1
00:00:01,369 --> 00:00:02,799
MAN WITH A PLAN #201
"The Silver Fox"
Closed Captioned

2
00:00:02,836 --> 00:00:04,206
ADAM:
You got us going to the opera

3
00:00:04,238 --> 00:00:06,268
three nights in a row?

4
00:00:06,307 --> 00:00:10,177
Just tell me what I did wrong,
and I won't do it again.

5
00:00:10,211 --> 00:00:13,111
No, no. It's an arts festival,
all right?

6
00:00:13,147 --> 00:00:15,317
The first night is opera,
the second night is ballet,

7
00:00:15,349 --> 00:00:17,349
and then the third night is

8
00:00:17,385 --> 00:00:19,045
(under breath):
jazz poetry.

9
00:00:20,354 --> 00:00:22,764
Did you say
"jazz poetry"?

10
00:00:22,790 --> 00:00:25,190
Listen, I-I watched
this Oprah thing

11
00:00:25,226 --> 00:00:27,356
about how exposing yourself
to the fine arts

12
00:00:27,395 --> 00:00:31,325
can maximize
your life's potential.

13
00:00:31,365 --> 00:00:33,795
You ever notice Oprah
doesn't have a husband?

14
00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:38,409
Mom, you have to
return this shirt.

15
00:00:38,439 --> 00:00:41,309
Tiffany from school said
it was offensively boring.

16
00:00:41,342 --> 00:00:45,282
Andi, Katie doesn't like
her shirt. We can't go out.

17
00:00:46,314 --> 00:00:47,784
Here's what you do;
you look Tiffany

18
00:00:47,815 --> 00:00:49,415
straight in the eye,
and you say,

19
00:00:49,450 --> 00:00:51,290
"It doesn't matter what I wear

20
00:00:51,319 --> 00:00:55,289
because there's a candle in me
that no wind can blow out."

21
00:00:55,323 --> 00:00:57,263
Sure, I'll say that

22
00:00:57,291 --> 00:00:58,731
if you tell me what school
you're transferring me to.

23
00:00:58,759 --> 00:01:00,159
Oh.

24
00:01:00,194 --> 00:01:01,264
(doorbell rings)

25
00:01:01,295 --> 00:01:02,355
Oh, guys, that's
the babysitter.

26
00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:07,265
Hi.

27
00:01:07,301 --> 00:01:09,541
I'm sorry, uh, I think you're
in the wrong neighborhood.

28
00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:11,540
Are you looking
for Coachella?

29
00:01:11,572 --> 00:01:13,372
Adam, this is Sophia.

30
00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:14,837
She volunteers down
at the hospital.

31
00:01:14,875 --> 00:01:17,305
Oh.
Hi. You must be Emme.

32
00:01:17,345 --> 00:01:20,475
I'm the cute one you're not
gonna be able to say no to.

33
00:01:20,514 --> 00:01:23,154
(laughs)
I was just thinking that.

34
00:01:23,184 --> 00:01:24,894
I'm Ted. What's up, girl?

35
00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:27,488
Don't say that.

36
00:01:27,521 --> 00:01:30,421
You said it was a good line
for picking up babes.

37
00:01:30,458 --> 00:01:32,828
Don't say that, either.

38
00:01:32,860 --> 00:01:34,860
Uh, come on in.

39
00:01:34,895 --> 00:01:36,355
Awesome.

40
00:01:39,500 --> 00:01:40,670
And, Andi, come on out.

41
00:01:43,204 --> 00:01:44,814
J-Just one...
(chuckles)

42
00:01:44,838 --> 00:01:47,478
What have you brought
into our home?

43
00:01:47,508 --> 00:01:49,378
What's wrong with Sophia?

44
00:01:49,410 --> 00:01:51,750
Oh, come on. What does she
do down at the hospital?

45
00:01:51,779 --> 00:01:54,919
Just walk around and give
people a reason to live?

46
00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:58,388
Plus, I thought Katie
was our babysitter now.

47
00:01:58,419 --> 00:02:00,389
Well, yeah, but this is
three school nights in a row.

48
00:02:00,421 --> 00:02:02,661
And I knew Kate would be mad
if I got a sitter,

49
00:02:02,690 --> 00:02:05,430
so I got a young, cool one
that she'd like.

50
00:02:05,459 --> 00:02:07,199
Andi, you made a
rule in this house

51
00:02:07,228 --> 00:02:08,758
that we would never
hire hot babysitters.

52
00:02:08,796 --> 00:02:11,466
You said, "No one
above a six."

53
00:02:12,333 --> 00:02:14,303
She's a 60.

54
00:02:14,335 --> 00:02:17,165
Yes, Adam, there was a time
that I didn't want

55
00:02:17,205 --> 00:02:20,305
a young, hot girl hanging
around my husband, but...

