1 00:00:07,379 --> 00:00:11,137 Father, we are gathered here for this opportunity to share 2 00:00:11,241 --> 00:00:12,689 a testimony 3 00:00:12,793 --> 00:00:15,413 that Terry is given the privilege to speak 4 00:00:15,517 --> 00:00:17,931 what has kept her imprisoned, 5 00:00:18,034 --> 00:00:20,793 and that she has the opportunity to be set free. 6 00:00:23,620 --> 00:00:27,034 I do have nightmares about Russell. 7 00:00:28,379 --> 00:00:31,000 They're vivid nightmares. 8 00:00:32,896 --> 00:00:34,827 He's trying to choke me 9 00:00:34,931 --> 00:00:36,965 and get on top of me. 10 00:00:40,103 --> 00:00:42,448 We thank you, Father God, for your holy spirit 11 00:00:42,551 --> 00:00:43,620 to be in this place. 12 00:00:44,758 --> 00:00:47,517 TERRY: Oh, Jeff's a man of God. 13 00:00:47,620 --> 00:00:49,137 Jeff gives me strength. 14 00:00:50,344 --> 00:00:52,172 He... 15 00:00:52,275 --> 00:00:54,689 tries to help me remember. 16 00:00:56,793 --> 00:01:00,000 I ask for your anointing to fall upon this place, 17 00:01:00,103 --> 00:01:04,482 to be prevalent, and to be an anointed filming 18 00:01:04,586 --> 00:01:06,758 of Terry's testimony. 19 00:01:06,862 --> 00:01:09,275 In Jesus' name I pray it, amen. 20 00:01:09,379 --> 00:01:10,931 ALL: Amen. 21 00:01:17,137 --> 00:01:18,758 Prayer, for me, 22 00:01:20,172 --> 00:01:23,344 uh, relieves anxiety. 23 00:01:23,448 --> 00:01:25,172 No one understands 24 00:01:28,551 --> 00:01:31,379 what I feel and what I felt. 25 00:01:31,482 --> 00:01:32,655 I was a prisoner. 26 00:01:34,206 --> 00:01:37,172 I have mental disabilities. 27 00:01:37,275 --> 00:01:40,448 I blame Russell for my mental situation. 28 00:01:41,620 --> 00:01:45,931 He took away my sense of being. 29 00:01:47,033 --> 00:01:49,137 He took my mind. 30 00:01:49,241 --> 00:01:52,620 I just feel like I'm a nobody emotionally, 31 00:01:54,344 --> 00:01:56,172 mentally. 32 00:01:56,275 --> 00:01:58,137 I lost everything. 33 00:01:58,241 --> 00:02:00,551 I lost my own person. 34 00:02:00,655 --> 00:02:01,793 I lost me. 35 00:02:03,896 --> 00:02:05,931 That's when I learned that 36 00:02:06,034 --> 00:02:07,482 he is a monster. 37 00:02:10,655 --> 00:02:13,620 [The Paper Chase's "What's So Amazing About Grace?" plays] 38 00:02:13,724 --> 00:02:16,000 [strings continue playing sinister tune] 39 00:02:16,103 --> 00:02:17,896 [static crackling] 40 00:02:20,344 --> 00:02:22,827 [knock at door] [creaking] 41 00:02:22,931 --> 00:02:28,241 -[banging on door] -[creaking] 42 00:02:28,344 --> 00:02:32,344 -[banging on door] -[creaking] 43 00:02:32,448 --> 00:02:35,482 [water dripping] 44 00:02:35,586 --> 00:02:38,344 [banging on door] [creaking] 45 00:02:38,448 --> 00:02:40,379 [sinister chord strikes] 46 00:02:50,137 --> 00:02:51,620 God. 47 00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:25,103 That was my life. 48 00:03:25,206 --> 00:03:26,620 Pieces. 49 00:03:30,724 --> 00:03:33,655 Pretending that everything was okay. 50 00:03:33,758 --> 00:03:35,620 To see his face just 51 00:03:35,724 --> 00:03:37,689 triggers in my mind. 52 00:03:37,793 --> 00:03:40,000 You know, he did this to you. He did this to you. 53 00:03:42,172 --> 00:03:44,000 You know, some people, they say, 54 00:03:44,103 --> 00:03:46,724 "Why can't you just let go and let it be?" 55 00:03:46,827 --> 00:03:49,310 Nobody understands why I can't. 56 00:03:49,413 --> 00:03:52,206 To look at him brings back memories. 57 00:03:56,206 --> 00:04:00,758 I met Russell in 1987 while I was working 58 00:04:00,862 --> 00:04:02,862 at a doctor's office. 59 00:04:02,965 --> 00:04:03,965 Excuse me. 60 00:04:04,068 --> 00:04:07,000 TERRY: Russell came in to have a tattoo removed. 61 00:04:07,103 --> 00:04:10,206 Russell would tell me how pretty I was. 62 00:04:10,310 --> 00:04:13,137 He made me feel very, very special. 63 00:04:13,241 --> 00:04:15,000 He made me feel like a person, 64 00:04:15,103 --> 00:04:18,310 because I had a hard family growing up. 65 00:04:18,413 --> 00:04:21,344 It was very volatile. 66 00:04:21,447 --> 00:04:26,448 The first time I saw Russell was, oh, my God, he's the bomb. 67 00:04:26,551 --> 00:04:28,965 He's nicely dressed, 68 00:04:29,068 --> 00:04:32,034 hair is all, you know, 69 00:04:32,137 --> 00:04:35,172 manicured and clean cut. 70 00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:38,448 He asked me if I would go on a date with him. 71 00:04:38,551 --> 00:04:40,000 You got any plans this weekend? 72 00:04:42,241 --> 00:04:43,620 TERRY: I promptly said yes, 73 00:04:43,724 --> 00:04:46,206 and I gave Russell my telephone number. 74 00:04:47,758 --> 00:04:50,620 He would open doors, 75 00:04:50,724 --> 00:04:53,896 send me flowers, and I just thought 76 00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:56,206 he could take care of me. 77 00:04:56,310 --> 00:04:59,448 I thought Russell would be my knight in shining armor. 78 00:05:01,724 --> 00:05:02,862 AS TERRY: Call me. 79 00:05:07,172 --> 00:05:10,000 Not knowing behind those 80 00:05:10,103 --> 00:05:12,931 baby blue eyes was the enemy. 