have an amazing work ethic.
84
00:03:17,196 --> 00:03:19,163
For a black guy?
85
00:03:20,294 --> 00:03:21,432
No.
86
00:03:21,434 --> 00:03:23,634
For any minority.
87
00:03:24,804 --> 00:03:28,339
Seriously, Franco,
you are working and going to college.
88
00:03:28,341 --> 00:03:30,574
You are gonna be a good
role model for him.
89
00:03:30,576 --> 00:03:31,675
All right, well, hey, just know,
90
00:03:31,677 --> 00:03:33,411
college ain't for everybody, okay?
91
00:03:33,413 --> 00:03:36,080
But be pretty cool to take
on a little apprentice.
92
00:03:36,082 --> 00:03:38,749
You know?
Teach him the value of hard work.
93
00:03:38,751 --> 00:03:41,619
Make him go down in that basement.
94
00:03:41,621 --> 00:03:45,056
What? That-that never
crossed my mind. I don't...
95
00:03:46,192 --> 00:03:47,892
All right, Fawz, he can start tomorrow.
96
00:03:47,894 --> 00:03:49,960
Don't make me regret this.
97
00:03:49,962 --> 00:03:52,530
Oh, it's only gonna be a week.
How bad could it be?
98
00:03:52,532 --> 00:03:54,532
That's exactly what I said to my uncle
99
00:03:54,534 --> 00:03:57,535
when he asked me to watch Doug,
and now...
100
00:03:57,537 --> 00:03:59,303
All his left shoes are loose.
101
00:03:59,305 --> 00:04:01,505
...all my left shoes are loose.
102
00:04:02,442 --> 00:04:04,708
♪ ♪
103
00:04:16,933 --> 00:04:19,200
Arthur, allow me to introduce my son,
104
00:04:19,202 --> 00:04:22,403
Abdullah Farooq Al-Shahrani.
105
00:04:22,866 --> 00:04:23,938
I'll just call you Scott.
106
00:04:23,940 --> 00:04:25,553
My friends call me Abe.
107
00:04:25,588 --> 00:04:27,375
Eh, whatever.
108
00:04:27,377 --> 00:04:28,543
- Hey.
- Hi.
109
00:04:28,545 --> 00:04:30,278
Remember what we talked about,
eye contact.
110
00:04:30,280 --> 00:04:32,247
No slouching. And smile.
111
00:04:32,249 --> 00:04:34,282
Too big. Too small.
112
00:04:34,284 --> 00:04:35,750
Just right.
113
00:04:36,987 --> 00:04:39,053
Okay, Dad, you can leave now.
I'm gonna be fine.
114
00:04:39,055 --> 00:04:40,388
Uh, yes, yes, of course.
115
00:04:40,390 --> 00:04:43,591
Um, you're on your own.
Uh, have a great day at work.
116
00:04:50,205 --> 00:04:53,902
Tell me how he's doing.
I don't want to hover.
117
00:04:54,174 --> 00:04:55,606
- What up? I'm Franco, man.
- What's up?
118
00:04:55,608 --> 00:04:57,041
ARTHUR: Yeah, he's gonna show
you the ropes around here.
119
00:04:57,043 --> 00:04:58,943
It's not as easy as it looks.
120
00:04:58,945 --> 00:05:01,779
Someone gives you money,
you give them a donut.
121
00:05:01,781 --> 00:05:05,750
If they don't give you money,
you do not give them a donut.
122
00:05:06,460 --> 00:05:09,053
Well, thank you for reducing my
life's work to two sentences.
123
00:05:09,055 --> 00:05:10,388
You're welcome.
124
00:05:10,390 --> 00:05:11,756
Hey there, Abe.
125
00:05:11,758 --> 00:05:13,424
I'm Tush.
126
00:05:13,426 --> 00:05:16,327
I'm sure Papa Bear
told you all about me.
127
00:05:16,329 --> 00:05:17,862
He's real?
128
00:05:19,032 --> 00:05:22,967
I thought you, like,
made him up as a cautionary tale.
129
00:05:22,969 --> 00:05:25,703
Did you really live in
a van under a bridge?
130
00:05:25,705 --> 00:05:29,240
I did live in a van.
I did live under a bridge.
131
00:05:29,242 --> 00:05:32,009
But not at the same time.
132
00:05:32,521 --> 00:05:34,846
So it's not nearly as sad.
133
00:05:34,848 --> 00:05:36,714
Hi, I'm Randy.
134
00:05:36,716 --> 00:05:39,217
I'm female, so your father's
probably never told you
135
00:05:39,219 --> 00:05:41,360
- anything about me.
- Not true.
