1
00:00:02,436 --> 00:00:03,736
Go, go, go. Oh!
You see that?

2
00:00:03,771 --> 00:00:05,441
We just took the lead!

3
00:00:05,473 --> 00:00:07,443
Hey, Dad, do you think
I could pull off these boots?

4
00:00:07,475 --> 00:00:09,505
Honey, I got 20 bucks
riding on this game.

5
00:00:09,543 --> 00:00:12,553
I-I'll pull your boots
off at halftime, okay?

6
00:00:12,580 --> 00:00:15,480
I don't know about that new
paint color in your bathroom.

7
00:00:15,516 --> 00:00:17,486
I know, Joy;
it's way too yellow.

8
00:00:17,518 --> 00:00:19,748
This morning, I thought
I was peeing on the sun.

9
00:00:19,787 --> 00:00:23,417
It's so bright, I could see it
from my bedroom window.

10
00:00:23,457 --> 00:00:27,697
Yeah, well, that's why
I asked Adam to repaint it.

11
00:00:27,728 --> 00:00:29,498
He turned a shade of red

12
00:00:29,530 --> 00:00:32,130
that I think would actually
look nice in the bathroom.

13
00:00:32,166 --> 00:00:33,826
Hmm. Mm-hmm.

14
00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:35,337
Husbands love redoing

15
00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:37,209
what they didn't want to do
in the first place.

16
00:00:37,238 --> 00:00:40,468
Yeah, we disagreed,
but then we sat down,

17
00:00:40,508 --> 00:00:41,778
had a discussion,
and he's repainting.

18
00:00:41,809 --> 00:00:43,239
Ah.
Yeah.

19
00:00:43,277 --> 00:00:46,147
Made him some nachos
to ease the blow.

20
00:00:46,180 --> 00:00:51,090
See, the angry part of his brain
is smaller than the nacho part.

21
00:00:51,119 --> 00:00:53,319
All right, I'll tell you what,
I'll buy you the boots

22
00:00:53,354 --> 00:00:54,864
if you help me repaint
the stupid bathroom--

23
00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:56,418
Ooh, nachos.

24
00:00:56,457 --> 00:00:58,657
Well, you deserve 'em, honey.

25
00:00:58,692 --> 00:01:00,632
And the cheese is
the color of the bathroom,

26
00:01:00,661 --> 00:01:02,401
so you won't forget
to repaint it.

27
00:01:02,430 --> 00:01:04,770
(knock on door)

28
00:01:06,634 --> 00:01:08,574
Howdy!
(toy horn squeaks)

29
00:01:08,602 --> 00:01:10,602
I'm Baggy Britches,
and I have a message.

30
00:01:10,638 --> 00:01:11,608
Are you Kate Burns?

31
00:01:11,639 --> 00:01:13,269
No! No! Say no! Say no!

32
00:01:13,307 --> 00:01:15,707
What is wrong
with your husband?

33
00:01:15,743 --> 00:01:17,813
Don't look at his flower.
That's how they get you.

34
00:01:17,845 --> 00:01:20,575
Adam has a fear of clowns.

35
00:01:20,614 --> 00:01:22,284
It's not a fear, okay?

36
00:01:22,316 --> 00:01:24,686
It's a natural instinct
that's kept me alive thus far.

37
00:01:24,718 --> 00:01:29,258
Then why are you using your
daughter as a human shield?

38
00:01:29,290 --> 00:01:30,490
Because you're
too far away.

39
00:01:31,625 --> 00:01:33,225
Murder her;
I barely know her.

40
00:01:33,261 --> 00:01:34,301
(toy horn squeaks)

41
00:01:34,328 --> 00:01:36,828
* I've been sent over here
in my baggy pants *

42
00:01:36,864 --> 00:01:38,804
* 'Cause Danny Phillips
wants to ask Kate *

43
00:01:38,832 --> 00:01:40,832
* To the Spring Formal Dance.

44
00:01:40,868 --> 00:01:43,638
Seriously? The Spring Formal?

45
00:01:43,671 --> 00:01:45,541
(laughs):
Oh, my God! Mom!

46
00:01:45,573 --> 00:01:47,643
Hey, you want to see some magic?

47
00:01:47,675 --> 00:01:49,405
No, no, no!

48
00:01:50,244 --> 00:01:51,684
Get out! Get out!
(shoe squeaking)

49
00:01:51,712 --> 00:01:53,652
Get out, get out, get out!

