1 00:00:04,429 --> 00:00:06,704 Good-bye, everyone. 2 00:00:06,706 --> 00:00:07,938 Don't you mean hello? 3 00:00:07,940 --> 00:00:09,840 Oh, Arthur. 4 00:00:09,842 --> 00:00:12,843 I'm really gonna miss our morning banter. 5 00:00:14,080 --> 00:00:16,914 Franco. 6 00:00:18,818 --> 00:00:20,151 You always listened to my stories 7 00:00:20,153 --> 00:00:22,987 even though everybody else said they were boring. 8 00:00:22,989 --> 00:00:25,723 I'm glad that's how you saw that. Damn. 9 00:00:26,540 --> 00:00:27,925 Sweatpants. 10 00:00:27,927 --> 00:00:30,728 - I never knew your real name. - Well, actually, it's... 11 00:00:30,730 --> 00:00:33,330 Now I never will. 12 00:00:33,332 --> 00:00:34,498 All right, all right, enough of that. 13 00:00:34,500 --> 00:00:35,633 What the hell is going on? 14 00:00:35,635 --> 00:00:37,201 I have diabetes. 15 00:00:37,203 --> 00:00:39,370 Oh, my God. That's awful. 16 00:00:39,406 --> 00:00:40,581 Did the doctor say what kind? 17 00:00:40,673 --> 00:00:42,005 Oh, I didn't see the doctor. 18 00:00:42,075 --> 00:00:45,376 I got a blood test and picked up some brochures. 19 00:00:45,378 --> 00:00:47,078 I got all the symptoms. 20 00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:49,180 Okay. 21 00:00:49,182 --> 00:00:51,615 "Water retention, lack of milk, 22 00:00:51,617 --> 00:00:54,418 raw nipples"... 23 00:00:55,248 --> 00:00:56,537 It's the wrong brochure. 24 00:00:56,539 --> 00:00:58,615 I just like the pictures on this one. 25 00:00:59,475 --> 00:01:00,205 There. 26 00:01:00,243 --> 00:01:02,944 Says I have to cut out carbs, fat, sugar, 27 00:01:02,946 --> 00:01:05,646 all the major food groups. 28 00:01:05,648 --> 00:01:07,415 Oh, you still can come in for coffee, right? 29 00:01:07,417 --> 00:01:09,951 What, and be around all of this deliciousness? 30 00:01:09,953 --> 00:01:11,852 You know I have no willpower. 31 00:01:11,854 --> 00:01:13,321 I used to be a pack-a-day smoker. 32 00:01:13,323 --> 00:01:14,455 Yeah, I know, but you quit. 33 00:01:14,457 --> 00:01:16,857 By eating donuts. 34 00:01:17,265 --> 00:01:19,093 Tush, if you're worried, 35 00:01:19,095 --> 00:01:21,095 why don't you try switching to vegetables? 36 00:01:21,097 --> 00:01:23,230 Sofia, this is a very serious problem, 37 00:01:23,232 --> 00:01:25,967 and I do not appreciate your sarcasm. 38 00:01:28,307 --> 00:01:30,171 Randy Deluca. 39 00:01:30,173 --> 00:01:31,339 Come here. 40 00:01:32,119 --> 00:01:34,475 Randy, there's no easy way to say this. 41 00:01:35,078 --> 00:01:37,411 It's never going to happen between us. 42 00:01:38,479 --> 00:01:39,447 Oh, Tush. 43 00:01:40,070 --> 00:01:42,683 You couldn't handle all this, anyway. 44 00:01:43,519 --> 00:01:45,152 Hey, what's happening? 45 00:01:45,154 --> 00:01:47,254 Thinks he has diabetes, can't have donuts, 46 00:01:47,256 --> 00:01:49,790 acting like he's dying. 47 00:01:49,792 --> 00:01:52,560 Well, I have one last good-bye. 48 00:01:54,397 --> 00:01:56,797 Aw, Tush. 49 00:01:59,842 --> 00:02:00,634 Where is he going? 50 00:02:00,636 --> 00:02:01,669 To the bathroom. 51 00:02:01,671 --> 00:02:04,438 It's where he spends most of his time. 52 00:02:04,440 --> 00:02:06,340 You know, I have some bad news, too. 53 00:02:06,342 --> 00:02:08,843 A bunch of ICE agents are doing a sweep of Uptown 54 00:02:08,845 --> 00:02:11,045 and I have to be their local liaison. 55 00:02:11,047 --> 00:02:13,814 - Immigration agents here? - Yeah. 56 00:02:13,816 --> 00:02:17,685 And you're cool with helping them round up innocent people? 57 00:02:17,687 --> 00:02:21,055 No. Chicago Police can't arrest anyone 58 00:02:21,057 --> 00:02:23,457 based on their immigration status. 59 00:02:23,459 --> 00:02:26,060 But the feds can and we have to babysit them, 60 00:02:26,062 --> 00:02:29,063 which sucks because then we're caught in the middle. 61 00:02:29,065 --> 00:02:31,198 Oh, golly gee. 62 00:02:33,603 --> 00:02:36,971 Are the po-po having a hard time? 63 00:02:37,574 --> 00:02:39,707 Yes, we are, smart-ass. 64 00:02:40,877 --> 00:02:42,443 You know, ICE is just doing their job. 65 00:02:42,445 --> 00:02:44,011 But the next time there's a hit-and-run, 66 00:02:44,013 --> 00:02:45,346 no one's gonna report it 67 00:02:45,348 --> 00:02:47,314 because they're gonna be scared to talk to us. 68 00:02:47,316 --> 00:02:51,218 ICE? I love ICE. 69 00:02:51,220 --> 00:02:54,021 Or as your people call it, La Migra. 