1 00:00:06,473 --> 00:00:09,475 GARONE: I was the victim of a crime, but... 2 00:00:09,576 --> 00:00:13,178 I have strong feelings about thinking of myself as a victim. 3 00:00:13,279 --> 00:00:15,180 And that's something that 4 00:00:15,281 --> 00:00:16,982 I've really determined 5 00:00:17,083 --> 00:00:19,451 I don't want to identify as. 6 00:00:22,589 --> 00:00:25,290 One day, after I had been married for several months, 7 00:00:25,392 --> 00:00:27,393 I came home, 8 00:00:27,494 --> 00:00:31,497 and at the doorstep was a box addressed to me. 9 00:00:32,699 --> 00:00:35,768 When I opened this package and saw was in it, 10 00:00:37,937 --> 00:00:39,171 I was so disgusted. 11 00:00:43,443 --> 00:00:44,777 I just need a second. Sorry. 12 00:00:47,947 --> 00:00:48,981 [quietly] Sorry. 13 00:00:49,082 --> 00:00:57,082 ♪♪ 14 00:00:58,158 --> 00:00:59,558 [sniffles] 15 00:00:59,659 --> 00:01:07,659 ♪♪ 16 00:01:09,202 --> 00:01:12,504 It created a dark mystery in my life 17 00:01:12,605 --> 00:01:15,574 that remained unsolved for a really long time. 18 00:01:15,675 --> 00:01:17,609 All told, it went on for about nine years. 19 00:01:20,380 --> 00:01:22,981 He was the puppet master 20 00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:26,585 pulling these terrible strings behind the scenes. 21 00:01:26,686 --> 00:01:30,122 There's just a revulsion and horror to that. 22 00:01:30,223 --> 00:01:32,891 He's a monster, and he needs to be put away. 23 00:01:40,433 --> 00:01:42,801 [The Paper Chase's "What's So Amazing About Grace?" plays] 24 00:01:42,902 --> 00:01:45,838 [strings continue playing sinister tune] 25 00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:50,943 [static crackling] 26 00:01:51,044 --> 00:01:52,711 [knock at door] [creaking] 27 00:01:52,812 --> 00:01:57,883 [banging on door] 28 00:01:57,984 --> 00:02:03,222 [creaking] 29 00:02:03,323 --> 00:02:05,858 [water dripping] 30 00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:08,527 [banging on door] [creaking] 31 00:02:08,628 --> 00:02:09,995 [sinister chord strikes] 32 00:02:17,904 --> 00:02:20,005 GARONE: I've never known my parents together. 33 00:02:20,106 --> 00:02:22,474 They separated when I was six weeks old, and shortly 34 00:02:22,575 --> 00:02:25,310 after that, when I was a toddler, we moved to Arizona. 35 00:02:25,411 --> 00:02:28,213 So I was raised primarily by my mom. 36 00:02:29,883 --> 00:02:32,985 My mom met Gary Hardy at church when I was 37 00:02:33,086 --> 00:02:34,419 eight years old. 38 00:02:34,521 --> 00:02:38,757 They were both in a music and drama ministry at our church, 39 00:02:38,858 --> 00:02:40,225 and that's when they really began to get to know 40 00:02:40,326 --> 00:02:41,460 each other. 41 00:02:41,561 --> 00:02:44,730 And right around the time I turned nine was when they had 42 00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:45,797 their first date, 43 00:02:45,899 --> 00:02:47,966 and six days later they got engaged, 44 00:02:48,034 --> 00:02:50,035 and three months later they got married. 45 00:02:53,306 --> 00:02:55,908 This is a picture of our new family 46 00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:59,011 on my mom and Gary's wedding day. 47 00:02:59,112 --> 00:03:02,381 I remember on this day I actually felt 48 00:03:02,482 --> 00:03:05,751 overjoyed for them. I saw how happy my mom was. 49 00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:07,519 This was a happy day for me. 50 00:03:09,289 --> 00:03:11,990 I see in this picture sort of the culmination of what I think 51 00:03:12,091 --> 00:03:14,660 my mom had been waiting for for a long time, 52 00:03:14,761 --> 00:03:18,297 to find someone to share her life with, to raise her kids 53 00:03:18,398 --> 00:03:20,465 with, to be a partner with, 54 00:03:20,567 --> 00:03:23,068 and I understand why she was so happy. 55 00:03:24,971 --> 00:03:27,306 Around this time was when I had a conversation with my mom 56 00:03:27,407 --> 00:03:29,308 and Gary and told them 57 00:03:29,409 --> 00:03:32,477 that I would be calling him dad from here on out. 58 00:03:32,579 --> 00:03:37,849 I remember Gary when I told him this having an extremely 59 00:03:37,951 --> 00:03:39,851 positive emotional reaction. 60 00:03:39,953 --> 00:03:43,789 I think he might have even cried, saying that this was 61 00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:45,157 so important and special to him. 62 00:03:45,258 --> 00:03:47,960 He was so glad that I would be calling him dad. 63 00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:52,965 I have wondered a lot if I factored into Gary's... 64 00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:57,202 Let's call it targeting... Of my mom and our family. 65 00:03:57,303 --> 00:04:01,073 I see a child who had a lot of innocence, 66 00:04:01,174 --> 00:04:03,675 and things were about to change 67 00:04:03,776 --> 00:04:05,377 and change pretty dramatically. 68 00:04:05,478 --> 00:04:08,113 He fooled all of us for 13 years. 69 00:04:08,214 --> 00:04:16,214 ♪♪ 70 00:04:18,124 --> 00:04:26,124 ♪♪ 71 00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:31,503 I think even from early on, I had 72 00:04:31,604 --> 00:04:35,941 a somewhat of a sense of mistrust toward Gary. 73 00:04:36,042 --> 00:04:38,176 When my mom and Gary got married and he moved into 74 00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:41,280 our home, Gary was a very affectionate person... 75 00:04:41,381 --> 00:04:43,448 AS GARY: Okay, kiddo. Time for bed. 76 00:04:44,550 --> 00:04:47,352 ...both with my mom and myself. 77 00:04:47,453 --> 00:04:51,056 He was a hugger. He loved to give hugs. 78 00:04:51,157 --> 00:04:53,158 What? No hug? 79 00:04:55,762 --> 00:04:58,864 GARONE: But I did not like Gary's hugs. 80 00:04:58,931 --> 00:05:02,200 They were too long, and they were too tight. 81 00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:06,271 Gary's hugs always felt possessive to me, and that 82 00:05:06,372 --> 00:05:09,574 just gave me a bad feeling, made me uncomfortable. 83 00:05:09,676 --> 00:05:12,377 But what can you do? You hug back. 84 00:05:12,478 --> 00:05:13,879 It always felt like he wanted more 85 00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:15,714 from me than I wanted to give. 86 00:05:15,815 --> 00:05:19,651 I think I felt obligated to hug in return, 87 00:05:19,752 --> 00:05:22,721 so I would just hug him back, because that was 88 00:05:22,822 --> 00:05:25,123 the expectation, and that was clearly what he wanted. 89 00:05:25,224 --> 00:05:28,694 But in those moments, I was always 90 00:05:28,795 --> 00:05:31,029 hesitant, wanting it to end. 91 00:05:34,467 --> 00:05:36,368 I think I was probably usually the one 92 00:05:36,469 --> 00:05:39,071 to pull away first from a hug from Gary. 93 00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:43,375 I think it's easy to, especially maybe as a child, 94 00:05:43,476 --> 00:05:46,945 just ignore those feelings or brush them off. 95 00:05:47,046 --> 00:05:49,314 You accept what you're given when 96 00:05:49,415 --> 00:05:51,149 you're a child, and it seems normal. 