1
00:00:04,678 --> 00:00:06,188
So, what are you working on?
2
00:00:06,190 --> 00:00:10,058
Since I'm the newest detective
they stuck me with the cold cases.
3
00:00:10,060 --> 00:00:13,095
This couple was dismembered
while they slept.
4
00:00:13,097 --> 00:00:16,965
Ugh. Till death did they part.
5
00:00:16,967 --> 00:00:18,934
Yeah, I'm trying
to figure out who did it.
6
00:00:18,936 --> 00:00:21,904
Hello. What do we have here?
7
00:00:21,906 --> 00:00:23,972
- A clue?
- The lamp.
8
00:00:23,974 --> 00:00:26,975
This would look so
good in my living room.
9
00:00:28,482 --> 00:00:30,746
Randy, now that you're a detective,
10
00:00:30,748 --> 00:00:34,149
can I be your streetwise sidekick
that busts heads and takes names?
11
00:00:34,151 --> 00:00:37,185
Because I don't play by the rules, lady.
12
00:00:37,187 --> 00:00:39,655
Yeah, I work alone.
13
00:00:39,657 --> 00:00:41,823
That's how all buddy cop movies start.
14
00:00:41,825 --> 00:00:43,926
I can't wait for the part
where you have to handcuff me
15
00:00:43,928 --> 00:00:45,560
to the steering wheel.
16
00:00:47,131 --> 00:00:49,031
ARTHUR: Hey, guys!
Where'd you go to lunch?
17
00:00:49,033 --> 00:00:51,166
Shaw's. And look,
I brought you something.
18
00:00:51,168 --> 00:00:52,134
Oh, no, you didn't.
19
00:00:52,136 --> 00:00:54,336
Oh, my favorite.
20
00:00:54,338 --> 00:00:57,272
Free Sweet'N Low.
21
00:00:57,274 --> 00:00:59,641
Thanks, Franco. Or should I say Tavi?
22
00:00:59,643 --> 00:01:00,799
It was my idea.
23
00:01:00,811 --> 00:01:03,779
Yeah, you can't afford
Shaw's on what you make here.
24
00:01:03,781 --> 00:01:05,547
I pay for some stuff, too.
25
00:01:05,549 --> 00:01:08,016
I left a pretty generous tip
for the bathroom attendant.
26
00:01:08,018 --> 00:01:09,318
They don't have bathroom attendants.
27
00:01:09,320 --> 00:01:13,155
Oh. Then I paid some dude
five bucks to watch me pee.
28
00:01:13,484 --> 00:01:16,158
That is the going rate.
29
00:01:17,865 --> 00:01:19,428
So, Arthur, you're a Cubs fan, right?
30
00:01:19,430 --> 00:01:22,297
Am I a Cubs fan? Am I a Cubs fan?
31
00:01:22,299 --> 00:01:24,066
Let me show you my Cubs tattoo.
32
00:01:24,068 --> 00:01:26,301
- No, no, no, no, no.
- No, no, that's good. That's okay.
33
00:01:26,303 --> 00:01:28,236
My dad has a box at Wrigley,
34
00:01:28,238 --> 00:01:29,871
but he's gonna be in
London for a week in May.
35
00:01:29,873 --> 00:01:30,839
Do you want it?
36
00:01:30,841 --> 00:01:33,442
Do I want a box at Wri... Oh, thank you.
37
00:01:33,444 --> 00:01:34,776
She's a keeper.
38
00:01:35,695 --> 00:01:36,712
Hey, listen, uh,
39
00:01:36,714 --> 00:01:37,879
the next time you go to Shaw's,
40
00:01:37,881 --> 00:01:39,648
we're running low on toilet paper.
41
00:01:39,650 --> 00:01:41,016
Okay.
42
00:01:42,486 --> 00:01:45,287
Uh-oh, Sofia's here.
43
00:01:45,289 --> 00:01:48,290
Why are you talking like that?
44
00:01:48,292 --> 00:01:50,058
Well, because, you know,
45
00:01:50,060 --> 00:01:53,528
you and Sofia, and now you and Tavi...
46
00:01:53,530 --> 00:01:54,730
Had sex?
47
00:01:54,732 --> 00:01:55,731
I was gonna say "wacka wacka,"
48
00:01:55,733 --> 00:01:57,099
but that works, too.
49
00:01:57,842 --> 00:01:59,501
What are you guys talking about?
50
00:01:59,503 --> 00:02:01,313
Arthur thinks it's awkward
'cause you and I used to hook up,
51
00:02:01,372 --> 00:02:02,471
and now I'm dating Tavi.
52
00:02:02,473 --> 00:02:04,139
Oh. Why would that be awkward?
53
00:02:04,141 --> 00:02:05,974
I don't get your generation.
54
00:02:05,976 --> 00:02:07,743
When I met one of Joanie's ole beaus,
55
00:02:07,745 --> 00:02:08,810
I'd tell him to scram
56
00:02:08,812 --> 00:02:10,379
before I gave him a knuckle sandwich.
57
00:02:10,381 --> 00:02:11,780
(chuckling)
58
00:02:11,782 --> 00:02:14,249
I feel like I got older just
listening to that sentence.
59
00:02:14,251 --> 00:02:16,952
So, times have changed, thank God.
60
00:02:16,954 --> 00:02:18,887
- Here you go.
- SOFIA: Yeah, it's so not a big deal.
61
00:02:18,889 --> 00:02:20,555
We didn't even have a relationship.
62
00:02:20,557 --> 00:02:22,491
And Franco was totally
honest and up-front about it,
63
00:02:22,493 --> 00:02:23,925
which I really appreciate.
64
00:02:23,927 --> 00:02:27,763
I enjoy comparing notes with my lovers.
