1
00:02:01,715 --> 00:02:08,715
ReEncoded By Dr.XJ | PSA
www.PSArips.com

2
00:02:13,716 --> 00:02:16,052
Fuck Wolverine.

3
00:02:17,178 --> 00:02:19,764
First, he rides my coattails
with the R rating.

4
00:02:19,889 --> 00:02:23,934
Then the hairy motherfucker
ups the ante by dying.

5
00:02:24,352 --> 00:02:26,062
What a dick.

6
00:02:26,562 --> 00:02:28,356
Well, guess what, Wolvie?

7
00:02:28,814 --> 00:02:30,733
I'm dying in this one, too.

8
00:02:34,403 --> 00:02:36,739
To understand
why I took a cat-nap

9
00:02:36,822 --> 00:02:38,908
on 1, 200 gallons
of high-test fuel...

10
00:02:38,991 --> 00:02:40,284
I need to take you back

11
00:02:40,368 --> 00:02:42,703
to the dewy slopes
of six weeks ago.

12
00:02:42,828 --> 00:02:44,080
I'd gone international,

13
00:02:44,163 --> 00:02:46,123
taking out mass murderers,
gangsters,

14
00:02:46,207 --> 00:02:47,583
unspeakable monsters.

15
00:02:47,958 --> 00:02:50,670
People nobody would touch.
Except me.

16
00:02:50,920 --> 00:02:52,838
I'm gonna touch them all over.

17
00:02:56,550 --> 00:02:58,427
Hey, it's Gail calling.

18
00:02:58,511 --> 00:02:59,595
Love the shiny suit.

19
00:02:59,679 --> 00:03:00,680
Really brings out

20
00:03:00,763 --> 00:03:02,306
the sex trafficker in your eyes.

21
00:03:02,390 --> 00:03:04,558
Whatever they're paying,
I'll double it.

22
00:03:04,725 --> 00:03:07,770
I don't
speak Cantonese, Mister...

23
00:03:08,729 --> 00:03:10,815
Well, I'm not even gonna
attempt that.

24
00:03:10,898 --> 00:03:13,526
But I did take 8th grade Spanish, so.

25
00:03:13,651 --> 00:03:15,695
Where is the library?

26
00:03:15,820 --> 00:03:17,822
Which literally translates to...

27
00:03:18,614 --> 00:03:21,242
I don't bargain, pumpkin fucker.

28
00:03:31,419 --> 00:03:34,130
This isn't Gilbert's.

29
00:03:34,213 --> 00:03:35,423
I am so sorry.

30
00:03:35,506 --> 00:03:37,091
I thought this was
an anal-bleaching party.

31
00:03:59,697 --> 00:04:01,157
Don't worry.
You're not going to die.

32
00:04:01,615 --> 00:04:03,659
Although these will kill you.

33
00:04:03,743 --> 00:04:04,744
Hit it, Dolly.

34
00:04:25,264 --> 00:04:26,640
I'm merely
a vessel for the Lord.

35
00:04:37,902 --> 00:04:40,488
Taking the hands out
of the guns of the criminals!

36
00:04:47,995 --> 00:04:50,539
Do not go in there!

37
00:04:57,254 --> 00:04:59,340
Let's see
Captain America do that.

38
00:05:08,307 --> 00:05:09,809
Too exotic?

39
00:05:32,164 --> 00:05:33,499
I don't bargain.

40
00:06:31,974 --> 00:06:34,894
Oh, God! Oh, God,
time out! Time out!

41
00:06:34,977 --> 00:06:38,480
Cut. I've got bad guy blood,
right in my open eye.

42
00:06:38,564 --> 00:06:40,316
That's so gross.

43
00:06:41,692 --> 00:06:42,735
Fuck.

44
00:06:43,903 --> 00:06:45,738
Looks like you left
a little landing strip there.

45
00:06:45,821 --> 00:06:46,864
I like it.

46
00:06:51,994 --> 00:06:53,621
Oh, man!

47
00:06:57,958 --> 00:06:59,877
My world tour brought me home

48
00:06:59,960 --> 00:07:02,296
to this guy, Sergei Valishnikov.

49
00:07:02,463 --> 00:07:03,923
But we'll get to him
in a moment.

50
00:07:04,006 --> 00:07:05,341
'Cause I know
what you're thinking.

51
00:07:05,424 --> 00:07:08,218
"I'm so glad
I left the kiddos at home."

52
00:07:08,302 --> 00:07:09,553
But that's where you'd be wrong.

53
00:07:09,637 --> 00:07:12,681
That babysitter of yours
is high as fuck right now...

54
00:07:12,806 --> 00:07:17,061
and, believe it or not,
Dead pool 2 is a family film.

55
00:07:17,144 --> 00:07:18,187
True story.

56
00:07:18,270 --> 00:07:22,149
And every good family film
starts with a vicious murder.

57
00:07:22,232 --> 00:07:25,277
Bambi, The Lion King, Saw 7.

58
00:07:25,361 --> 00:07:28,614
Holy shit pickles!
That guy's on fire.

59
00:07:28,697 --> 00:07:31,575
That's not CGI, folks.
He's actually on fire.

60
00:07:31,659 --> 00:07:34,995
Yeah. You know I get paid
to take out bad guys, right?

61
00:07:35,079 --> 00:07:36,163
But this guy?

62
00:07:36,246 --> 00:07:38,332
He was one of the worst of 'em.

63
00:07:41,001 --> 00:07:42,503
Hurry up and open
this fucking door,

64
00:07:42,586 --> 00:07:43,671
and let's kill
this motherfucker!

65
00:07:50,803 --> 00:07:52,429
So gross.

66
00:07:52,888 --> 00:07:55,265
A panic room? Really?

67
00:07:55,766 --> 00:07:57,935
Can you come out?

68
00:07:58,018 --> 00:08:01,105
I really have to go.
It's my anniversary.

69
00:08:07,027 --> 00:08:08,320
Over and
over, I hear people say,

70
00:08:08,404 --> 00:08:09,863
"I just don't have
enough confidence."

71
00:08:09,947 --> 00:08:12,116
Listen, confidence is not
something you have.

72
00:08:12,199 --> 00:08:13,450
It's something you create.

73
00:08:13,534 --> 00:08:15,536
And you can create it
at any moment in time.

74
00:08:15,661 --> 00:08:17,329
A sense of confidence is nothing

75
00:08:17,413 --> 00:08:18,706
but a sense of power
within yourself...

76
00:08:18,789 --> 00:08:20,666
a sense of certainty that
you can pull something off.

77
00:08:20,749 --> 00:08:22,793
Start the fucking car!

78
00:08:22,876 --> 00:08:23,961
Dopinder!

79
00:08:24,044 --> 00:08:25,587
Start the fucking car!

80
00:08:30,259 --> 00:08:32,594
Shoot that motherfucker!
Shoot him!

81
00:08:32,803 --> 00:08:34,304
I shit my pants.

82
00:08:34,388 --> 00:08:36,724
Actually, that may have been me.

83
00:08:36,807 --> 00:08:38,017
Mission accomplished?

84
00:08:38,100 --> 00:08:40,185
In a George W.
sort of way.

85
00:08:40,269 --> 00:08:41,937
Fucker can't stay
in a panic room forever.

86
00:08:42,021 --> 00:08:43,439
You're living the dreams, DP.

87
00:08:43,522 --> 00:08:45,649
It has been
quite the run, Dopinder,

88
00:08:45,733 --> 00:08:46,942
and who'da thought?

89
00:08:47,026 --> 00:08:49,069
Now I'm talked about
in the same sentence as Jesus.

90
00:08:49,570 --> 00:08:51,405
Passion of the Christ, then me.

91
00:08:51,488 --> 00:08:52,698
At least domestically.

92
00:08:52,781 --> 00:08:53,949
We beat them overseas,

93
00:08:54,033 --> 00:08:55,993
where there's no such thing
as religion.

94
00:08:56,076 --> 00:08:58,245
I do want to live
the dreams, Pool Boy.

95
00:08:58,328 --> 00:09:00,622
Taxiing is not as sexy
as it looks.

96
00:09:00,748 --> 00:09:02,499
- I want to fill my...
- Pockets?

97
00:09:02,583 --> 00:09:05,753
What's your poison?
A little cokey cokey?

98
00:09:05,836 --> 00:09:07,129
Can't maintain an erection

99
00:09:07,212 --> 00:09:08,630
without buying shoes online?

100
00:09:08,797 --> 00:09:10,716
I've never experienced
that last one.

101
00:09:10,799 --> 00:09:12,009
Talk to me, Goose.

102
00:09:12,092 --> 00:09:14,887
I was going to say "soul".
I want to fill my soul.

103
00:09:14,970 --> 00:09:17,931
I want to belong to something,
like you, Pool, sir.

104
00:09:18,098 --> 00:09:19,600
Dopinder...

105
00:09:20,100 --> 00:09:21,935
You never cease to surprise me.

106
00:09:23,270 --> 00:09:26,065
You know, the depth of
your heart is extraordinary.

107
00:09:26,148 --> 00:09:27,775
We all need
a sense of belonging.

108
00:09:27,858 --> 00:09:29,610
We all need
a genuine sense of home.

109
00:09:29,693 --> 00:09:30,778
A place in this world.

110
00:09:30,861 --> 00:09:32,154
I want to become
a contract killer.

111
00:09:32,237 --> 00:09:33,739
I'm sorry. What did you say?

112
00:09:34,114 --> 00:09:36,033
Remember when I kidnapped Bandhu

113
00:09:36,116 --> 00:09:37,409
and threatened him
with great violence?

114
00:09:37,493 --> 00:09:38,827
You kind of killed him.

115
00:09:38,911 --> 00:09:40,662
And then remember the movie
Interview with the Vampire?

116
00:09:40,746 --> 00:09:41,872
Don't want to.

117
00:09:41,955 --> 00:09:42,998
When Tom Cruise fed

118
00:09:43,082 --> 00:09:44,875
10-year-old Kirsten Dunst blood

119
00:09:44,958 --> 00:09:46,126
for the first time...

120
00:09:46,210 --> 00:09:48,587
and she looked up at his smooth,

121
00:09:48,670 --> 00:09:50,881
handsome face and said...

122
00:09:51,673 --> 00:09:53,425
"I want some more."

123
00:09:53,509 --> 00:09:57,137
Pool, picture me,
a 10-year-old Kirsten Dunst.

124
00:09:58,180 --> 00:10:00,182
I'll never not picture that.

125
00:10:00,933 --> 00:10:02,684
But I can't wait
to never speak of this,

126
00:10:02,768 --> 00:10:04,144
as soon as possible.

127
00:10:04,853 --> 00:10:07,356
We're here.

128
00:10:14,113 --> 00:10:16,073
Dopinder, it's me again.

129
00:10:16,156 --> 00:10:17,825
Look, a saner man
might discourage you

130
00:10:17,908 --> 00:10:19,743
from joining
the deadly merc business...

131
00:10:19,827 --> 00:10:21,245
what, with your concave chest

132
00:10:21,328 --> 00:10:22,955
and your paper towel tube arms.

133
00:10:23,038 --> 00:10:24,706
But you're an eagle...

134
00:10:24,790 --> 00:10:26,750
and goddamn it,
an eagle's gotta soar.

135
00:10:26,834 --> 00:10:28,168
You gotta grab those dreams,

136
00:10:28,252 --> 00:10:29,837
grab those dreams
by the dick tip...

137
00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:31,421
and make it rain!

138
00:10:31,505 --> 00:10:33,382
I don't know what that means.

139
00:10:33,465 --> 00:10:35,425
Me neither.

140
00:10:36,009 --> 00:10:37,469
I'm gonna see you...

141
00:10:38,804 --> 00:10:40,139
at the office.

142
00:10:40,722 --> 00:10:41,807
In the sky.

143
00:10:41,890 --> 00:10:42,933
You're my Tom Cruise!

144
00:10:43,016 --> 00:10:44,643
And you're my Kristen Dunst!

145
00:10:44,726 --> 00:10:45,978
Kristen? Kirsten?

146
00:10:51,233 --> 00:10:52,818
Sorry I'm late.

147
00:10:52,901 --> 00:10:54,444
There was a bunch of

148
00:10:54,528 --> 00:10:56,572
handicapable children
stuck in a tree...

149
00:10:56,655 --> 00:10:57,906
and I had to...

150
00:10:58,198 --> 00:11:00,909
You're right.
I was fighting a caped badass.

151
00:11:00,993 --> 00:11:03,245
But then we discovered
his mom is named Martha, too.

152
00:11:03,370 --> 00:11:05,330
- No.
- You got me.

153
00:11:05,747 --> 00:11:07,499
I was rounding up
all the gluten in the world

154
00:11:07,583 --> 00:11:08,750
and launching it into space...

155
00:11:08,834 --> 00:11:10,836
where it can't not
hurt us ever again.

156
00:11:11,003 --> 00:11:12,171
Try again.

157
00:11:12,754 --> 00:11:14,173
Diarrhea?

158
00:11:14,339 --> 00:11:15,966
We can't be sure
until I get this suit off...

159
00:11:17,050 --> 00:11:19,011
but all signs point to yes.

160
00:11:20,929 --> 00:11:21,930
Traffic?

161
00:11:24,808 --> 00:11:26,393
Kiss me like you miss me, Red.

162
00:11:26,476 --> 00:11:27,477
Well, come here.

163
00:11:39,198 --> 00:11:40,949
I'm gonna shower
and get out of this suit.

164
00:11:41,700 --> 00:11:42,826
Don't you want your surprise?

165
00:11:42,910 --> 00:11:44,745
Do I look like
a patient burn victim?

166
00:11:45,537 --> 00:11:46,788
I got one for you, too.

167
00:11:47,915 --> 00:11:49,291
Happy anniversary, baby.

168
00:11:49,458 --> 00:11:51,043
Open, open, open.

169
00:11:53,045 --> 00:11:54,379
Skee-Ball token.

170
00:11:54,838 --> 00:11:56,173
Our first date.

171
00:11:56,256 --> 00:11:57,507
Yup.

172
00:11:57,883 --> 00:12:00,552
That's genuine, high-grade lead.

173
00:12:03,430 --> 00:12:05,349
I'll keep it forever.

174
00:12:05,807 --> 00:12:07,226
Thank you, baby.

175
00:12:08,852 --> 00:12:10,562
- Open yours.
- All right, all right.

176
00:12:14,149 --> 00:12:15,984
That's just the most
beautiful thing that I've...

177
00:12:16,068 --> 00:12:17,402
I don't know what this is.

178
00:12:17,486 --> 00:12:18,987
My IUD.

179
00:12:19,363 --> 00:12:20,364
A bomb?

180
00:12:20,447 --> 00:12:23,242
No, dick for brains.
My birth control device.

181
00:12:23,742 --> 00:12:24,785
What, you mean that your...

182
00:12:24,868 --> 00:12:26,578
Baby factory's open
for business.

183
00:12:26,662 --> 00:12:27,746
Oh, my God!

184
00:12:27,996 --> 00:12:31,208
Oh, my God! I want a boy!

185
00:12:31,291 --> 00:12:34,127
Or a little girl!
Definitely one or the other!

186
00:12:34,419 --> 00:12:37,214
And I want our kid
to have only one name.

187
00:12:37,798 --> 00:12:40,342
Like Cher or Todd.

188
00:12:41,093 --> 00:12:42,844
You gotta pump a baby
in me first, cowboy.

189
00:12:42,928 --> 00:12:43,929
Yes, I do.

190
00:12:44,012 --> 00:12:45,764
Let's watch some porn
and show that bed who's boss.

191
00:12:45,847 --> 00:12:46,848
Let's do that.

192
00:12:48,058 --> 00:12:49,518
Papa...

193
00:12:50,227 --> 00:12:52,396
Can you hear me?

194
00:12:53,855 --> 00:12:56,191
Papa, can you see me?

195
00:12:56,525 --> 00:12:58,777
Does this song
sound familiar to you?

196
00:13:01,071 --> 00:13:02,531
May.

197
00:13:03,282 --> 00:13:06,994
Connor, if it's a boy.
May, if it's a girl.

198
00:13:09,663 --> 00:13:12,040
So weird.

199
00:13:12,124 --> 00:13:14,543
Family was always
an F-word to me.

200
00:13:16,044 --> 00:13:19,256
My pile of shit father
took off and bailed.

201
00:13:20,424 --> 00:13:22,634
I mean, it's not like I have
a lot of strong role models

202
00:13:22,718 --> 00:13:24,428
to draw off of for Todd.

203
00:13:25,595 --> 00:13:28,223
Hey. Look at me.

204
00:13:29,391 --> 00:13:31,560
You are not your father.

205
00:13:33,270 --> 00:13:34,688
Besides...

206
00:13:34,771 --> 00:13:39,484
I will never, ever
let our child be named Todd.

207
00:13:40,485 --> 00:13:41,486
But here's the thing,

208
00:13:41,570 --> 00:13:43,113
isn't that how it always works?

209
00:13:43,447 --> 00:13:44,948
Like in Star Wars,

210
00:13:45,032 --> 00:13:47,075
men are destined
to become their father...

211
00:13:47,784 --> 00:13:50,829
and then have consensual sex
with their sister?

212
00:13:50,912 --> 00:13:53,332
I think you missed
big, big chunks of that movie.

213
00:13:54,249 --> 00:13:56,460
No, I'm pretty sure
Luke nailed her.

214
00:13:56,543 --> 00:13:58,170
Baby, that's Empire.

215
00:13:58,670 --> 00:14:01,256
The point is, kids...

216
00:14:02,758 --> 00:14:05,385
they give us a chance
to be better than we are.

217
00:14:06,219 --> 00:14:08,347
Better than we used to be.

218
00:14:08,930 --> 00:14:11,433
You're a lot smarter
than I look.

219
00:14:12,476 --> 00:14:13,852
I'm gonna go make dessert.

220
00:14:14,186 --> 00:14:17,314
You get the strap-on.
Let's make a super baby.

221
00:14:18,690 --> 00:14:20,942
Pretty sure it doesn't work
that way, but we can try.

222
00:14:22,110 --> 00:14:25,572
What about Krystal?
But with a "K"?

223
00:14:25,655 --> 00:14:27,574
It's too stripper-y.

224
00:14:27,657 --> 00:14:29,159
Kevin with a "K"!

225
00:14:29,242 --> 00:14:31,328
No, too stripper-y, too.

226
00:14:31,912 --> 00:14:33,497
Earl!

227
00:14:33,872 --> 00:14:36,166
He's gonna go straight to jail

228
00:14:36,249 --> 00:14:38,043
if we name him Earl.

229
00:14:38,502 --> 00:14:40,379
What about Bruce?

230
00:14:41,380 --> 00:14:42,547
No.

231
00:14:42,881 --> 00:14:43,882
Get down.

232
00:14:43,965 --> 00:14:45,342
What?

233
00:15:14,246 --> 00:15:15,997
Baby? Baby?

234
00:15:19,584 --> 00:15:20,669
I'm okay.

235
00:15:21,336 --> 00:15:23,839
Thank God I didn't have to use
the cream cheese spreader.

236
00:15:58,582 --> 00:15:59,875
Please.

237
00:16:04,963 --> 00:16:06,756
Please. Please.

238
00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:09,885
Baby, I'm so sorry.

239
00:16:10,051 --> 00:16:13,847
No!

240
00:19:18,365 --> 00:19:21,076
Papa, can you hear me?

241
00:19:22,035 --> 00:19:23,536
Is it just me, or does

242
00:19:23,620 --> 00:19:25,372
Do You Want to Build
a Snowman? from Frozen...

243
00:19:25,455 --> 00:19:26,706
sound suspiciously like

244
00:19:26,790 --> 00:19:28,708
Papa, Can You Hear Me?
from Yentl?

245
00:19:30,126 --> 00:19:32,253
Papa, can you hear me?

246
00:19:34,047 --> 00:19:36,591
And nobody fucking realizes it.

247
00:19:36,675 --> 00:19:38,218
Wade, you gotta go home.

248
00:19:38,301 --> 00:19:40,887
You've been sitting here
for three days, okay?

249
00:19:41,096 --> 00:19:44,641
You smell like sauerkraut
left in the warm rain.

250
00:19:44,808 --> 00:19:47,102
Like wet garbage in hot urine.

251
00:19:47,185 --> 00:19:49,312
You smell like
a dog ate kitty litter...

252
00:19:49,396 --> 00:19:51,398
and then farted his way
out of the living room.

253
00:19:51,481 --> 00:19:53,274
I mean, like Rush Limbaugh's

254
00:19:53,358 --> 00:19:54,901
couch cushions after Shark Week.

255
00:19:55,235 --> 00:19:56,611
I love Frozen.

256
00:19:56,986 --> 00:20:00,198
I loved her. I loved her
like an ocean loves water.

257
00:20:00,615 --> 00:20:01,700
An ocean is water.

258
00:20:01,783 --> 00:20:06,454
More importantly, I liked her.
I really liked her, you know?

259
00:20:06,955 --> 00:20:08,081
George Michael was right.

260
00:20:08,164 --> 00:20:09,999
I'm never gonna
dance again. Fuck!

261
00:20:10,583 --> 00:20:11,584
He's dead, too.

262
00:20:12,752 --> 00:20:14,087
At least we still have Bowie.

263
00:20:14,170 --> 00:20:15,839
Mr. Pool.
David Bowie is...

264
00:20:17,257 --> 00:20:18,383
still with us.

265
00:20:18,466 --> 00:20:21,344
We do.
We'll always have Bowie.

266
00:20:21,928 --> 00:20:22,929
I'm sorry.

267
00:20:23,054 --> 00:20:24,305
Shot after shot,

268
00:20:24,389 --> 00:20:26,307
it's not gonna change the fact
that I think you're...