81 00:05:35,965 --> 00:05:40,034 On my first date with Russell, we were walking around. 82 00:05:41,689 --> 00:05:43,793 Someone behind us 83 00:05:43,896 --> 00:05:45,310 grabbed my bum. 84 00:05:45,413 --> 00:05:46,551 Hey! 85 00:05:46,655 --> 00:05:48,551 TERRY: I told him somebody touched me. 86 00:05:51,586 --> 00:05:55,034 Russell just turned around and knocked him out cold. 87 00:05:59,551 --> 00:06:01,379 And he asked his partner, did he want 88 00:06:01,482 --> 00:06:04,517 to be knocked out like that, too? 89 00:06:04,620 --> 00:06:08,000 And the guy's like, "No, I didn't do anything wrong." 90 00:06:09,827 --> 00:06:13,137 He's claimed that he loved me, 91 00:06:14,413 --> 00:06:16,758 and he just did it to protect me. 92 00:06:19,172 --> 00:06:22,655 I had mixed emotions about Russell and his demeanor 93 00:06:22,758 --> 00:06:25,172 changing at a flip of a switch. 94 00:06:25,275 --> 00:06:27,068 I was very shocked. 95 00:06:27,172 --> 00:06:28,689 Part of me was scared. 96 00:06:29,931 --> 00:06:32,448 That should have shown a trigger to me. 97 00:06:32,551 --> 00:06:34,241 But I was so stupid. 98 00:06:34,344 --> 00:06:35,655 I wasn't looking at that. 99 00:06:35,758 --> 00:06:39,724 I was looking at him and his feelings for me. 100 00:06:41,413 --> 00:06:43,482 I let it go, 101 00:06:43,586 --> 00:06:47,655 because I still wanted him in my life. 102 00:06:47,758 --> 00:06:52,068 I just thought I found my -- my mate, and it just... 103 00:06:52,172 --> 00:06:55,482 just all spiraled down from there. 104 00:07:07,275 --> 00:07:12,551 He enticed me to come live with him in his little home, 105 00:07:12,655 --> 00:07:15,448 and that's when all the... 106 00:07:15,551 --> 00:07:18,793 weird stuff started spilling out. 107 00:07:20,034 --> 00:07:21,413 Yeah, everything's good. 108 00:07:21,517 --> 00:07:24,862 When my family would call to talk to me, 109 00:07:24,965 --> 00:07:28,793 Russell would tell them that I did not want to talk to them. 110 00:07:28,896 --> 00:07:30,275 I couldn't talk to them. 111 00:07:31,724 --> 00:07:32,862 Don't call here anymore. 112 00:07:36,724 --> 00:07:39,482 Russell didn't want anything to do with my family. 113 00:07:39,586 --> 00:07:41,724 My parents did not like Russell at all, 114 00:07:42,827 --> 00:07:45,241 and he didn't like them, 115 00:07:45,344 --> 00:07:50,137 because he thought that they were trying to control me. 116 00:07:52,551 --> 00:07:55,344 Russell liked to have me all to himself, 117 00:07:55,448 --> 00:07:56,620 just me and him. 118 00:08:03,275 --> 00:08:06,862 One day, he came home and he told me 119 00:08:06,965 --> 00:08:11,034 that he had a marriage license 120 00:08:11,137 --> 00:08:13,034 for us to be married. 121 00:08:14,344 --> 00:08:15,758 Got a marriage licence for us. 122 00:08:17,241 --> 00:08:18,517 We talked about this. 123 00:08:20,620 --> 00:08:23,931 TERRY: I was like, I'm not ready for marriage right now, 124 00:08:24,034 --> 00:08:27,310 and he told me it had a 30-day expiration date. 125 00:08:28,586 --> 00:08:32,068 I felt like he was pushing me to do it. 126 00:08:32,172 --> 00:08:33,758 You want to get married or not, it's as simple as that. 127 00:08:37,034 --> 00:08:39,241 You know, now or never, now or never. 128 00:08:41,034 --> 00:08:44,136 Well, at that time, I found out we were gonna have a child. 129 00:08:45,689 --> 00:08:47,000 Okay, well... 130 00:08:47,103 --> 00:08:48,310 TERRY: I grew up in a Catholic church. 131 00:08:48,413 --> 00:08:49,551 Can I see that? 132 00:08:52,413 --> 00:08:54,206 I felt pressured. 133 00:08:55,655 --> 00:08:57,896 You do the deed, you gotta 134 00:08:58,000 --> 00:09:00,000 make a family out of it. 135 00:09:01,793 --> 00:09:05,172 I did go ahead and get married, 136 00:09:05,275 --> 00:09:07,413 because we were expecting. 137 00:09:09,241 --> 00:09:11,620 But the only persons he invited to 138 00:09:11,724 --> 00:09:15,448 our wedding was his mother and father. 139 00:09:15,551 --> 00:09:18,517 My family didn't even know I was getting married, 140 00:09:20,103 --> 00:09:22,689 because I wasn't allowed to talk to them. 141 00:09:22,793 --> 00:09:26,034 Russell thought that I was his property. 142 00:09:27,758 --> 00:09:31,034 I thought it would change Russell to have a family, 143 00:09:33,206 --> 00:09:35,137 to have children. 144 00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:36,931 I just wanted that love, 145 00:09:37,034 --> 00:09:40,724 but that was the starting point of things just 146 00:09:40,827 --> 00:09:42,862 going to hell. 147 00:09:46,068 --> 00:09:48,241 My biggest regret 148 00:09:48,344 --> 00:09:50,413 was to marry him. 149 00:09:50,517 --> 00:09:54,379 To this day, I don't know why I didn't see the signs. 150 00:10:07,241 --> 00:10:09,275 I was celebrating 151 00:10:09,379 --> 00:10:12,068 our first Thanksgiving dinner as a family. 152 00:10:13,275 --> 00:10:17,689 I wanted the dinner to be perfect, for me and for him. 153 00:10:19,827 --> 00:10:25,965 I lit candles, and we had China, nice silver spoons, 154 00:10:27,310 --> 00:10:29,344 and I asked him, how did he like it? 155 00:10:33,965 --> 00:10:37,206 And Russell said, "It tastes like prison food." 156 00:10:37,310 --> 00:10:41,172 All I wanted was a good meal, and you couldn't even do that! 157 00:10:42,482 --> 00:10:44,448 TERRY: He really hurt my feelings. 