70 00:02:55,658 --> 00:02:58,592 You know, if I could check a box on my tax returns 71 00:02:58,594 --> 00:03:00,795 to give all my money to ICE, I would. 72 00:03:00,797 --> 00:03:02,363 Actually, I tried. 73 00:03:02,365 --> 00:03:05,833 I made my own little box, but they said no. 74 00:03:05,835 --> 00:03:08,269 Man, how you gonna be pro-ICE and an immigrant? 75 00:03:08,271 --> 00:03:11,572 Because they go after the people who came here the wrong way. 76 00:03:11,574 --> 00:03:13,374 I came in the right way. 77 00:03:13,376 --> 00:03:14,708 I filled out the forms. 78 00:03:14,710 --> 00:03:16,444 I-I waited in line. 79 00:03:16,446 --> 00:03:21,182 Well, your line is a lot shorter than it is for Colombians. 80 00:03:21,184 --> 00:03:24,652 You know, it could take at least a decade just to be eligible. 81 00:03:25,434 --> 00:03:27,021 Oh, lucky me. 82 00:03:27,023 --> 00:03:28,456 When the Marines blew up my house, 83 00:03:28,458 --> 00:03:31,058 they gave me a Big Mac and a green card. 84 00:03:32,269 --> 00:03:34,895 I just hate it how liberals expect us 85 00:03:34,897 --> 00:03:36,664 to ignore the immigration laws, 86 00:03:36,666 --> 00:03:38,466 but we got to follow all the other laws. 87 00:03:38,468 --> 00:03:40,768 Is your car still parked in that fire lane? 88 00:03:40,770 --> 00:03:42,169 Yeah, I'll move it in a sec. 89 00:03:43,272 --> 00:03:44,905 The point is that I salute 90 00:03:44,907 --> 00:03:46,807 the brave men and women of ICE 91 00:03:46,809 --> 00:03:48,943 and their very cool windbreakers. 92 00:03:50,293 --> 00:03:52,246 Brave? Some of the people they go after 93 00:03:52,248 --> 00:03:54,048 did not choose to break the law. 94 00:03:54,050 --> 00:03:56,250 They came here with their parents when they were babies. 95 00:03:56,252 --> 00:03:58,953 Okay, well, what if a baby robs a bank? 96 00:04:00,446 --> 00:04:02,690 You're telling me that baby shouldn't be punished? 97 00:04:02,692 --> 00:04:06,594 You're right. He should go to baby jail. 98 00:04:06,596 --> 00:04:08,796 Is that real? Don't mess with me. 99 00:04:09,693 --> 00:04:12,733 Nobody would have to break the law if this country 100 00:04:12,735 --> 00:04:14,935 had a comprehensive immigration policy. 101 00:04:14,937 --> 00:04:16,203 Exactly. 102 00:04:16,205 --> 00:04:18,606 Immigration is what made this country great. 103 00:04:18,608 --> 00:04:20,841 I mean, we're all from somewhere else, right? 104 00:04:20,843 --> 00:04:22,243 Yup. Fawz is from Iraq. 105 00:04:22,245 --> 00:04:23,911 Your parents are from Poland. 106 00:04:23,913 --> 00:04:25,613 My grandparents are from Italy. 107 00:04:25,615 --> 00:04:27,515 Ooh, do me! It ends in Chicago, 108 00:04:27,517 --> 00:04:31,619 but before that, it's real uncomfortable. 109 00:04:32,737 --> 00:04:35,556 This isn't funny to the people who are spending their lives 110 00:04:35,558 --> 00:04:36,991 looking over their shoulders, 111 00:04:36,993 --> 00:04:40,227 praying that their families don't get torn apart. 112 00:04:41,497 --> 00:04:43,597 Well, now, she's really worked up over this. 113 00:04:43,599 --> 00:04:46,534 Well, her parents are immigrants. 114 00:04:46,536 --> 00:04:48,936 Yeah, it makes you wonder if maybe she's illegal. 115 00:04:48,938 --> 00:04:51,805 Has anyone seen her passport? 116 00:04:51,807 --> 00:04:53,007 Yeah, Fawz. 117 00:04:53,009 --> 00:04:55,176 I'm sure she's heading for the border right now. 118 00:04:56,212 --> 00:04:57,478 Well, it does look like 119 00:04:57,480 --> 00:04:58,846 she's saying good-bye to that new guy 120 00:04:58,848 --> 00:05:00,014 who works in her truck. 121 00:05:00,016 --> 00:05:01,782 Right. Yeah. Something's definitely going down, man. 122 00:05:01,784 --> 00:05:03,284 You know, if Arthur and I ever hug like that, 123 00:05:03,286 --> 00:05:05,886 - one of us better be dying. - Hey. 124 00:05:10,941 --> 00:05:11,878 Oh. 125 00:05:12,461 --> 00:05:13,961 He's my friend. Wh-What's up? 126 00:05:13,963 --> 00:05:16,263 So, everybody inside thinks that you're worried about ICE 127 00:05:16,265 --> 00:05:18,332 'cause you're here illegally, which I don't think is true, 128 00:05:18,334 --> 00:05:20,267 but if it is, just blink twice, 129 00:05:20,269 --> 00:05:23,170 I'll make a diversion and give you a head start. 130 00:05:23,817 --> 00:05:24,738 No. 131 00:05:25,394 --> 00:05:26,840 I'm not worried about myself. 132 00:05:26,842 --> 00:05:29,310 I'm-I'm worried about my brother. 