1
00:00:03,264 --> 00:00:05,404
This is such a fun way
to celebrate

2
00:00:05,440 --> 00:00:07,360
you guys finishing
the mini mall.

3
00:00:07,398 --> 00:00:09,748
Hey, did Lisa say what
our next project is?
Mm-mm.

4
00:00:09,792 --> 00:00:13,402
The next project
I will be working on is...

5
00:00:13,448 --> 00:00:14,748
myself!

6
00:00:14,797 --> 00:00:16,577
I'm going
on sabbatical.

7
00:00:16,625 --> 00:00:18,365
So what are we gonna
be building?

8
00:00:18,409 --> 00:00:19,929
Well, I don't know
about you two,

9
00:00:19,976 --> 00:00:21,976
but I'll be building a new me.

10
00:00:22,022 --> 00:00:25,372
She might have to take that
thing down to the studs.

11
00:00:25,416 --> 00:00:28,376
We just lost our jobs.

12
00:00:28,419 --> 00:00:30,469
This commercial is important
to Burns Brothers,

13
00:00:30,508 --> 00:00:32,288
so I think I should meet
the guy who's playing me.

14
00:00:32,336 --> 00:00:34,296
I'm Leif Forrest.
I'm sorry?

15
00:00:34,338 --> 00:00:35,818
Leif... Forrest.

16
00:00:35,861 --> 00:00:37,561
[laughing]

17
00:00:37,602 --> 00:00:40,342
What's the matter?
I just got laid off.

18
00:00:40,388 --> 00:00:42,218
I guess now
neither of us are working.

19
00:00:43,956 --> 00:00:45,386
[horn honking]

20
00:00:45,436 --> 00:00:47,786
Oh, okay, kids.
Your carpool's here.

21
00:00:47,830 --> 00:00:50,400
You guys aren't
going anywhere today?

22
00:00:50,441 --> 00:00:53,101
Teddy, I told you
we're temporarily unemployed.

23
00:00:53,140 --> 00:00:54,450
I want to be unemployed.

24
00:00:54,489 --> 00:00:57,409
Oh, you will be.

25
00:00:57,448 --> 00:01:00,318
Okay, let's not be
so honest. Come on.

26
00:01:02,497 --> 00:01:05,107
So we're busting
our humps all day

27
00:01:05,152 --> 00:01:06,542
while you two get
to sit around?

28
00:01:06,588 --> 00:01:09,458
Yeah, it's like
we're the kids now.

29
00:01:09,504 --> 00:01:11,724
Bring us back some food
and money.

30
00:01:13,856 --> 00:01:15,546
[giggles]
[giggles]

31
00:01:15,597 --> 00:01:17,817
Ah, look at us.

32
00:01:17,860 --> 00:01:19,510
We got the house
to ourselves.

33
00:01:19,557 --> 00:01:22,387
You know, we should
make the most of this.

34
00:01:22,430 --> 00:01:24,610
Yeah, well, we're not
gonna be unemployed long.

35
00:01:24,649 --> 00:01:27,609
I got my commercial running,
you sent out résumés.

36
00:01:27,652 --> 00:01:31,612
Oh, and they really stand out
'cause they include a bribe.

37
00:01:31,656 --> 00:01:34,656
See, I clipped a Starbucks
gift card to each one.

38
00:01:34,703 --> 00:01:37,313
Andi, those
things cost money.

39
00:01:37,358 --> 00:01:39,838
Not if you don't
put any money on it.

40
00:01:39,882 --> 00:01:42,842
That's my girl.

41
00:01:42,885 --> 00:01:46,575
[laughs]
My thrifty,
morally-challenged girl.

42
00:01:46,628 --> 00:01:49,368
[laughs]
See, this is what
I'm talking about.

43
00:01:49,413 --> 00:01:51,683
We should just enjoy
being together.

44
00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:54,590
Yeah. You're my
favorite person.