50
00:01:53,681 --> 00:01:55,351
(panting)

51
00:01:55,383 --> 00:01:57,223
That was close.

52
00:01:57,251 --> 00:01:59,721
Kate, the Spring Formal.
That's huge!

53
00:01:59,753 --> 00:02:01,193
I know.
I can't believe it.

54
00:02:01,222 --> 00:02:02,462
He's still out there.

55
00:02:02,490 --> 00:02:04,860
Oh, oh! I'm gonna
turn the sprinklers on.

56
00:02:04,892 --> 00:02:07,332
It'll wash off his makeup,
then he'll be powerless.

57
00:02:08,796 --> 00:02:10,526
ANDI:
I couldn't be happier for Kate.

58
00:02:10,564 --> 00:02:12,474
I mean, hardly
any freshman girls

59
00:02:12,500 --> 00:02:14,400
get asked to the
senior dance.

60
00:02:14,435 --> 00:02:17,405
Hold on. The guy
that asked her is a senior?

61
00:02:17,438 --> 00:02:20,538
All right, don't get
all Adam on this.

62
00:02:20,574 --> 00:02:22,344
I'm Adam.

63
00:02:23,511 --> 00:02:25,811
That's the only way I get.

64
00:02:25,846 --> 00:02:27,546
Look, it doesn't mean
they're dating.

65
00:02:27,581 --> 00:02:28,881
It's just one dance.

66
00:02:28,916 --> 00:02:31,286
One dance is enough.

67
00:02:31,319 --> 00:02:34,789
That's where you do all the
laying down things standing up.

68
00:02:34,822 --> 00:02:37,292
Yeah, I know. I remember
from our wedding night.

69
00:02:37,325 --> 00:02:38,825
It was like you had six hands.

70
00:02:38,859 --> 00:02:41,459
Andi, any senior
that asks out a freshman

71
00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:43,425
has something wrong with him.

72
00:02:43,464 --> 00:02:46,204
Okay, he's the kind of guy
who ends up dressed as a clown,

73
00:02:46,234 --> 00:02:48,944
terrorizing honest citizens.

74
00:02:48,969 --> 00:02:52,409
For all we know, that was him.

75
00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:55,910
Boy, you get lost in one
fun house, it ruins your life.

76
00:02:55,943 --> 00:02:59,353
(scoffs) Fun house.

77
00:02:59,380 --> 00:03:02,550
Never has a place been
more incorrectly named.

78
00:03:02,583 --> 00:03:05,493
She is not going to that dance,
and that's the end of it.

79
00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:10,459
Okay, well, let's sit down
and discuss it.

80
00:03:10,491 --> 00:03:13,891
And after, we can have nachos.

81
00:03:13,927 --> 00:03:14,897
(murmurs happily)

82
00:03:14,928 --> 00:03:16,428
No, no, no, no, no.

83
00:03:16,464 --> 00:03:18,934
No. I'm not going
to the chairs with you.

84
00:03:18,966 --> 00:03:21,436
Every time we sit down
and discuss, I lose.

85
00:03:21,469 --> 00:03:25,269
I don't know what you're
talking about, but I'd like to.

86
00:03:25,306 --> 00:03:27,236
Hey, let's have a seat,

87
00:03:27,275 --> 00:03:29,475
talk it out.

88
00:03:34,415 --> 00:03:36,445
Not this time, sunshine.

89
00:03:36,484 --> 00:03:38,294
This time, I'm gonna prep.

90
00:03:38,319 --> 00:03:40,519
I'm going to the blackboard,
drawing some X's and O's,

91
00:03:40,554 --> 00:03:42,464
and getting some plays ready.

92
00:03:42,490 --> 00:03:45,330
Yeah, well, that makes sense.
Yeah.

93
00:03:45,359 --> 00:03:47,559
You want to run
any of these plays by me?

94
00:03:47,595 --> 00:03:51,365
Well, for starters, Katie's--
Oh, you're good.

95
00:03:52,533 --> 00:03:54,033
I'm onto you now, though.

96
00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:56,797
I'm never sitting down
in here again.

97
00:03:58,839 --> 00:04:00,839
*

98
00:04:10,518 --> 00:04:12,318
I just don't think
Katie should date a senior.

99
00:04:12,353 --> 00:04:13,823
But I'm oh for a thousand
with Andi

100
00:04:13,854 --> 00:04:15,624
when we sit down
and have these discussions.