65
00:02:29,033 --> 00:02:31,366
Each new partner is like a blank canvas,
66
00:02:31,368 --> 00:02:34,403
and I want to know exactly
how they want to be painted.
67
00:02:40,477 --> 00:02:42,444
Well, I'm gonna go.
68
00:02:42,955 --> 00:02:45,147
Uh, don't forget we have
that Jay-Z concert tonight.
69
00:02:45,149 --> 00:02:46,882
Oh, right, right, right. Bye, baby.
70
00:02:46,884 --> 00:02:49,251
Well, look at you,
Mr. Fancy, seeing Jay-Z
71
00:02:49,253 --> 00:02:50,619
Ain't that fancy.
72
00:02:50,621 --> 00:02:52,590
I didn't even know he was in town.
73
00:02:52,625 --> 00:02:54,923
Well, he's not.
He's actually in Philadelphia.
74
00:02:54,925 --> 00:02:56,958
We're taking her dad's
private jet to get there.
75
00:02:56,960 --> 00:02:59,194
Sometimes he lets me steer.
76
00:03:00,330 --> 00:03:02,864
Yeah, well, it must be nice
having a rich girlfriend.
77
00:03:02,866 --> 00:03:04,399
She's buying you stuff.
78
00:03:04,401 --> 00:03:06,268
Maybe she can get you a decent haircut.
79
00:03:06,270 --> 00:03:07,969
(chuckles)
80
00:03:07,971 --> 00:03:09,704
Actually, Tavi likes my hair.
81
00:03:09,706 --> 00:03:10,806
And who the hell are you?
82
00:03:10,808 --> 00:03:12,507
Oh, I think you know.
83
00:03:12,509 --> 00:03:13,542
(chuckles)
84
00:03:13,544 --> 00:03:15,577
It's me, Fawz!
85
00:03:15,579 --> 00:03:17,746
From the donut shop!
86
00:03:18,715 --> 00:03:22,784
Oh, what the hell?
Is it Iraqi Halloween?
87
00:03:24,021 --> 00:03:25,754
It looks great,
but you're still not getting
88
00:03:25,756 --> 00:03:28,123
through airport security.
89
00:03:28,125 --> 00:03:29,858
No. It has come to my attention
90
00:03:29,860 --> 00:03:31,760
that one of the workers
at my sandwich shop
91
00:03:31,762 --> 00:03:32,994
has been stealing.
92
00:03:32,996 --> 00:03:34,362
So I'm going to pose as a worker
93
00:03:34,364 --> 00:03:36,698
to find the culprit and
have them eliminated.
94
00:03:36,700 --> 00:03:37,699
You mean fired.
95
00:03:37,701 --> 00:03:40,168
Sure, let's go with that.
96
00:03:40,170 --> 00:03:42,938
I cannot have a thief
working at Rub-A-Dub Sub.
97
00:03:42,940 --> 00:03:45,507
By the way,
that's a terrible name for a sub shop.
98
00:03:45,509 --> 00:03:46,808
What? It's named
after the original owner,
99
00:03:46,810 --> 00:03:49,044
Raheem Rubadub.
100
00:03:50,614 --> 00:03:52,714
So, how much money have they taken?
101
00:03:52,716 --> 00:03:54,316
So far, it's just cheese.
102
00:03:54,318 --> 00:03:55,650
But it's still stealing.
103
00:03:55,652 --> 00:03:58,720
And if we don't have trust and honesty,
we have nothing.
104
00:03:58,722 --> 00:04:02,390
Okay, I'm off to go trick
those stupid bastards.
105
00:04:04,027 --> 00:04:06,928
This is gonna be fun.
106
00:04:06,930 --> 00:04:10,031
It's fun firing someone
who's making minimum wage?
107
00:04:10,033 --> 00:04:12,767
Oh, Randy, you get me.
108
00:04:16,974 --> 00:04:18,073
So...
109
00:04:18,075 --> 00:04:21,109
private jet to Philadelphia...
can I date her?
110
00:04:21,111 --> 00:04:24,279
Heh, heh.
Well, it does sound nice, right?
111
00:04:24,281 --> 00:04:26,481
It's weird that Tavi does
all this fancy stuff for me,
112
00:04:26,483 --> 00:04:28,884
but I kinda feel bad that I
can't do anything for her.
113
00:04:28,886 --> 00:04:30,552
Well, did you tell her it bugs you?
114
00:04:30,554 --> 00:04:32,053
Yeah, I tried,
but then she gave me this shirt,
115
00:04:32,055 --> 00:04:35,023
- and it's so comfortable.
- (Sofia laughs)
116
00:04:35,025 --> 00:04:37,292
Well, there's lots of stuff
you can do for her.
117
00:04:37,294 --> 00:04:39,112
Just take her somewhere you can afford.
118
00:04:39,130 --> 00:04:41,596
Ha! There's only
two places I can afford...
119
00:04:41,598 --> 00:04:43,331
my apartment and this place.
120
00:04:43,333 --> 00:04:45,233
And my apartment doesn't
have free donuts.
121
00:04:45,235 --> 00:04:48,403
This place doesn't have free
donuts either, you know.
122
00:04:49,841 --> 00:04:50,705
I don't know, what if she don't want
123
00:04:50,707 --> 00:04:52,207
to hang out in my
crappy little apartment?
124
00:04:52,209 --> 00:04:53,708
You won't know until you ask,
125
00:04:53,710 --> 00:04:56,044
and if you don't ask,
it'll bother you more and more.
126
00:04:56,046 --> 00:04:59,181
Hey, I really want
you and Tavi to make it.
127
00:04:59,183 --> 00:05:03,952
Ooh. If you get her pregnant,
we can go to the All-Star Game.