56
00:02:20,341 --> 00:02:21,681
it's fine now.

57
00:02:25,879 --> 00:02:27,619
What is that
supposed to mean?

58
00:02:27,648 --> 00:02:29,418
You know,
we're getting older...

59
00:02:29,450 --> 00:02:31,850
Okay, don't
include me in that.

60
00:02:31,885 --> 00:02:33,445
I am not getting older.

61
00:02:33,487 --> 00:02:36,217
I am maturing
into a silver fox.

62
00:02:36,257 --> 00:02:37,527
Okay? And what is
more attractive

63
00:02:37,558 --> 00:02:40,528
to a young woman
than a silver fox?

64
00:02:40,561 --> 00:02:43,431
A young, healthy fox?

65
00:02:43,464 --> 00:02:47,304
Andi, the dad and
the hot babysitter?

66
00:02:47,335 --> 00:02:50,395
That's the premise of,
like, every good movie.

67
00:02:51,739 --> 00:02:54,509
Alpha male providing
for his family.

68
00:02:54,542 --> 00:02:57,512
Young minx sees
that, wants that,

69
00:02:57,545 --> 00:02:59,375
decides to kill the wife

70
00:02:59,413 --> 00:03:02,853
and make new babies
with Mr. Alpha.

71
00:03:02,883 --> 00:03:06,453
It's a whole aisle
at the video store.

72
00:03:06,487 --> 00:03:07,587
Okay, well, I'm gonna say,

73
00:03:07,621 --> 00:03:09,291
if you think
there's still video stores,

74
00:03:09,323 --> 00:03:10,393
I got nothing
to worry about.

75
00:03:14,395 --> 00:03:15,755
They make these
babysitter movies

76
00:03:15,796 --> 00:03:17,766
because it's a real thing.

77
00:03:17,798 --> 00:03:20,298
Let me tell you something,
I've been getting looks

78
00:03:20,334 --> 00:03:23,544
from babysitters since...
I was babysat.

79
00:03:23,571 --> 00:03:25,571
(opera music playing)

80
00:03:31,612 --> 00:03:34,752
She drags me to this thing
and now she's sleeping?

81
00:03:34,782 --> 00:03:37,992
She is gonna pay for this.

82
00:03:38,018 --> 00:03:39,788
Oh, yeah.

83
00:03:42,790 --> 00:03:44,330
So, how'd it go?

84
00:03:44,358 --> 00:03:45,558
Oh, the kids were great.

85
00:03:45,593 --> 00:03:47,563
You know, I think
it's so sweet that Teddy

86
00:03:47,595 --> 00:03:50,695
wanted to sit on my lap
and get rocked to sleep.

87
00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:56,470
Not a bad move, actually.

88
00:03:56,504 --> 00:04:00,714
Well, the opera
was amazing, okay?

89
00:04:04,445 --> 00:04:08,815
I... feel like
a changed woman, you know?

90
00:04:08,849 --> 00:04:10,279
ADAM:
All right.

91
00:04:10,318 --> 00:04:13,688
Well, we should
probably, uh, let you go.

92
00:04:13,721 --> 00:04:15,691
And, uh, listen,
if something comes up

93
00:04:15,723 --> 00:04:17,363
tomorrow night, last minute,

94
00:04:17,391 --> 00:04:19,361
and you can't make it,
I'll pay you double.

95
00:04:19,393 --> 00:04:21,503
(laughs)
You're hilarious.

96
00:04:21,529 --> 00:04:22,999
All right, see you tomorrow.

97
00:04:23,030 --> 00:04:25,030
Bye.
Bye.

98
00:04:25,065 --> 00:04:27,535
Did you hear that?

99
00:04:28,569 --> 00:04:30,699
She thinks I'm hilarious.

100
00:04:30,738 --> 00:04:33,368
It's starting.

101
00:04:33,407 --> 00:04:36,507
Okay, clearly I hit a nerve,

102
00:04:36,544 --> 00:04:38,584
but, you know, don't take it
personally, honey.

103
00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:40,282
I mean, I'm getting older, too.

104
00:04:41,081 --> 00:04:42,451
The stock boy
at the grocery store

105
00:04:42,483 --> 00:04:43,953
barely looks down
my shirt anymore.

106
00:04:43,984 --> 00:04:46,524
What stock boy? Brian?

107
00:04:46,554 --> 00:04:48,964
I bought a candy bar
for his stupid basketball team

108
00:04:48,989 --> 00:04:50,519
and he does me like this?

109
00:04:52,460 --> 00:04:53,630
Hey, where's Sophia?

110
00:04:53,661 --> 00:04:54,901
Oh, she just left.

111
00:04:54,928 --> 00:04:56,628
Ugh. I wanted
to show her...