269
00:20:26,391 --> 00:20:27,976
Are you pissing?
Are you urinating right now?

270
00:20:28,059 --> 00:20:30,812
You're making the face that
you make when you urinate.

271
00:20:30,979 --> 00:20:32,439
- Is he pissing?
- I'm on it!

272
00:20:32,605 --> 00:20:34,065
There you go, Dopinder.

273
00:20:34,149 --> 00:20:36,151
If you want to be
a contract killer...

274
00:20:36,234 --> 00:20:38,737
you gotta handle a mop
before you handle a gun.

275
00:20:38,820 --> 00:20:39,821
Although I don't
quite understand

276
00:20:39,904 --> 00:20:41,114
how they are at all similar.

277
00:20:41,197 --> 00:20:43,575
'Cause I could shove either
one up your ass and kill you.

278
00:20:43,658 --> 00:20:44,743
Now, leave me.

279
00:20:44,826 --> 00:20:45,827
I get it.

280
00:20:46,369 --> 00:20:47,912
Go home, Wade.

281
00:20:47,996 --> 00:20:50,373
I don't have a home,
Weas, you know. I got a...

282
00:20:51,791 --> 00:20:53,168
Okay, I'm fine.

283
00:20:53,251 --> 00:20:54,252
I'm fine.

284
00:20:54,335 --> 00:20:56,212
You know what "fine"
stands for, Wade?

285
00:20:56,296 --> 00:20:59,632
Fucked up, insecure,
needy, and emotional.

286
00:21:00,049 --> 00:21:01,301
According to the...

287
00:21:02,635 --> 00:21:03,803
- Kübler-Ross.
- Yeah.

288
00:21:04,137 --> 00:21:05,930
According to
the Kübler-Ross model...

289
00:21:06,014 --> 00:21:08,767
denial is just one of
the five stages of grief.

290
00:21:08,850 --> 00:21:10,810
Jesus Christ, Buck!

291
00:21:11,269 --> 00:21:13,188
No more speaking lines for you.

292
00:21:21,821 --> 00:21:24,157
Hey, bud. Bud.

293
00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:26,034
Got a match?

294
00:21:26,367 --> 00:21:27,368
Match?

295
00:21:27,911 --> 00:21:29,245
Yes, I have one right here.

296
00:21:29,329 --> 00:21:30,705
Don't make a move.
This is a stick-up.

297
00:21:30,830 --> 00:21:32,540
- What?
- You heard me.

298
00:21:32,624 --> 00:21:34,626
Mister, Mister,
put down that gun.

299
00:21:34,709 --> 00:21:37,295
Shut up. Now, come on.
Your money or your life?

300
00:21:45,512 --> 00:21:49,140
Look, bud. I said,
"Your money or your life."

301
00:21:49,307 --> 00:21:50,308
"I'm thinking it over!"

302
00:21:50,642 --> 00:21:51,976
Motherfuck!

303
00:21:52,060 --> 00:21:53,144
Fuck!

304
00:21:56,105 --> 00:21:57,565
The hell you doin' here?

305
00:21:57,649 --> 00:21:59,067
Don't you know how to knock?

306
00:21:59,776 --> 00:22:01,653
I thought you saw me...

307
00:22:01,736 --> 00:22:03,071
with your ears.

308
00:22:03,321 --> 00:22:04,322
You're lucky I didn't
shoot you in the...

309
00:22:04,405 --> 00:22:05,406
The wall?

310
00:22:05,490 --> 00:22:08,868
The refrigerator?
I'm in so much pain.

311
00:22:11,663 --> 00:22:13,248
I heard the news, sweetie.

312
00:22:13,331 --> 00:22:15,083
I'm very sorry. I am.

313
00:22:15,458 --> 00:22:16,918
What am I gonna do, Al?

314
00:22:17,418 --> 00:22:19,128
Probably something terrible.

315
00:22:20,296 --> 00:22:21,548
Knowing you.

316
00:22:21,714 --> 00:22:23,258
It was my fault.

317
00:22:24,467 --> 00:22:26,344
I fucking did this.

318
00:22:27,220 --> 00:22:29,013
And all I wanna do
is grab her and see her

319
00:22:29,097 --> 00:22:31,099
and tell her that I'm sorry,
and I can't.

320
00:22:33,059 --> 00:22:34,686
She's gone.

321
00:22:34,769 --> 00:22:38,189
Sweetheart, can you speak up?

322
00:22:38,606 --> 00:22:39,816
It's a little hard to hear you

323
00:22:39,899 --> 00:22:41,568
with that pity dick
in your mouth.

324
00:22:41,651 --> 00:22:44,654
Now, look, sugar.
You need to just keep living.

325
00:22:44,737 --> 00:22:45,738
Thank you...

326
00:22:45,822 --> 00:22:49,033
Matthew McConaughey,
your words are a treasure.

327
00:22:49,117 --> 00:22:51,160
Listen to the pain.

328
00:22:51,244 --> 00:22:53,955
It's both history teacher
and fortune teller.

329
00:22:54,038 --> 00:22:56,916
Pain teaches us
who we are, Wade.

330
00:22:57,709 --> 00:23:00,962
Sometimes, it's so bad,
we feel like we're dying.

331
00:23:01,629 --> 00:23:04,340
But we can't really live till
we've died a little, can we?

332
00:23:06,843 --> 00:23:08,052
Wade?

333
00:23:10,513 --> 00:23:12,432
- Wade?
- I'm right here, Althea.

334
00:23:12,724 --> 00:23:15,310
And that is
the most beautiful thing

335
00:23:15,393 --> 00:23:16,603
I've ever heard.

336
00:23:17,353 --> 00:23:18,897
And you're absolutely right.

337
00:23:22,734 --> 00:23:25,111
I'm about to do
something terrible.

338
00:23:31,159 --> 00:23:32,452
Precious, aren't they?

339
00:23:34,746 --> 00:23:36,164
Are you a superhero?

340
00:23:36,247 --> 00:23:37,874
Fucking A, sweetie.

341
00:23:37,957 --> 00:23:39,500
What's your name?

342
00:23:39,584 --> 00:23:41,336
Captain Delicious Pants.

343
00:23:41,419 --> 00:23:43,588
Who's Captain Delicious Pants?

344
00:24:08,947 --> 00:24:10,907
I can't believe
he's still alive.

345
00:24:10,990 --> 00:24:13,493
I can't believe you left
the house in that shirt.

346
00:24:14,953 --> 00:24:16,871
There's gotta be
some way to die.

347
00:24:16,955 --> 00:24:18,957
I just need to die harder.

348
00:24:19,040 --> 00:24:20,166
Trademark Fox.

349
00:24:20,333 --> 00:24:21,334
Y'all caught up now?

350
00:24:34,597 --> 00:24:36,182
Open for business.

351
00:24:40,103 --> 00:24:41,854
Your crazy matches my crazy.

352
00:24:42,271 --> 00:24:44,315
I will never, ever
let our child be named Todd.

353
00:24:44,482 --> 00:24:45,566
Skee-Ball token.

354
00:24:45,650 --> 00:24:46,734
You're a lot smarter
than I look.

355
00:24:52,949 --> 00:24:53,992
About why
we're so good together.

356
00:24:54,075 --> 00:24:55,410
I love you, Wade Wilson.

357
00:24:58,079 --> 00:24:59,497
Ness?

358
00:25:00,957 --> 00:25:02,083
Ness?

359
00:25:02,917 --> 00:25:03,918
Ness.

360
00:25:04,544 --> 00:25:07,213
Ness, there's something here.
I can't get to you.

361
00:25:08,923 --> 00:25:11,009
Your heart's not
in the right place.

362
00:25:11,509 --> 00:25:13,344
Wait, hold on. What?

363
00:25:14,178 --> 00:25:16,264
Your heart's not
in the right place.

364
00:25:16,347 --> 00:25:17,390
Wait. What do you mean

365
00:25:17,473 --> 00:25:18,725
my heart's not in the right
place? What does it...

366
00:25:38,953 --> 00:25:41,497
I'm terribly sorry
for your loss, Wade.

367
00:25:41,956 --> 00:25:43,041
You're broken.

368
00:25:43,124 --> 00:25:46,085
Oh, God.
I know that voice.

369
00:26:07,148 --> 00:26:08,566
Well, Russell.

370
00:26:08,649 --> 00:26:11,319
I hear you're handy
at picking locks.

371
00:26:12,695 --> 00:26:14,864
There will be no need
for that here.

372
00:26:14,947 --> 00:26:18,242
There's no locks on our doors,
no bars on our windows.

373
00:26:19,619 --> 00:26:21,621
I know what you're thinking.

374
00:26:21,704 --> 00:26:23,790
Why don't the kids just run?

375
00:26:24,415 --> 00:26:26,959
Who would choose to stay
in such a place?

376
00:26:27,376 --> 00:26:29,420
You stay because...

377
00:26:29,921 --> 00:26:34,634
deep down inside, you know
you're unfit to leave.

378
00:26:38,471 --> 00:26:40,056
Don't worry.

379
00:26:41,224 --> 00:26:42,892
We can fix that.

380
00:26:47,730 --> 00:26:51,484
Blessed are the wicked
who are healed by my hand.

381
00:27:13,464 --> 00:27:15,091
"Heart's in the right place."

382
00:27:15,174 --> 00:27:16,592
"Heart's in the right..."
What does that mean?

383
00:27:16,676 --> 00:27:18,553
Take your mask off, Wade.

384
00:27:18,636 --> 00:27:20,221
I wish you'd said "pants".

385
00:27:20,346 --> 00:27:21,556
Let's play a game.

386
00:27:21,639 --> 00:27:24,100
It's called
"Adrien Brody or Adam Brody?".

387
00:27:24,183 --> 00:27:26,519
Now, close your eyes
and open your mouth.

388
00:27:26,602 --> 00:27:28,437
You don't need to be funny here.

389
00:27:29,021 --> 00:27:30,189
We must talk.

390
00:27:30,314 --> 00:27:32,775
You need fresh start.

391
00:27:32,859 --> 00:27:34,360
Such a glare.

392
00:27:34,443 --> 00:27:36,612
It's like I'm on stage
at the Gaiety.

393
00:27:36,779 --> 00:27:39,240
With training, you can be X-Man.

394
00:27:39,407 --> 00:27:41,492
You're wasting your time,
Shiny Jesus.

395
00:27:41,576 --> 00:27:42,827
I'm not X-Man material.

396
00:27:42,910 --> 00:27:44,495
Understatement of the year.

397
00:27:44,954 --> 00:27:45,955
Wade, Yukio.

398
00:27:46,414 --> 00:27:47,582
Yukio, Wade.

399
00:27:48,374 --> 00:27:50,459
What in the fuck knuckles
is this?

400
00:27:50,543 --> 00:27:52,420
She's my girlfriend,
you intolerant shit.

401
00:27:53,212 --> 00:27:55,006
Pump the hate brakes,
Fox & Friends.

402
00:27:55,089 --> 00:27:56,924
I'm just surprised
anyone would date you.

403
00:27:57,008 --> 00:27:59,302
Especially Pinkie Pie
from My Little Pony.

404
00:27:59,677 --> 00:28:01,012
I like this guy.

405
00:28:01,554 --> 00:28:02,847
Give him a chance.

406
00:28:03,681 --> 00:28:04,682
It's great seeing you like this.

407
00:28:04,807 --> 00:28:06,976
Yeah.

408
00:28:07,435 --> 00:28:08,436
Bye, Wade!

409
00:28:08,811 --> 00:28:11,230
Now, some ground rules
while under our roof.

410
00:28:11,314 --> 00:28:14,066
"Rule number one.
No killing...

411
00:28:14,150 --> 00:28:17,570
"anyone ever, no matter how bad.

412
00:28:17,653 --> 00:28:20,239
"Rule two. Label everything
in refrigerator."

413
00:28:20,323 --> 00:28:21,324
Wade?

414
00:28:22,200 --> 00:28:23,284
Wade?

415
00:28:23,492 --> 00:28:25,244
- Don't try to chase me.
- Wade!

416
00:28:25,369 --> 00:28:27,413
I'm not ready
to be touched again.

417
00:28:27,496 --> 00:28:29,707
All these old guys on the wall.

418
00:28:29,790 --> 00:28:31,876
Who lives here,
Calista Flockhart?

419
00:28:34,086 --> 00:28:36,464
Those were already damaged
after they fell there!

420
00:28:37,131 --> 00:28:38,966
What am I supposed
to do around here, anyway?

421
00:28:39,050 --> 00:28:41,260
Sit in a share circle,
talk about my feelings?

422
00:28:41,344 --> 00:28:43,930
And how would I do that exactly?

423
00:28:44,263 --> 00:28:46,682
'Cause where the fuck
is everyone?

424
00:28:46,766 --> 00:28:47,850
It's always just you

425
00:28:47,934 --> 00:28:49,268
and Negasonic Teenage
Longest Name Ever...

426
00:28:49,352 --> 00:28:50,353
Enough!

427
00:28:50,645 --> 00:28:52,480
I said no touching!

428
00:28:54,232 --> 00:28:56,776
What the fuck?

429
00:28:57,568 --> 00:28:59,695
You'd think the studio
would throw us a bone.

430
00:28:59,779 --> 00:29:01,822
One that doesn't end up
in my mouth.

431
00:29:02,657 --> 00:29:03,783
The first movie made more money

432
00:29:03,866 --> 00:29:06,160
than the guy who invented pants.

433
00:29:06,244 --> 00:29:08,371
They can't just dust off
one of the famous X-Men?

434
00:29:08,454 --> 00:29:10,539
How 'bout that putz
with the giant pigeon wings?

435
00:29:10,623 --> 00:29:11,874
What do those do anyway?

436
00:29:11,958 --> 00:29:13,376
Carry him
three feet off the ground

437
00:29:13,459 --> 00:29:15,378
to snatch up
the nearest muffin crumb?

438
00:29:15,586 --> 00:29:17,713
No, no, no!

439
00:29:17,797 --> 00:29:20,466
I am not X-Man material at all.

440
00:29:20,549 --> 00:29:23,177
First off...

441
00:29:23,261 --> 00:29:25,304
I'm not even a virgin.
Second and more...

442
00:29:27,515 --> 00:29:28,557
I should have left you

443
00:29:28,641 --> 00:29:30,309
in the self-pitying mess
I found you in.

444
00:29:30,393 --> 00:29:33,437
But this is what friends do.
They show up!

445
00:29:33,521 --> 00:29:35,189
Not when convenient or easy.

446
00:29:35,564 --> 00:29:38,943
When hard,
and you always make it hard.

447
00:29:39,944 --> 00:29:42,363
You are unwell.

448
00:29:42,446 --> 00:29:44,532
I'm sticking my neck out
bringing you here.

449
00:29:44,615 --> 00:29:46,450
Wait.
One of the assholes

450
00:29:46,534 --> 00:29:48,035
who killed Vanessa got away.

451
00:29:50,621 --> 00:29:52,623
Jesus Christ!

452
00:29:52,832 --> 00:29:54,667
I thought you were gonna
kiss me for a second there.

453
00:29:54,750 --> 00:29:56,627
Please know I wouldn't be
able to stop you if you did.

454
00:29:56,711 --> 00:29:58,713
Wade, whoever they are...

455
00:29:58,796 --> 00:30:01,132
we track them down
and bring them to justice.

456
00:30:01,716 --> 00:30:03,134
It was me.

457
00:30:05,970 --> 00:30:07,555
I'm the asshole who got away.

458
00:30:08,681 --> 00:30:11,309
I killed every last one
of them, except me.

459
00:30:11,851 --> 00:30:13,561
Couldn't kill me.

460
00:30:16,689 --> 00:30:18,691
We were gonna start a family.

461
00:30:20,484 --> 00:30:22,403
We were...

462
00:30:23,696 --> 00:30:25,406
We were gonna be a family.

463
00:30:26,198 --> 00:30:27,199
Wade...

464
00:30:27,366 --> 00:30:30,161
Vanessa is gone.
She's not coming back.

465
00:30:31,746 --> 00:30:34,040
This may not be
family you want...

466
00:30:34,123 --> 00:30:36,125
but it's family you need.

467
00:30:36,584 --> 00:30:37,835
You have a good heart.

468
00:30:37,918 --> 00:30:39,462
It belongs here
where it can grow.

469
00:30:41,255 --> 00:30:42,256
What did you say?

470
00:30:44,300 --> 00:30:45,634
About my heart?

471
00:30:51,057 --> 00:30:53,059
I think I'm in the right place.

472
00:32:00,876 --> 00:32:03,629
I'mma tell you
what the big lie is.

473
00:32:03,712 --> 00:32:05,297
Toilet paper.

474
00:32:05,381 --> 00:32:06,757
What's so bad
about toilet paper?

475
00:32:06,841 --> 00:32:08,008
Gets the job done.

476
00:32:08,092 --> 00:32:10,928
Does it really get the job done?

477
00:32:11,011 --> 00:32:13,180
All right. Say you wake up
tomorrow morning...

478
00:32:13,264 --> 00:32:17,935
and, hypothetically, find some
fresh shit on your face.

479
00:32:18,018 --> 00:32:19,687
Your cheek, maybe
a little bit in the beard.

480
00:32:19,770 --> 00:32:21,397
What the hell?
I'm about to be fucking sick!

481
00:32:21,480 --> 00:32:22,523
What do you do?

482
00:32:22,606 --> 00:32:23,899
Do you go to a bathroom

483
00:32:23,983 --> 00:32:25,609
and tear off
a piece of dry tissue...

484
00:32:25,693 --> 00:32:27,528
and rub it around
on your beard a little bit

485
00:32:27,611 --> 00:32:29,155
and then go on,
get on with your day?

486
00:32:29,238 --> 00:32:30,823
Go to church,
maybe dinner and a movie,

487
00:32:30,906 --> 00:32:31,991
like nothing happened?

488
00:32:32,074 --> 00:32:33,409
Where is this coming from, man?

489
00:32:33,492 --> 00:32:34,702
But something did happen.

490
00:32:34,785 --> 00:32:36,203
Your face smells like shit.
Right?

491
00:32:36,287 --> 00:32:37,830
So what you would do,

492
00:32:37,913 --> 00:32:40,124
is you would get some soap,
you'd get some hot water...

493
00:32:40,207 --> 00:32:42,501
and you would scrub
the fucking shit

494
00:32:42,585 --> 00:32:44,545
out of your beard
for 10 straight minutes.

495
00:32:44,628 --> 00:32:46,297
You could not scrub it enough.

496
00:32:46,380 --> 00:32:48,007
Are you trying
to make me feel disgusting?

497
00:32:48,090 --> 00:32:49,258
I'm starting to feel...

498
00:32:49,341 --> 00:32:52,011
Toilet paper is
a plenty fine appetizer.

499
00:32:52,094 --> 00:32:54,180
But, then...

500
00:32:54,430 --> 00:32:56,724
Huggies Natural Care wet wipes.

501
00:32:56,807 --> 00:32:58,142
That's your main course.

502
00:32:58,225 --> 00:33:01,353
They're soft, they're moist.
They're for babies.

503
00:33:02,188 --> 00:33:04,940
Finally, one more pass
with toilet paper,

504
00:33:05,024 --> 00:33:06,901
maybe clear out
that excess moisture.

505
00:33:06,984 --> 00:33:08,569
Maybe treat yourself
to a blow and go,

506
00:33:08,652 --> 00:33:09,945
if you can get you a hair dryer.

507
00:33:10,029 --> 00:33:12,364
Just about 30 seconds
would do you good.

508
00:33:16,076 --> 00:33:17,077
The fuck?

509
00:33:18,329 --> 00:33:19,371
Year.

510
00:33:20,372 --> 00:33:21,373
What?

511
00:33:22,583 --> 00:33:24,210
What year is it?

512
00:33:24,293 --> 00:33:26,754
What kind of dumb-ass question
is that to ask?

513
00:33:57,493 --> 00:34:00,246
We have 8 weeks
of boot camp ahead of us, men.

514
00:34:00,329 --> 00:34:01,622
That'll get us
toned and prepared

515
00:34:01,705 --> 00:34:03,290
for all manner of combat.

516
00:34:05,376 --> 00:34:09,380
Not working out at all.

517
00:34:09,630 --> 00:34:11,257
Masking tape.

518
00:34:11,340 --> 00:34:13,676
It is no friend
to chilled aluminum.

519
00:34:14,760 --> 00:34:16,720
Velcro.
Color-coded, efficient,

520
00:34:16,804 --> 00:34:17,888
environmentally friendly.

521
00:34:18,639 --> 00:34:20,182
Who is he talking to?

522
00:34:20,266 --> 00:34:21,892
And why is he dressed like
a registered sex offender?

523
00:34:21,976 --> 00:34:23,936
Can we focus
for a moment, ladies?

524
00:34:24,019 --> 00:34:26,272
Please, we need to talk about
next month's meal plan.

525
00:34:26,355 --> 00:34:28,107
Obviously,
everyone hated the ceviche.

526
00:34:28,190 --> 00:34:29,483
I read the suggestion box.

527
00:34:29,567 --> 00:34:31,151
I'm gonna stop you right there.

528
00:34:31,235 --> 00:34:33,028
I see through this weak act.

529
00:34:33,279 --> 00:34:37,491
You may have fooled Colossus
with this nice guy shit...

530
00:34:37,658 --> 00:34:38,826
but not me.

531
00:34:38,909 --> 00:34:39,952
Don't be mean.

532
00:34:40,035 --> 00:34:41,328
Back off, NTW.

533
00:34:41,412 --> 00:34:43,581
No, no, no. Let her go.

534
00:34:43,664 --> 00:34:44,790
Let her go, it's okay.

535
00:34:44,873 --> 00:34:46,417
She has a right to be skeptical.

536
00:34:46,500 --> 00:34:49,128
Look at me.
I'm an easy target.