101
00:04:15,656 --> 00:04:17,056
I'm like that team that plays
the Harlem Globetrotters.

102
00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:18,330
I'm trying to make a point,

103
00:04:18,359 --> 00:04:21,999
and she's running circles around
me, bouncing balls off my head.

104
00:04:22,029 --> 00:04:24,629
Our problem is wives have
more stamina than us.

105
00:04:24,665 --> 00:04:27,595
We'd rather lose
than listen.

106
00:04:27,635 --> 00:04:29,965
And even if you win a point,
they keep coming at you,

107
00:04:30,003 --> 00:04:31,843
like waves at the beach.

108
00:04:31,872 --> 00:04:33,942
Blah-blah-blah,
blah-blah-blah.

109
00:04:33,974 --> 00:04:37,414
Mostly my marriage
is fifty-fifty,

110
00:04:37,445 --> 00:04:40,075
but when we have
a difference of opinion, I lose

111
00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:42,423
because I go with my gut
and Andi goes with logic.

112
00:04:42,450 --> 00:04:44,950
She can make a good argument
for any bad idea.

113
00:04:44,985 --> 00:04:48,985
If you really want to win, I
know a trick from the old days.

114
00:04:49,022 --> 00:04:51,992
It's called
silent negotiation.

115
00:04:52,025 --> 00:04:53,655
I've heard of that.

116
00:04:53,694 --> 00:04:56,764
You let her talk first, but
then you don't say a word.

117
00:04:56,797 --> 00:04:58,927
You just stare at her
and wait her out.

118
00:04:58,966 --> 00:05:01,666
She'll start talking in
circles, doubting herself.

119
00:05:01,702 --> 00:05:05,072
Eventually she'll break down
like a Chinese Rolex.

120
00:05:05,105 --> 00:05:06,865
Like the one you gave me
for Christmas?

121
00:05:06,907 --> 00:05:08,677
I went to see what time it was,

122
00:05:08,709 --> 00:05:10,879
and all the numbers
just fell to the bottom.

123
00:05:10,911 --> 00:05:13,781
I told you not to let
the sun hit it!

124
00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:15,784
I don't want Katie
to go to the dance,

125
00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:18,346
but this silent negotiation,
that's never gonna work.

126
00:05:18,386 --> 00:05:20,446
I'm right about this.

127
00:05:20,488 --> 00:05:22,018
My grandfather said "I do,"

128
00:05:22,055 --> 00:05:24,955
then he didn't speak
to his wife again for 40 years.

129
00:05:24,992 --> 00:05:26,632
He got everything he wanted.

130
00:05:28,796 --> 00:05:30,096
Here, I'll do it on Don.

131
00:05:30,130 --> 00:05:31,630
Hey, fellas.
Hey.

132
00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:33,425
Hey, Donny,

133
00:05:33,467 --> 00:05:37,807
I need you to take your mother
to the fabric store tonight.

134
00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:40,368
Sorry, Pop,
but we've been over this.

135
00:05:40,408 --> 00:05:43,378
It's not my responsibility
to run Mom around town.

136
00:05:47,114 --> 00:05:50,824
I'm her son, not her husband.
I have my own life.

137
00:05:55,155 --> 00:05:58,785
Come on, Pop, the fabric store?

138
00:06:01,562 --> 00:06:04,902
Although, Mom is getting older.

139
00:06:06,033 --> 00:06:08,103
Fine, I'll pick her up at 7:00.

140
00:06:08,135 --> 00:06:10,465
And that's how
you do that.

141
00:06:10,504 --> 00:06:12,114
Wow, look at him.

142
00:06:13,774 --> 00:06:15,584
He's still trying
to figure out what happened,

143
00:06:15,609 --> 00:06:19,009
like a bird
that flew into a window.

144
00:06:19,046 --> 00:06:21,416
Hello, darling.

145
00:06:21,449 --> 00:06:23,749
I'm ready to

146
00:06:23,784 --> 00:06:27,094
sit down and discuss
this whole...

147
00:06:28,689 --> 00:06:30,119
...Katie situation.

148
00:06:30,157 --> 00:06:32,757
Okay. I was born to discuss.

149
00:06:34,795 --> 00:06:37,665
You should know, I don't
have any nacho stuff.

150
00:06:37,698 --> 00:06:41,068
I'll take my chances.
(clears throat)

151
00:06:41,101 --> 00:06:42,901
Ladies first.

152
00:06:42,936 --> 00:06:45,666
Okay, here's how I see it.
Okay, Kate is very mature.

