1
00:00:02,103 --> 00:00:03,643
You know, these animal
valentines you got

2
00:00:03,671 --> 00:00:06,771
for the kids to take to school,
they're a little racy.

3
00:00:06,807 --> 00:00:08,407
Like, look at
this cartoon bear.

4
00:00:08,442 --> 00:00:12,082
He's wearing nothing
but a bow tie.

5
00:00:12,113 --> 00:00:14,123
Where's he going,
a bachelorette party?

6
00:00:15,316 --> 00:00:17,616
I still don't understand
why every kid in the class

7
00:00:17,651 --> 00:00:18,551
has to get a valentine.

8
00:00:18,586 --> 00:00:20,786
When I was their age,
the only kids who got

9
00:00:20,821 --> 00:00:24,061
a full bag of valentines
were nice or foxy.

10
00:00:25,493 --> 00:00:27,303
Like me.

11
00:00:27,328 --> 00:00:30,098
You were foxy in
the third grade?

12
00:00:30,131 --> 00:00:32,631
Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's
the year I grew into my head.

13
00:00:32,666 --> 00:00:34,436
Ah.
Yeah.

14
00:00:34,468 --> 00:00:38,138
Second grade, not so foxy.
I tipped over a lot.

15
00:00:38,172 --> 00:00:39,212
Yeah.

16
00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:43,575
So, my beautiful bride,

17
00:00:43,611 --> 00:00:46,081
would you like to have
"a whale of a time"

18
00:00:46,114 --> 00:00:48,454
this Valentine's Day?

19
00:00:48,482 --> 00:00:51,792
Actually, this year, I
don't want to do anything.

20
00:00:51,819 --> 00:00:54,119
(laughs)

21
00:00:54,155 --> 00:00:57,525
I love that we can still
make each other laugh.

22
00:00:59,393 --> 00:01:00,863
No, I-I'm serious.

23
00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:03,834
I just, I just want
to do nothing.

24
00:01:03,864 --> 00:01:05,604
Yeah, this feels
like a trap.

25
00:01:05,633 --> 00:01:07,703
No, it's not.

26
00:01:07,735 --> 00:01:09,695
Look, we're always
running around,

27
00:01:09,737 --> 00:01:12,267
and I haven't had time
to get you something.

28
00:01:12,306 --> 00:01:14,876
Plus, they gave me a
standing desk at work,

29
00:01:14,908 --> 00:01:18,148
so I have been on my
feet for three days.

30
00:01:18,179 --> 00:01:20,649
I will not be the first
person to sit down.

31
00:01:21,849 --> 00:01:24,889
So, uh, this doing nothing
for Valentine's Day,

32
00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:26,248
are you serious?

33
00:01:26,287 --> 00:01:28,217
Yes. Yes.

34
00:01:28,256 --> 00:01:31,226
No going out
and no gifts.

35
00:01:37,265 --> 00:01:39,725
My perfect
Valentine's Day

36
00:01:39,767 --> 00:01:43,297
would be a quiet night at
home with the people I love.

37
00:01:43,337 --> 00:01:45,467
And many glasses
of wine.

38
00:01:47,808 --> 00:01:50,438
Okay. Well, I guess
we'll just stay here

39
00:01:50,478 --> 00:01:53,308
and have dinner
with my folks and the kids.

40
00:01:53,347 --> 00:01:55,147
That sounds perfect.

41
00:02:00,521 --> 00:02:02,561
Really?

42
00:02:03,824 --> 00:02:05,834
How many glasses of wine
have you had tonight?

43
00:02:05,859 --> 00:02:06,859
(laughs):
Okay.

44
00:02:06,894 --> 00:02:08,804
Look, bottom line is,

45
00:02:08,829 --> 00:02:10,729
we've celebrated
for 17 years.

46
00:02:10,764 --> 00:02:13,374
I'm just... I'm
over this holiday.

47
00:02:15,236 --> 00:02:18,166
You know, every day
I love you more and more,

48
00:02:18,206 --> 00:02:20,806
because as time goes by...

49
00:02:20,841 --> 00:02:23,211
you make me show it
less and less.

50
00:02:23,244 --> 00:02:24,384
Aw.

51
00:02:27,915 --> 00:02:30,515
So Andi doesn't want anything
for Valentine's Day?

52
00:02:30,551 --> 00:02:34,261
All she wants is to drink wine,
so just her normal night.

53
00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:36,888
That sounds like a trap.

54
00:02:36,924 --> 00:02:39,334
That's what I said;
but she denied it,

55
00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:42,530
and then we made out
for a while, so it's real.