537
00:34:50,296 --> 00:34:51,630
You know, historically,

538
00:34:51,714 --> 00:34:53,591
mischief has been my mistress...

539
00:34:53,674 --> 00:34:56,343
so I understand, you know.
But I like to think...

540
00:34:57,970 --> 00:34:59,930
that you guys have
really rubbed off on me.

541
00:35:01,307 --> 00:35:03,309
I like to think that I've
rubbed off around you, too.

542
00:35:05,352 --> 00:35:06,353
A lot.

543
00:35:07,354 --> 00:35:09,982
And for the first time
in a long while...

544
00:35:10,065 --> 00:35:11,233
I like me.

545
00:35:13,444 --> 00:35:15,946
- I accept your apology.
- I never apologized.

546
00:35:16,030 --> 00:35:17,531
I was talking to your heart.

547
00:35:17,615 --> 00:35:19,992
See? You're not
lost cause you thought.

548
00:35:20,075 --> 00:35:23,245
I'm proud. You're everything
I knew you can be.

549
00:35:23,329 --> 00:35:24,622
Thank you, Colossus.

550
00:35:25,372 --> 00:35:26,957
Just trying to be
the world's best X-Man.

551
00:35:27,041 --> 00:35:28,459
Sorry, X-Person.

552
00:35:30,044 --> 00:35:32,671
Something wrong with the soap.

553
00:35:32,755 --> 00:35:34,340
It's fine.

554
00:35:34,423 --> 00:35:36,634
I just filled it. Give it
a few more pumps there.

555
00:35:37,843 --> 00:35:40,304
Now, if you'll excuse me...

556
00:35:40,387 --> 00:35:42,139
it's dust bunny season...

557
00:35:42,222 --> 00:35:43,223
and I'm hunting wabbits.

558
00:35:43,932 --> 00:35:45,059
Bye, Wade!

559
00:35:47,227 --> 00:35:49,772
Fuck.
Fuck you.

560
00:36:01,450 --> 00:36:03,994
No one is born perfect.

561
00:36:04,078 --> 00:36:06,038
But you can be.

562
00:36:06,121 --> 00:36:08,457
I know you're doing
what comes naturally.

563
00:36:12,753 --> 00:36:14,588
You can't help yourself.

564
00:36:18,467 --> 00:36:19,927
But you can.

565
00:36:20,594 --> 00:36:23,263
It takes work, discipline...

566
00:36:23,722 --> 00:36:24,932
and treatment.

567
00:36:25,015 --> 00:36:26,684
Your abilities...

568
00:36:28,644 --> 00:36:30,646
I know how seductive they are.

569
00:36:31,480 --> 00:36:33,649
How powerful they make you feel.

570
00:36:34,650 --> 00:36:37,152
But you must learn
never to use them...

571
00:36:37,236 --> 00:36:39,822
so they will never use you.

572
00:36:46,078 --> 00:36:47,663
Please don't cry.

573
00:36:48,497 --> 00:36:50,082
I'm going to help.

574
00:36:50,165 --> 00:36:53,001
I'm gonna make you feel
what you should feel.

575
00:36:53,377 --> 00:36:54,795
How you need to feel...

576
00:36:55,921 --> 00:36:58,465
every time you're tempted
to act upon your urges.

577
00:36:59,341 --> 00:37:03,262
Suck my mutant dick,
you four-eyed fuck.

578
00:37:17,735 --> 00:37:18,944
Wade.

579
00:37:19,862 --> 00:37:20,863
Wade!

580
00:37:21,488 --> 00:37:23,532
Come in!
Hey, I was just doing

581
00:37:23,615 --> 00:37:25,159
a little bit
of light reading here...

582
00:37:25,576 --> 00:37:26,910
We have mission.

583
00:37:27,035 --> 00:37:28,537
Well, you guys be
safe out there.

584
00:37:28,620 --> 00:37:29,830
I'll be praying for you.

585
00:37:29,913 --> 00:37:32,332
No, I want you to join.

586
00:37:33,542 --> 00:37:34,668
I'm sorry, what?

587
00:37:34,752 --> 00:37:36,336
You heard me.

588
00:37:36,420 --> 00:37:38,672
Trust me,
that's a terrible idea.

589
00:37:38,839 --> 00:37:39,882
I'm really not ready.

590
00:37:39,965 --> 00:37:41,467
- You are ready.
- I'm not.

591
00:37:41,717 --> 00:37:43,469
Be at the X-Jet in five.

592
00:37:43,635 --> 00:37:44,762
I can do thirty.

593
00:37:44,845 --> 00:37:46,764
- Now.
- I can do now.

594
00:37:46,847 --> 00:37:47,890
Final offer.

595
00:37:48,140 --> 00:37:50,642
Irene Merryweather, WHIT News.

596
00:37:50,726 --> 00:37:52,686
Live here
at a breaking news situation

597
00:37:52,770 --> 00:37:55,397
at the Essex House
for Mutant Rehabilitation.

598
00:37:55,481 --> 00:37:57,399
A mutant boy
is appearing to have

599
00:37:57,483 --> 00:37:58,692
some sort of an incident...

600
00:37:58,776 --> 00:38:00,444
- with police here behind me.
- Get away from me!

601
00:38:00,527 --> 00:38:02,905
There are two police vehicles
that are overturned.

602
00:38:02,988 --> 00:38:04,406
- There are open fires.
- Fuck off! Stay back!

603
00:38:04,490 --> 00:38:05,491
A scene of absolute chaos here.

604
00:38:05,574 --> 00:38:06,575
Calm down.

605
00:38:06,658 --> 00:38:09,369
I'll burn you!
You stay back!

606
00:38:10,078 --> 00:38:11,830
Get away from me!

607
00:38:11,914 --> 00:38:14,416
You wanna fucking die?

608
00:38:29,431 --> 00:38:32,601
And it appears as if the X-Men
are arriving...

609
00:38:32,684 --> 00:38:33,685
Scatter!

610
00:38:34,269 --> 00:38:36,230
...with what appears
to be a trainee.

611
00:38:36,313 --> 00:38:39,274
Everyone, calm down!
The pros are here. I...

612
00:38:39,358 --> 00:38:40,442
We're the X-Men!

613
00:38:40,526 --> 00:38:42,736
A dated metaphor for racism
in the '60s.

614
00:38:43,153 --> 00:38:45,322
So, respect.

615
00:38:45,697 --> 00:38:46,949
At ease, Officer.

616
00:38:48,534 --> 00:38:50,077
What are you doing?

617
00:38:50,536 --> 00:38:51,787
My job!

618
00:38:51,870 --> 00:38:53,247
You're the one who said
I was ready,

619
00:38:53,330 --> 00:38:54,790
and I frankly disagreed
with you.

620
00:38:54,873 --> 00:38:57,251
But here we are, trying to
overcome our differences.

621
00:38:57,334 --> 00:38:59,753
Like Beyoncé says, "Please...

622
00:39:00,587 --> 00:39:01,922
"Please, stop cheating on me."

623
00:39:02,005 --> 00:39:03,090
Hey!

624
00:39:03,173 --> 00:39:04,508
This is the fifth incident.

625
00:39:04,591 --> 00:39:06,760
This kid needs to be
in the Ice Box, not here.

626
00:39:06,844 --> 00:39:08,470
Russell belongs in our care.

627
00:39:08,554 --> 00:39:10,305
Not in prison.
I assure you...

628
00:39:10,389 --> 00:39:11,473
we have everything
under control.

629
00:39:11,557 --> 00:39:12,599
Stay back!
I'll burn you!

630
00:39:12,683 --> 00:39:13,851
Not getting a real

631
00:39:13,934 --> 00:39:15,602
"under control"
vibe here, Marty.

632
00:39:16,061 --> 00:39:18,063
- It is Glen, isn't it?
- Daniel.

633
00:39:18,146 --> 00:39:19,356
I'll ask the questions, Miguel.

634
00:39:19,439 --> 00:39:20,732
Let me talk to the kid.

635
00:39:20,816 --> 00:39:25,654
You stay here with your weird,
secret sex lips.

636
00:39:27,406 --> 00:39:28,407
You wanna die?

637
00:39:28,490 --> 00:39:29,491
This kid's adorable.

638
00:39:29,575 --> 00:39:30,659
I don't know why I packed
the hollow points.

639
00:39:30,742 --> 00:39:31,869
I'll burn your balls off!

640
00:39:31,952 --> 00:39:34,580
First day.
I'm so nervous!

641
00:39:35,372 --> 00:39:36,874
Did you just say
"hollow points"?

642
00:39:36,957 --> 00:39:38,292
Yeah, probably should've

643
00:39:38,375 --> 00:39:40,419
brought a Super Soaker.

644
00:39:40,961 --> 00:39:41,962
Hi, there!

645
00:39:43,255 --> 00:39:45,716
Stay back or Justin Bieber dies!

646
00:39:45,799 --> 00:39:49,303
Justin Bieber.
He called you Justin Bieber.

647
00:39:50,679 --> 00:39:52,306
Hold on! Wait, wait, wait!

648
00:39:52,389 --> 00:39:55,475
Okay, let's not do
whatever that is.

649
00:39:55,559 --> 00:39:57,019
Okay? Let's just talk!

650
00:39:57,102 --> 00:39:58,353
It's Russell, right?

651
00:39:58,770 --> 00:40:00,606
- Firefist.
- Firefist.

652
00:40:01,064 --> 00:40:03,275
That's a great name.
Where does it burn?

653
00:40:03,358 --> 00:40:04,776
Just the fist, or all the way
up to the elbow?

654
00:40:09,823 --> 00:40:12,451
Definitely all
the way up to the elbow.

655
00:40:12,534 --> 00:40:14,536
Come quietly,
or there will be trouble.

656
00:40:15,412 --> 00:40:17,748
- You stole that from Robocop!
- That's from Robocop!

657
00:40:18,248 --> 00:40:19,833
Just stand down!

658
00:40:19,917 --> 00:40:21,960
You're embarrassing me.
Look, Fire...

659
00:40:23,378 --> 00:40:25,672
Oh, my God! I can't say it!
I'm so sorry!

660
00:40:30,427 --> 00:40:33,972
Shit!
That fucking does it!

661
00:40:34,473 --> 00:40:35,807
Put your hands behind your knees

662
00:40:35,891 --> 00:40:37,351
and get down
on your head! Now!

663
00:40:37,434 --> 00:40:39,645
Wade! What was first rule?

664
00:40:39,728 --> 00:40:41,647
Label everything
in the refrigerator!

665
00:40:41,730 --> 00:40:44,316
- Do not escalate!
- Rules are meant to be broken!

666
00:40:44,399 --> 00:40:45,776
That's the exact opposite

667
00:40:45,859 --> 00:40:47,235
of what they're meant for!

668
00:40:48,236 --> 00:40:49,696
Fuck! Fine!

669
00:40:50,238 --> 00:40:51,281
I'll start from the beginning.

670
00:40:51,907 --> 00:40:54,242
My name is Deadpool,
and I'm an X-Man.

671
00:40:54,326 --> 00:40:56,286
- Trainee!
- Shut it!

672
00:40:57,204 --> 00:40:59,498
Look, I get it.

673
00:41:00,666 --> 00:41:02,292
All right, you're scared.

674
00:41:02,834 --> 00:41:03,877
Alone.

675
00:41:03,961 --> 00:41:05,003
You got no family.

676
00:41:05,087 --> 00:41:06,088
I didn't have a family, either.

677
00:41:06,171 --> 00:41:07,881
You live in this dump.
Guess what?

678
00:41:07,965 --> 00:41:09,675
I used to live in a shithole
just like it.

679
00:41:10,592 --> 00:41:11,885
But you know something?

680
00:41:11,969 --> 00:41:13,679
A wise woman once said to me...

681
00:41:13,762 --> 00:41:15,138
"Speak up.

682
00:41:15,222 --> 00:41:17,432
"I can't hear you with that
pity dick in your mouth."

683
00:41:18,141 --> 00:41:19,726
Too much? I went too far.

684
00:41:27,734 --> 00:41:29,236
That was effervescent.

685
00:41:29,319 --> 00:41:31,238
Stay in school, kid.

686
00:41:31,613 --> 00:41:33,115
Or don't. I didn't.

687
00:41:33,490 --> 00:41:35,033
And I'm an X-Man.

688
00:41:35,117 --> 00:41:36,201
Trainee.

689
00:41:36,284 --> 00:41:37,619
Fuck it!

690
00:41:37,703 --> 00:41:39,454
Superhero landing coming up!

691
00:41:43,041 --> 00:41:44,668
Fuck, fuck, fuck!

692
00:41:44,751 --> 00:41:46,586
That is so not practical.

693
00:42:07,357 --> 00:42:09,359
I could get used
to this X-Man shit.

694
00:42:09,443 --> 00:42:10,444
Trainee!

695
00:42:10,527 --> 00:42:11,570
Trainee!

696
00:42:12,195 --> 00:42:13,697
Get a power restraint
on him. Now!

697
00:42:13,780 --> 00:42:16,992
Calm down, squirt.
It's over. We got ya.

698
00:42:18,869 --> 00:42:20,370
What's that do?

699
00:42:20,454 --> 00:42:21,913
Power-dampening collar.

700
00:42:21,997 --> 00:42:23,248
Shuts down all mutant abilities.

701
00:42:23,373 --> 00:42:26,126
You can't get it off.
Unless you've got a grenade.

702
00:42:26,209 --> 00:42:29,171
Could've used
one of those in the first act.

703
00:42:29,254 --> 00:42:30,505
Thank you!

704
00:42:32,340 --> 00:42:34,551
That was absolutely thrilling.

705
00:42:34,634 --> 00:42:36,636
True heroism in action.

706
00:42:36,887 --> 00:42:38,555
We are in your debt.

707
00:42:39,347 --> 00:42:40,974
We can take it from here.

708
00:42:41,058 --> 00:42:43,226
Take me to the Ice Box, please!

709
00:42:43,310 --> 00:42:44,478
Anywhere's better than here.

710
00:42:44,561 --> 00:42:45,771
Believe me, son,

711
00:42:45,854 --> 00:42:47,564
you do not wanna go
to the Ice Box.

712
00:42:47,647 --> 00:42:50,150
That place makes Hitler's anus
look like Waikiki.

713
00:42:50,275 --> 00:42:52,110
Let's get you inside, young man.

714
00:42:52,194 --> 00:42:54,154
No, wait, wait. Wait.

715
00:42:54,237 --> 00:42:55,739
You guys stay there.

716
00:43:05,832 --> 00:43:07,459
Those guys hurt you?

717
00:43:08,877 --> 00:43:09,920
Who?

718
00:43:11,963 --> 00:43:14,674
Baldilocks? Jared Kushner?

719
00:43:16,134 --> 00:43:17,636
Both of 'em?

720
00:43:21,348 --> 00:43:23,016
Fuck it.

721
00:43:23,100 --> 00:43:24,643
Four or five moments!

722
00:43:24,726 --> 00:43:25,727
I'm sorry?

723
00:43:25,811 --> 00:43:28,980
Four or five moments!

724
00:43:30,232 --> 00:43:32,984
That's all it takes
to be a hero.

725
00:43:34,027 --> 00:43:36,029
People think
you wake up a hero...

726
00:43:36,363 --> 00:43:37,989
brush your teeth a hero...

727
00:43:38,573 --> 00:43:41,076
ejaculate into
a soap dispenser a hero.

728
00:43:42,869 --> 00:43:46,623
But, no, being a hero
takes only a few moments!

729
00:43:47,958 --> 00:43:49,584
A few moments...

730
00:43:49,668 --> 00:43:52,295
doing the ugly stuff
no one else will do.

731
00:43:55,841 --> 00:43:56,967
No!

732
00:43:59,636 --> 00:44:00,846
Stand down!
Hold your fire!

733
00:44:00,929 --> 00:44:03,223
- Wade, what did you do?
- Colossus, no!

734
00:44:03,306 --> 00:44:06,560
You were right, Wade.
You are not X-Men material.

735
00:44:06,643 --> 00:44:08,895
No shit, Shiny Gandhi!

736
00:44:08,979 --> 00:44:10,438
What was your first clue?

737
00:44:10,522 --> 00:44:13,316
The hollow point
through that fuckhead's face?

738
00:44:13,692 --> 00:44:14,943
That kid was abused!

739
00:44:15,026 --> 00:44:16,820
- You can always tell!
- We have rules!

740
00:44:17,112 --> 00:44:19,823
You are not judge,
jury or executioner!

741
00:44:19,906 --> 00:44:22,826
Fuck your rules!
I fight for what's right!

742
00:44:22,909 --> 00:44:24,494
And sometimes
you gotta fight dirty!

743
00:44:24,786 --> 00:44:27,831
You let me down
for the last time, Wade.

744
00:44:30,959 --> 00:44:33,211
Okay, get these guys in the pod.

745
00:44:33,295 --> 00:44:35,463
Take them to the Ice Box.

746
00:44:56,109 --> 00:44:57,110
Hey, baby!

747
00:44:58,195 --> 00:45:00,405
I wonder what gang I'll be in.

748
00:45:00,488 --> 00:45:01,865
Yeah!

749
00:45:02,032 --> 00:45:04,284
- Is there, like, a Sorting Hat?
- Hi.

750
00:45:06,161 --> 00:45:07,537
I've always seen myself as

751
00:45:07,621 --> 00:45:08,997
more of
an East Coast Hufflepuff.

752
00:45:10,498 --> 00:45:13,460
I've made a critical error
on my Airbnb reservation.

753
00:45:13,543 --> 00:45:17,380
This is not what the website
looked like at all.

754
00:45:18,965 --> 00:45:20,675
I love the decor though.

755
00:45:20,759 --> 00:45:22,677
I had no idea
hopeless was a color.

756
00:45:22,761 --> 00:45:24,012
Hard left, douchebag.

757
00:45:28,516 --> 00:45:29,684
Please, after you.

758
00:45:31,895 --> 00:45:34,564
Another disgusting minority
off the streets.

759
00:45:34,648 --> 00:45:35,732
We'll sleep well tonight.

760
00:45:35,815 --> 00:45:36,816
Let's get a bagel.

761
00:45:40,111 --> 00:45:42,948
Nighty-night,
you annoying prick!

762
00:46:18,733 --> 00:46:20,568
You're a long way
from your superpowers.

763
00:46:20,652 --> 00:46:23,029
Yeah. Just a touch of cancer.

764
00:46:23,113 --> 00:46:25,573
Not to worry, we're old friends.

765
00:46:25,657 --> 00:46:26,825
Fuck!

766
00:46:26,908 --> 00:46:28,576
I wanted to be a superhero.

767
00:46:29,119 --> 00:46:31,037
Always wanted a real super suit.

768
00:46:31,121 --> 00:46:32,664
What happened?

769
00:46:32,747 --> 00:46:34,791
When was the last time you saw
a plus-sized superhero?

770
00:46:35,500 --> 00:46:36,668
Never.

771
00:46:37,043 --> 00:46:38,837
The industry discriminates.

772
00:46:39,921 --> 00:46:41,464
Fuck superheroes.

773
00:46:42,048 --> 00:46:44,259
The thing that
pisses me off the most...

774
00:46:44,342 --> 00:46:46,177
I never stood up
for myself in there.

775
00:46:47,804 --> 00:46:49,597
My whole life.

776
00:46:50,765 --> 00:46:54,227
I've been waiting for someone
to come and save me.

777
00:46:56,646 --> 00:46:59,607
Nobody's gonna sacrifice
anything for me.

778
00:47:03,737 --> 00:47:05,989
I gotta start taking care
of myself.

779
00:47:07,324 --> 00:47:09,159
I have a mission now.

780
00:47:10,118 --> 00:47:12,746
The first thing I wanna do
when I get out of here...

781
00:47:12,829 --> 00:47:15,123
burn the headmaster alive...

782
00:47:15,206 --> 00:47:17,792
and then take a selfie
with his smoldering corpse.

783
00:47:18,960 --> 00:47:21,379
That's, like,
my favorite part of the Bible.

784
00:47:23,131 --> 00:47:25,050
I don't have
a sock puppet on me...

785
00:47:25,675 --> 00:47:27,135
but what did he do to you?

786
00:47:27,761 --> 00:47:29,304
Did he taste the rainbow?

787
00:47:29,387 --> 00:47:31,431
I'd whisper it,
but Skittles would sue us.

788
00:47:32,599 --> 00:47:34,225
Fucker hates mutants.

789
00:47:34,684 --> 00:47:36,561
He tried to beat
the genes out of us.

790
00:47:36,644 --> 00:47:39,189
Nothing worse than a "pray
the gay away" type guy.

791
00:47:39,981 --> 00:47:41,358
Sick piece of shit.

792
00:47:42,776 --> 00:47:46,446
Tomorrow, we'll find
the biggest guy in here...

793
00:47:47,405 --> 00:47:49,074
and we'll make him our bitch!

794
00:47:53,036 --> 00:47:54,329
What was that?

795
00:47:54,412 --> 00:47:56,373
That is the biggest guy in here.

796
00:47:57,040 --> 00:47:59,084
Fun fact about the Ice Box...

797
00:47:59,167 --> 00:48:00,960
though no one's ever seen it,

798
00:48:01,044 --> 00:48:03,213
they keep a monster
in the basement.

799
00:48:03,296 --> 00:48:05,006
Right next to a huge,

800
00:48:05,090 --> 00:48:06,633
steaming bowl of foreshadowing.

801
00:48:07,258 --> 00:48:08,259
Look.

802
00:48:09,260 --> 00:48:11,179
I can't protect you.

803
00:48:11,554 --> 00:48:12,680
With this collar on,

804
00:48:12,764 --> 00:48:15,850
my superpower
is just unbridled cancer.

805
00:48:15,934 --> 00:48:18,812
Give me a bow and arrow,
I'm basically Hawkeye.

