1 00:00:03,612 --> 00:00:09,183 I didn't know what red flags and signs to look for. 2 00:00:09,313 --> 00:00:12,490 Maybe I wouldn't be sitting here where I am, you know, 3 00:00:12,621 --> 00:00:15,232 blind in one eye and, you know, 4 00:00:15,363 --> 00:00:18,322 torn AC and rotator cuff and with the pain 5 00:00:18,453 --> 00:00:19,628 and the trauma that I've been through. 6 00:00:22,065 --> 00:00:24,154 This is probably one of the hardest photos to look at. 7 00:00:26,548 --> 00:00:28,637 For a while, it was almost like... 8 00:00:30,378 --> 00:00:32,206 it played in my head over and over, 9 00:00:34,425 --> 00:00:38,734 and I was outside watching a movie, 10 00:00:38,864 --> 00:00:40,953 but it was really something that had happened to me. 11 00:00:42,912 --> 00:00:45,001 It was a 3.5-hour fight for my life. 12 00:00:47,221 --> 00:00:50,093 And I still remember the noise of 13 00:00:50,224 --> 00:00:53,096 the crunching of the knife going in my skull. 14 00:00:54,663 --> 00:00:56,317 [voice breaking] And I remember just thinking, 15 00:00:56,447 --> 00:00:58,319 okay, yes, this is my time. 16 00:00:58,449 --> 00:01:00,712 I'm gonna go home and meet God. 17 00:01:00,843 --> 00:01:02,845 [sniffles] 18 00:01:02,975 --> 00:01:05,804 If I hadn't fought 19 00:01:05,935 --> 00:01:07,284 like hell, 20 00:01:08,894 --> 00:01:10,113 I wouldn't be here today. 21 00:01:18,643 --> 00:01:22,082 You can't always tell the face that evil has. 22 00:01:23,561 --> 00:01:25,955 It's definitely not what I thought it would be. 23 00:01:27,348 --> 00:01:30,351 I believed if somebody loved God, they were a great person. 24 00:01:30,481 --> 00:01:35,095 That really got shattered about four years ago. 25 00:01:35,225 --> 00:01:37,140 When they say that love is blind, 26 00:01:37,271 --> 00:01:41,536 it really is a true statement, and looking back, I think, 27 00:01:41,666 --> 00:01:45,104 how could I have not seen what a monster he was? 28 00:01:52,808 --> 00:01:55,767 [The Paper Chase's "What's So Amazing About Grace?" plays] 29 00:01:55,898 --> 00:01:57,987 [strings continue playing sinister tune] 30 00:01:58,118 --> 00:01:59,858 [static crackling] 31 00:02:02,513 --> 00:02:05,168 -[knock at door] -[creaking] 32 00:02:05,299 --> 00:02:10,390 -[banging on door] -[creaking] 33 00:02:10,521 --> 00:02:14,525 -[banging on door] -[creaking] 34 00:02:14,656 --> 00:02:17,702 [water dripping] 35 00:02:17,833 --> 00:02:20,531 -[banging on door] -[creaking] 36 00:02:20,662 --> 00:02:22,316 [sinister chord strikes] 37 00:02:30,541 --> 00:02:32,935 My whole life, I had always visioned having 38 00:02:33,065 --> 00:02:36,417 that marriage that God talked about in the Bible. 39 00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:41,291 I went on dating websites, and I was 40 00:02:41,422 --> 00:02:43,815 very specific with what I was looking for. 41 00:02:43,946 --> 00:02:47,471 Um, I wanted a God-fearing man that showed it in his life. 42 00:02:51,562 --> 00:02:56,393 This was one of the first photos that Shawn sent me of 43 00:02:56,524 --> 00:02:59,744 himself and his semi-truck that he drove. 44 00:03:01,920 --> 00:03:04,488 My first impressions of him was that, 45 00:03:04,619 --> 00:03:06,447 you know, he was very handsome. 46 00:03:06,577 --> 00:03:08,710 He was sweet. 47 00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:13,410 He knew the Bible -- when we first started talking, 48 00:03:13,541 --> 00:03:17,632 it was a lot about, um, our values and our faith. 49 00:03:19,721 --> 00:03:21,810 He told me that he attended church regularly 50 00:03:21,940 --> 00:03:23,681 and that he used to 51 00:03:23,812 --> 00:03:26,597 take groceries to the elderly, that he was very involved in 52 00:03:26,728 --> 00:03:28,425 serving with church. 53 00:03:28,556 --> 00:03:32,429 He kind of passed all the little tests that I gave him 54 00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:34,910 and kind of met the expectations 55 00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:37,434 that I had to kind of move forward with somebody. 56 00:03:43,397 --> 00:03:45,703 I was really kind of starting to think that, you know, 57 00:03:45,834 --> 00:03:49,316 this is maybe a person God had brought into my life, 58 00:03:51,448 --> 00:03:53,755 but he's the person that taught me 59 00:03:53,885 --> 00:03:54,843 there was evil in the world. 60 00:04:17,822 --> 00:04:20,303 One of our early dates, uh, my church 61 00:04:20,434 --> 00:04:22,827 was having what they call a Good Neighbor Weekend. 62 00:04:22,957 --> 00:04:25,047 Everybody goes out and kind of serves. 63 00:04:25,177 --> 00:04:26,483 We're like the hands and feet of Jesus. 64 00:04:27,832 --> 00:04:30,313 This was the photo 65 00:04:30,444 --> 00:04:33,534 that him and I took at the... 66 00:04:35,579 --> 00:04:38,713 Good Neighbor Weekend when we volunteered together, 67 00:04:38,843 --> 00:04:41,411 and I had invited him to come with me, 68 00:04:41,542 --> 00:04:43,761 and I almost expected him to just say no, 69 00:04:43,892 --> 00:04:46,111 but he kind of said "Sure, absolutely. 70 00:04:46,242 --> 00:04:47,374 I would love to go with you." 71 00:04:49,463 --> 00:04:51,116 Thanks for coming out today. 72 00:04:51,247 --> 00:04:55,991 We planted, we, you know, de-weeded, we put rocks down. 73 00:04:56,121 --> 00:04:57,688 Um, and it was just a great day. 74 00:04:59,037 --> 00:05:00,865 He worked really, really hard, 75 00:05:00,996 --> 00:05:03,085 talked to everybody, just seemed like 76 00:05:03,215 --> 00:05:04,216 he was a really good guy. 77 00:05:05,609 --> 00:05:08,308 And it was just nice to see someone that 78 00:05:08,438 --> 00:05:10,179 kind of was wanting to do God's work with me. 79 00:05:13,835 --> 00:05:16,664 So we ended up talking about just different things in 80 00:05:16,794 --> 00:05:18,143 our past. 81 00:05:18,274 --> 00:05:20,320 He told me that he had been married before. 82 00:05:20,450 --> 00:05:24,541 But, um, you know, it was kind of a bad situation. 83 00:05:24,672 --> 00:05:25,890 Things didn't really work out between us. 84 00:05:27,239 --> 00:05:29,938 SARA: His ex-wife had cheated on him. 85 00:05:30,068 --> 00:05:33,376 He found her in bed with somebody, and that was kind of 86 00:05:33,507 --> 00:05:35,552 the final straw, and he just knew that she wasn't 87 00:05:35,683 --> 00:05:37,119 gonna change. 