133 00:05:29,312 --> 00:05:30,644 Franco, this is Rafé. 134 00:05:30,646 --> 00:05:31,712 What's up, man? 135 00:05:31,714 --> 00:05:33,414 He's undocumented and if they find him, 136 00:05:33,416 --> 00:05:34,715 he could be deported. 137 00:05:35,735 --> 00:05:38,085 You know, whenever I got kicked out of the movie theater 138 00:05:38,087 --> 00:05:40,854 for sneaking in, I would wait about 20 minutes, 139 00:05:40,856 --> 00:05:43,390 just come back through the fire exit. 140 00:05:45,428 --> 00:05:46,794 You might've just realized 141 00:05:46,796 --> 00:05:50,564 that I am not an expert on immigration. 142 00:06:06,856 --> 00:06:09,997 All right, okay, so, how are you not illegal but he illegal? 143 00:06:09,999 --> 00:06:12,300 Uh, we prefer the term undocumented. 144 00:06:12,302 --> 00:06:13,968 No human being is illegal. 145 00:06:13,970 --> 00:06:16,871 Yeah, I was just about to say that. 146 00:06:17,702 --> 00:06:19,840 I'm a citizen because I was born in the States. 147 00:06:19,842 --> 00:06:21,075 Rafé is two years older. 148 00:06:21,077 --> 00:06:22,376 He was born in Colombia. 149 00:06:22,378 --> 00:06:23,644 Yeah, I only know what Colombia looks like 150 00:06:23,646 --> 00:06:25,012 from coffee commercials. 151 00:06:26,249 --> 00:06:27,548 Oh, and season one of Narcos. 152 00:06:27,550 --> 00:06:29,016 - That's a good season right there, man. - Right? 153 00:06:29,018 --> 00:06:30,484 - I love some Narcos. - Okay. Thank you. 154 00:06:30,486 --> 00:06:32,353 Enough. 155 00:06:32,355 --> 00:06:33,955 Okay, so, what are you doing in Chicago? 156 00:06:33,957 --> 00:06:35,223 I thought y'all family was from Wisconsin? 157 00:06:35,225 --> 00:06:36,624 He had to leave last week 158 00:06:36,626 --> 00:06:39,126 when ICE raided the bakery he works at. 159 00:06:39,128 --> 00:06:41,028 Yeah, if they pick me up, I got to go to Colombia 160 00:06:41,030 --> 00:06:43,698 for the rest of my life, which might only be for a couple hours 161 00:06:43,700 --> 00:06:46,500 'cause I'll have to choose between gang "A" and gang "B." 162 00:06:46,502 --> 00:06:49,203 I don't even know the gang names. I'm in trouble. 163 00:06:52,229 --> 00:06:54,242 Sofia, since I can't eat donuts anymore, 164 00:06:54,244 --> 00:06:56,711 do you have something in a healthy morning snack? 165 00:06:56,713 --> 00:06:58,713 Uh, people like my chia pudding. 166 00:06:58,715 --> 00:07:01,315 Oh, well, I love my Chia Pet, so what the hell. 167 00:07:02,972 --> 00:07:04,485 Can you give Tush a chia bowl? 168 00:07:04,487 --> 00:07:06,387 Ah. 169 00:07:06,389 --> 00:07:08,589 Ooh, God. 170 00:07:10,888 --> 00:07:13,327 It's like my taste buds are committing suicide. 171 00:07:15,327 --> 00:07:18,833 Oh, sweet, sweet death, take me now. 172 00:07:19,624 --> 00:07:22,069 I mean, thank you. 173 00:07:23,106 --> 00:07:24,438 So what do we do now? 174 00:07:24,440 --> 00:07:25,840 Well, we keep you out of sight 175 00:07:25,842 --> 00:07:27,174 while ICE is in the neighborhood, 176 00:07:27,176 --> 00:07:28,743 and just go to my apartment and lay low. 177 00:07:28,745 --> 00:07:30,778 No way. They got my ID in the bakery raid. 178 00:07:30,780 --> 00:07:32,213 They can track me through family. 179 00:07:32,215 --> 00:07:33,914 I can't put you in any more danger. 180 00:07:33,916 --> 00:07:35,149 Danger? 181 00:07:35,151 --> 00:07:36,984 It's almost never enforced, but yes, 182 00:07:36,986 --> 00:07:39,353 I can go to prison for harboring him. 183 00:07:39,355 --> 00:07:42,323 All right, well, I would let you stay with me in my neighborhood, 184 00:07:42,325 --> 00:07:46,627 but the police harass anybody darker than Vin Diesel. 185 00:07:47,329 --> 00:07:49,764 No. I-I need someplace no one would ever drop by, 186 00:07:49,766 --> 00:07:51,198 like-like a hermit cave 187 00:07:51,200 --> 00:07:53,434 where an old, lonely shut-in would live. 188 00:07:54,237 --> 00:07:56,470 - Arthur. - Arthur. 189 00:07:58,510 --> 00:08:00,041 - Arthur. - Just hang on. 190 00:08:00,043 --> 00:08:01,108 Give it up, Fawz. 191 00:08:01,110 --> 00:08:02,677 Building a wall is not a solution 192 00:08:02,679 --> 00:08:04,178 to the immigration problem. 193 00:08:04,180 --> 00:08:07,381 You're right. That's why I want to build two walls. 194 00:08:08,851 --> 00:08:10,351 You better not be talking about Canada. 195 00:08:10,353 --> 00:08:13,788 They got the friendly white people. 196 00:08:14,408 --> 00:08:17,725 Not Canada. I want to build one wall across our southern border 197 00:08:17,727 --> 00:08:20,961 and one around Nancy Pelosi. 198 00:08:21,792 --> 00:08:22,730 You're an idiot! 