112
00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:01,703
What happened to you?

113
00:05:01,735 --> 00:05:03,495
Uh... a little culture.

114
00:05:03,537 --> 00:05:06,107
She is radiant.

115
00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:10,039
Look, I just wanted to say
how awesome Sophia is.

116
00:05:10,077 --> 00:05:11,977
She's super cool
and really easy to talk to.

117
00:05:12,012 --> 00:05:15,382
Ah, I knew it. See?

118
00:05:15,416 --> 00:05:20,516
I think moms are a little cooler
than you give us credit for.

119
00:05:20,554 --> 00:05:23,524
Uh, honey, you got a little,
uh, a little...

120
00:05:23,557 --> 00:05:24,857
a little something
on your...
What? What?

121
00:05:24,892 --> 00:05:26,892
...a little something
right there.
Where?

122
00:05:27,995 --> 00:05:30,425
(gasps)
Adam!

123
00:05:31,932 --> 00:05:33,932
I'm not even sorry, señor.

124
00:05:36,003 --> 00:05:38,613
*

125
00:05:46,780 --> 00:05:48,550
And then Andi
basically says I'm too old

126
00:05:48,582 --> 00:05:50,882
to be attractive
to the hot babysitter.

127
00:05:50,918 --> 00:05:54,488
That's crazy.
It's the babysitter and the dad.

128
00:05:55,956 --> 00:05:58,086
Has Andi never been
to the video store?

129
00:05:58,125 --> 00:05:59,885
That's what I said.

130
00:05:59,927 --> 00:06:01,557
By the way,

131
00:06:01,595 --> 00:06:03,825
there's no more video
stores. Get with it, man.

132
00:06:05,933 --> 00:06:07,603
Well, thank you for drawing

133
00:06:07,635 --> 00:06:09,665
a semi-permanent mustache
on my face.

134
00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:12,644
Kept trying to rub it off,

135
00:06:12,673 --> 00:06:14,813
but it just looked like
I was stroking it.

136
00:06:14,842 --> 00:06:17,712
Hey, you were sleeping
with your mouth open.

137
00:06:17,745 --> 00:06:19,605
You're lucky
I didn't black out a tooth.

138
00:06:19,647 --> 00:06:21,717
No, you didn't do that
because I fell asleep.

139
00:06:21,749 --> 00:06:23,479
You did it
because of what I said

140
00:06:23,517 --> 00:06:24,617
about you and the babysitter.

141
00:06:24,652 --> 00:06:26,652
Oh.
Oh, that's
definitely why.

142
00:06:26,687 --> 00:06:28,757
He was just
talking about it.

143
00:06:33,561 --> 00:06:34,961
Okay, well, enjoy the ballet.

144
00:06:34,995 --> 00:06:37,055
I'll just be stuck at home
watching the playoffs.

145
00:06:42,670 --> 00:06:46,210
Kate, why did you cut up
your new shirt?

146
00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:48,109
Oh, Sophia said to beat Tiffany
at her own game

147
00:06:48,141 --> 00:06:49,881
by making it cooler
than anything she wears.

148
00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:51,210
But I bought one, too.

149
00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:53,654
We were twinsies.

150
00:06:53,681 --> 00:06:55,021
Well, you're not cutting up
your shirt.

151
00:06:55,048 --> 00:06:57,448
Stock Boy Brian is getting
an eyeful as it is.

152
00:06:59,219 --> 00:07:01,589
Oh, and, uh, you don't have to
make dinner for me and Sophia.

153
00:07:01,622 --> 00:07:02,862
She's bringing sushi.

154
00:07:02,890 --> 00:07:05,090
I'm always trying
to get you to eat sushi.

155
00:07:05,125 --> 00:07:06,555
You said you hate it.

156
00:07:06,594 --> 00:07:08,904
Sophia said I'd like it.

157
00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:12,029
I said you'd like it.

158
00:07:12,065 --> 00:07:13,625
But then Sophia said it.

159
00:07:16,737 --> 00:07:18,067
Did you hear that?

160
00:07:18,105 --> 00:07:19,935
She's gonna try sushi
for Sophia?

161
00:07:21,008 --> 00:07:24,778
Hope Sophia gets a chopstick
in the eye.

162
00:07:24,812 --> 00:07:26,152
Way to rise above it.

163
00:07:27,915 --> 00:07:29,645
(sniffs)

164
00:07:29,683 --> 00:07:32,093
You smell that? What is that?

165
00:07:32,119 --> 00:07:34,759
Hey, Dad,
Sophia's gonna be here soon.

166
00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:35,758
How much cologne is too much?

167
00:07:38,859 --> 00:07:40,859
You nailed it, buddy.

168
00:07:43,764 --> 00:07:45,534
I don't see why
you're so bent out of shape.

