1 00:00:18,451 --> 00:00:22,421 The scar that I have here on my forehead... 2 00:00:22,522 --> 00:00:24,990 it doesn't bother me to have to see it. 3 00:00:25,091 --> 00:00:30,129 It reminds me that I survived. 4 00:00:30,230 --> 00:00:32,464 I had thought once about getting it removed, 5 00:00:32,565 --> 00:00:36,335 but I decided against it, because I want to continue to 6 00:00:36,436 --> 00:00:39,304 remind myself to never go back. 7 00:00:41,508 --> 00:00:44,943 It also reminds me of my purpose now. 8 00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:47,913 That was a bad period in my life, 9 00:00:48,014 --> 00:00:51,116 but I overcame, and I survived that time. 10 00:00:51,217 --> 00:00:58,090 ♪♪ 11 00:00:58,191 --> 00:01:02,227 When I heard what the truth really was, 12 00:01:02,328 --> 00:01:03,562 it was sickening. 13 00:01:03,663 --> 00:01:07,332 He was a serial predator. 14 00:01:07,434 --> 00:01:09,468 This very easily could have been me, 15 00:01:09,602 --> 00:01:12,671 and I think that's what's so hard for me is because 16 00:01:12,772 --> 00:01:15,140 I've seen the end of a gun with... in his hand. 17 00:01:15,241 --> 00:01:18,343 When I found out he was dead, 18 00:01:19,913 --> 00:01:22,714 it was, for me, a sign of freedom 19 00:01:22,816 --> 00:01:24,917 after all those years, 20 00:01:25,018 --> 00:01:29,121 and I'm glad that he can't hurt anyone else any longer. 21 00:01:31,157 --> 00:01:33,225 [The Paper Chase's "What's So Amazing About Grace?" plays] 22 00:01:33,326 --> 00:01:36,261 [strings continue playing sinister tune] 23 00:01:36,362 --> 00:01:41,333 [static crackling] 24 00:01:41,434 --> 00:01:43,102 [knock at door] [creaking] 25 00:01:43,203 --> 00:01:48,273 [banging on door] 26 00:01:48,374 --> 00:01:53,545 [creaking] 27 00:01:53,646 --> 00:01:56,181 [water dripping] 28 00:01:56,282 --> 00:01:58,851 [banging on door] [creaking] 29 00:01:58,952 --> 00:02:00,385 [sinister chord strikes] 30 00:02:07,894 --> 00:02:10,395 Stafford and I met by mistake. 31 00:02:10,497 --> 00:02:13,031 A friend of mine was friends with his best friend. 32 00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:16,869 They wanted to go out, and so they brought us along 33 00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:18,770 as a wingman, I guess. 34 00:02:18,872 --> 00:02:21,006 So, what's your story? 35 00:02:21,107 --> 00:02:23,008 So we end up, you know, just chatting, 36 00:02:23,109 --> 00:02:25,110 having general conversation, and realized, like, 37 00:02:25,211 --> 00:02:26,478 we had a lot in common. 38 00:02:26,579 --> 00:02:28,480 I liked his sense of humor. 39 00:02:28,581 --> 00:02:30,482 He made me laugh. 40 00:02:30,583 --> 00:02:32,885 We both loved music... At the time, 41 00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:35,420 I was 20, he was 27. 42 00:02:35,522 --> 00:02:36,889 He told me he was going through 43 00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:38,690 a divorce, and they had two children. 44 00:02:38,791 --> 00:02:41,326 He was a mechanic, so he... you know, he was self-employed. 45 00:02:41,427 --> 00:02:43,729 He worked on cars, and he had his own garage. 46 00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:46,498 You know, maybe we can do this again. 47 00:02:46,566 --> 00:02:48,567 You know, without the two of them. 48 00:02:48,668 --> 00:02:50,969 SONJA: He asked me if I wanted to go out, and I was like, sure. 49 00:02:51,070 --> 00:02:54,173 And then from there, we just kind of started 50 00:02:54,274 --> 00:02:57,910 seeing each other, you know, more on a regular basis. 51 00:02:58,011 --> 00:03:02,414 And at some point, I fell in love. 52 00:03:02,515 --> 00:03:03,849 Perfect. 53 00:03:05,118 --> 00:03:06,218 [glasses clink] 54 00:03:08,821 --> 00:03:12,191 SONJA: I was young. I was naive. 55 00:03:12,292 --> 00:03:13,926 I was trusting 56 00:03:14,027 --> 00:03:16,628 and never in a million years thinking 57 00:03:16,729 --> 00:03:19,631 that someone would actually want to hurt me. 58 00:03:19,732 --> 00:03:21,099 You know, someone that says that 59 00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:23,902 they love me would want to hurt me. 60 00:03:24,003 --> 00:03:32,003 ♪♪ 61 00:03:33,012 --> 00:03:41,012 ♪♪ 62 00:03:42,989 --> 00:03:45,991 When we met, he was living with, um, 63 00:03:46,092 --> 00:03:47,626 one of his family members. 64 00:03:47,727 --> 00:03:49,127 I went to the house one night. 65 00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:51,697 He was downstairs in the basement washing clothes, 66 00:03:51,798 --> 00:03:54,866 and I was upstairs in his room, 67 00:03:54,968 --> 00:03:58,570 and I was laying across the bed watching TV, 68 00:03:58,671 --> 00:04:02,107 and his mother comes to the door, and she says, 69 00:04:02,208 --> 00:04:04,843 "You need to leave him alone so he can be with his family." 70 00:04:07,113 --> 00:04:09,715 And it... I was totally taken aback. 71 00:04:09,849 --> 00:04:12,551 Um... 72 00:04:12,652 --> 00:04:13,785 Okay? 73 00:04:13,853 --> 00:04:15,821 SONJA: Why would you say that to me? 74 00:04:15,922 --> 00:04:18,023 It just came out of left field. 75 00:04:18,124 --> 00:04:21,593 The only thing I could think was because the divorce still 76 00:04:21,694 --> 00:04:23,228 hadn't gone through, so I was okay. 77 00:04:23,329 --> 00:04:27,165 Well, maybe she just wants him to be back with the wife. 78 00:04:30,203 --> 00:04:32,638 So by the time I get to the front door, 79 00:04:32,739 --> 00:04:34,806 he's coming back up the stairs. 80 00:04:34,907 --> 00:04:38,076 AS STAFFORD: Sonja! Sonja, wait. 81 00:04:38,177 --> 00:04:40,379 What's up? Why are you leaving? 82 00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:43,548 It's clear I'm not welcome here. 83 00:04:43,650 --> 00:04:44,583 What do you mean? 84 00:04:44,684 --> 00:04:46,918 Your mom doesn't want me here. I'm gonna leave. 85 00:04:49,689 --> 00:04:51,189 Just give me a minute. Don't go. 86 00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:53,292 SONJA: He tells me to wait. 87 00:04:53,393 --> 00:04:54,993 [music climbing] 88 00:04:55,094 --> 00:04:57,863 Mom, what the hell is wrong with you? 89 00:04:57,964 --> 00:05:00,666 And I could hear him yelling at her. 90 00:05:00,767 --> 00:05:03,435 You've got no damn right talking to my friend... 91 00:05:03,536 --> 00:05:07,105 He proceeded to continue to kind of curse her 92 00:05:07,206 --> 00:05:08,206 and tell her off. 93 00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:09,408 Get the hell out of here 94 00:05:09,509 --> 00:05:11,043 any mind your own damn business. 