806
00:48:19,437 --> 00:48:21,481
Now, if you'll excuse me...

807
00:48:21,564 --> 00:48:24,734
I've got tumors to grow.
Vanessa awaits.

808
00:48:24,818 --> 00:48:27,070
I'll start by making us a shank.

809
00:48:27,320 --> 00:48:29,197
Good listening.
I stole that guard's pen...

810
00:48:29,280 --> 00:48:31,199
and stashed it
in the old prison wallet,

811
00:48:31,282 --> 00:48:32,659
if you know what I'm saying.

812
00:48:32,742 --> 00:48:35,203
I really hope I don't know
what you're saying.

813
00:48:37,288 --> 00:48:39,582
I know it's in there,
I just need to get it out.

814
00:48:39,666 --> 00:48:41,584
Jesus Christ.

815
00:48:41,835 --> 00:48:44,087
I can hear you
rummaging around in there.

816
00:48:44,504 --> 00:48:46,631
Do they make Purell
for your ears?

817
00:48:51,428 --> 00:48:52,762
And to update you

818
00:48:52,846 --> 00:48:54,180
on the story reported earlier,

819
00:48:54,264 --> 00:48:55,807
after a lengthy standoff

820
00:48:55,890 --> 00:48:58,560
outside the Essex House
for Mutant Rehabilitation...

821
00:48:58,643 --> 00:48:59,936
two mutants were arrested

822
00:49:00,019 --> 00:49:01,646
and transported
to the Ice Box...

823
00:49:01,813 --> 00:49:03,189
Entering repair mode.

824
00:49:07,610 --> 00:49:08,987
...several
police cars were destroyed

825
00:49:09,070 --> 00:49:11,072
and the X-Men were called in
to restore order.

826
00:49:32,302 --> 00:49:34,262
Cells seven and nine

827
00:49:34,345 --> 00:49:37,682
now off-limits
for medical personnel.

828
00:49:37,765 --> 00:49:39,225
Cells seven and nine

829
00:49:39,309 --> 00:49:42,061
now off-limits
for medical personnel.

830
00:49:47,484 --> 00:49:49,319
Don't do that.

831
00:49:49,903 --> 00:49:52,739
What? Why are you
winking at me?

832
00:49:56,367 --> 00:49:57,744
I got your back.

833
00:49:57,827 --> 00:49:58,995
Oh, my God.

834
00:49:59,078 --> 00:50:00,538
You're sick,
I gotta protect you.

835
00:50:00,622 --> 00:50:02,540
Just leave me alone, kid.

836
00:50:03,666 --> 00:50:04,751
Great.

837
00:50:06,586 --> 00:50:09,088
Well, hello there, new fish.

838
00:50:09,172 --> 00:50:12,091
It's nice to see some
fresh faces around here.

839
00:50:12,258 --> 00:50:14,469
I've done some
light catalog work...

840
00:50:14,552 --> 00:50:17,013
but, really, modeling is just
a stepping stone to acting.

841
00:50:17,096 --> 00:50:19,015
I was talking to him.

842
00:50:19,933 --> 00:50:22,936
Have we met?
I can't place your mustache.

843
00:50:23,353 --> 00:50:25,980
- Black Tom Cassidy.
- White Wade Wilson.

844
00:50:26,064 --> 00:50:29,192
What's your superpower?
Cultural appropriation?

845
00:50:29,526 --> 00:50:32,070
You're supposed to be
the toughest cunt in here.

846
00:50:32,153 --> 00:50:33,821
You don't look like much to me.

847
00:50:34,739 --> 00:50:37,158
First rule of the yard,
fuckface...

848
00:50:37,242 --> 00:50:38,826
find the biggest guy
and make him your...

849
00:50:43,122 --> 00:50:45,291
Second biggest guy.

850
00:50:45,375 --> 00:50:47,627
The last thing I need
is more hepatitis.

851
00:50:47,877 --> 00:50:51,381
It's slippery, too.
This table needs a wipe down!

852
00:50:51,464 --> 00:50:52,799
Can we get a wipe down
on the table?

853
00:50:54,592 --> 00:50:56,219
Kid, I think you picked
the wrong side.

854
00:50:56,886 --> 00:50:59,180
No, I didn't!
He's my friend!

855
00:50:59,264 --> 00:51:01,516
Zip it. We're not friends.

856
00:51:03,226 --> 00:51:04,310
You're about to get
dick-slapped.

857
00:51:16,864 --> 00:51:18,575
I had so much fun!
You were like...

858
00:51:18,658 --> 00:51:20,702
And I was like,
"Take a seat, shit dick."

859
00:51:20,785 --> 00:51:21,911
Just let me die in peace.

860
00:51:22,579 --> 00:51:24,330
We make a great team!

861
00:51:24,747 --> 00:51:27,292
Oh, God! We're not a team.

862
00:51:27,375 --> 00:51:31,671
Why'd you say that back there?
We're friends, partners.

863
00:51:31,754 --> 00:51:34,173
We're not partners or friends.

864
00:51:35,592 --> 00:51:37,635
This doesn't end with us
riding into the sunset.

865
00:51:37,719 --> 00:51:39,887
It ends with me
dying of cancer...

866
00:51:39,971 --> 00:51:43,516
and you winning the Ice Box
award for softest mouth.

867
00:51:45,268 --> 00:51:46,811
There's only one person
in this world

868
00:51:46,894 --> 00:51:48,688
that I care about,
and she's gone.

869
00:51:50,481 --> 00:51:52,483
You wanna survive?

870
00:51:53,693 --> 00:51:56,988
Stop trying to shank
the biggest guys in here...

871
00:51:57,071 --> 00:51:58,948
and make friends with them.

872
00:52:00,241 --> 00:52:01,826
Make friends with someone.

873
00:52:03,077 --> 00:52:04,662
Anyone but me.

874
00:52:05,830 --> 00:52:08,166
Maybe even Black Tim.

875
00:52:09,083 --> 00:52:10,627
Black Evan, I don't know.

876
00:52:10,710 --> 00:52:13,212
All I remember is
he was African-American.

877
00:52:58,675 --> 00:53:00,718
System malfunctioning.

878
00:53:00,802 --> 00:53:04,138
Cells 7, 12, 14, 27.

879
00:53:04,222 --> 00:53:06,432
Back in your cells, you filthy
mutants! Get in there!

880
00:53:06,516 --> 00:53:09,811
Cells 1, 3, 7, 8.

881
00:53:11,020 --> 00:53:12,397
Searching.

882
00:53:13,940 --> 00:53:16,317
Cell 04 located.

883
00:53:17,694 --> 00:53:19,320
Door won't open!

884
00:53:19,862 --> 00:53:21,489
On your fucking knees!

885
00:53:58,443 --> 00:54:00,153
That was our cell.

886
00:54:02,280 --> 00:54:04,532
What did I do to piss off
a grumpy old fucker

887
00:54:04,615 --> 00:54:05,783
with a Winter Soldier arm?

888
00:54:15,042 --> 00:54:16,961
Get away from me, kid!

889
00:54:24,594 --> 00:54:25,803
Listen to me! Go!

890
00:54:31,309 --> 00:54:32,602
Hello, Russell.

891
00:55:56,018 --> 00:55:58,062
I don't bargain.

892
00:56:16,205 --> 00:56:17,206
Who are you?

893
00:56:18,082 --> 00:56:19,333
I'm Batman.

894
00:56:36,559 --> 00:56:39,437
That's got some zip.

895
00:56:47,945 --> 00:56:50,740
Don't feel bad.
Even I can't kill me.

896
00:56:51,449 --> 00:56:52,491
Talk!

897
00:56:53,034 --> 00:56:54,785
What kind of
spineless shit stick

898
00:56:54,869 --> 00:56:56,245
tries to kill a 14-year-old boy?

899
00:56:57,538 --> 00:56:58,706
You might wanna start talking!

900
00:56:58,789 --> 00:57:01,208
'Cause I got a long history of
firing at times like this!

901
00:57:02,710 --> 00:57:04,211
The name's Cable.

902
00:57:04,754 --> 00:57:07,423
I'm from the future.
Just walk away.

903
00:57:09,467 --> 00:57:10,927
So, you're from the future.

904
00:57:11,469 --> 00:57:13,304
I have three questions then.

905
00:57:13,471 --> 00:57:16,641
One, is dubstep still a thing?

906
00:57:17,099 --> 00:57:19,560
Two, do people still homebrew?

907
00:57:19,644 --> 00:57:22,229
And three,
does Dopinder ever find love?

908
00:58:06,399 --> 00:58:08,109
Dubstep's for pussies.

909
00:58:08,192 --> 00:58:09,360
You're so dark!

910
00:58:09,443 --> 00:58:11,654
Are you sure you're not
from the DC universe?

911
00:58:12,405 --> 00:58:13,906
I love dubstep!

912
00:58:40,224 --> 00:58:41,642
Is that a fanny pack?

913
00:58:41,726 --> 00:58:44,311
I used to have one of those
in 1990-never.

914
00:58:45,271 --> 00:58:47,356
Something to remember you by.

915
00:58:47,440 --> 00:58:51,152
Give me that back!
That goes with me everywhere.

916
00:58:51,235 --> 00:58:53,612
Like the memory
of your fucking fanny pack!

917
00:59:03,330 --> 00:59:05,416
Why are you protecting the kid?

918
00:59:06,751 --> 00:59:08,669
I don't give a fuck about him...

919
00:59:09,086 --> 00:59:11,505
and his Are You My Mother?
complex!

920
00:59:13,841 --> 00:59:15,092
What's this one do?

921
00:59:29,273 --> 00:59:30,858
In every film, there's a moment

922
00:59:30,941 --> 00:59:33,277
when the hero hits rock bottom.

923
00:59:33,360 --> 00:59:35,279
In Cool Runnings,
it was when John Candy's

924
00:59:35,362 --> 00:59:36,655
prized bobsled broke.

925
00:59:37,364 --> 00:59:40,076
In Human Centipede,
it was when those people...

926
00:59:40,159 --> 00:59:41,702
signed on to be in that movie.

927
00:59:41,786 --> 00:59:43,245
But in this film, well...

928
00:59:43,954 --> 00:59:45,122
you're looking at it.

929
00:59:45,206 --> 00:59:46,957
On your fucking knees, mutant.

930
00:59:49,877 --> 00:59:50,878
Rock...

931
00:59:54,924 --> 00:59:56,425
meet bottom.

932
01:00:07,103 --> 01:00:08,187
I love you, Wade Wilson.

933
01:00:08,270 --> 01:00:09,480
Ness?

934
01:00:10,523 --> 01:00:11,982
Hey, Ness!

935
01:00:12,858 --> 01:00:14,652
Ness, can you let me in?

936
01:00:14,735 --> 01:00:16,821
Please! Please.

937
01:00:18,989 --> 01:00:20,074
Jesus.

938
01:00:23,035 --> 01:00:24,745
You're not giving me
a lot of direction here.

939
01:00:24,829 --> 01:00:26,622
I'm at the end of my rope.

940
01:00:29,125 --> 01:00:31,377
Then I joined the X-Men.

941
01:00:31,544 --> 01:00:33,379
I went to prison. I...

942
01:00:37,466 --> 01:00:38,968
Is it the kid?

943
01:00:41,011 --> 01:00:43,931
Kids give us a chance to be
better than we used to be.

944
01:00:45,349 --> 01:00:46,350
The kid!

945
01:01:00,406 --> 01:01:01,699
That's exactly what she meant.

946
01:01:01,782 --> 01:01:02,950
Your heart needs to be
in the right place.

947
01:01:03,075 --> 01:01:04,910
I'm not gonna abandon this kid.

948
01:01:04,994 --> 01:01:07,580
He's never had anyone, ever.

949
01:01:07,663 --> 01:01:08,956
I need to be selfless.

950
01:01:09,039 --> 01:01:10,958
Yeah, but what does that mean?

951
01:01:11,041 --> 01:01:14,170
It means I'm gonna save Russell.

952
01:01:14,336 --> 01:01:15,838
Maybe I couldn't save Vanessa...

953
01:01:15,921 --> 01:01:18,883
but maybe I can save a robust
teenager from New Zealand.

954
01:01:18,966 --> 01:01:20,968
Yeah, but what I mean is,
like, the world "selfless."

955
01:01:21,051 --> 01:01:22,469
I literally don't know
what that means.

956
01:01:22,636 --> 01:01:23,762
Jesus Christ.

957
01:01:23,846 --> 01:01:26,557
Okay, look.
According to my guy, okay...

958
01:01:26,640 --> 01:01:28,392
those muties
are being transferred

959
01:01:28,475 --> 01:01:30,269
to a supermax, 80 miles away.

960
01:01:30,352 --> 01:01:32,146
Great, I'll pick 'em off
along the way.

961
01:01:32,229 --> 01:01:34,356
Hold your testicles there,
buddy, okay?

962
01:01:34,440 --> 01:01:36,400
We're talking about
an armored convoy...

963
01:01:36,483 --> 01:01:39,069
and a vicious super soldier
from the future...

964
01:01:39,153 --> 01:01:41,488
that is looking to turn your
skull into a fuckable ashtray.

965
01:01:41,572 --> 01:01:42,990
You know what we need to do?

966
01:01:43,073 --> 01:01:44,825
We need to build a fucking team.

967
01:01:44,992 --> 01:01:47,036
We need 'em tough,
morally flexible...

968
01:01:47,119 --> 01:01:48,495
and young enough
so they can carry

969
01:01:48,579 --> 01:01:49,705
this franchise 10 to 12 years.

970
01:01:49,788 --> 01:01:51,624
A team of
highly-skilled motherfuckers.

971
01:01:51,707 --> 01:01:54,710
I'm talking about some
Ocean's 14 shit. Rogue Two.

972
01:01:54,793 --> 01:01:57,171
John Wick 3, but with
the original director.

973
01:01:57,254 --> 01:01:59,131
My body is an
instrument of death.

974
01:01:59,215 --> 01:02:00,549
Not now, Dopinder.

975
01:02:00,633 --> 01:02:02,051
I could be of great use.

976
01:02:02,134 --> 01:02:03,719
What's your superpower?

977
01:02:05,512 --> 01:02:07,139
- Courage.
- That's adorable.

978
01:02:07,223 --> 01:02:08,849
Do you have the courage
to check and see...

979
01:02:08,933 --> 01:02:11,268
if there are enough sanitary
napkins in the dispenser?

980
01:02:11,352 --> 01:02:12,353
Yes, sir.

981
01:02:12,436 --> 01:02:13,687
I'm sorry you had to see that,

982
01:02:13,771 --> 01:02:15,272
although I'm glad you heard it.

983
01:02:16,148 --> 01:02:18,025
All right, I'll put out
a call for resumes.

984
01:02:18,108 --> 01:02:20,319
But we're not paying
medical or dental.

985
01:02:20,402 --> 01:02:22,446
It's time to get back
on LinkedIn.

986
01:02:59,316 --> 01:03:00,859
Attention, all inmates!

987
01:03:01,026 --> 01:03:03,404
Transport to Cross Force
Maximum Security

988
01:03:03,487 --> 01:03:04,863
Mutant Containment Facility...

989
01:03:05,030 --> 01:03:06,865
will begin at 0800 hours.

990
01:03:07,032 --> 01:03:08,993
Inspection of your cells
and out processing

991
01:03:09,076 --> 01:03:11,120
will begin at 0600.

992
01:03:19,420 --> 01:03:20,421
Oi.

993
01:03:20,546 --> 01:03:21,880
What the fuck do you want?

994
01:03:21,964 --> 01:03:23,757
That's my fucking pudding.

995
01:03:23,841 --> 01:03:25,134
Fuck your pudding!
You like pudding?

996
01:03:46,864 --> 01:03:47,865
Hello?

997
01:03:50,159 --> 01:03:52,494
I know you're in there.

998
01:04:08,177 --> 01:04:10,471
Must be hard
being the biggest guy in here.

999
01:04:11,764 --> 01:04:14,016
Lonely at the top, eh?

1000
01:04:14,099 --> 01:04:16,060
They're moving us tomorrow.

1001
01:04:18,520 --> 01:04:20,314
Maybe I can get you out of here.

1002
01:04:21,523 --> 01:04:24,693
And we can make
the whole world our bitch.

1003
01:04:26,528 --> 01:04:28,280
We need a secret code.

1004
01:04:31,325 --> 01:04:33,952
No,
that's stupid, Russell. Idiot.

1005
01:04:41,210 --> 01:04:42,711
We're a team.

1006
01:04:42,795 --> 01:04:44,713
We're like thugs,
we're like gangsters.

1007
01:04:44,797 --> 01:04:46,757
I'm like Tupac,
and you're like Ice Cube.

1008
01:04:48,467 --> 01:04:49,510
Supposedly, she can rap, too.

1009
01:04:49,593 --> 01:04:50,677
Yeah.

1010
01:04:50,761 --> 01:04:51,762
I like that.

1011
01:04:51,845 --> 01:04:53,263
Terrific,
these are all terrific.

1012
01:04:53,514 --> 01:04:55,224
Meet Bedlam.

1013
01:04:55,307 --> 01:04:57,476
Cool name! Superpowers?

1014
01:04:57,601 --> 01:04:59,103
I can distort electrical fields.

1015
01:05:00,354 --> 01:05:02,523
Including the one
inside your brain...

1016
01:05:02,606 --> 01:05:05,275
causing anxiety, confusion...

1017
01:05:05,359 --> 01:05:06,443
pain.

1018
01:05:07,403 --> 01:05:09,446
So, basically,
you're Dave Matthews.

1019
01:05:09,530 --> 01:05:10,697
We can use him.

1020
01:05:12,449 --> 01:05:13,992
I'm Zeitgeist.

1021
01:05:14,159 --> 01:05:15,411
Cool. I like it.

1022
01:05:15,494 --> 01:05:16,745
So you have the power

1023
01:05:16,829 --> 01:05:19,164
to put your finger
on the pulse of society?

1024
01:05:20,207 --> 01:05:21,333
No.

1025
01:05:21,417 --> 01:05:22,960
No, I spit acidic vomit.

1026
01:05:23,043 --> 01:05:24,128
Do you want me

1027
01:05:24,211 --> 01:05:25,546
- to demonstrate?
- No!

1028
01:05:25,629 --> 01:05:26,964
We'll take your word for it.

1029
01:05:27,047 --> 01:05:28,507
Thank you. Yeah. Listen, we've
all eaten at Arby's, okay?

1030
01:05:29,341 --> 01:05:31,969
And this is the Vanisher.

1031
01:05:35,305 --> 01:05:36,306
But...

1032
01:05:37,474 --> 01:05:38,934
Vanisher!

1033
01:05:41,478 --> 01:05:43,147
- Nice!
- Right?

1034
01:05:44,440 --> 01:05:45,524
He's not here, is he?

1035
01:05:45,607 --> 01:05:47,151
He may be running late.

1036
01:05:48,735 --> 01:05:51,196
My name's Rusty,
but I go by Shatterstar.

1037
01:05:51,613 --> 01:05:52,823
That's good, yeah.

1038
01:05:52,906 --> 01:05:54,992
- "Rusty" is terrible.
- Toughie.

1039
01:05:55,075 --> 01:05:57,786
- So, where are you from?
- The planet Mojo World.

1040
01:05:57,953 --> 01:05:59,955
- So you're an alien, I guess.
- Bad name.

1041
01:06:00,038 --> 01:06:01,665
How does that help us?

1042
01:06:01,748 --> 01:06:04,543
I'm basically better
than you at everything.

1043
01:06:04,710 --> 01:06:06,378
Just once, I'm gonna find
a planet of people

1044
01:06:06,462 --> 01:06:08,005
that are worse than me
at everything.

1045
01:06:08,088 --> 01:06:10,257
A whole bunch
of functional idiots.

1046
01:06:10,340 --> 01:06:12,217
I'm gonna go there, and I'm
gonna be their Superman.

1047
01:06:12,301 --> 01:06:13,385
Isn't that Canada?

1048
01:06:13,469 --> 01:06:15,888
You shut your
goddamn trash mouth!

1049
01:06:17,055 --> 01:06:18,515
- Meet...
- Domino.

1050
01:06:18,599 --> 01:06:20,309
- What's your shtick?
- I'm lucky.

1051
01:06:20,684 --> 01:06:21,685
That's not a superpower.

1052
01:06:22,144 --> 01:06:23,145
- Yeah, it is.
- No, it isn't.

1053
01:06:23,312 --> 01:06:24,521
- Yes, it is.
- No, it isn't.

1054
01:06:24,605 --> 01:06:25,606
- Yeah, it is.
- No, it isn't.

1055
01:06:25,689 --> 01:06:26,690
- Yes, it is.
- No, it isn't.

1056
01:06:26,773 --> 01:06:27,774
- Yeah, it is.
- Really isn't.

1057
01:06:27,858 --> 01:06:28,942
- No, it isn't.
- Yes, it is.

1058
01:06:29,109 --> 01:06:30,110
Told you.

1059
01:06:30,319 --> 01:06:31,528
Get out of my head!

1060
01:06:31,695 --> 01:06:33,280
I'm not in your head.

1061
01:06:33,363 --> 01:06:34,573
I'm in an
11 -year-old's bedroom.

1062
01:06:34,740 --> 01:06:35,866
Well, if you're so lucky,

1063
01:06:35,949 --> 01:06:37,493
then what are you
doing here with us?

1064
01:06:37,576 --> 01:06:38,660
I don't know yet.

1065
01:06:38,744 --> 01:06:39,745
What's that supposed to mean?

1066
01:06:39,828 --> 01:06:41,538
There's a reason why I'm here,
and I'll know when I know.

1067
01:06:41,622 --> 01:06:43,373
Everything usually
just kind of works out for me.

1068
01:06:43,457 --> 01:06:45,292
Like 2008 Ryan Reynolds.