97 00:05:58,558 --> 00:06:00,759 This is a picture of Gary. 98 00:06:00,860 --> 00:06:03,161 Yeah, it's a pretty good snapshot of who Gary was. 99 00:06:03,262 --> 00:06:04,996 Always wore a polo shirt. 100 00:06:05,098 --> 00:06:06,765 He liked to wear a hat like this. 101 00:06:06,866 --> 00:06:08,900 He had a belly. 102 00:06:09,001 --> 00:06:12,404 He wasn't a glamorous guy, like, I look at him in this picture, 103 00:06:12,505 --> 00:06:16,742 and I think what a dweeb, he doesn't look cool at all. 104 00:06:18,778 --> 00:06:22,481 Gary appeared to be like a goofy, fuddy-duddy dad. 105 00:06:22,582 --> 00:06:30,489 ♪♪ 106 00:06:30,590 --> 00:06:36,328 ♪♪ 107 00:06:36,429 --> 00:06:37,763 There was one time... I must have had 108 00:06:37,864 --> 00:06:40,065 a really terrible nightmare. 109 00:06:40,166 --> 00:06:42,200 And I remember my mom wasn't there. 110 00:06:42,301 --> 00:06:44,136 I don't know where she was, but it was just Gary. 111 00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:46,738 And I remember going in in the middle 112 00:06:46,839 --> 00:06:49,641 of the night to tell him this. 113 00:06:49,742 --> 00:06:51,543 Hey, you. What's the matter? 114 00:06:51,644 --> 00:06:55,547 - I had a bad dream. - A bad dream? Come here. 115 00:06:56,949 --> 00:06:58,417 I was raised in a Christian household, 116 00:06:58,518 --> 00:07:01,787 and Gary seemed to be every bit as much of a faithful 117 00:07:01,921 --> 00:07:05,323 Christian as our family was, and... 118 00:07:06,926 --> 00:07:08,827 this is really difficult. 119 00:07:08,928 --> 00:07:14,032 But he had me sit in bed with him, and he prayed for me. 120 00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:17,002 Come here. Come on. Right here. 121 00:07:18,471 --> 00:07:21,206 All right. Bad dream, huh? 122 00:07:21,307 --> 00:07:22,941 Close your eyes. 123 00:07:23,042 --> 00:07:25,544 And... 124 00:07:25,645 --> 00:07:27,813 even though, you know, oh, he was praying for me, 125 00:07:27,914 --> 00:07:29,614 this should be a good thing, 126 00:07:29,715 --> 00:07:32,851 it was just the most uncomfortable, 127 00:07:32,952 --> 00:07:35,754 reviling feeling that I had from that. 128 00:07:35,855 --> 00:07:39,057 I had the sense that he didn't really want to comfort me 129 00:07:39,158 --> 00:07:42,127 and help me feel better from this horrible dream, 130 00:07:42,228 --> 00:07:44,663 but that he was turning it into an opportunistic thing 131 00:07:44,764 --> 00:07:46,131 for himself. 132 00:07:46,232 --> 00:07:49,601 And he would bring up that story subsequently 133 00:07:49,702 --> 00:07:52,671 many times about how wonderful that was 134 00:07:52,772 --> 00:07:56,775 that I came to him in my hour of distress, 135 00:07:56,876 --> 00:07:59,678 and I let him comfort me. 136 00:07:59,779 --> 00:08:02,447 [inhales deeply] 137 00:08:02,548 --> 00:08:03,849 Oh, sorry. This is, like, really... 138 00:08:03,950 --> 00:08:05,250 [makes sound of disgust] Um... 139 00:08:06,586 --> 00:08:08,920 All right, beat it. Go to bed. 140 00:08:12,758 --> 00:08:13,758 GARONE: I had a hard time even 141 00:08:13,860 --> 00:08:17,229 articulating to myself what I felt about Gary. 142 00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:19,364 Even when I did 143 00:08:19,465 --> 00:08:23,101 acknowledge the feelings I had, I would rationalize them away. 144 00:08:25,538 --> 00:08:28,874 It didn't seem like something that was worth sharing, 145 00:08:28,975 --> 00:08:30,542 even with my mom. 146 00:08:30,643 --> 00:08:34,446 But I remember thinking I... no matter what happens, 147 00:08:34,547 --> 00:08:35,881 like, if I ever have a bad dream again, 148 00:08:35,982 --> 00:08:38,216 I'm not coming to him for comfort. 149 00:08:38,317 --> 00:08:44,856 ♪♪ 150 00:08:44,957 --> 00:08:52,364 ♪♪ 151 00:08:52,465 --> 00:08:54,766 Going into ninth grade, I was really excited. 152 00:08:54,867 --> 00:08:56,134 There were some opportunities that were 153 00:08:56,235 --> 00:08:57,769 only available to the ninth graders. 154 00:08:57,870 --> 00:09:02,607 One of them was this pom squad cheer line kind of dance team 155 00:09:02,708 --> 00:09:05,277 that a lot of my friends and I had tried out for. 156 00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:06,645 They had said that they would inform us 157 00:09:06,746 --> 00:09:09,514 by mail if we had gotten onto the team. 158 00:09:09,615 --> 00:09:12,551 So every day, I was checking the mail with some 159 00:09:12,652 --> 00:09:15,320 anticipation to see if I had gotten this good news. 160 00:09:15,421 --> 00:09:19,457 One afternoon, I decided to go check the mail, 161 00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:22,527 and inside there was a package addressed to me. 162 00:09:22,628 --> 00:09:27,465 The return address said AJHS JAG. 163 00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:29,801 AJHS was Anderson Junior High School. 164 00:09:29,902 --> 00:09:32,337 And the name of this cheer squad was JAG line. 165 00:09:32,438 --> 00:09:33,705 So I thought, this is it! 166 00:09:33,806 --> 00:09:36,474 Got my acceptance, and it was nice and thick, 167 00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:39,077 which is always a good sign for an acceptance. 168 00:09:42,214 --> 00:09:45,584 So I pulled open the top, 169 00:09:45,718 --> 00:09:50,155 and I pulled out what I expected to be good news. 170 00:09:50,256 --> 00:09:54,326 And instead it was a stack of black and white 171 00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:56,294 pornography 172 00:09:56,395 --> 00:09:59,898 that looked like it had been photocopied onto these pages, 173 00:09:59,999 --> 00:10:01,466 page after page. 174 00:10:05,338 --> 00:10:08,640 The horror and revulsion was immediate. 175 00:10:08,741 --> 00:10:12,043 To this day, I can remember 176 00:10:12,144 --> 00:10:14,145 what I saw on the first page of it. 177 00:10:18,250 --> 00:10:20,318 It just shocked me to the point where I was 178 00:10:20,419 --> 00:10:23,054 shaking and crying. 179 00:10:23,155 --> 00:10:26,358 I do recall first thing just showing it to my parents 180 00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:30,629 and saying, "What is this? 181 00:10:30,696 --> 00:10:32,263 What is going on here?" 182 00:10:35,034 --> 00:10:38,436 Gary called the police and filed a police report. 