45
00:01:54,636 --> 00:01:56,676
I'm your favorite person.

46
00:01:56,725 --> 00:01:58,505
We're like those two
trees in the backyard

47
00:01:58,553 --> 00:02:00,083
that grow closer
together every year.

48
00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:02,640
Oh. That is poetic.

49
00:02:02,687 --> 00:02:04,557
I love your stories.

50
00:02:04,602 --> 00:02:06,742
It's so charming
how you see the world.
Oh.

51
00:02:06,778 --> 00:02:08,948
You know, that boy tree
is ten years younger

52
00:02:08,998 --> 00:02:11,168
than the girl tree.
Pretty good for her, huh?

53
00:02:11,218 --> 00:02:12,438
Yeah.

54
00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:14,350
[both laughing]

55
00:02:14,395 --> 00:02:16,525
Oh, yeah, come on. Get
those puppies up here.

56
00:02:16,571 --> 00:02:18,491
[laughs]
So...
[clears throat]

57
00:02:18,529 --> 00:02:20,099
What should we do today?

58
00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:23,490
I say that we watch TV,
and only get up

59
00:02:23,534 --> 00:02:26,494
when we need to replace
the batteries in the remote.

60
00:02:26,537 --> 00:02:28,097
I do not deserve you.

61
00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:29,578
[giggles]

62
00:02:29,627 --> 00:02:32,497
No man does.

63
00:02:40,682 --> 00:02:43,252
Yesterday when I was
getting the mail,

64
00:02:43,293 --> 00:02:47,383
I saw this caterpillar inching
his way down the sidewalk.

65
00:02:47,428 --> 00:02:49,388
It looked exactly like...

66
00:02:49,430 --> 00:02:50,870
BOTH:
The neighbor lady's mustache.

67
00:02:50,909 --> 00:02:52,129
Yeah.

68
00:02:53,956 --> 00:02:55,996
You've told
that story twice.

69
00:02:56,045 --> 00:02:59,175
Thought I was poetic.

70
00:02:59,222 --> 00:03:02,572
People repeat poems.

71
00:03:02,617 --> 00:03:05,527
Might I remind you of the
"Man from Nantucket" series?

72
00:03:05,576 --> 00:03:07,576
As in, "There once was
a man from Nantucket"?

73
00:03:07,622 --> 00:03:10,102
Okay, yeah, yeah, I got it.

74
00:03:11,626 --> 00:03:14,056
[sighs]

75
00:03:16,283 --> 00:03:19,553
Uh... what's this?

76
00:03:20,635 --> 00:03:22,505
My puppies.
[laughs]

77
00:03:22,550 --> 00:03:25,510
[barks]:
Arf, arf.

78
00:03:27,685 --> 00:03:29,725
Foot person gets
the remote, too?

79
00:03:29,774 --> 00:03:31,824
Ugh. I guess the
rich get richer.

80
00:03:31,863 --> 00:03:34,433
What's wrong?

81
00:03:34,475 --> 00:03:37,125
I just can't
sit around all day

82
00:03:37,173 --> 00:03:38,783
with your hot
feet in my lap

83
00:03:38,827 --> 00:03:40,607
watching reruns of
the Gilmore Girls.

84
00:03:40,655 --> 00:03:42,605
I get it. You had
your daughter young.

85
00:03:42,657 --> 00:03:45,137
Move on. You're
making me crazy!

86
00:03:47,052 --> 00:03:49,622
Okay, well, you want
to watch Rush Hour 3again

87
00:03:49,664 --> 00:03:52,454
so you can say every line
along with the actors?

88
00:03:52,493 --> 00:03:54,973
I do that?

89
00:03:55,017 --> 00:03:57,237
[chuckling]:
Yeah. It's funny.

90
00:03:57,280 --> 00:04:00,150
At first.
Oh.

91
00:04:00,196 --> 00:04:04,236
Look, I love you
very much, but...