56
00:02:42,563 --> 00:02:44,503
Oh, you've finally reached
that sweet spot in marriage

57
00:02:44,532 --> 00:02:46,232
where you could phone it in.

58
00:02:46,267 --> 00:02:47,867
Welcome to the bigs, kid, huh?

59
00:02:47,901 --> 00:02:50,501
And now I just got to figure out
a gift for Mom.

60
00:02:50,538 --> 00:02:52,738
(chuckles) Good luck with that,
little brother.

61
00:02:52,773 --> 00:02:54,383
I out-gift him every year.

62
00:02:54,408 --> 00:02:55,908
But it's cute
that he still tries.

63
00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:58,410
Don't take it personally.

64
00:02:58,446 --> 00:03:00,276
I'm the oldest;
I made her a mother.

65
00:03:00,314 --> 00:03:01,684
What did you bring
to the table?

66
00:03:01,715 --> 00:03:03,915
Well, unlike you,

67
00:03:03,951 --> 00:03:06,951
I didn't make her deliver a baby
that was three feet tall.

68
00:03:06,987 --> 00:03:09,987
The struggle only
made her love me more.

69
00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:14,533
They put him in the nursery;
people thought he worked there.

70
00:03:14,562 --> 00:03:16,932
Oh, I know what I'll do.

71
00:03:16,964 --> 00:03:20,004
I'll just slide the gift
I bought for Andi over to Mom.

72
00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:23,673
Yeah. A 14-karat-gold necklace
with pictures of the kids on it.

73
00:03:23,704 --> 00:03:25,514
Oh, her grandchildren
will rest on her heart.

74
00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:27,339
Is there a way
to bet on this?

75
00:03:27,375 --> 00:03:29,975
I'd like to put
my money on Adam.

76
00:03:30,010 --> 00:03:31,350
What you boys
don't understand is,

77
00:03:31,379 --> 00:03:33,349
it's not the gift,
it's the giver.

78
00:03:34,415 --> 00:03:35,675
We'll see.

79
00:03:35,716 --> 00:03:37,316
I think I got
a good shot.

80
00:03:37,351 --> 00:03:39,791
This could be the year
that Mom says to you:

81
00:03:39,820 --> 00:03:41,660
"Mm, it's the thought
that counts."

82
00:03:43,824 --> 00:03:45,994
Thanks for letting me
borrow your slow cooker.

83
00:03:46,026 --> 00:03:48,026
Yeah, well,
we had to hide this

84
00:03:48,061 --> 00:03:50,001
after Teddy used it
to boil Emme's Barbies.

85
00:03:50,030 --> 00:03:52,300
Yeah. It was
very disturbing.

86
00:03:52,333 --> 00:03:55,373
The heads are
the last thing to melt.
Ugh.

87
00:03:55,403 --> 00:03:56,903
And they float.

88
00:03:56,937 --> 00:03:58,507
Ugh.

89
00:03:58,539 --> 00:03:59,869
Ooh.

90
00:03:59,907 --> 00:04:01,537
What's this?

91
00:04:01,575 --> 00:04:02,775
Mm.

92
00:04:02,810 --> 00:04:04,450
"To Andi,
Happy Valentine's Day,

93
00:04:04,478 --> 00:04:06,308
love, Adam"? (gasps)

94
00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:08,818
Open it.

95
00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:12,793
Oh, I don't think I should.
Seriously?

96
00:04:12,820 --> 00:04:13,990
No, I'm definitely going to.

97
00:04:14,021 --> 00:04:15,461
I just felt like
I should say that.

98
00:04:15,489 --> 00:04:17,289
(laughs)

99
00:04:17,325 --> 00:04:18,925
(gasps)

100
00:04:18,959 --> 00:04:22,299
Ooh, shiny!
Oh!

101
00:04:22,330 --> 00:04:24,800
Oh, look, and it's got pictures
of the kids on it.

102
00:04:24,832 --> 00:04:27,072
That is so sweet.
But I thought you told him

103
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:29,040
you didn't want anything
for Valentine's Day.

104
00:04:29,069 --> 00:04:31,309
I did, but he didn't listen.

105
00:04:31,339 --> 00:04:33,339
That usually makes me so mad.

106
00:04:33,374 --> 00:04:34,944
(both laugh)

107
00:04:34,975 --> 00:04:36,775
Oh, it's beautiful.

108
00:04:36,810 --> 00:04:38,480
Oh.

109
00:04:38,512 --> 00:04:42,352
I have the most thoughtful
husband in the whole world.

110
00:04:42,383 --> 00:04:45,993
I have the most thoughtful son
in the whole world.