158 00:10:44,551 --> 00:10:48,137 He was being critical of how I did it. 159 00:10:48,241 --> 00:10:51,206 I just felt like I didn't do it good enough for him. 160 00:10:51,310 --> 00:10:52,586 I was mad then. 161 00:10:54,344 --> 00:10:56,206 I first thought, well, 162 00:10:56,310 --> 00:10:57,413 you don't wanna eat it? 163 00:10:57,517 --> 00:10:58,724 I'll put it in the garbage. 164 00:11:00,413 --> 00:11:01,517 And that's what I did. 165 00:11:07,620 --> 00:11:09,103 He got in the car and left. 166 00:11:11,275 --> 00:11:15,344 Later, I wondered why or how 167 00:11:15,448 --> 00:11:19,862 Russell had known that it tastes like prison food. 168 00:11:19,965 --> 00:11:22,137 Looking back on it now, 169 00:11:22,241 --> 00:11:24,724 I could tell that he'd been in prison before, 170 00:11:24,827 --> 00:11:28,379 because he distinctively knows 171 00:11:29,827 --> 00:11:31,862 prison Thanksgiving food. 172 00:11:33,344 --> 00:11:36,103 If I had known the truth of Russell being in jail, 173 00:11:36,206 --> 00:11:37,793 I would have broken it off. 174 00:11:37,896 --> 00:11:41,034 I should have left then, but I didn't. 175 00:11:42,241 --> 00:11:43,310 I look back, 176 00:11:44,862 --> 00:11:45,862 and I wonder... 177 00:11:47,310 --> 00:11:50,241 why I didn't go. 178 00:11:53,344 --> 00:11:55,724 I had the perfect chance, but I missed it. 179 00:12:10,034 --> 00:12:13,344 This is a picture of my husband, Russell, 180 00:12:13,448 --> 00:12:16,586 myself, and our daughter. 181 00:12:16,689 --> 00:12:18,827 This is a happy picture. 182 00:12:18,931 --> 00:12:21,517 I remember when, uh, I had my daughter. 183 00:12:22,655 --> 00:12:24,000 Right before he left. 184 00:12:26,448 --> 00:12:27,758 Told everybody, oh, it's a girl. 185 00:12:27,862 --> 00:12:29,275 It's a girl. 186 00:12:29,379 --> 00:12:31,482 It strikes me, uh -- 187 00:12:31,586 --> 00:12:33,241 he looks like a loving father. 188 00:12:35,586 --> 00:12:37,758 It was just another lie. 189 00:12:37,862 --> 00:12:40,034 It's like my marriage never had a chance. 190 00:12:42,034 --> 00:12:45,931 Little did I know what my life was gonna spiral 191 00:12:46,034 --> 00:12:47,034 down into. 192 00:12:49,379 --> 00:12:50,896 [Bleep] just hit the fan. 193 00:12:52,344 --> 00:12:54,310 In that picture is a hidden monster 194 00:12:57,275 --> 00:12:58,551 that didn't come out yet. 195 00:13:03,517 --> 00:13:05,551 I just wanted him to love me is all. 196 00:13:11,137 --> 00:13:12,310 That's all I want. 197 00:13:23,551 --> 00:13:26,551 That's all I wanted, was someone to love me. 198 00:13:29,310 --> 00:13:31,206 [sobbing] 199 00:13:31,310 --> 00:13:32,448 I'm so sorry. 200 00:13:38,551 --> 00:13:39,862 Russell had a dark side, 201 00:13:41,137 --> 00:13:42,413 and I never knew about it. 202 00:13:44,586 --> 00:13:46,655 It's a sexual thing with Russell. 203 00:13:48,034 --> 00:13:51,586 Russell liked to have sex when he wanted sex. 204 00:13:54,068 --> 00:13:55,827 One night, when Russell came home, 205 00:13:55,931 --> 00:13:58,413 he was getting all goosey, touchy feely. 206 00:14:03,758 --> 00:14:09,000 He told me he had a little surprise for me. 207 00:14:09,103 --> 00:14:10,206 I got something for you. 208 00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:15,689 And I said, "Well, okay, what is that?" 209 00:14:15,793 --> 00:14:18,275 And that's when he brought out the handcuffs. 210 00:14:24,793 --> 00:14:28,034 No wasn't a word in his book. 211 00:14:28,137 --> 00:14:30,310 He didn't care if you said no. 212 00:14:32,896 --> 00:14:34,758 If I said no, he would hurt me. 213 00:14:38,034 --> 00:14:39,965 It was easier to do what he wanted 214 00:14:41,310 --> 00:14:42,517 than to fight back. 215 00:14:44,344 --> 00:14:49,241 He took the handcuffs, put the handcuffs on my wrist, 216 00:14:49,344 --> 00:14:53,068 attached it to the head post of the bed. 217 00:14:53,172 --> 00:14:54,655 He was very aggressive. 218 00:14:58,896 --> 00:15:01,275 I just wanted Russell off of me, 219 00:15:03,689 --> 00:15:04,655 and I couldn't 220 00:15:06,655 --> 00:15:07,827 get him off. 221 00:15:09,172 --> 00:15:11,724 I was just laying there, 222 00:15:11,827 --> 00:15:13,586 afraid of the repercussions. 223 00:15:15,344 --> 00:15:16,620 I'm telling him no. 224 00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:21,724 I just felt like a nothing. 225 00:15:21,827 --> 00:15:23,103 I was a nobody. 226 00:15:24,482 --> 00:15:25,551 I was just his... 227 00:15:27,482 --> 00:15:28,379 piece of... 228 00:15:31,413 --> 00:15:32,793 just a piece of meat. 229 00:15:36,275 --> 00:15:38,034 When I looked into Russell's eyes, 230 00:15:38,137 --> 00:15:41,034 I can tell that he was satisfied, 231 00:15:41,137 --> 00:15:42,862 because he got what he wanted. 232 00:15:48,344 --> 00:15:50,275 No means no. 233 00:15:50,379 --> 00:15:51,965 I don't care if you're married. 