169
00:07:45,566 --> 00:07:47,066
I thought the whole reason
you hired Sophia

170
00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:48,800
was so that Katie
would like her.

171
00:07:48,836 --> 00:07:49,936
It was.

172
00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:51,240
And that's what happened.

173
00:07:51,271 --> 00:07:53,241
I know.

174
00:07:53,273 --> 00:07:57,183
But now you seem mad.
Oh, I'm mad.

175
00:07:57,210 --> 00:07:58,650
Take it easy.

176
00:07:58,679 --> 00:08:00,049
I mean, I-I'd go
get you a wine,

177
00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:03,280
but it's $17, and if I go,
I'm not coming back.

178
00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:06,046
You know what?
Sophia needs to be told

179
00:08:06,086 --> 00:08:07,616
that there are boundaries.

180
00:08:07,655 --> 00:08:11,285
Right? And I would like
for you to do that.

181
00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:14,194
All right, I'll talk to her,
but I think you're overreacting.

182
00:08:14,227 --> 00:08:17,297
I am not. I give Kate
advice, all right?

183
00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:19,730
Not some hotsy-totsy
babysitter.

184
00:08:19,767 --> 00:08:22,267
All right, her only job
is to heat up Hot Pockets,

185
00:08:22,302 --> 00:08:24,872
give Teddy some cheap
thrills and get out.

186
00:08:27,875 --> 00:08:30,505
What? We're not
ballet people.

187
00:08:34,047 --> 00:08:34,777
Hey.

188
00:08:34,815 --> 00:08:35,915
How was night two?

189
00:08:35,949 --> 00:08:38,789
Better, yeah.
We both fell asleep.

190
00:08:39,953 --> 00:08:43,023
Kate, you're still up
gabbing with your gal pal.

191
00:08:43,056 --> 00:08:45,986
That's great. I love to
see you two getting along.

192
00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:47,026
(Andi chuckles)

193
00:08:47,060 --> 00:08:48,200
Adam.

194
00:08:48,228 --> 00:08:49,558
What?

195
00:08:49,597 --> 00:08:50,557
Adam.

196
00:08:50,598 --> 00:08:51,568
What?

197
00:08:51,599 --> 00:08:52,769
Adam.

198
00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:54,270
Am I not saying, "What?"

199
00:08:54,301 --> 00:08:56,701
I hear myself
saying, "What?"

200
00:08:56,737 --> 00:08:59,707
Oh, my God, we are
having such a blast.

201
00:08:59,740 --> 00:09:01,340
Sophia Instagrammed a
picture of my new top

202
00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:02,914
and everyone liked it.

203
00:09:02,943 --> 00:09:05,013
So, Tiffany had to.
It was total domination.

204
00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:06,805
Mm-hmm. We owned her.

205
00:09:06,847 --> 00:09:09,017
Give it up, girl.

206
00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:10,919
(chuckles)

207
00:09:10,951 --> 00:09:14,021
I love the new secret
handshake, and I...

208
00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:15,924
and-and I-I'm glad
that Sophia's advice

209
00:09:15,956 --> 00:09:17,826
worked out for you. Adam!

210
00:09:17,858 --> 00:09:20,028
Oh! Okay, okay.
I gotcha, I gotcha.

211
00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:21,860
Uh, come on, honey. Let's
get you to bed. Come on.

212
00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:22,955
See you tomorrow.

213
00:09:22,996 --> 00:09:24,196
Can't wait.

214
00:09:24,231 --> 00:09:27,701
Okay, keep it moving.

215
00:09:27,735 --> 00:09:29,195
All righty, here you go.

216
00:09:29,236 --> 00:09:31,636
Thank you.

217
00:09:31,672 --> 00:09:34,812
Uh, actually, uh,
now that we're alone,

218
00:09:34,842 --> 00:09:37,882
we need to have a talk
about boundaries.

219
00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:39,811
The wife's a little upset.

220
00:09:39,847 --> 00:09:41,817
Oh.

221
00:09:41,849 --> 00:09:43,779
Well, then,
I guess I'll just have

222
00:09:43,817 --> 00:09:45,917
to try to behave
myself around you.

223
00:09:49,322 --> 00:09:52,332
Wh-Who? Me?

224
00:09:52,359 --> 00:09:53,829
Me, me?

225
00:09:53,861 --> 00:09:56,761
You know what I mean.

226
00:09:56,797 --> 00:09:59,197
I knew it!

227
00:09:59,232 --> 00:10:00,672
(chuckles):
Oh, my gosh.

228
00:10:00,701 --> 00:10:02,741
You are just ridiculous.

229
00:10:02,770 --> 00:10:04,710
(stammering):
O-Okay.

230
00:10:04,738 --> 00:10:07,168
(chuckling):
Yeah, well, you...

