1
00:00:03,046 --> 00:00:04,396
[sighs]Hey.

2
00:00:04,439 --> 00:00:05,349
How was lunch?

3
00:00:05,396 --> 00:00:06,826
Oh, well, your dad
wanted to go

4
00:00:06,876 --> 00:00:07,956
to the Chinese buffet.

5
00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:09,268
It was all-you-can-eat,

6
00:00:09,313 --> 00:00:10,923
and we took that
as a challenge.

7
00:00:10,967 --> 00:00:12,487
[chuckles]It was like the war.

8
00:00:12,534 --> 00:00:15,064
I went into the jungle
innocent and hopeful,

9
00:00:15,102 --> 00:00:17,102
and I came out
just looking for a bathroom.

10
00:00:18,757 --> 00:00:20,187
And we blame you.

11
00:00:20,237 --> 00:00:21,717
Hey, before I pulled in,

12
00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:22,980
I asked, "Are we
really doing this?"

13
00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:25,203
And I got nods from you and you.

14
00:00:25,242 --> 00:00:27,772
We all knew
what we were getting into.

15
00:00:27,810 --> 00:00:29,250
What's this?

16
00:00:29,290 --> 00:00:31,210
Oh, that got delivered
while you were out.

17
00:00:31,248 --> 00:00:32,768
Ooh, let's see what we got.

18
00:00:32,815 --> 00:00:34,815
[Adam and Andi scream]

19
00:00:34,860 --> 00:00:36,820
[kids laugh]

20
00:00:36,862 --> 00:00:38,692
KATE and TEDDY and EMME:
April fools!

21
00:00:38,734 --> 00:00:41,784
[laughs]You almost scared the
all-you-can-eat out of me.

22
00:00:43,739 --> 00:00:45,259
Hey, Dad started it.

23
00:00:45,306 --> 00:00:47,256
Look what he did to us.

24
00:00:47,308 --> 00:00:50,658
Yeah, this morning I hit 'em
with the old sneaker snake.

25
00:00:50,702 --> 00:00:52,442
Ah.But guys, listen,

26
00:00:52,487 --> 00:00:54,097
I want to have
a serious discussion with you

27
00:00:54,141 --> 00:00:55,881
about this April Fools' stuff.

28
00:00:55,925 --> 00:00:56,835
That's right.

29
00:00:56,882 --> 00:00:59,232
I am so proud of you.

30
00:00:59,276 --> 00:01:00,886
ANDI:
What?

31
00:01:00,930 --> 00:01:02,370
No, no, don't encourage that.

32
00:01:02,410 --> 00:01:05,020
Oh, come on, it's just
good, clean family fun.

33
00:01:05,065 --> 00:01:06,885
We've been pranking
each other for years.

34
00:01:06,936 --> 00:01:09,496
Yeah, I taught your dad
everything he knows.

35
00:01:09,547 --> 00:01:12,767
Remember the time I sewed the
legholes of your underwear shut?

36
00:01:12,811 --> 00:01:14,861
[laughing]:
Yeah.

37
00:01:14,900 --> 00:01:17,160
I hopped around for 20 minutes
and finally got one leg

38
00:01:17,207 --> 00:01:19,987
through the flap
hole in the front.[laughs]

39
00:01:20,036 --> 00:01:22,426
How about the time you put
the fake dog poop on my bed?

40
00:01:23,866 --> 00:01:26,996
We didn't have the money
for fake dog poop.

41
00:01:27,043 --> 00:01:28,703
What?

42
00:01:29,567 --> 00:01:30,957
Oh, you still got it.

43
00:01:31,003 --> 00:01:32,053
He still got it.
Ah.

44
00:01:35,051 --> 00:01:35,831
DON:
Having a little prank war

45
00:01:35,878 --> 00:01:37,308
with the kids, huh?

46
00:01:37,358 --> 00:01:38,918
Yeah, you're living the dream.

47
00:01:38,968 --> 00:01:42,008
Ah, see? I'm not the only one
who likes this stuff.

48
00:01:42,058 --> 00:01:43,578
I go through this
with you every year,

49
00:01:43,625 --> 00:01:45,625
and I still don't understand
why you like it.

50
00:01:45,670 --> 00:01:47,060
Well, I don't know. It's fun.

51
00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:48,977
You love fun. You're fun-loving.

52
00:01:51,023 --> 00:01:53,073
You know, like Marcy used to be.

53
00:01:55,376 --> 00:01:56,806
I was fun,

54
00:01:56,855 --> 00:01:59,025
but then something
made me tired.

55
00:01:59,075 --> 00:02:01,945
Well, there's just got
to be more of a reason

56
00:02:01,991 --> 00:02:03,471
than just fun.

57
00:02:03,514 --> 00:02:05,784
Look, not everything
has a deeper meaning.

58
00:02:05,821 --> 00:02:07,081
It's those books you read.

59
00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:08,777
You got to get out
of the self-help aisle

60
00:02:08,824 --> 00:02:11,964
and come join the rest of us
over by the comic books.

61
00:02:12,001 --> 00:02:14,571
Last time I took
you to a bookstore,

62
00:02:14,612 --> 00:02:16,052
you laid on the floor
like a five-year-old.