234 00:15:53,448 --> 00:15:54,931 Rape is rape. 235 00:15:56,137 --> 00:15:59,655 When you say no or get off of me, 236 00:15:59,758 --> 00:16:03,586 that means get the [bleep] off of me. 237 00:16:06,206 --> 00:16:08,758 You feel dirty, you take a shower, 238 00:16:08,862 --> 00:16:11,275 you scrub yourself till your skin's raw. 239 00:16:13,206 --> 00:16:15,482 I'd scrub myself 240 00:16:15,586 --> 00:16:20,689 till my skin bled, just to get that [bleep] [bleep]... 241 00:16:23,724 --> 00:16:25,344 out of my mind. 242 00:16:38,206 --> 00:16:41,344 Russell would spend all the money we had 243 00:16:41,448 --> 00:16:45,068 and money we didn't have to buy drugs. 244 00:16:45,172 --> 00:16:48,241 We're broke. Do you get that? 245 00:16:48,344 --> 00:16:51,827 He stole very precious jewelry from me. 246 00:16:51,931 --> 00:16:57,172 He pawned a diamond heart from my parents. 247 00:16:57,275 --> 00:17:02,482 I was given a diamond heart, 16th birthday present. 248 00:17:03,689 --> 00:17:05,103 And he just pawned it away. 249 00:17:05,205 --> 00:17:09,034 Russell stole a necklace, my class ring, 250 00:17:09,137 --> 00:17:14,550 my diamond ring and diamond earrings and pawned them 251 00:17:14,655 --> 00:17:16,619 so he can get drugs. 252 00:17:18,205 --> 00:17:21,619 I really tried hard to get him into rehabilitation. 253 00:17:21,723 --> 00:17:25,655 I told him, "You need to get rehabilitated 254 00:17:25,758 --> 00:17:28,378 if you're gonna come back to this family." 255 00:17:29,448 --> 00:17:31,137 He's like... 256 00:17:31,241 --> 00:17:32,482 "You talk too much. 257 00:17:32,586 --> 00:17:35,241 "You get into my business. 258 00:17:35,344 --> 00:17:37,862 Just shut up, shut up." 259 00:17:37,965 --> 00:17:40,206 I said enough! 260 00:17:40,310 --> 00:17:41,862 And he... 261 00:17:41,965 --> 00:17:45,586 grabbed me by my throat and lifted me off the floor. 262 00:17:48,862 --> 00:17:50,206 Everything went black. 263 00:17:58,482 --> 00:18:00,896 The next thing I remember, I was on the floor. 264 00:18:02,275 --> 00:18:03,310 When I woke up, 265 00:18:05,310 --> 00:18:06,689 he was just standing there. 266 00:18:11,793 --> 00:18:13,896 Repeating, 267 00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:17,689 "I told you to shut your mouth. I told you to be quiet." 268 00:18:17,793 --> 00:18:19,310 You don't listen. 269 00:18:21,862 --> 00:18:24,827 I realized this is not gonna be a good situation. 270 00:18:24,931 --> 00:18:27,310 I need to get out. 271 00:18:29,413 --> 00:18:31,965 Well, I snuck out with my daughter, 272 00:18:32,068 --> 00:18:36,793 and I went to my parents' house, and they told me, 273 00:18:36,896 --> 00:18:37,965 "I told you so." 274 00:18:40,206 --> 00:18:42,206 I was just beside myself. 275 00:18:42,310 --> 00:18:45,310 Why did I let myself get into this? 276 00:18:45,413 --> 00:18:48,517 And I asked God, "Why? What did I do?" 277 00:18:49,965 --> 00:18:51,827 Love is not supposed to hurt. 278 00:19:03,551 --> 00:19:05,931 A lot of times, Russell would leave without telling me 279 00:19:06,034 --> 00:19:09,724 why or where or how long, and he'd be gone, 280 00:19:09,827 --> 00:19:11,241 like, one or two days. 281 00:19:11,344 --> 00:19:12,482 [phone ringing] 282 00:19:12,586 --> 00:19:15,448 The police would call my home. 283 00:19:15,551 --> 00:19:18,482 Russell was 284 00:19:18,586 --> 00:19:20,586 arrested for doing drugs, 285 00:19:20,689 --> 00:19:23,689 having prostitutes. 286 00:19:23,793 --> 00:19:25,551 They gave him probation. 287 00:19:25,655 --> 00:19:28,862 Russell would tell me stuff like, "No, it's not true. 288 00:19:28,965 --> 00:19:30,413 They're lying to you." 289 00:19:40,896 --> 00:19:43,172 When Russell got out of jail, 290 00:19:43,275 --> 00:19:47,724 he, uh, gave me little trinkets and bracelets, 291 00:19:47,827 --> 00:19:49,655 uh, day planners. 292 00:19:51,379 --> 00:19:54,931 When Russell brought me gifts, he told me, "Here, 293 00:19:55,034 --> 00:19:56,241 I found this for you." 294 00:19:58,551 --> 00:20:00,793 These were used items. 295 00:20:00,896 --> 00:20:02,586 They weren't brand-new gifts. 296 00:20:04,206 --> 00:20:06,103 I knew they were stolen. 297 00:20:06,206 --> 00:20:08,758 I knew they weren't bought from a store. 298 00:20:08,862 --> 00:20:13,068 I believe Russell stole these items from women's purses. 299 00:20:15,586 --> 00:20:18,241 I felt like my life is starting 300 00:20:18,344 --> 00:20:22,206 to unravel more and more 301 00:20:22,310 --> 00:20:23,896 each day that passes, 302 00:20:25,137 --> 00:20:26,827 each lie he told. 303 00:20:28,758 --> 00:20:32,379 Knowing what I know now, it's possible 304 00:20:32,482 --> 00:20:35,448 that he was already raping and killing 305 00:20:37,379 --> 00:20:38,517 other women. 306 00:20:47,482 --> 00:20:50,482 TERRY: He was in and out of prison a lot. 307 00:20:52,206 --> 00:20:54,344 That could have been my chance to leave, 308 00:20:54,448 --> 00:20:57,103 but I didn't. 309 00:20:57,206 --> 00:20:59,068 I couldn't afford it at the time, 310 00:20:59,172 --> 00:21:01,000 and I thought he loved me. 311 00:21:02,275 --> 00:21:04,310 But that was another lie to myself. 