231
00:10:07,207 --> 00:10:11,007
That's, uh, that's me,
ridiculous. Okay.

232
00:10:11,044 --> 00:10:13,784
See you tomorrow.

233
00:10:15,883 --> 00:10:17,993
Yeah.

234
00:10:18,018 --> 00:10:19,388
Buh-bye.

235
00:10:32,299 --> 00:10:34,399
The silver fox.

236
00:10:44,845 --> 00:10:46,445
So, did you talk to Sophia
about the boundaries?

237
00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:48,849
Oh, I did.
And what I learned is,

238
00:10:48,882 --> 00:10:51,892
there is no boundary strong
enough to protect her

239
00:10:51,919 --> 00:10:55,459
from my overwhelming
silver foxiness.

240
00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:57,928
What?

241
00:10:57,958 --> 00:10:59,358
Okay, so what exactly happened?

242
00:10:59,392 --> 00:11:01,732
She said, and I quote,

243
00:11:01,762 --> 00:11:04,872
"Oh, my gosh,
you are just ridiculous."

244
00:11:07,901 --> 00:11:10,271
Is this the intermission,
or is that the whole story?

245
00:11:10,303 --> 00:11:12,443
Okay, how about this?

246
00:11:12,472 --> 00:11:15,142
When she was leaving,
she said, "See you tomorrow."

247
00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:18,175
And her eyebrows were going
all over her face, like this.

248
00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:21,479
Okay, Adam, I believe

249
00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:24,124
that you believe
something happened.

250
00:11:24,151 --> 00:11:27,051
I'm telling you, this girl is
well on her way to killing you

251
00:11:27,087 --> 00:11:29,287
and making me give her babies.

252
00:11:29,322 --> 00:11:30,962
I'm gonna roll the dice
on that one.

253
00:11:30,991 --> 00:11:33,131
Fine.

254
00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:35,130
But when you're a ghost
floating over the bed,

255
00:11:35,162 --> 00:11:37,702
watching us make babies,
you'll be sorry!

256
00:11:45,238 --> 00:11:46,338
ADAM:
Andi doesn't believe me,

257
00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:47,743
but I'm telling you,
I was getting

258
00:11:47,775 --> 00:11:49,735
major vibes from the babysitter.

259
00:11:49,777 --> 00:11:51,707
She was eye-snacking me.

260
00:11:53,346 --> 00:11:55,016
All the ladies love Adam.

261
00:11:55,048 --> 00:11:57,218
I went to froyo with him,
and the girl behind the counter

262
00:11:57,250 --> 00:12:00,120
upgraded him to a waffle cone,
no charge.

263
00:12:01,889 --> 00:12:04,089
She wouldn't even give me
a water cup.

264
00:12:05,826 --> 00:12:07,456
Enjoy your youth, son.

265
00:12:07,494 --> 00:12:10,434
I used to be a porch light
for every moth in town.

266
00:12:11,865 --> 00:12:13,295
I think this whole thing
is a sign

267
00:12:13,333 --> 00:12:17,043
that Andi and I are getting
complacent in our marriage.

268
00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:20,270
I drew a mustache on my own wife
like she was a drinking buddy.

269
00:12:21,875 --> 00:12:23,435
I wouldn't have done that
five years ago.

270
00:12:23,476 --> 00:12:25,276
Well, I don't know,
everybody says

271
00:12:25,312 --> 00:12:27,012
the best time in a
marriage is when you get

272
00:12:27,047 --> 00:12:28,347
really comfortable
with each other.

273
00:12:28,381 --> 00:12:30,121
Well, everybody is wrong.

274
00:12:31,451 --> 00:12:33,021
Okay. You know what every
marriage really needs?

275
00:12:33,053 --> 00:12:35,863
Trust?
Trust? No. Gross.

276
00:12:36,890 --> 00:12:38,460
No, the thing that keeps
the romance alive

277
00:12:38,491 --> 00:12:39,991
in a marriage is fear.

278
00:12:40,994 --> 00:12:42,834
Both people need to think
they got someone better

279
00:12:42,863 --> 00:12:45,803
than they deserve, so they bust
their butts to hang on.

280
00:12:45,833 --> 00:12:49,203
Fear is the...
the special sauce.

281
00:12:49,236 --> 00:12:51,136
Fear, huh?

282
00:12:51,171 --> 00:12:53,011
Now, does this
special sauce work

283
00:12:53,040 --> 00:12:54,770
if only the husband is scared?

284
00:12:55,943 --> 00:12:57,413
I'm asking for a friend.

285
00:13:01,014 --> 00:13:05,894
Honey, I want to apologize
for the jazz poetry.

286
00:13:05,919 --> 00:13:09,389
Yeah, why would anyone put those
two terrible things together?