63
00:02:16,092 --> 00:02:17,442
[laughs]

64
00:02:17,485 --> 00:02:20,135
It was boring.

65
00:02:21,924 --> 00:02:23,804
Look, I think the problem
is you don't like pranks

66
00:02:23,839 --> 00:02:25,099
because of that little thing
with your sister.

67
00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:27,885
That was not a little thing.[groans]

68
00:02:27,930 --> 00:02:29,150
All right, when
I was seven,

69
00:02:29,192 --> 00:02:31,802
my sister told me that
my room was haunted

70
00:02:31,847 --> 00:02:33,677
by the ghost of a lady
with a hook hand.

71
00:02:33,718 --> 00:02:35,238
Oh.

72
00:02:35,285 --> 00:02:36,805
She lost her wedding ring

73
00:02:36,852 --> 00:02:38,332
'cause it kept sliding
off the hook.

74
00:02:39,724 --> 00:02:42,344
And she would sneak
into my room every night

75
00:02:42,379 --> 00:02:43,729
and search for it.

76
00:02:44,773 --> 00:02:46,783
That's ridiculous.

77
00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:50,778
Who would marry a lady
with a hook hand?ANDI: Okay.

78
00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:57,484
Anyway, then my
sister would come in

79
00:02:57,525 --> 00:02:59,345
while I was sleeping and
open all the drawers,

80
00:02:59,396 --> 00:03:01,916
just like a hook-handed
ghost would do.

81
00:03:03,095 --> 00:03:05,005
And that's why I
used to wet the bed,

82
00:03:05,054 --> 00:03:09,014
not because of some
social issue, Mom.

83
00:03:09,058 --> 00:03:10,228
Yeah, but that's because

84
00:03:10,277 --> 00:03:11,667
your sister did it wrong.

85
00:03:11,713 --> 00:03:13,453
You were too young
for a scary prank.

86
00:03:13,497 --> 00:03:15,107
No one's gonna laugh at that.

87
00:03:15,151 --> 00:03:17,201
Well, you laughed the
first time I told you.

88
00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:20,720
But that... but that's
because you told it funny.

89
00:03:20,765 --> 00:03:22,155
You're a great storyteller.

90
00:03:23,681 --> 00:03:25,071
You know,
back when we were dating,

91
00:03:25,117 --> 00:03:27,417
Don used to fake propose
to me at dinner.

92
00:03:29,296 --> 00:03:31,856
I'd get down on one knee
at the table, and I'd say,

93
00:03:31,907 --> 00:03:34,687
"Darling, will you
spend the rest of...

94
00:03:34,736 --> 00:03:37,166
these nachos with me?""These nachos with me?"

95
00:03:38,522 --> 00:03:40,392
Mom, something's wrong
with my mouth.

96
00:03:40,437 --> 00:03:41,827
[gasps] Oh, my God.

97
00:03:41,873 --> 00:03:43,753
April fools.April fools.

98
00:03:43,788 --> 00:03:45,958
[Don, Teddy and Adam laugh]

99
00:03:47,009 --> 00:03:48,709
Wait, what?

100
00:03:48,750 --> 00:03:49,930
We got you.

101
00:03:49,968 --> 00:03:51,708
That's joke shop toothpaste.

102
00:03:51,753 --> 00:03:53,763
You were right,
her face was funny.

103
00:03:53,798 --> 00:03:57,718
I just thought your teeth were
so surprised to see a toothbrush

104
00:03:57,759 --> 00:03:59,239
that your mouth exploded.

105
00:04:00,805 --> 00:04:03,975
That is a classic. Me and my dad
got my mom with that one.

106
00:04:04,026 --> 00:04:05,286
Oh, so this was your idea.

107
00:04:05,332 --> 00:04:07,422
Hey, this is some beautiful,

108
00:04:07,464 --> 00:04:10,164
intergenerational magic here.

109
00:04:10,206 --> 00:04:13,776
How can you like The Lion King
and not this?

110
00:04:13,818 --> 00:04:16,338
Okay, don't talk about
The Lion Kingto me,

111
00:04:16,386 --> 00:04:19,126
because you, sir,
are no Mufasa.

112
00:04:19,171 --> 00:04:20,781
Okay?

113
00:04:20,825 --> 00:04:21,995
Now, come on, let's go
get you cleaned up.

114
00:04:22,044 --> 00:04:23,184
I'll help.

115
00:04:23,219 --> 00:04:24,659
I'm good at getting blood
out of things.

116
00:04:26,222 --> 00:04:28,142
Don always forgets
how tall he is.

117
00:04:31,140 --> 00:04:32,490
That's a shame,
but it's not your fault

118
00:04:32,533 --> 00:04:35,063
you got the one gal
who wet her bed over pranks.

119
00:04:35,100 --> 00:04:37,670
I think I can turn her around.

120
00:04:37,712 --> 00:04:41,112
I don't know. Once a bed wetter,
always a bed wetter.

121
00:04:41,150 --> 00:04:44,550
No, she hasn't done that
since she was a kid.