88 00:05:37,249 --> 00:05:39,339 He ended up beating up the guy 89 00:05:39,469 --> 00:05:42,124 that he found his wife in bed with. 90 00:05:42,254 --> 00:05:43,430 He went to jail for it, and he got 91 00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:45,301 an assault charge is what he said. 92 00:05:46,868 --> 00:05:47,825 I would have probably done 93 00:05:47,956 --> 00:05:50,872 the same thing if the situation was reversed. 94 00:05:51,002 --> 00:05:53,744 So that didn't make me think any different of him. 95 00:05:55,180 --> 00:05:58,053 He really wants to get married again and have kids. 96 00:05:58,183 --> 00:06:01,056 And, um, you know, it be forever this time. 97 00:06:01,186 --> 00:06:04,146 At the time, I thought he's a great guy. 98 00:06:04,276 --> 00:06:05,452 Let's kind of move past this, 99 00:06:05,582 --> 00:06:08,455 and let's focus on us and our future together. 100 00:06:08,585 --> 00:06:11,458 And so, you know, we definitely moved pretty quick. 101 00:06:15,070 --> 00:06:17,377 Years later, I found out that the assault 102 00:06:17,507 --> 00:06:19,640 charge wasn't because he beat somebody else up. 103 00:06:19,770 --> 00:06:22,294 He didn't even ever find his wife in bed with 104 00:06:22,425 --> 00:06:23,426 another person. 105 00:06:25,820 --> 00:06:28,039 The assault charge was for attacking his wife. 106 00:06:39,007 --> 00:06:41,357 I never really saw what a healthy relationship 107 00:06:41,488 --> 00:06:43,490 looked like, because I didn't have a father. 108 00:06:43,620 --> 00:06:45,666 And so I didn't know how a man was supposed 109 00:06:45,796 --> 00:06:49,017 to treat a woman or what he was supposed to say. 110 00:06:49,147 --> 00:06:51,411 And so I think that affected a lot of my relationships. 111 00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:54,457 It wasn't big fights, but what I kind of 112 00:06:54,588 --> 00:06:58,113 learned was that what he said went. 113 00:06:58,243 --> 00:06:59,244 [knocking noises] 114 00:06:59,375 --> 00:07:00,942 One day, Shawn was upstairs working. 115 00:07:01,072 --> 00:07:02,465 There was a knock on the door, 116 00:07:04,075 --> 00:07:07,252 and it was one of the contractors, and I went 117 00:07:07,383 --> 00:07:10,081 upstairs to get Shawn, because he hadn't heard the door. 118 00:07:11,866 --> 00:07:12,954 We came downstairs, 119 00:07:13,084 --> 00:07:14,346 and he started talking to the contractor. 120 00:07:14,477 --> 00:07:15,783 Yeah, thank you. 121 00:07:15,913 --> 00:07:17,959 Then, you know, the contractor ended up leaving, 122 00:07:18,089 --> 00:07:19,613 because he -- he got what he needed. 123 00:07:22,703 --> 00:07:23,704 What the hell do you think you're doing? 124 00:07:25,967 --> 00:07:28,622 Shawn started going off on me and telling me, you know, 125 00:07:28,752 --> 00:07:31,233 "Don't you ever answer the door unless I'm here." 126 00:07:31,363 --> 00:07:33,017 You know, "Why would you let somebody in? 127 00:07:33,148 --> 00:07:35,019 You don't know who he is," you know, 128 00:07:35,150 --> 00:07:38,327 "I don't trust you with anybody else in this house. 129 00:07:40,677 --> 00:07:42,113 "You make sure that you don't have 130 00:07:42,244 --> 00:07:43,637 "any guys in this house unless I'm here. 131 00:07:43,767 --> 00:07:45,334 "I don't care if they're contractors. 132 00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:47,641 "I don't care if they have work to do. 133 00:07:47,771 --> 00:07:48,511 If I'm not here, they're not coming in." 134 00:07:51,558 --> 00:07:53,516 And he was very mad and in my face 135 00:07:53,647 --> 00:07:55,562 and then walked upstairs and walked away. 136 00:07:58,782 --> 00:08:00,697 I was very surprised that he got angry, 137 00:08:00,828 --> 00:08:04,266 but I believed at the time that he was 138 00:08:04,396 --> 00:08:05,528 really trying to protect me. 139 00:08:22,763 --> 00:08:25,722 Our first session, I would bring up something, and then 140 00:08:25,853 --> 00:08:28,595 he would over talk me, say, "That's not how it went. 141 00:08:28,725 --> 00:08:31,119 This is how it went," and he would cut me off. 142 00:08:31,249 --> 00:08:33,513 He wouldn't let me continue talking to the counselor, 143 00:08:33,643 --> 00:08:35,558 or he would let me talk to 144 00:08:35,688 --> 00:08:36,994 the counselor, and then he would say, 145 00:08:37,125 --> 00:08:38,342 "Oh no, no, no, that's not how it went. 146 00:08:38,474 --> 00:08:39,431 This is how it went." 147 00:08:39,562 --> 00:08:41,563 -We've had a few sort of like... -Well, look... 148 00:08:43,131 --> 00:08:46,438 SARA: It was about three-fourths of the way into the hour. 149 00:08:46,569 --> 00:08:49,006 And I just remember the counselor saying, okay, 150 00:08:49,137 --> 00:08:50,355 I'm gonna stop you guys right now. 151 00:08:50,486 --> 00:08:52,532 My recommendation is gonna be 152 00:08:52,662 --> 00:08:53,576 that you guys do not get married. 153 00:08:57,580 --> 00:09:01,497 We both were kind of shocked, like, what just happened? 154 00:09:01,628 --> 00:09:03,673 You know, we came for premarital counseling. 155 00:09:03,804 --> 00:09:05,457 You're supposed to be helping us with 156 00:09:05,588 --> 00:09:07,721 the tools to have a better marriage. 157 00:09:08,983 --> 00:09:10,854 I didn't feel like she had the right to 158 00:09:10,985 --> 00:09:13,030 say that yet, because she didn't really know us. 159 00:09:14,728 --> 00:09:15,598 At that point, 160 00:09:15,729 --> 00:09:17,165 you know, we were in a good place. 161 00:09:17,295 --> 00:09:18,862 We were going to church together, 162 00:09:18,993 --> 00:09:20,821 you know, we had started praying together, 163 00:09:20,951 --> 00:09:22,997 started reading the Bible together. 164 00:09:23,127 --> 00:09:24,346 We closed up the session. 165 00:09:24,476 --> 00:09:26,130 Shawn went to the bathroom. 166 00:09:26,261 --> 00:09:29,394 I remember the lady kind of pulling me aside and saying, 167 00:09:29,525 --> 00:09:30,918 you know, "I just get a feeling 168 00:09:31,048 --> 00:09:33,442 that this isn't a good person for you to marry." 169 00:09:35,139 --> 00:09:36,097 I said, "Well, what do you mean?" 170 00:09:36,227 --> 00:09:37,489 And she said, "You know, I just -- 171 00:09:37,620 --> 00:09:40,449 I just don't think you guys are supposed to be together," 172 00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:41,798 and then he came out of the bathroom, 173 00:09:41,929 --> 00:09:42,799 and we ended up leaving. 