1 00:00:02,785 --> 00:00:06,615 [honking horn loudly] 2 00:00:06,658 --> 00:00:08,918 All right, all right. 3 00:00:08,965 --> 00:00:11,915 Hey, Dad, there's this new thing people are doing these days. 4 00:00:11,968 --> 00:00:13,748 It's called knocking. 5 00:00:13,796 --> 00:00:15,536 I'm old, you come to me. 6 00:00:16,973 --> 00:00:18,933 Listen, I'm on my way to buy a new car. 7 00:00:18,975 --> 00:00:20,795 I'm gonna use the Burns system. 8 00:00:20,846 --> 00:00:23,146 The Burns car buying system is a legend. 9 00:00:23,197 --> 00:00:25,757 Yeah.Your dad handed it down to you, 10 00:00:25,808 --> 00:00:29,288 and then you handed it down to, well, my brother. 11 00:00:29,333 --> 00:00:31,683 Well, this time I want you in the showroom with me. 12 00:00:31,727 --> 00:00:33,467 Wh... You and me? 13 00:00:33,511 --> 00:00:34,861 You always do it with Don. 14 00:00:34,904 --> 00:00:36,044 Oh, not today. 15 00:00:36,079 --> 00:00:38,299 Oh, is Don sick? 16 00:00:38,342 --> 00:00:39,602 Are you coming or not? 17 00:00:39,648 --> 00:00:40,868 Let me just go tell Andi we're heading out. 18 00:00:40,910 --> 00:00:42,480 [clears throat] 19 00:00:42,520 --> 00:00:44,000 [car horn blaring] 20 00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:46,314 All right, I'm hurrying. 21 00:00:46,350 --> 00:00:48,270 Adam, look what Emme just brought down 22 00:00:48,309 --> 00:00:50,009 from her room. I-It's a snake! 23 00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:51,180 ADAM: What? Emme, 24 00:00:51,225 --> 00:00:53,305 we don't allow weird pets in the house 25 00:00:53,357 --> 00:00:55,317 ever since I accidentally drank Teddy's sea monkeys. 26 00:00:55,359 --> 00:00:56,669 Put him back in there. 27 00:00:56,708 --> 00:00:58,148 But he's cute.No, no, no, honey. 28 00:00:58,188 --> 00:00:59,488 You're cute, 29 00:00:59,537 --> 00:01:01,147 'cause you have cute little ears, 30 00:01:01,191 --> 00:01:03,321 and your cute little hands and your cute little feet. 31 00:01:03,367 --> 00:01:04,847 Snake's got none of that. 32 00:01:04,890 --> 00:01:06,070 ANDI: Yeah. 33 00:01:06,109 --> 00:01:08,459 Yeah, he's just a legless killing machine. 34 00:01:08,503 --> 00:01:10,373 They go for the eyeballs first, you know. 35 00:01:11,549 --> 00:01:12,679 Honey, you have to get rid of it. 36 00:01:12,724 --> 00:01:14,734 I can't. Dad's outside, he just invited me 37 00:01:14,770 --> 00:01:16,340 to do the Burns system with him. 38 00:01:16,380 --> 00:01:17,860 Oh, is Don sick? 39 00:01:20,167 --> 00:01:21,907 No, no, he wants me. 40 00:01:21,951 --> 00:01:24,431 After years of having to wait in the car and watch them do it, 41 00:01:24,475 --> 00:01:27,775 today I get to finally go inside the showroom. 42 00:01:27,826 --> 00:01:30,086 I'm moving up! Okay. 43 00:01:30,133 --> 00:01:32,403 Look, I'm all for you bonding with your dad, 44 00:01:32,440 --> 00:01:34,880 but, you know, this is your job, okay? 45 00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:37,100 You handle the creepy-crawlies. 46 00:01:37,140 --> 00:01:39,230 What? It's just a harmless corn snake. 47 00:01:39,273 --> 00:01:40,713 You can do this. 48 00:01:40,752 --> 00:01:44,152 You are a strong, independent woman, okay? 49 00:01:44,191 --> 00:01:46,321 And in the name of women's liberation, 50 00:01:46,367 --> 00:01:50,717 I will not-- no, no, I cannot 51 00:01:50,762 --> 00:01:52,682 do something that you can do on your own. 52 00:01:52,721 --> 00:01:54,291 [car horn honks]Gotta go. 53 00:01:54,331 --> 00:01:55,851 Wait, you mean... Whoa! 54 00:01:55,898 --> 00:01:57,378 You're really going to leave me here with a snake? 55 00:01:57,421 --> 00:01:59,551 Equal rights! 56 00:02:04,167 --> 00:02:05,557 Emme, where'd you even get that thing? 57 00:02:05,603 --> 00:02:07,653 I traded it for a Twinkie at school. 58 00:02:09,303 --> 00:02:12,003 Honey, y-you can't keep that gross snake. 59 00:02:12,044 --> 00:02:13,394 He's not gross. 60 00:02:13,437 --> 00:02:16,527 His name is Brian and I love him. 61 00:02:19,182 --> 00:02:23,622 What if I traded you two Twinkies for that snake? 62 00:02:23,665 --> 00:02:26,535 So long, Brian. 