183 00:10:38,537 --> 00:10:40,905 AS GARY: What kind of sicko would do something like this? 184 00:10:41,007 --> 00:10:43,341 "Who would do this to my daughter and why?" 185 00:10:43,442 --> 00:10:45,677 And, "Let's get to the bottom of this." 186 00:10:45,778 --> 00:10:49,614 I believe they asked me a few questions, whether I had 187 00:10:49,715 --> 00:10:53,518 any enemies, whether I had any ideas of who might do this. 188 00:10:53,619 --> 00:10:57,055 OFFICER: Can you think of anyone at school who would do this? 189 00:10:57,156 --> 00:10:59,758 - No. - Whoever it is, 190 00:10:59,859 --> 00:11:01,893 you better find him. 191 00:11:01,994 --> 00:11:04,496 GARONE: I felt thankful at that point that 192 00:11:04,597 --> 00:11:07,232 Gary was there to make the police report. 193 00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:10,435 Ultimately, they just took the contents of the package, 194 00:11:10,536 --> 00:11:13,405 filed a report, and we never heard anything 195 00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:15,206 about it after that. 196 00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:21,212 I think Gary saw himself as some sort of 197 00:11:21,313 --> 00:11:24,182 hero in his own bizarre 198 00:11:24,283 --> 00:11:25,750 superhero story, 199 00:11:25,851 --> 00:11:27,419 that he was getting away with this. 200 00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:30,789 I am not gonna let anything happen to you. Okay? 201 00:11:30,890 --> 00:11:33,291 It was scary to not know who would want to do this 202 00:11:33,392 --> 00:11:35,026 to me and why. 203 00:11:35,127 --> 00:11:37,862 Not to have any answers about this was frustrating, 204 00:11:37,963 --> 00:11:40,932 and it created a dark mystery 205 00:11:41,033 --> 00:11:45,003 in my life that remained unsolved for a really long time. 206 00:11:57,183 --> 00:12:02,053 This is a journal that I kept in 2003 and 2004. 207 00:12:06,092 --> 00:12:10,061 This is where I would express my thoughts, 208 00:12:10,162 --> 00:12:12,931 maybe tell my secrets, 209 00:12:13,032 --> 00:12:18,002 and you'll notice that there's pages and pages of writing, 210 00:12:18,104 --> 00:12:21,506 and then right here, right about in the middle, 211 00:12:21,607 --> 00:12:23,475 it stops, 212 00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:26,578 and there are blank pages for the entire rest of the journal. 213 00:12:28,347 --> 00:12:32,117 Typically, I kept my journals in my bedroom, 214 00:12:32,218 --> 00:12:34,185 but I would 215 00:12:34,286 --> 00:12:36,154 take them all over the house to write in them. 216 00:12:36,255 --> 00:12:39,991 And I know that there were times that I did leave them elsewhere. 217 00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:46,765 I never worried about anyone reading my journal. 218 00:12:46,866 --> 00:12:48,166 I figured that everybody in the house 219 00:12:48,267 --> 00:12:50,268 knew that this was off limits to them. 220 00:12:50,402 --> 00:12:52,303 But one day, I was looking for 221 00:12:52,404 --> 00:12:55,673 my journal, and I couldn't find it. 222 00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:58,143 I could have sworn I set it 223 00:12:58,244 --> 00:13:01,946 down in the living room on an end table. 224 00:13:02,047 --> 00:13:04,115 What's the matter? What are you looking for? 225 00:13:04,216 --> 00:13:06,551 I can't find my journal. 226 00:13:06,652 --> 00:13:08,853 GARONE: Gary's reaction about my missing journals seemed 227 00:13:08,954 --> 00:13:10,789 like everybody else's in my family. 228 00:13:10,890 --> 00:13:12,857 Just sort of mystified. "I don't know. 229 00:13:12,958 --> 00:13:13,958 "What do you think happened to it? 230 00:13:14,059 --> 00:13:15,126 Where do you think you left it?" 231 00:13:15,227 --> 00:13:17,028 I thought I left it right here. 232 00:13:17,129 --> 00:13:19,230 Retrace your steps. Maybe it's in your bedroom. 233 00:13:19,331 --> 00:13:23,301 There was never any indication, any suspicious activity of his. 234 00:13:23,402 --> 00:13:24,836 I checked, it's not. 235 00:13:24,937 --> 00:13:26,271 GARONE: So when it disappeared once, 236 00:13:26,372 --> 00:13:28,206 it didn't seem all that strange. 237 00:13:28,307 --> 00:13:30,809 But when it happened multiple times, 238 00:13:30,910 --> 00:13:33,344 there seemed to be a definite pattern. 239 00:13:33,445 --> 00:13:35,480 I'm sure it'll turn up somewhere. 240 00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:40,618 GARONE: My journal would go missing once every few months, 241 00:13:40,719 --> 00:13:43,087 it seems... it would just disappear, 242 00:13:43,189 --> 00:13:45,323 and I'd have to start a new one. 243 00:13:45,424 --> 00:13:48,059 I'm not a very absent-minded person. 244 00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:50,061 It didn't make sense for me to only 245 00:13:50,162 --> 00:13:54,532 be losing this one type of thing consistently, 246 00:13:54,633 --> 00:13:57,035 and the reason for that 247 00:13:57,136 --> 00:14:02,640 I can realize now, Gary enjoyed reading my private 248 00:14:02,741 --> 00:14:07,612 thoughts that I would never have confided in him, 249 00:14:07,713 --> 00:14:08,746 and this was a way of 250 00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:11,115 just taking that for himself without permission. 251 00:14:11,217 --> 00:14:15,453 ♪♪ 252 00:14:15,554 --> 00:14:21,960 ♪♪ 253 00:14:22,061 --> 00:14:25,163 After receiving the first package with the pornography, 254 00:14:25,264 --> 00:14:27,932 I was skittish about checking the mail. 255 00:14:28,033 --> 00:14:29,901 But as days went by, and then 256 00:14:30,002 --> 00:14:33,037 weeks and then months with no further incidents, 257 00:14:33,138 --> 00:14:35,373 I definitely felt a sense of relief, 258 00:14:35,474 --> 00:14:41,045 and it seemed to confirm that this was a one-time thing. 259 00:14:41,146 --> 00:14:44,515 About a year had passed since I received the first package, 260 00:14:44,617 --> 00:14:47,886 and one day after school, again, I went to check the mail. 261 00:14:49,822 --> 00:14:52,991 This time, there was an envelope addressed to me 262 00:14:53,092 --> 00:14:55,994 again with no return address 263 00:14:56,095 --> 00:14:58,229 and the stamp was upside down. 264 00:15:01,166 --> 00:15:04,235 I just had a sickening feeling, 265 00:15:04,336 --> 00:15:06,938 but I opened it, 266 00:15:07,039 --> 00:15:10,708 and this time, it was just 267 00:15:10,809 --> 00:15:14,946 8-by-10 color photos again, 268 00:15:15,047 --> 00:15:19,050 explicit sexual acts, 269 00:15:19,151 --> 00:15:21,519 and it had a message scrawled in what looked like 270 00:15:21,620 --> 00:15:22,720 red lipstick, saying, 271 00:15:22,821 --> 00:15:25,523 I love you, I want you, I need you! 272 00:15:25,624 --> 00:15:27,458 And it was signed with the name of a boy 273 00:15:27,559 --> 00:15:29,861 from my school who I had a crush on who was 274 00:15:29,962 --> 00:15:32,764 a foreign exchange student. His name was Hans. 275 00:15:32,865 --> 00:15:34,666 But I knew 276 00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:37,468 it could not possibly have been from him, 277 00:15:37,569 --> 00:15:40,805 because it resembled the first package so much. 278 00:15:40,906 --> 00:15:42,273 And at the time I received the first package, 279 00:15:42,374 --> 00:15:43,408 I didn't even know this boy. 280 00:15:43,509 --> 00:15:45,576 He wasn't even in the country, 281 00:15:45,678 --> 00:15:49,247 so someone knew that I liked this boy 282 00:15:49,348 --> 00:15:50,915 and was messing with me. 283 00:15:53,886 --> 00:15:56,788 Gary was the only other person at home with me, 284 00:15:56,889 --> 00:15:59,457 and I immediately took it to him. 285 00:15:59,558 --> 00:16:04,963 And I remember sitting with him on my bed, 286 00:16:05,064 --> 00:16:08,366 sobbing, and him putting his arm around me, hugging me, 287 00:16:08,467 --> 00:16:10,868 comforting me. 288 00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:13,237 We were looking at the envelope 289 00:16:13,339 --> 00:16:14,839 and saying, "Who could do this? 290 00:16:14,940 --> 00:16:16,975 Why would anyone do this? What is this about?" 291 00:16:17,076 --> 00:16:20,078 I think the person that sent this 292 00:16:20,179 --> 00:16:22,280 isn't mad at you. 293 00:16:22,381 --> 00:16:23,848 What do you mean? 294 00:16:23,949 --> 00:16:27,118 Gary said to me, "Well, you know, when someone puts" 295 00:16:27,219 --> 00:16:28,453 "a postage stamp upside down, 296 00:16:28,554 --> 00:16:30,621 you know what that means, right?" 297 00:16:30,723 --> 00:16:33,124 And I said, "No, I don't know what that means," and he said, 298 00:16:33,225 --> 00:16:34,392 "It means I love you." 299 00:16:34,493 --> 00:16:37,328 It's kind of like a secret code. 300 00:16:37,429 --> 00:16:39,797 I just remember chills going down my spine 301 00:16:39,898 --> 00:16:41,733 at that thought that... 302 00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:44,669 That this is someone's sick way of telling me 303 00:16:44,770 --> 00:16:47,071 that they love me? 304 00:16:47,172 --> 00:16:50,074 It was that much more disturbing. 305 00:16:50,175 --> 00:16:52,109 It's okay. 306 00:16:52,177 --> 00:16:55,079 Looking back, it's no surprise to me that this happened on 307 00:16:55,180 --> 00:16:58,016 a day that I would be alone in the house with Gary. 308 00:16:58,117 --> 00:17:01,285 My guess is that was intentional. 309 00:17:01,387 --> 00:17:02,687 He could be the hero. 310 00:17:02,788 --> 00:17:06,457 He'd be the comforter, saves the day, 311 00:17:06,558 --> 00:17:09,093 but at the same time 312 00:17:09,194 --> 00:17:13,498 witness my pain and anguish that he had caused. 313 00:17:14,666 --> 00:17:16,534 That makes me very angry, 314 00:17:16,668 --> 00:17:20,571 and it's pretty revolting to think that 315 00:17:20,672 --> 00:17:24,575 he might have done that with a very calculated intention. 316 00:17:24,676 --> 00:17:32,676 ♪♪ 317 00:17:34,586 --> 00:17:37,488 When I was in high school, my mom went to a therapy group 318 00:17:37,589 --> 00:17:39,023 on Monday nights, 319 00:17:39,124 --> 00:17:41,659 so that would take her out of the house for several hours. 320 00:17:41,760 --> 00:17:44,295 My brother had already left home for college, 321 00:17:44,396 --> 00:17:47,765 so it would just be me and Gary alone in the house. 322 00:17:49,735 --> 00:17:54,272 I increasingly had a sense sometimes of Gary looking at me 323 00:17:54,373 --> 00:17:56,908 in, uh, maybe an inappropriate way. 324 00:17:57,009 --> 00:17:59,477 I've never been a provocative dresser, 325 00:17:59,578 --> 00:18:04,015 but at those times when I wore something that was maybe 326 00:18:04,116 --> 00:18:05,516 a little out of character for me, 327 00:18:05,617 --> 00:18:08,920 maybe a little bit low-cut or a little bit tighter, 328 00:18:09,021 --> 00:18:12,757 I would notice Gary 329 00:18:12,858 --> 00:18:15,593 just eyeing me, 330 00:18:15,694 --> 00:18:18,096 looking a little bit too long at me. 331 00:18:20,666 --> 00:18:24,535 And I think as a woman, you just get a sense when a man is 332 00:18:24,636 --> 00:18:27,338 looking at you in a... In a different kind of way, 333 00:18:27,439 --> 00:18:29,707 with a different intention. 334 00:18:29,808 --> 00:18:32,176 But I was able to rationalize it 335 00:18:32,277 --> 00:18:34,946 again and think, eh, I'm probably making it up. 336 00:18:35,047 --> 00:18:36,714 Okay, I'm out. 337 00:18:36,815 --> 00:18:39,117 GARONE: Everyone else in my family didn't 338 00:18:39,218 --> 00:18:41,285 seem to have these feelings about him. 339 00:18:41,386 --> 00:18:45,323 My mom loved him, was happy to be with him. 340 00:18:47,559 --> 00:18:51,629 So that makes it easier to rationalize 341 00:18:51,730 --> 00:18:54,065 and explain it away. 342 00:18:54,166 --> 00:18:56,033 [indistinct talking on TV] 343 00:19:02,741 --> 00:19:06,711 He confessed to my mom that he had a... 344 00:19:06,812 --> 00:19:08,446 pornography addiction. 345 00:19:08,547 --> 00:19:10,648 Obviously, he probably is the one that sent me 346 00:19:10,749 --> 00:19:12,216 these packages. 347 00:19:26,231 --> 00:19:28,032 I would sometimes do some clerical work for Gary in 348 00:19:28,133 --> 00:19:29,400 his office, and he would take me 349 00:19:29,501 --> 00:19:31,402 out to lunch at fancy restaurants. 350 00:19:33,772 --> 00:19:35,573 When we would go out for these lunches, 351 00:19:35,674 --> 00:19:39,510 he would do little things to make it appear 352 00:19:39,611 --> 00:19:41,879 that maybe I was his date instead of his daughter, 353 00:19:41,980 --> 00:19:45,316 and that might look like putting his hand on my back 354 00:19:45,417 --> 00:19:47,351 to lead me into the restaurant 355 00:19:47,452 --> 00:19:51,189 or reaching out for my hand across the table. 356 00:19:54,426 --> 00:19:58,095 It made me feel gross and uncomfortable, 357 00:19:58,197 --> 00:20:01,165 and it made me feel like he was trying to use me as a prop 358 00:20:01,233 --> 00:20:04,335 for some sort of ego stroking 359 00:20:04,436 --> 00:20:07,805 gratification of looking like he could be out to a nice lunch 360 00:20:07,906 --> 00:20:11,008 with a woman less than half his age. 361 00:20:11,109 --> 00:20:12,176 I just love it when you come by 362 00:20:12,277 --> 00:20:15,313 the office and we can spend some quality time together. 363 00:20:15,414 --> 00:20:17,348 GARONE: But even though it creeped me out 364 00:20:17,449 --> 00:20:20,885 and I didn't like it, I would kind of tell myself, 365 00:20:20,986 --> 00:20:25,456 maybe it's more benign than I want to think it is. 366 00:20:25,557 --> 00:20:28,226 Even though you might think, oh, well, obviously, 367 00:20:28,327 --> 00:20:32,630 he probably is the one that sent me these packages... didn't 368 00:20:32,731 --> 00:20:36,601 necessarily connect in my mind to the packages. 