153
00:06:45,706 --> 00:06:47,166
I mean, you've said
that yourself,

154
00:06:47,207 --> 00:06:51,077
so you're kind of arguing
against yourself here.

155
00:06:53,213 --> 00:06:58,123
And... and the school
has chaperones

156
00:06:58,151 --> 00:07:00,821
watching the entire time,

157
00:07:00,854 --> 00:07:03,094
thus removing
any potential for danger.

158
00:07:03,123 --> 00:07:05,463
Boom. Game, set, match.

159
00:07:05,493 --> 00:07:07,703
Hit the showers, kid! Ha!

160
00:07:11,031 --> 00:07:14,231
It's a school sanctioned event,
Adam.

161
00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:16,697
I mean, nothing will go wrong.

162
00:07:16,737 --> 00:07:19,137
She's gonna be surrounded
by adults all night.

163
00:07:24,144 --> 00:07:25,984
Except in the car.

164
00:07:27,180 --> 00:07:29,820
Which is where boys get handsy.

165
00:07:31,519 --> 00:07:34,149
And she's gonna be hanging out
with Danny's friends.

166
00:07:34,187 --> 00:07:36,817
And older kids
sneak alcohol into dances.

167
00:07:36,857 --> 00:07:39,487
You know what? You're right.
She shouldn't go to this thing.

168
00:07:39,527 --> 00:07:43,057
It's a bad idea.

169
00:07:43,096 --> 00:07:45,696
So we've reached an agreement?

170
00:07:48,702 --> 00:07:50,172
I guess so, yeah.

171
00:07:58,579 --> 00:08:00,909
Well, thanks for hearing me out.

172
00:08:09,923 --> 00:08:11,633
I've heard stories of
women losing arguments

173
00:08:11,659 --> 00:08:13,229
to their husbands;
I just never thought

174
00:08:13,260 --> 00:08:15,630
it'd happen to
someone I knew.

175
00:08:15,663 --> 00:08:18,273
What did he say
that was so convincing?

176
00:08:18,298 --> 00:08:21,538
Well, (sighs) he made
a lot of good points.

177
00:08:22,636 --> 00:08:24,736
He said...

178
00:08:24,772 --> 00:08:26,572
No, no, I said that.

179
00:08:26,607 --> 00:08:28,677
But he did say that...

180
00:08:28,709 --> 00:08:31,649
No, I said that, too.

181
00:08:31,679 --> 00:08:36,079
Wait, come to think of it,
he didn't say anything.

182
00:08:36,116 --> 00:08:38,786
Oh. He played the quiet game.

183
00:08:38,819 --> 00:08:39,849
What?

184
00:08:39,887 --> 00:08:40,917
It's a trick.

185
00:08:40,954 --> 00:08:42,094
That's how I got engaged.

186
00:08:42,122 --> 00:08:45,162
Rudy just wanted to shack up,
so I kept my mouth shut

187
00:08:45,192 --> 00:08:48,862
until he came back with a ring,
and then a better ring.

188
00:08:48,896 --> 00:08:50,656
So Adam played dirty.

189
00:08:50,698 --> 00:08:52,328
(scoffs)
I knew I wasn't wrong.

190
00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:54,295
Kate should go to the dance.

191
00:08:54,334 --> 00:08:56,304
First of all,
you're never wrong.

192
00:08:56,336 --> 00:08:59,166
And even if you're wrong, you're
still more right than him.

193
00:08:59,206 --> 00:09:01,936
Yeah, well,
I can play dirty, too.

194
00:09:01,975 --> 00:09:04,005
Oh-ho-ho, just you watch.

195
00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:06,014
How do I play dirty?

196
00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:08,246
Well, he wanted to make
this decision, right?

197
00:09:08,281 --> 00:09:11,321
I say pile it on,
make him pick everything.

198
00:09:11,351 --> 00:09:13,121
Like the new color
for the bathroom.

199
00:09:13,153 --> 00:09:14,123
Oh, I can't let him do that.

200
00:09:14,154 --> 00:09:16,364
He'll just paint
a Van Halen logo on the wall.

201
00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:19,129
It won't even get that far.
Men hate these decisions.

202
00:09:19,159 --> 00:09:21,629
What color, how many,
thread count.

203
00:09:21,662 --> 00:09:23,102
(gasps) Thread count.

204
00:09:23,130 --> 00:09:25,330
He doesn't even know
what that is.