122
00:04:44,588 --> 00:04:47,638
A-And one time on an airplane
when I was tickling her.

123
00:04:47,678 --> 00:04:49,068
Hmm. Yeah.

124
00:04:49,114 --> 00:04:51,474
Look, all I'm saying
is we all love pranks, right?

125
00:04:51,508 --> 00:04:53,288
But Andi thinks she doesn't

126
00:04:53,336 --> 00:04:55,116
because her sister
screwed her up.

127
00:04:55,164 --> 00:04:57,044
So I just need to find one
that she thinks is funny,

128
00:04:57,079 --> 00:04:59,779
and she'll see that she's wrong.

129
00:04:59,821 --> 00:05:02,521
Yeah.

130
00:05:02,563 --> 00:05:04,523
If there's one thing
wives love,

131
00:05:04,565 --> 00:05:06,305
it's being taught a lesson.

132
00:05:08,090 --> 00:05:10,090
♪

133
00:05:19,144 --> 00:05:20,544
Look, we got to think
of a fun prank for Andi.

134
00:05:20,581 --> 00:05:23,281
Something lighthearted
to ease her in.

135
00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:25,723
Hmm. She loves animals.

136
00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:28,070
So throw a fish in the tub
with her.

137
00:05:28,110 --> 00:05:29,150
[knock at door]

138
00:05:29,198 --> 00:05:31,108
Uh, no, thanks.

139
00:05:31,156 --> 00:05:32,416
I think I'll stay married.

140
00:05:34,421 --> 00:05:37,161
Joy, Rudy, what's going on?

141
00:05:37,206 --> 00:05:40,076
I'm annoyed. And I was having
a perfectly good day.

142
00:05:40,122 --> 00:05:42,472
Which is rare.Rudy.

143
00:05:42,516 --> 00:05:43,776
And what shows up

144
00:05:43,821 --> 00:05:45,871
in my mailbox
for the third month in a row?

145
00:05:45,910 --> 00:05:48,170
Your redneck racecar magazine.Yeah.

146
00:05:48,217 --> 00:05:49,437
You know,

147
00:05:49,479 --> 00:05:51,049
I am so tired
of walking over here.

148
00:05:51,089 --> 00:05:52,919
Why don't you just change
the address?

149
00:05:52,961 --> 00:05:55,491
Joy, if I did that,
we wouldn't have this.

150
00:05:57,835 --> 00:05:59,655
Now, tell you what, honey,
why don't you run home?

151
00:05:59,707 --> 00:06:01,097
I'll stay here and yell at Adam.

152
00:06:01,143 --> 00:06:04,363
Okay, but don't be
afraid to get personal.

153
00:06:04,407 --> 00:06:06,927
You can start
with that shirt he's wearing.

154
00:06:08,977 --> 00:06:11,457
That is the ugliest shirt
I've ever seen

155
00:06:11,501 --> 00:06:12,941
in my entire life!

156
00:06:12,981 --> 00:06:16,161
She bought me the same shirt
for Christmas.

157
00:06:16,201 --> 00:06:18,551
So how long does she expect you
to yell at me?

158
00:06:18,595 --> 00:06:21,075
I can stretch it out
about 15 minutes.

159
00:06:21,119 --> 00:06:23,209
That is three beers if we focus.
Come with me.

160
00:06:23,252 --> 00:06:25,342
Come on.

161
00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:28,425
Check out Adam's
well-behaved kids.

162
00:06:28,475 --> 00:06:30,735
There's a real Children
of the Cornvibe, huh?

163
00:06:30,781 --> 00:06:32,301
Okay, there's no vibe.

164
00:06:32,348 --> 00:06:35,918
They just respect me
as a parent.

165
00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:37,530
Oh!

166
00:06:37,571 --> 00:06:39,091
[kids laughing]

167
00:06:39,137 --> 00:06:40,487
We got you, Dad.

168
00:06:40,530 --> 00:06:42,310
Oh, you sure did.

169
00:06:42,358 --> 00:06:45,538
I don't know if it's pride
or the beer in my eye,

170
00:06:45,579 --> 00:06:48,319
but I'm tearing up.

171
00:06:48,364 --> 00:06:50,714
Hey, you taught us well.

172
00:06:50,758 --> 00:06:52,798
That was pretty impressive.

173
00:06:52,847 --> 00:06:55,457
I wonder how they knew
which one would be your beer.

174
00:06:56,503 --> 00:06:59,553
[kids laughing]

175
00:06:59,593 --> 00:07:02,073
Okay, I see what they did.

176
00:07:06,164 --> 00:07:08,734
[chuckles] Oh, here she comes.

177
00:07:08,776 --> 00:07:11,466
Hey, kids, how about a snack?

178
00:07:11,518 --> 00:07:13,478
[door opens]

179
00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:15,440
Hey, honey.Hey.

180
00:07:15,478 --> 00:07:17,478
I, uh, just made the kids
some cereal.

181
00:07:19,264 --> 00:07:21,924
[laughing]

182
00:07:25,401 --> 00:07:27,661
See, I froze it.

183
00:07:27,708 --> 00:07:29,708
Your children are disappointed
and confused.