95 00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:21,520 He comes back, and I was like, okay, that's a little weird. 96 00:05:21,621 --> 00:05:25,424 Do you always talk to your mom like that? 97 00:05:25,525 --> 00:05:30,362 Yeah. So what? 98 00:05:30,463 --> 00:05:31,697 I wasn't raised like that, 99 00:05:31,798 --> 00:05:34,299 that you curse at your parents. 100 00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:38,904 I appreciated him standing up for me, but at the same time, 101 00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:42,474 I didn't like the fact that he, um, 102 00:05:42,575 --> 00:05:45,177 cursed and yelled at his mother the way that he did. 103 00:05:45,278 --> 00:05:47,412 That was disrespectful to me. 104 00:05:47,513 --> 00:05:51,450 ♪♪ 105 00:06:04,063 --> 00:06:08,066 About a year into the relationship, 106 00:06:08,167 --> 00:06:09,468 we moved in together. 107 00:06:09,569 --> 00:06:13,138 And that's when things started to get interesting. 108 00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:19,010 Listen, now that we're serious, you know, 109 00:06:19,112 --> 00:06:21,913 there's something I should probably tell you about. 110 00:06:22,014 --> 00:06:23,215 About what? 111 00:06:23,316 --> 00:06:26,084 One time, um, Stafford and I were having this conversation. 112 00:06:26,185 --> 00:06:27,285 We're just sitting, talking. 113 00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:31,556 And he told me about this incident 114 00:06:31,657 --> 00:06:33,258 that happened years ago. 115 00:06:34,527 --> 00:06:38,029 When I was younger, I had an incident with the police. 116 00:06:40,032 --> 00:06:42,901 There was a body that was found, 117 00:06:43,002 --> 00:06:45,370 a man's body, in the back of a car. 118 00:06:45,471 --> 00:06:49,941 Um, and the person had been burnt, and the police 119 00:06:50,042 --> 00:06:52,344 came to him, because he knew the person. 120 00:06:52,445 --> 00:06:55,781 What? What happened? 121 00:06:55,882 --> 00:06:58,116 They questioned him. They had arrested him, 122 00:06:58,217 --> 00:07:01,420 but found that there was no evidence against him. 123 00:07:01,521 --> 00:07:04,222 And the case just kind of went away. 124 00:07:04,323 --> 00:07:05,757 I just wanted you to know the truth 125 00:07:05,858 --> 00:07:08,360 in case, you know, you hear from someone else. 126 00:07:11,063 --> 00:07:15,333 I need to let you know just FYI, if it ever comes up, 127 00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:17,035 I'm telling you, I didn't do it. 128 00:07:18,137 --> 00:07:20,572 For me, it was like, "Wow, that was... 129 00:07:20,673 --> 00:07:22,474 Dang, that's messed up." 130 00:07:22,575 --> 00:07:26,445 Like this was a traumatic experience in his life, 131 00:07:26,512 --> 00:07:28,814 that it was something that he was blamed for 132 00:07:28,915 --> 00:07:31,249 that he didn't do. 133 00:07:32,819 --> 00:07:34,753 I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought it up. 134 00:07:38,724 --> 00:07:41,860 Looking back now, when I think about it, 135 00:07:41,961 --> 00:07:46,097 it makes me almost sick to my stomach. 136 00:07:46,199 --> 00:07:51,136 Years later, I learned that the story was a total lie. 137 00:07:52,738 --> 00:07:56,274 It was a, um, young lady that was 138 00:07:56,375 --> 00:07:59,578 found burned in the back of a car. 139 00:07:59,679 --> 00:08:03,148 And not only was a girl, it was a 17-year-old girl, 140 00:08:03,249 --> 00:08:04,783 and it was his girlfriend at the time. 141 00:08:07,553 --> 00:08:09,955 They thought that he did it, because he was 142 00:08:10,056 --> 00:08:11,623 the last person she was with. 143 00:08:11,724 --> 00:08:14,593 She had told him she was pregnant, 144 00:08:14,694 --> 00:08:17,362 and no one ever saw her after that. 145 00:08:17,463 --> 00:08:21,266 So it was totally not 146 00:08:21,367 --> 00:08:23,568 what he told me that it was. 147 00:08:23,669 --> 00:08:27,072 I never would have thought in a million years 148 00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:31,009 that he would be capable of any of this. 149 00:08:31,110 --> 00:08:33,845 If I would have ever thought that, 150 00:08:36,115 --> 00:08:38,583 I would have never stayed. 151 00:08:54,033 --> 00:08:55,734 We had a New Year's Eve party at 152 00:08:55,835 --> 00:08:59,104 our house and had some friends and family over. 153 00:08:59,205 --> 00:09:00,438 At the end of the evening, 154 00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:02,941 we had to take one of my cousins home. 155 00:09:03,042 --> 00:09:06,978 And so on the way, Stafford was going a different 156 00:09:07,079 --> 00:09:09,881 route than what I normally went to the... to the house. 157 00:09:11,450 --> 00:09:13,251 What are you doing? 158 00:09:13,352 --> 00:09:16,388 And so I asked him, you know, "How come you're going this way? 159 00:09:16,489 --> 00:09:18,156 How come you don't go that way?" 160 00:09:18,257 --> 00:09:19,824 And he just kind of snapped at me. 161 00:09:19,926 --> 00:09:22,360 Don't tell me how to drive! 162 00:09:23,663 --> 00:09:25,697 And told me, "Well, I'm going the way I want to go, 163 00:09:25,798 --> 00:09:27,265 you know, don't question me." 164 00:09:27,366 --> 00:09:28,633 You got a problem with that? 165 00:09:29,735 --> 00:09:31,937 I didn't understand... 166 00:09:32,038 --> 00:09:34,372 Why are you getting so upset 167 00:09:34,473 --> 00:09:36,975 over a simple question? 168 00:09:37,076 --> 00:09:39,744 I just said, "Okay," 169 00:09:39,845 --> 00:09:43,315 and I sat there quiet for the rest of the trip. 170 00:09:46,118 --> 00:09:49,721 And so we get back home, and he starts back up with me. 171 00:09:49,822 --> 00:09:51,756 I don't need you telling me what to do. 172 00:09:51,857 --> 00:09:53,391 You got that? 173 00:09:53,459 --> 00:09:54,459 About, "Don't question me." 174 00:09:54,560 --> 00:09:59,164 And it turns into this big blown out argument. 175 00:09:59,265 --> 00:10:01,666 I said I'm sorry! 176 00:10:01,767 --> 00:10:02,901 Then why do you keep doing it? 177 00:10:03,002 --> 00:10:04,002 Leave me alone! 178 00:10:04,103 --> 00:10:06,671 Before I knew it, he pushed me down on the bed. 179 00:10:06,772 --> 00:10:08,707 He was on top of me. 180 00:10:08,808 --> 00:10:11,610 His face went... 181 00:10:14,981 --> 00:10:16,615 I don't know if blank is the word. 182 00:10:19,085 --> 00:10:21,186 I didn't recognize him. 183 00:10:21,287 --> 00:10:23,688 It was like Dr, Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. 184 00:10:23,789 --> 00:10:25,991 I was scared. 