1069
01:06:46,585 --> 01:06:47,669
I don't know who that is.

1070
01:06:47,753 --> 01:06:48,921
You're hired.

1071
01:06:49,296 --> 01:06:50,297
Lucky me.

1072
01:06:50,380 --> 01:06:51,590
I like her!

1073
01:06:52,716 --> 01:06:54,009
And last, but not least...

1074
01:06:54,092 --> 01:06:55,219
Peter.

1075
01:06:56,595 --> 01:06:58,555
Am I getting
catfished here or...?

1076
01:06:59,181 --> 01:07:01,058
Any powers you wanna
tell us about?

1077
01:07:01,141 --> 01:07:02,226
No.

1078
01:07:02,768 --> 01:07:04,436
I don't have one.

1079
01:07:04,520 --> 01:07:05,812
I just saw the ad.

1080
01:07:05,896 --> 01:07:07,606
No superpowers at all?

1081
01:07:07,689 --> 01:07:10,817
I have both
Type 1 and 2 Diabetes.

1082
01:07:12,694 --> 01:07:13,820
That's all the diabetes.

1083
01:07:13,904 --> 01:07:15,155
- Right?
- Yeah, you got 'em all.

1084
01:07:15,239 --> 01:07:17,157
If you find a Type 3,
let us know.

1085
01:07:17,658 --> 01:07:18,659
Yeah.

1086
01:07:18,742 --> 01:07:19,826
You're in.

1087
01:07:19,910 --> 01:07:21,411
- Yeah.
- Fuck!

1088
01:07:23,789 --> 01:07:25,207
It's fulfilling work.

1089
01:07:30,295 --> 01:07:31,588
Let's go!

1090
01:07:45,227 --> 01:07:47,771
This is Convoy 17
departing the Ice Box.

1091
01:07:47,854 --> 01:07:49,231
We are en route.

1092
01:07:56,822 --> 01:07:59,199
Peacetime makes people soft.

1093
01:08:00,784 --> 01:08:02,578
I was born into war.

1094
01:08:04,121 --> 01:08:05,289
Bred into it.

1095
01:08:06,415 --> 01:08:07,416
Okay.

1096
01:08:08,250 --> 01:08:10,586
What's the most pain
you've ever felt?

1097
01:08:12,546 --> 01:08:13,755
These restraints are pretty...

1098
01:08:13,839 --> 01:08:15,257
People think
they understand pain.

1099
01:08:15,757 --> 01:08:17,175
They have no concept of it

1100
01:08:17,259 --> 01:08:19,219
beyond their own
worst experience.

1101
01:08:20,804 --> 01:08:23,974
5 years old. That's what?

1102
01:08:24,057 --> 01:08:25,559
A bee sting.

1103
01:08:25,642 --> 01:08:26,727
Yeah.

1104
01:08:26,810 --> 01:08:29,313
20 years old, shrapnel.

1105
01:08:29,396 --> 01:08:31,690
40 years old, disease.

1106
01:08:32,149 --> 01:08:36,653
Maybe the kind that leaves you
more machine than man.

1107
01:08:36,737 --> 01:08:38,113
Yeah, getting old's
not for sissies.

1108
01:08:38,196 --> 01:08:39,781
That's what my
Grandma Ginny used to...

1109
01:08:39,865 --> 01:08:41,074
I've got a list.

1110
01:08:41,825 --> 01:08:43,785
We're gonna work down it.

1111
01:08:44,494 --> 01:08:45,495
Together.

1112
01:08:46,663 --> 01:08:48,790
Number one,
I'm gonna bend something.

1113
01:08:49,750 --> 01:08:52,044
Something that was not
meant to bend.

1114
01:08:52,127 --> 01:08:53,170
I'm gonna stop you right there

1115
01:08:53,253 --> 01:08:54,546
because I'm not gonna
make it to two.

1116
01:08:54,630 --> 01:08:55,922
I won't even make it to one.

1117
01:08:56,006 --> 01:08:57,674
I don't do well with pain,
you know.

1118
01:08:57,758 --> 01:08:59,885
If I stub my toe,
I'm done for the day.

1119
01:09:00,177 --> 01:09:02,179
I cried when they
canceled Felicity.

1120
01:09:02,596 --> 01:09:04,389
When I get really scared,
I get nervous erections.

1121
01:09:04,473 --> 01:09:05,807
I have one right now.

1122
01:09:05,891 --> 01:09:07,434
Don't look.
It'll only make it worse.

1123
01:09:07,517 --> 01:09:08,560
I don't want you to hurt me,

1124
01:09:08,644 --> 01:09:10,896
and I'll tell you
anything you wanna know.

1125
01:09:11,855 --> 01:09:13,482
Except for where they are.

1126
01:09:14,066 --> 01:09:15,275
Russell's in a convoy
heading southbound

1127
01:09:15,359 --> 01:09:16,568
on Gerry Duggan Parkway.

1128
01:09:16,652 --> 01:09:18,070
The monster's with them.
I wouldn't fuck with him.

1129
01:09:18,153 --> 01:09:19,571
You all know the plan.

1130
01:09:19,655 --> 01:09:21,365
Intercept the convoy,

1131
01:09:21,448 --> 01:09:23,408
grab the boy.
But not inappropriately!

1132
01:09:23,492 --> 01:09:24,493
You know what,

1133
01:09:24,576 --> 01:09:25,661
I wouldn't fuck with
Deadpool either.

1134
01:09:25,744 --> 01:09:28,538
Because he's built a team.
He's unstoppable.

1135
01:09:28,622 --> 01:09:31,291
He has an ass pen.
He'll stab you with it.

1136
01:09:31,375 --> 01:09:33,960
Watch out for this guy, Cable!

1137
01:09:34,044 --> 01:09:37,172
He's very short, 5'11".
Not like in the comics.

1138
01:09:37,339 --> 01:09:40,008
And if we succeed,
we all go home early.

1139
01:09:40,467 --> 01:09:42,260
So if you go after
them, Cable, I warn you...

1140
01:09:43,261 --> 01:09:44,846
there's a wind advisory
in effect.

1141
01:09:56,191 --> 01:09:57,776
A little turbulent up here.

1142
01:10:05,200 --> 01:10:06,952
I don't know much
about this Cable fella...

1143
01:10:07,035 --> 01:10:08,370
but I guarantee he hasn't killed

1144
01:10:08,453 --> 01:10:10,205
as many people as melanoma has.

1145
01:10:11,581 --> 01:10:12,666
We're getting close!

1146
01:10:13,041 --> 01:10:14,668
As a former X-Man...

1147
01:10:14,751 --> 01:10:16,628
Trainee.
Thank you, Bedlam.

1148
01:10:16,712 --> 01:10:19,047
I was always appalled
by the blatant sexism

1149
01:10:19,131 --> 01:10:20,674
in the group's name.

1150
01:10:20,757 --> 01:10:22,759
X-Men! Men!

1151
01:10:22,843 --> 01:10:25,804
The point is, our group
will be forward thinking.

1152
01:10:25,887 --> 01:10:27,180
Gender neutral.

1153
01:10:27,264 --> 01:10:29,558
From now on,
we'll be known as...

1154
01:10:31,810 --> 01:10:33,145
X-Force.

1155
01:10:33,228 --> 01:10:34,938
Isn't that a little derivative?

1156
01:10:35,021 --> 01:10:37,441
I don't recall asking
your opinion, Peter!

1157
01:10:38,692 --> 01:10:40,152
That wasn't me.

1158
01:10:47,200 --> 01:10:49,494
Hang the laundry out
at 1,300 feet...

1159
01:10:49,578 --> 01:10:51,371
intercept the convoy,
and grab the boy.

1160
01:10:51,455 --> 01:10:52,497
Let's bring on
the carnage, baby!

1161
01:10:52,581 --> 01:10:54,416
Get me on the ground,
watch me go!

1162
01:10:54,499 --> 01:10:55,500
Yeah!

1163
01:10:55,584 --> 01:10:57,335
I can't wait to kill!

1164
01:10:57,419 --> 01:10:59,087
Hey! Hey! Hey!

1165
01:11:00,213 --> 01:11:02,007
I just wanna say
how proud I am of this team.

1166
01:11:02,924 --> 01:11:05,761
You know, you guys look amazing!

1167
01:11:05,844 --> 01:11:08,680
Vanisher, I have no doubt
you look amazing too.

1168
01:11:08,764 --> 01:11:09,806
This is the family

1169
01:11:09,890 --> 01:11:11,349
that I've always dreamed
of having and I...

1170
01:11:12,392 --> 01:11:13,435
Shit.

1171
01:11:15,061 --> 01:11:16,730
I just get a little choked up
sometimes.

1172
01:11:16,813 --> 01:11:18,607
I hate to interrupt,
but is anybody nervous

1173
01:11:18,690 --> 01:11:20,025
about the high winds?

1174
01:11:20,108 --> 01:11:21,401
- Gary.
- My name's Peter.

1175
01:11:21,485 --> 01:11:23,361
I realize that you're
new to this, but relax.

1176
01:11:23,445 --> 01:11:24,863
You've been chosen
by a higher power.

1177
01:11:25,155 --> 01:11:27,407
- Did he just call himself God?
- I think he did.

1178
01:11:27,491 --> 01:11:29,034
- I'd like to go home.
- And I'd like...

1179
01:11:29,117 --> 01:11:31,578
the McRib to be available
year round,

1180
01:11:31,661 --> 01:11:33,455
but sometimes dreams
don't come true.

1181
01:11:33,538 --> 01:11:35,665
I spent 10 years
in Special Forces.

1182
01:11:35,749 --> 01:11:36,833
You think we didn't
jump out of the plane

1183
01:11:36,917 --> 01:11:38,293
because of a light breeze?

1184
01:11:38,919 --> 01:11:41,171
You're in this shit now,
Mustache!

1185
01:11:41,254 --> 01:11:43,173
I'm only yelling
to impress the other guys.

1186
01:11:43,256 --> 01:11:45,175
I'd never let anything
happen to you, Sugarbear.

1187
01:11:45,634 --> 01:11:47,761
Leonard, hit it!

1188
01:11:56,520 --> 01:11:58,563
Go! Go! Go!

1189
01:12:34,266 --> 01:12:35,642
Let's get some!

1190
01:12:36,935 --> 01:12:38,061
Yeah!

1191
01:12:38,144 --> 01:12:40,981
Convoy, 12 o'clock!
On my command!

1192
01:12:42,023 --> 01:12:43,483
Deploy! Hey now!

1193
01:12:50,073 --> 01:12:51,992
Little off course here.

1194
01:12:54,160 --> 01:12:56,997
Holy mommy fucking shit!

1195
01:12:57,747 --> 01:12:59,165
There they are.

1196
01:12:59,249 --> 01:13:02,335
Look at these gorgeous
sons of bitches.

1197
01:13:02,878 --> 01:13:04,796
Yeah!
That's right, Bedlam!

1198
01:13:09,885 --> 01:13:13,805
No! Tripping
motherfucking billies!

1199
01:13:14,222 --> 01:13:17,309
Shatterstar.
Okay, you got this.

1200
01:13:18,059 --> 01:13:19,060
Left!

1201
01:13:19,144 --> 01:13:20,478
Left!

1202
01:13:20,562 --> 01:13:22,772
You'd have to be insane
to take off in this.

1203
01:13:22,856 --> 01:13:25,066
No, stage left, you idiot!

1204
01:13:28,987 --> 01:13:30,488
Well, I guess we found something

1205
01:13:30,572 --> 01:13:31,656
you're not better at.

1206
01:13:33,867 --> 01:13:35,160
Vanisher.

1207
01:13:35,243 --> 01:13:36,995
Maybe the wind can't blow
what it can't see.

1208
01:13:40,123 --> 01:13:41,541
Really?

1209
01:13:41,625 --> 01:13:43,418
All right,
we could do this with four.

1210
01:13:44,002 --> 01:13:46,963
Sugarbear.
You got this, buddy!

1211
01:13:47,047 --> 01:13:49,174
That's the stuff!
That's the X-Force spirit!

1212
01:13:50,383 --> 01:13:52,427
Never underestimate
a man with a mustache!

1213
01:13:52,510 --> 01:13:54,012
Just ask anyone in Brooklyn.

1214
01:13:54,095 --> 01:13:55,263
We did it!

1215
01:13:55,347 --> 01:13:56,848
You're a goddamn superhero, you!

1216
01:13:56,932 --> 01:13:58,016
X-Force!

1217
01:13:58,642 --> 01:13:59,726
X-Force.

1218
01:14:09,694 --> 01:14:10,695
Peter.

1219
01:14:10,779 --> 01:14:11,780
I got you, buddy!

1220
01:14:11,863 --> 01:14:12,906
- You're gonna be fine!
- This is not good, man!

1221
01:14:12,989 --> 01:14:15,617
You got this, big guy!
Here we go, Peter!

1222
01:14:15,700 --> 01:14:17,118
Look at me.
We're X-Force, right?

1223
01:14:17,202 --> 01:14:19,329
- Yeah, we're X-Force.
- We're X-Force.

1224
01:14:23,375 --> 01:14:25,377
Oh, my God!
What the fuck?

1225
01:14:25,460 --> 01:14:27,420
Fucking acidic vomit!

1226
01:14:29,005 --> 01:14:31,758
Oh, God! I'm gonna throw up
in my mask.

1227
01:14:34,886 --> 01:14:37,263
Okay, I'm over the convoy.

1228
01:14:37,347 --> 01:14:39,182
Where did the rest
of the team land?

1229
01:14:39,808 --> 01:14:41,434
Good news and bad news.

1230
01:14:41,518 --> 01:14:44,604
Bad news is
the whole team is dead.

1231
01:14:44,688 --> 01:14:45,772
The good news is,

1232
01:14:45,855 --> 01:14:47,816
I don't think anyone's
gonna miss Shatterstar.

1233
01:14:47,899 --> 01:14:51,194
He was a bit of a prick.
But Paul!

1234
01:14:51,277 --> 01:14:52,278
Peter!

1235
01:14:52,362 --> 01:14:53,780
Peter, I'm gonna miss him most.

1236
01:14:53,863 --> 01:14:54,948
But there is a slight chance

1237
01:14:55,031 --> 01:14:56,366
Vanisher could make it.

1238
01:14:56,449 --> 01:14:58,994
Nope, no chance. He's dead.

1239
01:14:59,077 --> 01:15:00,245
The whole team?

1240
01:15:00,328 --> 01:15:02,122
Only the main ones.
We're still good.

1241
01:15:02,205 --> 01:15:03,456
Fuck, you are dumb.

1242
01:15:03,540 --> 01:15:05,125
Whoever planned this stunt's

1243
01:15:05,208 --> 01:15:07,377
been smoking a lot jazz cabbage.

1244
01:15:07,460 --> 01:15:08,545
I'll tell you that much.

1245
01:15:08,628 --> 01:15:10,255
That's pretty obvious!

1246
01:15:10,338 --> 01:15:12,048
Looking good, Vanisher.

1247
01:15:21,891 --> 01:15:23,768
They're headed into the tunnel.

1248
01:15:24,769 --> 01:15:26,187
I'm that kid's only hope,

1249
01:15:26,271 --> 01:15:28,148
so sit tight
and wait for my word.

1250
01:15:28,898 --> 01:15:29,899
Whatever.

1251
01:15:29,983 --> 01:15:31,151
We're gonna lose 'em.
I'm dropping in.

1252
01:15:31,234 --> 01:15:34,154
That's
a negative, sole survivor.

1253
01:15:34,237 --> 01:15:36,740
Luck is not a superpower!
We are so fucked!

1254
01:15:36,823 --> 01:15:39,868
No, we most certainly
are not fucked.

1255
01:15:42,996 --> 01:15:45,623
Seriously, I don't get it!

1256
01:15:45,707 --> 01:15:48,168
What, you shoot luck lasers
out of your eyes?

1257
01:15:50,336 --> 01:15:52,130
It's just it's hard to picture.

1258
01:15:52,213 --> 01:15:54,340
And certainly
not very cinematic.

1259
01:15:57,010 --> 01:15:58,595
I mean, luck?

1260
01:15:58,678 --> 01:16:01,181
What coked out,
glass pipe-sucking

1261
01:16:01,264 --> 01:16:02,599
freakshow comic book artist...

1262
01:16:02,682 --> 01:16:04,267
came up
with that little chestnut?

1263
01:16:04,350 --> 01:16:06,644
Probably a guy
who can't draw feet!

1264
01:16:17,739 --> 01:16:20,992
Once again, it all falls
on my shoulders.

1265
01:16:21,076 --> 01:16:22,243
It's why I'm cursed to be
a solo act.

1266
01:16:22,327 --> 01:16:23,328
- Wander the Earth...
- I'm in.

1267
01:16:23,411 --> 01:16:24,871
I'm sorry, what did you say?

1268
01:16:24,954 --> 01:16:26,039
I'm in.

1269
01:16:26,122 --> 01:16:27,999
How in the fuck
are you in already?

1270
01:16:28,458 --> 01:16:29,709
Shit.

1271
01:16:30,293 --> 01:16:31,503
It's Cable. 12 o'clock.

1272
01:16:31,586 --> 01:16:32,629
Okay.

1273
01:16:32,712 --> 01:16:35,131
New plan. Use all of your
imaginary powers

1274
01:16:35,215 --> 01:16:37,926
to stop Cable
from killing that kid.

1275
01:16:38,009 --> 01:16:39,636
I'm coming up on your six.

1276
01:16:47,894 --> 01:16:49,896
That gun is amazing!

1277
01:16:59,072 --> 01:17:00,990
Hey!
Asshole!

1278
01:17:01,157 --> 01:17:02,742
Where is he?
I can't see him.

1279
01:17:02,826 --> 01:17:04,327
He's on top of you.

1280
01:17:04,619 --> 01:17:06,079
He's tearing you open!

1281
01:17:06,538 --> 01:17:07,956
He's going in through the back!

1282
01:17:08,498 --> 01:17:09,582
Oh, God, he's inside!

1283
01:17:09,666 --> 01:17:10,917
You hear yourself, right?

1284
01:17:11,000 --> 01:17:12,418
Accidental double entendres!

1285
01:17:12,502 --> 01:17:14,963
Russell! Russell Collins!

1286
01:17:15,046 --> 01:17:16,965
Hands off that kid, John Connor!

1287
01:17:21,970 --> 01:17:22,971
No, no, no!

1288
01:17:27,308 --> 01:17:28,434
Shit!

1289
01:17:50,373 --> 01:17:52,292
Two can play that game!

1290
01:17:54,419 --> 01:17:56,254
Got it! No, I don't.

1291
01:17:57,255 --> 01:17:58,256
Showtime, mama!

1292
01:17:58,339 --> 01:17:59,966
Lady Luck, take the wheel.

1293
01:18:37,712 --> 01:18:39,464
I'd ask who you are, but
you'll be dead in a second.

1294
01:18:39,631 --> 01:18:41,674
I'm Domino, and doubtful.

1295
01:18:58,274 --> 01:18:59,275
Hang in there, Doms!

1296
01:19:00,610 --> 01:19:02,237
This is really hard.

1297
01:19:14,499 --> 01:19:15,917
And give me back
my Skee-Ball token.

1298
01:19:19,462 --> 01:19:21,005
- You're doing great.
- X-Force.

1299
01:19:22,966 --> 01:19:24,968
I guess dubstep never dies.

1300
01:19:37,188 --> 01:19:39,983
You killed Black Tom,
you racist son of a bitch!

1301
01:19:42,777 --> 01:19:43,903
That's unfortunate.

1302
01:19:47,031 --> 01:19:48,283
We got no brakes!

1303
01:19:48,449 --> 01:19:49,701
Figure it out!

1304
01:19:54,080 --> 01:19:55,623
There's nothing I can't kill.

1305
01:19:58,418 --> 01:20:00,920
Well, as Scoutmaster Kevin
used to say...

1306
01:20:01,004 --> 01:20:03,339
"There's a first time
for everything, son."

1307
01:20:05,049 --> 01:20:06,634
Give me your best shot,
One-Eyed Willy.

1308
01:20:21,482 --> 01:20:23,401
Those bullets were, like,
super fast.

1309
01:20:23,985 --> 01:20:24,986
Here we go.

1310
01:20:26,070 --> 01:20:28,281
Domino, mind slowing us down?

1311
01:20:28,364 --> 01:20:30,450
Here goes nothing.

1312
01:21:01,647 --> 01:21:03,399
Knock, knock.

1313
01:21:09,947 --> 01:21:10,948
That's my boy.

1314
01:21:17,372 --> 01:21:18,539
Holy...

1315
01:21:28,841 --> 01:21:30,426
I'll be first to admit...

1316
01:21:30,510 --> 01:21:32,887
this did not go
according to plan.

1317
01:21:34,222 --> 01:21:35,765
I'll also be the first
to admit that

1318
01:21:35,848 --> 01:21:37,683
that plan was written in crayon.

1319
01:21:37,767 --> 01:21:40,978
Looks like Russell found
a new friend. Jelly.

1320
01:21:41,062 --> 01:21:42,605
Turns out Domino's
a bit of a badass,

1321
01:21:42,688 --> 01:21:45,566
and maybe,
possibly mildly lucky.

1322
01:21:45,650 --> 01:21:48,903
But Cable?
That guy's in a mood.

1323
01:21:48,986 --> 01:21:50,154
A mood that is

1324
01:21:50,238 --> 01:21:52,031
about to get
significantly worse.

1325
01:22:15,805 --> 01:22:18,224
Something is so terribly,
terribly wrong.

1326
01:22:24,439 --> 01:22:26,065
Oh, God, that hurt.

1327
01:22:26,149 --> 01:22:27,775
Suck it, Mel Gibson.

1328
01:22:31,320 --> 01:22:32,405
Russell.