174 00:09:44,540 --> 00:09:45,759 Have a good night. 175 00:09:48,065 --> 00:09:49,850 I kind of took it as, you know, 176 00:09:49,980 --> 00:09:52,504 she was a stranger, and I kind of knew more 177 00:09:52,635 --> 00:09:54,332 about my life than she did, 178 00:09:54,463 --> 00:09:57,292 and I didn't see any big red flags. 179 00:09:57,422 --> 00:09:58,772 I mean, we were moving in the direction of 180 00:09:58,902 --> 00:09:59,903 getting married. 181 00:10:00,034 --> 00:10:01,383 That's what I wanted. 182 00:10:01,513 --> 00:10:05,605 I think I was just very set on him being a good person 183 00:10:05,735 --> 00:10:08,869 and, you know, our lives kind of aligning. 184 00:10:08,999 --> 00:10:12,002 And so I wasn't ready to kind of hear that. 185 00:10:12,133 --> 00:10:15,658 I used to have a lot of guilt about why 186 00:10:15,789 --> 00:10:18,356 I didn't listen and why I didn't see those things. 187 00:10:18,487 --> 00:10:20,750 I think things would have turned out differently. 188 00:10:37,245 --> 00:10:39,290 Shawn would just get to a point where he would explode, 189 00:10:39,421 --> 00:10:42,467 and he couldn't kind of handle his emotions anymore. 190 00:10:42,598 --> 00:10:43,555 No! 191 00:10:43,686 --> 00:10:45,427 SARA: It really did concern me. 192 00:10:45,557 --> 00:10:49,039 We started arguing more and have more altercations. 193 00:10:49,170 --> 00:10:51,868 I was starting to really wonder if 194 00:10:51,999 --> 00:10:54,218 this was the right relationship that I wanted. 195 00:10:54,349 --> 00:10:57,352 And I said, you know, "I think we kind of need to discuss 196 00:10:57,482 --> 00:10:58,919 "what the counselor said and how we're gonna kind of 197 00:10:59,049 --> 00:11:00,311 "move forward. 198 00:11:00,442 --> 00:11:02,052 "There's been things that haven't been 199 00:11:02,183 --> 00:11:03,924 "the greatest lately, 200 00:11:04,054 --> 00:11:05,490 "and so I think that we need to make 201 00:11:05,621 --> 00:11:07,101 a decision to kind of go our separate ways." 202 00:11:11,235 --> 00:11:13,194 He ended up going into the bathroom, 203 00:11:14,761 --> 00:11:15,805 and... 204 00:11:17,111 --> 00:11:19,896 he was in there for a little while. 205 00:11:23,117 --> 00:11:26,163 I remember hearing the bathroom door open, 206 00:11:26,294 --> 00:11:28,905 and I remember seeing blood 207 00:11:29,036 --> 00:11:32,300 just pouring down his arm, from his elbow to his wrist. 208 00:11:34,998 --> 00:11:36,652 It was kind of terrifying. 209 00:11:37,871 --> 00:11:39,394 What did you do? 210 00:11:39,524 --> 00:11:42,310 And he told me that he had cut his arm with a box opener. 211 00:11:43,746 --> 00:11:46,401 He got mad, and he ran out the front door, 212 00:11:46,531 --> 00:11:47,968 and he just got in the car and drove off. 213 00:11:50,057 --> 00:11:53,016 I was so shocked, I didn't know what to do. 214 00:11:53,147 --> 00:11:56,237 And so I called his mom -- his mom said, you know, 215 00:11:56,367 --> 00:11:57,542 "All I can do is tell you to run." 216 00:11:59,849 --> 00:12:02,591 And I was like, "What do you mean?" 217 00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:05,376 And she goes, "That's all I can say," and kind of hung up. 218 00:12:18,650 --> 00:12:20,174 SARA: I was worried about where he was. 219 00:12:20,304 --> 00:12:22,350 I was worried about whether he was okay or not. 220 00:12:22,480 --> 00:12:26,397 You know, I -- at that point didn't know how bad it was. 221 00:12:37,582 --> 00:12:39,062 I was sitting on the couch when he came home. 222 00:12:41,848 --> 00:12:44,764 It was almost kind of a relief when I saw him and he was okay. 223 00:12:44,894 --> 00:12:45,765 Where have you been? 224 00:12:47,244 --> 00:12:49,507 I just needed to clear my head. 225 00:12:49,638 --> 00:12:51,858 SARA: I went and got kind of a cloth to kind of 226 00:12:51,988 --> 00:12:56,601 wipe the blood off, and it really wasn't a deep cut. 227 00:12:56,732 --> 00:12:59,517 I just asked him, "Why would you do something like that?" 228 00:12:59,648 --> 00:13:01,432 He explained that, you know, 229 00:13:01,563 --> 00:13:02,999 it was something that he had did 230 00:13:03,130 --> 00:13:05,480 because he was scared he was going to lose me. 231 00:13:05,610 --> 00:13:08,048 I just can't stand the thought of us not being together. 232 00:13:08,178 --> 00:13:11,094 He believes that, kind of, God put me 233 00:13:11,225 --> 00:13:14,358 in his life, and we're supposed to get married. 234 00:13:14,489 --> 00:13:16,534 He knew that, you know, 235 00:13:16,665 --> 00:13:18,885 I would feel bad for him, and that's kind of why he did it. 236 00:13:21,235 --> 00:13:24,020 And I had found a person that... 237 00:13:27,197 --> 00:13:29,896 knew how to 238 00:13:30,026 --> 00:13:35,815 manipulate and prey on someone that 239 00:13:35,945 --> 00:13:38,426 wanted to be in a relationship, 240 00:13:38,556 --> 00:13:41,951 and I think, 241 00:13:42,082 --> 00:13:43,735 looking back, I could even yell at myself 242 00:13:43,866 --> 00:13:45,955 and say, "Why did you stay?" 243 00:13:46,086 --> 00:13:48,088 But when you're in it, it's not that easy. 244 00:13:48,218 --> 00:13:49,176 When you're in it, 245 00:13:49,306 --> 00:13:51,874 you don't see the things you see looking back. 246 00:13:52,005 --> 00:13:54,181 Looking back, I see everything. 247 00:13:54,311 --> 00:13:55,835 We are supposed to be together. 248 00:13:57,271 --> 00:13:59,664 It's not what your mom thinks. 249 00:13:59,795 --> 00:14:03,930 I told him that, um, 250 00:14:04,060 --> 00:14:05,105 you know, I had spoke with his mom, 251 00:14:05,235 --> 00:14:08,717 and his mom said to just run. 252 00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:10,980 I asked him what that meant. 253 00:14:12,939 --> 00:14:15,332 He told me, you know, I'm not surprised that 254 00:14:15,463 --> 00:14:17,073 she would try to sabotage something that's going good in 255 00:14:17,204 --> 00:14:20,468 my life -- she typically does that in my life. 256 00:14:20,598 --> 00:14:23,297 He definitely preyed on my sympathy. 257 00:14:23,427 --> 00:14:26,561 My desire to be in a relationship 258 00:14:26,691 --> 00:14:31,305 helped me overlook any doubt that I had. 259 00:14:31,435 --> 00:14:32,610 Don't let her come between us. 260 00:14:34,699 --> 00:14:37,093 SARA: It makes me shocked that, you know, 261 00:14:37,224 --> 00:14:40,792 I believed him and that I didn't see kind of 262 00:14:40,923 --> 00:14:42,446 the manipulation that was going on. 263 00:14:58,462 --> 00:14:59,289 [short groan] 264 00:15:02,379 --> 00:15:03,511 This is 265 00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:06,557 our wedding trailer. 