63 00:02:29,366 --> 00:02:31,846 ♪ 64 00:02:40,203 --> 00:02:41,733 All right, this is the one. 65 00:02:41,770 --> 00:02:43,900 Now we just have to make the deal. 66 00:02:43,946 --> 00:02:45,986 I can't believe I'm here, doing the Burns system. 67 00:02:46,035 --> 00:02:47,375 I've been on the bench so long 68 00:02:47,428 --> 00:02:48,818 and you finally put me in the game. 69 00:02:48,864 --> 00:02:50,744 I won't let you down, Coach. 70 00:02:50,779 --> 00:02:52,389 Settle down, Sally. 71 00:02:52,433 --> 00:02:53,393 Yeah. Mm-hmm. 72 00:02:53,434 --> 00:02:55,134 There's the salesman. 73 00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:57,435 Now, here's what we do: you be the good cop, 74 00:02:57,481 --> 00:03:00,011 I'll be the grouchy-old-man- who-hates-everything cop. 75 00:03:00,049 --> 00:03:02,179 Roger that, partner. [chuckles] 76 00:03:02,225 --> 00:03:03,615 I don't need to do that. 77 00:03:04,575 --> 00:03:05,835 She's a beaut, isn't she? 78 00:03:05,881 --> 00:03:07,491 This one's loaded. 79 00:03:07,535 --> 00:03:09,485 It's got radar cruise control and parking assist. 80 00:03:09,537 --> 00:03:11,317 It can park itself. 81 00:03:11,365 --> 00:03:13,495 Sounds like it doesn't need me. Let's go. 82 00:03:13,541 --> 00:03:14,891 W-Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 83 00:03:14,933 --> 00:03:17,503 Ea-Ease up, Dad. He's just doing his job. 84 00:03:17,545 --> 00:03:19,495 Sorry about that. He's-he's pretty tough. 85 00:03:19,547 --> 00:03:20,847 Tell us more. 86 00:03:20,896 --> 00:03:22,196 Well, this is our first model 87 00:03:22,245 --> 00:03:24,245 with a completely digital dashboard. 88 00:03:24,291 --> 00:03:25,251 There's no ignition. 89 00:03:25,292 --> 00:03:26,862 Where does the key go? 90 00:03:26,902 --> 00:03:28,862 There's actually no key, just a fob. 91 00:03:28,904 --> 00:03:30,734 You're a fob. 92 00:03:32,081 --> 00:03:34,341 He likes to make the names of things into insults. 93 00:03:34,388 --> 00:03:37,698 [chuckles]: Yeah. Yesterday, he called me a doorbell. 94 00:03:37,739 --> 00:03:39,039 [chuckles] 95 00:03:39,088 --> 00:03:40,698 Well, I should tell you about the Bluetooth. 96 00:03:40,742 --> 00:03:41,872 You're a Bluetooth. 97 00:03:41,917 --> 00:03:43,877 Reggie. It's actually Reggie. 98 00:03:43,919 --> 00:03:45,089 [chuckles]Hey, Dad, 99 00:03:45,137 --> 00:03:47,227 why don't you, uh, have a seat? Let me talk 100 00:03:47,270 --> 00:03:49,320 to this guy for a second, huh? 101 00:03:51,013 --> 00:03:53,973 Hey, listen, uh, 102 00:03:54,016 --> 00:03:56,276 neither of us wants to spend our whole Saturday dealing with him. 103 00:03:56,323 --> 00:03:58,283 Okay? So we need to be on the same team. 104 00:03:58,325 --> 00:03:59,935 Thanks. You think we can get him to take a test drive? 105 00:03:59,978 --> 00:04:02,328 'Cause that's where I shine. 106 00:04:02,372 --> 00:04:04,942 Definitely. I mean, you're gonna have to throw in chrome wheels 107 00:04:04,983 --> 00:04:05,943 if we buy the car. 108 00:04:05,984 --> 00:04:07,864 I can swing that. 109 00:04:07,899 --> 00:04:09,859 Good, good. Oh, and, also, you're gonna need to take him 110 00:04:09,901 --> 00:04:11,641 to a drive-through and buy us some breakfast. 111 00:04:11,686 --> 00:04:14,166 He needs to see if he can eat and drive at the same time. 112 00:04:14,210 --> 00:04:16,080 I don't have any cash.Oh, don't worry. 113 00:04:16,125 --> 00:04:17,605 We'll take you to an ATM. 114 00:04:17,648 --> 00:04:19,258 [sighs]Reggie, Reggie, 115 00:04:19,302 --> 00:04:21,132 I don't want to see you lose this sale. 116 00:04:21,173 --> 00:04:22,523 Okay. 117 00:04:22,566 --> 00:04:23,996 I'll grab the fob. 118 00:04:24,046 --> 00:04:26,086 I mean the key. We'll call it a key. 119 00:04:26,135 --> 00:04:27,915 I like you, Reggie. 120 00:04:27,963 --> 00:04:29,623 I knew right away you were special. 121 00:04:30,574 --> 00:04:32,014 [chuckles] 122 00:04:34,230 --> 00:04:35,580 How'd it go? 123 00:04:35,623 --> 00:04:37,023 You get the chrome wheels? 124 00:04:37,059 --> 00:04:39,629 Not only that-- I got him to throw in breakfast. 125 00:04:39,670 --> 00:04:42,540 Oh! Oh, Donny never did that. 126 00:04:42,586 --> 00:04:44,716 Welcome to the bigs, son. 127 00:04:44,762 --> 00:04:47,162 Yeah. 128 00:04:47,199 --> 00:04:48,109 What's the matter? 