199 00:08:22,732 --> 00:08:25,399 - Three walls. - Oh. 200 00:08:26,473 --> 00:08:27,835 All right, I got to get going. 201 00:08:27,837 --> 00:08:29,603 Got to go meet the ICE guys. 202 00:08:29,605 --> 00:08:31,372 Oh, uh, yeah? 203 00:08:31,374 --> 00:08:33,140 What, they doing raids right now? Uh, where? 204 00:08:33,142 --> 00:08:34,575 Oh, I can't tell you. 205 00:08:35,329 --> 00:08:36,410 These pain-in-the-ass fed guys 206 00:08:36,412 --> 00:08:40,481 are so touchy about their "secret raids." 207 00:08:40,483 --> 00:08:42,350 Off to the lumber yard. 208 00:08:43,347 --> 00:08:45,252 Oops. 209 00:08:45,926 --> 00:08:47,355 Hey, man, can I, can I talk to you in the kitchen real quick? 210 00:08:47,357 --> 00:08:48,489 - Just real quick? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 211 00:08:48,491 --> 00:08:49,590 Yeah, come on. 212 00:08:49,592 --> 00:08:51,125 You know, Arthur, I'm glad. 213 00:08:51,127 --> 00:08:52,159 Know why I'm glad? 214 00:08:52,161 --> 00:08:53,194 Because we're on the same page 215 00:08:53,196 --> 00:08:54,362 about this whole immigration thing. 216 00:08:54,364 --> 00:08:56,530 Well, no, it's an important issue. 217 00:08:56,532 --> 00:09:00,401 In fact, I just gave a donation to the Family Freedom Coalition. 218 00:09:00,403 --> 00:09:03,569 Yeah, they gave me a tote bag and a hand-crank flashlight. 219 00:09:03,604 --> 00:09:04,371 You know? 220 00:09:05,408 --> 00:09:07,608 I-I'm the battery. See? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. 221 00:09:07,610 --> 00:09:10,077 Cool. But, look, how would you like the chance 222 00:09:10,079 --> 00:09:11,946 to really change someone's life? 223 00:09:11,948 --> 00:09:13,180 - What do you mean? - Okay. 224 00:09:13,182 --> 00:09:14,949 So, you know how Sofia was hugging that guy 225 00:09:14,951 --> 00:09:16,117 - outside her truck? - Mm-hmm. 226 00:09:16,119 --> 00:09:18,052 That's her brother and he's undocumented. 227 00:09:18,054 --> 00:09:20,921 - Oh. - Mm-hmm. 228 00:09:21,830 --> 00:09:23,491 Well, how would you like to, uh, let him stay with you 229 00:09:23,493 --> 00:09:25,393 for a couple days till ICE is done sniffing around? 230 00:09:25,893 --> 00:09:27,266 With me? 231 00:09:28,773 --> 00:09:30,131 What happens if they find him here? 232 00:09:30,133 --> 00:09:32,233 Well, technically, you could go to jail, 233 00:09:32,235 --> 00:09:33,768 but Sofia says that rarely ever happens. 234 00:09:33,770 --> 00:09:35,469 "Rarely ever"?! 235 00:09:35,471 --> 00:09:36,670 No, no, no, no. That's not enough. 236 00:09:36,672 --> 00:09:38,205 - Uh-uh. - Come on, man. 237 00:09:38,207 --> 00:09:40,741 You know what they do to pretty boys in prison? 238 00:09:42,219 --> 00:09:43,811 No, no, I'm not breaking the law. 239 00:09:43,813 --> 00:09:45,513 Come on, Arthur. But the law's not right. 240 00:09:45,515 --> 00:09:46,614 They're brother and sister 241 00:09:46,616 --> 00:09:47,982 and one's documented, the other's not. 242 00:09:47,984 --> 00:09:50,584 - Oh, I see. I know what's going on here. - What? 243 00:09:50,586 --> 00:09:52,586 Look, if you want to impress Sofia, 244 00:09:52,588 --> 00:09:54,188 just buy her a malt 245 00:09:54,190 --> 00:09:57,758 and take her for a spin on the bumper cars at the fair. 246 00:09:59,327 --> 00:10:01,095 First of all, I would need a time machine 247 00:10:01,097 --> 00:10:02,363 to even go on that date. 248 00:10:02,365 --> 00:10:04,632 - All right? - Mm. 249 00:10:04,634 --> 00:10:06,267 Secondly, you know I got a girlfriend. 250 00:10:06,269 --> 00:10:07,768 - It's not about Sofia. - Exactly. 251 00:10:07,770 --> 00:10:09,870 I thought you and Sofia were supposed to be cooling it 252 00:10:09,872 --> 00:10:11,372 so Tavi wouldn't get jealous. 253 00:10:11,374 --> 00:10:12,456 You changing the subject. 254 00:10:12,542 --> 00:10:14,141 I'm trying to help a friend 'cause her brother's in trouble. 255 00:10:14,143 --> 00:10:15,843 I appreciate that, but I'm sorry. 256 00:10:15,845 --> 00:10:17,645 I'm not sticking my neck out for someone I don't even know. 257 00:10:17,647 --> 00:10:19,146 - Come on. - All right, look. 258 00:10:19,576 --> 00:10:20,381 If it helps, 259 00:10:21,133 --> 00:10:22,716 give her brother this. Here. 260 00:10:23,465 --> 00:10:24,452 There. Okay. 261 00:10:27,363 --> 00:10:28,389 Hey. 262 00:10:28,391 --> 00:10:29,623 What did Arthur say? 263 00:10:29,625 --> 00:10:30,933 Uh, he said no. 264 00:10:30,994 --> 00:10:32,893 But after I told him how serious this was, 265 00:10:32,895 --> 00:10:34,428 he said hell no. So... 266 00:10:35,705 --> 00:10:37,832 Okay, I-I-I guess I could see 267 00:10:37,834 --> 00:10:39,934 if my friends in Michigan can take him. 268 00:10:39,936 --> 00:10:42,603 Or we can put him in the basement. 