1329
01:22:35,116 --> 01:22:36,200
Russell!

1330
01:22:36,826 --> 01:22:38,911
Russ, where are ya?

1331
01:22:42,540 --> 01:22:44,625
Russell. Russell, you're okay!

1332
01:22:44,792 --> 01:22:47,962
Oh, thank God.
Oh, my God!

1333
01:22:48,254 --> 01:22:49,464
Juggernaut!

1334
01:22:50,798 --> 01:22:52,800
I thought that was you!

1335
01:22:52,884 --> 01:22:54,969
I should've worn my white pants.

1336
01:22:55,720 --> 01:22:58,723
You probably get this a lot,
but I am a huge fan.

1337
01:22:59,599 --> 01:23:02,894
Uncanny X-Men 183 . Thor 411.

1338
01:23:02,977 --> 01:23:04,270
X-Men Unlimited 12.

1339
01:23:04,353 --> 01:23:06,439
You know, it has always been
a dream of mine...

1340
01:23:06,522 --> 01:23:08,274
to see my face
reflected in your helmet...

1341
01:23:08,357 --> 01:23:10,526
as you charge at me
with murderous intent.

1342
01:23:10,610 --> 01:23:12,111
I don't mean right now.

1343
01:23:12,445 --> 01:23:14,322
I'm gonna rip you in half now.

1344
01:23:14,405 --> 01:23:16,741
That is such
a Juggernaut thing to say.

1345
01:23:20,828 --> 01:23:24,832
Oh, my God!
I can't feel my legs.

1346
01:23:24,916 --> 01:23:26,000
I can't feel...

1347
01:23:26,959 --> 01:23:28,461
No, they're right here.

1348
01:23:29,295 --> 01:23:31,047
Got 'em.
God, Russell.

1349
01:23:31,130 --> 01:23:32,965
I have a mission.

1350
01:23:33,508 --> 01:23:34,634
To get my revenge.

1351
01:23:35,134 --> 01:23:37,386
I'm going to burn
that headmaster alive.

1352
01:23:37,470 --> 01:23:39,639
You're not the revenge type.

1353
01:23:39,722 --> 01:23:40,890
Take it from a friend.

1354
01:23:41,307 --> 01:23:45,019
Friend? You were sick,
and I protected you.

1355
01:23:45,186 --> 01:23:47,313
You said it yourself.

1356
01:23:47,396 --> 01:23:50,066
"I'm not your friend.
Find someone stronger."

1357
01:23:50,149 --> 01:23:51,359
So I did.

1358
01:23:53,110 --> 01:23:55,154
Russell, I couldn't
protect you back then.

1359
01:23:55,321 --> 01:23:58,783
But I can now. What do you
want me to say?

1360
01:23:59,367 --> 01:24:01,202
"I care about you"?
'Cause goddamn it,

1361
01:24:01,285 --> 01:24:03,120
I care about you, Russell.

1362
01:24:03,746 --> 01:24:05,831
What's Juggernaut got
that I don't have?

1363
01:24:05,915 --> 01:24:09,085
Don't you say legs!
I know you're gonna say legs!

1364
01:24:09,627 --> 01:24:12,421
- Legs!
- Still hurts to hear out loud!

1365
01:24:14,590 --> 01:24:17,510
What is that?
That's not a real rope!

1366
01:24:17,593 --> 01:24:19,929
You get back here, young man!

1367
01:24:20,888 --> 01:24:22,014
Doms!

1368
01:24:22,390 --> 01:24:24,559
Doms, get me
out of here, please.

1369
01:24:24,642 --> 01:24:27,061
Use my arms as backpack straps.

1370
01:24:29,772 --> 01:24:30,856
I think we may have found

1371
01:24:30,940 --> 01:24:32,733
your cosmic reason
for being here.

1372
01:24:33,150 --> 01:24:34,902
I'm pretty sure this isn't it.

1373
01:24:34,986 --> 01:24:36,237
X-Force.

1374
01:24:49,750 --> 01:24:51,544
No child is hopeless.

1375
01:24:51,627 --> 01:24:54,422
- Don't give up on the boy.
- How could he just walk away?

1376
01:24:55,172 --> 01:24:57,425
It was the coldness in his eyes.

1377
01:24:57,883 --> 01:24:59,468
You should've heard it.

1378
01:25:01,387 --> 01:25:03,681
I guess family
really is an F-word.

1379
01:25:04,599 --> 01:25:06,767
Rub my legs, Mama.

1380
01:25:06,851 --> 01:25:08,227
Why would I rub your legs?

1381
01:25:08,311 --> 01:25:10,896
Please, they hurt.
I have growing pains.

1382
01:25:14,358 --> 01:25:15,568
What in the...

1383
01:25:16,068 --> 01:25:18,321
Why is your hand so tiny again?

1384
01:25:18,821 --> 01:25:20,197
That's not my hand.

1385
01:25:20,698 --> 01:25:22,533
Mary, mother of Joseph!

1386
01:25:23,117 --> 01:25:24,994
That was nice for me.

1387
01:25:25,077 --> 01:25:27,830
Wade! I heard what happened
with the convoy and...

1388
01:25:32,335 --> 01:25:34,170
Why wouldn't you cover that up?

1389
01:25:34,670 --> 01:25:36,839
A warrior has nothing
to be ashamed of.

1390
01:25:36,922 --> 01:25:38,841
Yeah, but you do.
Look at you.

1391
01:25:38,924 --> 01:25:40,926
You're just
straight shirt-cocking it,

1392
01:25:41,010 --> 01:25:42,428
toddler-style.

1393
01:25:42,511 --> 01:25:44,430
Yeah.
Full Winnie the Pooh.

1394
01:25:44,513 --> 01:25:46,474
The hell's happening?
Describe it.

1395
01:25:46,557 --> 01:25:47,767
I wouldn't ask him to do that,
if I were you.

1396
01:25:47,850 --> 01:25:49,435
- It's like...
- Here we go.

1397
01:25:49,518 --> 01:25:50,728
It's like he was
giving birth anally,

1398
01:25:50,811 --> 01:25:52,313
but they quit halfway through.

1399
01:25:52,396 --> 01:25:53,481
They got the legs out,
and they said,

1400
01:25:53,564 --> 01:25:54,899
"You know what, I'm done."

1401
01:25:54,982 --> 01:25:55,983
Happy?

1402
01:25:56,067 --> 01:25:57,109
It's like he's a Muppet
from the waist down.

1403
01:25:57,193 --> 01:25:58,527
But this time, you can see

1404
01:25:58,611 --> 01:26:00,029
the Muppet's dick.

1405
01:26:00,112 --> 01:26:01,238
Grover's got a cock
the size of a twig.

1406
01:26:01,322 --> 01:26:02,615
Mr. Weasel, I can
no longer be double-parked.

1407
01:26:02,698 --> 01:26:04,367
I've had three tickets already.

1408
01:26:05,993 --> 01:26:08,454
No, no, no, DP, not again!

1409
01:26:08,788 --> 01:26:10,331
This has happened before?

1410
01:26:11,457 --> 01:26:12,875
Jesus! Either vomit or don't.

1411
01:26:12,958 --> 01:26:14,251
The indecision is killing me.

1412
01:26:14,335 --> 01:26:16,212
Why couldn't God
take my hearing?

1413
01:26:20,049 --> 01:26:21,676
Cool your pits.
They're growing back.

1414
01:26:21,759 --> 01:26:23,344
I'm talking about your face.

1415
01:26:23,761 --> 01:26:25,638
I've never seen you
without your mask before.

1416
01:26:25,721 --> 01:26:27,890
- Jesus Christ!
- Looks like an avocado.

1417
01:26:27,973 --> 01:26:29,600
Your legs, though, they're cute.

1418
01:26:29,934 --> 01:26:31,727
You wanna borrow
a pair of pants?

1419
01:26:33,312 --> 01:26:34,855
I'm glad everybody dropped by.

1420
01:26:34,939 --> 01:26:37,233
You must be wondering
why I didn't call you here.

1421
01:26:37,692 --> 01:26:39,276
I'll tell you why I'm here.

1422
01:26:39,360 --> 01:26:41,654
"The Time Traveler's Wife's"
husband...

1423
01:26:41,737 --> 01:26:42,905
beat me within
an inch of my life.

1424
01:26:42,988 --> 01:26:44,240
He was torturing me!

1425
01:26:44,323 --> 01:26:47,243
But all I told him was
everything he wanted to know.

1426
01:26:47,326 --> 01:26:49,495
So, I'm here to help us gear up.

1427
01:26:49,995 --> 01:26:51,122
So we can go after him
without me.

1428
01:26:51,205 --> 01:26:52,206
No!

1429
01:26:52,623 --> 01:26:53,958
I'm doing this alone.

1430
01:26:54,041 --> 01:26:55,126
The Juggernaut

1431
01:26:55,209 --> 01:26:56,377
- will kill you all.
- Fair enough.

1432
01:26:56,460 --> 01:26:58,504
I just need a couple of
hours to get some legs

1433
01:26:58,587 --> 01:26:59,672
- under me.
- What will you do?

1434
01:26:59,755 --> 01:27:01,048
I don't care
what the kid did to me.

1435
01:27:01,132 --> 01:27:02,425
I ain't letting Cable
get to him,

1436
01:27:02,508 --> 01:27:03,801
even if I have to
teabag him to death.

1437
01:27:03,884 --> 01:27:05,886
It's really just a sip of tea
at this point.

1438
01:27:05,970 --> 01:27:07,722
Zip it, black Black Widow!
I'm flowing.

1439
01:27:07,805 --> 01:27:08,806
The first order of business is

1440
01:27:08,889 --> 01:27:09,974
to get me in front of Cable...

1441
01:27:10,057 --> 01:27:11,684
so I can pull all the fucking
blood out of his body...

1442
01:27:11,767 --> 01:27:14,103
and fashion his bones
into holiday jewelry.

1443
01:27:14,186 --> 01:27:15,938
Then, I'm gonna take his skin...

1444
01:27:16,021 --> 01:27:19,108
and stretch it out
over a homemade mating drum.

1445
01:27:20,693 --> 01:27:22,278
He's standing right
behind you, isn't he?

1446
01:27:30,953 --> 01:27:32,705
What in the ass?

1447
01:27:32,997 --> 01:27:36,083
Is this apartment listed
on Tinder? Grindr?

1448
01:27:36,375 --> 01:27:38,919
You picked the wrong shithole
to fuck, future boy.

1449
01:27:39,462 --> 01:27:42,006
Is that really necessary?

1450
01:27:44,258 --> 01:27:46,927
No. It's his
"Basic Instinct."

1451
01:27:47,094 --> 01:27:48,137
What can we help you with?

1452
01:27:48,846 --> 01:27:50,514
I'm here to proposition you.

1453
01:27:52,016 --> 01:27:53,100
Oh, boy!

1454
01:27:53,184 --> 01:27:54,185
He's really teeing it up,
isn't he?

1455
01:27:54,268 --> 01:27:56,353
Who gets to make the first joke?

1456
01:27:56,437 --> 01:27:57,730
I think we should all do it
at the same time.

1457
01:27:57,813 --> 01:27:58,814
Good call.

1458
01:27:58,898 --> 01:28:00,441
For $45, you get sucky-suck.

1459
01:28:00,524 --> 01:28:01,692
I only do over
the pants, mouth stuff.

1460
01:28:01,776 --> 01:28:02,860
Fuck!

1461
01:28:02,943 --> 01:28:03,986
The Proposition has a wonderful

1462
01:28:04,069 --> 01:28:05,070
Guy Pearce performance.

1463
01:28:05,154 --> 01:28:06,906
Wait, wait, wait!
I wanna do mine over.

1464
01:28:07,239 --> 01:28:09,325
Give us the line again.
I need your help!

1465
01:28:09,867 --> 01:28:12,161
Trust me, I'm even less happy
about this than you are...

1466
01:28:12,244 --> 01:28:14,872
but you unleashed
the Juggernaut, you dumb cunt!

1467
01:28:15,414 --> 01:28:17,666
I can't bring him down alone.

1468
01:28:17,833 --> 01:28:19,376
So here we are.

1469
01:28:20,711 --> 01:28:22,463
We're no longer
accepting applications

1470
01:28:22,546 --> 01:28:23,923
for X-Force, unfortunately.

1471
01:28:24,006 --> 01:28:25,424
Even if we were...

1472
01:28:25,508 --> 01:28:27,134
there's a wind advisory
in effect until at least...

1473
01:28:27,218 --> 01:28:28,385
We don't have a lot of time.

1474
01:28:28,469 --> 01:28:30,221
Your friend's about
to make his first kill.

1475
01:28:30,304 --> 01:28:31,764
No offense,
but if you know so much...

1476
01:28:31,847 --> 01:28:34,183
why not travel back to when
he was a baby, kill him then?

1477
01:28:34,767 --> 01:28:35,768
Or better yet, head back
a little further,

1478
01:28:35,851 --> 01:28:36,852
kill baby Hitler.

1479
01:28:36,936 --> 01:28:38,896
I use a device
to slide through time.

1480
01:28:38,979 --> 01:28:41,607
The longer I travel,
the harder it is to control.

1481
01:28:41,690 --> 01:28:44,276
I got two charges:
one to get me here,

1482
01:28:44,360 --> 01:28:45,486
one to get me home.

1483
01:28:45,569 --> 01:28:46,695
Well.

1484
01:28:46,779 --> 01:28:48,656
That's just lazy writing.

1485
01:28:48,739 --> 01:28:49,949
Your boy's
gonna kill the headmaster

1486
01:28:50,032 --> 01:28:51,575
of the orphanage tonight.

1487
01:28:51,659 --> 01:28:53,744
After that,
he gets a real taste for it.

1488
01:28:53,828 --> 01:28:56,539
Like 10-year-old
Kirsten Dunst, motherfucker!

1489
01:28:56,622 --> 01:28:58,582
So he keeps killing...

1490
01:28:58,666 --> 01:29:00,125
and killing, and killing,

1491
01:29:00,209 --> 01:29:01,418
and killing.

1492
01:29:01,752 --> 01:29:04,964
Until one day, he kills
the wrong fucking people.

1493
01:29:07,550 --> 01:29:08,926
My people.

1494
01:29:12,847 --> 01:29:13,973
Relax.

1495
01:29:14,056 --> 01:29:16,517
I'm retrieving something
from my utility bag.

1496
01:29:16,600 --> 01:29:19,144
It's a goddamn fanny pack...

1497
01:29:19,228 --> 01:29:21,772
and you know it,
you sick son of a bitch!

1498
01:29:21,856 --> 01:29:23,524
The difference is night and day.

1499
01:29:25,359 --> 01:29:27,486
You remind me of my wife.

1500
01:29:27,653 --> 01:29:28,779
I'm sorry.

1501
01:29:29,196 --> 01:29:30,239
I said, "You remind me
of my wife."

1502
01:29:30,322 --> 01:29:31,615
No, I'm sorry
that you said that...

1503
01:29:31,699 --> 01:29:34,451
while making heavy eye contact
and applying lip balm.

1504
01:29:34,535 --> 01:29:35,703
She always struggled.

1505
01:29:36,829 --> 01:29:38,247
But she was funny...

1506
01:29:38,330 --> 01:29:40,833
and filtered her pain
through the prism of humor.

1507
01:29:41,709 --> 01:29:43,919
Something I could never master.

1508
01:29:44,837 --> 01:29:47,047
It was my fault she died.

1509
01:29:48,674 --> 01:29:51,343
It was my job
to stop people like him.

1510
01:29:52,386 --> 01:29:54,346
I came close a few times.

1511
01:29:58,559 --> 01:30:00,227
He wasn't too happy about that.

1512
01:30:01,937 --> 01:30:03,063
He was trying to hurt me...

1513
01:30:03,147 --> 01:30:05,107
and he knew exactly
how to do it.

1514
01:30:09,153 --> 01:30:10,821
Blessed are the wicked

1515
01:30:10,905 --> 01:30:12,489
who are healed by my hand.

1516
01:30:15,618 --> 01:30:17,036
He came into my home...

1517
01:30:17,995 --> 01:30:20,873
and took the only thing
that made it a home.

1518
01:30:25,085 --> 01:30:26,462
Sound familiar?

1519
01:30:27,504 --> 01:30:29,089
I'm sorry.

1520
01:30:29,173 --> 01:30:30,841
No, I'm really sorry.

1521
01:30:33,052 --> 01:30:35,179
But that isn't Russell.

1522
01:30:35,262 --> 01:30:37,097
- It doesn't have to be him.
- If you knew what I knew...

1523
01:30:37,181 --> 01:30:39,183
Yeah, he's got anger issues...

1524
01:30:39,266 --> 01:30:40,768
maybe a small
learning disability...

1525
01:30:40,851 --> 01:30:42,227
splash of diabetes...

1526
01:30:42,311 --> 01:30:43,604
but nothing that can't be fixed.

1527
01:30:43,687 --> 01:30:45,314
If you could go back...

1528
01:30:45,397 --> 01:30:48,067
and stop the people that took
your girl, would you?

1529
01:30:48,359 --> 01:30:49,568
No.

1530
01:30:49,652 --> 01:30:51,362
I'd buy them all
a bouquet of hand jobs.

1531
01:30:51,445 --> 01:30:53,197
Of course I fucking would!

1532
01:30:53,948 --> 01:30:55,032
But I wouldn't kill a kid.

1533
01:30:55,115 --> 01:30:57,117
I'm not asking you
to kill a kid!

1534
01:30:57,201 --> 01:30:58,744
I'll kill the kid.

1535
01:30:58,827 --> 01:31:02,289
I'm asking you to save
hundreds of other kids.

1536
01:31:02,373 --> 01:31:04,667
Russell's gonna burn down
that orphanage.

1537
01:31:04,750 --> 01:31:06,752
And I can imagine
your dead girlfriend...

1538
01:31:06,835 --> 01:31:09,088
would want you to do
the right thing, wouldn't she?

1539
01:31:10,089 --> 01:31:12,675
So, what's it gonna be,
handsome?

1540
01:31:13,342 --> 01:31:15,010
Give me a chance to save him.

1541
01:31:15,094 --> 01:31:16,512
- What?
- You said...

1542
01:31:16,595 --> 01:31:18,180
once he kills someone,
he gets a taste for it.

1543
01:31:18,263 --> 01:31:20,599
If we can get to him
before that happens...

1544
01:31:20,683 --> 01:31:22,309
promise you'll give me a chance

1545
01:31:22,393 --> 01:31:24,186
to put him on a different path.

1546
01:31:24,269 --> 01:31:25,437
Define "chance."

1547
01:31:25,521 --> 01:31:26,689
I don't know.
How long does it take

1548
01:31:26,772 --> 01:31:28,065
to save someone's soul?
That's not...

1549
01:31:28,148 --> 01:31:29,400
I'll give you 30 seconds.

1550
01:31:29,483 --> 01:31:31,485
- What? No!
- Best I can do.

1551
01:31:31,568 --> 01:31:32,861
Take it or leave it.

1552
01:31:43,330 --> 01:31:44,748
He's doing it!

1553
01:31:44,832 --> 01:31:46,375
Look at the little fella.
He's doing it.

1554
01:31:46,500 --> 01:31:48,335
There he goes.

1555
01:31:48,502 --> 01:31:49,920
Jesus Christ!

1556
01:31:50,004 --> 01:31:51,463
Just shirt-cocking it.

1557
01:31:53,507 --> 01:31:54,842
There you go, little fella.

1558
01:31:55,592 --> 01:31:56,927
Go on, you're doing it!

1559
01:31:57,344 --> 01:32:00,180
My beautiful, hairless,
Twizzler-legged baby boy.

1560
01:32:02,391 --> 01:32:03,475
Christ!

1561
01:32:03,559 --> 01:32:05,185
That's disturbing.

1562
01:32:05,269 --> 01:32:06,687
30 seconds.

1563
01:32:12,067 --> 01:32:13,569
Deal.
Deal.

1564
01:32:19,992 --> 01:32:23,037
Man, that sucks they didn't
have anything in your size.

1565
01:32:23,120 --> 01:32:25,080
I really wanted to match,
you know?

1566
01:32:25,164 --> 01:32:27,166
Being a menacing team.

1567
01:32:27,249 --> 01:32:28,375
Oh, man, it sucks.

1568
01:32:28,459 --> 01:32:30,044
That was some
cold-ass shit, kid.

1569
01:32:31,754 --> 01:32:34,256
And that is just
the first five steps

1570
01:32:34,339 --> 01:32:36,050
to a prostate-assisted orgasm.

1571
01:32:36,967 --> 01:32:38,385
Where the hell are we going?

1572
01:32:38,469 --> 01:32:39,720
You said it yourself.

1573
01:32:39,803 --> 01:32:42,723
Nothing can stop the
Juggernaut. We need backup.

1574
01:32:42,806 --> 01:32:45,559
I will bathe in the blood
of your enemies.

1575
01:32:49,897 --> 01:32:51,523
Can you turn off the music?

1576
01:32:52,524 --> 01:32:54,526
You'll do no such thing.

1577
01:32:54,693 --> 01:32:56,528
Why don't you just say it
in an Indian accent?

1578
01:32:56,612 --> 01:32:58,322
- I'm sorry?
- Apology accepted.

1579
01:32:58,405 --> 01:33:00,449
This is a side of you
I do not like.

1580
01:33:00,532 --> 01:33:01,533
Let me guess,

1581
01:33:01,617 --> 01:33:03,160
some of your best friends
in the future are Indian.

1582
01:33:03,452 --> 01:33:04,578
What the hell are you...?

1583
01:33:04,661 --> 01:33:06,580
Once again, intolerance rears
its ugly head.

1584
01:33:06,663 --> 01:33:07,915
I am so sorry.
It gets better.