287
00:13:09,422 --> 00:13:12,362
It's like getting a root canal
during a colonoscopy.

288
00:13:12,392 --> 00:13:14,132
(both laugh)
That's funny.

289
00:13:14,161 --> 00:13:17,831
I'm-- You know, I'm afraid
to even go in there.

290
00:13:17,865 --> 00:13:19,995
I mean, if Kate and Sophia
have another new handshake,

291
00:13:20,033 --> 00:13:22,073
I'm gonna start pulling hair.

292
00:13:22,102 --> 00:13:24,602
Andi, the big deal isn't
what Sophia's doing with Katie,

293
00:13:24,637 --> 00:13:26,937
it's what Sophia wants to do
with Mr. Alpha.

294
00:13:26,974 --> 00:13:28,084
And I'm gonna
prove it to you.

295
00:13:28,108 --> 00:13:29,608
So, buckle up, I am about to go

296
00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:31,282
full silver fox
on the babysitter.

297
00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:35,921
Wait. Are you the silver fox
or are you Mr. Alpha?

298
00:13:35,949 --> 00:13:38,949
I'm alpha silver fox.

299
00:13:38,986 --> 00:13:40,846
This is for you, baby, okay?

300
00:13:40,888 --> 00:13:42,018
No, Adam, wait.
No, no.

301
00:13:42,055 --> 00:13:44,185
You just watch her eyebrows.
They tell the whole story.

302
00:13:45,458 --> 00:13:47,998
Hey.

303
00:13:48,028 --> 00:13:49,928
You survived jazz poetry.
How was it?

304
00:13:49,963 --> 00:13:53,403
Ugh. It was like getting a
root canal during a colonoscopy.

305
00:13:53,433 --> 00:13:55,043
(chuckles)

306
00:13:55,068 --> 00:13:58,138
A colonoscopy.
I think my dad had one of those.

307
00:14:00,140 --> 00:14:01,440
Okay, why don't we just,
uh, pay Sophia

308
00:14:01,474 --> 00:14:03,014
and let her go on her way?

309
00:14:03,043 --> 00:14:05,513
Oh, yeah, sure, sure, sure.
But first, let me just,

310
00:14:05,545 --> 00:14:07,545
uh, get this jacket off--
it's so tight.

311
00:14:07,580 --> 00:14:09,520
(groans)

312
00:14:09,549 --> 00:14:10,979
When you swing a hammer
for a living,

313
00:14:11,018 --> 00:14:12,548
everything gets
bigger and stronger...

314
00:14:15,923 --> 00:14:17,063
Adam, you really don't
have to do this.

315
00:14:17,090 --> 00:14:18,230
No, no, no.
Open the window.

316
00:14:18,258 --> 00:14:19,628
I'm about to turn up the heat.

317
00:14:22,129 --> 00:14:23,529
Oh, hey, Sophia,

318
00:14:23,563 --> 00:14:24,973
look at that.

319
00:14:24,998 --> 00:14:26,498
Emme left her doll on the floor.

320
00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:27,633
I'll-I'll get it.

321
00:14:27,667 --> 00:14:31,367
I guess I'll just bend over--
probably the best way.

322
00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:47,046
Okay. Okay, Magic Mike,
show's over.

323
00:14:47,087 --> 00:14:49,417
Hey, my roommate

324
00:14:49,456 --> 00:14:51,356
just texted me and said
that she can't pick me up.

325
00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:53,061
Is there any way
I could catch a ride home?

326
00:14:53,093 --> 00:14:55,163
Oh, yeah, sure.
Adam can take you.

327
00:14:57,164 --> 00:14:58,674
For what it's worth,
I liked your moves.

328
00:15:01,268 --> 00:15:01,698
Night.

329
00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:02,644
Night.

330
00:15:05,705 --> 00:15:07,265
What are you doing to me?

331
00:15:07,307 --> 00:15:09,677
I was dying when you were
showing off your arms.

332
00:15:09,709 --> 00:15:12,249
What? Where were the eyebrows?

333
00:15:12,279 --> 00:15:14,649
You were in a coma over there.

334
00:15:14,681 --> 00:15:16,021
You talked to me
about boundaries,

335
00:15:16,049 --> 00:15:17,219
and your wife was right there.

336
00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:18,550
Well...

337
00:15:18,585 --> 00:15:20,715
But she won't be
on the ride home.

338
00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:23,923
It'll just be you and me
and those arms.

339
00:15:24,724 --> 00:15:25,694
I'll be waiting in the car.

340
00:15:25,725 --> 00:15:27,325
Okay.
(chuckles)

341
00:15:31,731 --> 00:15:34,101
Uh-oh.

342
00:15:34,134 --> 00:15:36,244
I was too sexy.