269 00:10:45,274 --> 00:10:48,175 - But what if Arthur finds out? He's pretty sharp. - Franco! 270 00:10:48,177 --> 00:10:50,911 Get in here! My finger's stuck in the flashlight! 271 00:10:50,913 --> 00:10:52,546 I think we're good. 272 00:11:03,331 --> 00:11:04,496 Tush, what are you doing here? 273 00:11:04,498 --> 00:11:07,099 I thought you were gonna die of "beeties." 274 00:11:08,869 --> 00:11:11,203 Sweatpants is helping me develop some willpower, 275 00:11:11,205 --> 00:11:13,405 so I can still come in here without eating donuts. 276 00:11:13,407 --> 00:11:15,969 Eh-eh-eh, and what do we call them now? 277 00:11:16,004 --> 00:11:17,644 - "Do-nots." - Mm-hmm. 278 00:11:18,094 --> 00:11:20,554 I don't know why, but knowing that you can't eat these 279 00:11:20,615 --> 00:11:24,383 makes them even more delicious. Mmm. 280 00:11:25,325 --> 00:11:27,152 You are a monster. 281 00:11:34,428 --> 00:11:35,394 Hey. 282 00:11:35,396 --> 00:11:36,799 - How's my brother? - He's good. 283 00:11:36,834 --> 00:11:38,397 I just, uh, checked up on him down there. 284 00:11:38,952 --> 00:11:42,001 Actually, I didn't. That basement kind of terrifies me. 285 00:11:42,003 --> 00:11:45,437 There's a hole in the floor I think is a gateway to hell. 286 00:11:46,019 --> 00:11:47,673 Thank you again for doing this. 287 00:11:47,675 --> 00:11:48,644 No problem. 288 00:11:48,776 --> 00:11:50,858 But how long does he have to be down there, and what's the plan? 289 00:11:51,413 --> 00:11:54,279 Well, he came to Chicago to get a lawyer 290 00:11:54,281 --> 00:11:56,715 so he can start the process of becoming a citizen, 291 00:11:56,717 --> 00:11:59,551 but now that's on hold until we can get him someplace safe. 292 00:11:59,553 --> 00:12:02,170 Hmm... Okay. 293 00:12:02,205 --> 00:12:03,473 Well, look, if he can survive that basement, 294 00:12:03,524 --> 00:12:04,890 he can survive anywhere. 295 00:12:04,942 --> 00:12:07,843 I-I swear to God there's a goblin down there. 296 00:12:08,779 --> 00:12:11,046 - Oh, damn, it's ICE. - Oh, my God. 297 00:12:11,048 --> 00:12:12,314 Why did Randy bring them here? 298 00:12:12,316 --> 00:12:13,515 I don't know. Let me find out. 299 00:12:14,271 --> 00:12:16,585 - Hey, Randy. Randy! - Hey. 300 00:12:16,587 --> 00:12:17,720 What's going on? 301 00:12:17,772 --> 00:12:20,139 These gentlemen and Cheryl, 302 00:12:20,141 --> 00:12:22,508 who's a real hoot, 303 00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:24,610 need to search at least ten businesses a day. 304 00:12:24,612 --> 00:12:26,111 So I thought we'd check out this place 305 00:12:26,113 --> 00:12:27,513 while I have a cup of coffee. 306 00:12:27,515 --> 00:12:29,982 - Oh, but you know there's nothing going on here, so... - Mm-hmm. 307 00:12:29,984 --> 00:12:32,819 Oh, yeah, I told 'em this place was clean. 308 00:12:32,887 --> 00:12:34,853 Unless you're a health inspector, 309 00:12:34,855 --> 00:12:37,109 in which case you might want to call for backup. 310 00:12:39,060 --> 00:12:41,493 Randy, you should do Def Comedy Jam. Right, Cheryl? 311 00:12:46,467 --> 00:12:50,169 Look at that, a bunch of true American heroes... 312 00:12:50,171 --> 00:12:52,504 and Randy. 313 00:12:52,506 --> 00:12:54,606 You know, if you guys want to slap him around, 314 00:12:54,608 --> 00:12:57,476 I'll look the other way. Oh, actually, no. 315 00:12:57,478 --> 00:12:59,778 I'd like to watch. 316 00:13:00,986 --> 00:13:01,780 Arthur. 317 00:13:01,782 --> 00:13:05,717 ICE is in the house. Whatever they want is on me. 318 00:13:08,856 --> 00:13:11,023 Guys, if you want the best donuts in Chicago, 319 00:13:11,025 --> 00:13:12,291 you should go to Excellent Donuts. 320 00:13:12,293 --> 00:13:13,926 They are truly excellent. 321 00:13:13,928 --> 00:13:17,062 Some would say superior to these. 322 00:13:17,064 --> 00:13:18,497 Hey, hey, don't take it out on me 323 00:13:18,499 --> 00:13:21,433 just because people don't like your gravel and dirt bowls. 324 00:13:23,011 --> 00:13:24,403 Oh, my God! Look at all these customers. 325 00:13:24,405 --> 00:13:26,171 Y-You know what, we should get some more mugs. 326 00:13:26,173 --> 00:13:27,673 Yes! More mugs! 327 00:13:27,675 --> 00:13:29,641 Good idea. 328 00:13:29,643 --> 00:13:32,277 Sir, we'll need to audit your payroll records. 