184
00:07:29,753 --> 00:07:32,023
That's fun.

185
00:07:33,104 --> 00:07:34,934
I'm sorry, Adam.

186
00:07:34,976 --> 00:07:37,586
I-I want to love it,
but I just don't.

187
00:07:38,109 --> 00:07:40,159
Kind of like quinoa.

188
00:07:40,198 --> 00:07:41,768
All right.

189
00:07:41,809 --> 00:07:44,329
All right. Uh, here.

190
00:07:44,376 --> 00:07:46,156
How about a cup of tea
as a peace offering.

191
00:07:46,204 --> 00:07:48,864
Huh? Yeah.Aw, that's sweet. Thank you.

192
00:07:50,861 --> 00:07:53,561
[Adam and kids laugh]

193
00:07:53,603 --> 00:07:56,003
Mommy got owned.

194
00:07:57,694 --> 00:07:58,964
See, you thought
you were getting tea,

195
00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:00,520
but it's frozen, too.Yes.

196
00:08:00,567 --> 00:08:01,917
Yes.

197
00:08:01,959 --> 00:08:03,479
Yes, I get it.

198
00:08:03,526 --> 00:08:04,746
You've been home all day

199
00:08:04,788 --> 00:08:06,008
freezing things
your family loves.

200
00:08:06,050 --> 00:08:07,310
[laughs]

201
00:08:07,356 --> 00:08:09,836
Uh, guys, I want to talk
to Daddy for a minute.

202
00:08:14,450 --> 00:08:16,020
I don't hate this.

203
00:08:18,062 --> 00:08:20,802
Okay, maybe you're
not appreciating

204
00:08:20,848 --> 00:08:22,588
the thoughtfulness here.

205
00:08:22,632 --> 00:08:25,772
See, I know that every time you
come home from grocery shopping,

206
00:08:25,809 --> 00:08:27,509
you make yourself tea.

207
00:08:27,550 --> 00:08:28,900
And I also know

208
00:08:28,943 --> 00:08:30,773
that you take the tea bag
out before you drink it.

209
00:08:30,814 --> 00:08:32,864
So if you think about it,

210
00:08:32,903 --> 00:08:34,993
it's like a love letter.

211
00:08:37,038 --> 00:08:39,868
Okay, Adam,
I need you to understand

212
00:08:39,910 --> 00:08:41,740
how I feel about this. Okay?

213
00:08:41,782 --> 00:08:43,612
I hate pranks like...

214
00:08:43,653 --> 00:08:46,403
you hate
country western line dancing.

215
00:08:46,438 --> 00:08:49,878
Ooh, I hate that so much.

216
00:08:49,920 --> 00:08:52,310
I know, which is why
we don't do it

217
00:08:52,357 --> 00:08:53,877
even though
I am never more alive

218
00:08:53,924 --> 00:08:55,274
than when I'm dancing in a line

219
00:08:55,317 --> 00:08:57,227
to a song about whiskey
and mud flaps.

220
00:08:58,363 --> 00:09:00,673
I love it, but I respect
that you don't.

221
00:09:00,714 --> 00:09:02,064
Then let's not talk about it.

222
00:09:02,106 --> 00:09:04,196
I don't even like talking
about it.

223
00:09:04,239 --> 00:09:05,849
But if we're gonna do things

224
00:09:05,893 --> 00:09:07,423
that the other person
doesn't like,

225
00:09:07,459 --> 00:09:09,369
then I don't have to respect
that anymore.

226
00:09:09,418 --> 00:09:10,718
I can go right upstairs

227
00:09:10,767 --> 00:09:12,767
and snap you
into your cowboy shirt.

228
00:09:14,771 --> 00:09:16,431
You wouldn't.

229
00:09:16,468 --> 00:09:19,208
Oh, I would. Yeah.

230
00:09:19,254 --> 00:09:21,434
So please play another prank,

231
00:09:21,473 --> 00:09:25,003
because I really want to go
line dancing.

232
00:09:26,043 --> 00:09:28,573
Geez, you play rough.

233
00:09:30,482 --> 00:09:31,532
ADAM:
Okay, come on, guys.

234
00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:32,881
Grandpa will be here any minute

235
00:09:32,920 --> 00:09:34,100
to take you to school.

236
00:09:34,138 --> 00:09:35,838
Hey, Dad, you really got us good

237
00:09:35,879 --> 00:09:37,529
with that cereal thing.[laughs]

238
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:39,577
Oh, yeah, we wanted to show you
there were no hard feelings,

239
00:09:39,622 --> 00:09:41,192
so we got you

240
00:09:41,232 --> 00:09:43,802
this million-dollar
lottery scratcher.

241
00:09:45,628 --> 00:09:47,408
Good luck, Daddy.

242
00:09:47,456 --> 00:09:50,326
Guys, come on. Huh?

243
00:09:50,372 --> 00:09:52,552
You don't give someone
who doesn't even do scratchers

244
00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:55,642
a scratcher
in the middle of a prank war.

245
00:09:55,682 --> 00:09:58,642
I know this is one
of those fake winners.