343
00:15:39,639 --> 00:15:41,669
I need a Tums.

344
00:15:41,708 --> 00:15:45,108
Andi, you need to come
downstairs now.

345
00:15:45,145 --> 00:15:48,015
What's wrong?
Alpha silver fox
is being hunted!

346
00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:54,652
There's been
an escalation.

347
00:15:54,687 --> 00:15:57,217
Sophia is gonna
jump me in the car.

348
00:15:57,257 --> 00:15:58,687
You have to
drive her home.

349
00:15:58,725 --> 00:16:01,255
What? Adam, I...

350
00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:05,204
Oh, I know what this is.

351
00:16:05,232 --> 00:16:08,002
You're having a midlife crisis.

352
00:16:08,035 --> 00:16:10,365
No, no, no.
That's not it.

353
00:16:10,403 --> 00:16:12,043
No, it happens
to everyone, okay?

354
00:16:12,072 --> 00:16:14,242
We just have to cheer you up.
Do you want a tattoo?

355
00:16:15,742 --> 00:16:18,512
Or a Jet Ski? Hmm?

356
00:16:18,545 --> 00:16:21,145
I don't get it. I-I'm telling
you this girl's into me,

357
00:16:21,181 --> 00:16:23,351
and you're sending me off
into the night with her.

358
00:16:23,383 --> 00:16:25,523
(scoffs) Meanwhile,
Katie tries sushi,

359
00:16:25,552 --> 00:16:28,562
and you get jealous and make me
have talks about boundaries.

360
00:16:28,588 --> 00:16:30,788
Let me tell you something,
Katie is 15 years old.

361
00:16:30,823 --> 00:16:32,663
It's normal for her
to ignore her mother

362
00:16:32,692 --> 00:16:34,232
and take advice from a friend.

363
00:16:34,261 --> 00:16:36,201
Did you listen to your mother
when you were 15?

364
00:16:36,229 --> 00:16:39,199
Oh, hell no.
I'd still have a perm.

365
00:16:39,232 --> 00:16:42,542
Exactly. And that's normal.
And thank God.

366
00:16:42,569 --> 00:16:43,539
Yeah.

367
00:16:43,570 --> 00:16:44,670
But what's not
normal is

368
00:16:44,704 --> 00:16:46,744
we are losing our special sauce.

369
00:16:46,773 --> 00:16:47,643
Our special what?

370
00:16:47,674 --> 00:16:50,784
Special sauce, Andi!
Our special sauce!

371
00:16:52,212 --> 00:16:54,552
If I tell you a girl is
making moves on me,

372
00:16:54,581 --> 00:16:56,251
you should care.

373
00:16:58,218 --> 00:16:59,688
You're right.

374
00:16:59,719 --> 00:17:02,089
Thank you.

375
00:17:02,122 --> 00:17:04,092
I did overreact about Kate.

376
00:17:06,226 --> 00:17:07,786
Are you kidding me?

377
00:17:07,827 --> 00:17:10,457
Fine. I'll
drive her home,

378
00:17:10,497 --> 00:17:12,727
but I am not responsible
for what happens.

379
00:17:16,369 --> 00:17:18,139
I'm not doing it!

380
00:17:22,209 --> 00:17:23,709
ANDI:
So, Sophia,

381
00:17:23,743 --> 00:17:26,483
last couple days, I've
been feeling a little...

382
00:17:26,513 --> 00:17:28,283
jealous.

383
00:17:28,315 --> 00:17:30,815
Uh-oh.

384
00:17:30,850 --> 00:17:32,820
And I know you had
a conversation

385
00:17:32,852 --> 00:17:34,852
with my husband
about boundaries.

386
00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:36,787
He told you about that?

387
00:17:36,823 --> 00:17:39,493
No, no, no, no, no.
I-I just wanted to tell you,

388
00:17:39,526 --> 00:17:40,556
I'm cool with it.

389
00:17:41,594 --> 00:17:43,634
Yeah, I mean, if it works
for the two of you,

390
00:17:43,663 --> 00:17:44,803
works for me.

391
00:17:44,831 --> 00:17:47,171
Wow.

392
00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:49,200
You're very open-minded.

393
00:17:49,236 --> 00:17:50,496
I know.

394
00:17:51,604 --> 00:17:52,744
In fact, I mean,

395
00:17:52,772 --> 00:17:54,772
I don't want to intrude,
but, um,

396
00:17:54,807 --> 00:17:57,477
it would be great
if sometime all three of us

397
00:17:57,510 --> 00:18:00,310
could be together
while you're doing your thing.

398
00:18:00,347 --> 00:18:02,847
You know, maybe I could
pick up some new tricks.

399
00:18:02,882 --> 00:18:06,492
I've never done that before,
but the more the merrier, I say.