129 00:04:48,157 --> 00:04:49,847 I-I just got something in my eye. 130 00:04:53,684 --> 00:04:56,514 Look at him. 131 00:04:56,557 --> 00:04:59,427 Just staring at me. 132 00:04:59,473 --> 00:05:02,613 Trying to figure out how to get all of me in his mouth. 133 00:05:02,650 --> 00:05:05,000 So what are you gonna do with it? 134 00:05:05,043 --> 00:05:06,783 Well, how 'bout this? 135 00:05:06,828 --> 00:05:08,348 I leave the room, 136 00:05:08,395 --> 00:05:10,525 and then you take care of it however you want. 137 00:05:11,615 --> 00:05:13,135 And, uh, if I hear the blender, 138 00:05:13,182 --> 00:05:14,582 no judgments. 139 00:05:14,618 --> 00:05:17,748 I am not blending your snake, okay? 140 00:05:17,795 --> 00:05:20,315 I am not touching that thing at all. 141 00:05:20,363 --> 00:05:21,583 Well, I don't want to touch it either. 142 00:05:21,625 --> 00:05:22,755 Well, then we're stuck. 143 00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:24,800 What happened to me? 144 00:05:24,846 --> 00:05:27,106 You know? I mean, I-I used to take care of 145 00:05:27,152 --> 00:05:29,632 all the creepy-crawlies before I got married. 146 00:05:29,677 --> 00:05:31,977 And I was good at it. 147 00:05:32,027 --> 00:05:34,117 I think having a husband's made me soft. 148 00:05:34,159 --> 00:05:35,599 Oh. 149 00:05:35,639 --> 00:05:36,599 That's not good. 150 00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:37,990 I read on the Internet that, 151 00:05:38,033 --> 00:05:40,693 in ten years, there won't be any men left at all. 152 00:05:43,081 --> 00:05:44,691 They carry their phones in their front pocket, 153 00:05:44,735 --> 00:05:46,345 and the radiation is turning them all 154 00:05:46,389 --> 00:05:48,739 into a bunch of Ken dolls. 155 00:05:50,262 --> 00:05:53,962 [groans] I've never gotten sick from a test drive before. 156 00:05:54,005 --> 00:05:56,485 I do panic stops to make sure the brakes work. 157 00:05:57,705 --> 00:05:59,135 Hey, thanks again for breakfast. 158 00:05:59,184 --> 00:06:01,324 Sorry you couldn't keep yours down. 159 00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:03,361 I don't trust a guy with a weak stomach. 160 00:06:03,406 --> 00:06:05,926 Let's go to the dealer next door.Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 161 00:06:08,411 --> 00:06:10,201 Okay, listen, you're losing him. 162 00:06:10,239 --> 00:06:12,849 You're gonna have to sweeten the pot with an extended warranty. 163 00:06:12,894 --> 00:06:14,774 Okay. Okay, I'll see what I can do. 164 00:06:14,809 --> 00:06:16,289 Great, great. And on your way back, don't be afraid 165 00:06:16,332 --> 00:06:18,072 to bring us some of your fancy coffees. 166 00:06:18,116 --> 00:06:20,896 All right? He gets sleepy after a big breakfast. 167 00:06:20,945 --> 00:06:22,555 All right.And maybe get yourself a mint. 168 00:06:25,210 --> 00:06:27,780 This is going great. He's agreeing to everything. 169 00:06:27,822 --> 00:06:30,222 Yeah! And here comes phase two. 170 00:06:30,259 --> 00:06:32,259 Oh, what's phase two?Donny. 171 00:06:33,436 --> 00:06:35,046 What's he doing here? 172 00:06:35,090 --> 00:06:36,400 I called in a closer. 173 00:06:36,439 --> 00:06:39,089 Closer? Dad, I can be a closer. 174 00:06:39,137 --> 00:06:42,227 I'm here. Where's the mark? 175 00:06:42,271 --> 00:06:43,711 Why don't you mind your own business? 176 00:06:43,751 --> 00:06:45,411 Lowell, are you part of this? 177 00:06:45,448 --> 00:06:47,148 I've just heard so much about the Burns system, 178 00:06:47,189 --> 00:06:48,449 I had to see it in person. 179 00:06:48,495 --> 00:06:49,885 Did you come to watch, too? 180 00:06:50,932 --> 00:06:52,722 No! I'm doing it. 181 00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:54,410 I was here first. 182 00:06:54,457 --> 00:06:57,107 Oh, good, there's more of you. 183 00:06:57,155 --> 00:06:59,935 This is my older son. He's a real car expert. 184 00:06:59,984 --> 00:07:03,074 That's right. I've been riding in cars since I was a kid. 185 00:07:03,118 --> 00:07:04,638 Started in the backseat. 186 00:07:04,685 --> 00:07:07,905 Did so well, they moved me up front. 187 00:07:07,949 --> 00:07:10,649 I thought we were doing great together. 188 00:07:10,691 --> 00:07:13,131 Yeah. Just watch him work. The kid is a star. 189 00:07:14,695 --> 00:07:16,035 Hey, let me ask you something. 