246
00:09:58,685 --> 00:10:00,425
Huh? [clicks tongue]

247
00:10:00,469 --> 00:10:02,949
Dang it. You're too good.

248
00:10:02,993 --> 00:10:05,613
Well, I didn't want to say it,
but I'm glad you did.

249
00:10:05,648 --> 00:10:06,608
[door opens]

250
00:10:06,649 --> 00:10:08,039
All right, let's go.

251
00:10:08,085 --> 00:10:10,215
All right, thanks
for taking the kids to school.

252
00:10:10,261 --> 00:10:11,741
Oh, you're my boy.

253
00:10:11,785 --> 00:10:14,525
There's nothing
I wouldn't do for you.

254
00:10:16,703 --> 00:10:19,493
[chuckles] Nice try, Dad.

255
00:10:19,531 --> 00:10:21,801
"Danger: gas leak." Boy.

256
00:10:21,838 --> 00:10:24,148
If that isn't the pot
calling the kettle black.

257
00:10:24,188 --> 00:10:26,058
Well, I had
to give it a shot.

258
00:10:26,103 --> 00:10:29,413
I mean, we're the Burns family.
We've been accusing each other

259
00:10:29,454 --> 00:10:31,674
of gas leaks
since the Pilgrims came over.

260
00:10:31,718 --> 00:10:32,848
You've got

261
00:10:32,893 --> 00:10:34,943
to get up pretty
early to out-prank me.

262
00:10:34,982 --> 00:10:36,682
All right,
have a good day, kids.

263
00:10:39,726 --> 00:10:42,856
[laughing]

264
00:10:42,903 --> 00:10:45,383
You got to get up
really early to out-prank me.

265
00:10:45,427 --> 00:10:48,947
Seriously,
I can't sleep past 4:00 a.m.

266
00:10:48,996 --> 00:10:52,426
Old age-- that's God's prank.

267
00:10:57,569 --> 00:10:59,749
Man, I was just
at the bank,

268
00:10:59,789 --> 00:11:01,879
and everyone was
smiling at me.

269
00:11:01,922 --> 00:11:04,402
I think people
are getting nicer.

270
00:11:04,446 --> 00:11:06,396
Well, no.

271
00:11:06,448 --> 00:11:08,538
Try cutting out dairy.
That worked for me.

272
00:11:08,580 --> 00:11:11,320
Oh. Dad distracted me
with the first sign

273
00:11:11,366 --> 00:11:13,276
so I'd fall for this one.

274
00:11:13,324 --> 00:11:15,634
Yesterday he put a bouillon cube
in my shower head.

275
00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:17,585
I tried to cover up
the soup smell with cologne,

276
00:11:17,633 --> 00:11:19,773
but I just smelled
like a chicken going on a date.

277
00:11:19,809 --> 00:11:21,989
So the old man
got both of us.

278
00:11:22,029 --> 00:11:23,899
You know, he can put
all this together,

279
00:11:23,944 --> 00:11:26,954
but he can't remember
where he parked at the mall.

280
00:11:26,990 --> 00:11:29,430
I know Andi said no more pranks,
but we got to get him back.

281
00:11:29,471 --> 00:11:32,781
I can help. I'm quite the
mischievous prank artist myself.

282
00:11:32,822 --> 00:11:35,132
I once switched my wife's lotion

283
00:11:35,172 --> 00:11:37,092
from lavender to violet.

284
00:11:37,131 --> 00:11:38,741
Get out.
Yeah.

285
00:11:38,785 --> 00:11:40,565
Had she noticed the difference,

286
00:11:40,612 --> 00:11:43,572
it would have been pretty wild.

287
00:11:43,615 --> 00:11:45,745
Sure. Yeah. You know,

288
00:11:45,792 --> 00:11:47,752
Dad loves scratchers,

289
00:11:47,794 --> 00:11:50,194
and my kids tried to give me
a fake winner this morning.

290
00:11:50,231 --> 00:11:53,451
Oh, that's good.
He's got a bunch lying around.

291
00:11:53,495 --> 00:11:56,755
We can slip the fake one into
the pile and wait for the fun.Okay, great.

292
00:11:56,803 --> 00:11:59,153
So after work, we'll grab it
and then head over to his place.

293
00:11:59,196 --> 00:12:01,196
This is so weird.

294
00:12:01,242 --> 00:12:04,682
I remember leaving that lottery
scratcher right here.

295
00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:06,774
Hey, honey.Hey.

296
00:12:06,813 --> 00:12:08,823
I have to tell you,
it is really nice

297
00:12:08,858 --> 00:12:10,858
to be in a
prank-free house.
Oh.

298
00:12:10,904 --> 00:12:12,694
So thank you for
respecting how I feel.

299
00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:16,302
Ah.I'd thank you in a handsier
way, but your brother's here.

300
00:12:17,911 --> 00:12:19,561
I could turn around.

301
00:12:21,784 --> 00:12:23,354
Oh, I'm not falling
for that again.

302
00:12:23,394 --> 00:12:25,574
Hey, uh, did you

303
00:12:25,614 --> 00:12:27,924
by any chance see a lottery
scratcher lying around?