92
00:04:04,287 --> 00:04:06,197
Okay, I'm just gonna say it.

93
00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:08,026
I'm sick of being around you.

94
00:04:08,073 --> 00:04:10,553
That is music to my ears.

95
00:04:11,599 --> 00:04:13,559
I'm sick of being
around you, too!

96
00:04:13,601 --> 00:04:15,121
[laughs]

97
00:04:15,167 --> 00:04:16,687
We are so cute.

98
00:04:16,734 --> 00:04:20,304
Hey, so, how do we get you
back to work?
Ugh.

99
00:04:20,347 --> 00:04:23,477
You know, I mean, do we go out
and knock on some doors

100
00:04:23,524 --> 00:04:25,274
and see who needs
new kitchens?

101
00:04:25,308 --> 00:04:27,308
The quickest way to
put me back to work is

102
00:04:27,354 --> 00:04:29,704
to get Lisa McCaffrey
out of her cuckoo's nest.

103
00:04:30,879 --> 00:04:32,839
So let's take her out
for drinks.

104
00:04:32,881 --> 00:04:35,451
Maybe we can speed
this whole thing up,

105
00:04:35,492 --> 00:04:39,192
you know, patch the cracks
in her attic.

106
00:04:39,235 --> 00:04:40,495
That's a great idea.

107
00:04:40,541 --> 00:04:43,021
We're a great team.
We are.

108
00:04:43,065 --> 00:04:44,585
We were meant
to be together.

109
00:04:44,632 --> 00:04:47,202
Just not all the time.

110
00:04:47,243 --> 00:04:49,723
Exactly.
[both laugh]

111
00:04:49,767 --> 00:04:51,727
I'm gonna go read a book
in the pantry.

112
00:04:51,769 --> 00:04:54,289
Anywhere but
here, baby.

113
00:04:54,337 --> 00:04:55,987
Ha!

114
00:04:57,079 --> 00:04:59,079
♪

115
00:05:07,089 --> 00:05:09,349
I'm just saying, if you'd
seen the caterpillar,

116
00:05:09,396 --> 00:05:10,916
you'd like the story better.

117
00:05:10,962 --> 00:05:13,182
It looked exactly
like a mustache.

118
00:05:13,225 --> 00:05:15,785
It was Tom Selleck
on a sidewalk.

119
00:05:15,837 --> 00:05:17,227
Stay focused, okay?

120
00:05:17,273 --> 00:05:18,803
We've got to cheer Lisa up

121
00:05:18,840 --> 00:05:20,320
so we can get both of you
back to work.

122
00:05:20,363 --> 00:05:22,633
This morning,
I needed alone time so bad,

123
00:05:22,670 --> 00:05:24,370
almost went on a walk.

124
00:05:24,411 --> 00:05:26,331
A walk, Adam.

125
00:05:28,153 --> 00:05:29,813
Here she comes.
Okay, remember,

126
00:05:29,851 --> 00:05:31,331
this is just a patch job.

127
00:05:31,374 --> 00:05:33,034
We're not responsible
for any structural problems.

128
00:05:33,071 --> 00:05:35,511
And no matter
what she says,

129
00:05:35,552 --> 00:05:36,952
we tell her she's
making progress, okay?

130
00:05:36,988 --> 00:05:37,948
Got it.
Hey, hey!

131
00:05:37,989 --> 00:05:39,299
Hi.
Hello, you two.

132
00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:40,909
Lisa.
[laughs]

133
00:05:40,949 --> 00:05:42,469
[sighs]
Ah, it's so good
to see you.

134
00:05:42,516 --> 00:05:44,036
How-how you doing?
Oh.

135
00:05:44,082 --> 00:05:47,092
Wildly depressed.

136
00:05:47,129 --> 00:05:49,219
I haven't felt this lonely
since my divorce.