266 00:15:08,385 --> 00:15:11,649 We humbled ourselves and did what Jesus did 267 00:15:11,780 --> 00:15:14,870 to the apostles and washed each other's feet. 268 00:15:16,654 --> 00:15:20,049 I thought it would be, um, a nice touch to get Shawn 269 00:15:20,180 --> 00:15:23,183 a knife that said "Hubby Shawn" on it. 270 00:15:23,313 --> 00:15:27,578 He had said he was somebody that was patient, 271 00:15:27,709 --> 00:15:30,581 somebody that was kind, somebody that wasn't 272 00:15:30,712 --> 00:15:32,148 self-seeking. 273 00:15:32,279 --> 00:15:34,324 You know, somebody that would 274 00:15:34,455 --> 00:15:38,067 love me and honor me and cherish me. 275 00:15:38,198 --> 00:15:40,113 It was something I had 276 00:15:40,243 --> 00:15:42,289 dreamed of my whole life. 277 00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:45,988 And instead I got somebody that... 278 00:15:47,424 --> 00:15:48,121 lied to me, 279 00:15:49,687 --> 00:15:52,647 that was angry, that made me feel... 280 00:15:52,777 --> 00:15:53,865 worthless. 281 00:15:55,650 --> 00:15:57,957 He had me fooled as to who he really was. 282 00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:11,535 We cherished and wanted this to be a godly relationship. 283 00:16:11,666 --> 00:16:14,060 So we didn't have sex till we were married. 284 00:16:14,190 --> 00:16:17,933 It was not the intimate, romantic 285 00:16:18,064 --> 00:16:20,066 relationship that I thought we would have. 286 00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:23,721 We definitely had sex when I didn't want to. 287 00:16:26,507 --> 00:16:29,858 I remember one night, I was so exhausted and so tired. 288 00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:31,903 I just wanted to go to bed. 289 00:16:32,034 --> 00:16:33,775 He wanted to have sex. 290 00:16:33,905 --> 00:16:36,430 He started kissing my neck. 291 00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:41,087 When I said "No, I really don't feel like it, I'm really tired," 292 00:16:41,217 --> 00:16:43,176 he made me believe that it 293 00:16:43,306 --> 00:16:45,308 was something that was wrong with me. 294 00:16:46,701 --> 00:16:48,616 He said I was letting him down and letting 295 00:16:48,746 --> 00:16:53,186 our marriage down and I wasn't doing my wifely duties. 296 00:16:53,316 --> 00:16:58,278 He knew that me thinking I was not a good wife 297 00:16:58,408 --> 00:16:59,714 would be very hurtful to me. 298 00:17:01,237 --> 00:17:03,544 I wanted to be 299 00:17:03,674 --> 00:17:06,634 a good wife, and I wanted to make him happy. 300 00:17:06,763 --> 00:17:09,767 I remember him rolling me over, and I literally just 301 00:17:09,897 --> 00:17:13,292 laid there, and, you know, he just 302 00:17:13,423 --> 00:17:16,209 had really rough sex with me. 303 00:17:17,688 --> 00:17:20,387 Tears started to fill my eyes and I just thought, 304 00:17:20,517 --> 00:17:23,085 is this really what sex is supposed to be? 305 00:17:24,260 --> 00:17:25,827 I definitely felt violated. 306 00:17:25,957 --> 00:17:27,915 I thought that I was being a good wife 307 00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:28,873 by letting him do it. 308 00:17:30,745 --> 00:17:32,225 That definitely is rape, and that's 309 00:17:32,355 --> 00:17:34,836 not what a good marriage looks like. 310 00:17:37,404 --> 00:17:39,667 I definitely felt that biblically, 311 00:17:39,797 --> 00:17:42,148 I didn't have a reason to leave. 312 00:17:42,278 --> 00:17:44,106 Um, you know, he hadn't cheated on me. 313 00:17:44,237 --> 00:17:46,369 He hadn't physically hurt me. 314 00:17:46,500 --> 00:17:48,502 We had made a commitment for better or for worse. 315 00:17:48,632 --> 00:17:50,069 And, you know, this was the worst time right now. 316 00:18:02,298 --> 00:18:04,692 Things kind of started taking a turn for the worse. 317 00:18:07,825 --> 00:18:09,262 He never liked to kind of 318 00:18:09,392 --> 00:18:11,742 work through things or talk about things. 319 00:18:11,873 --> 00:18:14,397 I mean, he would get mad and scream and yell and walk away. 320 00:18:16,486 --> 00:18:18,749 I noticed whenever his temper flared up, 321 00:18:18,880 --> 00:18:21,578 he would disappear into the basement. 322 00:18:21,709 --> 00:18:25,843 One night, we had gotten into a big argument, 323 00:18:25,974 --> 00:18:27,932 and he went down in the basement, 324 00:18:28,063 --> 00:18:30,500 he was there all night and then came up 325 00:18:30,631 --> 00:18:32,241 and went to work. 326 00:18:34,287 --> 00:18:39,161 I went downstairs, and I looked around the corner 327 00:18:39,292 --> 00:18:42,295 and saw a big black punching bag 328 00:18:42,425 --> 00:18:44,427 that had my name spray painted on it -- Sara. 329 00:18:48,170 --> 00:18:51,652 And I just, like, was in shock. 330 00:18:53,349 --> 00:18:56,439 This is a photo of our basement. 331 00:19:00,051 --> 00:19:01,879 I remember this like it was yesterday. 332 00:19:03,403 --> 00:19:05,056 To know that he was punching something 333 00:19:05,187 --> 00:19:06,841 that had my name on it... 334 00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:09,931 it was kind of scary. 335 00:19:11,715 --> 00:19:16,329 I cringe at the thought of someone spray painting 336 00:19:16,459 --> 00:19:19,723 my name on a bag and that he's literally down there 337 00:19:19,854 --> 00:19:24,728 basically beating the [bleep] out of Sara, you know, um... 338 00:19:28,558 --> 00:19:29,820 It's just kind of sick. 339 00:19:31,779 --> 00:19:34,651 Even though this was in the basement, 340 00:19:34,782 --> 00:19:36,958 I never believed 341 00:19:37,088 --> 00:19:38,960 that he would physically hurt me, 342 00:19:39,090 --> 00:19:39,917 but I was dead wrong. 343 00:19:53,235 --> 00:19:57,196 I didn't understand why 344 00:19:57,326 --> 00:20:00,024 my name was on a punching bag. 345 00:20:02,766 --> 00:20:04,812 When he finally came home, 346 00:20:04,942 --> 00:20:06,205 I asked him about it, 347 00:20:07,554 --> 00:20:10,165 and again, you know, he kind of brushed it off 348 00:20:10,296 --> 00:20:12,907 like it wasn't a big deal. 349 00:20:13,037 --> 00:20:14,517 He said, "Well, it's better 350 00:20:15,910 --> 00:20:18,478 that I hit the punching bag than I hit you." 351 00:20:21,394 --> 00:20:24,266 And I thought, well, I guess that makes sense. 