329 00:13:32,279 --> 00:13:34,580 Yeah, of course. Uh, anything you need. 330 00:13:34,582 --> 00:13:36,281 Uh, I'll be right back. 331 00:13:36,854 --> 00:13:37,760 Franco. 332 00:13:39,362 --> 00:13:40,285 Hey. 333 00:13:40,287 --> 00:13:42,287 Why you going down there? We got plenty of mugs up here. 334 00:13:42,289 --> 00:13:44,022 I know. I'm getting the basement mugs. 335 00:13:44,024 --> 00:13:45,190 They're fancier, you know? 336 00:13:45,192 --> 00:13:48,760 Nothing too good for those American heroes. 337 00:13:48,762 --> 00:13:50,295 You're terrified of that basement. 338 00:13:50,297 --> 00:13:52,064 Yeah. Uh, that's why I go down there. 339 00:13:52,066 --> 00:13:53,765 To make myself feel less terrified. 340 00:13:53,767 --> 00:13:55,734 You know? So, if you'll excuse me, 341 00:13:55,736 --> 00:13:58,470 I got some soul-searching to do. 342 00:13:58,472 --> 00:13:59,805 Hey, come here. Wait. 343 00:13:59,807 --> 00:14:01,306 What's going on? 344 00:14:02,441 --> 00:14:04,343 Remember how I told you how Sofia's brother 345 00:14:04,345 --> 00:14:06,378 needed a safe place to stay? 346 00:14:06,380 --> 00:14:08,147 - You mean he's down there? - Uh-huh. 347 00:14:08,149 --> 00:14:09,581 - This place is crawling with ICE! - I know. 348 00:14:09,583 --> 00:14:11,316 If they find him, I'll get thrown in jail! 349 00:14:11,318 --> 00:14:12,584 It's cool. It'll probably be just a fine. 350 00:14:12,586 --> 00:14:13,919 A fine?! 351 00:14:13,921 --> 00:14:16,388 No, I'd rather be in jail. 352 00:14:16,390 --> 00:14:18,257 I told you I didn't want to get involved! 353 00:14:18,259 --> 00:14:20,592 - You had no right to drag me in this. - Yell at me later, man. 354 00:14:20,594 --> 00:14:21,760 Can you... can you go out there and distract 'em 355 00:14:21,762 --> 00:14:23,028 while I sneak Rafé out the back? 356 00:14:23,030 --> 00:14:24,496 What, me? I wouldn't even know what to say. 357 00:14:24,498 --> 00:14:25,831 You'll be fine. Just think of something. 358 00:14:25,833 --> 00:14:28,254 - I don't know what to... - Shut up, y-you'll be fine. 359 00:14:28,289 --> 00:14:29,735 - Okay. All right, I got it. - Okay, okay. 360 00:14:29,737 --> 00:14:30,969 Uh, sorry, everyone. 361 00:14:30,971 --> 00:14:33,105 I'm afraid you're all gonna have to leave. 362 00:14:33,107 --> 00:14:35,207 - Why? - A-a broken sewer pipe. 363 00:14:35,209 --> 00:14:36,608 And a gas leak. Oh, rats. 364 00:14:36,610 --> 00:14:39,411 That's "oh, rats," like "I'm so disappointed." 365 00:14:39,413 --> 00:14:41,346 But we do have rats. 366 00:14:42,376 --> 00:14:43,415 Oh, damn. 367 00:14:43,417 --> 00:14:45,017 How many people do you employ here? 368 00:14:45,019 --> 00:14:46,652 - Just me. - Just Franco. 369 00:14:46,654 --> 00:14:48,820 He's American. Franco-American. Remember those guys? 370 00:14:48,822 --> 00:14:52,257 They made spaghetti with the tiny meatballs. 371 00:14:52,259 --> 00:14:53,992 Arthur, why are you acting so nervous? 372 00:14:53,994 --> 00:14:55,928 These guys are not interested in that weed 373 00:14:55,930 --> 00:14:57,396 you keep in the coffee can. 374 00:14:57,398 --> 00:15:00,566 Franco and I borrowed that. 375 00:15:00,568 --> 00:15:02,201 All right, we need to do a search. 376 00:15:02,203 --> 00:15:04,803 - You take the bathrooms. I'm gonna check the back. - Uh-uh! No, wait! 377 00:15:04,805 --> 00:15:06,238 I can't have strangers in my kitchen. 378 00:15:06,240 --> 00:15:07,706 Oh, relax. 379 00:15:07,708 --> 00:15:09,474 I'll go with him. Just in case he... 380 00:15:09,476 --> 00:15:11,810 accidentally cleans something. 381 00:15:12,397 --> 00:15:14,413 Yes! We're doing a raid! 382 00:15:14,415 --> 00:15:15,881 You're not doing anything, sir. 383 00:15:15,883 --> 00:15:17,716 Yes, you are much better utilized 384 00:15:17,718 --> 00:15:21,186 out here. We are gonna make you a spotter. 385 00:15:21,188 --> 00:15:23,555 Ooh, I've heard of that. Yes, yes, I will wait right here. 386 00:15:23,557 --> 00:15:25,457 I will be your eyes and ears. 387 00:15:25,459 --> 00:15:26,925 Okay. 388 00:15:26,927 --> 00:15:29,561 Hey, uh, should you leave me with a gun? 389 00:15:29,563 --> 00:15:31,196 A Taser? 390 00:15:31,198 --> 00:15:32,698 A flashlight? 391 00:15:34,068 --> 00:15:36,835 Even the mall cops get flashlights. 392 00:15:38,775 --> 00:15:40,505 - Where's that door go? - Uh... 393 00:15:40,507 --> 00:15:42,258 nowhere. It just stays right there. 