137
00:05:49,261 --> 00:05:51,261
I started talking
to my reflection in the mirror,

138
00:05:51,307 --> 00:05:52,917
but conversation is difficult

139
00:05:52,961 --> 00:05:55,571
because we keep interrupting
each other.

140
00:05:55,616 --> 00:05:59,746
That right there-- that
is textbook progress.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

141
00:05:59,794 --> 00:06:01,674
I say it's time
to get back on the job.

142
00:06:01,709 --> 00:06:03,319
Yeah, that's true.
Yeah, yeah.

143
00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:04,933
Studies show

144
00:06:04,973 --> 00:06:08,243
that people who quit working
die almost immediately.
Hmm.

145
00:06:08,280 --> 00:06:09,500
Well, the way I've been feeling,

146
00:06:09,543 --> 00:06:11,853
it could be months
before I get back to work.

147
00:06:11,893 --> 00:06:13,943
Hmm.
Well...

148
00:06:13,982 --> 00:06:16,032
You know what?
Uh, I should go.

149
00:06:16,071 --> 00:06:19,861
It's, uh, difficult for me
to be around couples right now,

150
00:06:19,901 --> 00:06:22,211
especially old ones like you

151
00:06:22,251 --> 00:06:25,121
who've made it through most
of their lives together.

152
00:06:26,821 --> 00:06:29,081
Okay, bye.

153
00:06:32,609 --> 00:06:36,089
That's the meanest
compliment we've ever gotten.

154
00:06:36,134 --> 00:06:39,184
Yeah, but at least now
we know what she needs.

155
00:06:39,224 --> 00:06:40,314
Yeah. A straitjacket.

156
00:06:40,356 --> 00:06:42,176
No. A man.

157
00:06:42,227 --> 00:06:44,577
Yeah, a man to put on
the straitjacket,

158
00:06:44,621 --> 00:06:46,581
'cause you can't put
those on by yourself.

159
00:06:46,623 --> 00:06:48,363
That's why magicians
have assistants.

160
00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:50,888
Okay, look, Lisa said
she was too lonely to work,

161
00:06:50,932 --> 00:06:53,542
and I get it. It's-it's...
it's hard on your own.

162
00:06:53,587 --> 00:06:58,067
So if we fix her up
with someone, we fix her.

163
00:06:58,113 --> 00:07:01,033
Yeah, having someone at
home really makes you want

164
00:07:01,072 --> 00:07:02,512
to get out of the house.

165
00:07:02,552 --> 00:07:04,162
Let's make
a love connection, Adam.

166
00:07:04,206 --> 00:07:06,156
Great. All right, let's go home.

167
00:07:06,208 --> 00:07:07,558
I'll make a list of
some guys I don't like.

168
00:07:07,601 --> 00:07:09,171
Spit that out. We can't
afford to eat here.

169
00:07:12,214 --> 00:07:13,964
I can't think of anyone

170
00:07:13,998 --> 00:07:15,998
I dislike enough to
set up with Lisa.

171
00:07:16,044 --> 00:07:19,574
Do we know anyone
who just got out of prison?

172
00:07:19,613 --> 00:07:21,483
I mean, you know,
those guys aren't picky,

173
00:07:21,528 --> 00:07:23,398
and they're used
to crazy roommates.

174
00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:26,233
Okay, uh, hey, listen, before
we go in there, fair warning.

175
00:07:26,271 --> 00:07:27,751
I am laying down
on that couch.

176
00:07:27,795 --> 00:07:30,185
Now, it's fine if you
want to sit on top of me,

177
00:07:30,232 --> 00:07:32,232
but just be prepared to
finish what you start.

178
00:07:32,277 --> 00:07:33,757
Okay.

179
00:07:34,802 --> 00:07:38,152
Aw, come on!

180
00:07:38,196 --> 00:07:41,156
Unemployment blows.

181
00:07:41,199 --> 00:07:42,679
Yeah, tell me about it.