1585
01:33:07,998 --> 01:33:09,541
I'm not a fucking racist, moron!

1586
01:33:09,625 --> 01:33:11,502
That's precisely
what a racist would say.

1587
01:33:11,710 --> 01:33:13,337
I'm with the old white guy
on this one.

1588
01:33:13,420 --> 01:33:14,630
And that's a twist.

1589
01:33:14,713 --> 01:33:15,839
When this is over...

1590
01:33:15,923 --> 01:33:18,092
I'm going to fuck you to death
with your own broken feet.

1591
01:33:18,175 --> 01:33:20,302
And a sexual predator, too.
That's rich.

1592
01:33:20,385 --> 01:33:21,762
I should have finished college.

1593
01:33:21,845 --> 01:33:22,930
So what exactly do you

1594
01:33:23,013 --> 01:33:24,014
do in the future, anyway?

1595
01:33:24,098 --> 01:33:25,307
Some kind of soldier?

1596
01:33:25,390 --> 01:33:27,184
Yeah, something like that.

1597
01:33:27,267 --> 01:33:29,436
I was a soldier.
Special Forces.

1598
01:33:29,520 --> 01:33:32,147
I bet 50 years from now,
we're bestest buddies.

1599
01:33:32,231 --> 01:33:34,191
50 years from now,
you're very dead.

1600
01:33:34,274 --> 01:33:36,652
Your entire generation fucked
this planet into a coma.

1601
01:33:36,735 --> 01:33:38,278
Boom!

1602
01:33:38,362 --> 01:33:39,613
Spoiler alert.

1603
01:33:40,864 --> 01:33:42,074
Planets.

1604
01:33:42,241 --> 01:33:43,784
Next time, Uber.

1605
01:33:43,867 --> 01:33:45,160
Here's a spoiler alert.

1606
01:33:46,328 --> 01:33:48,122
You're not a fucking hero.

1607
01:33:48,330 --> 01:33:52,042
You're just an annoying clown
dressed up as a sex toy.

1608
01:33:52,417 --> 01:33:53,585
Well, I got news for you.

1609
01:33:53,669 --> 01:33:54,962
My heart is in the right place.

1610
01:33:55,045 --> 01:33:56,547
Russell's not gonna kill anyone.

1611
01:33:56,630 --> 01:33:58,549
Because of me, he's gonna know
what real love looks like.

1612
01:33:58,632 --> 01:33:59,675
We're all going to die.

1613
01:33:59,758 --> 01:34:00,968
Because of you, I'll always know

1614
01:34:01,051 --> 01:34:02,928
what a grown man
with baby balls looks like.

1615
01:34:03,053 --> 01:34:05,347
I'm a grower, not a shower.

1616
01:34:05,514 --> 01:34:06,640
God, I wish this were a bus

1617
01:34:06,723 --> 01:34:07,850
where I could pull
the string and get out.

1618
01:34:07,933 --> 01:34:09,560
It's a good thing
Cable's not driving,

1619
01:34:09,643 --> 01:34:10,644
or you'd be in the back.

1620
01:34:10,853 --> 01:34:12,646
- I am in the back.
- Right here!

1621
01:34:31,373 --> 01:34:33,041
I made mistakes!

1622
01:34:33,500 --> 01:34:35,043
I wanna take them back!

1623
01:34:35,210 --> 01:34:38,088
You trusted me.
I took that trust...

1624
01:34:38,213 --> 01:34:39,631
and turned it into a glory hole

1625
01:34:39,715 --> 01:34:41,216
in an airport bathroom.

1626
01:34:41,300 --> 01:34:44,052
The one in Minneapolis.
You know the one.

1627
01:34:44,636 --> 01:34:47,181
But even you know I'm not
a complete piece of shit.

1628
01:34:47,264 --> 01:34:48,765
I was once an X-Man.

1629
01:34:48,849 --> 01:34:49,892
Trainee!

1630
01:34:54,563 --> 01:34:57,065
You're still using
my Velcro labels..

1631
01:34:57,149 --> 01:34:58,734
They do stick better than tape.

1632
01:34:58,817 --> 01:34:59,818
Hi, Wade!

1633
01:34:59,902 --> 01:35:00,903
Please don't.

1634
01:35:00,986 --> 01:35:03,739
Say whatever it is you're here
to say. Make it quick.

1635
01:35:03,822 --> 01:35:04,823
Right. Quick.

1636
01:35:04,907 --> 01:35:06,783
It's the kid.
Just like you, I let him down.

1637
01:35:06,867 --> 01:35:07,868
And just like me,

1638
01:35:07,951 --> 01:35:09,161
he's never had anyone
sacrifice anything for him...

1639
01:35:09,244 --> 01:35:10,495
because the whole world
wrote him off

1640
01:35:10,579 --> 01:35:11,955
as a piece of shit
a long time ago.

1641
01:35:12,039 --> 01:35:13,707
Look, he's teamed up
with the Juggernaut!

1642
01:35:13,790 --> 01:35:14,958
The Juggernaut!

1643
01:35:15,334 --> 01:35:17,044
Who's, like, my favorite
Marvel character ever...

1644
01:35:17,127 --> 01:35:19,296
And hi, Yukio! That was really
nice of you to say hi...

1645
01:35:19,379 --> 01:35:20,714
so I'm saying hi back.

1646
01:35:20,797 --> 01:35:22,132
You guys make
a super cute couple.

1647
01:35:22,216 --> 01:35:23,884
Yeah. Where was I?

1648
01:35:23,967 --> 01:35:25,802
Yeah. You should never
meet your heroes...

1649
01:35:25,886 --> 01:35:27,554
because, honestly,
he's a bit of a dick!

1650
01:35:27,638 --> 01:35:29,389
And like a lot of dicks,
he's hard as a rock...

1651
01:35:29,473 --> 01:35:30,682
and causes nothing but problems!

1652
01:35:30,766 --> 01:35:33,769
Look, you can stop the
Juggernaut. I know you can.

1653
01:35:33,852 --> 01:35:37,022
Do you know what would happen
to me if I helped you?

1654
01:35:37,105 --> 01:35:39,149
I would be disgraced.

1655
01:35:39,233 --> 01:35:41,235
You are a criminal, a fugitive.

1656
01:35:41,318 --> 01:35:42,819
But worst of all...

1657
01:35:42,903 --> 01:35:44,655
you broke my heart, Wade.

1658
01:35:46,323 --> 01:35:47,366
Then you know what?

1659
01:35:47,449 --> 01:35:48,951
Your heart's in
the wrong place, big guy.

1660
01:35:50,244 --> 01:35:52,913
Doing the right thing
is sometimes messy...

1661
01:35:52,996 --> 01:35:56,333
and fucked up, and not
particularly convenient!

1662
01:35:56,416 --> 01:35:59,503
So stay here
in Château de Virgin...

1663
01:35:59,586 --> 01:36:01,713
while we go get our fuck on!

1664
01:36:04,883 --> 01:36:06,260
You're doing great.

1665
01:36:11,932 --> 01:36:13,392
So you wear that helmet because

1666
01:36:13,475 --> 01:36:15,185
your brother
tries to read your mind?

1667
01:36:15,269 --> 01:36:18,480
Yeah, but he's in
a wheelchair, so even-steven.

1668
01:36:18,563 --> 01:36:21,024
Someone's coming.
It's Russell, sir.

1669
01:36:21,108 --> 01:36:23,026
And he's not alone.

1670
01:36:23,110 --> 01:36:24,778
Secure the children.

1671
01:36:27,197 --> 01:36:29,574
They will not replace us.

1672
01:36:29,992 --> 01:36:32,286
What do you say
we go fuck some shit up?

1673
01:36:32,828 --> 01:36:36,665
"Let's fuck some shit up"
is my legal middle name.

1674
01:36:40,002 --> 01:36:42,462
Watch my back.
I've got the old man.

1675
01:36:42,671 --> 01:36:44,214
Amen, brother.

1676
01:36:50,762 --> 01:36:52,264
Time to make the chimichangas.

1677
01:36:52,431 --> 01:36:54,057
30 seconds.

1678
01:36:54,683 --> 01:36:56,810
I finally know why I'm here.

1679
01:36:57,227 --> 01:36:59,146
I was raised in this place.

1680
01:36:59,229 --> 01:37:01,440
Well, not raised.
I was tortured.

1681
01:37:01,523 --> 01:37:04,359
It's your cosmic reason
for being here.

1682
01:37:04,443 --> 01:37:05,736
Shall we?
This is gonna be fun.

1683
01:37:05,819 --> 01:37:06,862
Yeah!

1684
01:37:06,945 --> 01:37:08,280
Hey! Been meaning
to ask you...

1685
01:37:08,363 --> 01:37:11,616
what's with the dirty,
disgusting hobo bear?

1686
01:37:11,700 --> 01:37:14,369
It's not dirt. It's the blood
of my dead daughter.

1687
01:37:14,911 --> 01:37:17,289
Are You Bear, God?
It's Me, Margaret.

1688
01:37:17,664 --> 01:37:19,041
Give me some.

1689
01:37:19,124 --> 01:37:20,625
They say
laughter heals anything...

1690
01:37:20,751 --> 01:37:21,835
except, of course, that.

1691
01:37:21,918 --> 01:37:23,128
We should just cue the music.

1692
01:37:48,278 --> 01:37:50,989
Welcome home, Russell.
We missed you.

1693
01:37:52,199 --> 01:37:53,200
Russell!

1694
01:37:53,283 --> 01:37:55,702
You don't need to do this!
Let's talk!

1695
01:37:56,745 --> 01:37:57,996
Why are you dressed
like the Unabomber?

1696
01:38:02,376 --> 01:38:03,377
That's why!

1697
01:38:03,460 --> 01:38:04,503
Told you this little fucker's
too far gone.

1698
01:38:04,586 --> 01:38:06,713
Zip it, Thanos!
We have a deal and you fuck...

1699
01:38:06,797 --> 01:38:08,757
Hey!

1700
01:38:09,299 --> 01:38:12,427
I'm gonna shove that
cab driver right up your ass.

1701
01:38:13,553 --> 01:38:15,722
My body and my hands
are so soft.

1702
01:38:15,806 --> 01:38:16,973
You should probably
head back to the car.

1703
01:38:17,099 --> 01:38:18,642
I think I'll head
back to the car.

1704
01:38:19,935 --> 01:38:22,604
It works best
when you pull the trigger.

1705
01:38:25,524 --> 01:38:26,817
That gun is amazing!

1706
01:38:28,151 --> 01:38:29,361
Say it!

1707
01:38:31,530 --> 01:38:34,533
You are an abomination!

1708
01:38:41,873 --> 01:38:45,127
Now, I'm gonna shove
the red guy up the old guy.

1709
01:38:45,210 --> 01:38:47,629
I believe him!
Every man for themselves!

1710
01:38:52,008 --> 01:38:53,093
Gotcha!

1711
01:38:53,885 --> 01:38:55,053
Beat it, midget!

1712
01:38:58,056 --> 01:39:00,767
Hey, big guy,
the sun's getting real low!

1713
01:39:01,184 --> 01:39:02,269
Shit fuck!

1714
01:39:16,158 --> 01:39:17,742
Come here, beautiful.

1715
01:39:35,844 --> 01:39:36,928
Say it!

1716
01:41:00,387 --> 01:41:01,471
You came for me.

1717
01:41:01,555 --> 01:41:02,973
I'm not giving up on you,

1718
01:41:03,056 --> 01:41:05,141
and you are not
giving up on that boy.

1719
01:41:05,225 --> 01:41:07,227
Who says that rules
aren't meant to be broken?

1720
01:41:07,310 --> 01:41:09,563
It's time to fight dirty.

1721
01:41:09,729 --> 01:41:11,064
Time to sweep the leg, Johnny.

1722
01:41:11,147 --> 01:41:13,900
Hey! Pick on someone
your own size!

1723
01:41:13,984 --> 01:41:16,027
That's such a you thing to say!

1724
01:41:16,111 --> 01:41:17,696
Go get him, tiger!

1725
01:41:18,113 --> 01:41:19,990
Big CGI fight coming up!

1726
01:41:43,054 --> 01:41:44,389
He's doing great.

1727
01:41:44,472 --> 01:41:45,682
Say it!

1728
01:41:49,853 --> 01:41:51,271
- Russell.
- Bingo!

1729
01:41:56,651 --> 01:41:58,612
You see that bus?

1730
01:41:58,695 --> 01:41:59,779
I'm gonna shove it up your ass.

1731
01:42:03,283 --> 01:42:05,243
That's right!
I'm fighting dirty!

1732
01:42:06,620 --> 01:42:07,579
Great!

1733
01:42:07,662 --> 01:42:08,663
There they are!
Those freaks!

1734
01:42:08,747 --> 01:42:10,332
A bunch of armed
pedophiles in nursing shoes.

1735
01:42:10,790 --> 01:42:12,459
Can I have one of those guns?

1736
01:42:13,001 --> 01:42:14,669
- No.
- That's fine.

1737
01:42:14,836 --> 01:42:16,671
Get off this property,
mutant scum!

1738
01:42:16,838 --> 01:42:17,839
I'm just gonna use this brick.

1739
01:42:18,590 --> 01:42:19,591
Maximum effort.

1740
01:42:25,722 --> 01:42:27,474
Who says you
can't go home again?

1741
01:42:44,616 --> 01:42:45,617
Yeah!

1742
01:42:47,827 --> 01:42:49,162
Say it.

1743
01:42:49,537 --> 01:42:52,582
Say what you said
every time you tortured me!

1744
01:42:53,124 --> 01:42:54,125
Say it!

1745
01:42:54,209 --> 01:42:57,212
Blessed are the wicked
who are healed by my hand!

1746
01:42:58,421 --> 01:43:00,048
Blessed are the wicked...

1747
01:43:00,590 --> 01:43:01,800
who are healed...

1748
01:43:02,300 --> 01:43:03,802
by my hand.

1749
01:43:21,861 --> 01:43:23,571
You commie motherfucker!

1750
01:43:50,640 --> 01:43:52,350
Oh, my God.
Did you feel that, too?

1751
01:43:53,226 --> 01:43:55,437
Only best buddies
execute pedophiles together.

1752
01:43:58,314 --> 01:44:00,525
You got 30 seconds,
you jabbering butt plug!

1753
01:44:00,692 --> 01:44:01,901
Now we're getting it.

1754
01:44:06,614 --> 01:44:08,825
I need a bus
to get you all out of here.

1755
01:44:14,164 --> 01:44:15,206
Orphans.

1756
01:44:16,374 --> 01:44:17,584
Oh, geez.

1757
01:44:19,002 --> 01:44:21,588
It's time to burn
for what you've done!

1758
01:44:21,755 --> 01:44:24,257
A child should not be burdened
with such power!

1759
01:44:33,057 --> 01:44:34,142
Russell! Wait!

1760
01:44:48,656 --> 01:44:50,658
Wait! He hasn't killed
anyone yet!

1761
01:44:50,825 --> 01:44:52,702
What more do you need to see?
Don't you fucking dare!

1762
01:44:52,869 --> 01:44:53,953
He's just a kid!

1763
01:44:54,120 --> 01:44:55,997
Tick, tock. Meter's running!

1764
01:45:08,718 --> 01:45:11,763
I'm gonna melt you down
and make a cock ring.

1765
01:45:32,158 --> 01:45:34,786
- I told you! Leave me alone!
- Come on!

1766
01:45:35,328 --> 01:45:36,454
Listen to me!

1767
01:45:59,686 --> 01:46:01,312
That's how we do it

1768
01:46:01,396 --> 01:46:02,856
in Mother Russia.

1769
01:46:05,191 --> 01:46:07,610
They say millennials are
the hardest to reach.

1770
01:46:08,987 --> 01:46:12,198
No.
You're doing amazing.

1771
01:46:13,533 --> 01:46:16,035
Damn, it feels good
to be a gangsta!

1772
01:46:16,452 --> 01:46:18,162
Go home, Wade!

1773
01:46:18,329 --> 01:46:20,164
You're ruining everything!

1774
01:46:25,503 --> 01:46:26,713
I'm getting good at this shit.

1775
01:46:26,880 --> 01:46:27,922
Go, go, go!

1776
01:46:31,426 --> 01:46:33,261
He dies tonight, Wade.

1777
01:46:33,428 --> 01:46:34,971
You can't stop me!

1778
01:46:35,930 --> 01:46:37,682
He even runs
like a fucking pervert.

1779
01:46:37,849 --> 01:46:40,602
Like an online predator
who lost his laptop.

1780
01:46:42,020 --> 01:46:43,396
There's one bullet left
in that gun.

1781
01:46:43,563 --> 01:46:45,440
Wait, wait, wait!
Please, just give me a second!

1782
01:46:45,607 --> 01:46:46,941
I got this.

1783
01:46:47,108 --> 01:46:49,235
- Russell!
- Stay back! Go home, Wade!

1784
01:46:49,402 --> 01:46:51,529
Let's talk. It doesn't
have to go this way!

1785
01:46:52,113 --> 01:46:53,406
That piece of shit...

1786
01:46:53,823 --> 01:46:55,450
he deserves to die
for what he did to you.

1787
01:46:55,617 --> 01:46:58,995
He hurt you badly.
Makes you wanna hurt others.

1788
01:46:59,871 --> 01:47:01,539
But if you kill him, he wins.

1789
01:47:01,706 --> 01:47:05,209
You become everything
he says you are, but worse.

1790
01:47:05,627 --> 01:47:07,086
You're just a kid.

1791
01:47:07,670 --> 01:47:09,297
You don't wanna hurt anyone.

1792
01:47:09,464 --> 01:47:10,590
How do you know what I want?

1793
01:47:10,757 --> 01:47:12,383
Because I've been inside you.

1794
01:47:13,051 --> 01:47:14,344
That came out wrong.

1795
01:47:14,969 --> 01:47:16,554
I've been inside your shoes.

1796
01:47:16,721 --> 01:47:18,473
Which is also off-putting.

1797
01:47:18,640 --> 01:47:20,058
It's not a great analogy.

1798
01:47:20,141 --> 01:47:21,559
The point is...

1799
01:47:22,018 --> 01:47:23,686
there are people...

1800
01:47:23,770 --> 01:47:26,689
There are people
in this fucking world...

1801
01:47:26,856 --> 01:47:29,442
besides him,
who will treat you right.

1802
01:47:29,609 --> 01:47:32,236
It isn't too late.
Don't do it.

1803
01:47:37,784 --> 01:47:40,161
I never should've left
you there.

1804
01:47:41,913 --> 01:47:43,790
I never should've left you
in that prison.

1805
01:47:50,880 --> 01:47:52,173
I can't trust you.

1806
01:47:53,883 --> 01:47:56,260
I can't trust anybody!

1807
01:48:05,269 --> 01:48:06,479
Wonderful kid.

1808
01:48:06,980 --> 01:48:08,523
You can't stop me, Wade!

1809
01:48:10,775 --> 01:48:12,902
I got one more idea.

1810
01:48:13,069 --> 01:48:15,947
It's just a really bad one,
even for me.

1811
01:48:16,030 --> 01:48:17,198
Wade, what are you doing?

1812
01:48:17,281 --> 01:48:18,908
All right. This is for
all the marbles, kid!

1813
01:48:19,701 --> 01:48:21,411
You're gonna kill
someone today...

1814
01:48:21,828 --> 01:48:23,121
Blessed are the wicked...

1815
01:48:23,287 --> 01:48:25,206
...then it's gotta be me.

1816
01:48:26,290 --> 01:48:28,209
...who are healed by my hand!

1817
01:48:31,337 --> 01:48:33,756
Fuck this!

1818
01:49:34,484 --> 01:49:37,445
Tell me they got that
in slow motion.

1819
01:49:42,450 --> 01:49:43,951
That's not good.

1820
01:49:45,536 --> 01:49:46,954
No, sir.

1821
01:49:54,587 --> 01:49:57,507
You sacrificed yourself for me.

1822
01:49:57,924 --> 01:49:59,050
Yeah.

1823
01:49:59,133 --> 01:50:01,344
And it was the best thing
I ever did.

1824
01:50:03,304 --> 01:50:05,389
I told you I care about you.

1825
01:50:05,473 --> 01:50:07,225
You're a good kid, Russell.

1826
01:50:08,935 --> 01:50:10,019
Hey.

1827
01:50:11,312 --> 01:50:12,522
The bear.

1828
01:50:12,605 --> 01:50:13,981
It worked.

1829
01:50:20,947 --> 01:50:22,448
Because of you.

1830
01:50:22,615 --> 01:50:24,909
No, Wade, because of you.

1831
01:50:25,785 --> 01:50:27,829
Stop, stop, stop!

1832
01:50:27,912 --> 01:50:29,080
Stop!

1833
01:50:30,248 --> 01:50:32,792
Just let it happen, okay?

1834
01:50:33,251 --> 01:50:36,170
I guess my heart was finally
in the right place.

1835
01:50:37,004 --> 01:50:39,423
That riddle is so fucked up.

1836
01:50:44,220 --> 01:50:46,514
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

1837
01:50:46,681 --> 01:50:47,807
Don't be. Don't be.

1838
01:50:47,890 --> 01:50:49,642
I've been trying to make
this happen for a while.

1839
01:50:50,309 --> 01:50:51,853
Please, just don't leave me.

1840
01:50:52,019 --> 01:50:53,521
I don't wanna die
without an audience.

1841
01:50:53,688 --> 01:50:55,189
We are not going anywhere.

1842
01:50:55,356 --> 01:50:57,441
Oh, God, I hope
the Academy is watching.

1843
01:50:57,525 --> 01:50:58,651
Just rest, okay?

1844
01:51:00,486 --> 01:51:01,571
Papa.

1845
01:51:03,781 --> 01:51:05,741
Papa, can you hear me?