111
00:04:49,357 --> 00:04:51,357
*

112
00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:02,073
I saw this necklace
and I thought,

113
00:05:02,102 --> 00:05:05,412
"There is no one who deserves
this more than my mother."

114
00:05:08,742 --> 00:05:11,042
Now, I don't want to
put words in your mouth,

115
00:05:11,078 --> 00:05:13,378
but it's kind of
the best gift ever, huh?

116
00:05:13,414 --> 00:05:14,354
(giggles)

117
00:05:14,382 --> 00:05:16,452
Oh, I-I don't like
to think of it

118
00:05:16,484 --> 00:05:19,854
as a competition
between you boys, but...

119
00:05:19,887 --> 00:05:22,357
this is gonna be
hard to beat.

120
00:05:22,390 --> 00:05:25,030
I'm glad you like
the new guy's gift.

121
00:05:25,058 --> 00:05:28,398
Now, let's see what
your firstborn got you.

122
00:05:28,429 --> 00:05:30,929
Go get 'em, Donny.

123
00:05:30,964 --> 00:05:32,634
I think you're gonna
love it so much

124
00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:34,736
that next year I'm gonna
have to give you a necklace

125
00:05:34,768 --> 00:05:35,738
with a picture of

126
00:05:35,769 --> 00:05:38,739
this on it.

127
00:05:40,107 --> 00:05:42,037
Huh.

128
00:05:42,075 --> 00:05:43,775
It's a damn cactus!

129
00:05:43,811 --> 00:05:45,081
Uh-huh.

130
00:05:45,112 --> 00:05:46,652
Are you throwing the game?

131
00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:49,450
I know what this is.

132
00:05:49,483 --> 00:05:52,153
This is the beginning of a
scavenger hunt to the real gift.

133
00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:53,715
Where's the clue?
Underneath?

134
00:05:53,754 --> 00:05:56,624
No, Ma, you're always
saying how you love

135
00:05:56,657 --> 00:05:58,787
going to Arizona and
seeing all the cactuses.

136
00:05:58,826 --> 00:06:00,826
She likes to swim,
too; does that mean

137
00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:03,461
you're gonna throw a
bucket of water on her?

138
00:06:03,497 --> 00:06:05,467
Maybe you're mixed up.

139
00:06:05,499 --> 00:06:08,469
Okay. This is from me.

140
00:06:09,136 --> 00:06:10,566
Your firstborn.

141
00:06:10,604 --> 00:06:12,174
I made you a mommy.

142
00:06:12,205 --> 00:06:15,035
Well, it's the thought
that counts.

143
00:06:15,075 --> 00:06:17,405
There it is.

144
00:06:17,445 --> 00:06:20,905
Joe, why don't you
take that outside for me?

145
00:06:20,948 --> 00:06:24,018
Oh, yes, this cactus
will love the snow.

146
00:06:24,051 --> 00:06:27,421
I'm gonna go see
how my new necklace looks.

147
00:06:28,456 --> 00:06:30,416
If this is what my son got me,

148
00:06:30,458 --> 00:06:32,888
I can't wait to see what
my husband gets me.

149
00:06:36,196 --> 00:06:37,866
What are you doing to me?

150
00:06:37,898 --> 00:06:40,168
What?

151
00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:41,940
You told me you were
getting her chocolates,

152
00:06:41,969 --> 00:06:43,539
so I got her flowers.

153
00:06:43,571 --> 00:06:45,741
Now the flowers are
just gonna sit in the trash

154
00:06:45,773 --> 00:06:47,743
with this-this blowfish
in a pot.

155
00:06:47,775 --> 00:06:49,905
I didn't mean
to ruin your day.

156
00:06:49,943 --> 00:06:51,483
I was just trying to ruin his.

157
00:06:51,512 --> 00:06:53,082
It's not ruined.

158
00:06:53,113 --> 00:06:55,453
Valentine's Day isn't over yet.

159
00:06:55,483 --> 00:06:58,153
The firstborn will rise again.

160
00:06:59,820 --> 00:07:02,160
Come on, Donny, let's head
to the Hallmark store

161
00:07:02,189 --> 00:07:05,459
and see if we can pull out
of this nosedive.

162
00:07:07,127 --> 00:07:09,697
Happy Valentine's Day!

163
00:07:09,730 --> 00:07:11,570
Yay.

164
00:07:15,168 --> 00:07:16,198
A book?

165
00:07:17,805 --> 00:07:20,435
Are you mad at us?

166
00:07:21,809 --> 00:07:23,209
Ah, we're just kidding.
Ah!