190 00:07:16,087 --> 00:07:19,347 Are there any ghosts in that car?What? 191 00:07:19,395 --> 00:07:21,525 Is the car ghost-free? It's a basic question, man. 192 00:07:21,571 --> 00:07:25,401 You seem like the kind of guy that might sell me a ghost car. 193 00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:27,225 Where does he get this stuff? 194 00:07:27,272 --> 00:07:30,752 From me. You know how much time we spend together. 195 00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:35,724 ANDI: Okay, well, 196 00:07:35,759 --> 00:07:37,719 I called the zoo, I called the pet store. 197 00:07:37,761 --> 00:07:39,281 Nobody wants Brian. 198 00:07:39,328 --> 00:07:40,758 And most of the people I talked to 199 00:07:40,808 --> 00:07:42,238 tried to get me to take their snakes. 200 00:07:43,985 --> 00:07:45,765 I guess we leave the snake here and you just move. 201 00:07:45,813 --> 00:07:48,083 It's Brian's house now. 202 00:07:48,119 --> 00:07:50,949 No, he's going to the pet store, okay? 203 00:07:50,992 --> 00:07:53,602 We'll just take him out of the box and we'll sneak him in. 204 00:07:53,647 --> 00:07:55,777 How are we gonna get the snake from here to the store 205 00:07:55,823 --> 00:07:58,093 if neither one of us wants to touch it? 206 00:07:58,129 --> 00:08:01,999 [gasps] I know. We'll sneak him in there in my other purse. 207 00:08:02,046 --> 00:08:04,136 It's snakeskin. 208 00:08:04,179 --> 00:08:05,489 [gasps] 209 00:08:05,528 --> 00:08:06,958 He'll feel right at home. 210 00:08:07,008 --> 00:08:09,618 Okay. All right. So... 211 00:08:09,663 --> 00:08:10,973 [groans]Ew. 212 00:08:11,012 --> 00:08:13,012 Uh... 213 00:08:14,015 --> 00:08:16,315 Okay, Brian, jump on in. 214 00:08:16,365 --> 00:08:18,145 Come on. [whistles] 215 00:08:18,193 --> 00:08:19,633 Come on. You can do it, boy! 216 00:08:19,673 --> 00:08:20,983 Come on. [whistles] 217 00:08:21,022 --> 00:08:22,632 Come on!Yeah, I don't think 218 00:08:22,676 --> 00:08:25,286 snakes follow directions without a flute. 219 00:08:26,375 --> 00:08:28,725 Okay. Well, uh... 220 00:08:28,769 --> 00:08:30,159 you hold the purse. 221 00:08:30,205 --> 00:08:31,985 [sniffs][groans] 222 00:08:32,033 --> 00:08:33,643 All right, ready?Ugh. 223 00:08:33,687 --> 00:08:35,207 Here goes nothing. 224 00:08:35,253 --> 00:08:37,043 [groans] 225 00:08:38,039 --> 00:08:40,519 [groans][moaning] 226 00:08:41,259 --> 00:08:42,869 We did it! 227 00:08:42,913 --> 00:08:44,223 Yeah. 228 00:08:44,262 --> 00:08:46,222 [panting]Huh. All right. 229 00:08:46,264 --> 00:08:49,534 [chuckles]Good job, us. [chuckles] 230 00:08:49,572 --> 00:08:52,142 There's an old Twizzler in there. 231 00:08:53,402 --> 00:08:55,882 Oh, maybe he'll fall in love. 232 00:08:57,493 --> 00:09:00,453 All right. All Dad has to do is sign on the dotted line. 233 00:09:00,496 --> 00:09:02,016 You can thank me later. 234 00:09:02,063 --> 00:09:04,543 Whatever. We were doing fine without you. 235 00:09:04,587 --> 00:09:06,547 Hey, you got your dad a great car. 236 00:09:06,589 --> 00:09:08,979 Does it diminish it just because your brother helped? 237 00:09:09,026 --> 00:09:10,986 Yes! 238 00:09:11,028 --> 00:09:13,248 Don't you know how family works? 239 00:09:13,291 --> 00:09:14,471 JOE: Forget it. 240 00:09:14,510 --> 00:09:15,640 I'm not signing this. 241 00:09:15,685 --> 00:09:16,855 What happened? 242 00:09:16,904 --> 00:09:19,734 None of your Bluetooth business, fobbo. 243 00:09:19,776 --> 00:09:21,336 Is that part of the system? 244 00:09:21,386 --> 00:09:23,736 Who knows? Nobody tells me anything. 245 00:09:23,780 --> 00:09:25,480 This is definitely new. 246 00:09:25,521 --> 00:09:26,521 I'm leaving. 247 00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:27,736 What?Yeah. 248 00:09:27,784 --> 00:09:28,794 What about the car? 249 00:09:28,829 --> 00:09:29,999 I don't need a car. 250 00:09:30,047 --> 00:09:31,657 I don't know, Dad. I liked that car, too. 251 00:09:31,701 --> 00:09:32,921 Who asked you? 252 00:09:32,963 --> 00:09:34,623 Dad, this is me, Donny. 253 00:09:34,661 --> 00:09:37,321 That's the voice you use for Adam. 254 00:09:37,359 --> 00:09:39,099 Okay, I think we should all just settle down. 255 00:09:39,143 --> 00:09:40,283 You want a piece of this? 256 00:09:40,318 --> 00:09:42,188 No, sir. 257 00:09:42,233 --> 00:09:44,153 How can I have a piece of it when I'm all the way over there? 