128
00:05:05,189 --> 00:05:07,455
♪ ♪
129
00:05:21,178 --> 00:05:22,744
You get a ten-minute
break every two hours,
130
00:05:22,746 --> 00:05:24,179
but if you want to step
outside and have a smoke,
131
00:05:24,181 --> 00:05:25,347
I'll look the other way.
132
00:05:25,349 --> 00:05:27,516
Uh, ha ha,
but I'm getting paid for that time.
133
00:05:27,518 --> 00:05:31,019
Isn't that stealing from the
sexy and benevolent owner?
134
00:05:31,021 --> 00:05:32,788
Don't worry about him, I'm the boss.
135
00:05:32,790 --> 00:05:34,223
That's right, you are the boss,
136
00:05:34,225 --> 00:05:37,292
and I am the employee,
and my name is Brian.
137
00:05:37,294 --> 00:05:38,694
(chuckles)
138
00:05:39,742 --> 00:05:43,065
Hello. I'm in the mood for a sandwich,
139
00:05:43,067 --> 00:05:44,600
Brian.
140
00:05:45,388 --> 00:05:46,635
Of course.
141
00:05:46,637 --> 00:05:47,703
(quietly): What are you doing here?
142
00:05:47,705 --> 00:05:49,571
I wanted to see if you needed any help.
143
00:05:49,573 --> 00:05:51,139
Maybe get a free sub.
144
00:05:51,141 --> 00:05:54,209
Also, Arthur asked me
to steal some napkins.
145
00:05:55,679 --> 00:05:57,679
What kind of bread would you like, sir?
146
00:05:57,681 --> 00:05:59,982
Uh, top part pumpernickel, toasted,
147
00:05:59,984 --> 00:06:02,184
bottom part white, room temp.
148
00:06:03,520 --> 00:06:05,387
Certainly, sir, I will get that
149
00:06:05,389 --> 00:06:08,423
with absolutely no
resentment whatsoever.
150
00:06:09,927 --> 00:06:13,128
- So, any leads in the case of the missing cheese?
- Not yet.
151
00:06:13,130 --> 00:06:15,097
But I'm gonna find the
culprit by the end of the day.
152
00:06:15,099 --> 00:06:16,398
Why are you in such a hurry?
153
00:06:16,400 --> 00:06:19,167
Because I rented the wig.
154
00:06:19,169 --> 00:06:21,169
Hey, new guy,
you want to grab a beer after work
155
00:06:21,171 --> 00:06:22,304
and watch the game?
156
00:06:22,306 --> 00:06:24,172
Oh, you mean like a friend?
157
00:06:24,174 --> 00:06:25,340
Yeah.
158
00:06:25,342 --> 00:06:27,109
No.
159
00:06:27,111 --> 00:06:28,377
Let me ask you.
160
00:06:28,379 --> 00:06:30,312
Do you know who's taking the cheese?
161
00:06:34,218 --> 00:06:37,452
You're not gonna get any information
out of anybody if you act like that.
162
00:06:37,454 --> 00:06:39,354
You've got to build up the relationship.
163
00:06:39,356 --> 00:06:41,423
Act friendly. Ask about their lives.
164
00:06:41,425 --> 00:06:43,292
Back off, Tush, I got this.
165
00:06:43,294 --> 00:06:44,860
Everything okay?
166
00:06:44,862 --> 00:06:46,528
Everything's dandy, ma'am.
167
00:06:46,530 --> 00:06:48,730
I'd love some condiments.
168
00:06:48,732 --> 00:06:50,532
How about some mayo?
169
00:06:51,835 --> 00:06:54,336
A little more.
170
00:06:54,338 --> 00:06:56,171
Little more.
171
00:06:56,173 --> 00:06:58,807
Teeny bit more.
172
00:06:58,809 --> 00:07:00,575
Ah! That's too much.
173
00:07:05,203 --> 00:07:07,149
All right, so let me give
you a tour of the apartment
174
00:07:07,151 --> 00:07:11,720
That's my media room,
dining room, my kitchen.
175
00:07:11,722 --> 00:07:12,954
Weird-ass roommate.
176
00:07:13,698 --> 00:07:15,290
Hello, I'm Zale.
177
00:07:15,292 --> 00:07:17,326
- Hey, I'm Tavi.
- No.
178
00:07:19,063 --> 00:07:21,463
Eh, wish I could.
179
00:07:21,465 --> 00:07:22,564
She's just not getting it.
180
00:07:22,566 --> 00:07:24,633
Yeah, um...
181
00:07:24,635 --> 00:07:25,967
He's kind of a germophobe.
182
00:07:25,969 --> 00:07:27,669
- And you said you wouldn't be here.
- Don't worry,
183
00:07:27,671 --> 00:07:29,104
I'm leaving soon. Just as soon
184
00:07:29,106 --> 00:07:32,808
as I sterilize my tongue scraper.
185
00:07:32,810 --> 00:07:35,677
I'm sorry about Zale, man.
He-He kind of a strange person,
186
00:07:35,679 --> 00:07:37,679
you know, but at least he don't watch me
187
00:07:37,681 --> 00:07:38,714
when I sleep anymore.
188
00:07:38,716 --> 00:07:40,048
How do you know?
189
00:07:40,959 --> 00:07:42,484
Damn, baby,
why you gotta ask questions like that?
190
00:07:42,486 --> 00:07:43,685
- Now I'm scared.
- (laughs)
191
00:07:45,189 --> 00:07:47,322
- This has been a fun night, Franco.
- See?
192
00:07:47,324 --> 00:07:49,324
Told you we didn't gotta spend
no money to have a good time.
193
00:07:49,326 --> 00:07:53,028
Yeah, the music was great,
the food was delicious.