167
00:07:24,512 --> 00:07:26,212
Happy Valentine's Day.

168
00:07:26,246 --> 00:07:28,216
Oh, did you see
their faces?

169
00:07:28,248 --> 00:07:30,618
They thought they were
gonna have to read.
I know.

170
00:07:30,651 --> 00:07:32,221
Oh, wait.
Hold on, hold on, hold on.

171
00:07:32,252 --> 00:07:34,962
Valentine's Day
isn't over yet.

172
00:07:34,988 --> 00:07:36,618
It's time for
Daddy's gift.

173
00:07:36,657 --> 00:07:39,057
Daddy's gift?

174
00:07:40,594 --> 00:07:42,204
I thought Daddy
didn't get a gift.

175
00:07:42,229 --> 00:07:45,569
That's what Mommy said
and Daddy believed her.

176
00:07:50,170 --> 00:07:51,870
(sighs)

177
00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:57,178
Open it.

178
00:07:57,210 --> 00:07:59,750
(laughs)
I don't want to.

179
00:07:59,780 --> 00:08:02,550
No, go ahead.

180
00:08:05,553 --> 00:08:09,093
Uh, o-okay, b-but before I do,

181
00:08:09,122 --> 00:08:12,962
just to be clear,
as previously agreed upon,

182
00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:16,563
I... I didn't get you anything.

183
00:08:16,597 --> 00:08:19,097
Okay, sure.

184
00:08:21,702 --> 00:08:24,812
(sighs) Okay.

185
00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:27,008
I'm going in.

186
00:08:31,612 --> 00:08:34,622
(gasps, laughs)

187
00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:42,020
It's a table hockey game!

188
00:08:42,055 --> 00:08:43,215
Where's the screen?

189
00:08:46,660 --> 00:08:48,960
Does if have
Wi-Fi or...?

190
00:08:48,996 --> 00:08:52,996
It's just like the one I had
when I was a kid.

191
00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:54,303
I love it!

192
00:08:54,334 --> 00:08:55,304
Ah, good.

193
00:08:55,335 --> 00:08:57,765
I just had to show you
how much you mean to me.

194
00:08:57,805 --> 00:09:01,035
Oh. (sighs)

195
00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:07,578
(laughs)

196
00:09:15,823 --> 00:09:19,793
(laughs):
Okay. That's it.

197
00:09:19,827 --> 00:09:23,627
That was a great
Valentine's Day, yeah.

198
00:09:23,664 --> 00:09:25,734
But everything
is over now, so...

199
00:09:25,766 --> 00:09:27,296
Ah.

200
00:09:27,334 --> 00:09:29,074
(laughs):
Okay.

201
00:09:29,102 --> 00:09:31,202
Well, I guess I'll just
go to the kitchen,

202
00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:33,708
'cause everything's
over now.

203
00:09:34,808 --> 00:09:37,278
Okay.

204
00:09:37,310 --> 00:09:38,980
Here I go.

205
00:09:40,648 --> 00:09:43,318
Okay. Buh-bye.

206
00:09:45,986 --> 00:09:49,256
Okay, five bucks for anyone who
can tell me what just happened.

207
00:09:50,924 --> 00:09:52,234
He didn't give you
the necklace?

208
00:09:52,259 --> 00:09:54,359
No. It doesn't
make any sense.

209
00:09:54,394 --> 00:09:56,664
Unless he's got a girlfriend
who's also named Andi

210
00:09:56,697 --> 00:09:59,067
with three kids that look
a hell of a lot like ours.

211
00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:01,399
Oh, maybe the way
he's gonna give it to you

212
00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:02,974
is part of the surprise.

213
00:10:03,003 --> 00:10:04,673
Yeah, that's it, that's it.

214
00:10:04,705 --> 00:10:06,265
He-he invited his parents
over tonight.

215
00:10:06,306 --> 00:10:07,676
I bet they're gonna babysit

216
00:10:07,708 --> 00:10:09,678
while we go out
for a romantic dinner

217
00:10:09,710 --> 00:10:12,750
and then, instead of dessert,
it's the necklace.

218
00:10:12,780 --> 00:10:14,650
Yeah. If he hides it
in dessert, be careful.

219
00:10:14,682 --> 00:10:16,822
I still have a tennis bracelet
somewhere inside me.

220
00:10:21,188 --> 00:10:23,618
Whoa, break.
(stammers, groans)

221
00:10:27,995 --> 00:10:29,755
(groans)

222
00:10:31,865 --> 00:10:33,265
Wh-What are you guys doing here?