258 00:09:45,193 --> 00:09:46,723 Just tell me what happened. 259 00:09:46,760 --> 00:09:48,500 I don't have to tell you anything. 260 00:09:48,544 --> 00:09:49,894 What, are you waiting for me to leave 261 00:09:49,937 --> 00:09:51,587 so you can tell your number one son? 262 00:09:51,634 --> 00:09:53,814 He's too emotional. I should have left him in the car. 263 00:09:53,854 --> 00:09:56,034 Okay, you know what? I'm leaving. 264 00:09:56,073 --> 00:09:57,643 I wasted my whole Saturday because I wanted 265 00:09:57,684 --> 00:09:59,514 to get closer to you. But I'm through trying. 266 00:09:59,555 --> 00:10:01,595 Maybe you two can go to Six Flags together again, huh? 267 00:10:01,644 --> 00:10:03,344 Which I know you took him to, even though you said 268 00:10:03,385 --> 00:10:04,865 you were going to the doctor. 269 00:10:04,908 --> 00:10:06,948 Nobody comes home from a checkup with cotton candy. 270 00:10:08,346 --> 00:10:10,036 [exhales] 271 00:10:10,087 --> 00:10:12,217 I told you to ditch the cotton candy, 272 00:10:12,263 --> 00:10:14,053 but you had to be a show-off. 273 00:10:14,091 --> 00:10:16,661 It was my half-birthday. 274 00:10:16,703 --> 00:10:18,533 Just take me home, Donny. 275 00:10:18,574 --> 00:10:20,534 [scoffs] 276 00:10:20,576 --> 00:10:21,836 They left? 277 00:10:21,882 --> 00:10:23,622 I think something went wrong with their system. 278 00:10:23,666 --> 00:10:25,356 Oh, they have a system? 279 00:10:25,407 --> 00:10:28,497 Teach it to me. 280 00:10:28,540 --> 00:10:30,240 I-I shouldn't. 281 00:10:30,281 --> 00:10:31,851 I've already said too much. 282 00:10:31,892 --> 00:10:36,162 We can offer you complimentary flavored Perrier. 283 00:10:39,900 --> 00:10:41,340 Okay. 284 00:10:51,999 --> 00:10:54,519 Well, hello. 285 00:10:54,566 --> 00:10:55,696 Hi. [chuckles] 286 00:10:55,742 --> 00:10:57,922 Uh, we are shopping for a snake. 287 00:10:57,961 --> 00:11:00,141 Ah, so you're snakies like me. 288 00:11:00,181 --> 00:11:02,841 Sure, yeah. Love snakes. 289 00:11:02,879 --> 00:11:05,099 H-H-How they don't have feet and stuff. 290 00:11:05,142 --> 00:11:07,322 [chuckles] So, uh, so where are they? 291 00:11:07,362 --> 00:11:11,242 Okay, my serpent friends are chilling along the back wall. 292 00:11:11,279 --> 00:11:13,669 It's a, uh, cold-blooded joke. 293 00:11:13,716 --> 00:11:16,716 [laughs] That's terrifying. 294 00:11:16,763 --> 00:11:19,463 Um, do-do... uh, if you don't mind, 295 00:11:19,504 --> 00:11:20,774 we'd like a moment alone to browse. 296 00:11:20,810 --> 00:11:21,940 Yeah, of course. 297 00:11:21,985 --> 00:11:24,065 Okay. Great. 298 00:11:24,118 --> 00:11:26,118 All right, all right, all right, 299 00:11:26,163 --> 00:11:27,433 let's get rid of this thing. Okay. 300 00:11:27,469 --> 00:11:31,129 Adios, Brian. 301 00:11:31,168 --> 00:11:34,168 Hey. 302 00:11:34,215 --> 00:11:35,995 You're trying to leave a snake. 303 00:11:36,043 --> 00:11:39,663 This happens every time a woman comes in here. 304 00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:40,789 [gasps] Look, another woman. 305 00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:46,144 Brian? 306 00:11:46,183 --> 00:11:48,713 What? Where is he? 307 00:11:48,751 --> 00:11:49,971 I think we both closed our eyes 308 00:11:50,013 --> 00:11:51,013 when you were putting him in your purse. 309 00:11:51,058 --> 00:11:52,488 I'll bet he never made it in. 310 00:11:52,537 --> 00:11:56,107 That means there's a snake loose in my house. 311 00:11:56,150 --> 00:11:58,670 Ooh. Sounds like my kind of house. 312 00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:00,458 [clears throat] 313 00:12:00,502 --> 00:12:01,812 Okay, a little tip. 314 00:12:01,851 --> 00:12:03,421 Um, you're creepy. Stop it. 315 00:12:07,552 --> 00:12:10,212 Hey. How was car shopping with Grandpa? 316 00:12:10,251 --> 00:12:12,471 All right, listen, guys. 317 00:12:12,514 --> 00:12:15,174 I just want you to know that I love all of you equally. 318 00:12:15,212 --> 00:12:16,912 If I take one of you to Six Flags, 319 00:12:16,953 --> 00:12:18,743 I take all of you to Six Flags. 