194
00:07:53,030 --> 00:07:54,763
Did you ever catch the name
of the bride and groom?
195
00:07:54,765 --> 00:07:59,167
Nah, but that ain't stop me
from making a damn good toast.
196
00:07:59,169 --> 00:08:00,802
I'm glad you had a good time.
197
00:08:00,804 --> 00:08:03,138
Yeah. I gotta remember to thank Sofia.
198
00:08:03,140 --> 00:08:04,339
- Sofia?
- Mm-hmm.
199
00:08:04,341 --> 00:08:06,775
I was telling her I kinda felt
200
00:08:06,777 --> 00:08:09,044
a little insecure about how unbalanced
201
00:08:09,046 --> 00:08:10,078
our relationship was,
202
00:08:10,080 --> 00:08:11,413
and she suggested I do this.
203
00:08:11,415 --> 00:08:12,581
Really?
204
00:08:12,583 --> 00:08:15,384
Did it ever occur to you
to talk to me about that?
205
00:08:16,173 --> 00:08:18,754
It's occurring to me now.
206
00:08:20,090 --> 00:08:22,524
So, you talked to Sofia about us?
207
00:08:22,526 --> 00:08:25,394
No, not just us.
We talk about everything.
208
00:08:25,396 --> 00:08:27,562
Aw, damn, that didn't help, did it?
209
00:08:28,344 --> 00:08:29,998
You want to tell me
what's going on here?
210
00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:31,833
Yes! Yeah, yeah, I'll tell you.
211
00:08:31,835 --> 00:08:33,335
You like honesty... I'm gonna be honest.
212
00:08:33,337 --> 00:08:35,070
Okay, so, yeah, we talk.
213
00:08:35,072 --> 00:08:37,439
We text. She gives me advice.
214
00:08:37,992 --> 00:08:40,142
Sometimes we go to movies
you don't want to see.
215
00:08:40,144 --> 00:08:42,511
And, uh, on Wednesday night
it's ramen night.
216
00:08:42,513 --> 00:08:45,046
Oh.
217
00:08:46,683 --> 00:08:49,885
I-Is this you appreciating my honesty?
218
00:08:51,078 --> 00:08:52,888
Look, I'm not gonna
keep investing in this
219
00:08:52,890 --> 00:08:55,023
unless you're all in.
220
00:08:55,025 --> 00:08:58,126
When you figure it out, give me a call.
221
00:08:59,630 --> 00:09:01,096
(door shuts)
222
00:09:01,098 --> 00:09:04,466
I couldn't help but overhear.
223
00:09:04,468 --> 00:09:07,302
If you want someone to talk
to about your relationship,
224
00:09:07,304 --> 00:09:09,805
I'd prefer it not be me.
225
00:09:19,653 --> 00:09:21,081
ARTHUR: Hey, there he is!
226
00:09:21,083 --> 00:09:22,783
How was your big night with Tavi?
227
00:09:22,785 --> 00:09:25,085
Not great, so don't get your
heart set on those Cubs tickets.
228
00:09:25,087 --> 00:09:26,286
ARTHUR: Why?
229
00:09:26,288 --> 00:09:27,621
Is it something in the bedroom?
230
00:09:27,623 --> 00:09:29,923
'Cause I can help you with that.
231
00:09:29,925 --> 00:09:32,659
No. Tavi's pissed because
she thinks I'm spending
232
00:09:32,661 --> 00:09:33,960
too much time with Sofia.
233
00:09:34,547 --> 00:09:37,197
You know, I can see
where Tavi's coming from.
234
00:09:37,199 --> 00:09:39,766
If I was into some guy,
I wouldn't be thrilled
235
00:09:39,768 --> 00:09:41,902
if he was hanging out with
somebody he'd slept with.
236
00:09:41,904 --> 00:09:45,138
Yeah. That's why me and
this one never did the deed.
237
00:09:45,140 --> 00:09:48,075
We don't want to lose
that great friendship.
238
00:09:48,897 --> 00:09:51,678
Yeah... That's why, Tush.
239
00:09:52,616 --> 00:09:54,147
I just don't get why she
suddenly has a problem
240
00:09:54,149 --> 00:09:55,248
with all this, man.
241
00:09:55,250 --> 00:09:56,850
She knows me and Sofia broke up.
242
00:09:56,852 --> 00:09:59,920
Well, technically, you didn't break up.
243
00:09:59,922 --> 00:10:02,723
You wanted more, and Sofia said no.
244
00:10:02,725 --> 00:10:03,690
She was busy...
245
00:10:03,692 --> 00:10:05,525
I know what she said!
246
00:10:07,029 --> 00:10:09,629
If you want to get technical,
she didn't say no.
247
00:10:09,631 --> 00:10:11,185
She said not now.
248
00:10:11,661 --> 00:10:13,767
Well,
if you're still hanging on to this,
249
00:10:13,769 --> 00:10:15,268
Tavi might have a point.
250
00:10:15,270 --> 00:10:17,637
Yeah, if you have
any feelings for Sofia,
251
00:10:17,639 --> 00:10:18,605
you better nip it in the bud.
252
00:10:19,244 --> 00:10:20,307
ARTHUR: I got your back, kid.
253
00:10:20,309 --> 00:10:22,008
Sofia is banned from the shop.
254
00:10:22,010 --> 00:10:24,277
I'm gonna put up a sign that says,
255
00:10:24,279 --> 00:10:26,880
"You must be this tall for donuts."
256
00:10:26,882 --> 00:10:30,075
No, she works right outside.
I see her all the time.
257
00:10:30,110 --> 00:10:31,251
And when Sweatpants ain't here,
258
00:10:31,253 --> 00:10:33,386
she's the only one within
30 years of my age.