136
00:05:41,395 --> 00:05:45,456
He can't stop talking about the
beautiful young food truck lady.
137
00:05:45,458 --> 00:05:47,758
(laughs) Oh!
138
00:05:47,760 --> 00:05:50,194
Well, I-I don't know
about the food truck part,
139
00:05:50,196 --> 00:05:52,163
but, uh, thanks.
140
00:05:53,466 --> 00:05:55,867
Okay, Abe.
Come on, let's get you started.
141
00:05:55,869 --> 00:05:57,034
Mop the kitchen floor.
142
00:05:57,036 --> 00:05:58,102
FAWZ: That's right.
143
00:05:58,631 --> 00:06:00,271
Teach him what hard work is all about.
144
00:06:00,273 --> 00:06:01,672
Ha, ha.
145
00:06:01,674 --> 00:06:05,209
Then it's back to college,
MBA, trophy wife, lake house,
146
00:06:05,211 --> 00:06:09,280
beach house,
massive heart attack, die happy!
147
00:06:09,282 --> 00:06:11,816
Fawz, do you realize
that people can be happy
148
00:06:11,818 --> 00:06:14,152
without making a lot of money?
149
00:06:14,154 --> 00:06:16,888
Uh, no.
150
00:06:16,890 --> 00:06:19,190
In my country, I had nothing,
I was miserable.
151
00:06:19,192 --> 00:06:23,227
I came to this country,
I was successful, and now I'm happy!
152
00:06:23,925 --> 00:06:25,096
That's what I want for my son.
153
00:06:25,098 --> 00:06:26,900
- (loud clattering)
- Hey! What the hell?
154
00:06:26,934 --> 00:06:29,834
Franco, get in there.
It could be a teachable moment.
155
00:06:36,967 --> 00:06:38,643
You knocked down the mixing bowl.
156
00:06:38,645 --> 00:06:40,878
Oh, sorry. I was just into my music.
157
00:06:40,880 --> 00:06:42,480
I see. All right.
158
00:06:42,482 --> 00:06:45,283
Okay, so you-you're just
gonna mop dry? All right.
159
00:06:45,285 --> 00:06:46,584
Okay, uh...
160
00:06:46,586 --> 00:06:48,419
Where's the water and soap?
161
00:06:48,421 --> 00:06:50,121
Is that part of this?
162
00:06:51,324 --> 00:06:52,423
Man, give me that.
163
00:06:52,425 --> 00:06:54,158
Maybe minimize on all the distractions
164
00:06:54,160 --> 00:06:56,227
until you get the hang of it.
165
00:06:56,229 --> 00:06:57,395
What you listening to?
166
00:06:57,397 --> 00:06:59,463
Oh, just, um, a track that I made.
167
00:06:59,465 --> 00:07:01,165
Really? You make beats?
168
00:07:01,167 --> 00:07:03,401
- Yeah.
- Let me see.
169
00:07:05,753 --> 00:07:08,172
Oh!
170
00:07:08,174 --> 00:07:10,374
Oh, damn!
171
00:07:10,376 --> 00:07:11,509
Yo!
172
00:07:11,511 --> 00:07:13,010
(chuckles): This...
173
00:07:13,012 --> 00:07:14,312
This is fire!
174
00:07:15,181 --> 00:07:17,415
Oh. Oh.
175
00:07:17,417 --> 00:07:19,717
I can see how that happened.
176
00:07:19,719 --> 00:07:21,319
Yo, this is pretty good.
177
00:07:21,321 --> 00:07:22,920
You ever think about being a DJ?
178
00:07:22,922 --> 00:07:25,323
It's all I ever think about,
ever since I was a kid.
179
00:07:25,325 --> 00:07:26,857
But that'll never fly with my dad.
180
00:07:26,859 --> 00:07:28,593
He's got his own plan for me.
181
00:07:28,595 --> 00:07:30,194
I heard.
182
00:07:31,079 --> 00:07:33,064
I'm supposed to be in here
trying to get you to go
183
00:07:33,066 --> 00:07:36,067
back to school and have
a heart attack, but...
184
00:07:36,069 --> 00:07:37,969
Which reminds me.
185
00:07:37,971 --> 00:07:40,738
Damn it, Abdullah, go back to college!
186
00:07:44,961 --> 00:07:46,177
Don't go back to college.
187
00:07:47,743 --> 00:07:49,747
You know, listen,
parents don't know everything.
188
00:07:49,749 --> 00:07:52,049
If I listened to my dad,
I wouldn't be an artist.
189
00:07:52,051 --> 00:07:53,517
You're an artist?
190
00:07:53,519 --> 00:07:55,886
Yeah. My dad didn't think
I had what it takes.