352 00:20:25,485 --> 00:20:27,008 We had kind of made 353 00:20:29,663 --> 00:20:31,578 the covenant of marriage. 354 00:20:31,708 --> 00:20:34,058 And so it was so hard for me 355 00:20:34,189 --> 00:20:37,410 to be okay with walking away, 356 00:20:40,674 --> 00:20:42,328 because he hadn't physically hurt me. 357 00:20:53,556 --> 00:20:55,993 When we were kind of 358 00:20:56,124 --> 00:20:58,518 just not connecting like we used to, 359 00:20:58,648 --> 00:21:01,129 it seemed like every other thing I said was wrong 360 00:21:01,260 --> 00:21:02,913 or every other thing I did was wrong. 361 00:21:04,741 --> 00:21:07,440 We started to have sex less. 362 00:21:08,789 --> 00:21:12,575 I was a little relieved that he wasn't coming to me 363 00:21:12,706 --> 00:21:14,273 every single day to try to have sex with me. 364 00:21:15,709 --> 00:21:18,712 I started to wonder what was going on. 365 00:21:18,842 --> 00:21:20,888 He was spending a lot more time on his phone, 366 00:21:21,018 --> 00:21:23,282 which kind of made me wonder what he was doing on his phone. 367 00:21:25,849 --> 00:21:28,417 He had gone upstairs, and I started going through 368 00:21:28,548 --> 00:21:33,030 his phone, and I saw that he had placed some 369 00:21:33,161 --> 00:21:37,731 personal ads on social media and was looking for 370 00:21:37,861 --> 00:21:40,690 a married women that wanted to have sex with married men. 371 00:21:44,912 --> 00:21:47,784 There was one person that he had been talking back and forth, 372 00:21:47,915 --> 00:21:49,525 and he had messaged her and said, 373 00:21:49,656 --> 00:21:52,049 "[Bleep] so my wife will come home and catch us, 374 00:21:52,180 --> 00:21:53,355 and then she'll leave me." 375 00:21:55,139 --> 00:21:58,491 I really didn't care, because we were not in a good place. 376 00:21:58,621 --> 00:22:00,362 But on the other hand, I knew 377 00:22:00,493 --> 00:22:02,364 it wasn't right, because we were married. 378 00:22:03,757 --> 00:22:07,543 I confronted him about the ads, 379 00:22:07,674 --> 00:22:10,503 and, you know, he said that, you know, 380 00:22:10,633 --> 00:22:13,070 he was lonely, he had never met anybody, he had never done 381 00:22:13,201 --> 00:22:15,072 anything with anybody. 382 00:22:15,203 --> 00:22:17,336 And so, you know, it wasn't that big of a deal. 383 00:22:20,730 --> 00:22:24,255 He always had a reason or an excuse or... 384 00:22:25,735 --> 00:22:27,346 a way of talking his way out of everything. 385 00:22:30,827 --> 00:22:33,874 He wasn't really the godly man that I thought 386 00:22:34,004 --> 00:22:36,616 he was or that he had portrayed himself to be. 387 00:22:36,746 --> 00:22:40,184 Um, even though, you know, we went to church 388 00:22:40,315 --> 00:22:42,012 every weekend and, um, 389 00:22:42,143 --> 00:22:45,451 attended church, he didn't live that out 390 00:22:45,581 --> 00:22:46,626 in his daily life. 391 00:22:48,497 --> 00:22:51,457 I started to think that maybe all the things that he had said 392 00:22:51,587 --> 00:22:54,373 to me or all the things that he said he wanted were lies. 393 00:22:56,984 --> 00:23:00,683 This time, I kind of had decided that maybe things 394 00:23:00,814 --> 00:23:03,120 needed change and, um, 395 00:23:03,251 --> 00:23:05,427 I decided to kind of go stay at my mom's for a little while. 396 00:23:08,082 --> 00:23:11,128 This wasn't a marriage, and this wasn't a place that, 397 00:23:11,259 --> 00:23:12,347 you know, God wanted me to stay. 398 00:23:25,534 --> 00:23:29,495 So this is the hood of my car. 399 00:23:31,105 --> 00:23:33,150 I told him I was gonna come pick up the car, 400 00:23:33,281 --> 00:23:34,935 and when I got there, 401 00:23:35,065 --> 00:23:38,504 it was keyed on both sides from the front to the back, 402 00:23:40,331 --> 00:23:41,637 and on the hood, 403 00:23:43,552 --> 00:23:44,640 he wrote "bitch" 404 00:23:46,076 --> 00:23:46,773 in a key mark. 405 00:23:49,732 --> 00:23:51,255 It made me sick to my stomach. 406 00:23:53,606 --> 00:23:55,999 I don't really 407 00:23:56,130 --> 00:23:58,306 understand what kind of person 408 00:23:59,960 --> 00:24:01,222 would do something like that 409 00:24:01,352 --> 00:24:03,964 to someone's vehicle that they loved. 410 00:24:06,357 --> 00:24:10,318 This just kind of shows the type of vindictive 411 00:24:10,449 --> 00:24:12,755 and sick person he was. 412 00:24:12,886 --> 00:24:16,542 He knew what he was doing every second 413 00:24:16,672 --> 00:24:17,630 and every moment that he did this. 414 00:24:28,249 --> 00:24:29,816 [phone buzzing] 415 00:24:29,946 --> 00:24:33,167 I started getting text messages, um, 416 00:24:33,297 --> 00:24:34,385 that were videos from him. 417 00:24:34,516 --> 00:24:36,649 [phone buzzing] 418 00:24:36,779 --> 00:24:38,694 He literally was going through every 419 00:24:38,825 --> 00:24:42,872 single photo that we had of us... 420 00:24:43,003 --> 00:24:45,179 AS SHAWN: You never cared about me! 421 00:24:45,309 --> 00:24:48,182 ...talking about the memory and talking about that 422 00:24:48,312 --> 00:24:50,445 it was a lie and that he hated me 423 00:24:50,576 --> 00:24:52,099 and why would I say these things 424 00:24:52,229 --> 00:24:54,710 and I never really loved him, and he literally would rip 425 00:24:54,841 --> 00:24:56,756 the photos up, and he would throw it in a trash can. 426 00:24:56,886 --> 00:24:59,367 None of this meant anything to you! 427 00:25:00,803 --> 00:25:03,545 He was getting meaner and nastier with what he was 428 00:25:03,676 --> 00:25:06,505 saying, and he just kept sending them and sending them. 429 00:25:06,635 --> 00:25:08,419 I had to literally turn my phone off, 430 00:25:08,550 --> 00:25:09,595 because I couldn't sleep. 431 00:25:12,815 --> 00:25:15,122 When I woke up, I turned my phone back on and, you know, 432 00:25:15,252 --> 00:25:18,647 had 30-plus videos of him continuing to do 433 00:25:18,778 --> 00:25:19,648 what he was doing. 434 00:25:19,779 --> 00:25:21,911 He just wanted power over me 435 00:25:22,042 --> 00:25:25,088 and was realizing he didn't have any more power. 436 00:25:29,615 --> 00:25:32,835 I had really started to realize who he was 437 00:25:32,966 --> 00:25:34,794 and the manipulation that he was doing. 438 00:25:36,752 --> 00:25:38,667 That was the wakeup call I needed. 