259
00:10:33,388 --> 00:10:34,521
Ah-heh-hem! Ahem.
260
00:10:34,523 --> 00:10:37,023
Twenty-five.
261
00:10:37,025 --> 00:10:39,326
Fine. All right, when you see her,
just keep it light and polite.
262
00:10:39,328 --> 00:10:42,562
All right? Stick to sports,
weather and Gremlins.
263
00:10:42,564 --> 00:10:44,931
Gremlins? The movie?
264
00:10:44,933 --> 00:10:47,000
There's a movie?
265
00:10:47,863 --> 00:10:49,770
Look, in this situation,
266
00:10:49,772 --> 00:10:51,371
it doesn't matter what you think.
267
00:10:51,373 --> 00:10:53,104
It's what Tavi thinks.
268
00:10:53,139 --> 00:10:55,675
ARTHUR: Yeah, you listen to Randy,
kid, because I really like that Tavi.
269
00:10:55,677 --> 00:10:57,277
And I hope you patch things up.
270
00:10:57,279 --> 00:10:59,846
And I'm not just saying that
because of the luxury box.
271
00:10:59,848 --> 00:11:01,114
But if she happens to bring it up,
272
00:11:01,116 --> 00:11:02,682
can you ask her if parking is included?
273
00:11:02,684 --> 00:11:04,284
Oh, a-and food.
274
00:11:05,154 --> 00:11:06,186
Hey, you know what?
275
00:11:06,188 --> 00:11:07,020
You got a lot on your mind.
276
00:11:07,022 --> 00:11:08,522
Just the parking?
277
00:11:11,545 --> 00:11:12,225
Tush.
278
00:11:12,227 --> 00:11:13,460
- Yes.
- You were right
279
00:11:13,462 --> 00:11:15,462
about those dummies at the sub shop.
280
00:11:15,464 --> 00:11:17,330
I can't get anybody to talk to me.
281
00:11:17,332 --> 00:11:18,832
Can you give me a couple pointers?
282
00:11:18,834 --> 00:11:20,867
Yes. It's really simple.
283
00:11:20,869 --> 00:11:23,336
When people talk to you,
you have to be interested.
284
00:11:24,001 --> 00:11:25,906
Got it. Pretend to be interested.
285
00:11:25,908 --> 00:11:27,107
No.
286
00:11:27,109 --> 00:11:28,875
You really have to care.
287
00:11:28,877 --> 00:11:29,910
Right.
288
00:11:29,912 --> 00:11:31,244
Pretend to care.
289
00:11:31,246 --> 00:11:32,712
Okay. No. Look,
290
00:11:32,714 --> 00:11:34,714
learning how to connect
with people takes practice.
291
00:11:34,716 --> 00:11:37,884
Why don't you go ask Randy
about her daughter in college?
292
00:11:38,417 --> 00:11:39,486
I don't want to interrupt.
293
00:11:39,488 --> 00:11:40,520
I'm sure she'll be fine.
294
00:11:40,522 --> 00:11:41,755
I meant my day.
295
00:11:41,757 --> 00:11:45,125
Go. Just... go.
296
00:11:45,127 --> 00:11:46,259
(grunts)
297
00:11:46,261 --> 00:11:47,494
Hello, Randy.
298
00:11:48,440 --> 00:11:50,463
How's your daughter?
299
00:11:50,465 --> 00:11:52,232
You really want to know?
300
00:11:56,004 --> 00:11:57,938
Okay.
301
00:11:57,940 --> 00:12:00,273
Uh, she started her sophomore year.
302
00:12:00,275 --> 00:12:02,976
She just declared her major.
303
00:12:04,054 --> 00:12:04,811
TUSH: Fawz,
304
00:12:04,813 --> 00:12:06,513
do you have a follow-up question?
305
00:12:06,515 --> 00:12:07,814
Yes.
306
00:12:08,436 --> 00:12:09,616
Are you almost done?
307
00:12:10,919 --> 00:12:12,118
You know, it's a wonder
308
00:12:12,120 --> 00:12:14,554
that no one has ever
done this to you yet.
309
00:12:15,204 --> 00:12:16,723
You know, I lived through three wars.
310
00:12:16,725 --> 00:12:19,459
This just reminds me of my childhood.
311
00:12:19,461 --> 00:12:21,795
- Fawz!
- What?
312
00:12:21,797 --> 00:12:22,929
It's your fault for picking a woman.
313
00:12:22,931 --> 00:12:25,098
You know I never listen to them.
314
00:12:25,100 --> 00:12:26,933
We'll try again.
If you can get through this,
315
00:12:26,935 --> 00:12:28,568
you can get through anything.
316
00:12:28,570 --> 00:12:30,537
Arthur? Will you tell Fawz
317
00:12:30,539 --> 00:12:32,038
about that time that you switched
318
00:12:32,040 --> 00:12:35,575
from manila envelopes
to plain white ones?
319
00:12:36,560 --> 00:12:38,211
It was 1957.
320
00:12:38,213 --> 00:12:39,779
Ike was in the White House,
321
00:12:39,781 --> 00:12:42,215
World War II was in the rearview mirror,
322
00:12:42,217 --> 00:12:44,751
and manila was all the rage.
323
00:12:44,753 --> 00:12:46,987
Oh, dear God.
324
00:12:48,390 --> 00:12:50,924
And I'm looking forward to a
world where we don't see color.
325
00:12:50,926 --> 00:12:53,526
We don't see white,
and we don't see manila,
326
00:12:53,528 --> 00:12:56,730
we just see envelopes.
327
00:12:56,732 --> 00:12:59,432
Did you ever use those envelopes
with the little windows?
328
00:12:59,434 --> 00:13:01,935
I'm a rebel, not a madman.