312 00:21:06,586 --> 00:21:08,620 I... 313 00:21:08,724 --> 00:21:10,965 just wanted to be loved. 314 00:21:11,068 --> 00:21:13,310 I just wanted to be with somebody, 315 00:21:13,413 --> 00:21:16,413 but I stepped into an alligator's mouth, 316 00:21:16,517 --> 00:21:19,000 and he just chewed me up. 317 00:21:24,517 --> 00:21:27,896 One day, Russell told me to 318 00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:30,103 dress up and undress. 319 00:21:31,310 --> 00:21:32,689 He took pictures of me. 320 00:21:32,793 --> 00:21:33,793 [camera shutter clicking] 321 00:21:36,793 --> 00:21:40,620 It's humiliating, knowing someone that you love so much 322 00:21:40,724 --> 00:21:42,482 could you just do that, 323 00:21:42,586 --> 00:21:45,034 treated me like a prostitute. 324 00:21:45,137 --> 00:21:48,551 [camera shutter clicking] 325 00:21:48,655 --> 00:21:51,275 As Russell was taking the photos, 326 00:21:51,379 --> 00:21:53,448 uh, I could not see him. 327 00:21:58,206 --> 00:22:02,758 I couldn't see him, but I heard the camera flash, 328 00:22:06,241 --> 00:22:08,310 and he would tell me, you know, 329 00:22:08,413 --> 00:22:10,724 "Oh, yeah, that's a nice pose. That's a nice pose." 330 00:22:11,965 --> 00:22:14,689 He told me how beautiful I was, 331 00:22:14,793 --> 00:22:16,517 that I was special. 332 00:22:16,620 --> 00:22:17,724 [camera shutter clicking] 333 00:22:21,241 --> 00:22:24,413 He told me to smile, so I did. 334 00:22:26,103 --> 00:22:27,103 Turn around. 335 00:22:35,965 --> 00:22:37,000 I felt... 336 00:22:38,586 --> 00:22:40,344 dirty, 337 00:22:40,448 --> 00:22:43,655 ashamed, ugly, 338 00:22:45,413 --> 00:22:47,310 disgusted, 339 00:22:47,413 --> 00:22:48,551 [camera shutter clicking] 340 00:22:48,655 --> 00:22:51,793 but that's the way Russell's mind works. 341 00:22:54,758 --> 00:22:57,482 Russell often humiliated me 342 00:22:57,586 --> 00:22:58,758 with the photos. 343 00:22:59,827 --> 00:23:01,517 The photos told the story. 344 00:23:04,551 --> 00:23:05,551 Come on, look happy. 345 00:23:22,586 --> 00:23:25,448 One day, I was at home, and I received a phone call 346 00:23:25,551 --> 00:23:26,655 from Russell. 347 00:23:26,758 --> 00:23:29,689 He told me that he was incarcerated. 348 00:23:29,793 --> 00:23:33,137 Russell asked me to come and bail him out of jail. 349 00:23:33,241 --> 00:23:37,275 I thought it was drugs or prostitution charges 350 00:23:37,379 --> 00:23:39,413 and like a dummy, I went and picked him up. 351 00:23:44,620 --> 00:23:46,172 I found out that he was 352 00:23:46,275 --> 00:23:48,551 being charged with attempted rape 353 00:23:48,655 --> 00:23:51,655 and, uh, kidnapping. 354 00:23:55,965 --> 00:23:58,896 As it turned out, Russell went to work 355 00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:02,517 on his, uh, welding job. 356 00:24:02,620 --> 00:24:05,172 There was a girl having car troubles. 357 00:24:05,275 --> 00:24:07,068 Russell stopped to help her. 358 00:24:08,241 --> 00:24:12,758 He gave her a ride by coaxing her into his car. 359 00:24:12,862 --> 00:24:15,551 Russell tried to rape that woman. 360 00:24:17,034 --> 00:24:20,310 He didn't get that far, because two men walked up 361 00:24:20,413 --> 00:24:25,620 to Russell and saved the girl from being raped and kidnapped. 362 00:24:25,724 --> 00:24:26,896 I felt angry. 363 00:24:30,827 --> 00:24:33,275 I felt disgusted at him. 364 00:24:35,931 --> 00:24:38,379 I just wanted to get in the judge's chambers 365 00:24:38,482 --> 00:24:39,758 and tell them, 366 00:24:39,862 --> 00:24:41,931 just keep him so I can get away. 367 00:24:43,689 --> 00:24:46,172 The judge only gave him probation, 368 00:24:46,275 --> 00:24:48,758 which I found sickening to my stomach. 369 00:24:50,586 --> 00:24:53,724 When we got home from picking up Russell from jail, 370 00:24:55,103 --> 00:24:57,275 it was like life as usual. 371 00:25:06,793 --> 00:25:09,034 Russell would often take my daughter 372 00:25:09,137 --> 00:25:11,379 on a ride late at night, 373 00:25:12,586 --> 00:25:15,275 and he'd be gone for a couple hours. 374 00:25:17,068 --> 00:25:19,448 I stayed awake till 2 or 3 in the morning, 375 00:25:19,551 --> 00:25:20,758 just waiting on him. 376 00:25:23,758 --> 00:25:25,689 I had so many times to leave him, 377 00:25:25,793 --> 00:25:28,448 I just don't know why I didn't. 378 00:25:28,551 --> 00:25:31,482 I guess I just did not want to be alone. 379 00:25:31,586 --> 00:25:34,862 By this time we were expecting our second child. 380 00:25:34,965 --> 00:25:36,793 I had two kids to take care of. 381 00:25:36,896 --> 00:25:40,000 I needed my children to come with me. 382 00:25:55,896 --> 00:25:58,517 When my little son came into the world, 383 00:25:58,620 --> 00:26:00,931 Russell and I was ecstatic. 384 00:26:02,655 --> 00:26:06,448 But then he accused me of affair with my employer, 385 00:26:06,551 --> 00:26:07,655 which was not true. 386 00:26:09,655 --> 00:26:10,793 I know you're sleeping with him. 387 00:26:12,793 --> 00:26:16,310 TERRY: I mean, I couldn't go anywhere unless he knew. 388 00:26:16,413 --> 00:26:19,379 And I had to tell him who, what, where, when. 389 00:26:19,482 --> 00:26:21,241 How could I possibly go do that? 390 00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:28,517 I felt like a hostage. 