304
00:12:27,964 --> 00:12:29,924
Oh, yeah. I gave it to Joy.

305
00:12:32,882 --> 00:12:34,882
What?

306
00:12:34,928 --> 00:12:36,708
Yeah, well, I got her a card to
apologize for your magazines,

307
00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:39,056
and I... you know, I put it
in as a token of good will.

308
00:12:39,106 --> 00:12:40,756
I just dropped
it in her mailbox.

309
00:12:40,803 --> 00:12:44,683
That is so thoughtful.

310
00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:48,160
Well, it just feels good
to do good, you know?

311
00:12:48,202 --> 00:12:49,592
Yeah.

312
00:12:49,638 --> 00:12:51,118
Good. [laughs]

313
00:12:51,161 --> 00:12:52,951
This is notgood.
No.

314
00:12:52,989 --> 00:12:54,859
The only reason that
scratcher was here

315
00:12:54,904 --> 00:12:56,784
was because I
started a prank war.

316
00:12:56,819 --> 00:12:58,299
If Andi finds
out about this,

317
00:12:58,342 --> 00:13:00,952
she'll be so mad, she'll
make me put on chaps.

318
00:13:00,997 --> 00:13:05,827
Okay. I don't need to hear how
you guys work your stuff out.

319
00:13:05,872 --> 00:13:07,832
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.

320
00:13:07,874 --> 00:13:10,184
Andi just put it in
Joy's mailbox, right?

321
00:13:10,224 --> 00:13:12,104
Yeah.So all we got to do is
get it out of the mailbox

322
00:13:12,139 --> 00:13:13,659
before Joy sees it,
and we're home free.

323
00:13:13,705 --> 00:13:15,525
Now you're thinking.Yeah.

324
00:13:15,577 --> 00:13:17,537
That means no yelling,
no stupid line dancing.

325
00:13:17,579 --> 00:13:19,619
I mean, if I'm dancing,
I do my own thing.

326
00:13:19,668 --> 00:13:21,448
I go where my
hips lead me.

327
00:13:21,496 --> 00:13:23,406
You know what I mean?

328
00:13:23,454 --> 00:13:25,814
One for you, one for you,
one for you, one for you.

329
00:13:32,115 --> 00:13:34,285
All right, let's just get the
scratcher out of the mailbox

330
00:13:34,335 --> 00:13:37,025
before Joy finds it.

331
00:13:37,077 --> 00:13:38,907
Is it in there?Yeah, yeah, I see
it at the bottom.

332
00:13:38,948 --> 00:13:40,598
All right, reach in.

333
00:13:40,645 --> 00:13:42,725
I'd do it, but my hands are
too big. You have dainty hands.

334
00:13:42,778 --> 00:13:45,258
I don't have dainty hands.

335
00:13:45,302 --> 00:13:47,522
I'm normal-sized. You're
the one who looks like

336
00:13:47,565 --> 00:13:50,175
he should be swatting
airplanes out of the sky.

337
00:13:54,355 --> 00:13:55,875
Okay, I feel
the card, okay?

338
00:13:55,922 --> 00:13:58,792
It's coming. It's coming.

339
00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:01,138
And my hand's stuck.
My hand's stuck!All right. All right.

340
00:14:01,188 --> 00:14:03,148
Don't panic.
We're two intelligent adults.

341
00:14:03,190 --> 00:14:04,890
I have an idea.

342
00:14:04,931 --> 00:14:06,021
What? Ow!

343
00:14:06,062 --> 00:14:07,762
Ow!

344
00:14:07,803 --> 00:14:08,943
Okay, that did not work.

345
00:14:08,978 --> 00:14:10,758
Cross it off the list.
Okay.

346
00:14:10,806 --> 00:14:13,586
Let's just unbolt the whole
thing, bring it to my house, and

347
00:14:13,635 --> 00:14:15,635
we'll take it apart.
Grab my Leatherman.

348
00:14:15,680 --> 00:14:17,770
It's in my back pocket.
I can't reach it.
Well, no.

349
00:14:17,813 --> 00:14:20,033
I'm not touching your butt.
This is a family neighborhood.

350
00:14:20,076 --> 00:14:21,376
Will you please?!

351
00:14:21,425 --> 00:14:23,945
I got my hand stuck
in a mailbox here.
Right.

352
00:14:25,995 --> 00:14:28,865
Don't flex it.
You're making the pocket tight.

353
00:14:28,911 --> 00:14:31,441
Just relax and let it happen.

354
00:14:34,438 --> 00:14:36,958
[grunts]

355
00:14:41,097 --> 00:14:43,487
What are you doing
with mymailbox?

356
00:14:43,534 --> 00:14:46,494
I figured, this way,
if Joy sees hers is missing,

357
00:14:46,537 --> 00:14:49,147
you can say there's
a mailbox thief on the loose.

358
00:14:49,192 --> 00:14:51,152
You know what?
Don't freelance.

359
00:14:51,194 --> 00:14:53,634
Aha! I got it. What?

360
00:14:53,675 --> 00:14:55,805
Wait. This isn't Andi's
thank you note.