329
00:13:04,006 --> 00:13:05,272
Hey, Franco.
330
00:13:05,274 --> 00:13:06,806
I've been dying to know.
331
00:13:07,511 --> 00:13:09,109
How'd it go with Tavi last night?
332
00:13:09,111 --> 00:13:10,310
Uh, fine.
333
00:13:10,312 --> 00:13:11,611
Uh, the usual?
334
00:13:11,613 --> 00:13:13,513
Well, come on, I want details.
335
00:13:13,515 --> 00:13:16,216
If my advice worked,
you're paying for ramen tonight.
336
00:13:16,792 --> 00:13:18,885
Yeah, uh, ramen. Right.
337
00:13:18,887 --> 00:13:22,122
Uh, so, look, uh, I don't think
I'll be able to make it tonight.
338
00:13:22,124 --> 00:13:24,724
- Oh, why not?
- I'm free, Sofia.
339
00:13:24,726 --> 00:13:28,328
And I'm all about that ramen.
340
00:13:28,330 --> 00:13:31,998
But I got to warn you: I'm a slurper.
341
00:13:33,192 --> 00:13:34,701
Franco, is something wrong?
342
00:13:35,637 --> 00:13:38,138
Uh, look, I just don't think, uh,
343
00:13:38,140 --> 00:13:40,907
we should be talking about my
relationship with Tavi anymore.
344
00:13:41,553 --> 00:13:42,475
Why not?
345
00:13:42,477 --> 00:13:43,777
'Cause we got in a huge fight.
346
00:13:43,779 --> 00:13:45,965
All right? And she thinks I
still got feelings for you.
347
00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:48,071
SWEATPANTS: Doesn't have to be ramen.
348
00:13:48,106 --> 00:13:48,848
You know?
349
00:13:48,850 --> 00:13:51,084
Um, a tomato, a chowder...
350
00:13:51,086 --> 00:13:54,354
(gasps) A hearty alphabet.
351
00:13:55,867 --> 00:13:56,823
What did you tell her?
352
00:13:56,825 --> 00:13:58,158
I told her she was wrong.
353
00:13:58,160 --> 00:13:59,426
But I-I still need to
prove there's nothing
354
00:13:59,428 --> 00:14:00,727
going on between you and me.
355
00:14:00,729 --> 00:14:02,829
I love wonton.
356
00:14:04,499 --> 00:14:06,900
I could eat one ton of wonton.
357
00:14:06,902 --> 00:14:08,668
(laughs)
358
00:14:09,938 --> 00:14:13,974
So are you just canceling ramen night,
or our whole friendship?
359
00:14:13,976 --> 00:14:15,775
Look, I don't even know
if she'll take me back.
360
00:14:15,777 --> 00:14:17,143
I-I just... (sighs)
361
00:14:17,145 --> 00:14:19,412
I just need some time to
figure everything out.
362
00:14:20,848 --> 00:14:22,549
Okay, why don't I make it
real easy for you?
363
00:14:22,551 --> 00:14:25,018
You don't have to worry
about seeing me at all.
364
00:14:25,020 --> 00:14:26,252
Sofia!
365
00:14:26,955 --> 00:14:30,924
Ooh. That was rough, man.
366
00:14:30,926 --> 00:14:32,926
But hey, I know what might pick you up.
367
00:14:32,928 --> 00:14:34,661
Don't you dare say any kind of soup.
368
00:14:34,663 --> 00:14:37,630
No. I was gonna say "grab a drink."
369
00:14:37,632 --> 00:14:40,100
I know a soup place with a great bar.
370
00:14:50,027 --> 00:14:52,074
Hey, Fawz, how'd it go?
Did you make friends
371
00:14:52,111 --> 00:14:53,610
with the people at the sub shop?
372
00:14:53,612 --> 00:14:56,113
You know what? Because of you, I did.
373
00:14:56,115 --> 00:14:58,582
I smiled, I asked questions,
and I learned so much.
374
00:14:58,584 --> 00:15:00,283
Suzy loves knitting,
375
00:15:00,285 --> 00:15:03,854
and Bobby sometimes
passes out when he drives.
376
00:15:04,662 --> 00:15:06,690
Well, I don't mean to brag,
but it looks like someone
377
00:15:06,692 --> 00:15:09,893
taught you the true value of friendship.
378
00:15:09,895 --> 00:15:12,362
You certainly did, Tush.
379
00:15:12,364 --> 00:15:14,931
You stupid, stupid idiot!
380
00:15:14,933 --> 00:15:16,166
What are you hitting me for?
381
00:15:16,168 --> 00:15:17,467
It worked, you made friends.
382
00:15:17,469 --> 00:15:18,602
Exactly.
383
00:15:18,604 --> 00:15:20,170
I can't fire my friends.
384
00:15:20,172 --> 00:15:22,873
How am I gonna run a business
if I can't fire people?
385
00:15:22,875 --> 00:15:24,908
That's the fun part!
386
00:15:24,910 --> 00:15:27,511
Well, did you at least find out
who was stealing the cheese?
387
00:15:27,513 --> 00:15:28,712
I don't have time.
388
00:15:28,714 --> 00:15:30,447
Thanks to Tush, I'm playing racquetball
389
00:15:30,449 --> 00:15:31,815
with Bobby on Thursdays,
390
00:15:31,817 --> 00:15:34,017
and Suzy's twins are turning seven...
391
00:15:34,019 --> 00:15:36,086
I have to go to the party.
392
00:15:37,077 --> 00:15:39,489
No one is making you be Brian.
393
00:15:39,491 --> 00:15:41,091
Well, if I'm not Brian,
then who's gonna pick up
394
00:15:41,093 --> 00:15:42,626
the cake for the twins?