191
00:07:55,888 --> 00:07:58,256
Didn't think I would make it.
"You can't make art, Franco.
192
00:07:58,258 --> 00:08:01,525
You can't even make rent."
(imitates laugh)
193
00:08:01,527 --> 00:08:02,827
Look at me now.
194
00:08:03,646 --> 00:08:04,662
Look at me.
195
00:08:04,664 --> 00:08:06,831
Look... not the mop and bucket.
196
00:08:06,833 --> 00:08:09,333
Yo, I'd love to be a DJ.
197
00:08:09,335 --> 00:08:11,269
But where do I start?
198
00:08:11,271 --> 00:08:14,272
You know, one of my friends is
DJing at Public Domain tonight.
199
00:08:14,274 --> 00:08:16,173
We can pop by there, and after a set,
200
00:08:16,175 --> 00:08:17,408
he can give you some advice.
201
00:08:17,410 --> 00:08:18,609
Oh, cool.
202
00:08:18,611 --> 00:08:20,311
You know what? Drinks are on me.
203
00:08:20,313 --> 00:08:21,946
I've got my dad's credit card.
204
00:08:22,884 --> 00:08:24,315
Well, in that case,
205
00:08:24,317 --> 00:08:26,784
maybe we can, uh,
pick up something to eat. (laughs)
206
00:08:27,825 --> 00:08:30,021
Maybe some dessert. (laughs)
207
00:08:30,023 --> 00:08:32,423
Pay off my student loans. (laughs)
208
00:08:32,425 --> 00:08:34,859
I'm just playing, I don't want dessert.
209
00:08:40,094 --> 00:08:42,233
ARTHUR: Well,
look who's five minutes late.
210
00:08:42,235 --> 00:08:44,535
The late guy and the guy
who's supposed to be teaching
211
00:08:44,537 --> 00:08:46,737
the late guy to work.
212
00:08:46,739 --> 00:08:48,372
That... that's my bad.
213
00:08:48,374 --> 00:08:49,540
We were at a club last night,
214
00:08:49,542 --> 00:08:50,908
and we ain't get home till about 4:00.
215
00:08:50,910 --> 00:08:53,778
So you were out drinking
hooch on a work night?
216
00:08:54,881 --> 00:08:59,050
Hooch? Were you celebrating
the end of Prohibition?
217
00:08:59,900 --> 00:09:01,992
You're funny.
You should come with us next time.
218
00:09:02,027 --> 00:09:03,154
Don't forget your I.D.
219
00:09:03,156 --> 00:09:05,623
I won't.
220
00:09:05,625 --> 00:09:07,925
We weren't partying, we were networking.
221
00:09:07,927 --> 00:09:09,560
I introduced Abe to a
producer friend of mine
222
00:09:09,562 --> 00:09:11,329
who thinks he has what
it takes to be a...
223
00:09:11,331 --> 00:09:13,331
(whispers): DJ.
224
00:09:13,333 --> 00:09:15,633
I heard that!
225
00:09:16,560 --> 00:09:18,502
Franco, you're supposed
to be encouraging him
226
00:09:18,504 --> 00:09:20,204
to go back to college.
227
00:09:20,206 --> 00:09:23,174
Dad, I'm not going to college.
228
00:09:23,176 --> 00:09:24,408
What?
229
00:09:24,410 --> 00:09:27,044
I'm putting everything
I got into being a DJ.
230
00:09:27,046 --> 00:09:28,713
Yeah, look, your son's not lazy.
231
00:09:28,715 --> 00:09:31,582
You just haven't allowed him
to do the thing he wants to do.
232
00:09:31,584 --> 00:09:33,017
Damn it, Abdullah.
233
00:09:33,019 --> 00:09:35,653
I did not come to this country
clinging to the landing gear
234
00:09:35,655 --> 00:09:39,757
of a 747 so you could play
records for drunk people!
235
00:09:39,759 --> 00:09:41,192
That's how you got here?
236
00:09:41,194 --> 00:09:44,729
No. But it was a middle seat.
237
00:09:45,928 --> 00:09:46,867
Abdullah, listen to me.
238
00:09:46,902 --> 00:09:48,332
If you are serious about
not going to college...
239
00:09:48,334 --> 00:09:49,467
I am.
240
00:09:49,469 --> 00:09:50,968
Well, then, you're cut off.
241
00:09:50,970 --> 00:09:53,637
No allowance, no BMW, no place to live.
242
00:09:53,639 --> 00:09:55,639
And you're fired from this job.
243
00:09:55,641 --> 00:09:57,308
You can't fire him. He works for me.
244
00:09:57,310 --> 00:09:58,876
Well, I'm no longer paying his salary.