1846
01:51:07,994 --> 01:51:14,000
Papa, can you find me
in the night?

1847
01:51:35,271 --> 01:51:36,522
Before I go...

1848
01:51:37,064 --> 01:51:38,774
Sorry, I got a bit more in me.

1849
01:51:39,358 --> 01:51:40,484
Domino.

1850
01:51:40,651 --> 01:51:45,156
I want you to have
my Adventure Time watch.

1851
01:51:47,742 --> 01:51:50,620
Turns out
that I'm the lucky one.

1852
01:51:51,370 --> 01:51:52,496
Thank you.

1853
01:51:53,831 --> 01:51:56,751
Hey, Sabrina, the Teenage Witch.

1854
01:51:57,126 --> 01:51:59,295
I liked you better
with your hair short.

1855
01:51:59,462 --> 01:52:00,630
Think everyone did.

1856
01:52:01,422 --> 01:52:04,133
- Hi, Yukio.
- Hi, Wade!

1857
01:52:06,177 --> 01:52:07,261
And you...

1858
01:52:07,803 --> 01:52:08,930
Chrome Bone.

1859
01:52:09,847 --> 01:52:12,225
I haven't always been
the best friend to you.

1860
01:52:12,808 --> 01:52:15,061
But you've always been
that to me.

1861
01:52:15,144 --> 01:52:16,520
So thank you.

1862
01:52:18,689 --> 01:52:20,274
Say "fuck" for me.

1863
01:52:21,108 --> 01:52:22,360
Just once. Come on,

1864
01:52:22,443 --> 01:52:24,028
we'll do it together.
It's no big deal.

1865
01:52:24,111 --> 01:52:27,114
Here we go. One, two, three.
F... F... F...

1866
01:52:27,198 --> 01:52:28,199
Fuck.

1867
01:52:28,366 --> 01:52:31,702
Enjoy hell, swamp mouth.

1868
01:52:33,037 --> 01:52:35,289
And you, Cable.

1869
01:52:36,165 --> 01:52:39,835
You get back to your family.
You tell 'em Wade says hi.

1870
01:52:40,711 --> 01:52:43,923
And promise me.
Promise me one thing.

1871
01:52:44,382 --> 01:52:45,758
That you'll start
judging people...

1872
01:52:45,841 --> 01:52:47,176
not by the color of their skin,

1873
01:52:47,260 --> 01:52:49,136
but by the content
of their character.

1874
01:52:49,887 --> 01:52:51,472
- Jesus.
- R-Dog?

1875
01:52:52,682 --> 01:52:54,600
There you are. Hey!

1876
01:52:55,184 --> 01:52:56,936
You're a superhero now, bubba.

1877
01:52:57,436 --> 01:53:00,398
That's why it's high time
that you had a super suit.

1878
01:53:00,481 --> 01:53:01,857
This one is yours.

1879
01:53:01,941 --> 01:53:03,651
You might wanna
get it steam cleaned.

1880
01:53:03,734 --> 01:53:05,111
Especially around the pants.

1881
01:53:05,194 --> 01:53:06,904
And let it out
a little in the waist.

1882
01:53:07,863 --> 01:53:08,864
But, hey.

1883
01:53:09,907 --> 01:53:10,992
Look.

1884
01:53:11,284 --> 01:53:13,911
Family is not an F-word.

1885
01:53:14,662 --> 01:53:15,955
All right?

1886
01:53:16,038 --> 01:53:17,915
There's one out there for you.

1887
01:53:18,499 --> 01:53:20,209
Just keep looking, okay?

1888
01:53:23,713 --> 01:53:26,465
Guys, for a second there...

1889
01:53:27,300 --> 01:53:29,427
we made a pretty good team.

1890
01:53:44,483 --> 01:53:46,485
It's so hard to go.

1891
01:53:47,987 --> 01:53:50,364
I just love being around
you guys so much.

1892
01:53:51,449 --> 01:53:52,700
So, so much.

1893
01:53:54,827 --> 01:53:56,996
No, I can feel it now.
Here it comes, yeah.

1894
01:53:57,705 --> 01:54:01,459
I feel the soul
exiting the husk.

1895
01:54:01,542 --> 01:54:02,543
Yeah.

1896
01:54:04,420 --> 01:54:06,255
Can you see it?

1897
01:54:06,964 --> 01:54:09,133
Do you see
that beautiful bright light?

1898
01:54:10,593 --> 01:54:11,761
There it is.

1899
01:54:18,017 --> 01:54:19,226
That's the sun.

1900
01:54:19,310 --> 01:54:21,145
Don't stare directly into that.

1901
01:54:21,228 --> 01:54:22,646
I just have a few final words.

1902
01:54:24,899 --> 01:54:26,275
Woodpecker.

1903
01:54:27,068 --> 01:54:28,402
Gingivitis.

1904
01:54:30,446 --> 01:54:31,822
Codswallop.

1905
01:54:36,160 --> 01:54:38,120
Do You Want to Build a Snowman?

1906
01:55:53,112 --> 01:55:54,280
Sorry I'm late.

1907
01:55:54,363 --> 01:55:56,031
There was a bunch

1908
01:55:56,115 --> 01:55:57,408
of handicapable children
who were stuck in a tree.

1909
01:55:57,491 --> 01:55:58,701
- No.
- No.

1910
01:55:59,785 --> 01:56:02,455
- But I did have to help a kid.
- Yeah.

1911
01:56:02,913 --> 01:56:04,790
- He's got a terrible name.
- It's just awful.

1912
01:56:04,874 --> 01:56:05,875
I tried to tell him.

1913
01:56:08,210 --> 01:56:09,628
Is this heaven?

1914
01:56:10,504 --> 01:56:11,714
It is now.

1915
01:56:15,176 --> 01:56:17,052
I am so sorry.

1916
01:56:17,887 --> 01:56:19,221
It's okay.

1917
01:56:39,074 --> 01:56:40,951
I missed you so much.

1918
01:56:46,540 --> 01:56:48,209
What is it? What's wrong?

1919
01:56:50,127 --> 01:56:51,629
It's not time.

1920
01:56:52,254 --> 01:56:54,131
What do you mean it's not time?

1921
01:56:54,298 --> 01:56:55,799
I'm here, I made it.

1922
01:56:55,966 --> 01:56:57,635
- You can't stay.
- No, no, no.

1923
01:56:57,718 --> 01:57:00,346
I'm staying. I'm not going
anywhere without you.

1924
01:57:00,429 --> 01:57:01,430
It's okay.

1925
01:57:01,931 --> 01:57:04,767
There's a time for us.
It's just not now.

1926
01:57:05,768 --> 01:57:08,229
- They need you.
- Who?

1927
01:57:10,272 --> 01:57:11,565
Your F-word.

1928
01:57:12,816 --> 01:57:13,817
Why?

1929
01:57:13,901 --> 01:57:14,902
You'll find out.

1930
01:57:16,153 --> 01:57:17,696
It's all right. I'll be here.

1931
01:57:19,073 --> 01:57:21,200
It's pretty fucking
awesome up here.

1932
01:57:21,909 --> 01:57:23,744
I can have anything I want.

1933
01:57:23,827 --> 01:57:25,955
Can every day be
International Women's Day?

1934
01:57:26,038 --> 01:57:27,414
It is heaven.

1935
01:57:27,623 --> 01:57:28,874
I love you.

1936
01:57:31,377 --> 01:57:34,129
I know. I love you, too.

1937
01:57:34,713 --> 01:57:36,131
Now, go.

1938
01:57:37,007 --> 01:57:39,009
Go on. Go, get out of here.

1939
01:57:40,052 --> 01:57:41,053
Go.

1940
01:57:43,847 --> 01:57:44,848
Hey!

1941
01:57:47,851 --> 01:57:50,020
Kiss me like you miss me, Red.

1942
01:57:50,646 --> 01:57:51,772
Well, come here.

1943
01:58:11,125 --> 01:58:12,751
Don't fuck Elvis.

1944
01:58:12,876 --> 01:58:14,628
- Too late.
- I'm sorry?

1945
01:58:24,138 --> 01:58:25,347
Time to make the chimichangas.

1946
01:58:25,431 --> 01:58:26,515
30 seconds.

1947
01:58:26,599 --> 01:58:27,808
Hey. Been meaning
to ask you...

1948
01:58:27,891 --> 01:58:30,352
what's with the creepy,
dirty hobo bear?

1949
01:58:30,436 --> 01:58:32,187
It's my daughter's teddy bear.

1950
01:58:32,646 --> 01:58:33,939
Her name's Hope.

1951
01:58:34,231 --> 01:58:35,357
Well...

1952
01:58:36,191 --> 01:58:38,068
What are you doing?

1953
01:58:38,152 --> 01:58:39,737
Somebody swiped right.

1954
01:58:52,541 --> 01:58:54,918
Tell me they got that
in slow motion.

1955
01:58:58,255 --> 01:59:00,007
You sacrificed yourself for me.

1956
01:59:00,090 --> 01:59:01,592
It would seem I...

1957
01:59:06,180 --> 01:59:08,515
Genuine, high-grade lead.

1958
01:59:10,434 --> 01:59:13,437
You time-sliding son of a bitch!

1959
01:59:13,520 --> 01:59:15,105
You did this for me?

1960
01:59:16,982 --> 01:59:19,485
Wait. You can't go back.

1961
01:59:20,110 --> 01:59:21,362
You used the last of your fuel.

1962
01:59:21,445 --> 01:59:23,155
What about your girl, your wife?

1963
01:59:23,238 --> 01:59:26,492
Now, my family's safe.
And I didn't do it for you.

1964
01:59:27,951 --> 01:59:30,371
No, I'm gonna stick around
for a while...

1965
01:59:30,454 --> 01:59:31,664
and make sure the world

1966
01:59:31,747 --> 01:59:33,457
doesn't shit itself
into oblivion.

1967
01:59:34,166 --> 01:59:37,044
No. You did it for me.

1968
01:59:37,795 --> 01:59:39,129
No, I didn't.

1969
01:59:39,296 --> 01:59:40,673
- You did.
- I really didn't.

1970
01:59:40,756 --> 01:59:42,549
- Pretty sure you did.
- No, I'm positive I didn't.

1971
01:59:42,633 --> 01:59:44,385
Fine. All right,
let's flip a coin. Okay?

1972
01:59:44,468 --> 01:59:47,179
Heads, you did it for me.
Tails, you did it for me.

1973
01:59:47,262 --> 01:59:49,682
I'm not even gonna look,
because you did it for me.

1974
01:59:50,099 --> 01:59:51,100
Say it again.

1975
01:59:51,266 --> 01:59:52,810
- He did it for me.
- Jesus.

1976
01:59:52,893 --> 01:59:54,645
- We must get the collar off.
- Forget it. It's no use.

1977
01:59:54,728 --> 01:59:56,605
These collars
don't just come off.

1978
01:59:56,689 --> 01:59:57,690
Wade.

1979
01:59:58,232 --> 01:59:59,858
I have an idea.

1980
02:00:00,192 --> 02:00:02,277
No, no, no!
Let's not do that. Please!

1981
02:00:02,361 --> 02:00:04,738
I'd rather die of cancer.
Let's just...

1982
02:00:04,822 --> 02:00:07,950
Oh, God! They do say the pen
is grosser than the sword.

1983
02:00:08,033 --> 02:00:10,285
We need the code.

1984
02:00:10,369 --> 02:00:12,246
Try seven?

1985
02:00:12,329 --> 02:00:13,872
Settle down, Captain Lucky.

1986
02:00:13,956 --> 02:00:15,374
It's not gonna be one number.

1987
02:00:15,457 --> 02:00:16,542
Oh, God, that's lazy writing.

1988
02:00:17,543 --> 02:00:18,877
I still got it.

1989
02:00:21,922 --> 02:00:23,882
Put that back
in your prison wallet.

1990
02:00:25,592 --> 02:00:27,469
I don't know how to thank you.

1991
02:00:27,553 --> 02:00:29,054
But I do know how to hug you.

1992
02:00:29,513 --> 02:00:30,764
- No.
- Yes.

1993
02:00:30,848 --> 02:00:32,307
Here we go. Bring it in.

1994
02:00:32,391 --> 02:00:33,392
Come on.

1995
02:00:33,517 --> 02:00:34,810
Pelvis to pelvis.

1996
02:00:34,977 --> 02:00:36,228
Let's go tip to tip.

1997
02:00:36,395 --> 02:00:38,897
There we go.
The kids call this docking.

1998
02:00:40,649 --> 02:00:41,775
Is there a knife in my dick?

1999
02:00:41,859 --> 02:00:44,027
There's a knife in your dick.
I'm just gonna back up now.

2000
02:00:44,111 --> 02:00:45,946
- Yeah, yeah.
- No need to go full Yentl.

2001
02:00:46,029 --> 02:00:48,699
Gonna pretend
like that never happened.

2002
02:00:48,866 --> 02:00:50,784
Let's go home, Russell.

2003
02:00:54,455 --> 02:00:56,206
All you dirty mutants

2004
02:00:56,290 --> 02:00:58,709
are gonna rot in hell
with the boy!

2005
02:00:58,876 --> 02:01:01,837
Your souls
are beyond redemption!

2006
02:01:02,004 --> 02:01:03,255
Let's see your soul, perv!

2007
02:01:03,338 --> 02:01:06,133
No, no! No! No more!
We're better than that!

2008
02:01:06,216 --> 02:01:07,384
We're better than him!

2009
02:01:07,468 --> 02:01:10,137
No more senseless violence!
No more bloodshed!

2010
02:01:10,220 --> 02:01:11,764
We'll let karma
take care of him.

2011
02:01:11,847 --> 02:01:14,850
The day of reckoning is here!

2012
02:01:24,193 --> 02:01:26,195
I'm gonna miss him.
He seemed great.

2013
02:01:27,571 --> 02:01:29,072
Courage, motherfuckers!

2014
02:01:29,239 --> 02:01:30,491
And karma, motherfucker.

2015
02:01:30,574 --> 02:01:32,117
I could hear you
coming the last 30 seconds.

2016
02:01:32,201 --> 02:01:34,161
I could barely keep
a straight face.

2017
02:01:34,244 --> 02:01:36,038
I want some more.

2018
02:01:36,205 --> 02:01:37,873
I bet you do, Brown Panther.

2019
02:01:37,956 --> 02:01:40,959
We should leave
before Fuckernaut wakes up.

2020
02:01:41,543 --> 02:01:43,670
Good call.
You guys coming with us?

2021
02:01:43,837 --> 02:01:45,756
No, we'll get the kids
back to the mansion.

2022
02:01:45,839 --> 02:01:47,132
Besides, we're X-Men.

2023
02:01:47,424 --> 02:01:49,968
No, you're X-People.

2024
02:01:50,135 --> 02:01:51,428
You're exhausting.

2025
02:01:51,512 --> 02:01:53,180
I see what you did there.
Puns.

2026
02:01:53,347 --> 02:01:54,723
Our door's always open.

2027
02:01:54,807 --> 02:01:56,558
That's kind, but
I'm not ready to date again.

2028
02:01:56,642 --> 02:01:57,643
Let alone two women.

2029
02:01:58,769 --> 02:02:00,437
God, you're a douche.

2030
02:02:00,521 --> 02:02:02,606
- Bye, Wade!
- Bye, Yukio!

2031
02:02:05,359 --> 02:02:06,401
What do you get

2032
02:02:06,485 --> 02:02:07,569
when you take
eight feet of chrome...

2033
02:02:07,653 --> 02:02:08,779
one pinch of courage...

2034
02:02:08,862 --> 02:02:10,072
a cup of good luck...

2035
02:02:10,155 --> 02:02:11,657
a dab of racism...

2036
02:02:11,740 --> 02:02:12,908
a splash of diabetes...

2037
02:02:12,991 --> 02:02:15,327
and a wheelbarrow
full of stage four cancer?

2038
02:02:15,744 --> 02:02:17,913
Answer: a family.

2039
02:02:18,497 --> 02:02:21,583
See? I didn't lie
what kind of film this was.

2040
02:02:21,667 --> 02:02:22,960
If there's anything
you take away today...

2041
02:02:23,043 --> 02:02:26,171
other than the need to Google,
"What the fuck is dubstep?"...

2042
02:02:26,255 --> 02:02:29,049
it's that we all need
to belong to someone.

2043
02:04:26,124 --> 02:04:27,834
How something so small generates

2044
02:04:27,918 --> 02:04:29,461
enough energy
to reverse time is...

2045
02:04:29,544 --> 02:04:31,880
Just fix it, Eleven,

2046
02:04:31,964 --> 02:04:34,216
or I'll take it
to the Genius Bar.

2047
02:04:34,299 --> 02:04:35,467
Cable's gonna kill you
when he finds out.

2048
02:04:35,550 --> 02:04:36,551
Never heard of him.

2049
02:04:36,635 --> 02:04:38,095
Why do you think
I'm helping him?

2050
02:04:39,388 --> 02:04:41,598
The Lord works
in mysterious ways,

2051
02:04:41,682 --> 02:04:43,934
don't I? A good day.

2052
02:04:44,685 --> 02:04:45,686
Bye, Wade!

2053
02:04:46,186 --> 02:04:47,187
Bye, Yukio!

2054
02:04:48,522 --> 02:04:50,732
That was probably a bad idea.

2055
02:04:51,066 --> 02:04:52,192
What have we done?

2056
02:05:10,627 --> 02:05:12,629
I hope we sharpened
the cream cheese spreader.

2057
02:05:22,806 --> 02:05:24,266
I'll be right back!

2058
02:05:26,226 --> 02:05:28,770
We're definitely naming
our kid Cher!

2059
02:05:31,982 --> 02:05:33,233
Peter!

2060
02:05:33,316 --> 02:05:34,860
X-Force!

2061
02:05:34,943 --> 02:05:37,154
Walk away! Just walk away!

2062
02:05:38,030 --> 02:05:39,865
- But we're X-Force!
- Nope! We're not.

2063
02:05:40,073 --> 02:05:41,408
X-Force is just a marketing tool

2064
02:05:41,491 --> 02:05:42,743
designed by Fox executives...

2065
02:05:42,826 --> 02:05:44,494
to keep Josh Brolin employed.

2066
02:05:44,578 --> 02:05:45,871
It doesn't exist.

2067
02:05:46,121 --> 02:05:49,332
All right, well,
this has been pretty scary!

2068
02:05:49,499 --> 02:05:51,043
And I need to feed my cat!

2069
02:05:51,209 --> 02:05:53,587
Go home, Sugarbear. Go home.

2070
02:05:53,754 --> 02:05:57,007
Okay. Will you give
Domino my email?

2071
02:06:06,183 --> 02:06:08,060
Wade, is that you?

2072
02:06:10,312 --> 02:06:11,646
I guess Stryker finally

2073
02:06:11,730 --> 02:06:13,106
figured out how to shut you up.

2074
02:06:19,696 --> 02:06:22,949
Hey! It's me!
Don't scratch!

2075
02:06:23,116 --> 02:06:25,118
Just cleaning up the timelines!

2076
02:06:25,202 --> 02:06:28,997
Look, eventually you're
going to hang up the claws...

2077
02:06:29,081 --> 02:06:31,333
and it's gonna make
a lot of people very sad.

2078
02:06:32,793 --> 02:06:34,419
But one day, your old pal
Wade's gonna ask you...

2079
02:06:34,503 --> 02:06:36,463
to get back in the saddle again.

2080
02:06:37,339 --> 02:06:39,883
And when he does, say yes.

2081
02:06:41,134 --> 02:06:43,095
Right.

2082
02:06:44,012 --> 02:06:45,305
Love you!

2083
02:06:47,682 --> 02:06:49,309
Goddamn, that's beautiful.

2084
02:06:56,691 --> 02:06:58,527
You're welcome, Canada.

2085
02:07:11,039 --> 02:07:12,207
Boy howdy.

2086
02:07:14,084 --> 02:07:16,962
Hi. This is a toughie.

2087
02:07:17,045 --> 02:07:18,046
Yeesh.

2088
02:07:18,338 --> 02:07:20,757
Yes. You're already
practicing your salute?

2089
02:07:21,967 --> 02:07:24,761
Yes, you are. Well, we'll
take care of that, won't we?

2090
02:07:24,845 --> 02:07:27,639
Jesus Christ! This is
so much harder than I thought.

2091
02:07:28,473 --> 02:07:30,058
I'm going to hell.

2092
02:07:30,142 --> 02:07:31,726
That makes two of us.

2093
02:07:31,893 --> 02:07:32,978
You can do this.

2094
02:07:33,145 --> 02:07:36,148
This is crazy. This is crazy.
This is crazy. This is crazy.

2095
02:07:36,231 --> 02:07:37,399
All right.

2096
02:07:44,739 --> 02:07:46,658
Maximum effort.

2097
02:13:24,829 --> 02:13:27,081
That's okay.
Let me see here.

2098
02:13:27,165 --> 02:13:28,625
Oh, God.

2099
02:13:28,708 --> 02:13:30,627
That's why you're
such a little bastard.

2100
02:13:30,710 --> 02:13:32,629
No one's ever changed you.

2101
02:13:33,129 --> 02:13:35,840
Yeah, you got a big, old
stinky in there, don't you?

2102
02:13:35,924 --> 02:13:38,384
God, it smells like
Hitler's anus...

2103
02:13:38,760 --> 02:13:41,304
which would makes sense,
wouldn't it? Yeah.

2104
02:13:41,387 --> 02:13:42,514
I think we both know

2105
02:13:42,597 --> 02:13:43,723
I don't have
what it takes to do this...

2106
02:13:43,806 --> 02:13:46,184
so I'm just gonna change
your diaper real quick...

2107
02:13:46,267 --> 02:13:48,144
and then I'm gonna come back
with my friend, Cable.

2108
02:13:48,228 --> 02:13:49,562
He loves killing kids.