369 00:20:36,702 --> 00:20:37,935 Cheers. 370 00:20:39,771 --> 00:20:41,505 He's never, like, made a pass at me. 371 00:20:41,607 --> 00:20:45,676 He's never grabbed my butt... It was all subtle enough 372 00:20:45,777 --> 00:20:49,680 that you could kind of just sweep it under the rug. 373 00:20:49,781 --> 00:20:56,520 ♪♪ 374 00:20:56,622 --> 00:21:04,622 ♪♪ 375 00:21:05,163 --> 00:21:08,065 When I was 15, I found out that Gary was being 376 00:21:08,133 --> 00:21:11,602 let go from his work for viewing pornography 377 00:21:11,703 --> 00:21:13,070 on his work computer. 378 00:21:13,171 --> 00:21:15,306 [distant shouting] 379 00:21:15,407 --> 00:21:18,376 My mom and Gary would fight behind closed doors 380 00:21:18,477 --> 00:21:19,744 most of the time, 381 00:21:19,845 --> 00:21:21,445 so we would hear sort of muffled arguments. 382 00:21:21,546 --> 00:21:25,950 [distant shouting] 383 00:21:26,051 --> 00:21:28,286 He confessed to my mom that he had 384 00:21:28,387 --> 00:21:30,488 a pornography addiction. 385 00:21:30,589 --> 00:21:33,357 It definitely came as a surprise. 386 00:21:33,458 --> 00:21:37,595 It felt awkward and strange to know that Gary, 387 00:21:37,696 --> 00:21:41,032 my dad, was into this type of thing. 388 00:21:43,835 --> 00:21:46,103 Looking back, I think finding out that Gary had a problem 389 00:21:46,204 --> 00:21:50,207 with pornography should have been a really strong indicator 390 00:21:50,309 --> 00:21:52,810 that he was the one who had sent me these packages. 391 00:21:52,911 --> 00:21:55,279 But at that point in my life, 392 00:21:55,380 --> 00:21:59,183 I had been told pornography is everywhere. 393 00:21:59,284 --> 00:22:03,187 Every man you know looks at it, and it's all over the place. 394 00:22:03,288 --> 00:22:05,690 Right? So because of that, 395 00:22:05,791 --> 00:22:09,260 I had a sense that it wasn't all that uncommon for someone 396 00:22:09,361 --> 00:22:10,828 to get caught up in this. 397 00:22:10,929 --> 00:22:14,198 Don't worry, we'll work it out. 398 00:22:14,299 --> 00:22:16,934 GARONE: My mom let me know that she and Gary were going to work 399 00:22:17,035 --> 00:22:18,703 through this by going 400 00:22:18,804 --> 00:22:22,306 to therapy together, and because his reaction to me 401 00:22:22,407 --> 00:22:26,143 receiving these packages was so comforting, 402 00:22:26,244 --> 00:22:28,346 it just didn't add up. 403 00:22:28,447 --> 00:22:29,880 Even if he likes to look at it, too, 404 00:22:30,015 --> 00:22:34,552 it doesn't mean he would harm me in this way. 405 00:22:34,653 --> 00:22:42,226 ♪♪ 406 00:22:42,327 --> 00:22:46,097 I graduated from high school, and I was still 17 when I moved 407 00:22:46,198 --> 00:22:49,467 out of the house, and I went across the country to a college 408 00:22:49,568 --> 00:22:51,602 outside Chicago. 409 00:22:51,703 --> 00:22:53,070 When I went away to college, 410 00:22:53,171 --> 00:22:58,342 I really enjoyed a period of no incidents of harassment. 411 00:23:00,545 --> 00:23:01,779 That was beautiful. 412 00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:04,448 It was really nice for 413 00:23:04,549 --> 00:23:06,350 at least the first two years. 414 00:23:06,451 --> 00:23:08,719 That was all the more convincing that whoever 415 00:23:08,820 --> 00:23:12,623 had done this to me was someone I knew in high school. 416 00:23:12,724 --> 00:23:16,093 The summer before my senior year of college, 417 00:23:16,194 --> 00:23:20,664 I got engaged to the man who's now my husband of 16 years. 418 00:23:20,766 --> 00:23:23,667 When I got engaged, things begin to happen again. 419 00:23:23,769 --> 00:23:26,303 And it started with my email. 420 00:23:28,807 --> 00:23:32,710 - Oh, my God. - What happened? 421 00:23:32,811 --> 00:23:36,213 I would get signed up for all sorts 422 00:23:36,314 --> 00:23:40,418 of subscriptions that I didn't sign myself up for, 423 00:23:40,519 --> 00:23:43,654 and often times, they were sexual in nature. 424 00:23:43,755 --> 00:23:46,457 So lingerie catalogs, for example. 425 00:23:46,558 --> 00:23:48,726 It happened again. 426 00:23:48,827 --> 00:23:51,796 I didn't send these. 427 00:23:51,863 --> 00:23:56,233 And then it turned into a much bigger 428 00:23:56,334 --> 00:24:00,604 violation when friends of mine began to receive emails, 429 00:24:00,705 --> 00:24:04,141 not really from me, but from my account. 430 00:24:04,242 --> 00:24:06,944 At least one friend received some of 431 00:24:07,045 --> 00:24:10,681 the very romantic and very personal emails 432 00:24:10,782 --> 00:24:15,920 I sent my then fiance, so clearly, someone had 433 00:24:16,021 --> 00:24:19,623 access to my email and was doing a lot 434 00:24:19,724 --> 00:24:21,192 of untoward things with it. 435 00:24:21,293 --> 00:24:22,693 Let me try something. 436 00:24:25,530 --> 00:24:27,398 I think I can figure out where these emails are 437 00:24:27,499 --> 00:24:29,300 coming from. 438 00:24:29,401 --> 00:24:32,369 So my fiance at the time, who was studying computer science, 439 00:24:32,471 --> 00:24:34,972 knew a lot about how to trace emails. 440 00:24:38,210 --> 00:24:40,845 - Huh. - What? 441 00:24:40,946 --> 00:24:43,247 GARONE: It turned out that the emails were coming from 442 00:24:43,348 --> 00:24:45,349 Chandler, Arizona, which is where 443 00:24:45,450 --> 00:24:47,818 I was raised and where my parents lived. 444 00:24:50,755 --> 00:24:52,623 Finding out that these emails were coming 445 00:24:52,724 --> 00:24:55,726 from my hometown was a big revelation. 446 00:24:57,162 --> 00:24:58,696 We need to call your mom. 447 00:24:58,797 --> 00:25:00,898 We told my mom and Gary where this 448 00:25:00,999 --> 00:25:05,402 was coming from, and he spun that like crazy. 449 00:25:05,504 --> 00:25:08,772 He had an explanation, you know, about it 450 00:25:08,874 --> 00:25:11,008 had to be somebody from high school. 451 00:25:11,109 --> 00:25:12,977 He turned it into, 452 00:25:13,078 --> 00:25:14,612 "Well, see how this is evidence? All along, 453 00:25:14,713 --> 00:25:16,780 "I've been telling you, some weirdo 454 00:25:16,882 --> 00:25:18,849 at your high school who was doing this to you." 455 00:25:18,950 --> 00:25:24,355 His reaction to it was convincing. 456 00:25:24,456 --> 00:25:28,125 It seemed like no matter how many times I'd changed 457 00:25:28,226 --> 00:25:31,629 my password, inevitably, 458 00:25:31,730 --> 00:25:36,100 some strange or inappropriate new thing would happen. 459 00:25:36,201 --> 00:25:38,736 But sometimes when I would come home from college, 460 00:25:38,837 --> 00:25:42,106 I would log into my email on Gary's computer, 461 00:25:42,207 --> 00:25:44,775 thinking nothing of this. 462 00:25:44,876 --> 00:25:47,378 What I didn't realize was that he had a program 463 00:25:47,479 --> 00:25:49,446 on his computer that was tracking 464 00:25:49,548 --> 00:25:52,082 and saving my keystrokes in order for him to get 465 00:25:52,183 --> 00:25:53,751 my password. 