205
00:09:25,365 --> 00:09:26,965
It'll drive him so crazy,

206
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:29,970
he'll eventually fold
on everything, including Kate.

207
00:09:30,003 --> 00:09:32,813
And victory will be mine.

208
00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:35,710
I mean, you know, we'll be doing
the right thing for Kate,

209
00:09:35,743 --> 00:09:37,753
and that's what's important.

210
00:09:39,847 --> 00:09:43,377
It was beautiful, Don.
I said nothing and she caved.

211
00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:45,386
I wish I was
wearing a body cam,

212
00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:48,218
'cause that's a movie I would
watch every year on my birthday.

213
00:09:48,255 --> 00:09:49,255
(chuckles)

214
00:09:49,289 --> 00:09:50,819
We should celebrate this win

215
00:09:50,858 --> 00:09:52,288
by going fishing this weekend.

216
00:09:52,325 --> 00:09:53,985
Ah, not so fast.

217
00:09:54,027 --> 00:09:56,627
That silent negotiation,
that's bad voodoo.

218
00:09:58,165 --> 00:09:59,995
I spent hours with Mom
at that fabric store.

219
00:10:00,033 --> 00:10:02,073
Do you know how many kinds
of corduroy there are?

220
00:10:02,102 --> 00:10:05,842
There's wide wale, pinwale,
pincord, needlecord.

221
00:10:05,873 --> 00:10:07,683
I'm never gonna
be the same.

222
00:10:07,708 --> 00:10:10,908
Oh, here comes Katie.
Hey, Katie.

223
00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:15,154
Oh! So, the man who won't let me
go to the dance says hey.

224
00:10:15,182 --> 00:10:17,692
Hi, Uncle Don, and nobody else.

225
00:10:17,718 --> 00:10:19,418
Hi, Katie.

226
00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:22,022
I like your
needlecord pants.

227
00:10:22,990 --> 00:10:24,960
Thanks, Uncle Don,
and nobody else.

228
00:10:27,227 --> 00:10:29,197
You see how mad she is?

229
00:10:29,229 --> 00:10:31,399
That's how you know I won.

230
00:10:31,431 --> 00:10:33,301
Oh, it's not over yet.

231
00:10:33,333 --> 00:10:35,103
When you mess with
Mother Nature,

232
00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:37,035
there's always
unintended consequences.

233
00:10:37,070 --> 00:10:40,710
This is Jurassic Park stuff
you're screwing around with.

234
00:10:40,741 --> 00:10:43,141
You just don't
understand winning.

235
00:10:43,176 --> 00:10:46,176
It's so unfamiliar,
it scares you.

236
00:10:46,213 --> 00:10:48,053
Hey, babe. Listen, uh,

237
00:10:48,081 --> 00:10:50,451
Don and I were thinking about
going fishing this weekend.

238
00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:52,953
Actually, I was hoping that
you'd go to the paint store

239
00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:54,416
and choose a new color
for the bathroom.

240
00:10:54,454 --> 00:10:56,994
What? Why me?

241
00:10:57,024 --> 00:11:00,034
Well, you know,
you were so right about Kate,

242
00:11:00,060 --> 00:11:03,230
I realized you should be making
more decisions around here.

243
00:11:03,263 --> 00:11:06,203
No, I shouldn't. What?

244
00:11:06,233 --> 00:11:09,873
T. rex is out
of the pen.

245
00:11:09,903 --> 00:11:12,213
Also, um, look through
these brochures

246
00:11:12,239 --> 00:11:14,439
and choose a summer camp
for the kids.

247
00:11:14,474 --> 00:11:18,484
But I was gonna watch TV.
This stuff is your thing.

248
00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:22,081
Well, now I'm gonna watch TV.
It's my new thing.

249
00:11:23,851 --> 00:11:25,421
Oh, I almost forgot.

250
00:11:25,452 --> 00:11:29,192
Um, can you pick us out
a new bed skirt? Great, thanks.

251
00:11:31,925 --> 00:11:34,285
A bed skirt?

252
00:11:34,327 --> 00:11:37,427
What the hell is a bed skirt?

253
00:11:37,464 --> 00:11:40,704
I think we know who wears
the bed skirt in this family.

254
00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:50,180
Look at all this.
I got to choose paint colors,

255
00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:52,450
summer camps,
some made up thing

256
00:11:52,479 --> 00:11:54,279
called a bed skirt.

257
00:11:54,314 --> 00:11:56,184
What the hell happened?