439 00:25:47,850 --> 00:25:50,418 Moving, you know, to Arizona from Indiana 440 00:25:50,549 --> 00:25:51,550 kind of gave me my freedom back. 441 00:25:52,986 --> 00:25:57,730 I think I believed that once I left and created 442 00:25:57,860 --> 00:26:00,820 some distance in between us, that he would 443 00:26:00,950 --> 00:26:04,258 be able to leave me alone, 444 00:26:04,388 --> 00:26:05,694 and I was wrong. 445 00:26:14,964 --> 00:26:18,446 I had become so isolated and confined, 446 00:26:18,577 --> 00:26:20,840 and so I had to figure out what I -- 447 00:26:20,970 --> 00:26:22,537 what I liked again, what my hobbies were, 448 00:26:22,668 --> 00:26:23,712 what my passions were, 449 00:26:23,843 --> 00:26:26,454 um, and what I wanted to do in life again. 450 00:26:26,585 --> 00:26:28,587 I didn't have anyone that was telling me who I couldn't -- 451 00:26:28,717 --> 00:26:31,372 could and couldn't hang out with, you know, I could go do 452 00:26:31,502 --> 00:26:33,461 things with my friends when I wanted to. 453 00:26:33,592 --> 00:26:34,767 Um, and I was really working on 454 00:26:34,897 --> 00:26:37,639 a lot of, like, personal development and self growth. 455 00:26:39,293 --> 00:26:43,863 So I had done photography before, and I decided 456 00:26:43,993 --> 00:26:47,257 to update my online accounts for my photography business. 457 00:26:48,998 --> 00:26:50,173 [phone buzzing] 458 00:26:50,304 --> 00:26:53,655 I got a text message from someone saying that they would 459 00:26:53,786 --> 00:26:56,353 like for me to do their engagement photos, 460 00:26:56,484 --> 00:27:00,183 and it was a pretty big hike out to the actual point that 461 00:27:00,314 --> 00:27:02,708 they wanted to take the pictures at. 462 00:27:02,838 --> 00:27:05,972 I looked it up, and it was about a 2.5-mile hike. 463 00:27:07,538 --> 00:27:10,106 I overbid the job, because I had to bring 464 00:27:10,237 --> 00:27:13,370 all my gear out there, and I'm not a hiker. 465 00:27:13,501 --> 00:27:14,589 [cellphone chimes] 466 00:27:14,720 --> 00:27:16,460 I was really surprised when they accepted the bid. 467 00:27:19,246 --> 00:27:20,247 A little bit later, 468 00:27:20,377 --> 00:27:23,859 -I get a text, and it said, -[phone buzzing] 469 00:27:23,990 --> 00:27:27,297 "We know some friends of you 470 00:27:27,428 --> 00:27:29,125 "and, you know, your husband's. 471 00:27:29,256 --> 00:27:31,345 "Your husband's a really good guy, and we don't know why you 472 00:27:31,475 --> 00:27:33,477 would leave him." 473 00:27:33,608 --> 00:27:36,872 So that immediately triggered a light bulb like this -- 474 00:27:37,003 --> 00:27:39,701 this has to be Shawn. 475 00:27:39,832 --> 00:27:43,009 I thought me leaving would just 476 00:27:43,139 --> 00:27:45,533 help him understand that I was done, 477 00:27:45,664 --> 00:27:47,056 but he wouldn't leave me alone. 478 00:27:48,797 --> 00:27:51,191 I said, you know, I had something come up, 479 00:27:51,321 --> 00:27:53,584 and I can't do the shoot for you guys. 480 00:27:55,282 --> 00:27:57,414 Knowing Shawn and all the things that he had done in 481 00:27:57,545 --> 00:28:00,809 the past, I wouldn't put it past him to go to 482 00:28:00,940 --> 00:28:02,985 this low to figure out what I was doing. 483 00:28:04,421 --> 00:28:06,249 Looking back on that, 484 00:28:06,380 --> 00:28:10,427 you know, I really feel like I came extremely close to death. 485 00:28:10,558 --> 00:28:13,866 He would have lured me out to 486 00:28:13,996 --> 00:28:16,738 that location, and he would have easily killed me. 487 00:28:29,055 --> 00:28:30,534 [phone buzzing] 488 00:28:30,665 --> 00:28:33,624 I received a text message. 489 00:28:33,755 --> 00:28:35,844 It basically said, "Hey, 490 00:28:35,975 --> 00:28:40,675 "I am really excited to come out to Arizona. 491 00:28:40,806 --> 00:28:42,546 I can't wait to be together." 492 00:28:44,287 --> 00:28:47,203 It's like nothing's wrong, nothing's happened. 493 00:28:47,334 --> 00:28:49,249 He's coming. 494 00:28:49,379 --> 00:28:51,817 He can't wait to start his life together with me. 495 00:28:54,341 --> 00:28:58,214 It took me until the next day to even respond, 496 00:28:58,345 --> 00:29:01,304 and I just said, "I'm not interested in being with you." 497 00:29:01,435 --> 00:29:03,480 [phone buzzing] 498 00:29:03,611 --> 00:29:06,005 He said that God had told him that 499 00:29:06,135 --> 00:29:07,397 it was time that we got back together. 500 00:29:09,225 --> 00:29:12,185 I just said, "I have no desire to be back with you. 501 00:29:12,315 --> 00:29:14,970 "You know, we're separated, we filed for divorce. 502 00:29:15,101 --> 00:29:16,450 "You know, I've moved on with my life. 503 00:29:16,580 --> 00:29:19,148 I wish you the best -- you need to move on with your life." 504 00:29:21,585 --> 00:29:23,762 I felt like it was a mind game that he was playing, 505 00:29:25,589 --> 00:29:28,375 but I also have a security that he didn't know 506 00:29:28,505 --> 00:29:31,117 where I live, so I thought that I was safe. 507 00:29:40,300 --> 00:29:44,086 He told me that he already knew where I lived, 508 00:29:44,217 --> 00:29:46,219 and this was the picture that came next, 509 00:29:49,962 --> 00:29:53,269 and I was in complete disbelief. 510 00:29:55,315 --> 00:29:58,057 He wrote the letter to the last known address 511 00:29:58,187 --> 00:30:01,190 and put "Do not forward return to sender," 512 00:30:01,321 --> 00:30:03,410 and they sent it to him, 513 00:30:03,540 --> 00:30:07,849 and it had the little yellow sticker on it with my address. 514 00:30:07,980 --> 00:30:10,939 When I got this photo, my heart started racing. 515 00:30:12,375 --> 00:30:15,204 I didn't want him at my house. 516 00:30:15,335 --> 00:30:17,685 The fact that he knew 517 00:30:17,816 --> 00:30:21,123 where I lived scared the [bleep] out of me. 518 00:30:21,254 --> 00:30:23,691 I still never believed 519 00:30:23,822 --> 00:30:25,084 that he would do what he did. 520 00:30:27,956 --> 00:30:30,437 I never believed somebody could be that evil. 521 00:30:39,881 --> 00:30:43,015 September 15, 2018, 522 00:30:43,145 --> 00:30:46,627 I did my morning routine, opened the door, 523 00:30:46,757 --> 00:30:48,411 and as I opened the door, 524 00:30:48,542 --> 00:30:50,500 Shawn was standing around the corner. 525 00:30:53,286 --> 00:30:56,855 He had a can of bug spray and sprayed me in the face with it. 526 00:30:56,985 --> 00:30:58,204 [muffled shout] 527 00:30:58,334 --> 00:31:00,771 I fell on the floor, and he got on top of me. 528 00:31:00,902 --> 00:31:04,079 I started screaming, "Shawn, what are you doing? 