466 00:25:53,852 --> 00:25:57,955 And that's how he continued to hack my email. 467 00:25:58,056 --> 00:26:03,894 ♪♪ 468 00:26:05,864 --> 00:26:10,234 ♪♪ 469 00:26:10,335 --> 00:26:16,507 ♪♪ 470 00:26:16,608 --> 00:26:19,410 I heard his footsteps, it felt 471 00:26:19,511 --> 00:26:21,312 a little bit like I was being watched. 472 00:26:30,622 --> 00:26:32,623 Mm. 473 00:26:32,724 --> 00:26:35,659 This picture is from my wedding day. 474 00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:38,295 This is me and Gary. 475 00:26:38,396 --> 00:26:40,864 He looks very strange. 476 00:26:40,966 --> 00:26:43,100 He doesn't look happy. 477 00:26:43,201 --> 00:26:47,638 When I got engaged, he seemed really frazzled by that. 478 00:26:47,739 --> 00:26:52,910 He felt a sense of possession of me. 479 00:26:53,011 --> 00:26:54,378 During our father-daughter dance, 480 00:26:54,479 --> 00:26:57,815 I was very uncomfortable with the way he was holding me, 481 00:26:57,916 --> 00:26:59,683 and I kept trying to pull away, 482 00:26:59,784 --> 00:27:01,485 and I think he was picking up on it 483 00:27:01,586 --> 00:27:04,922 and just refused to release his grip a little bit. 484 00:27:05,023 --> 00:27:08,792 I just feel really grossed out thinking about all... 485 00:27:08,893 --> 00:27:12,396 All of those circumstances surrounding that day. 486 00:27:19,504 --> 00:27:20,971 Leading up to my wedding day, 487 00:27:21,072 --> 00:27:23,540 I had gotten my wedding dress back from alterations, 488 00:27:23,642 --> 00:27:26,443 and it was ready to go for the big day. 489 00:27:26,511 --> 00:27:30,581 So I went into my bedroom to put the dress on. 490 00:27:30,682 --> 00:27:32,650 It was nighttime, and Gary had said he was 491 00:27:32,751 --> 00:27:35,519 going to be taking out the trash right then. 492 00:27:35,620 --> 00:27:38,322 He'd be right back to come see me in the dress. 493 00:27:40,458 --> 00:27:44,461 My bedroom was on the side of the house next 494 00:27:44,562 --> 00:27:48,232 to the side yard where we would keep the trash cans. 495 00:27:48,333 --> 00:27:51,502 I was getting undressed, and I heard his footsteps 496 00:27:51,603 --> 00:27:54,071 on the side of the house where my window faced, 497 00:27:54,172 --> 00:27:57,241 and I heard the sound of 498 00:27:57,342 --> 00:28:00,344 the pail being dragged across the gravel. 499 00:28:00,445 --> 00:28:02,813 And then I heard these sounds stop. 500 00:28:07,285 --> 00:28:11,055 It just gave me this sort of chilling sense. 501 00:28:11,156 --> 00:28:14,558 I felt a little bit like I was being watched, 502 00:28:14,659 --> 00:28:17,728 especially because there was a section of my blinds 503 00:28:17,829 --> 00:28:20,297 that was actually missing. 504 00:28:20,398 --> 00:28:24,234 I've wondered, why exactly were those blinds missing? 505 00:28:24,335 --> 00:28:26,970 There was a lot of just telling myself, 506 00:28:27,072 --> 00:28:28,772 it's your imagination. 507 00:28:28,873 --> 00:28:31,341 Maybe it was our cat... our cat would go behind the blinds, 508 00:28:31,443 --> 00:28:34,244 get playful, and poke out a little section. 509 00:28:36,014 --> 00:28:39,016 I'll never know for sure if it was Gary outside, 510 00:28:39,117 --> 00:28:40,984 but I felt watched, 511 00:28:41,086 --> 00:28:44,288 and I just made sure to turn my back to the window 512 00:28:44,389 --> 00:28:45,656 as I got changed. 513 00:28:51,930 --> 00:28:53,964 This is my bedroom, 514 00:28:54,065 --> 00:28:59,636 and I can see this piece of the blinds that's turned down. 515 00:28:59,738 --> 00:29:01,038 When this wedding dress incident happened, 516 00:29:01,139 --> 00:29:03,707 there were more of these blinds that were turned down. 517 00:29:03,808 --> 00:29:06,143 But you know what strikes me when I look 518 00:29:06,244 --> 00:29:11,148 at the blinds and where that piece is missing, 519 00:29:11,249 --> 00:29:15,385 turned down, that's not where the cat would have been. 520 00:29:15,487 --> 00:29:18,455 Cat was not 4 feet tall. 521 00:29:18,556 --> 00:29:20,858 Even if she jumped up on the windowsill, 522 00:29:20,959 --> 00:29:22,926 she couldn't have poked her head that far through 523 00:29:23,027 --> 00:29:27,030 the blinds, so I think that's pretty interesting. 524 00:29:27,132 --> 00:29:30,934 Looking at this, I suspect that it would have been Gary 525 00:29:31,035 --> 00:29:34,271 who did that in order to be able to look into the room at me. 526 00:29:37,342 --> 00:29:42,579 ♪♪ 527 00:29:42,680 --> 00:29:46,283 One of the scariest parts about these years of harassment 528 00:29:46,384 --> 00:29:49,419 was that no matter where I went, it followed me. 529 00:29:51,422 --> 00:29:54,391 Even after I got married and moved into my own apartment 530 00:29:54,492 --> 00:29:55,659 with my husband, 531 00:29:55,760 --> 00:29:58,162 at least a couple of times, my journal would go missing 532 00:29:58,263 --> 00:30:00,197 from our home again. 533 00:30:01,399 --> 00:30:04,268 And, at this point, 534 00:30:04,369 --> 00:30:08,305 it wasn't just my journal that was missing. 535 00:30:08,406 --> 00:30:11,675 Occasionally, pieces of my underwear would go missing, 536 00:30:11,776 --> 00:30:12,810 as well. 537 00:30:14,479 --> 00:30:16,780 And I thought, maybe I'm absent-minded or it 538 00:30:16,881 --> 00:30:21,451 got eaten in the dryer... just a classic thing that happens. 539 00:30:21,553 --> 00:30:25,622 So I tried to explain it away with that sort of rationale. 540 00:30:25,723 --> 00:30:27,991 But when it happens enough times, 541 00:30:28,092 --> 00:30:31,695 you begin to get suspicious that someone's taking these things. 542 00:30:31,796 --> 00:30:35,632 -I feel like a crazy person. It happened again? 543 00:30:35,733 --> 00:30:37,434 - What's missing? - GARONE: At one point, 544 00:30:37,535 --> 00:30:40,804 the lingerie that I had picked out and worn for our wedding 545 00:30:40,905 --> 00:30:45,375 night went missing from my dresser drawer, 546 00:30:45,476 --> 00:30:49,413 and I knew it couldn't have gotten lost in the wash. 547 00:30:49,514 --> 00:30:53,984 So I knew someone was coming into my apartment 548 00:30:54,085 --> 00:30:55,552 and had to have taken it. 549 00:30:55,653 --> 00:30:59,523 Maybe we should get the locks changed just to be safe. 550 00:30:59,624 --> 00:31:03,060 And all we could think was maybe we were leaving our door 551 00:31:03,161 --> 00:31:05,529 unlocked sometimes without realizing it, 552 00:31:05,630 --> 00:31:09,032 not remembering... What we didn't realize 553 00:31:09,133 --> 00:31:12,569 was at one point, Gary took our apartment key and made 554 00:31:12,670 --> 00:31:14,671 a copy, so he was able 555 00:31:14,772 --> 00:31:17,975 to access our apartment at any time. 556 00:31:18,076 --> 00:31:19,476 All of these things really did put us 557 00:31:19,577 --> 00:31:20,978 on edge, me and my husband. 