391 00:26:32,379 --> 00:26:34,482 Russell had a gun in the house, 392 00:26:34,586 --> 00:26:37,862 and he made sure that I knew where it was. 393 00:26:40,206 --> 00:26:44,551 Russell told me that if I ever left him, 394 00:26:44,655 --> 00:26:46,344 that he will hunt us down. 395 00:26:48,586 --> 00:26:50,586 I was too scared to run. 396 00:26:51,793 --> 00:26:55,137 I felt like a prisoner in my own mind and body. 397 00:27:15,931 --> 00:27:19,000 Russell wanted to show me that he was powerful. 398 00:27:21,655 --> 00:27:24,689 Russell wanted to show me how to kill a person. 399 00:27:26,724 --> 00:27:28,344 He brought out the knife. 400 00:27:28,448 --> 00:27:32,344 It was a medium-sized, flat blade. 401 00:27:34,034 --> 00:27:35,344 Russell said, "I want you to do 402 00:27:35,448 --> 00:27:39,206 this in case something ever happens to you," 403 00:27:39,310 --> 00:27:40,931 and he put it up to my stomach. 404 00:27:41,034 --> 00:27:44,103 He said, "You push the blade in 405 00:27:44,206 --> 00:27:46,482 "and then lift it up 406 00:27:46,586 --> 00:27:49,206 "so it'll tear the contents of your -- 407 00:27:49,310 --> 00:27:50,965 your heart and your chest." 408 00:27:53,448 --> 00:27:56,172 -That's what he told me. -You understand? 409 00:27:57,827 --> 00:28:01,310 I wondered if he had done this to somebody else. 410 00:28:11,517 --> 00:28:13,620 It did make me scared, because... 411 00:28:15,103 --> 00:28:18,034 if he knows how to do that, is he gonna do that on me? 412 00:28:32,310 --> 00:28:35,482 One time, when Russell was in prison, 413 00:28:35,586 --> 00:28:36,965 I did move 414 00:28:38,137 --> 00:28:41,896 to a one-bedroom apartment with my two children. 415 00:28:44,689 --> 00:28:47,827 Being away from Russell, I finally felt free. 416 00:28:49,137 --> 00:28:51,724 It felt good. I could breathe. 417 00:28:53,551 --> 00:28:55,586 But I knew he could find me, 418 00:28:56,793 --> 00:28:58,344 and he did. 419 00:28:58,448 --> 00:29:01,551 Are you running home from school? 420 00:29:01,655 --> 00:29:04,068 TERRY: One day I came home, 421 00:29:04,172 --> 00:29:08,206 and there was a note, a yellow piece of paper note, on my door. 422 00:29:15,448 --> 00:29:17,172 It was from Russell. 423 00:29:17,275 --> 00:29:21,172 He stated that I'm a no-good mother. 424 00:29:21,275 --> 00:29:25,965 I'm unfit. I'm gonna turn you over to DCF. 425 00:29:28,448 --> 00:29:30,241 You'll never see them kids again. 426 00:29:32,724 --> 00:29:34,448 When I saw the note, 427 00:29:34,551 --> 00:29:37,896 I got scared, because I knew he knew where I lived now. 428 00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:40,000 -Are you all right, mom? -Yeah, um... 429 00:29:41,034 --> 00:29:42,275 Go ahead. 430 00:29:42,379 --> 00:29:43,965 I don't know how Russell found me, 431 00:29:44,068 --> 00:29:46,724 and I could not get away from him. 432 00:29:49,172 --> 00:29:51,793 And he followed me everywhere. 433 00:29:51,896 --> 00:29:53,310 I couldn't escape Russell. 434 00:29:57,551 --> 00:29:59,137 The memory of Russell 435 00:29:59,241 --> 00:30:01,655 frightens me, 436 00:30:01,758 --> 00:30:05,586 and I heard Russell calling my daughter's name. 437 00:30:05,689 --> 00:30:07,413 AS RUSSELL: Jennifer. 438 00:30:07,517 --> 00:30:10,827 Honey, are you there? 439 00:30:10,931 --> 00:30:13,310 TERRY: It gave me more anxiety. 440 00:30:13,413 --> 00:30:14,896 I was at my wits' end. 441 00:30:17,310 --> 00:30:19,931 At times, I felt like committing suicide, 442 00:30:20,034 --> 00:30:23,275 because I just couldn't take it anymore. 443 00:30:23,379 --> 00:30:25,034 I would cut... 444 00:30:25,137 --> 00:30:26,620 I'd cut my wrist. 445 00:30:29,034 --> 00:30:30,655 I sliced open my leg. 446 00:30:33,206 --> 00:30:37,137 Why I did it was to release the anxiety. 447 00:30:39,724 --> 00:30:42,310 I might get upset, but... 448 00:30:42,413 --> 00:30:43,896 I don't wanna cry. 449 00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:49,413 It's not going right. 450 00:30:59,689 --> 00:31:02,379 Terry, focus on me, okay? 451 00:31:02,482 --> 00:31:04,000 I'm right here. 452 00:31:04,103 --> 00:31:06,034 You are not doing anything wrong. 453 00:31:06,137 --> 00:31:07,965 It's going fine. 454 00:31:08,068 --> 00:31:09,586 I promise. 455 00:31:16,068 --> 00:31:18,896 At one point, Russell started to disappear. 456 00:31:20,275 --> 00:31:24,310 He was in jail, uh, for drugs and prostitution. 457 00:31:25,724 --> 00:31:28,137 With Russell being behind bars, 458 00:31:28,241 --> 00:31:29,931 I feel a little bit safe. 459 00:31:37,206 --> 00:31:39,793 It was December. 460 00:31:39,896 --> 00:31:43,275 I obtain an attorney to get a divorce from Russell. 461 00:31:44,931 --> 00:31:47,241 The officer 462 00:31:47,344 --> 00:31:52,103 went to the jail, served him the paperwork. 