223
00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:35,270
I thought you were coming
for dinner. It's only 3:00.

224
00:10:35,302 --> 00:10:38,772
We came early to give people
time to admire my necklace.

225
00:10:39,807 --> 00:10:41,677
Where is everyone?

226
00:10:41,709 --> 00:10:43,109
Uh, uh, Andi's out
running errands,

227
00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:45,883
but she'll be back later,
you know, at dinnertime.

228
00:10:45,913 --> 00:10:48,453
Aw. She left you without snacks?

229
00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:49,881
Don't worry,

230
00:10:49,917 --> 00:10:52,117
Mama's here now. Mm.

231
00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:54,962
I'll fix grilled cheeses.

232
00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:57,688
Maybe next year,
you can buy her a golden spatula

233
00:10:57,725 --> 00:11:00,825
so she can make a grilled cheese
for her golden boy.

234
00:11:00,861 --> 00:11:03,301
Hey, listen,
speaking of gifts,

235
00:11:03,330 --> 00:11:06,100
Andi said she didn't want a
gift, so I didn't get her one.

236
00:11:06,133 --> 00:11:08,743
But then she got me one.
Should I be worried?

237
00:11:08,769 --> 00:11:11,739
You should be changing your name
and moving to Canada.

238
00:11:13,774 --> 00:11:16,884
I knew it was a trap!
Yeah.

239
00:11:16,910 --> 00:11:20,210
I fell for that "I don't need
a gift" trick back in '69,

240
00:11:20,247 --> 00:11:22,817
and I spent the next month
living on my boat.

241
00:11:22,850 --> 00:11:25,790
(sighs) Man,
Andi's gonna...

242
00:11:25,819 --> 00:11:28,459
Wait, we had a boat?

243
00:11:28,488 --> 00:11:31,788
We didn't have a boat;
I had a boat.

244
00:11:31,825 --> 00:11:35,295
O-Okay, okay, I got to run out
and find something for Andi.

245
00:11:35,328 --> 00:11:36,328
Hey, how was the Hallmark store?

246
00:11:36,363 --> 00:11:38,103
Oh, picked clean.
(sighs)

247
00:11:38,131 --> 00:11:39,831
I haven't seen men
fall apart like that

248
00:11:39,867 --> 00:11:41,867
since the first day
of basic training.

249
00:11:43,336 --> 00:11:45,936
Hey!
Hi, everybody!

250
00:11:45,973 --> 00:11:47,813
Why do people keep
showing up early?

251
00:11:47,841 --> 00:11:50,341
I wanted to give Mom
my new present,

252
00:11:50,377 --> 00:11:51,907
a pair of earrings.

253
00:11:51,945 --> 00:11:54,105
Earrings? I'm gonna have
to buy her mink underpants

254
00:11:54,147 --> 00:11:55,847
to keep up with you two.

255
00:11:57,517 --> 00:11:59,517
Two earrings beats
one necklace.

256
00:11:59,552 --> 00:12:01,192
That's math.

257
00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:03,491
Fine, fine.
I don't have time for this.

258
00:12:03,523 --> 00:12:05,263
I got to hit the mall.

259
00:12:05,292 --> 00:12:09,402
Apparently, to Andi,
"no gift" means "yes gift."

260
00:12:09,429 --> 00:12:11,769
Why can't you just give her
the gold necklace?

261
00:12:11,799 --> 00:12:13,399
What?

262
00:12:13,433 --> 00:12:15,243
What-what did you say?

263
00:12:15,268 --> 00:12:16,468
The-the necklace.

264
00:12:16,503 --> 00:12:18,913
The gold necklace
in the slow cooker.

265
00:12:24,912 --> 00:12:27,082
How do you know about that?

266
00:12:27,114 --> 00:12:29,224
Um, I was with Andi
when she found it.

267
00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:31,249
She found it?
Andi knows about the necklace?

268
00:12:32,219 --> 00:12:33,449
Too bad I sold the boat.

269
00:12:33,486 --> 00:12:35,786
Seems like you could
really use it now.

270
00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:40,791
We had some good times
on that boat, Pop.

271
00:12:50,570 --> 00:12:51,970
Are you telling me
Andi thinks

272
00:12:52,005 --> 00:12:53,465
I'm gonna surprise her
with the necklace

273
00:12:53,506 --> 00:12:55,536
at a romantic dinner?
She said no gifts.

274
00:12:55,575 --> 00:12:57,575
Why didn't you just give her
the necklace?

275
00:12:57,610 --> 00:12:59,050
She said no gifts.