245
00:09:58,878 --> 00:10:00,211
Abe, you're fired.
246
00:10:01,914 --> 00:10:04,448
What? You were paying my salary?
247
00:10:05,918 --> 00:10:07,518
So you think I'm useless?
248
00:10:07,520 --> 00:10:09,620
Not useless. More like shiftless.
249
00:10:09,622 --> 00:10:10,755
Eh... dude.
250
00:10:10,757 --> 00:10:12,723
Your son wants to be a DJ.
251
00:10:12,725 --> 00:10:14,759
He's got the talent,
and he's got the drive.
252
00:10:14,761 --> 00:10:17,294
And I could stay with Franco
until I get back on my feet.
253
00:10:17,296 --> 00:10:19,964
Yeah. What-what? What was that?
254
00:10:19,966 --> 00:10:22,166
Come on, man, just for a couple days.
255
00:10:22,168 --> 00:10:24,201
You're the one who inspired me.
256
00:10:24,203 --> 00:10:26,270
I guess I did.
257
00:10:26,272 --> 00:10:29,039
All right. Stay as long as you like.
258
00:10:29,041 --> 00:10:32,042
Thanks, man.
I'll go home and get my stuff.
259
00:10:33,146 --> 00:10:37,081
You are gonna regret meddling
in my family business.
260
00:10:37,083 --> 00:10:39,683
And to think, I learned your name.
261
00:10:41,572 --> 00:10:44,522
Well, you couldn't call me
"the black guy" forever.
262
00:10:44,524 --> 00:10:45,556
Oh, yeah?
263
00:10:45,558 --> 00:10:47,525
Tell that to the brown guy, the gay guy,
264
00:10:47,527 --> 00:10:50,761
and the "could be Asian,
could be Puerto Rican guy."
265
00:11:01,172 --> 00:11:03,072
Okay, uh-uh, Franco.
266
00:11:03,074 --> 00:11:05,074
Since you screwed this
thing up with the kid,
267
00:11:05,076 --> 00:11:07,610
I got a list of stuff
that you get to do today.
268
00:11:07,612 --> 00:11:10,279
All right. Well, even though
it's more work for me,
269
00:11:10,281 --> 00:11:11,847
I'm happy supporting a fellow artist.
270
00:11:11,849 --> 00:11:14,950
All right, "Number one:
Get the tent from basement."
271
00:11:14,952 --> 00:11:18,287
Come on, man! Do I have to?
272
00:11:18,289 --> 00:11:19,488
Read number two.
273
00:11:19,490 --> 00:11:21,590
- "Yes, you big-ass baby." Come on, man.
- (laughs)
274
00:11:23,197 --> 00:11:25,761
This winter festival is a nightmare.
275
00:11:25,763 --> 00:11:28,063
The hot chocolate truck
ran out of marshmallows,
276
00:11:28,065 --> 00:11:31,267
and the Jell-O shot girl went to rehab.
277
00:11:33,070 --> 00:11:35,404
But at least the petting
zoo is still good, right?
278
00:11:35,406 --> 00:11:36,672
Oh, yeah.
279
00:11:36,674 --> 00:11:40,743
(laughs): I have a hilarious chicken
280
00:11:40,745 --> 00:11:43,979
and a duck with so much personality.
281
00:11:45,182 --> 00:11:47,950
But I had a little snag with the goat.
282
00:11:47,952 --> 00:11:49,118
What?
283
00:11:49,120 --> 00:11:52,821
Well, the only one
that was available was Doug.
284
00:11:52,823 --> 00:11:55,524
The toe-biter.
285
00:11:55,526 --> 00:11:57,927
So I told my uncle not to bring him.
286
00:11:57,929 --> 00:12:00,629
Tush, the festival's tomorrow,
287
00:12:00,631 --> 00:12:03,999
and if you don't cough
up a four-legged friend,
288
00:12:04,001 --> 00:12:06,802
that toe-eating goat will be
the least of your worries!
289
00:12:06,804 --> 00:12:09,171
Yes, ma'am.
I'm g-gonna make a few phone calls.
290
00:12:09,173 --> 00:12:10,806
Okay.
291
00:12:10,808 --> 00:12:12,408
You know, I think I have a solution
292
00:12:12,410 --> 00:12:13,575
to your little entertainment issue.
293
00:12:13,577 --> 00:12:16,312
You know, Fawz's son is an amazing DJ.
294
00:12:16,314 --> 00:12:18,547
Excuse me. She already has a DJ.
295
00:12:19,268 --> 00:12:20,449
She said I could do it.
296
00:12:20,451 --> 00:12:23,052
Oh, I said you could do
it if I was desperate.