185 00:10:26,092 --> 00:10:28,226 Before I knew it, he head-butted me, 186 00:10:30,496 --> 00:10:32,030 Split my forehead open. 187 00:10:32,131 --> 00:10:33,865 I was crying, and I'm just, you know, 188 00:10:33,966 --> 00:10:37,302 kind of hysterical, because I just I couldn't believe what 189 00:10:37,403 --> 00:10:41,206 has just happened, and I go in the bathroom. 190 00:10:41,307 --> 00:10:44,976 I cleaned myself up and come back into the room, 191 00:10:47,513 --> 00:10:49,748 and he looks at me, 192 00:10:49,849 --> 00:10:54,452 and he was... immediately started apologizing. 193 00:10:54,553 --> 00:10:56,521 I can't believe that happened. 194 00:10:56,622 --> 00:10:58,857 It was a complete accident. 195 00:10:58,958 --> 00:11:01,459 "Oh, my gosh, baby, I'm so sorry. 196 00:11:01,560 --> 00:11:04,329 "I'm so sorry. Um, I won't do that again. 197 00:11:04,430 --> 00:11:06,064 Forgive me. Forgive me." 198 00:11:06,165 --> 00:11:10,101 I was so shocked. 199 00:11:10,202 --> 00:11:13,071 Like, how could you do this to me? 200 00:11:13,172 --> 00:11:15,507 And he just kept apologizing. 201 00:11:15,574 --> 00:11:16,541 "I'm sorry. I'm sorry." 202 00:11:16,642 --> 00:11:18,843 I won't ever do that to you again, I swear. 203 00:11:18,944 --> 00:11:20,612 I forgave him. 204 00:11:20,713 --> 00:11:23,748 We're just gonna pretend like this didn't happen, 205 00:11:23,849 --> 00:11:25,917 and we're just gonna move on, 206 00:11:26,018 --> 00:11:27,886 and this can't ever happen again. 207 00:11:27,987 --> 00:11:31,122 It's okay. It's okay. 208 00:11:36,062 --> 00:11:42,367 The scar that I have here on my forehead is from, uh, 209 00:11:42,468 --> 00:11:45,470 when Stafford head-butted me. 210 00:11:45,571 --> 00:11:50,709 I have a everlasting reminder 211 00:11:50,810 --> 00:11:54,279 of the first act of violence. 212 00:11:54,380 --> 00:12:00,785 ♪♪ 213 00:12:00,886 --> 00:12:03,922 I can see the... the rage, 214 00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:08,860 the, um, the anger. 215 00:12:08,961 --> 00:12:11,429 It's something I never want to see again. 216 00:12:24,677 --> 00:12:26,778 To all outside appearances, 217 00:12:26,879 --> 00:12:28,079 we were a great couple. 218 00:12:28,180 --> 00:12:30,181 We had a good relationship. 219 00:12:30,282 --> 00:12:34,652 We joked, and we had a great time. 220 00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:37,388 Inward, we were a mess. 221 00:12:39,692 --> 00:12:41,092 Everything was a farce. 222 00:12:41,193 --> 00:12:45,897 It was dysfunctional on the inside. 223 00:12:45,998 --> 00:12:48,566 Unhappy 224 00:12:48,667 --> 00:12:53,338 on the inside, but... 225 00:12:53,439 --> 00:12:56,374 you wouldn't have known it from the outside. 226 00:13:07,119 --> 00:13:11,990 His erratic work hours really bothered me. 227 00:13:12,091 --> 00:13:15,126 The hours got longer and longer. 228 00:13:15,227 --> 00:13:17,662 It might be 11 o'clock when he came home. 229 00:13:17,763 --> 00:13:20,098 It might be one o'clock in the morning when he came home. 230 00:13:20,199 --> 00:13:22,467 There would be nights when he wouldn't come home. 231 00:13:22,568 --> 00:13:24,702 I'm awake. 232 00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:25,970 SONJA: It bothered me. 233 00:13:26,071 --> 00:13:28,973 I would question, Why do you have to work so late? 234 00:13:29,074 --> 00:13:30,909 "I don't never know when you're coming home. 235 00:13:31,010 --> 00:13:34,879 "People close their garages and go home to their families. 236 00:13:34,980 --> 00:13:36,714 Why are you any different?" 237 00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:38,516 What are you doing all day and night? 238 00:13:38,617 --> 00:13:40,485 What do you mean, what am I doing? 239 00:13:40,586 --> 00:13:42,187 I'm working. 240 00:13:42,288 --> 00:13:44,989 He would say, "I got this car to do. 241 00:13:45,090 --> 00:13:47,458 "I got that car to do. I'm still working on this. 242 00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:49,027 "And then I got to go over there, 243 00:13:49,128 --> 00:13:51,896 and I gotta check out this person's car." 244 00:13:51,997 --> 00:13:54,799 He was a self-employed person. 245 00:13:54,900 --> 00:13:56,434 Um, he was a business owner. 246 00:13:56,535 --> 00:14:01,105 So there was always a... A reason. 247 00:14:01,207 --> 00:14:02,240 I'm trying to run a business. 248 00:14:05,411 --> 00:14:06,678 I'm sorry. 249 00:14:09,515 --> 00:14:11,716 I just want you home more. 250 00:14:11,817 --> 00:14:16,154 Stafford was my first real adult relationship that I had. 251 00:14:16,255 --> 00:14:17,789 I believed what he said. 252 00:14:19,992 --> 00:14:26,531 As time went on, it became normal that, "No, he's not here. 253 00:14:26,632 --> 00:14:29,968 He's still... He's still at the garage." 254 00:14:30,069 --> 00:14:34,572 That became my saying... "He's still at the garage." 255 00:14:45,851 --> 00:14:51,389 This is the journal that I used to keep. 256 00:14:51,490 --> 00:14:55,894 Thursday, February the 14th, 2002. 257 00:14:55,995 --> 00:14:58,696 "What a lovely Valentine's Day. 258 00:14:58,797 --> 00:15:01,132 "Yeah, right. 259 00:15:01,233 --> 00:15:04,068 "Stafford didn't come home last night. 260 00:15:04,169 --> 00:15:08,806 "Of course I was calling and calling, but no answer. 261 00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:11,709 "It's a terrible feeling to not know where someone is 262 00:15:11,810 --> 00:15:15,546 and to be very worried about them when they don't show up." 263 00:15:21,620 --> 00:15:23,755 This particular Valentine's, 264 00:15:25,090 --> 00:15:26,824 I was waiting for him. 265 00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:28,726 He was supposed to have been coming home, 266 00:15:28,827 --> 00:15:31,329 but he never made it. 267 00:15:31,430 --> 00:15:34,265 Next morning comes, now I'm just mad. 268 00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:39,737 You never came home. Never heard from you. 269 00:15:39,838 --> 00:15:41,372 Where were you? 270 00:15:41,473 --> 00:15:44,575 You want to tell me where you've been at all night long? 271 00:15:44,677 --> 00:15:46,044 He told me that his aunt was in 272 00:15:46,145 --> 00:15:48,980 the hospital and said that he was at the hospital. 273 00:15:49,081 --> 00:15:53,584 I was uncertain if he was really telling the truth. 274 00:15:53,686 --> 00:15:55,486 Why are you being like this? 275 00:15:55,587 --> 00:15:58,389 SONJA: But that was one of those times when he, um, 276 00:15:58,490 --> 00:16:00,892 flipped that conversation around on me, 277 00:16:00,993 --> 00:16:05,997 and, um, told me basically that I was selfish for wanting him 278 00:16:06,098 --> 00:16:07,198 to be there when he was there 279 00:16:07,299 --> 00:16:10,034 taking care of his family and checking on his family. 