361
00:14:55,851 --> 00:14:58,291
It's a renewal card
from my magazine.

362
00:14:58,332 --> 00:15:00,942
Oh. That means Joy
already has the scratcher.

363
00:15:00,987 --> 00:15:03,077
[sighs]
I told you this
wouldn't work.

364
00:15:03,119 --> 00:15:05,509
You never said that.

365
00:15:05,556 --> 00:15:06,856
Now I got to go in there
and come clean with Andi

366
00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:09,256
before Joy thinks
she won a million dollars.

367
00:15:09,299 --> 00:15:11,259
Come on. Let me
do the talking.

368
00:15:11,301 --> 00:15:13,261
Bringing the mailbox, right?No! No!

369
00:15:13,303 --> 00:15:15,873
Put that down.

370
00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:17,695
Andi. Oh, oh, oh.

371
00:15:17,742 --> 00:15:19,442
Oh, good. Everyone's here.

372
00:15:19,483 --> 00:15:22,363
Adam, we're rich!

373
00:15:22,399 --> 00:15:25,969
Great. I'm so happy for you, I
need to be alone. Come on, Don.

374
00:15:26,012 --> 00:15:28,062
Wait. No. Wait, wait, wait.
Honey,

375
00:15:28,101 --> 00:15:29,801
you are not gonna believe this.

376
00:15:29,841 --> 00:15:31,451
Okay, you know that scratcher
I gave Joy?

377
00:15:31,495 --> 00:15:33,055
Never heard of it.
This is all new to me.

378
00:15:33,106 --> 00:15:35,016
I don't know about
Adam, though.

379
00:15:35,064 --> 00:15:37,024
We won a million bucks!

380
00:15:37,066 --> 00:15:40,806
Yeah. I bought a boat.

381
00:15:40,852 --> 00:15:43,512
It's so big, it's got a
little boat attached to it.

382
00:15:43,551 --> 00:15:44,941
And I...

383
00:15:44,987 --> 00:15:46,207
I quit my job.

384
00:15:46,249 --> 00:15:47,989
I said all kinds of
things to my boss.

385
00:15:48,034 --> 00:15:50,864
Religious, I got
a little racial.

386
00:15:50,906 --> 00:15:52,996
I burned bridges!

387
00:15:53,039 --> 00:15:55,079
Oh. Oh, that's good to hear.

388
00:15:55,128 --> 00:15:57,908
Can I... can I talk to you
for a second?

389
00:15:57,957 --> 00:15:58,997
What's going on?

390
00:15:59,045 --> 00:16:01,605
Joy and Rudy won
a million dollars!

391
00:16:01,656 --> 00:16:04,266
[overlapping chatter]

392
00:16:04,311 --> 00:16:06,101
This is gonna
change our life.

393
00:16:06,139 --> 00:16:08,179
We can move out of this
crappy neighborhood.

394
00:16:08,228 --> 00:16:09,708
RUDY:
Yeah.

395
00:16:09,751 --> 00:16:11,621
Yeah, somebody stole
our mailbox.

396
00:16:11,666 --> 00:16:14,836
And since you gave us
this scratcher,

397
00:16:14,886 --> 00:16:17,976
we want to give you
$100,000 of it.

398
00:16:18,020 --> 00:16:19,980
What?! [gasps]

399
00:16:20,022 --> 00:16:23,812
$100,000?
We're millionaires!

400
00:16:23,852 --> 00:16:26,032
Uh, Andi, I need
to talk to you.

401
00:16:26,072 --> 00:16:28,202
I-I-I... I really need
to talk to you right now.

402
00:16:28,248 --> 00:16:30,508
Oh.

403
00:16:30,554 --> 00:16:33,044
So, about this mailbox thief--
I was at the movies all day.

404
00:16:34,863 --> 00:16:37,653
What's going on?Joy's scratcher is a fake.

405
00:16:37,692 --> 00:16:39,222
What?!
Shh!

406
00:16:40,912 --> 00:16:43,442
Talking loud defeats the whole
purpose of coming over here!

407
00:16:47,093 --> 00:16:51,013
Joy's scratcher was a prank.
You got to help me.

408
00:16:51,053 --> 00:16:52,843
This will devastate Joy and
Rudy, and it's all your fault.

409
00:16:52,881 --> 00:16:54,061
Why should I help you?

410
00:16:54,100 --> 00:16:56,020
Because if Joy kills me,

411
00:16:56,058 --> 00:16:57,798
you're gonna have to raise
our children by yourself,

412
00:16:57,842 --> 00:17:00,452
and that will be exhausting!

413
00:17:00,497 --> 00:17:02,197
Adam.
Well, okay.

414
00:17:02,238 --> 00:17:04,278
You were right, okay?
I screwed up.

415
00:17:04,327 --> 00:17:06,977
I should have listened to you.
Pranks aren't fun.

416
00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:10,936
But if you please help me out
here, I will never do one again.

417
00:17:10,986 --> 00:17:12,936
Good.
Okay.

418
00:17:12,988 --> 00:17:15,818
Because April fools. [laughs]

419
00:17:18,385 --> 00:17:20,335
ALL:
April fools!