394 00:15:44,389 --> 00:15:45,611 I'm gonna take a look. 395 00:15:46,140 --> 00:15:47,479 Uh, I'll go with him. 396 00:15:47,481 --> 00:15:49,214 - Oh, you're going in here? Okay. - Okay. Okay. 397 00:15:49,216 --> 00:15:51,049 All right, cool. 398 00:15:51,986 --> 00:15:54,753 Hope you like demons. 399 00:15:54,755 --> 00:15:56,088 Oh, God, it's over. 400 00:15:56,090 --> 00:15:57,322 I can't believe it. 401 00:15:57,324 --> 00:15:58,790 It's not over. Is there anything we can do? 402 00:15:59,511 --> 00:16:03,161 No. Uh, they're gonna take Rafé to a detention center, 403 00:16:03,163 --> 00:16:05,697 and then they're gonna send him back to Colombia. 404 00:16:05,699 --> 00:16:07,833 I have to call a lawyer. 405 00:16:07,835 --> 00:16:09,334 I need to call my lawyer also. 406 00:16:09,336 --> 00:16:11,570 'Cause thanks to you, I'm screwed. 407 00:16:11,572 --> 00:16:12,904 I'm sorry. I was just trying to help her. 408 00:16:12,906 --> 00:16:15,240 No, you were trying to be a hero and impress Sofia. 409 00:16:15,242 --> 00:16:17,342 And now I'm gonna pay for it. 410 00:16:17,344 --> 00:16:18,443 Oh, here we go. 411 00:16:18,445 --> 00:16:21,046 - All clear. - All clear. Oh, all clear? 412 00:16:21,048 --> 00:16:23,215 All clear! Just like we expected. 413 00:16:24,094 --> 00:16:24,816 Yeah. 414 00:16:24,818 --> 00:16:26,551 Except for all those dead raccoons. 415 00:16:26,553 --> 00:16:28,453 I didn't know you were into taxidermy. 416 00:16:28,455 --> 00:16:30,088 I'm not. 417 00:16:30,090 --> 00:16:33,125 Oh, uh, here's my records right here. 418 00:16:34,091 --> 00:16:37,029 Oh, wrong shoe box. It's just shoes. 419 00:16:39,080 --> 00:16:40,599 - Guess what. - What? 420 00:16:40,601 --> 00:16:41,800 Rafé's not in the basement. 421 00:16:41,802 --> 00:16:43,035 You're kidding. Where is he? 422 00:16:43,037 --> 00:16:44,069 I don't know. 423 00:16:44,071 --> 00:16:45,304 Hey, guys. What's up? 424 00:16:45,306 --> 00:16:47,105 - Want half a bagel? - What are you doing here? 425 00:16:47,107 --> 00:16:48,674 Yo, we thought you were in the basement. 426 00:16:48,676 --> 00:16:52,110 I ain't staying in that scary-ass basement. 427 00:16:52,112 --> 00:16:53,545 ICE is doing a raid right now. 428 00:16:53,547 --> 00:16:56,315 - We got to get you out of here, man. Come on. - Let's go. 429 00:16:56,317 --> 00:16:58,450 Hold it right there. 430 00:16:58,452 --> 00:16:59,918 You work on Sofia's truck, right? 431 00:16:59,920 --> 00:17:00,986 Uh-huh. 432 00:17:00,988 --> 00:17:03,255 Yeah, well, ICE just made me a spotter. 433 00:17:03,257 --> 00:17:04,890 Which is a thing. 434 00:17:04,892 --> 00:17:08,226 Which also means that I now have the authority to tell you 435 00:17:08,228 --> 00:17:10,896 to be on the lookout for any illegal aliens. 436 00:17:11,708 --> 00:17:12,594 Got it. 437 00:17:12,629 --> 00:17:13,632 - Thank you. - Thank you. 438 00:17:13,634 --> 00:17:15,734 - All right, man, thanks. Um... - We got to get to the kitchen. 439 00:17:15,736 --> 00:17:17,569 Kitchen. 440 00:17:19,373 --> 00:17:21,206 Windbreaker. 441 00:17:24,165 --> 00:17:26,144 Oh, my God! 442 00:17:27,548 --> 00:17:28,980 Everything okay, sir? 443 00:17:29,865 --> 00:17:32,117 No. It's not. 444 00:17:32,119 --> 00:17:33,819 I'm sorry, I can't do this anymore! 445 00:17:33,821 --> 00:17:36,221 I should've come clean before, but it's very hard 446 00:17:36,223 --> 00:17:38,457 for me to betray a friend. 447 00:17:38,459 --> 00:17:40,092 - Arthur, please don't. - Sorry, kid. 448 00:17:40,094 --> 00:17:41,560 There is an undocumented foreigner 449 00:17:41,562 --> 00:17:42,761 in this room right now. 450 00:17:42,763 --> 00:17:43,695 I knew it! 451 00:17:43,697 --> 00:17:46,198 And his name is Fawz Al-Shahrani. 452 00:17:46,200 --> 00:17:48,033 What? Me? 453 00:17:48,791 --> 00:17:50,402 No, I-I'm a citizen. 454 00:17:50,404 --> 00:17:51,840 We've never seen your passport. 455 00:17:51,939 --> 00:17:53,638 I don't know what you're up to, 456 00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:56,141 but, hey, I have nothing to hide. My passport is next door. 457 00:17:56,143 --> 00:17:57,476 I'll show you. 458 00:17:58,724 --> 00:17:59,578 Hey, listen, while we're over there, 459 00:17:59,580 --> 00:18:01,446 maybe you can question my mother-in-law. 460 00:18:01,448 --> 00:18:02,781 Is she undocumented? 