297
00:12:23,054 --> 00:12:26,121
You seem pretty desperate to me.
298
00:12:26,123 --> 00:12:30,426
And trust me, I know
what a desperate woman looks like.
299
00:12:30,428 --> 00:12:31,961
Sweatpants, you already have a damn job.
300
00:12:31,963 --> 00:12:34,663
And Abe is an actual DJ
with actual equipment,
301
00:12:34,665 --> 00:12:35,965
who makes actual music
302
00:12:35,967 --> 00:12:38,000
and doesn't just make
noises with his mouth.
303
00:12:38,002 --> 00:12:39,935
So you can make art with your hands,
304
00:12:39,937 --> 00:12:41,870
but I can't make music with my mouth?
305
00:12:41,872 --> 00:12:43,872
That's body shaming.
306
00:12:44,426 --> 00:12:47,242
Sofia, look,
Abe could really use this gig.
307
00:12:47,244 --> 00:12:49,945
It could prove to his dad
that music is real for him.
308
00:12:49,947 --> 00:12:51,947
(sighs) Fine, he can do it.
309
00:12:52,800 --> 00:12:54,483
But if he's no good,
I'm throwing a fleece on him
310
00:12:54,485 --> 00:12:55,985
and putting him in the petting zoo.
311
00:12:55,987 --> 00:12:58,354
Okay, hey, cool, cool with me.
312
00:12:58,356 --> 00:13:00,102
I'm gonna tell Abe to hurry
up and put a set together.
313
00:13:00,191 --> 00:13:02,858
- He's gonna be so pumped.
- W-Wait a minute.
314
00:13:02,860 --> 00:13:04,927
Why are you pushing this Abe, huh?
315
00:13:04,929 --> 00:13:07,296
You know Fawz doesn't
want him to be a DJ.
316
00:13:07,298 --> 00:13:08,764
That's why I'm pushing him.
317
00:13:08,766 --> 00:13:11,133
I know what it's like to have
somebody crush your dreams.
318
00:13:11,135 --> 00:13:13,035
Yeah? Me, too.
319
00:13:14,060 --> 00:13:15,037
By the way,
320
00:13:15,039 --> 00:13:17,539
I have a air horn that Abe can't use.
321
00:13:17,541 --> 00:13:19,441
(imitates air horn)
322
00:13:21,589 --> 00:13:23,412
Now I know why you're doing this.
323
00:13:23,414 --> 00:13:25,180
Fawz doesn't believe in Abe,
324
00:13:25,182 --> 00:13:27,216
just like your father
didn't believe in you.
325
00:13:27,218 --> 00:13:29,118
Okay, maybe.
326
00:13:30,196 --> 00:13:31,854
- What's so wrong with that?
- No, nothing.
327
00:13:31,856 --> 00:13:34,456
It's nice that you want
to encourage a young you.
328
00:13:34,458 --> 00:13:36,358
But what if he's not a you?
329
00:13:36,360 --> 00:13:37,993
What you talking about?
330
00:13:37,995 --> 00:13:39,495
You worked hard for
everything you've got,
331
00:13:39,497 --> 00:13:41,330
and I'm pretty sure that Abe has not.
332
00:13:41,332 --> 00:13:42,498
I-I just want to make sure
333
00:13:42,500 --> 00:13:44,099
that you're not backing the wrong horse.
334
00:13:44,101 --> 00:13:46,230
I say this as a guy
that lost a lot of money
335
00:13:46,304 --> 00:13:48,170
backing the wrong horse.
336
00:13:48,172 --> 00:13:50,506
Look, relax. Okay?
337
00:13:50,508 --> 00:13:53,008
I think people are gonna
be surprised by Abe.
338
00:13:54,939 --> 00:13:58,981
Okay, I know an anaconda is not furry,
339
00:13:59,795 --> 00:14:01,450
but do you think Sofia'd be okay
340
00:14:01,452 --> 00:14:04,887
if it has a raccoon and
three squirrels inside of it?
341
00:14:08,526 --> 00:14:10,893
(The Price is Right theme
music playing on TV)
342
00:14:10,895 --> 00:14:13,662
Yo. Yo.
343
00:14:13,664 --> 00:14:15,431
Uh, what's up?
344
00:14:15,433 --> 00:14:16,932
Just watching Price is Right, baby.
345
00:14:16,934 --> 00:14:17,670
This lady,
346
00:14:17,769 --> 00:14:21,537
she just won a lifetime
supply of Swiffer WetJets.
347
00:14:21,539 --> 00:14:24,139
Well, you know that, uh,
the festival's tomorrow?
348
00:14:24,141 --> 00:14:26,175
I told Sofia you'll
be bringing some heat.