276
00:13:01,148 --> 00:13:05,548
Keep saying that and we'll be
carving it on your tombstone.

277
00:13:05,585 --> 00:13:08,015
She's gonna be home any minute.

278
00:13:08,055 --> 00:13:11,555
If she sees that necklace
on my mom,

279
00:13:11,591 --> 00:13:13,431
You know, on the
upside, my cactus

280
00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:15,000
isn't looking so
shabby anymore.

281
00:13:16,463 --> 00:13:18,373
Great news, babe: I
got you some earrings.

282
00:13:18,398 --> 00:13:19,598
Aw!

283
00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:21,472
Okay, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.

284
00:13:21,501 --> 00:13:22,971
I might still be able
to save this.

285
00:13:23,003 --> 00:13:24,973
I just got to get the necklace
away from Mom,

286
00:13:25,005 --> 00:13:27,465
give it to Andi, and then
just buy another one for Mom.

287
00:13:27,507 --> 00:13:29,177
How you gonna do that
without Bev knowing?

288
00:13:29,209 --> 00:13:31,479
I don't know.
I mean, just look at her.

289
00:13:35,248 --> 00:13:38,018
I'm gonna need the Jaws of Life
to pry it out of her hands.

290
00:13:39,887 --> 00:13:40,887
Just tell her the truth.

291
00:13:40,921 --> 00:13:42,621
You bought it for Andi
and she has to give it back.

292
00:13:42,655 --> 00:13:44,615
Yeah, do that.
It's too late for you.

293
00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:46,257
Save me!

294
00:13:49,596 --> 00:13:50,896
Oh, hi, Don!

295
00:13:50,931 --> 00:13:51,901
Marcy.

296
00:13:51,932 --> 00:13:55,002
Um, okay, who's hungry?

297
00:13:55,035 --> 00:13:57,395
Oh, forgot napkins.
Uh, wait, Ma...

298
00:13:57,437 --> 00:13:59,637
No, no, no. Don't start
until I get my grilled cheese.

299
00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:02,512
When she gets mad,
she throws food in the trash.

300
00:14:04,644 --> 00:14:06,614
Here we go.

301
00:14:06,646 --> 00:14:08,976
Uh, s-so, Ma,

302
00:14:09,016 --> 00:14:10,946
hey, you know what
I was thinking?

303
00:14:10,984 --> 00:14:13,054
I should have your
necklace engraved.

304
00:14:13,086 --> 00:14:14,616
You know, make it
more personal.

305
00:14:14,654 --> 00:14:16,624
Yeah. Give it to me now.

306
00:14:16,656 --> 00:14:18,586
It's already personal;

307
00:14:18,625 --> 00:14:20,925
it's got pictures
of my grandkids on it.

308
00:14:20,961 --> 00:14:22,601
Oh...

309
00:14:22,629 --> 00:14:24,259
(chuckles nervously)

310
00:14:24,297 --> 00:14:26,627
The truth is...

311
00:14:26,666 --> 00:14:30,266
I bought it from a
gypsy; it's fake gold.

312
00:14:30,303 --> 00:14:31,603
BEV:
What?

313
00:14:31,638 --> 00:14:33,168
And I don't want
that fake gold

314
00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:35,436
giving you a nasty rash,
so cough it up.

315
00:14:35,475 --> 00:14:37,105
Mm. No!

316
00:14:37,144 --> 00:14:39,314
If people ask,
I'll just tell 'em

317
00:14:39,346 --> 00:14:42,376
I got the nasty rash
from my loving son.

318
00:14:48,655 --> 00:14:50,415
You might want
to mention

319
00:14:50,457 --> 00:14:52,457
the necklace in there
somewhere, too.

320
00:14:54,694 --> 00:14:55,664
Andi!

321
00:14:55,695 --> 00:14:57,155
Hi, honey. Oh.

322
00:14:57,197 --> 00:14:58,627
Your parents
are already here, huh?

323
00:14:58,665 --> 00:15:00,165
(chuckles):
Yeah.

324
00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:02,500
So, we going out or something?

325
00:15:02,535 --> 00:15:05,005
Should I go upstairs and change?

326
00:15:05,038 --> 00:15:06,638
Yeah, yeah. Maybe
go change, yeah.

327
00:15:06,673 --> 00:15:08,943
And-and take your time.
And if you get tired,

328
00:15:08,976 --> 00:15:11,946
just go to bed. I'll
see you in the morning.

329
00:15:11,979 --> 00:15:14,549
Andi, come look
at my present.

330
00:15:14,581 --> 00:15:15,721
No, no, no, no!

331
00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:18,188
Uh, no, no, no! Okay.
Whoa!