529 00:31:04,210 --> 00:31:06,038 "Stop, stop! What are you doing, Shawn? 530 00:31:06,168 --> 00:31:07,953 Shawn, stop! What are you doing?" 531 00:31:08,083 --> 00:31:10,694 [muffled shouts] 532 00:31:10,825 --> 00:31:13,349 He told me he had been stalking me and watching me 533 00:31:13,480 --> 00:31:14,960 for weeks. 534 00:31:15,090 --> 00:31:17,658 He told me that he wasn't happy and I was, 535 00:31:17,788 --> 00:31:19,138 and he couldn't deal with it. 536 00:31:19,268 --> 00:31:20,617 He said that he wanted closure. 537 00:31:20,748 --> 00:31:22,358 [actor as Sara grunting] 538 00:31:22,489 --> 00:31:25,231 He pulled out a knife, and he said, "Do you remember this?" 539 00:31:27,146 --> 00:31:30,366 And it just so happened to be the knife that I gave him on 540 00:31:30,497 --> 00:31:32,760 our wedding night that was inscribed and said, 541 00:31:32,891 --> 00:31:33,804 "Hubby Shawn." 542 00:31:33,935 --> 00:31:35,589 [actor as Sara grunting] 543 00:31:35,719 --> 00:31:38,113 He told me that he came to kill me, 544 00:31:38,244 --> 00:31:42,161 that he was gonna cut me up into pieces and put me in 545 00:31:42,291 --> 00:31:46,774 a suitcase and drive off a cliff and commit suicide. 546 00:31:46,905 --> 00:31:48,732 And I believed every word he said. 547 00:31:51,431 --> 00:31:53,476 I was scared for my life. 548 00:31:53,607 --> 00:31:56,305 I knew that I was gonna fight like hell to survive. 549 00:32:05,053 --> 00:32:07,360 He put a plastic bag over my nose 550 00:32:07,490 --> 00:32:10,102 and my mouth and started to try to suffocate me. 551 00:32:12,060 --> 00:32:14,541 He said that we were supposed to be married forever 552 00:32:14,671 --> 00:32:18,849 and that he could never see me happy with somebody else 553 00:32:18,980 --> 00:32:20,373 and having a child with somebody else 554 00:32:20,503 --> 00:32:23,419 and that, you know, if he couldn't have me, 555 00:32:23,550 --> 00:32:25,421 nobody could have me. 556 00:32:25,552 --> 00:32:27,815 And that, you know, one of us was gonna die that day. 557 00:32:30,600 --> 00:32:31,950 I remember, um... 558 00:32:33,995 --> 00:32:35,649 feeling... 559 00:32:37,781 --> 00:32:41,002 something go right below my eye, and I didn't even 560 00:32:41,133 --> 00:32:44,484 see it, because the plastic bag was over my face. 561 00:32:44,614 --> 00:32:47,400 I remember hearing crunching and a sound 562 00:32:47,530 --> 00:32:50,403 that I will never forget to this day. 563 00:32:50,533 --> 00:32:53,884 And all of a sudden, I couldn't see out of my right eye. 564 00:32:55,669 --> 00:32:58,889 And I had an excruciating pain that I had never felt before. 565 00:32:59,020 --> 00:33:00,804 I had no clue what had happened. 566 00:33:00,935 --> 00:33:03,111 You know, I had the bag 567 00:33:03,242 --> 00:33:04,678 fully over my face and was trying 568 00:33:04,808 --> 00:33:06,506 to kind of get him off of me. 569 00:33:09,639 --> 00:33:13,382 I just grabbed whatever it was and pulled it out and threw it. 570 00:33:13,513 --> 00:33:16,342 I remember clawing at the plastic bag and trying to 571 00:33:16,472 --> 00:33:18,997 breathe as the bag went in and out, 572 00:33:19,127 --> 00:33:20,215 you know, with my breath. 573 00:33:20,346 --> 00:33:22,304 [actor as Sara struggling to breathe] 574 00:33:22,435 --> 00:33:24,306 He was trying to suffocate me. 575 00:33:24,437 --> 00:33:26,352 And I remember 576 00:33:26,482 --> 00:33:29,398 just my breath was getting really shallow, 577 00:33:29,529 --> 00:33:32,010 and my body was starting to get lethargic. 578 00:33:33,924 --> 00:33:36,101 And I remember just thinking, 579 00:33:36,231 --> 00:33:38,103 okay, I guess this is my time. 580 00:33:38,233 --> 00:33:40,496 I'm gonna go home and meet God. 581 00:33:48,852 --> 00:33:51,333 SARA: It was really scary to know that it could be over. 582 00:33:51,464 --> 00:33:52,595 [actor as Sara grunts] 583 00:33:52,726 --> 00:33:54,771 You know, I felt like I wasn't 584 00:33:54,902 --> 00:33:57,122 done with being here 585 00:33:57,252 --> 00:34:01,561 and just to be grasping for air and not 586 00:34:01,691 --> 00:34:05,130 being able to catch my breath and feeling my body almost go 587 00:34:05,260 --> 00:34:08,784 limp was the scariest thing I've ever experienced. 588 00:34:10,612 --> 00:34:14,617 And then I remembered that my mom would be left here by 589 00:34:14,748 --> 00:34:19,100 herself and she would lose her daughter, and that just gave me 590 00:34:19,231 --> 00:34:21,885 a fight to fight a little bit more, 591 00:34:22,016 --> 00:34:23,322 and I was able to get him off of me. 592 00:34:25,933 --> 00:34:29,154 The bag came off my face, and I could gasp for air 593 00:34:29,284 --> 00:34:30,110 and catch my breath. 594 00:34:33,462 --> 00:34:36,770 The whole time, I'm thinking, how can I escape? 595 00:34:36,900 --> 00:34:39,120 I've screamed, I've yelled, nobody has come. 596 00:34:39,251 --> 00:34:40,730 [quietly crying] 597 00:34:40,860 --> 00:34:43,907 I asked him, you know, like, "Why are you doing this?" 598 00:34:44,038 --> 00:34:44,864 Then he just said, "Because we were 599 00:34:44,995 --> 00:34:46,693 "supposed to be together forever. 600 00:34:46,822 --> 00:34:48,172 "It was till death do us part. 601 00:34:48,303 --> 00:34:50,000 And one of us is gonna die today." 602 00:34:52,264 --> 00:34:55,484 I was really trying to kind of figure out what he wanted 603 00:34:55,614 --> 00:35:00,750 and how to kind of get into his mind to save myself. 604 00:35:00,881 --> 00:35:03,666 It was hard to kind of think like a crazy person 605 00:35:03,797 --> 00:35:05,190 would think, 606 00:35:05,320 --> 00:35:09,716 try to figure out what he wanted and where he was trying 607 00:35:09,846 --> 00:35:12,588 to go with this and what I could say to make him happy. 608 00:35:23,469 --> 00:35:27,908 I was able to convince Shawn that I was unhappy 609 00:35:28,038 --> 00:35:29,866 and didn't want to live without him, 610 00:35:31,259 --> 00:35:34,697 and that pretty much all this had been a show, 611 00:35:34,828 --> 00:35:36,960 and I missed him, 612 00:35:37,091 --> 00:35:40,442 and I really loved him, and I wanted to be with him. 613 00:35:40,573 --> 00:35:42,314 I said, why don't we go get some ice cream? 614 00:35:42,444 --> 00:35:45,926 Because it was something that we had done before. 