320 00:12:18,781 --> 00:12:20,571 We're going to Six Flags? 321 00:12:20,609 --> 00:12:22,919 No, no, it's too expensive to take all of you. 322 00:12:22,959 --> 00:12:23,999 Go read a book. 323 00:12:26,789 --> 00:12:29,179 [sighs] 324 00:12:32,055 --> 00:12:34,795 [scoffs] 325 00:12:34,841 --> 00:12:36,631 Where is the remote? 326 00:12:43,284 --> 00:12:45,724 Aah! 327 00:12:55,209 --> 00:12:57,039 [laughing]: Yeah. 328 00:12:57,080 --> 00:12:59,780 You better run. 329 00:12:59,822 --> 00:13:03,572 That scream was a war cry. 330 00:13:05,741 --> 00:13:08,051 It's been 20 minutes and there's still no sign of Brian. 331 00:13:08,091 --> 00:13:09,141 Wait. 332 00:13:09,179 --> 00:13:10,959 Can a snake climb stairs? 333 00:13:11,007 --> 00:13:12,837 Let's say no. 334 00:13:12,879 --> 00:13:15,319 I can't find him. 335 00:13:15,359 --> 00:13:17,319 We may need to buy a hawk. 336 00:13:17,361 --> 00:13:20,411 Okay, let's just sit down and look like 337 00:13:20,451 --> 00:13:22,241 we're not paying attention and then, you know, 338 00:13:22,279 --> 00:13:23,589 maybe Brian'll come out 339 00:13:23,628 --> 00:13:26,018 and, you know, try to murder us. 340 00:13:26,066 --> 00:13:27,546 Hey. 341 00:13:27,589 --> 00:13:30,029 How was your big, special day with your dad? 342 00:13:30,070 --> 00:13:31,850 Ugh. He brought Don in, 343 00:13:31,898 --> 00:13:34,028 so I think it was their big, special day. 344 00:13:34,074 --> 00:13:36,084 Aw. I'm sorry, honey. 345 00:13:36,119 --> 00:13:37,559 Ah, it's okay. 346 00:13:37,599 --> 00:13:38,599 I'm fine. 347 00:13:38,643 --> 00:13:40,383 I'm the number two son. 348 00:13:40,428 --> 00:13:43,738 If I'm that guy, I'm that guy. 349 00:13:43,779 --> 00:13:45,869 And being number two is not bad. 350 00:13:45,912 --> 00:13:47,612 No, like Batman and Robin. 351 00:13:47,652 --> 00:13:49,092 Sure, Batman gets all the glory, 352 00:13:49,132 --> 00:13:50,832 but Robin... [chuckles] 353 00:13:52,919 --> 00:13:56,179 Who am I kidding? Robin sucks. 354 00:13:56,226 --> 00:13:58,616 Adam, you've got to tell your dad how you feel. 355 00:13:58,663 --> 00:14:01,283 Look, I can't have a real conversation with that guy. 356 00:14:01,318 --> 00:14:03,888 You know, emotional stuff's your department. 357 00:14:03,930 --> 00:14:05,710 Well, if it makes you feel any better, 358 00:14:05,757 --> 00:14:07,277 I'm not great at your stuff, either. 359 00:14:07,324 --> 00:14:09,814 I mean, being married has made me soft. 360 00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:12,029 I mean, you do all the yucky stuff for me. 361 00:14:12,068 --> 00:14:13,288 But I thought you liked that. 362 00:14:13,330 --> 00:14:15,810 Well, I did, but now I just... 363 00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:17,935 I'm a little disappointed in myself, you know? 364 00:14:17,987 --> 00:14:19,337 I don't understand why I can't... [gasps] 365 00:14:19,380 --> 00:14:20,470 Adam, there's Brian. 366 00:14:20,511 --> 00:14:21,471 Get him. Get him.Okay. 367 00:14:21,512 --> 00:14:22,992 Uh... 368 00:14:23,036 --> 00:14:25,646 No. What? 369 00:14:25,690 --> 00:14:27,040 Pick up that snake, Andi. 370 00:14:27,083 --> 00:14:28,303 This is your moment. 371 00:14:28,345 --> 00:14:29,955 What? No, it's not. Yeah. 372 00:14:29,999 --> 00:14:32,179 You want to do it, right? So do it. 373 00:14:32,219 --> 00:14:33,179 Well, I can't. 374 00:14:33,220 --> 00:14:35,050 Yes, you can. Yes, you can. 375 00:14:35,091 --> 00:14:36,571 You remember when Teddy was little, 376 00:14:36,614 --> 00:14:37,834 and his nose was all stuffed up 377 00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:39,007 and you had to pull all that gunk out? 378 00:14:39,052 --> 00:14:40,532 And it just kept coming and coming 379 00:14:40,575 --> 00:14:42,485 and coming like a magician's scarf? 380 00:14:42,533 --> 00:14:44,753 Huh? Only it wasn't a scarf. 381 00:14:44,796 --> 00:14:47,016 It was a snot snake. 382 00:14:47,060 --> 00:14:49,760 That's much worse than a real snake. 383 00:14:49,801 --> 00:14:51,151 I did do that. 384 00:14:51,194 --> 00:14:53,504 Yes, you did and you can do this. 385 00:14:53,544 --> 00:14:55,594 Yeah. 386 00:14:55,633 --> 00:14:57,163 Okay. 387 00:14:57,200 --> 00:14:58,250 Yeah. I'm doing it. 388 00:14:58,288 --> 00:14:59,508 Okay. 389 00:14:59,550 --> 00:15:01,120 I'm doing it right now.Yeah. 390 00:15:03,815 --> 00:15:06,035 You got to get a little closer. 