280 00:16:10,135 --> 00:16:12,236 I think if you weren't so wrapped up in yourself, 281 00:16:12,338 --> 00:16:13,838 you wouldn't get so upset over nothing. 282 00:16:16,208 --> 00:16:19,510 I became the bad person. 283 00:16:19,611 --> 00:16:24,048 I became what was wrong with us. 284 00:16:24,149 --> 00:16:25,249 And I had to find a way to 285 00:16:25,351 --> 00:16:28,720 change my behavior so that these things don't happen. 286 00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:30,455 I'm sorry. 287 00:16:30,556 --> 00:16:34,425 If I would take his feelings into more consideration, 288 00:16:34,526 --> 00:16:36,928 then we would be fine. 289 00:16:37,029 --> 00:16:40,531 He convinced me that I was wrong 290 00:16:40,632 --> 00:16:43,401 and that I couldn't see past what I wanted. 291 00:16:49,975 --> 00:16:54,178 Tuesday, February the 19th... 292 00:16:54,279 --> 00:16:55,880 "We finally made up. 293 00:16:55,981 --> 00:16:58,583 "I have finally come to the realization that 294 00:16:58,684 --> 00:17:01,919 "I let my emotions get the best of me. 295 00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:05,356 "I couldn't or wouldn't see past my feelings 296 00:17:05,457 --> 00:17:07,792 to see that he was there for his aunt." 297 00:17:07,893 --> 00:17:10,228 Looking at it now, 298 00:17:10,329 --> 00:17:13,164 I can see that he had convinced me 299 00:17:13,265 --> 00:17:18,636 that it was my fault, that I'm too sensitive, 300 00:17:18,737 --> 00:17:23,274 um, and that I let my emotions fog me. 301 00:17:23,375 --> 00:17:27,545 And so my thoughts became what he told me 302 00:17:27,646 --> 00:17:30,848 that they were, not what I thought that they were. 303 00:17:30,949 --> 00:17:33,851 Was the beginning of him 304 00:17:33,952 --> 00:17:37,755 starting to mentally control me. 305 00:17:49,401 --> 00:17:54,705 He started, like, blaming me for his behavior. 306 00:17:55,974 --> 00:17:57,675 I remember 307 00:17:57,776 --> 00:18:01,012 one night, it was about one or two in the morning, 308 00:18:01,113 --> 00:18:02,814 and we were sleeping. 309 00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:04,449 He gets up, 310 00:18:04,550 --> 00:18:08,052 doesn't say a word to me, slams the door. 311 00:18:09,755 --> 00:18:12,123 When he slammed the door, like, everything shook. 312 00:18:12,224 --> 00:18:13,357 It woke me up. 313 00:18:13,459 --> 00:18:15,059 And I was like, what in the world? 314 00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:17,361 So I immediately called him. 315 00:18:17,463 --> 00:18:19,397 I said, "What is wrong with you?" 316 00:18:19,498 --> 00:18:23,434 Stafford? What happened? Where'd you go? 317 00:18:23,535 --> 00:18:26,204 SONJA: He was like, "You know what you did." 318 00:18:26,305 --> 00:18:27,705 I didn't do anything. 319 00:18:27,806 --> 00:18:29,207 I was like, "What are you talking about? 320 00:18:29,308 --> 00:18:30,508 What did I do?" 321 00:18:30,609 --> 00:18:34,212 He said that I rolled over, 322 00:18:34,313 --> 00:18:37,115 I got on top of him, 323 00:18:37,216 --> 00:18:39,383 and said another man's name. 324 00:18:39,485 --> 00:18:42,086 Stafford. I swear, there's no one else. 325 00:18:42,187 --> 00:18:45,123 "Whose name were you saying in your sleep? 326 00:18:45,224 --> 00:18:48,025 You gotta be seeing somebody. Who is it? Who is it?" 327 00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:50,428 Please, just come home... I swear, 328 00:18:50,529 --> 00:18:52,263 whatever I said, I didn't mean it. 329 00:18:53,832 --> 00:18:57,001 It was just baffling to me. 330 00:18:57,102 --> 00:18:58,136 Just made no sense. 331 00:18:58,237 --> 00:18:59,971 I'm not seeing anybody else, 332 00:19:00,072 --> 00:19:04,909 but all I had to go off of is what he told me. 333 00:19:05,010 --> 00:19:06,611 I started questioning myself. 334 00:19:06,712 --> 00:19:09,213 Maybe there's something there, and I'm just not aware of it, 335 00:19:09,314 --> 00:19:12,150 and it's coming out in my sleep. 336 00:19:12,251 --> 00:19:15,052 I was like, I think... I think something's wrong with me. 337 00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:17,955 I need help, something is wrong with me. 338 00:19:18,056 --> 00:19:19,524 Stafford? 339 00:19:22,027 --> 00:19:25,963 Now I understand that what he was doing at that time 340 00:19:26,064 --> 00:19:26,998 is gaslighting. 341 00:19:27,099 --> 00:19:29,967 He was manipulating my mind 342 00:19:30,068 --> 00:19:34,438 to have me doubting my own sanity, 343 00:19:36,608 --> 00:19:41,112 and it kept happening over and over and over again. 344 00:19:41,213 --> 00:19:43,915 There's questions that I have still to this day 345 00:19:44,016 --> 00:19:46,184 that I will never know the answer to. 346 00:19:46,285 --> 00:19:49,620 There are parts of my life that I don't know what was real 347 00:19:49,721 --> 00:19:52,123 and what wasn't, and, you know, 348 00:19:52,224 --> 00:19:55,626 I just have to live with the fact that I'll never know. 349 00:20:00,465 --> 00:20:04,535 October 28th of '02. 350 00:20:04,636 --> 00:20:07,371 "I'm doing things in my sleep I can't explain. 351 00:20:07,472 --> 00:20:10,208 "Unfortunately, I can't remember any of it. 352 00:20:11,376 --> 00:20:14,412 I have got to fix this, and soon." 353 00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:17,615 November the 22nd. 354 00:20:17,716 --> 00:20:19,784 "This is happening again. 355 00:20:19,885 --> 00:20:23,554 "Me talking in my sleep and doing 356 00:20:23,655 --> 00:20:26,724 "things and having no recollection of it." 357 00:20:28,393 --> 00:20:31,529 "Stafford left at 4 a.m. this morning, 358 00:20:31,630 --> 00:20:35,399 "stormed out... God, what is wrong with me? 359 00:20:35,500 --> 00:20:38,269 I just don't understand, and it frightens me." 360 00:20:40,539 --> 00:20:42,573 Even though it was me that wrote it, 361 00:20:42,674 --> 00:20:45,576 because I'm not this person any longer, 362 00:20:46,945 --> 00:20:49,146 I look at it now, and... 363 00:20:49,248 --> 00:20:51,082 I feel sorry for her. 364 00:20:52,651 --> 00:20:55,586 All I can do is shake my head, because... 365 00:20:56,755 --> 00:21:00,691 I can just see the pattern, the... 366 00:21:00,792 --> 00:21:03,561 the manipulative pattern... 367 00:21:04,830 --> 00:21:08,032 to make sure that 368 00:21:08,133 --> 00:21:13,104 I stayed where he needed me to be, in his control. 369 00:21:20,512 --> 00:21:22,046 SONJA: When we first started dating, 370 00:21:22,147 --> 00:21:25,283 the story was that he was separated, and that 371 00:21:25,384 --> 00:21:28,519 he and the wife were going through a divorce. 