463 00:31:53,551 --> 00:31:55,310 Getting a divorce from Russell was 464 00:31:55,413 --> 00:31:58,448 the best Christmas present I can get. 465 00:31:59,551 --> 00:32:01,310 I thought it would be done. 466 00:32:01,413 --> 00:32:03,379 I thought I'd be rid of him. 467 00:32:03,482 --> 00:32:07,310 I kept using my phone and my computer 468 00:32:07,413 --> 00:32:10,275 to track him down, 469 00:32:10,379 --> 00:32:13,103 just to make sure that he's still where he is. 470 00:32:16,586 --> 00:32:20,413 But in 2012, when Russell got out of jail, 471 00:32:20,517 --> 00:32:22,586 he went to my dad's house looking for me. 472 00:32:24,034 --> 00:32:24,862 [phone ringing] 473 00:32:24,965 --> 00:32:27,896 I received a phone call from my dad, 474 00:32:28,000 --> 00:32:31,517 and he notified me that my ex-husband, 475 00:32:31,620 --> 00:32:35,724 Russell, came to his house looking for me. 476 00:32:35,827 --> 00:32:36,931 What did you say? 477 00:32:37,034 --> 00:32:39,448 TERRY: He asked, "Well, do you know where she lives? 478 00:32:39,551 --> 00:32:41,862 My dad said, "No, 479 00:32:41,965 --> 00:32:43,931 you don't know what you've done to her." 480 00:32:44,034 --> 00:32:48,172 And he says, "I'm sorry, can I please go see her?" 481 00:32:48,275 --> 00:32:49,275 And he said no. 482 00:32:50,896 --> 00:32:54,172 My dad told me that Russell was not in his right mind. 483 00:32:55,379 --> 00:32:58,655 "He's out of jail, and I don't want him finding you." 484 00:32:59,896 --> 00:33:02,448 I knew he'd find me. I knew it. 485 00:33:11,931 --> 00:33:14,586 One day, I was outside. 486 00:33:14,689 --> 00:33:17,000 My son was in the backyard, 487 00:33:18,655 --> 00:33:20,655 and this car pulls up and parks. 488 00:33:22,689 --> 00:33:25,241 Russell pointed at me. 489 00:33:25,344 --> 00:33:27,137 Here I am. 490 00:33:27,241 --> 00:33:28,689 Oh, [bleep], he found me. 491 00:33:31,965 --> 00:33:33,034 I'm back. 492 00:33:34,517 --> 00:33:38,379 So I immediately went to the back gate 493 00:33:38,482 --> 00:33:42,275 and locked it from behind so he could not get in. 494 00:33:45,931 --> 00:33:47,482 And then Russell left. 495 00:33:52,482 --> 00:33:57,103 After that, looking over my shoulder was an everyday thing. 496 00:34:12,447 --> 00:34:16,206 One day, I had an eye doctor appointment. 497 00:34:16,310 --> 00:34:19,275 After my eye doctor appointment, 498 00:34:19,379 --> 00:34:23,516 I got into the car and turned on the radio, 499 00:34:23,620 --> 00:34:25,241 and they had a news flash. 500 00:34:28,103 --> 00:34:33,275 The news flash was Russell Tillis has been arrested 501 00:34:33,379 --> 00:34:36,103 for murder, 502 00:34:36,206 --> 00:34:39,000 kidnapping, dismemberment of a body. 503 00:34:40,896 --> 00:34:44,275 I wanted to see it on the news to make sure that it was true. 504 00:34:46,620 --> 00:34:49,827 The second I walked in my front door, it was on. 505 00:34:53,931 --> 00:34:56,103 REPORTER: The remains of 30-year-old Joni Lynn Gunter 506 00:34:56,206 --> 00:34:58,724 were found in the backyard of this Jacksonville home. 507 00:34:59,896 --> 00:35:03,000 The man accused of this brutal murder, Russell Tillis. 508 00:35:06,310 --> 00:35:07,275 Disgusting. 509 00:35:10,068 --> 00:35:11,793 What did she ever do to him? 510 00:35:13,172 --> 00:35:15,241 She did nothing wrong. 511 00:35:15,344 --> 00:35:18,551 She didn't deserve what Russell did to her. 512 00:35:18,655 --> 00:35:19,482 I'm so sorry 513 00:35:19,586 --> 00:35:20,896 my ex-husband did that to you. 514 00:35:21,896 --> 00:35:23,000 [sniffles] 515 00:35:25,068 --> 00:35:27,241 I heard on the news 516 00:35:27,344 --> 00:35:29,034 that, um... 517 00:35:29,137 --> 00:35:32,000 he was talking to another inmate, 518 00:35:32,103 --> 00:35:35,517 and he stated that I, Russell Tillis, 519 00:35:35,620 --> 00:35:39,275 killed that woman and held hostage 520 00:35:39,379 --> 00:35:41,413 five other women. 521 00:35:43,620 --> 00:35:45,172 REPORTER: Tillis paints a vivid picture 522 00:35:45,275 --> 00:35:48,137 of what he did to multiple women, saying, quote, 523 00:35:48,241 --> 00:35:50,586 he didn't mind if they were there locked up in the room. 524 00:35:54,655 --> 00:35:57,655 REPORTER: Tillis described raping multiple women over 525 00:35:57,758 --> 00:36:01,241 and over and allowed friends to rape the women, as well. 526 00:36:03,517 --> 00:36:06,931 I was watching the news constantly 527 00:36:08,241 --> 00:36:09,896 just to make sure that he was, 528 00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:12,379 yes, still in jail. 529 00:36:12,482 --> 00:36:13,551 He didn't escape. 530 00:36:15,758 --> 00:36:19,724 I watched the news, you know, 24-7, 531 00:36:19,827 --> 00:36:21,310 three different channels. 532 00:36:22,655 --> 00:36:26,034 The more I watched, the more I learned of what happened. 533 00:36:28,758 --> 00:36:31,655 It was just craziness, 534 00:36:31,758 --> 00:36:34,517 and his trial went on for years and years. 535 00:36:35,793 --> 00:36:40,000 And those years and years I wasted, wasting my mind on him, 536 00:36:42,827 --> 00:36:46,034 not being connected with my family, 537 00:36:46,137 --> 00:36:47,586 my husband, 538 00:36:47,689 --> 00:36:49,344 my children. 