332
00:15:18,218 --> 00:15:20,088
Yeah. You look...
Wait, Adam, what
are you doing?!

333
00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:21,650
Well, you look...
you look so cold.

334
00:15:21,688 --> 00:15:24,618
Okay, there you go!

335
00:15:24,657 --> 00:15:26,427
Hey, Andi, you know,
you know what I was thinking?

336
00:15:26,459 --> 00:15:28,129
Since it's
Valentine's Day,

337
00:15:28,161 --> 00:15:30,961
we should only look
at each other. Huh?

338
00:15:34,001 --> 00:15:36,101
Adam, honey, you don't have
to play this game, all right?

339
00:15:36,136 --> 00:15:37,566
I know something's coming.

340
00:15:37,604 --> 00:15:38,714
Something's coming,
all right.

341
00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:42,543
Aw! Is Adam gonna
surprise you, too, Andi?

342
00:15:42,575 --> 00:15:43,975
Look at me, look at me,
look at me.

343
00:15:44,011 --> 00:15:45,281
Remember, I
gave you three

344
00:15:45,312 --> 00:15:46,412
beautiful children.

345
00:15:52,319 --> 00:15:55,089
Um, Bev, a-are you wearing
a-a gold necklace

346
00:15:55,122 --> 00:15:57,092
with pictures
of the kids on it?

347
00:15:57,124 --> 00:15:59,764
It was a gift from
your sweet husband.

348
00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:01,192
Isn't that thoughtful?

349
00:16:06,066 --> 00:16:08,196
I have some thoughts.

350
00:16:10,703 --> 00:16:13,173
Can I tell you my thoughts
in the kitchen?

351
00:16:15,575 --> 00:16:17,175
You stay right here.

352
00:16:20,380 --> 00:16:22,220
What a nice way to
spend Valentine's Day:

353
00:16:22,249 --> 00:16:23,379
dinner and a show.

354
00:16:25,552 --> 00:16:29,062
Why is your mother
wearing the necklace

355
00:16:29,089 --> 00:16:31,619
I secretly know
you bought for me?

356
00:16:32,725 --> 00:16:34,685
Okay, yeah,
I bought it for you,

357
00:16:34,727 --> 00:16:36,757
but then you said
you didn't want a gift.

358
00:16:36,796 --> 00:16:40,026
So I figured it'd be okay
to give it to my mom instead.

359
00:16:40,067 --> 00:16:40,767
What?!
(yelps)

360
00:16:43,103 --> 00:16:45,713
My necklace wasn't bought
specially for me?

361
00:16:45,738 --> 00:16:47,368
It was!

362
00:16:47,407 --> 00:16:49,237
In a sense.

363
00:16:49,276 --> 00:16:50,706
Yeah.

364
00:16:50,743 --> 00:16:54,713
In-in the sense
that I bought it for her.

365
00:16:54,747 --> 00:16:59,117
B-But the sign in the shop
said "perfect for any woman."

366
00:17:00,153 --> 00:17:01,553
So I'm just any woman?

367
00:17:01,588 --> 00:17:03,618
No! No... (sighs)

368
00:17:03,656 --> 00:17:06,526
If I'm not looking at you,
I'm not talking to you.

369
00:17:06,559 --> 00:17:08,299
Okay?

370
00:17:09,696 --> 00:17:12,426
Come on, Andi, you know
how my mom is about gifts.

371
00:17:12,465 --> 00:17:13,825
How am I about gifts?

372
00:17:13,866 --> 00:17:15,666
You're great at gifts.

373
00:17:15,702 --> 00:17:17,802
Yeah, you're the most
appreciative woman I know.

374
00:17:17,837 --> 00:17:19,767
So I'm not
appreciative?

375
00:17:19,806 --> 00:17:21,066
Can I talk to you alone?!

376
00:17:21,108 --> 00:17:22,538
No!
No!
Oh!

377
00:17:22,575 --> 00:17:24,775
Okay. (stammers)
Don't be so hard on the boy.

378
00:17:24,811 --> 00:17:26,811
Bev, you are gonna be
so cheered up

379
00:17:26,846 --> 00:17:28,716
when you see
the flowers I got you.

380
00:17:28,748 --> 00:17:31,078
With a beautiful blank card

381
00:17:31,118 --> 00:17:34,188
where you can write
anything your heart desires.

382
00:17:38,225 --> 00:17:42,325
If this wasn't bought
for me, I don't want it.

383
00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:45,196
(sighs)

384
00:17:52,705 --> 00:17:55,775
Don't do it.
No, no, no, no, no, no.