372 00:21:28,620 --> 00:21:33,024 - [phone ringing] - Stafford called me one day. 373 00:21:33,125 --> 00:21:35,126 He hurt his hand while he was working, 374 00:21:35,227 --> 00:21:37,561 and he had to go to the emergency room. 375 00:21:37,663 --> 00:21:38,696 I said, "Well, where are you? 376 00:21:38,797 --> 00:21:41,165 I'm gonna come up there." "No, don't come up here." 377 00:21:41,266 --> 00:21:43,534 I went anyway. 378 00:21:43,635 --> 00:21:47,772 So I get there, and he was with his wife. 379 00:21:51,643 --> 00:21:54,245 They are sitting in the waiting area waiting to 380 00:21:54,346 --> 00:21:57,248 be discharged. 381 00:21:57,349 --> 00:22:01,319 And so I sat down directly across from them. 382 00:22:06,325 --> 00:22:08,225 He didn't say anything to me. 383 00:22:08,327 --> 00:22:11,228 He just looked at me like he had never seen me before. 384 00:22:11,330 --> 00:22:15,399 And I'm looking at him like... I said, "Hello." 385 00:22:19,271 --> 00:22:21,072 He didn't say anything. 386 00:22:21,173 --> 00:22:26,711 And she's just looking at me... The look on his face 387 00:22:26,812 --> 00:22:28,646 was like he was afraid to say anything. 388 00:22:28,747 --> 00:22:30,247 It was strange. 389 00:22:30,349 --> 00:22:32,717 I wanted to see what he was going to say. 390 00:22:32,818 --> 00:22:35,720 And so I sat there, and I'm just looking at the both of them, 391 00:22:35,821 --> 00:22:38,989 very nice, very calm. Never said another word. 392 00:22:40,692 --> 00:22:44,195 One of my thoughts was, "I think they're still together." 393 00:22:44,296 --> 00:22:46,197 That just kept playing over and over my head. 394 00:22:46,298 --> 00:22:48,132 You said you can't stand her. 395 00:22:48,233 --> 00:22:49,467 Okay, what is really going on? 396 00:22:51,136 --> 00:22:53,137 WOMAN: Stafford Shaw, we're ready for you. 397 00:22:53,238 --> 00:22:54,572 SONJA: And they called his name 398 00:22:54,673 --> 00:22:56,374 to give him his discharge papers. 399 00:22:56,475 --> 00:22:59,744 He goes up, and they proceed to leave out. 400 00:22:59,845 --> 00:23:01,545 So I walked out after. 401 00:23:04,015 --> 00:23:06,384 And I called his name, and I said, "Stafford!" 402 00:23:06,485 --> 00:23:07,451 And he turned around. 403 00:23:07,552 --> 00:23:08,586 I said, "Are you really gonna act 404 00:23:08,687 --> 00:23:10,054 like you don't know who I am?" 405 00:23:11,523 --> 00:23:13,424 And he was like, "Sonja, go home." 406 00:23:13,525 --> 00:23:15,693 I said, "What is going on?" 407 00:23:15,794 --> 00:23:17,728 He was like, "Sonja, go home." 408 00:23:19,531 --> 00:23:20,965 And I was like, I don't believe this. 409 00:23:21,066 --> 00:23:23,200 So I get my car, I go home. 410 00:23:25,771 --> 00:23:28,639 I get to the house, I take everything that he owned, 411 00:23:28,740 --> 00:23:30,541 and I put it in a pile next to the door. 412 00:23:30,642 --> 00:23:33,277 So I'm like, I'm not... I'm not gonna deal with this. 413 00:23:34,579 --> 00:23:36,680 [door creaks open] 414 00:23:36,782 --> 00:23:39,083 He gets to the house. 415 00:23:39,184 --> 00:23:41,786 What's all this about? 416 00:23:41,887 --> 00:23:43,521 What do you think it is? 417 00:23:43,622 --> 00:23:46,056 My question was, "Well, are you all still together?" 418 00:23:46,158 --> 00:23:48,959 "We're not still together, you know I can't stand her." 419 00:23:49,060 --> 00:23:51,495 I thought you said you were getting a divorce. 420 00:23:51,596 --> 00:23:55,766 And he said because the divorce hadn't gone through, 421 00:23:55,867 --> 00:23:58,335 he was still under the wife's insurance. 422 00:23:58,437 --> 00:24:01,906 So he had to call her to bring the insurance cards. 423 00:24:02,007 --> 00:24:04,542 So why is it such a big secret then? 424 00:24:05,710 --> 00:24:08,279 I remember telling him, "Why were you hiding 425 00:24:08,380 --> 00:24:09,847 "her being there? 426 00:24:09,948 --> 00:24:13,818 All you had to do was tell me that she was there." 427 00:24:13,919 --> 00:24:15,953 I'm sorry. 428 00:24:16,054 --> 00:24:17,922 I should have handled it better. 429 00:24:18,023 --> 00:24:24,495 I was in total denial about everything. 430 00:24:35,173 --> 00:24:38,776 One morning, it was early, it was probably about seven... 431 00:24:38,877 --> 00:24:40,478 Seven o'clock, eight o'clock in the morning, 432 00:24:40,579 --> 00:24:44,114 and the doorbell rings, and he went to the door. 433 00:24:45,584 --> 00:24:48,185 And I could hear him saying, "What are you doing here?" 434 00:24:48,286 --> 00:24:50,888 When I looked out the front window, it was his wife. 435 00:24:54,993 --> 00:24:59,196 And she said, "Oh, this is your nighttime job?" 436 00:24:59,297 --> 00:25:03,067 And I stood there, and I was like, "Nighttime job? 437 00:25:03,168 --> 00:25:06,103 What is she talking about? What nighttime job?" 438 00:25:06,204 --> 00:25:08,239 He made her leave. 439 00:25:11,610 --> 00:25:14,311 When he came back in the room, 440 00:25:14,412 --> 00:25:16,514 the first thing I asked him was, "What is she doing here?" 441 00:25:16,615 --> 00:25:18,716 So she's coming to our house now? 442 00:25:18,817 --> 00:25:20,851 SONJA: He didn't seem the least bit surprised that 443 00:25:20,952 --> 00:25:24,154 she was there, and he brushed it off. 444 00:25:24,256 --> 00:25:25,923 He was like, "I'll talk to her. 445 00:25:26,024 --> 00:25:29,627 I'll make sure... I'll make sure she doesn't come back." 446 00:25:29,728 --> 00:25:34,398 It was like, okay, you know, wheels are now starting to turn. 447 00:25:34,499 --> 00:25:37,768 There is a reason that this woman came looking for you. 448 00:25:37,869 --> 00:25:39,370 I thought you two hated each other. 449 00:25:39,471 --> 00:25:40,437 We do! 450 00:25:40,539 --> 00:25:44,475 And if you two don't get along, 451 00:25:44,576 --> 00:25:46,677 why does she care about where you are? 452 00:25:46,778 --> 00:25:50,080 I don't know what she's after. She's crazy. 453 00:25:50,181 --> 00:25:52,650 We were arguing, 454 00:25:52,751 --> 00:25:57,288 and he spit out that he was divorced. 455 00:25:57,389 --> 00:26:00,658 Wait, what? 456 00:26:00,759 --> 00:26:02,660 And I said, "You're divorced? 457 00:26:02,761 --> 00:26:05,462 When did this happen? How come you didn't tell me?" 458 00:26:05,564 --> 00:26:08,232 He was like, "What? I'm finally divorced now. 459 00:26:08,333 --> 00:26:11,802 We can finally be together." 460 00:26:11,903 --> 00:26:13,437 He told me what I wanted to hear. 461 00:26:13,538 --> 00:26:15,839 She never did show up, you know, at the house again. 