420
00:17:29,135 --> 00:17:31,085
This was all a prank?
You pranked me?

421
00:17:31,137 --> 00:17:33,697
And me.

422
00:17:33,748 --> 00:17:35,878
I-I think?

423
00:17:35,924 --> 00:17:37,884
I don't really
know what's going on.

424
00:17:37,926 --> 00:17:39,356
So I knew

425
00:17:39,406 --> 00:17:40,966
you couldn't quit
on your own,

426
00:17:41,016 --> 00:17:42,966
so I had the kids
bring you the scratcher.

427
00:17:43,018 --> 00:17:44,368
Which we knew
you wouldn't fall for.

428
00:17:44,411 --> 00:17:45,931
And because
you never put anything

429
00:17:45,977 --> 00:17:47,107
in the actual garbage can,

430
00:17:47,153 --> 00:17:48,813
I knew you'd leave it
lying around.

431
00:17:48,850 --> 00:17:50,550
So we told Mom
where you left it.

432
00:17:50,591 --> 00:17:52,981
And then I grabbed it, and
told you that I gave it to Joy.

433
00:17:53,028 --> 00:17:56,378
See, I used all the things
that I know about you, so,

434
00:17:56,423 --> 00:17:58,993
if you think about it...

435
00:18:01,428 --> 00:18:04,078
...it's like a love letter.

436
00:18:05,127 --> 00:18:08,907
[laughs, mutters]

437
00:18:10,915 --> 00:18:13,085
Okay, this is the last of it.
Fake toothpaste.

438
00:18:14,745 --> 00:18:17,875
Oh. Bug in the ice cube.
[laughing]: Oh.

439
00:18:17,922 --> 00:18:22,102
Aw. And this one hurts--
snakes in a can.

440
00:18:23,145 --> 00:18:25,575
Oh.

441
00:18:25,626 --> 00:18:27,716
Hey, well, I'm proud of you,

442
00:18:27,758 --> 00:18:32,368
but I still don't get why
you like this stuff so much.

443
00:18:32,415 --> 00:18:34,285
And don't say it's
because it's fun.

444
00:18:34,330 --> 00:18:37,460
Look, it's just a thing I always
loved doing with my dad.

445
00:18:37,507 --> 00:18:40,117
Most of the time
if he was talking to me,

446
00:18:40,162 --> 00:18:41,642
he was mad about something,

447
00:18:41,685 --> 00:18:44,685
but when we were doing pranks,
we were laughing.

448
00:18:44,732 --> 00:18:49,912
And when he'd put pudding
in my baseball glove,

449
00:18:49,954 --> 00:18:52,914
yeah, it was funny,
but it also meant

450
00:18:52,957 --> 00:18:55,047
that he knew I liked baseball.

451
00:18:55,090 --> 00:18:57,090
And pudding.

452
00:18:58,485 --> 00:19:00,395
Yeah, I was husky
for a while.
Mm.

453
00:19:00,443 --> 00:19:04,363
So in a way, it's how he
told you that he loved you.

454
00:19:04,404 --> 00:19:06,014
[gasps]

455
00:19:06,057 --> 00:19:08,227
I knew it was deep! Ha!

456
00:19:10,061 --> 00:19:13,591
The self-help aisle
is making a comeback!

457
00:19:13,630 --> 00:19:16,240
All right, all right.
Nobody likes a touchdown dance.

458
00:19:17,591 --> 00:19:20,201
Well, I know that you
love me and the kids

459
00:19:20,246 --> 00:19:23,376
because you say it
all the time, okay?

460
00:19:23,423 --> 00:19:25,773
So please don't show it
with pranks anymore.

461
00:19:25,816 --> 00:19:28,076
All right, you got it.
It's all in the trash now.

462
00:19:28,123 --> 00:19:31,043
Okay, good. All right, well, I'm
gonna make us a cup of tea...

463
00:19:31,082 --> 00:19:32,822
Mm.
...now that I know
it's safe again.

464
00:19:49,231 --> 00:19:51,671
[laughs]

465
00:19:53,148 --> 00:19:56,018
I f... I forgot about that one.

466
00:19:58,066 --> 00:20:01,586
[laughing]:
I put a rubber band
on the sprayer.

467
00:20:04,072 --> 00:20:05,422
I'll just go find my cowboy hat.

468
00:20:15,475 --> 00:20:18,425
Adam, we're gonna
be late. Come on!

469
00:20:23,439 --> 00:20:25,139
[laughter]

470
00:20:27,965 --> 00:20:31,095
I did that.
I dressed him.

471
00:20:32,318 --> 00:20:35,628
You look like Roy Rogers' wife.[laughter]

472
00:20:35,669 --> 00:20:37,279
You told me
nobody would be here.

473
00:20:37,323 --> 00:20:40,153
Huh. I guess I do like pranks.

474
00:20:41,762 --> 00:20:42,892
Come on, let's go.

475
00:20:44,155 --> 00:20:47,195
Just relax and let it happen.

476
00:20:47,246 --> 00:20:48,936
Captioning sponsored by
CBS

477
00:20:53,339 --> 00:20:57,339
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org