539 00:36:50,862 --> 00:36:55,482 The authorities call the house a house of horrors. 540 00:36:55,586 --> 00:36:57,793 And, you know, to me, 541 00:36:57,896 --> 00:36:59,482 that was scary. 542 00:36:59,586 --> 00:37:02,965 There's more than one Joni out there. 543 00:37:05,620 --> 00:37:07,241 Me and those other girls, 544 00:37:08,620 --> 00:37:10,724 we were just sex toys of Russell. 545 00:37:12,758 --> 00:37:14,689 Is that not disgusting or what? 546 00:37:18,206 --> 00:37:19,379 That's what I married. 547 00:37:23,172 --> 00:37:25,241 REPORTER: Russell Tillis, sentenced to spend the rest 548 00:37:25,344 --> 00:37:27,517 of his life in prison without parole. 549 00:37:34,241 --> 00:37:35,827 When Russell was found guilty, 550 00:37:37,482 --> 00:37:38,620 I felt... 551 00:37:40,413 --> 00:37:41,586 release. 552 00:38:05,206 --> 00:38:06,172 [voice breaking] I can't look at him. 553 00:38:11,655 --> 00:38:14,689 Why did he do this to me? 554 00:38:16,172 --> 00:38:18,172 I don't understand it. 555 00:38:20,724 --> 00:38:22,413 I did nothing wrong. 556 00:38:24,000 --> 00:38:24,931 [sniffles] 557 00:38:27,655 --> 00:38:30,413 Why, Russell? Why? 558 00:38:33,689 --> 00:38:35,275 You just hurt me so bad. 559 00:38:37,068 --> 00:38:38,724 He just looks like an old man 560 00:38:40,344 --> 00:38:42,000 that wouldn't hurt anybody. 561 00:38:43,137 --> 00:38:45,931 Looks like a monster to me. 562 00:38:49,137 --> 00:38:50,862 I'm hoping that Russell Tillis 563 00:38:52,000 --> 00:38:53,551 never gets releases. 564 00:38:56,275 --> 00:38:58,000 May he die in jail 565 00:39:00,275 --> 00:39:02,344 for the sin, the horrific sin, 566 00:39:03,655 --> 00:39:05,103 not just on one person, 567 00:39:06,206 --> 00:39:08,000 not just on one female. 568 00:39:19,827 --> 00:39:22,137 I don't know why Russell spared my life. 569 00:39:22,241 --> 00:39:24,000 I just got lucky, I guess. 570 00:39:25,310 --> 00:39:28,379 I do not know how many victims Russell had 571 00:39:29,862 --> 00:39:31,827 and what he did to them. 572 00:39:34,896 --> 00:39:37,310 With Russell being behind bars, 573 00:39:37,413 --> 00:39:40,068 I feel a little bit safe, 574 00:39:40,172 --> 00:39:42,379 but there's always something in the back of my mind. 575 00:39:44,310 --> 00:39:45,448 He's gonna get out, 576 00:39:47,482 --> 00:39:49,172 because he always did before. 577 00:39:50,862 --> 00:39:53,689 I would feel better if Russell was dead. 578 00:39:53,793 --> 00:39:55,000 Yes, I would. 579 00:39:57,034 --> 00:39:58,758 I want to finally get some sleep. 580 00:40:01,965 --> 00:40:03,758 I wished 581 00:40:03,862 --> 00:40:06,137 that we had a family, 582 00:40:06,241 --> 00:40:07,793 a normal family, 583 00:40:09,827 --> 00:40:11,137 but it wasn't to be. 584 00:40:14,068 --> 00:40:15,965 I had plenty of chances to leave. 585 00:40:17,103 --> 00:40:18,103 But I just... 586 00:40:19,793 --> 00:40:21,310 I felt sorry for the guy. 587 00:40:23,448 --> 00:40:26,000 He played on my mind and my heart. 588 00:40:27,689 --> 00:40:29,965 How many women are still out there, 589 00:40:31,724 --> 00:40:33,586 fighting the way I'm fighting? 590 00:40:35,000 --> 00:40:36,827 You put the blame on yourself. 591 00:40:38,241 --> 00:40:40,620 I put the blame on myself, 592 00:40:40,724 --> 00:40:44,103 for letting myself get entwined with this person. 593 00:40:45,241 --> 00:40:47,344 It'll be with me for the rest of my life. 594 00:40:49,620 --> 00:40:51,275 I want people to know 595 00:40:52,827 --> 00:40:54,379 that there is a way out. 596 00:40:56,620 --> 00:40:57,689 I got set free. 597 00:41:11,655 --> 00:41:14,000 I prayed for strength 598 00:41:14,103 --> 00:41:16,068 before I did this program. 599 00:41:16,172 --> 00:41:17,517 JEFF: We thank you, Father God, that 600 00:41:17,620 --> 00:41:20,586 her story will touch another soul. 601 00:41:20,689 --> 00:41:24,206 Just give them hope that they can escape 602 00:41:24,310 --> 00:41:27,034 the prison in which they feel that they are trapped in. 603 00:41:28,448 --> 00:41:29,827 It's about saving souls. 604 00:41:29,931 --> 00:41:31,482 It's about setting souls free. 605 00:41:32,862 --> 00:41:35,689 TERRY: We prayed for it to be a release. 606 00:41:35,793 --> 00:41:38,551 We prayed for it to be a strength within me 607 00:41:40,034 --> 00:41:42,620 and how it would affect the rest of my life. 608 00:41:42,724 --> 00:41:44,275 And Jeff is that for me. 609 00:41:46,448 --> 00:41:49,551 He has totally, totally 610 00:41:49,655 --> 00:41:52,551 twirled my mind around for the better. 611 00:41:53,862 --> 00:41:57,689 Jeff and God are both my source of strength, 612 00:41:57,793 --> 00:41:59,655 especially God. 613 00:41:59,758 --> 00:42:01,724 When you give Him your weakness, 614 00:42:01,827 --> 00:42:03,310 He'll reveal your strength. 615 00:42:05,413 --> 00:42:07,655 I'm a victor, I'm no more a victim. 616 00:42:09,724 --> 00:42:11,517 And that's what I want people to know. 617 00:42:13,724 --> 00:42:15,379 You can be a victor.