349
00:14:26,177 --> 00:14:27,476
So, uh, let's see what you got.
350
00:14:27,478 --> 00:14:28,811
Now?
351
00:14:29,636 --> 00:14:31,580
- Okay, all right.
- (TV turns off)
352
00:14:31,582 --> 00:14:35,117
Well, um, I was working on this.
Check it out.
353
00:14:35,119 --> 00:14:37,553
(dance music playing)
354
00:14:39,547 --> 00:14:41,490
That's the same song you
played me in the shop.
355
00:14:42,681 --> 00:14:44,860
Oh. Right. Yeah, you heard that one.
356
00:14:44,862 --> 00:14:46,762
- Yeah.
- Cool.
357
00:14:46,764 --> 00:14:50,833
Well, um... Well, here's something
fresh out the lab.
358
00:14:50,835 --> 00:14:52,868
I haven't really recorded it yet,
you know,
359
00:14:52,870 --> 00:14:55,037
but it-it goes, it goes something like,
it goes, like...
360
00:14:55,039 --> 00:14:57,673
(vocalizing The Price
is Right theme music)
361
00:14:57,675 --> 00:14:59,408
(clears throat)
362
00:14:59,410 --> 00:15:00,976
(singing along)
363
00:15:00,978 --> 00:15:04,146
That's The Price Is Right theme song.
364
00:15:04,148 --> 00:15:07,149
So you've been here all day,
and this is all you got?
365
00:15:07,151 --> 00:15:10,452
Inspiration is a fickle mistress, right?
366
00:15:10,454 --> 00:15:11,720
You only got one song, man.
367
00:15:11,722 --> 00:15:14,256
I thought you wanted to be
a DJ since you were a kid.
368
00:15:14,258 --> 00:15:16,458
It's just,
it's really hard with my dad, okay?
369
00:15:16,460 --> 00:15:19,128
Do you know what it's like to
live with someone that negative?
370
00:15:19,130 --> 00:15:20,896
Yes! Yeah, I do!
371
00:15:20,898 --> 00:15:24,333
My pops wouldn't buy me art supplies,
so I had to improvise.
372
00:15:24,335 --> 00:15:26,535
I had to paint on walls and trains,
373
00:15:26,537 --> 00:15:29,838
a really pale homeless dude
I thought was a statue.
374
00:15:31,231 --> 00:15:32,407
You want to know why?
375
00:15:32,409 --> 00:15:35,410
Because I had to paint.
I had ideas pouring out of me.
376
00:15:35,412 --> 00:15:36,712
And you should, too.
377
00:15:36,714 --> 00:15:38,113
You need to chill, bro.
378
00:15:38,115 --> 00:15:42,484
All this yelling isn't
helping my creative process.
379
00:15:42,486 --> 00:15:44,486
I vouched for you.
380
00:15:44,488 --> 00:15:46,622
And now you want to make me look bad?
381
00:15:46,624 --> 00:15:48,223
Huh?
382
00:15:48,225 --> 00:15:49,691
Come on. You know...
383
00:15:49,693 --> 00:15:51,627
You know, why don't you just...
384
00:15:51,629 --> 00:15:54,296
sit your lazy ass down
on your own damn couch
385
00:15:54,298 --> 00:15:57,065
and watch game shows
in your own damn house.
386
00:15:57,067 --> 00:15:58,834
Fine, I will.
387
00:15:58,836 --> 00:16:01,770
At least there my mom
makes me pizza rolls.
388
00:16:02,940 --> 00:16:05,307
- Your fridge is empty as hell.
- Get out!
389
00:16:18,866 --> 00:16:21,701
Arthur, what's up with your booth?
390
00:16:21,703 --> 00:16:23,736
It's just a lame-ass card table.
391
00:16:23,738 --> 00:16:25,638
What? I told you to get the tent.
392
00:16:25,640 --> 00:16:27,306
No, man. I saw Get Out.
393
00:16:27,308 --> 00:16:30,209
I'm not going in no
white dude's basement.
394
00:16:30,211 --> 00:16:31,844
Oh, come on, it's not that scary.
395
00:16:31,846 --> 00:16:33,679
Here, you're gonna need this.
396
00:16:33,681 --> 00:16:34,980
Well, is the lights out?
397
00:16:34,982 --> 00:16:37,583
No, it's for protection.
Here, take this.
398
00:16:37,585 --> 00:16:39,185
You make a cross.
399
00:16:41,547 --> 00:16:44,290
Oh, Tush,
I just checked out the petting zoo.
400
00:16:44,292 --> 00:16:48,794
It's a chicken, a duck,
and a pigeon who's trying to blend in.