558 00:31:21,079 --> 00:31:24,982 And so a time went by, we did feel very shaken up 559 00:31:25,083 --> 00:31:26,416 and very paranoid. 560 00:31:29,420 --> 00:31:35,525 ♪♪ 561 00:31:35,627 --> 00:31:39,196 One day after I had been married for several months, 562 00:31:39,297 --> 00:31:43,267 I came home, and at the doorstep was a box 563 00:31:43,368 --> 00:31:45,435 addressed to me. 564 00:31:45,536 --> 00:31:48,739 But I didn't recognize the name or the return address. 565 00:31:50,942 --> 00:31:52,142 Seemed a little strange. 566 00:31:52,243 --> 00:31:55,279 I wasn't expecting anything, 567 00:31:55,380 --> 00:31:59,449 but on the other hand, I guess foolishly maybe 568 00:31:59,550 --> 00:32:01,251 I didn't learn my lesson, and I just... 569 00:32:01,352 --> 00:32:03,487 You still get excited to get a package in the mail, 570 00:32:03,588 --> 00:32:07,357 so I wasn't thinking much of it. 571 00:32:08,559 --> 00:32:11,895 I opened the package, 572 00:32:11,996 --> 00:32:15,365 and inside was a sex toy, 573 00:32:17,201 --> 00:32:20,771 and on this object was a printed label 574 00:32:20,872 --> 00:32:23,373 with my husband's name on it, 575 00:32:23,474 --> 00:32:24,741 taped to this thing. 576 00:32:27,679 --> 00:32:31,448 This was much more extreme and invasive than 577 00:32:31,549 --> 00:32:35,185 the other packages that I had received in the past. 578 00:32:35,286 --> 00:32:39,056 This one had me spiraling 579 00:32:39,157 --> 00:32:41,758 and just terrified. 580 00:32:41,859 --> 00:32:44,161 I was so disgusted 581 00:32:44,262 --> 00:32:45,862 and so disgusted that someone was thinking 582 00:32:45,997 --> 00:32:47,864 of me with this thing in mind. 583 00:32:47,966 --> 00:32:49,566 [quietly] Sorry. 584 00:32:56,808 --> 00:32:58,809 I'm sorry, I didn't expect to get emotional. 585 00:32:58,910 --> 00:33:00,711 Okay. 586 00:33:07,652 --> 00:33:10,387 I went to enter my apartment, 587 00:33:10,521 --> 00:33:12,055 and the door was unlocked, and I was 588 00:33:12,156 --> 00:33:15,092 not sure if I had left the door unlocked. 589 00:33:15,193 --> 00:33:18,762 I was in just such a... A state of upset 590 00:33:18,863 --> 00:33:22,332 and disarray, so I called my husband first to say, 591 00:33:22,400 --> 00:33:24,901 "Can you please come home and be with me? 592 00:33:25,003 --> 00:33:26,169 I do not want to be alone." 593 00:33:26,270 --> 00:33:29,106 I think we've been broken into. 594 00:33:29,207 --> 00:33:31,241 Call me back as soon as you get this. 595 00:33:31,342 --> 00:33:33,310 And unfortunately, he was tied up in a meeting 596 00:33:33,411 --> 00:33:35,145 30 minutes away. 597 00:33:35,246 --> 00:33:38,281 And so the next person I called was Gary. 598 00:33:38,383 --> 00:33:40,317 It's Sarah. 599 00:33:40,418 --> 00:33:42,686 His office was right around the corner from our apartment 600 00:33:42,787 --> 00:33:45,655 at that time, and he came rushing over. 601 00:33:50,361 --> 00:33:52,763 He was kind of all business, 602 00:33:54,332 --> 00:33:57,167 like, I'm gonna be here to, you know, be 603 00:33:57,268 --> 00:33:59,503 your protector, and we're gonna call the police. 604 00:33:59,604 --> 00:34:02,239 We're gonna find out who did this to you. 605 00:34:04,542 --> 00:34:08,045 He played the hero. 606 00:34:08,146 --> 00:34:11,014 He looked behind all the doors. 607 00:34:11,115 --> 00:34:16,620 I remember even a sense of almost like anger on his part. 608 00:34:16,721 --> 00:34:17,821 "Who would do this to you? 609 00:34:17,922 --> 00:34:20,757 "I can't believe this is still happening to you. 610 00:34:20,858 --> 00:34:23,827 "Can you believe that they found you again after all these years, 611 00:34:23,928 --> 00:34:25,595 after all these moves." 612 00:34:25,696 --> 00:34:28,832 I can't believe somebody would follow you all this time. 613 00:34:28,933 --> 00:34:32,169 I am gonna take care of it. Okay? 614 00:34:32,270 --> 00:34:34,304 He investigated the whole space. 615 00:34:34,405 --> 00:34:38,108 And then he called the police and filed the report 616 00:34:38,209 --> 00:34:40,043 about this incident himself. 617 00:34:46,751 --> 00:34:49,953 I think Gary was very skilled at the game 618 00:34:50,054 --> 00:34:51,088 that he was playing. 619 00:34:51,189 --> 00:34:53,223 He was very good at it. 620 00:34:53,324 --> 00:34:58,061 He knew how to exhibit all the right behaviors on 621 00:34:58,162 --> 00:35:02,432 the surface so that I could never suspect 622 00:35:02,500 --> 00:35:05,202 that this was him, but then, if I ever did, 623 00:35:05,269 --> 00:35:07,971 he could have all this evidence to point to. 624 00:35:08,072 --> 00:35:09,840 "I'm not like that. I'm like this. 625 00:35:09,941 --> 00:35:12,943 Look how I treat you." It's such a mind game. 626 00:35:13,044 --> 00:35:15,879 It makes me angry. It disgusts me. 627 00:35:15,980 --> 00:35:20,250 I think keeping us in suspense, keeping us guessing, 628 00:35:20,351 --> 00:35:22,752 I think somehow to Gary that felt exciting, 629 00:35:22,854 --> 00:35:24,588 that he was getting away with this. 630 00:35:27,859 --> 00:35:31,661 ♪♪ 631 00:35:31,762 --> 00:35:36,733 ♪♪ 632 00:35:36,834 --> 00:35:38,702 [phone ringing] 633 00:35:38,803 --> 00:35:41,104 I got a phone call, and a detective 634 00:35:41,205 --> 00:35:42,672 introduced himself and said, 635 00:35:42,773 --> 00:35:44,941 "We think we've found your harasser." 636 00:35:45,042 --> 00:35:49,746 And then he asked me if I knew someone named Gary Hardy. 637 00:36:02,393 --> 00:36:03,860 GARONE: Not long after the police report 638 00:36:03,961 --> 00:36:06,730 was filed about this most recent package, 639 00:36:06,831 --> 00:36:09,132 [phone ringing] 640 00:36:09,233 --> 00:36:10,467 I got a phone call. 641 00:36:10,568 --> 00:36:12,335 Hello? 642 00:36:12,436 --> 00:36:15,639 And a detective introduced himself. 643 00:36:15,740 --> 00:36:19,876 And then he asked me if I knew someone named Gary Hardy. 644 00:36:22,313 --> 00:36:25,549 I knew what was coming next, 645 00:36:25,650 --> 00:36:28,652 and in that moment, I think I had two feelings. 646 00:36:28,753 --> 00:36:34,124 One was horror, and one was relief, 647 00:36:34,225 --> 00:36:36,660 and when I explained that was my stepdad, 648 00:36:36,761 --> 00:36:40,697 the detectives said, "We think we've found your harasser." 649 00:36:40,798 --> 00:36:42,999 Oh, my God. 650 00:36:43,067 --> 00:36:46,836 GARONE: The detective informed me that Gary's secretary 651 00:36:46,938 --> 00:36:49,239 had filed a separate police report 652 00:36:49,340 --> 00:36:53,310 of her own, because Gary's secretary opened his mail as 653 00:36:53,411 --> 00:36:54,711 part of her job. 654 00:36:54,812 --> 00:36:59,182 And one day, prior to me receiving this package, 655 00:36:59,283 --> 00:37:02,652 she opened a package that contained a sex toy, 656 00:37:02,753 --> 00:37:05,922 and she closed it up, pretended never to have seen it. 657 00:37:06,023 --> 00:37:07,924 And lo and behold, a few days later, 658 00:37:08,025 --> 00:37:11,761 this thing arrives on my doorstep. 