461 00:18:02,783 --> 00:18:05,717 No, but I'm sure we could find some reason to deport her. 462 00:18:06,987 --> 00:18:10,922 So... something's going on here. 463 00:18:11,992 --> 00:18:13,892 And as a police officer, 464 00:18:13,894 --> 00:18:16,828 I don't ever want to know about it. 465 00:18:18,419 --> 00:18:19,197 Thanks, Randy. 466 00:18:19,199 --> 00:18:20,599 You look nice today. 467 00:18:20,601 --> 00:18:22,968 I know. 468 00:18:24,271 --> 00:18:26,605 Hey, y'all, can we make this, like, a... like, a walking hug? 469 00:18:26,607 --> 00:18:28,473 'Cause we got to get out of here. Come on. Let's go. 470 00:18:28,475 --> 00:18:29,908 Over here. Thank you. Come on. 471 00:18:35,029 --> 00:18:37,249 If you keep your mouth shut, I'll give you a clean one. 472 00:18:50,709 --> 00:18:51,757 Good morning, Arthur. 473 00:18:51,759 --> 00:18:53,358 The usual, please. 474 00:18:53,360 --> 00:18:54,893 What happened to your diabetes? 475 00:18:54,895 --> 00:18:55,894 False alarm. 476 00:18:55,896 --> 00:18:57,262 All of my symptoms... 477 00:18:57,264 --> 00:18:59,565 the blurry vision, the dizziness, the mood swings... 478 00:18:59,567 --> 00:19:02,267 were from an estrogen patch. 479 00:19:03,437 --> 00:19:06,271 I thought it was a nicotine patch. 480 00:19:08,042 --> 00:19:10,209 Well, I didn't notice any mood swings. 481 00:19:10,211 --> 00:19:13,746 That's because you never notice anything, you selfish bastard! 482 00:19:15,883 --> 00:19:18,584 Morning, Arthur. Yo, I didn't have a chance to thank you. 483 00:19:18,586 --> 00:19:21,019 And I didn't have a chance to yell at you. 484 00:19:21,021 --> 00:19:22,888 For what? Come on, man. Didn't it feel good 485 00:19:22,890 --> 00:19:24,022 to help Sofia's brother? 486 00:19:24,024 --> 00:19:25,624 No! It was terrifying. 487 00:19:26,849 --> 00:19:28,861 Look, uh, you got a big heart, and that's great. 488 00:19:28,863 --> 00:19:31,864 But you got to realize the consequences. Not just yours. 489 00:19:31,866 --> 00:19:34,266 The people you drag into your causes. 490 00:19:34,268 --> 00:19:36,835 Okay. My bad. I'm sorry. 491 00:19:36,837 --> 00:19:39,571 Look, kid, I'm not as brave as you. 492 00:19:39,573 --> 00:19:42,674 So I can't take those big risks. 493 00:19:43,812 --> 00:19:44,543 Okay. 494 00:19:44,545 --> 00:19:46,311 That's not true, though. 495 00:19:46,313 --> 00:19:47,346 Hmm? 496 00:19:47,348 --> 00:19:48,947 You took a risk on me. 497 00:19:48,949 --> 00:19:50,215 Gave me this job. 498 00:19:51,022 --> 00:19:53,051 You got me into school. 499 00:19:53,053 --> 00:19:55,721 You got me out of trouble with those police officers once. 500 00:19:56,615 --> 00:19:57,990 You stuck your neck out for me a couple times. 501 00:19:57,992 --> 00:19:59,858 - You know what I mean? - Yes. 502 00:19:59,860 --> 00:20:00,993 Yes, I have. 503 00:20:00,995 --> 00:20:02,828 I'm an idiot. 504 00:20:05,633 --> 00:20:06,732 What's up, Sofia? 505 00:20:06,734 --> 00:20:07,766 How's Rafé? 506 00:20:07,768 --> 00:20:10,169 - Safe. For now. - Okay. Well, you know, 507 00:20:10,171 --> 00:20:12,604 if he needs a place to stay, I can figure something out. 508 00:20:12,606 --> 00:20:14,540 Thank you, but he's gone. 509 00:20:14,542 --> 00:20:15,874 I swear to God, if he's still in that basement, 510 00:20:15,876 --> 00:20:19,144 I'm locking him in and let the demons eat him. 511 00:20:19,146 --> 00:20:20,946 He's on his way to Madison. 512 00:20:20,948 --> 00:20:24,650 And we got him a lawyer to help him figure out his options. 513 00:20:24,652 --> 00:20:26,285 - That's good. I'm glad. - Yeah. 514 00:20:26,287 --> 00:20:28,353 - Mm-hmm. - And, Arthur, he wanted me to thank you. 515 00:20:28,355 --> 00:20:29,555 Okay. 516 00:20:29,557 --> 00:20:31,356 And you, too. I know 517 00:20:31,358 --> 00:20:33,458 things have been really weird between us lately, 518 00:20:33,460 --> 00:20:35,427 but you're a really good friend. 519 00:20:35,429 --> 00:20:38,463 Oh. Anytime... Oh, okay. H-Hi. Uh... 520 00:20:38,465 --> 00:20:39,598 Hey. 521 00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:41,033 Hey, hey, hey, hey. 522 00:20:46,407 --> 00:20:47,639 Oh, hey, Sofia, uh, wait. 523 00:20:47,641 --> 00:20:50,075 If you see, uh, Rafé, give him this. 524 00:20:52,179 --> 00:20:53,651 It's a really good workout, you know? 525 00:20:55,382 --> 00:20:58,417 This-this is beautiful. 526 00:20:58,419 --> 00:20:59,718 Tush, you crying? 527 00:20:59,720 --> 00:21:01,753 What if I am, you son of a bitch?! 528 00:21:31,802 --> 00:21:33,858 - synced and corrected by sot26 - www.addic7ed.com