182
00:07:42,723 --> 00:07:44,463
I'm looking at a guy with
my pillow between his legs.

183
00:07:47,728 --> 00:07:50,118
Check it out. Rush Hour 3.

184
00:07:50,165 --> 00:07:52,775
Ooh.
Hey.

185
00:07:52,820 --> 00:07:54,390
Just got dark.
That means it's not weird

186
00:07:54,430 --> 00:07:56,260
for me to go to bed.
Good night, guys.

187
00:07:57,564 --> 00:08:00,394
[groans]

188
00:08:00,436 --> 00:08:03,306
Hey, so listen,
we just saw Lisa.
Yeah.

189
00:08:03,352 --> 00:08:05,532
She's depressed
because she's lonely.

190
00:08:05,572 --> 00:08:09,402
Andi thinks we can get her back
to work if we find her a guy.

191
00:08:09,445 --> 00:08:10,785
That makes sense.

192
00:08:10,838 --> 00:08:12,488
When she realized
she couldn't have me,

193
00:08:12,535 --> 00:08:14,095
she started
going downhill.

194
00:08:14,145 --> 00:08:16,535
So who's the
unlucky fella?

195
00:08:16,583 --> 00:08:18,023
Well, I don't know yet,

196
00:08:18,062 --> 00:08:19,592
but it shouldn't be
that hard to find one.

197
00:08:19,629 --> 00:08:21,199
Yeah.
Getting a girl
is hard.

198
00:08:21,239 --> 00:08:23,199
Getting a guy
who wantsa girl is easy.

199
00:08:23,241 --> 00:08:25,811
All we got to do is tell him
we got a girl.

200
00:08:25,853 --> 00:08:27,333
Yeah, I mean,
we got the beer.

201
00:08:27,376 --> 00:08:29,416
We're just looking
for the party.

202
00:08:29,465 --> 00:08:31,075
Yeah.
Yeah.

203
00:08:31,119 --> 00:08:32,859
Look, I know playing
matchmaker's a little weird,

204
00:08:32,903 --> 00:08:34,513
but I got
to do something.
Yeah.

205
00:08:34,557 --> 00:08:36,557
Andi and I are spending
all our time together,

206
00:08:36,603 --> 00:08:39,743
and I just discovered--
I can be a lot to take.

207
00:08:39,780 --> 00:08:42,910
Yeah, me, too, but I
didn't have to discover.

208
00:08:42,957 --> 00:08:44,867
Marcy told me ten minutes
before I got here.

209
00:08:44,915 --> 00:08:47,305
Hmm.
Yeah. When I walk in the door,

210
00:08:47,352 --> 00:08:49,752
I want my wife
to be happy to see me,

211
00:08:49,790 --> 00:08:53,620
and the key to that
is less of me.

212
00:08:53,663 --> 00:08:56,103
All right.
I just wish we had
another place to hang out.

213
00:08:56,144 --> 00:08:57,364
[sighs]

214
00:08:57,406 --> 00:08:58,966
Hey, you got
the basement.

215
00:08:59,016 --> 00:09:00,576
Let's move a couch
and a TV down there.

216
00:09:00,627 --> 00:09:03,187
Oh, I'd love to,
but it won't fit.
There's no room.

217
00:09:03,238 --> 00:09:04,808
Aah.
Andi's giant treadmill's
down there.

218
00:09:04,848 --> 00:09:06,848
[sighs]
Does she use it?

219
00:09:06,894 --> 00:09:09,424
Shh!

220
00:09:09,461 --> 00:09:11,251
We don't talk about it.

221
00:09:11,289 --> 00:09:13,939
Well, so ask her if
you can get rid of it.

222
00:09:13,988 --> 00:09:16,378
What are you, a newlywed?

223
00:09:16,425 --> 00:09:18,115
No.
Huh?

224
00:09:18,166 --> 00:09:20,776
Everyone knows you can't talk
to women about exercising.