462 00:26:15,941 --> 00:26:20,077 But what she said always kind of stayed in the back of 463 00:26:20,178 --> 00:26:21,745 my mind... what did that mean? 464 00:26:33,525 --> 00:26:37,227 We had an engagement party, and it was just full speed 465 00:26:37,329 --> 00:26:40,197 ahead with the wedding plans, because now we can be together. 466 00:26:40,298 --> 00:26:43,267 And then one day, we had another argument. 467 00:26:43,368 --> 00:26:45,369 He tells me, "I'm not divorced." 468 00:26:45,470 --> 00:26:48,305 You told me the divorce was final. 469 00:26:48,373 --> 00:26:50,574 SONJA: He sat there on the edge of the bed, 470 00:26:50,675 --> 00:26:55,579 and he started just crying and babbling about us 471 00:26:55,680 --> 00:26:57,047 and his family, 472 00:26:57,148 --> 00:26:59,550 and he started saying that he wanted to die. 473 00:26:59,651 --> 00:27:00,651 "I just want to die." 474 00:27:00,752 --> 00:27:04,555 I'm sorry. I just can't do this anymore. 475 00:27:04,623 --> 00:27:07,591 He had a gun in the house. It came out. 476 00:27:09,260 --> 00:27:12,796 And he had loaded one bullet in the gun. 477 00:27:12,931 --> 00:27:15,132 He took the gun, he put it up to his head. 478 00:27:15,233 --> 00:27:16,233 Put it to his temple. 479 00:27:19,471 --> 00:27:22,606 And I was like, "Stafford, stop, Stop it." 480 00:27:22,707 --> 00:27:24,141 You don't want to do this. 481 00:27:25,610 --> 00:27:27,077 Begging him and telling him, you know, 482 00:27:27,178 --> 00:27:28,946 put the gun down, put the gun down. 483 00:27:29,047 --> 00:27:32,049 And he click... Pulled the trigger. 484 00:27:32,150 --> 00:27:33,150 [click] 485 00:27:34,919 --> 00:27:36,654 After it clicked, 486 00:27:36,755 --> 00:27:38,555 I just kept saying, "Stop, please stop. 487 00:27:38,657 --> 00:27:39,556 "Just put it down. 488 00:27:39,658 --> 00:27:41,625 You want to live. You don't want to die." 489 00:27:41,726 --> 00:27:43,160 It's gonna be okay. 490 00:27:43,261 --> 00:27:45,229 And he was like, "Yes, I do." 491 00:27:45,330 --> 00:27:47,831 Yes, I do." Cocked the gun back again. 492 00:27:47,932 --> 00:27:52,169 [suspenseful music] 493 00:27:52,270 --> 00:27:53,870 And put it up one more time. 494 00:27:53,938 --> 00:27:55,205 Pulled the trigger, and it clicked. 495 00:27:55,306 --> 00:27:56,607 [clicking noise] 496 00:27:56,708 --> 00:27:59,043 [screams] Stafford! 497 00:27:59,144 --> 00:28:02,513 I was petrified, and I told him again, Stop it, Stafford! 498 00:28:02,614 --> 00:28:03,747 "Stop it!" 499 00:28:03,848 --> 00:28:05,249 Put the gun up again. 500 00:28:06,351 --> 00:28:08,419 And this time, 501 00:28:08,520 --> 00:28:11,555 when he pulled the trigger, 502 00:28:11,656 --> 00:28:13,557 he pointed it at me. 503 00:28:20,432 --> 00:28:23,400 SONJA: I couldn't believe that we were at this point. 504 00:28:23,501 --> 00:28:25,602 This is not happening right now. 505 00:28:25,670 --> 00:28:27,137 This cannot be happening. 506 00:28:30,642 --> 00:28:32,509 And I ran down the hall, 507 00:28:32,610 --> 00:28:35,212 and the gun went off. 508 00:28:35,313 --> 00:28:36,447 I was like, oh, my God. 509 00:28:37,716 --> 00:28:40,317 I came back down the hall 510 00:28:40,418 --> 00:28:42,753 and I peeked in the room, and he was 511 00:28:42,854 --> 00:28:44,354 still sitting there on the side of the bed, 512 00:28:45,924 --> 00:28:49,493 and I looked up in the ceiling right above my head, 513 00:28:49,594 --> 00:28:52,329 and the bullet was lodged in the ceiling, and I said, 514 00:28:52,430 --> 00:28:53,564 "You tried to shoot me!" 515 00:28:53,665 --> 00:28:55,232 You almost killed me. 516 00:28:55,333 --> 00:28:57,101 What the hell is wrong with you? 517 00:29:00,071 --> 00:29:02,473 SONJA: And he just sat there, crying. 518 00:29:02,574 --> 00:29:06,176 [sobbing noises] 519 00:29:06,277 --> 00:29:11,048 I ran over to him, and I hugged him, and I comforted him. 520 00:29:11,149 --> 00:29:13,083 It's okay. 521 00:29:13,184 --> 00:29:17,154 SONJA: The crying spells were an act. 522 00:29:17,255 --> 00:29:21,225 It was part of his manipulation. 523 00:29:21,326 --> 00:29:23,660 Part of keeping me there. 524 00:29:23,762 --> 00:29:29,767 I went from the victim to now rescuing him, 525 00:29:29,868 --> 00:29:33,103 and we sat there. We talked. 526 00:29:33,204 --> 00:29:35,405 Trying to figure out what was going on with him. 527 00:29:35,507 --> 00:29:37,274 Why are you doing all of this? 528 00:29:37,375 --> 00:29:41,378 He was very good at the manipulation factor. 529 00:29:41,479 --> 00:29:43,614 And so he knew the things that he needed 530 00:29:43,715 --> 00:29:46,717 to do to kind of reel me back in. 531 00:29:56,728 --> 00:29:58,729 I had never been to his garage. 532 00:29:58,830 --> 00:30:01,665 He would describe to me how it looked, 533 00:30:01,766 --> 00:30:05,369 and I just had a mental picture in my mind 534 00:30:05,470 --> 00:30:08,272 of the way it looked. 535 00:30:08,373 --> 00:30:10,174 But I had never been there. 536 00:30:10,275 --> 00:30:12,576 One particular time, 537 00:30:12,677 --> 00:30:16,280 the wife had taken the boys, his children, somewhere. 538 00:30:16,381 --> 00:30:19,216 He heard that she had moved out of town, 539 00:30:19,317 --> 00:30:21,485 and he didn't know where they were. 540 00:30:21,586 --> 00:30:23,487 And I was like, "Well, you know what? 541 00:30:23,588 --> 00:30:25,422 I'm gonna see if I can find them." 542 00:30:25,523 --> 00:30:26,957 And so I started getting on 543 00:30:27,058 --> 00:30:29,426 the internet and, like, doing searches and stuff. 544 00:30:29,527 --> 00:30:32,329 His thing was that he didn't know where the kids were. 545 00:30:32,430 --> 00:30:36,733 So my whole reasoning behind it was to find out 546 00:30:36,835 --> 00:30:37,768 where the kids were, 547 00:30:37,869 --> 00:30:40,971 you know, because that would make him happy. 548 00:30:41,072 --> 00:30:45,909 And, um, I pulled her name up, and when I pulled her name up, 549 00:30:46,010 --> 00:30:47,144 I found an address. 550 00:30:48,847 --> 00:30:49,880 So I drove there. 551 00:30:51,749 --> 00:30:55,052 When I drove by the house, I saw a garage, 552 00:30:57,155 --> 00:31:00,357 and I'm looking at the garage and remembering 553 00:31:00,458 --> 00:31:04,127 how he told me that the garage looked, 554 00:31:04,229 --> 00:31:06,797 the mental picture that I had, 555 00:31:06,898 --> 00:31:08,899 it's right here in front of me. 556 00:31:09,000 --> 00:31:10,200 This is the garage. 557 00:31:11,569 --> 00:31:13,136 That was when 558 00:31:13,238 --> 00:31:16,240 the big lightbulb came on. 559 00:31:16,341 --> 00:31:18,175 They were together. 560 00:31:18,276 --> 00:31:20,644 He was probably going back and forth between 561 00:31:20,745 --> 00:31:24,014 both places and still... being there with her. 562 00:31:25,483 --> 00:31:27,584 I felt deceived. 