391 00:15:06,079 --> 00:15:07,819 Oh. 392 00:15:07,863 --> 00:15:09,003 Okay. 393 00:15:09,038 --> 00:15:11,388 Hey, little buddy. Come on. 394 00:15:11,432 --> 00:15:12,612 I'm gonna pick you up now. 395 00:15:12,650 --> 00:15:15,220 Here I come. 396 00:15:15,262 --> 00:15:17,742 Stay away from my eyeballs. 397 00:15:17,786 --> 00:15:19,086 Aah. 398 00:15:19,135 --> 00:15:20,745 Look at you. 399 00:15:20,789 --> 00:15:22,749 I know. I did it. 400 00:15:22,791 --> 00:15:24,531 [laughs]I did it! 401 00:15:24,575 --> 00:15:26,135 Oh, sorry, Brian. 402 00:15:27,665 --> 00:15:30,665 Aw. Hey, you know what? 403 00:15:30,712 --> 00:15:32,982 He is kind of cute. 404 00:15:33,019 --> 00:15:33,849 Mm. [chuckles] 405 00:15:33,889 --> 00:15:36,109 Hey, maybe we could keep him. 406 00:15:36,152 --> 00:15:37,412 What does he eat? 407 00:15:37,458 --> 00:15:38,678 Dead baby mice. 408 00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:40,070 So long, Brian. 409 00:15:40,113 --> 00:15:42,773 There you go. 410 00:15:44,552 --> 00:15:46,212 Hi, Andi. 411 00:15:46,249 --> 00:15:47,469 Hey, Joe. 412 00:15:47,511 --> 00:15:49,511 Enough small talk. Let's eat. 413 00:15:49,557 --> 00:15:51,167 You know, 414 00:15:51,211 --> 00:15:53,821 any time you make my mother's beef stew recipe, 415 00:15:53,865 --> 00:15:54,865 I come running. 416 00:15:54,910 --> 00:15:56,430 I do know that. 417 00:15:56,477 --> 00:15:57,997 And I-I told a little fib. 418 00:15:58,044 --> 00:15:59,924 Yeah, you're not here to have beef stew. 419 00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:02,219 You're here to have feelings with Adam. 420 00:16:02,265 --> 00:16:04,395 What? 421 00:16:04,441 --> 00:16:07,181 I smell Grandma's beef stew. 422 00:16:07,227 --> 00:16:09,967 [chuckles] Wait. 423 00:16:10,012 --> 00:16:11,752 What's he doing here? 424 00:16:11,796 --> 00:16:12,746 ANDI: I called your father 425 00:16:12,797 --> 00:16:14,187 over here because, you know, 426 00:16:14,234 --> 00:16:16,194 you helped me with my thing, 427 00:16:16,236 --> 00:16:18,886 so now I'm gonna help you with yours. 428 00:16:18,934 --> 00:16:21,424 [groans] This is your moment. 429 00:16:21,458 --> 00:16:23,678 [whispering]: Pick up that snake. 430 00:16:24,766 --> 00:16:25,896 I don't want to. 431 00:16:25,941 --> 00:16:27,771 Ah, no talking, no stew. 432 00:16:27,812 --> 00:16:29,732 All right? I will dump this in the sink right now. 433 00:16:29,771 --> 00:16:31,771 Okay, no, no, no, no.No, no, no, no. 434 00:16:33,601 --> 00:16:35,951 Let me see it. 435 00:16:37,953 --> 00:16:40,223 [groans] 436 00:16:40,260 --> 00:16:42,220 Damn, that looks good. 437 00:16:43,828 --> 00:16:46,568 Okay, fine. 438 00:16:46,614 --> 00:16:48,054 Okay. 439 00:16:48,094 --> 00:16:49,924 Then I will leave you to it. 440 00:16:49,965 --> 00:16:53,745 And if I don't hear feelings, the stew gets it. 441 00:17:04,197 --> 00:17:05,937 You got something to say to me? 442 00:17:05,981 --> 00:17:07,681 You got something to say to me? 443 00:17:09,506 --> 00:17:10,936 Okay, fine. I'll start. 444 00:17:13,336 --> 00:17:16,556 I thought we were gonna do the Burns system just the two of us, 445 00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:18,120 like you and Don always did. 446 00:17:18,167 --> 00:17:21,647 Then you brought him in and... 447 00:17:21,692 --> 00:17:23,562 I got my feelings hurt. 448 00:17:23,607 --> 00:17:25,647 That's what the yelling was all about? 449 00:17:25,696 --> 00:17:28,476 The Burns system was never a two-man operation. 450 00:17:28,525 --> 00:17:30,345 Well, then who else was in it? 451 00:17:30,397 --> 00:17:32,527 Some other guy I don't even know about? 452 00:17:32,573 --> 00:17:33,923 You! 453 00:17:33,965 --> 00:17:35,785 You were the kid in the car 454 00:17:35,837 --> 00:17:37,397 that had a baseball game to get to. 455 00:17:37,447 --> 00:17:39,747 You were our clock to rush the guy. 456 00:17:39,797 --> 00:17:41,887 Then why did Don always get to go inside? 