258
00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:57,276
You messed with nature.

259
00:11:57,317 --> 00:11:59,787
Now you got dinosaurs
running all over the island.

260
00:11:59,820 --> 00:12:02,960
Yeah, I screwed up the whole
balance of our marriage.

261
00:12:02,990 --> 00:12:06,260
Before this, she made
a billion decisions without me.

262
00:12:06,293 --> 00:12:08,433
And I was happy because
I didn't have to chime in,

263
00:12:08,461 --> 00:12:11,131
and she was happy because
she got to decide stuff

264
00:12:11,164 --> 00:12:12,874
without some chump chiming in.

265
00:12:12,900 --> 00:12:15,140
Amen, brother.

266
00:12:15,168 --> 00:12:17,498
I haven't chimed in since 1989.

267
00:12:17,537 --> 00:12:20,267
I bought parachute pants.
(exhales) Learned my lesson.

268
00:12:20,307 --> 00:12:23,477
Yeah, like I get up
early on Saturdays

269
00:12:23,510 --> 00:12:25,880
to close the drapes
so we can sleep in.

270
00:12:25,913 --> 00:12:28,183
But the drapes are there
because she picked them.

271
00:12:28,215 --> 00:12:30,515
She never asked my opinion,
because I don't have one.

272
00:12:30,550 --> 00:12:31,890
In fact,

273
00:12:31,919 --> 00:12:34,189
gun to my head,
what color are the drapes?

274
00:12:34,221 --> 00:12:35,891
No idea.

275
00:12:35,923 --> 00:12:38,533
But now your opinion's
being respected.

276
00:12:38,558 --> 00:12:40,358
Yeah, and I don't like it.

277
00:12:40,393 --> 00:12:43,363
And all because
I won one discussion.

278
00:12:43,396 --> 00:12:45,796
So, then maybe you need
to have another discussion

279
00:12:45,833 --> 00:12:47,533
and lose that one.

280
00:12:47,567 --> 00:12:50,297
That'll put you back
on the bottom, where you belong.

281
00:12:50,337 --> 00:12:54,167
Ooh, that's not a bad idea.

282
00:12:54,207 --> 00:12:56,537
Yeah. Hey, you want me
to lose a fight?

283
00:12:56,576 --> 00:12:59,246
I'll lose a fight.
This guy's going down.

284
00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:01,409
Now you sound like
a real husband.

285
00:13:02,482 --> 00:13:04,822
I don't think
this is working.

286
00:13:04,852 --> 00:13:06,392
I mean, Adam hasn't
run back in here

287
00:13:06,419 --> 00:13:08,489
telling me that Kate
should go to the dance.

288
00:13:08,521 --> 00:13:10,521
You promised me
total domination.

289
00:13:10,557 --> 00:13:13,557
Just make sure you lose
the next discussion with Adam,

290
00:13:13,593 --> 00:13:16,563
whatever it is, so you can keep
loading him up with decisions.

291
00:13:16,596 --> 00:13:20,396
Okay, but if I end up with
a Van Halen logo on my wall,

292
00:13:20,433 --> 00:13:22,343
you're painting over it.

293
00:13:22,369 --> 00:13:24,839
Okay, Joy just left.
It's time.

294
00:13:24,872 --> 00:13:26,572
Okay, champ, you ready
to lose this thing?

295
00:13:26,606 --> 00:13:28,906
Oh, yeah. I have got
a truly terrible argument.

296
00:13:28,942 --> 00:13:31,182
There's no way I can win.
Ah, that's the spirit.

297
00:13:31,211 --> 00:13:33,011
Now get in there and take
a dive, make us all proud.

298
00:13:33,046 --> 00:13:35,076
Okay.

299
00:13:35,115 --> 00:13:36,275
Hey.

300
00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:38,486
Listen, I have something
I'd like to discuss.

301
00:13:38,518 --> 00:13:40,848
Ooh, great.
I'd love to discuss something.

302
00:13:40,888 --> 00:13:43,518
Okay, well, uh, I was thinking
about the kids' summer camp.

303
00:13:43,556 --> 00:13:45,856
Whatever you're thinking
is right, I'm sure.

304
00:13:45,893 --> 00:13:47,863
No, no, hold on.
(chuckles)

305
00:13:47,895 --> 00:13:51,495
I was thinking they
shouldn't go to camp at all.

306
00:13:51,531 --> 00:13:53,471
What?