563 00:31:27,685 --> 00:31:29,486 I had been deceived. 564 00:31:29,587 --> 00:31:33,457 So I parked at the end of the street, and I sat 565 00:31:33,558 --> 00:31:34,725 and just waited to see if I saw anybody 566 00:31:34,826 --> 00:31:37,427 go in or out of the house for a little while. 567 00:31:37,528 --> 00:31:40,163 I didn't see anything, but I knew enough 568 00:31:40,265 --> 00:31:43,033 to know that he was living a double life. 569 00:31:43,134 --> 00:31:46,737 Two families, two lives, two households. 570 00:31:46,838 --> 00:31:48,071 I was the other woman. 571 00:31:55,546 --> 00:31:57,147 So that evening, 572 00:31:57,248 --> 00:32:00,817 I had taken everything, everything that he owned, 573 00:32:00,919 --> 00:32:02,419 and put it by the front door. 574 00:32:02,520 --> 00:32:05,756 When he came home, he says, "What is all this?" 575 00:32:05,857 --> 00:32:07,324 What's going on? 576 00:32:07,425 --> 00:32:08,659 I know where you've been going. 577 00:32:08,760 --> 00:32:10,494 And I told him, I said, I found the garage, 578 00:32:10,595 --> 00:32:12,696 and eyes got a little big. 579 00:32:12,797 --> 00:32:15,966 He was surprised, but that didn't last long, 580 00:32:16,067 --> 00:32:18,368 because then it got defensive. 581 00:32:18,469 --> 00:32:20,604 He flipped it around to me 582 00:32:20,705 --> 00:32:23,173 and said that he didn't tell me because the house was in 583 00:32:23,274 --> 00:32:25,042 her name, but she didn't live there. 584 00:32:25,143 --> 00:32:27,978 She owns the place. So what? 585 00:32:28,079 --> 00:32:30,914 And he said, "I just rent the garage in the back." 586 00:32:31,015 --> 00:32:32,482 I want to believe him, 587 00:32:32,583 --> 00:32:36,453 but my gut knew something's not right, and you're really not 588 00:32:36,554 --> 00:32:37,854 being truthful with me. 589 00:32:37,956 --> 00:32:40,791 And so I was on this quest now for the truth. 590 00:32:51,636 --> 00:32:54,738 One of the bills I paid was the cellphone bill, 591 00:32:54,839 --> 00:32:57,941 and when I went to pay the phone bill, 592 00:32:58,042 --> 00:33:00,444 seeing a couple of numbers repetitively. 593 00:33:00,545 --> 00:33:05,615 One of the numbers that was repetitive was the wife's 594 00:33:05,717 --> 00:33:08,385 phone number, and then there was another 595 00:33:08,486 --> 00:33:11,288 phone number that was pretty frequent. 596 00:33:11,389 --> 00:33:14,825 The calls are, like, one in the morning, really odd. 597 00:33:16,527 --> 00:33:17,928 So when he was sleeping, 598 00:33:18,029 --> 00:33:22,666 I picked up his phone and looked through his phone, 599 00:33:22,767 --> 00:33:26,970 and I found out the name for the number, 600 00:33:27,071 --> 00:33:28,472 and the name said Morgan. 601 00:33:29,974 --> 00:33:31,475 I decided that I was going to 602 00:33:31,576 --> 00:33:34,878 call her and find out who she was. 603 00:33:34,979 --> 00:33:37,714 I was a little jittery, because I wasn't sure what to say. 604 00:33:37,815 --> 00:33:39,483 Hi. 605 00:33:39,584 --> 00:33:42,586 I'm sorry for calling you so late. 606 00:33:42,687 --> 00:33:44,488 I never said who I was. 607 00:33:44,589 --> 00:33:46,023 I just said that I was a friend, 608 00:33:46,124 --> 00:33:47,958 asked her if she knew Stafford. 609 00:33:48,059 --> 00:33:51,261 She said yes. She said he was her mechanic. 610 00:33:51,362 --> 00:33:54,965 And I said, "Okay, thanks." Hung up the phone. 611 00:33:55,066 --> 00:33:56,566 I knew that there was more to it. 612 00:34:06,310 --> 00:34:11,415 She must have told him that I called... the next day, 613 00:34:11,516 --> 00:34:13,350 he was very upset with me. 614 00:34:14,519 --> 00:34:17,888 My stomach was in knots, because something 615 00:34:17,989 --> 00:34:20,524 in me felt that something was gonna happen. 616 00:34:21,726 --> 00:34:23,994 I didn't know what that something was gonna be, 617 00:34:24,095 --> 00:34:26,830 but it wasn't gonna be good. 618 00:34:29,767 --> 00:34:33,103 So, while in the kitchen, I went in the drawer, 619 00:34:33,204 --> 00:34:36,873 and I took out this knife, and I just laid it on the counter to 620 00:34:36,974 --> 00:34:38,775 protect myself. 621 00:34:38,876 --> 00:34:42,145 Sonja, why are you going around calling my customers? 622 00:34:42,246 --> 00:34:46,083 He gets on my face and just starts yelling at me, 623 00:34:46,184 --> 00:34:53,623 about me calling his customers and, um, it's not my business. 624 00:34:53,724 --> 00:34:56,359 You got no damn right calling people asking about me! 625 00:34:56,461 --> 00:34:59,496 And he sees the knife sitting on the counter. 626 00:35:01,032 --> 00:35:02,265 He was like, "Oh, so what you want... 627 00:35:02,366 --> 00:35:03,900 You gonna try to stab me?" 628 00:35:04,001 --> 00:35:07,504 And he started hitting me in my body. 629 00:35:07,605 --> 00:35:09,272 He hit me in my face. 630 00:35:09,373 --> 00:35:13,510 I am trying to protect, you know, my head and my face, 631 00:35:13,611 --> 00:35:18,381 and he just kept hitting me, and I end up falling 632 00:35:18,483 --> 00:35:19,749 onto the ground. 633 00:35:19,851 --> 00:35:24,154 So he's now over top of me on the floor, 634 00:35:24,255 --> 00:35:26,590 and I'm telling him to get off of me, 635 00:35:26,691 --> 00:35:28,925 trying to get him off of me. 636 00:35:29,026 --> 00:35:31,895 His eyes were filled with hate, 637 00:35:31,996 --> 00:35:34,531 and he said, "I should stab you." 638 00:35:40,004 --> 00:35:41,872 AS SONJA: Stop it! No. 639 00:35:41,973 --> 00:35:46,409 He takes the knife, and he jabs it right next to my ear. 640 00:35:49,480 --> 00:35:52,449 And I managed to push him off of me. 641 00:35:52,550 --> 00:35:55,085 Something snapped in me mentally, 642 00:35:56,854 --> 00:35:58,755 and I got mad. 643 00:35:58,856 --> 00:36:01,458 I wasn't scared anymore. 644 00:36:01,559 --> 00:36:02,726 I was mad. 645 00:36:02,827 --> 00:36:04,728 You want to kill me? 646 00:36:04,829 --> 00:36:08,532 He looked me square in my eyes. 647 00:36:08,633 --> 00:36:10,767 He said, "If I had a gun, I would shoot you dead 648 00:36:10,868 --> 00:36:11,768 right now," 649 00:36:11,869 --> 00:36:14,304 And I told him, I said, "I do not care." 650 00:36:14,405 --> 00:36:17,007 I gained this... 651 00:36:17,108 --> 00:36:20,510 strength that I hadn't had. 652 00:36:21,812 --> 00:36:23,180 And then he started his crying. 653 00:36:23,281 --> 00:36:26,249 He got down on his knees on the floor and begging. 654 00:36:26,350 --> 00:36:27,517 AS STAFFORD: Please don't go. 655 00:36:31,289 --> 00:36:33,190 And I just looked at him now. 656 00:36:33,291 --> 00:36:37,494 I didn't go over to him like I normally did. 657 00:36:37,595 --> 00:36:40,463 I didn't feel sorry for him anymore. 