615 00:35:46,056 --> 00:35:47,971 And in that moment, I had kind of 616 00:35:48,102 --> 00:35:49,321 passed that test for the time. 617 00:35:52,411 --> 00:35:55,675 He said, "Okay, well, that sounds like a good idea. 618 00:35:55,805 --> 00:35:59,940 But, you know, I -- I want to make love one more time before." 619 00:36:03,073 --> 00:36:04,118 I thought to myself... 620 00:36:05,728 --> 00:36:07,208 well, 621 00:36:07,339 --> 00:36:10,124 I'm definitely not gonna say no, because, you know, 622 00:36:10,255 --> 00:36:15,260 I've kind of been through this, and so I went into the bedroom, 623 00:36:16,435 --> 00:36:17,436 laid down on the bed. 624 00:36:37,238 --> 00:36:40,850 I remember just seeing this group of people. 625 00:36:43,462 --> 00:36:46,247 I remember thinking to myself, this is it. 626 00:36:46,378 --> 00:36:49,119 If I don't get out now, I'll never have a chance. 627 00:36:49,250 --> 00:36:51,034 And I grabbed the door handle, 628 00:36:51,165 --> 00:36:54,037 the lock opened, and I was able to get my wrist out, and I just 629 00:36:54,168 --> 00:36:56,301 ran as hard as I could towards the people. 630 00:36:56,431 --> 00:37:00,043 And I said, "Help, help. He stabbed me, he raped me," 631 00:37:00,174 --> 00:37:02,176 Shawn drove off really quick. 632 00:37:19,889 --> 00:37:24,329 This probably was a day or two after I'd been attacked. 633 00:37:26,244 --> 00:37:28,855 My face has been cleaned up. 634 00:37:28,985 --> 00:37:30,204 There's not blood. 635 00:37:33,076 --> 00:37:37,255 How can someone do this to somebody else, 636 00:37:37,385 --> 00:37:38,821 much less how can someone that... 637 00:37:40,388 --> 00:37:42,260 supposedly loves someone, 638 00:37:43,522 --> 00:37:46,002 and was married to somebody, 639 00:37:46,133 --> 00:37:47,787 and wanted to spend forever with them... 640 00:37:51,051 --> 00:37:52,052 do this? 641 00:37:54,097 --> 00:37:56,448 He brought a murder kit. 642 00:37:56,578 --> 00:38:01,322 He had researched how to stab someone in the eye to kill him. 643 00:38:01,453 --> 00:38:04,369 He meant to stab me in the eye with the knife, 644 00:38:04,499 --> 00:38:06,414 but because he had the bag over my head, 645 00:38:06,545 --> 00:38:08,329 it missed and went below. 646 00:38:10,723 --> 00:38:12,855 The... 647 00:38:12,986 --> 00:38:16,816 cut under my eye is where the knife went in. 648 00:38:19,906 --> 00:38:22,561 The eye socket was fractured when the knife went in. 649 00:38:24,737 --> 00:38:26,304 I still get 650 00:38:26,434 --> 00:38:30,133 twinges in my eye, and I still 651 00:38:30,264 --> 00:38:31,918 don't have any feeling in my forehead. 652 00:38:33,615 --> 00:38:36,488 I stayed in the hospital for five days. 653 00:38:36,618 --> 00:38:38,881 My eye 654 00:38:39,012 --> 00:38:41,493 was pretty swollen shut. 655 00:38:41,623 --> 00:38:44,496 They told me it would never open again. 656 00:38:44,626 --> 00:38:47,803 I think that he really took the vows 657 00:38:47,934 --> 00:38:49,239 of till death do us part. 658 00:38:51,851 --> 00:38:53,505 I mean, he told me I was gonna die that day. 659 00:38:58,031 --> 00:38:59,337 [sniffles] 660 00:39:08,563 --> 00:39:09,956 This is 661 00:39:11,479 --> 00:39:13,046 a photo of 662 00:39:14,743 --> 00:39:15,614 Shawn 663 00:39:19,444 --> 00:39:21,533 in his wardrobe for the rest of his life. 664 00:39:26,842 --> 00:39:28,453 He actually kind of hated the color orange. 665 00:39:28,583 --> 00:39:31,020 So it's kind of funny 666 00:39:31,151 --> 00:39:32,152 that that's what he gets to wear. 667 00:39:34,589 --> 00:39:37,418 I hope that someone shows him 668 00:39:37,549 --> 00:39:39,551 the same evilness that he showed me. 669 00:39:44,904 --> 00:39:49,082 I mean, this is such a different photo than 670 00:39:49,212 --> 00:39:52,128 the person standing in front of the blue truck 671 00:39:52,259 --> 00:39:53,434 in the first photo he sent me. 672 00:39:55,741 --> 00:39:59,048 I don't think he was ever capable of being 673 00:39:59,179 --> 00:40:03,444 a kind, loving, godly husband. 674 00:40:03,575 --> 00:40:06,099 I will always look over my shoulder. 675 00:40:06,229 --> 00:40:09,189 Even though he's been sentenced to life, 676 00:40:09,319 --> 00:40:11,409 he could get out in 25 years. 677 00:40:13,019 --> 00:40:14,890 If he ever gets out, 678 00:40:17,110 --> 00:40:18,590 it'll be the scariest day of my life. 679 00:40:31,385 --> 00:40:34,823 My faith today is stronger than ever. 680 00:40:34,954 --> 00:40:38,479 I believe that God is using, 681 00:40:38,610 --> 00:40:43,266 um, the bad situation to help others, 682 00:40:43,397 --> 00:40:46,052 um, kind of get out of a situation 683 00:40:46,182 --> 00:40:47,183 that they're potentially in. 684 00:40:48,794 --> 00:40:52,319 I felt a lot of guilt that if I would have just walked away, 685 00:40:52,450 --> 00:40:55,496 I would have my vision, and I wouldn't have pain constantly, 686 00:40:57,237 --> 00:41:00,545 but I'm put here to help others 687 00:41:00,675 --> 00:41:04,679 and to really create awareness around this. 688 00:41:09,597 --> 00:41:12,992 I believe that he was a fraud 689 00:41:13,122 --> 00:41:17,518 the entire time, that he never 690 00:41:17,649 --> 00:41:20,478 really loved me, and he never really came 691 00:41:20,608 --> 00:41:23,481 into this relationship wanting the same thing I wanted. 692 00:41:25,395 --> 00:41:28,616 I think the fact that I didn't have a father figure in my life 693 00:41:28,747 --> 00:41:31,053 and I didn't know what a healthy, 694 00:41:31,184 --> 00:41:34,404 good relationship looked like really made me vulnerable. 695 00:41:35,667 --> 00:41:37,582 He definitely found somebody that 696 00:41:37,712 --> 00:41:39,497 he could prey on. 697 00:41:39,627 --> 00:41:43,109 Looking back, I wasn't strong enough to walk away 698 00:41:43,239 --> 00:41:45,111 when I saw that first red flag. 699 00:41:49,463 --> 00:41:51,247 Even though he's locked up, 700 00:41:51,378 --> 00:41:55,295 I have learned how to protect myself, um... 701 00:41:55,425 --> 00:41:57,863 I carry a weapon with me. 702 00:41:57,993 --> 00:42:00,996 Um, it's a life that I never thought I would live. 703 00:42:04,217 --> 00:42:08,351 It's not just a dark alley where someone evil is gonna be. 704 00:42:08,482 --> 00:42:11,529 It could be somebody that's sitting right next to you, 705 00:42:11,659 --> 00:42:13,705 and you have no idea what they're thinking.