457 00:17:41,930 --> 00:17:44,020 It had to be you inside the car. 458 00:17:44,063 --> 00:17:46,243 Nobody's gonna feel sorry for Don sitting out there 459 00:17:46,282 --> 00:17:49,682 with his head sticking out of the sun roof like a giraffe. 460 00:17:52,158 --> 00:17:53,718 So I was in it. 461 00:17:53,768 --> 00:17:56,248 Yeah. 462 00:17:56,292 --> 00:17:58,992 There was never a Burns system without you. 463 00:18:03,560 --> 00:18:05,610 I see. 464 00:18:05,649 --> 00:18:07,429 What's the matter? 465 00:18:07,477 --> 00:18:12,127 I got something in my eye again. 466 00:18:12,178 --> 00:18:14,138 Must be allergy season.Yeah. 467 00:18:14,180 --> 00:18:15,490 You got something in your eye, too? 468 00:18:15,529 --> 00:18:16,829 No. 469 00:18:16,878 --> 00:18:19,228 I'm just 470 00:18:19,272 --> 00:18:21,142 sorry that we didn't close the deal. 471 00:18:21,187 --> 00:18:22,667 Yeah, what happened back there? 472 00:18:22,710 --> 00:18:23,750 Why didn't you buy the car? 473 00:18:23,798 --> 00:18:25,148 It's not important. 474 00:18:26,627 --> 00:18:28,407 Andi, Dad won't tell me what he's feeling. 475 00:18:28,455 --> 00:18:31,845 All right. All... all right. 476 00:18:31,893 --> 00:18:35,333 The thing is, when I went to close the deal, 477 00:18:35,375 --> 00:18:38,935 the salesman said that that car would last me a good 15 years. 478 00:18:38,987 --> 00:18:40,247 So? 479 00:18:40,293 --> 00:18:43,173 So, I-I realized this might be my last car. 480 00:18:43,209 --> 00:18:46,169 It just kind of hit me. 481 00:18:46,212 --> 00:18:48,562 Oh. 482 00:18:51,391 --> 00:18:54,221 Well... I get it. 483 00:18:55,308 --> 00:18:57,178 It happens. 484 00:18:58,398 --> 00:19:01,358 I fell asleep sitting in a chair at Ikea the other day. 485 00:19:02,489 --> 00:19:04,799 That's not something a young man does. 486 00:19:04,839 --> 00:19:06,359 [chuckles] 487 00:19:06,406 --> 00:19:08,536 Listen, napping is one of the perks of old age. 488 00:19:08,582 --> 00:19:10,632 We should go to a baseball game together. 489 00:19:10,671 --> 00:19:13,461 That's a good three and a half hour siesta. 490 00:19:15,676 --> 00:19:18,716 Hey, I got an idea. Huh? 491 00:19:18,766 --> 00:19:20,806 Let's lease you a car. 492 00:19:20,855 --> 00:19:22,595 Those only last a couple years. 493 00:19:22,639 --> 00:19:24,819 Oh, I like the sound of that. 494 00:19:24,859 --> 00:19:25,899 Good. 495 00:19:25,947 --> 00:19:27,207 Yeah, good. 496 00:19:27,253 --> 00:19:29,653 Listen, um, 497 00:19:29,690 --> 00:19:32,130 don't tell Don about what I-I told you. 498 00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:34,911 He doesn't like to talk about feelings like you do. 499 00:19:34,956 --> 00:19:36,256 Oh. 500 00:19:36,305 --> 00:19:38,215 Because you guys aren't as close as we are? 501 00:19:38,264 --> 00:19:42,794 No. Because he lacks your overabundance of lady hormones. 502 00:19:44,618 --> 00:19:46,788 [both chuckle] 503 00:19:51,407 --> 00:19:52,967 Aw, I'm really proud of you both. 504 00:19:53,017 --> 00:19:54,847 Hey. Here, look at me. 505 00:19:54,889 --> 00:19:57,499 Say "feelings." 506 00:20:00,634 --> 00:20:02,724 Oh! That's going on the Christmas card 507 00:20:02,766 --> 00:20:04,586 and you can't stop me. 508 00:20:04,638 --> 00:20:07,418 She's bossy, but she sure makes a fine stew. 509 00:20:07,467 --> 00:20:09,597 Well, she's good at a lot of things. 510 00:20:09,643 --> 00:20:11,823 You should see her handle a snake. 511 00:20:17,085 --> 00:20:19,645 I don't want to hear about your private life. 512 00:20:23,309 --> 00:20:25,529 What's happening? ANDI: Hey, Don. 513 00:20:25,572 --> 00:20:29,362 It's stew night and nobody called me? 514 00:20:29,402 --> 00:20:30,932 Come on. There's plenty. 515 00:20:30,968 --> 00:20:33,748 Already picked out most of the good stuff, anyway. 516 00:20:37,758 --> 00:20:39,368 What's wrong with you? 517 00:20:39,412 --> 00:20:41,332 I just bought a car. 518 00:20:44,591 --> 00:20:46,551 The salesman offered me free Perrier 519 00:20:46,593 --> 00:20:47,903 and the next thing I know, I'm driving home 520 00:20:47,942 --> 00:20:50,162 in a new 15-passenger van. 521 00:20:52,599 --> 00:20:54,909 I don't even know 15 people. 522 00:20:54,949 --> 00:20:55,949 Captioning sponsored by CBS 523 00:20:59,867 --> 00:21:01,867 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org