658 00:36:40,565 --> 00:36:43,166 I didn't care. I was done. 659 00:36:55,379 --> 00:36:57,247 May 29, 2015. 660 00:36:57,348 --> 00:36:59,249 It was a Friday, 661 00:36:59,350 --> 00:37:00,750 and... 662 00:37:00,851 --> 00:37:05,288 I just left work, and I was going on my way to the gym. 663 00:37:05,389 --> 00:37:08,358 This particular highway I was on was backed up. 664 00:37:08,459 --> 00:37:11,995 I'm like, "Why is this highway backed up?" 665 00:37:12,096 --> 00:37:17,500 As I got closer, I looked over, and there was a car that was 666 00:37:17,602 --> 00:37:22,405 in the middle of the highway, and pretty much the whole front 667 00:37:22,506 --> 00:37:24,207 was gone. 668 00:37:24,342 --> 00:37:26,810 And I remember I just started praying. 669 00:37:26,911 --> 00:37:28,845 I started crying, 670 00:37:28,946 --> 00:37:31,781 and I got this just weird feeling 671 00:37:31,882 --> 00:37:33,817 that just came over my whole body. 672 00:37:35,686 --> 00:37:37,220 And I was like, "Okay, what is that? 673 00:37:37,321 --> 00:37:39,589 And why am I crying?" 674 00:37:39,690 --> 00:37:42,792 A few minutes later, I get a phone call, 675 00:37:42,893 --> 00:37:44,928 and it's from a friend of mine, and he asked me 676 00:37:45,029 --> 00:37:49,766 if I was... had seen the news, and he says, 677 00:37:49,867 --> 00:37:53,403 "Staff got in an accident, and they think he's dead." 678 00:37:53,504 --> 00:37:54,671 What? 679 00:37:54,772 --> 00:37:55,972 SONJA: The news is saying 680 00:37:56,073 --> 00:37:58,675 he had also killed two other people. 681 00:38:01,012 --> 00:38:03,313 There was a girlfriend 682 00:38:03,414 --> 00:38:05,915 that had been found dead. 683 00:38:06,017 --> 00:38:08,952 And, I said, 684 00:38:09,053 --> 00:38:12,322 was the girl Morgan? 685 00:38:13,724 --> 00:38:15,525 And he said yes. 686 00:38:15,626 --> 00:38:17,927 WOMAN: The man police say killed his estranged girlfriend, 687 00:38:18,029 --> 00:38:20,664 Morgan Rogers, and their one-year-old daughter, Leah, 688 00:38:20,765 --> 00:38:22,165 in their Chesterfield home Friday, 689 00:38:22,266 --> 00:38:25,168 then hours later, killed a brother and sister in a crash 690 00:38:25,269 --> 00:38:26,903 on Interstate 295 while 691 00:38:27,004 --> 00:38:30,674 eluding police, a crash that also killed Shaw. 692 00:38:30,775 --> 00:38:34,678 I found out that Morgan was shot... her and the baby. 693 00:38:34,779 --> 00:38:37,080 Shot them while they were sleeping. 694 00:38:37,181 --> 00:38:38,315 WOMAN: Chesterfield police say 695 00:38:38,416 --> 00:38:41,318 phone records prove Shaw admitted he killed 696 00:38:41,419 --> 00:38:44,120 Rogers and their one-year-old daughter, Leah. 697 00:38:56,267 --> 00:39:01,037 This was the crash site that I saw. 698 00:39:03,207 --> 00:39:05,241 I remember seeing it that day. 699 00:39:06,310 --> 00:39:08,511 I remember driving past the... 700 00:39:08,612 --> 00:39:11,514 The accident site, not knowing what it was. 701 00:39:13,317 --> 00:39:15,352 I had witnessed 702 00:39:16,721 --> 00:39:21,024 where he died 703 00:39:21,125 --> 00:39:23,660 and took two other people's lives with him. 704 00:39:25,796 --> 00:39:29,799 When I found out he was... dead... 705 00:39:32,069 --> 00:39:34,904 I could breathe. I could finally breathe. 706 00:39:47,785 --> 00:39:49,919 He was back living a double life again. 707 00:39:51,689 --> 00:39:54,090 He went back to his family 708 00:39:54,191 --> 00:39:57,894 but was still seeing another woman on the side. 709 00:39:57,995 --> 00:40:01,398 That next day, 710 00:40:01,499 --> 00:40:04,000 me and some friends 711 00:40:04,101 --> 00:40:05,869 went to a vigil. 712 00:40:05,970 --> 00:40:08,304 WOMAN: Through prayers and tears, 713 00:40:08,406 --> 00:40:11,141 a community comes together, mourning the lives of 714 00:40:11,242 --> 00:40:14,144 Morgan Rogers and her one-year-old baby, Leah, 715 00:40:14,245 --> 00:40:16,279 murdered in their Chesterfield home. 716 00:40:16,380 --> 00:40:19,716 I have some survivor's guilt that 717 00:40:19,817 --> 00:40:20,884 I was still here. 718 00:40:26,757 --> 00:40:28,425 And they weren't. 719 00:40:30,261 --> 00:40:32,228 It almost felt wrong 720 00:40:32,329 --> 00:40:34,531 for me to feel thankful 721 00:40:34,632 --> 00:40:37,834 for still living. 722 00:40:41,906 --> 00:40:43,740 And for getting out. 723 00:40:43,841 --> 00:40:45,608 This very easily could have been me, 724 00:40:45,709 --> 00:40:48,812 and I think that's what's so hard for me is because 725 00:40:48,913 --> 00:40:51,514 I've seen the end of a gun with... in his hand. 726 00:40:58,923 --> 00:41:02,592 The guilt was about me not speaking up back then and me 727 00:41:02,693 --> 00:41:05,862 not saying anything to Morgan when I talked to her that day. 728 00:41:05,963 --> 00:41:09,432 And if I would have said something, 729 00:41:09,533 --> 00:41:12,569 if I would have told her to... 730 00:41:14,038 --> 00:41:16,272 what kind of a person he really was. 731 00:41:16,373 --> 00:41:19,409 He was a monster. 732 00:41:19,510 --> 00:41:23,847 And I know no other word to call him than a monster. 733 00:41:23,948 --> 00:41:26,783 WOMAN: While she and others remember the tragedy in this 734 00:41:26,884 --> 00:41:31,087 home, Holt has this message for domestic violence victims. 735 00:41:31,188 --> 00:41:33,590 Tell someone. Don't be... don't be silent, 736 00:41:33,691 --> 00:41:36,526 because this is what happens when you're silent. 737 00:41:36,627 --> 00:41:40,630 If I didn't leave, would that have been my fate? 738 00:41:40,731 --> 00:41:42,966 If we did have children together, 739 00:41:43,067 --> 00:41:45,401 would that have been our fate? 740 00:41:52,009 --> 00:41:55,411 It became my personal mission 741 00:41:55,513 --> 00:41:58,648 to educate other women and girls 742 00:41:58,782 --> 00:42:01,818 about domestic violence, because 743 00:42:01,919 --> 00:42:06,155 the only way that it gets stopped as if we educate. 744 00:42:06,257 --> 00:42:08,758 Too many people are losing their lives 745 00:42:08,859 --> 00:42:11,761 and have lost their lives, 746 00:42:11,862 --> 00:42:14,364 and it has to stop. 747 00:42:14,465 --> 00:42:15,965 I want people to hear 748 00:42:16,066 --> 00:42:17,967 the signs. 749 00:42:19,436 --> 00:42:21,237 It's not always easy to leave, 750 00:42:22,339 --> 00:42:25,141 but you don't have to suffer in silence. 751 00:42:25,242 --> 00:42:28,711 I have to keep speaking, and I have to keep pushing 752 00:42:28,812 --> 00:42:30,246 and helping, 753 00:42:30,347 --> 00:42:33,049 because there's too many people out there to help.