395
00:15:45,264 --> 00:15:47,130
(quietly): Hey. Is Franco here?
396
00:15:47,132 --> 00:15:48,365
No, it's just us.
397
00:15:48,367 --> 00:15:50,801
Oh, good. Because I've been
dying for my morning coffee.
398
00:15:50,803 --> 00:15:52,302
To go.
399
00:15:52,304 --> 00:15:54,271
Because you're not supposed to
be hanging around here, right?
400
00:15:54,273 --> 00:15:56,139
Oh, Franco's just overreacting.
401
00:15:56,778 --> 00:15:58,108
Is he?
402
00:15:59,935 --> 00:16:01,511
Why do you come here all the time?
403
00:16:01,513 --> 00:16:04,481
Boy, I'm really feeling the love today.
404
00:16:04,483 --> 00:16:06,016
I'm just saying, there...
405
00:16:06,018 --> 00:16:08,518
there's a million
donut shops in Chicago.
406
00:16:08,520 --> 00:16:11,988
Ones that are cheaper,
ones that are cleaner.
407
00:16:11,990 --> 00:16:14,291
Ones that are way cleaner.
408
00:16:15,494 --> 00:16:16,593
Where am I supposed to go?
409
00:16:16,595 --> 00:16:18,195
I park my truck right out front.
410
00:16:18,197 --> 00:16:20,897
And that's the only curb in Chicago?
411
00:16:20,899 --> 00:16:22,466
What's your point?
412
00:16:22,468 --> 00:16:25,635
I think you have feelings for Franco.
413
00:16:25,637 --> 00:16:27,637
If I'm wrong, you should stay away
414
00:16:27,639 --> 00:16:30,707
and stop making his
life more complicated.
415
00:16:30,709 --> 00:16:33,777
But if I'm right, you should tell him.
416
00:16:34,796 --> 00:16:36,947
But what about Tavi?
417
00:16:36,949 --> 00:16:38,915
It seems like they're
on the outs right now.
418
00:16:38,917 --> 00:16:40,450
This is your time.
419
00:16:40,452 --> 00:16:41,918
Life is short.
420
00:16:41,920 --> 00:16:46,823
- Just ask Greg Belle of Mundelein.
- (gasps) Oh, dear Lord.
421
00:16:46,825 --> 00:16:48,492
And your window is closing.
422
00:16:48,494 --> 00:16:50,641
Don't be like Esther Buchanan.
423
00:16:51,263 --> 00:16:55,031
She was cut in half by a closing window.
424
00:16:55,805 --> 00:16:56,633
ARTHUR: You know, I-I think
425
00:16:56,635 --> 00:16:58,568
I might be risking Cubs tickets,
but, uh,
426
00:16:58,570 --> 00:17:01,004
Randy is right, Sof.
427
00:17:01,006 --> 00:17:05,876
I guess I'm gonna go
tell Franco how I feel.
428
00:17:16,121 --> 00:17:18,121
Well, I think I'm gonna run out,
429
00:17:18,123 --> 00:17:20,423
grab a new driver's license photo.
430
00:17:21,436 --> 00:17:22,292
Wait, wait, wait.
431
00:17:23,395 --> 00:17:24,528
Isn't that Fawz's wig?
432
00:17:24,530 --> 00:17:26,730
What wig?
433
00:17:29,768 --> 00:17:31,068
(knocking at door)
434
00:17:31,139 --> 00:17:33,503
Hey. Thanks for coming.
435
00:17:33,505 --> 00:17:35,739
It was on my way back from class.
436
00:17:35,741 --> 00:17:37,073
Those flowers for me?
437
00:17:37,075 --> 00:17:38,341
Yep.
438
00:17:38,343 --> 00:17:39,809
Well, in the spirit of honesty,
439
00:17:39,811 --> 00:17:42,112
they're from the retirement
home Sweatpants works at.
440
00:17:42,114 --> 00:17:45,782
They're, uh,
get-well flowers for Ms. Bernstein.
441
00:17:45,784 --> 00:17:47,183
Did she get well?
442
00:17:47,185 --> 00:17:51,187
More in the spirit of honesty: no.
443
00:17:51,189 --> 00:17:53,156
What do you want?
444
00:17:53,158 --> 00:17:55,492
Can you take a seat?
445
00:17:56,361 --> 00:17:57,364
Thank you.
446
00:17:59,364 --> 00:18:00,897
You were right.
447
00:18:00,899 --> 00:18:03,266
I shouldn't have been talking
to Sofia about our relationship.
448
00:18:03,268 --> 00:18:05,335
But that won't happen ever again,
I promise.
449
00:18:05,337 --> 00:18:06,436
How's that gonna work?
450
00:18:06,438 --> 00:18:07,971
You see her every day.
451
00:18:07,973 --> 00:18:09,272
Right, I do.
452
00:18:09,274 --> 00:18:11,341
But if she comes in the shop,
u-uh, for a donut,
453
00:18:11,343 --> 00:18:13,343
or a cup of coffee, I'll just say hello.
454
00:18:13,345 --> 00:18:14,911
And that's it. Nothing more.
455
00:18:14,913 --> 00:18:16,446
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
456
00:18:16,448 --> 00:18:18,048
I'm all about you and me now.
457
00:18:18,050 --> 00:18:21,017
Which is why I want to
take you away this weekend.
458
00:18:21,019 --> 00:18:23,820
I booked us a little trip
to Lake Geneva. My treat.
459
00:18:23,822 --> 00:18:26,323
I found a little awesome
condo facing the lake.
460
00:18:26,325 --> 00:18:27,824
You know?
All we got to do is sit through
461
00:18:27,826 --> 00:18:29,559
a four-hour timeshare presentation.