400
00:18:06,519 --> 00:18:09,119
That's the spirit.
(laughs)

401
00:18:09,156 --> 00:18:10,786
We're gonna have
some fun, Sophia.

402
00:18:10,823 --> 00:18:13,763
Yeah, most wives aren't this
open to sharing their husbands.

403
00:18:13,793 --> 00:18:15,263
Well, yeah, you know--

404
00:18:15,295 --> 00:18:16,325
What now?

405
00:18:17,664 --> 00:18:19,874
You're leaving me
at the police station?

406
00:18:19,899 --> 00:18:21,869
I was gonna leave you
by the side of the road,

407
00:18:21,901 --> 00:18:23,871
but I'm a mother, and I wanted
you to get home safe.

408
00:18:23,903 --> 00:18:25,773
And you know what,
I'll tell you this.

409
00:18:25,805 --> 00:18:27,905
I don't need any help
in the bedroom, all right?

410
00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:30,840
I have been having sex
longer than you've been alive.

411
00:18:32,545 --> 00:18:35,315
And I should've stopped
talking, but I still win!

412
00:18:35,348 --> 00:18:37,618
What...?

413
00:18:37,650 --> 00:18:39,420
And then, I just
got crazy jealous,

414
00:18:39,452 --> 00:18:41,352
and I left her at
the police station.

415
00:18:41,388 --> 00:18:44,318
Ah, there's the special sauce.

416
00:18:44,357 --> 00:18:46,487
Huh?

417
00:18:46,526 --> 00:18:48,456
(chuckles):
Oh.

418
00:18:48,495 --> 00:18:50,595
Now, you were saying
there was some talk

419
00:18:50,630 --> 00:18:53,400
about some kind
of group thing?

420
00:18:55,402 --> 00:18:58,212
That's crazy. Right?

421
00:19:01,208 --> 00:19:02,538
Yes, it's crazy.

422
00:19:02,575 --> 00:19:05,205
That's what I said.
I didn't say anything else.

423
00:19:06,746 --> 00:19:08,346
I guess the really
good news is

424
00:19:08,381 --> 00:19:12,191
that I'm married to
the silver alpha fox.

425
00:19:12,219 --> 00:19:14,619
That's all I wanted to hear.
(chuckles)

426
00:19:17,957 --> 00:19:20,427
By the way,
it's "alpha silver fox."

427
00:19:25,865 --> 00:19:28,795
Get this. Sophia's Instagram
idea made Tiffany totally mad.

428
00:19:28,835 --> 00:19:30,865
Now she's having a party
and just posted a list

429
00:19:30,903 --> 00:19:33,213
of who's not invited-- look.

430
00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:36,810
"Not invited list:
O.J. Simpson,

431
00:19:36,843 --> 00:19:39,253
a ball of rats,
Katie Burns."

432
00:19:39,279 --> 00:19:42,879
Ooh. That's not a list
you want to be on.

433
00:19:42,915 --> 00:19:44,915
Sophia's plan totally backfired.

434
00:19:47,420 --> 00:19:50,760
Mom, what am I gonna do?

435
00:19:50,790 --> 00:19:54,560
Aw. I'm so glad you asked.

436
00:19:54,594 --> 00:19:57,434
Okay... but first,
l-let's do the thing.

437
00:19:58,998 --> 00:20:00,798
Seriously?

438
00:20:00,833 --> 00:20:02,873
Do the thing
with your mother.

439
00:20:03,936 --> 00:20:05,306
(giggles)

440
00:20:05,338 --> 00:20:07,468
Now we're handshake twinsies.

441
00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:10,678
Listen, it just so happens

442
00:20:10,710 --> 00:20:13,910
that the night of the party,
Lady Gaga's in town.

443
00:20:13,946 --> 00:20:15,916
So, what do you say
we go to that

444
00:20:15,948 --> 00:20:17,578
and Instagram
the heck out of it?

445
00:20:17,617 --> 00:20:19,447
I'm so down!
(laughing)

446
00:20:21,821 --> 00:20:24,491
Oh, and you don't have to
worry about Sophia anymore.

447
00:20:24,524 --> 00:20:26,294
You will never
see her again.

448
00:20:26,326 --> 00:20:27,786
Really? What happened?

449
00:20:27,827 --> 00:20:30,297
She hit on your dad.

450
00:20:36,336 --> 00:20:37,936
Gross.
(chuckles)

451
00:20:37,970 --> 00:20:39,870
She's, like, a hundred years
younger than you.

452
00:20:39,906 --> 00:20:41,366
(laughs)

453
00:20:46,713 --> 00:20:48,953
I would like the Jet Ski
to be red.
Okay.

454
00:20:48,981 --> 00:20:50,921
Captioning sponsored by
CBS

455
00:20:50,950 --> 00:20:53,020
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org