225
00:09:20,821 --> 00:09:23,821
The last time I mentioned it,
it did not go well.

226
00:09:26,609 --> 00:09:29,959
Hey, yoga pants, heading down
to the basement to exercise?

227
00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:33,660
Well, I am now.

228
00:09:38,534 --> 00:09:40,284
That was a quiet weekend.

229
00:09:40,318 --> 00:09:42,488
Ooh.
I know what I'll do.

230
00:09:42,538 --> 00:09:45,278
I'll just throw it away,
and I won't say anything.

231
00:09:45,323 --> 00:09:46,983
That could work.

232
00:09:47,021 --> 00:09:49,371
That's what I do when
Marcy cooks a meatloaf.

233
00:09:53,288 --> 00:09:55,378
LOWELL:
I'm so glad

234
00:09:55,420 --> 00:09:57,810
you guys called. I've been
stuck home with my kids.

235
00:09:57,858 --> 00:10:01,298
They tell the same stories
over and over.

236
00:10:01,339 --> 00:10:04,339
Lowell, if it's a good
story, it never gets old.

237
00:10:04,386 --> 00:10:06,336
Okay, come on, guys.

238
00:10:06,388 --> 00:10:08,478
We got to figure out
who to set Lisa up with.
Mm.

239
00:10:08,520 --> 00:10:09,700
We need a gentleman.

240
00:10:09,739 --> 00:10:11,439
I'll check out the bathroom,
and come back

241
00:10:11,480 --> 00:10:12,920
with the first guy
who washes his hands.

242
00:10:16,354 --> 00:10:18,234
Okay, check out
the guy behind me.

243
00:10:18,269 --> 00:10:19,269
His date is a book.

244
00:10:19,314 --> 00:10:20,454
Watch this.
Oh, yeah.

245
00:10:22,491 --> 00:10:26,021
Hey, uh, I noticed
you were alone, and, uh...

246
00:10:26,060 --> 00:10:28,410
we've got a girl.

247
00:10:28,453 --> 00:10:31,283
That sounds creepy.

248
00:10:31,326 --> 00:10:35,026
[chuckles]: No, no.
She's not in a cage or anything.

249
00:10:35,069 --> 00:10:36,679
Listen, I know the manager.

250
00:10:36,723 --> 00:10:37,943
What's your name?

251
00:10:37,985 --> 00:10:40,725
Uh, Lowell. My name's Lowell.

252
00:10:47,124 --> 00:10:48,694
I think we might need
the actual girl here

253
00:10:48,735 --> 00:10:50,385
for this to work.
Yeah.

254
00:10:50,432 --> 00:10:52,392
You're-you're
overcomplicating it.

255
00:10:52,434 --> 00:10:54,654
See leather jacket over there?
Yeah.

256
00:10:54,697 --> 00:10:56,567
I'll just tell him
what I wanted people to tell me

257
00:10:56,612 --> 00:10:57,662
when I was
sitting alone in bars.

258
00:10:57,700 --> 00:10:59,440
Watch.

259
00:11:02,574 --> 00:11:03,754
Hey, big guy.

260
00:11:03,793 --> 00:11:05,193
You look strong.

261
00:11:07,188 --> 00:11:08,928
What'd you say to me?

262
00:11:08,972 --> 00:11:10,582
Nothing. My name's Lowell.

263
00:11:11,627 --> 00:11:13,537
Yeah, I-I'm out of here.

264
00:11:13,585 --> 00:11:16,145
I'm going home.
Wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait. Sit down.

265
00:11:16,197 --> 00:11:18,417
We got to find a guy for Lisa
so we can get back to work.

266
00:11:18,460 --> 00:11:20,770
[sighs]
The men's room was a bad idea.

267
00:11:20,810 --> 00:11:22,200
I made a mistake
by leading with,

268
00:11:22,246 --> 00:11:23,416
"Are you looking
for a good time?"