462
00:18:30,631 --> 00:18:31,361
A-And then, the weekend
463
00:18:31,363 --> 00:18:33,463
is just you and me,
just you and me, all right?
464
00:18:33,465 --> 00:18:35,265
A-And then, another two-hour
presentation during brunch.
465
00:18:35,267 --> 00:18:37,767
But only if we want to use the pool.
466
00:18:38,534 --> 00:18:40,303
Franco, that sounds awful.
467
00:18:41,615 --> 00:18:42,806
Really?
468
00:18:43,421 --> 00:18:47,010
Which is great, because there's
no way that was Sofia's idea.
469
00:18:47,012 --> 00:18:48,211
Nah. Nope, it's mine, it's my idea,
470
00:18:48,213 --> 00:18:49,479
yeah, this trip was all me.
471
00:18:49,481 --> 00:18:51,648
It's all me, every terrible detail.
472
00:18:51,650 --> 00:18:53,249
So what do you say?
473
00:18:53,251 --> 00:18:54,718
I'd love to go.
474
00:18:54,720 --> 00:18:55,852
(exhales) Mwah.
475
00:18:55,854 --> 00:18:56,953
This is dope.
476
00:18:56,955 --> 00:18:59,356
All right, cool, so we should leave now.
477
00:18:59,358 --> 00:19:01,091
Uh, we got to take an "L" to a bus
478
00:19:01,093 --> 00:19:02,160
to another bus to get there.
479
00:19:02,261 --> 00:19:03,860
Or, we could take my dad's plane.
480
00:19:03,862 --> 00:19:05,362
I could go pack, send a car to get you
481
00:19:05,364 --> 00:19:06,630
and meet you at the airport.
482
00:19:06,632 --> 00:19:09,232
If you're okay with me
paying for part of it.
483
00:19:10,220 --> 00:19:11,868
Yeah, that's cool,
484
00:19:11,870 --> 00:19:13,136
but that's just transportation.
485
00:19:13,138 --> 00:19:15,405
I-I'm taking care of the condo,
the food,
486
00:19:15,407 --> 00:19:17,073
and the massages we
get if we just decide
487
00:19:17,075 --> 00:19:18,908
to pose for one of their
photos in the brochure.
488
00:19:20,312 --> 00:19:22,178
They don't get a lot
of black people there.
489
00:19:28,515 --> 00:19:29,753
Zale.
490
00:19:29,755 --> 00:19:30,987
What are you doing?
491
00:19:30,989 --> 00:19:32,389
98.2% of door buzzers
492
00:19:32,391 --> 00:19:35,125
have traces of staphylococcal bacteria.
493
00:19:35,127 --> 00:19:37,861
Well, you're showing those
germs who's boss, huh?
494
00:19:37,863 --> 00:19:39,362
(laughs)
495
00:19:40,090 --> 00:19:41,398
Is this exchange over?
496
00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:43,667
I hope so.
497
00:19:44,265 --> 00:19:44,968
Hi, Zale.
498
00:19:44,970 --> 00:19:48,338
- Sofia?
- Hey.
499
00:19:48,340 --> 00:19:51,207
Yes, this exchange is over.
500
00:19:53,645 --> 00:19:55,311
What are you doing here?
501
00:19:55,313 --> 00:19:56,479
I thought you said that we...
502
00:19:56,481 --> 00:19:57,681
I know, uh...
503
00:19:57,683 --> 00:19:59,349
But just hear me out.
504
00:19:59,351 --> 00:20:03,553
Life is short, and there's
something I need to tell you.
505
00:20:03,555 --> 00:20:04,988
Oh, my ride's here.
506
00:20:04,990 --> 00:20:06,222
Yo, what up, Tony?
507
00:20:06,224 --> 00:20:09,025
Oh, your ride. Where are you going?
508
00:20:09,027 --> 00:20:11,928
I'm taking Tavi away
for the weekend. Or...
509
00:20:11,930 --> 00:20:13,830
Tavi's dad's driver is taking
me to Tavi's dad's plane
510
00:20:13,832 --> 00:20:15,665
to take Tavi away for the weekend.
511
00:20:15,667 --> 00:20:17,634
It's the least I could do.
512
00:20:18,681 --> 00:20:21,104
Cool, so you guys patched things up.
513
00:20:21,106 --> 00:20:22,772
Yeah, pretty much.
514
00:20:24,310 --> 00:20:26,076
Well, that's great.
515
00:20:26,078 --> 00:20:27,277
- Cool.
- All right, I'll see you.
516
00:20:27,279 --> 00:20:29,145
Okay.
517
00:20:29,147 --> 00:20:31,414
Oh. What did you want to tell me?
518
00:20:32,784 --> 00:20:37,320
That I'm gonna give you and
Tavi all the space you need.
519
00:20:37,322 --> 00:20:41,157
And she's awesome, and I really
hope it works out for you guys.
520
00:20:41,159 --> 00:20:42,492
Cool.
521
00:20:42,494 --> 00:20:43,827
- Thank you, Sofia.
- Yeah.
522
00:20:43,829 --> 00:20:45,028
All right. What's up, Tony?
523
00:20:45,030 --> 00:20:46,062
It's stinky in here, Tony.
524
00:20:46,064 --> 00:20:48,331
What, you smoking weed or something?
525
00:20:55,307 --> 00:20:57,140
Oh, you're still here.
526
00:20:57,142 --> 00:20:58,975
Oh, don't worry, I'm leaving.
527
00:20:58,977 --> 00:21:00,443
You can go back to cleaning.
528
00:21:00,445 --> 00:21:02,479
Oh, no, I'm meeting a friend for dinner.
529
00:21:31,732 --> 00:21:33,812
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
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