401
00:16:48,796 --> 00:16:49,995
I know. I'm sorry.
402
00:16:49,997 --> 00:16:52,398
I just unloaded Doug
out of my uncle's truck.
403
00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:54,266
But then he locked eyes with me,
404
00:16:54,268 --> 00:16:55,868
and then he started moving his lips
405
00:16:55,870 --> 00:16:57,136
like he was mumbling something.
406
00:16:58,266 --> 00:16:59,372
And I panicked.
407
00:16:59,374 --> 00:17:01,507
So I stashed him in a safe place.
408
00:17:01,509 --> 00:17:04,043
- Where?
- Arthur's basement.
409
00:17:04,570 --> 00:17:05,678
What?!
410
00:17:05,680 --> 00:17:07,413
You put a goat in my basement?
411
00:17:07,415 --> 00:17:09,515
Oh-oh-oh, somebody better warn...
412
00:17:09,517 --> 00:17:11,016
(Franco screams)
413
00:17:11,018 --> 00:17:12,518
...Franco.
414
00:17:13,376 --> 00:17:14,833
Arthur,
you weren't joking about the rat.
415
00:17:14,868 --> 00:17:16,055
I saw it. I saw the king rat.
416
00:17:16,057 --> 00:17:18,424
- It was big, it was white, it had horns.
- It's not a rat.
417
00:17:18,426 --> 00:17:20,493
Yeah, it was like the rat
and the devil had a baby.
418
00:17:20,495 --> 00:17:21,861
Oh! Oh! Somebody call a pastor!
419
00:17:21,863 --> 00:17:22,795
Calm down, calm down.
420
00:17:22,797 --> 00:17:24,230
Oh, no. And it ate your flashlight.
421
00:17:24,232 --> 00:17:26,399
We got to go!
Everybody, get your things!
422
00:17:26,401 --> 00:17:28,300
It's not a rat! It's a goat!
423
00:17:28,302 --> 00:17:32,304
Oh, thank God.
424
00:17:32,306 --> 00:17:34,807
Why is there a goat in the basement?
425
00:17:34,809 --> 00:17:37,877
Uh, it's Tush's. That's Doug.
426
00:17:37,879 --> 00:17:39,111
He's scary, right?
427
00:17:39,113 --> 00:17:41,013
Yeah, when I thought he was a rat.
428
00:17:41,015 --> 00:17:44,183
Now that he's a goat, he's kind of cute.
429
00:17:44,185 --> 00:17:47,420
Cute! That's exactly what
that petting zoo needs.
430
00:17:47,422 --> 00:17:48,754
Come on, Tush.
431
00:17:48,756 --> 00:17:50,890
I really need that goat.
432
00:17:50,892 --> 00:17:53,492
Tush, you can do this.
433
00:17:53,494 --> 00:17:54,593
Face your fears.
434
00:17:54,595 --> 00:17:57,129
Grab 'em by the horns!
435
00:17:57,131 --> 00:17:59,031
- I can do this.
- Yeah.
436
00:17:59,033 --> 00:18:01,233
I ain't afraid of no goats.
437
00:18:03,070 --> 00:18:05,004
Morning, Franco.
438
00:18:05,006 --> 00:18:08,340
How are you and Abe,
who is dead to me, doing?
439
00:18:08,342 --> 00:18:11,610
We had a big fight last night
and I kicked his ass out.
440
00:18:11,612 --> 00:18:14,280
What? He's missing?
441
00:18:14,282 --> 00:18:15,581
Someone call 911!
442
00:18:15,583 --> 00:18:17,349
Calm down. He'll be fine.
443
00:18:17,351 --> 00:18:19,685
He's resourceful, he's smart.
444
00:18:19,687 --> 00:18:23,789
And I'm not just saying that
because he thinks I'm young.
445
00:18:23,791 --> 00:18:25,925
And hot.
446
00:18:25,927 --> 00:18:28,027
Okay, I threw in the "hot."
447
00:18:28,029 --> 00:18:31,497
Fine. I'm gonna go call the FBI.
448
00:18:31,499 --> 00:18:33,899
So now I don't have a DJ?
449
00:18:33,901 --> 00:18:36,068
(imitates air horn)
450
00:18:37,213 --> 00:18:39,972
Seriously! I don't have a DJ?
451
00:18:41,375 --> 00:18:44,543
Don't fight it, Sofia.
I'm all you got left.
452
00:18:44,545 --> 00:18:47,012
Embrace the Sweaty P.
453
00:18:48,036 --> 00:18:50,516
Oh, that better be his DJ name.
454
00:18:51,919 --> 00:18:53,953
So I guess it didn't work out with Abe?