385
00:17:57,510 --> 00:17:59,880
Happy Valentine's Day?

386
00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:02,122
Oh!
Good grief.
He did it.

387
00:18:02,149 --> 00:18:04,579
You know what?

388
00:18:04,617 --> 00:18:06,587
I'll take it.

389
00:18:06,619 --> 00:18:09,119
Whoa!
Curveball.
I did not see that coming.

390
00:18:10,157 --> 00:18:12,157
You will? Really?

391
00:18:12,192 --> 00:18:15,802
Really. I mean, I
did say no gifts.

392
00:18:15,828 --> 00:18:17,828
But you bought
this for me.

393
00:18:17,864 --> 00:18:21,774
And it's incredibly
thoughtful, and I love it.

394
00:18:23,170 --> 00:18:26,570
Wow. Where did
he find her?

395
00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:28,236
It's beautiful.

396
00:18:28,275 --> 00:18:29,775
Aw.
Mm.

397
00:18:29,809 --> 00:18:32,249
I don't want to ruin it for you,
honey, but...

398
00:18:32,279 --> 00:18:35,179
it's fake gold.

399
00:18:35,215 --> 00:18:36,415
No, no.

400
00:18:36,449 --> 00:18:38,689
I just said that
when you had it.

401
00:18:38,718 --> 00:18:41,188
It's real.

402
00:18:42,189 --> 00:18:44,459
That's interesting.

403
00:19:04,244 --> 00:19:08,584
I pocketed one
when things started to go south.

404
00:19:14,787 --> 00:19:16,787
(gasps dramatically)
(gasps)

405
00:19:17,790 --> 00:19:20,230
What's this?

406
00:19:20,260 --> 00:19:22,230
Well, I wanted you to get
a full bag of valentines,

407
00:19:22,262 --> 00:19:25,602
because you deserve to know
that you're nice and foxy.

408
00:19:25,632 --> 00:19:28,242
Aw, that's so sweet.

409
00:19:28,268 --> 00:19:30,268
And I just want
to thank you for being...

410
00:19:30,303 --> 00:19:32,443
"turtle-y awesome"

411
00:19:32,472 --> 00:19:34,912
and "otter-ly adorable."

412
00:19:34,941 --> 00:19:36,911
Aw. (giggles)
(chuckles)

413
00:19:39,812 --> 00:19:42,922
"Roses are red, I
want you in my bed."

414
00:19:42,949 --> 00:19:45,389
There's a few originals
in there.

415
00:19:45,418 --> 00:19:47,418
Really?
Mm-hmm.

416
00:19:48,421 --> 00:19:50,221
"Violets are blue,

417
00:19:50,257 --> 00:19:52,757
or not on the bed--
it's up to you."

418
00:19:52,792 --> 00:19:55,962
So what I'm saying there
is I'm up for anything.

419
00:19:55,995 --> 00:19:57,955
(chuckles)
Okay.

420
00:19:57,997 --> 00:20:01,597
"Love is the highest power,
let's do it in the shower."

421
00:20:01,634 --> 00:20:03,274
Adam.

422
00:20:03,303 --> 00:20:05,773
The lower you go,
the dirtier they get.

423
00:20:05,805 --> 00:20:07,335
(chuckles)

424
00:20:07,374 --> 00:20:08,884
(chuckles):
Yeah.

425
00:20:17,016 --> 00:20:20,016
Well, this is just to say
I'm sorry.

426
00:20:20,052 --> 00:20:22,322
Oh, Adam.

427
00:20:22,355 --> 00:20:25,525
This is so overwhelming.

428
00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:26,988
Oh!
(chuckles)

429
00:20:27,026 --> 00:20:28,826
This must have
cost you a fortune.

430
00:20:28,861 --> 00:20:31,831
Ah, you can't put a price
on that smile.

431
00:20:31,864 --> 00:20:33,534
And yet somehow you did.

432
00:20:34,801 --> 00:20:37,271
I like the
balloons, too.

433
00:20:37,304 --> 00:20:39,414
They look really
good with my cactus.

434
00:20:39,439 --> 00:20:40,839
Oh, shoot. Darn it. Ooh.

435
00:20:40,873 --> 00:20:42,283
Oh!
There goes another one.

436
00:20:43,343 --> 00:20:45,913
Oh! How clumsy of me! Oh!

437
00:20:47,780 --> 00:20:50,550
I told you the firstborn
would rise again.

438
00:20:50,583 --> 00:20:52,423
Captioning sponsored by
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439
00:20:57,056 --> 00:20:59,256
Captioned by
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