307
00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:57,500
Yeah. I mean, is it really a
good idea for kids to have fun?

308
00:13:57,537 --> 00:13:59,507
Huh?

309
00:13:59,539 --> 00:14:03,109
It'll just make being an
adult that much sadder

310
00:14:03,143 --> 00:14:07,283
when they think back at all
the fun they used to have.

311
00:14:09,316 --> 00:14:11,346
That is quite a theory.

312
00:14:11,384 --> 00:14:13,294
Well, that's what happens
when I make decisions.

313
00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:16,520
Plus, what are we gonna do for
two weeks with no kids, huh?

314
00:14:16,556 --> 00:14:19,886
Take our own vacation?
That's stupid.

315
00:14:19,927 --> 00:14:23,197
That is stupid.
(laughs)

316
00:14:23,230 --> 00:14:25,070
You're right again.

317
00:14:25,098 --> 00:14:27,298
You always make
such good decisions.

318
00:14:27,334 --> 00:14:29,344
No, I don't.
Great job.

319
00:14:31,504 --> 00:14:33,544
Speaking of which,
Kate needs new bras.

320
00:14:33,573 --> 00:14:36,243
Who needs new what, now? What?

321
00:14:36,276 --> 00:14:38,476
Just get on the Internet
and see what you can find.

322
00:14:40,347 --> 00:14:42,617
Teen girl bras?

323
00:14:44,084 --> 00:14:45,524
I don't want to Google that.

324
00:14:45,552 --> 00:14:49,422
We just grounded Teddy
for Googling that!

325
00:14:51,524 --> 00:14:54,164
I never should've used
that stupid silent negotiation.

326
00:14:54,194 --> 00:14:55,564
What were you thinking?

327
00:14:55,595 --> 00:14:58,325
You told me to do it.

328
00:14:58,365 --> 00:15:02,135
I told you what it was;
I didn't tell you to do it.

329
00:15:02,169 --> 00:15:04,669
So, Andi was fine with the
kids staying home all summer?

330
00:15:04,704 --> 00:15:05,974
Yeah.

331
00:15:06,006 --> 00:15:07,636
She said I made
some good points.

332
00:15:07,674 --> 00:15:09,444
And I'll tell you
something, I did not.

333
00:15:10,443 --> 00:15:12,213
She's up to something.

334
00:15:12,245 --> 00:15:15,215
I bet she knows
you used a trick.

335
00:15:15,248 --> 00:15:16,678
Maybe the reason
nobody does it anymore

336
00:15:16,716 --> 00:15:18,686
is because all the wives
figured it out.

337
00:15:18,718 --> 00:15:21,218
That's right.
This is why we stopped doing it.

338
00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:23,264
It unravels marriages.

339
00:15:23,290 --> 00:15:26,730
What?

340
00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:29,399
They evolved,
but we didn't.

341
00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:31,199
Just like Jurassic Park.

342
00:15:31,231 --> 00:15:33,671
Oh, will you, will
you stop with that?

343
00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:35,440
See a different movie.

344
00:15:35,468 --> 00:15:36,968
Why? It explains
everything.

345
00:15:45,312 --> 00:15:47,582
(chuckles)

346
00:15:47,614 --> 00:15:49,754
You don't want me
buying Katie's bras.

347
00:15:49,782 --> 00:15:51,422
You're playing dirty.

348
00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:53,191
You played dirty first.

349
00:15:53,220 --> 00:15:54,720
No!

350
00:15:54,754 --> 00:15:56,764
Yeah, you got me.

351
00:15:56,789 --> 00:15:59,259
But, look, I'm already
being punished.

352
00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:01,632
I just want things
to go back to normal.

353
00:16:01,661 --> 00:16:04,631
You pick stuff, I watch TV.

354
00:16:04,664 --> 00:16:07,004
I agree, that's how we work.

355
00:16:07,034 --> 00:16:08,704
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

356
00:16:11,671 --> 00:16:13,271
How do we do that?

357
00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:17,136
I guess we have to go back
to the beginning.

358
00:16:17,177 --> 00:16:19,307
Back to where it all started.

359
00:16:19,346 --> 00:16:21,546
Behind the Dumpster at Chili's?

360
00:16:23,783 --> 00:16:27,393
No! We're never
going back that far.

361
00:16:27,420 --> 00:16:30,220
No, I'm talking about
Kate and the dance.

362
00:16:31,591 --> 00:16:33,761
So, sit down
and we can discuss it.