659 00:37:11,862 --> 00:37:14,965 The day that I called Gary to come help me, 660 00:37:15,066 --> 00:37:18,201 he went back to the office afterward and told his 661 00:37:18,302 --> 00:37:20,837 secretary exactly what it was that I had received. 662 00:37:20,938 --> 00:37:22,806 And at that moment, she realized this was 663 00:37:22,907 --> 00:37:25,675 the same object she had seen in his office. 664 00:37:27,245 --> 00:37:30,213 She put the pieces together 665 00:37:30,314 --> 00:37:32,181 that this was Gary doing this to me. 666 00:37:32,250 --> 00:37:35,151 And so she filed her own police report. 667 00:37:35,253 --> 00:37:43,253 ♪♪ 668 00:37:43,561 --> 00:37:46,963 Once we knew that this most recent package had come 669 00:37:47,064 --> 00:37:49,299 from Gary, 670 00:37:49,400 --> 00:37:51,468 we knew that all the other packages 671 00:37:51,569 --> 00:37:56,039 and letters and email hacks had to have been him. 672 00:37:56,140 --> 00:37:59,342 Thinking about all the times Gary had 673 00:37:59,443 --> 00:38:02,145 come to the rescue, supposedly, and tried 674 00:38:02,246 --> 00:38:06,750 to be the hero in each situation, 675 00:38:06,851 --> 00:38:12,355 it just made me sick, and it made me angry 676 00:38:12,456 --> 00:38:16,059 that he had played me in that way. 677 00:38:16,160 --> 00:38:18,161 But ultimately, even though it was 678 00:38:18,262 --> 00:38:22,332 a horrible revelation to find out the truth, 679 00:38:22,433 --> 00:38:24,868 there's a lot of freedom in that and a lot of relief. 680 00:38:24,969 --> 00:38:26,436 There was also grief. 681 00:38:27,972 --> 00:38:31,408 There was the sense that everything we knew 682 00:38:31,509 --> 00:38:33,743 about our life as a family was a lie, 683 00:38:35,913 --> 00:38:38,848 and that everything was going to change from here. 684 00:38:41,018 --> 00:38:43,420 He did willingly go to the police station 685 00:38:43,521 --> 00:38:44,854 and was arrested there. 686 00:38:51,929 --> 00:38:54,931 This is an email that Gary sent to me 687 00:38:55,032 --> 00:38:57,634 on July 19, 2005. 688 00:38:57,735 --> 00:39:00,970 "To Sarah, I'm ashamed of what I did to you. 689 00:39:01,072 --> 00:39:02,806 "I realize saying I'm sorry doesn't come close 690 00:39:02,907 --> 00:39:04,274 "to healing the pain and anguish 691 00:39:04,375 --> 00:39:06,276 "I have caused you the past 10 years. 692 00:39:06,377 --> 00:39:09,346 "My actions were despicable, deceitful, and tormented 693 00:39:09,447 --> 00:39:11,948 "you in ways I cannot even imagine. 694 00:39:12,049 --> 00:39:14,484 "I'm so ashamed at how I could possibly assault 695 00:39:14,585 --> 00:39:17,921 "and deceive someone whom I did love and cherish. 696 00:39:18,022 --> 00:39:20,657 "You were a precious gift entrusted to me 697 00:39:20,758 --> 00:39:23,526 "by your mom and by God, and I abused that gift, 698 00:39:23,627 --> 00:39:25,161 and I'm very, very sorry." 699 00:39:27,365 --> 00:39:29,699 I didn't believe this at all. 700 00:39:31,202 --> 00:39:32,769 You've done these behaviors for 10 years. 701 00:39:32,870 --> 00:39:35,739 Now you're sorry? Why? Because you got caught. 702 00:39:37,541 --> 00:39:40,844 And they still are just kind of silly, 703 00:39:40,945 --> 00:39:42,278 meaningless words to me. 704 00:39:42,380 --> 00:39:45,115 Maybe also because words like this 705 00:39:45,216 --> 00:39:48,084 imply a genuine relationship. 706 00:39:48,185 --> 00:39:50,387 And I don't want a genuine relationship with him. 707 00:39:52,356 --> 00:39:55,525 A line that bothers me from this email is 708 00:39:55,626 --> 00:39:58,995 "you were a precious gift entrusted to me by your mom 709 00:39:59,096 --> 00:40:00,330 and by God." 710 00:40:02,032 --> 00:40:05,402 I don't think of myself as a gift to be given or to be had, 711 00:40:05,503 --> 00:40:08,405 really, unless I so choose. 712 00:40:08,506 --> 00:40:12,642 ♪♪ 713 00:40:12,743 --> 00:40:19,382 ♪♪ 714 00:40:19,483 --> 00:40:25,889 ♪♪ 715 00:40:25,990 --> 00:40:28,858 Gary received a plea bargain that would have given him 716 00:40:28,959 --> 00:40:32,262 something like one or two years total in prison, 717 00:40:32,363 --> 00:40:34,898 and he chose not to take it, 718 00:40:34,999 --> 00:40:36,699 and I'm very happy about that. 719 00:40:38,235 --> 00:40:42,105 Ultimately, I think Gary's, like, great dream here 720 00:40:42,206 --> 00:40:44,574 would have been to have some type of 721 00:40:44,675 --> 00:40:47,043 sexual relationship with me. 722 00:40:47,144 --> 00:40:49,345 That's what I think was really the goal. 723 00:40:52,416 --> 00:40:56,319 But if not that, I think he wanted to be sort of like this 724 00:40:56,420 --> 00:40:58,455 Prince Charming in my life, 725 00:40:58,556 --> 00:41:03,059 this savior, hero, God, who I just looked up to 726 00:41:03,160 --> 00:41:05,028 and thought was so amazing 727 00:41:05,129 --> 00:41:08,598 and who was just this great daddy, 728 00:41:08,699 --> 00:41:12,469 and even saying those words makes me wanna vomit. 729 00:41:12,570 --> 00:41:15,472 It's appalling. It's... it's disgusting. 730 00:41:15,573 --> 00:41:17,273 It's infuriating. 731 00:41:19,610 --> 00:41:24,113 And I just really rejoiced to know that he would be put away. 732 00:41:24,215 --> 00:41:26,216 Justice was being served, 733 00:41:26,317 --> 00:41:29,252 and I did not have to think about him for 20 years. 734 00:41:29,353 --> 00:41:33,723 ♪♪ 735 00:41:38,429 --> 00:41:42,532 ♪♪ 736 00:41:42,633 --> 00:41:44,567 I don't wish him ill, 737 00:41:44,668 --> 00:41:47,036 but I don't want to see him free in society. 738 00:41:47,137 --> 00:41:50,073 I think he's in the place he needs to be, 739 00:41:50,207 --> 00:41:53,209 and I wish that he could stay there for the rest of his life. 740 00:41:54,945 --> 00:41:57,914 I try not to worry about what may happen when Gary is 741 00:41:58,015 --> 00:41:58,982 released from prison, 742 00:41:59,083 --> 00:42:02,118 but I can't say that I don't have any concerns. 743 00:42:02,219 --> 00:42:06,789 I hope that he has no vendetta against me, my family. 744 00:42:06,891 --> 00:42:10,393 But at the same time, when I find out he's getting released, 745 00:42:10,494 --> 00:42:13,496 I'm going to be protecting myself in every way possible. 746 00:42:15,766 --> 00:42:17,600 Not to say he couldn't 747 00:42:17,701 --> 00:42:20,570 turn his life around, become the actual 748 00:42:20,671 --> 00:42:22,672 upstanding citizen he pretended to be, 749 00:42:22,773 --> 00:42:27,810 but I wouldn't trust it if I saw it.