455
00:18:53,955 --> 00:18:57,022
Yeah. I mean, maybe you were right.
He's just lazy.
456
00:18:57,024 --> 00:18:58,991
Well, the FBI wasn't much help.
457
00:18:58,993 --> 00:19:00,226
When they heard my name,
458
00:19:00,228 --> 00:19:02,328
they transferred me
to Homeland Security.
459
00:19:02,330 --> 00:19:04,263
Now I need a new phone.
460
00:19:06,803 --> 00:19:09,702
- Abe, there you are. Are you okay?
- I'm great.
461
00:19:09,704 --> 00:19:12,505
- A little tired, but I was up all night.
- What happened?
462
00:19:12,507 --> 00:19:14,540
Well, after Franco kicked me out,
I was just walking around.
463
00:19:14,542 --> 00:19:15,875
Then I started thinking
about the festival
464
00:19:15,877 --> 00:19:17,343
and the kind of set I would've done.
465
00:19:17,345 --> 00:19:20,212
Then I got this idea,
and it all started flowing.
466
00:19:20,214 --> 00:19:22,248
And now I have a 90-minute set.
467
00:19:22,250 --> 00:19:23,282
You actually made music?
468
00:19:23,284 --> 00:19:24,850
And not just The Price is Right theme?
469
00:19:24,852 --> 00:19:28,590
Fine, an 80-minute set. Thanks, man.
470
00:19:28,625 --> 00:19:30,723
You really gave me the kick
in the ass that I needed.
471
00:19:30,725 --> 00:19:33,325
- I feel so awesome right now!
- Well, congratulations,
472
00:19:33,327 --> 00:19:34,894
but, look, you might want to
get out there before, uh...
473
00:19:34,896 --> 00:19:37,696
Yo, who's ready
for an earful of Sweaty P?!
474
00:19:37,698 --> 00:19:40,799
Go! Go! Go!
475
00:19:40,801 --> 00:19:43,602
(laughs) Well,
you really lit a fire under him, huh?
476
00:19:43,604 --> 00:19:45,070
Good going, kid.
477
00:19:45,072 --> 00:19:47,039
Why are you so excited?
This is terrible.
478
00:19:47,041 --> 00:19:49,859
Now he's really gonna be a DJ
and never go back to college.
479
00:19:49,911 --> 00:19:52,878
Fawz, you have to let
your son find his own way.
480
00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:54,513
That's not how we do things.
481
00:19:54,515 --> 00:19:55,915
Oh, really?
482
00:19:55,917 --> 00:19:59,051
I remember hearing about
a young man from Iraq
483
00:19:59,053 --> 00:20:01,320
who defied his father to come to America
484
00:20:01,322 --> 00:20:05,591
so that he could own his own
dry cleaners and travel agency.
485
00:20:05,593 --> 00:20:08,327
And one-eighth of a Quiznos.
486
00:20:10,197 --> 00:20:11,697
It's me, right?
487
00:20:11,699 --> 00:20:13,933
All that's what you wanted.
488
00:20:13,935 --> 00:20:14,867
Look at him.
489
00:20:14,869 --> 00:20:16,769
Now he's found what he wants,
490
00:20:16,771 --> 00:20:18,737
and he's having the time of his life.
491
00:20:19,782 --> 00:20:23,042
That is the happiest I've seen
Abdullah in a long, long time.
492
00:20:23,619 --> 00:20:26,178
I just don't want him to be
poor the rest of his life.
493
00:20:26,180 --> 00:20:29,748
You know,
DJs in Vegas make $1 million a night.
494
00:20:29,750 --> 00:20:31,750
Did you say $1 million?
495
00:20:31,752 --> 00:20:33,185
ABE: How you feeling, party people?
496
00:20:33,187 --> 00:20:35,854
- Put your hands up in the air!
- (dance music playing)
497
00:20:35,856 --> 00:20:37,323
What's wrong with you, party people?
498
00:20:37,325 --> 00:20:39,525
My son said put your
hands up in the air!
499
00:20:39,527 --> 00:20:41,727
Put your hands up in the air!
500
00:20:42,096 --> 00:20:45,664
You, too, beanie! Up, up, up!
501
00:20:46,767 --> 00:20:48,467
You did good, kid.
502
00:20:53,941 --> 00:20:57,142
Okay, Doug, just like we talked about.
503
00:20:57,144 --> 00:20:59,545
Oh, no, he's looking at my toes.
504
00:20:59,547 --> 00:21:02,615
He's looking at my toes.
505
00:21:02,617 --> 00:21:05,684
Uh... that's not
what I saw in the basement.
506
00:21:29,285 --> 00:21:31,285
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
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