363
00:16:38,265 --> 00:16:40,595
I still can't believe you guys
are letting me go to the dance.

364
00:16:40,633 --> 00:16:41,803
Thank you so much.

365
00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:46,414
Ah, we went to the chairs, and
the Globetrotters won again.

366
00:16:46,439 --> 00:16:48,079
Oh, I forgot my phone.

367
00:16:49,709 --> 00:16:51,679
I am back, baby.

368
00:16:51,711 --> 00:16:54,751
And now we have a pink bathroom
in our house, that I love.

369
00:16:54,781 --> 00:16:56,521
Oh, technically it's mauve.

370
00:16:56,549 --> 00:16:59,319
I am thrilled to
say I do not care.

371
00:16:59,352 --> 00:17:01,192
(chuckles)
(knock on door)

372
00:17:01,221 --> 00:17:04,061
(gasps)
That must be Kate's date.

373
00:17:04,091 --> 00:17:06,691
I don't know why,
but I'm feeling nachos.

374
00:17:07,660 --> 00:17:11,160
Hey. What's up?

375
00:17:11,198 --> 00:17:12,628
You're a giant.

376
00:17:12,665 --> 00:17:14,595
(clicks tongue)

377
00:17:14,634 --> 00:17:15,674
Dad, your
friend's here.

378
00:17:17,370 --> 00:17:18,670
Is Kate ready?

379
00:17:18,705 --> 00:17:20,565
Uh, Adam?

380
00:17:20,607 --> 00:17:22,237
Yeah. Uh, hey, big guy.

381
00:17:22,275 --> 00:17:25,775
Katie will be out in a minute.
Yeah, okay.

382
00:17:25,812 --> 00:17:27,482
We can't let our daughter
go out alone

383
00:17:27,514 --> 00:17:29,324
with that-that lumberjack
in a tux.

384
00:17:29,349 --> 00:17:31,519
I mean, did you see him?
He filled up the whole doorway!

385
00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:32,721
All right, all right.
Don't panic, don't panic.

386
00:17:32,752 --> 00:17:35,362
Oh, okay.
I'll go with them.

387
00:17:35,388 --> 00:17:37,788
Yeah. Although,
he looked pretty strong.

388
00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:41,529
I wish I still had
that bear spray.

389
00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:43,201
Katie, your date's here!

390
00:17:43,230 --> 00:17:44,800
You'll go? Really?
Yeah, sure. Absolutely, yeah.

391
00:17:44,831 --> 00:17:46,171
Apparently,
they don't have a problem

392
00:17:46,199 --> 00:17:47,829
with grown men
going to their dances.

393
00:17:47,867 --> 00:17:49,367
You're the best.

394
00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:52,513
Maybe later we can
swing by Chili's.

395
00:17:54,374 --> 00:17:56,714
Uh, okay.
Uh, come on, we're going!

396
00:17:56,743 --> 00:17:58,753
Wait, you're going, too?

397
00:17:58,778 --> 00:18:02,718
Damn right I am.
I call shotgun.

398
00:18:02,749 --> 00:18:04,679
Chili's. You're so naughty.

399
00:18:04,717 --> 00:18:06,247
(giggles)

400
00:18:11,491 --> 00:18:13,791
Hey. How'd it go?

401
00:18:13,826 --> 00:18:15,196
I had a blast.

402
00:18:15,228 --> 00:18:17,458
I thought Danny and I
kind of had a spark.

403
00:18:17,497 --> 00:18:20,867
Yeah, you two were so cute
in the photo booth together.

404
00:18:23,603 --> 00:18:26,813
Ah. You'll thank
me someday.

405
00:18:26,839 --> 00:18:27,869
(chuckles)

406
00:18:27,907 --> 00:18:30,137
No, she won't.

407
00:18:30,177 --> 00:18:32,277
You didn't embarrass her
too bad, did you?

408
00:18:32,312 --> 00:18:33,782
Embarrass her?

409
00:18:33,813 --> 00:18:35,823
I won the dance contest.

410
00:18:43,890 --> 00:18:45,890
(sportscast playing over TV)

411
00:18:52,932 --> 00:18:54,832
Oh! Oh!

412
00:18:54,867 --> 00:18:56,597
(laughs)

413
00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:58,336
Now we're even.

414
00:19:00,340 --> 00:19:03,180
Very funny.
See you at prom!

415
00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:11,850
Captioning sponsored by
CBS

416
00:19:11,884 --> 00:19:15,894
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org