269
00:11:25,075 --> 00:11:27,855
Frankly, I'm lucky to be alive.

270
00:11:27,904 --> 00:11:29,474
Well, we're not doing
much better out here.

271
00:11:29,514 --> 00:11:32,044
Oh, and if anybody asks,
your name is not Lowell.

272
00:11:33,344 --> 00:11:35,304
Wait, wait,
what about this guy?

273
00:11:35,346 --> 00:11:36,606
The chicken wing model.

274
00:11:36,652 --> 00:11:38,742
That's Leif Forrest,
the actor we hired

275
00:11:38,785 --> 00:11:40,475
to replace you
in the commercial.

276
00:11:40,525 --> 00:11:42,825
Lisa would like him.
He's single and handsome.

277
00:11:42,876 --> 00:11:44,616
We fired him.
He doesn't like us.

278
00:11:44,660 --> 00:11:47,400
But he likes me. He accidentally
put me into a group text,

279
00:11:47,445 --> 00:11:49,965
and I've been quite active.

280
00:11:50,013 --> 00:11:53,413
Well, if you can get him
on board, I'm all for it.

281
00:11:53,451 --> 00:11:55,281
Great. I'll have him
meet us for lunch.

282
00:11:55,323 --> 00:11:56,853
We don't want
one of these guys, anyway.

283
00:11:56,890 --> 00:11:58,720
Word in the bathroom
is there's a creep here

284
00:11:58,761 --> 00:12:00,591
saying he's got a lady
in a cage.

285
00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:11,690
Hey.
Hey.

286
00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:13,301
Okay, so, Marcy and I

287
00:12:13,341 --> 00:12:14,691
will get Lisa on board
with this blind date thing.

288
00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:15,954
Okay, great.
And then Don and I

289
00:12:15,996 --> 00:12:17,946
will work on
Pittsburgh's gift to acting,

290
00:12:17,998 --> 00:12:19,558
Leif Forrest.

291
00:12:20,827 --> 00:12:22,087
If we play this right,
I will have a job

292
00:12:22,132 --> 00:12:23,832
to go to every day.

293
00:12:23,873 --> 00:12:25,613
It's gonna be nice
to miss you, baby.

294
00:12:25,657 --> 00:12:28,657
[chuckles]

295
00:12:28,704 --> 00:12:30,404
Oh, Andi, come quick!

296
00:12:30,445 --> 00:12:32,265
Is it the caterpillar?

297
00:12:33,622 --> 00:12:36,492
How do you not want to see it?

298
00:12:38,235 --> 00:12:39,575
ADAM:
Okay, listen.

299
00:12:39,628 --> 00:12:40,848
All we got to do
is convince this guy

300
00:12:40,890 --> 00:12:42,150
to hook up with Lisa

301
00:12:42,196 --> 00:12:43,756
and take a ride
down Bonkers Boulevard.

302
00:12:43,806 --> 00:12:44,976
[chuckles]

303
00:12:45,025 --> 00:12:46,635
Go for a swim
in Lunatic Lake.

304
00:12:46,678 --> 00:12:47,548
[laughs]:
Yeah.

305
00:12:47,592 --> 00:12:49,162
Hop on the
Screw Loose Caboose.

306
00:12:49,203 --> 00:12:50,513
[chuckles]
Oh, shh, shh, shh. Here he is.

307
00:12:50,552 --> 00:12:53,562
Adam, Don, you remember Leif.
Sure we do.

308
00:12:53,598 --> 00:12:54,948
From when we fired you.

309
00:12:54,991 --> 00:12:57,821
Ah, it's okay. I'm
used to hostility.

310
00:12:57,864 --> 00:13:00,524
Regular looking people don't
know how to deal with me.

311
00:13:00,562 --> 00:13:02,432
Yeah. Uh, have a seat.

312
00:13:02,477 --> 00:13:05,697
Okay.

313
00:13:05,741 --> 00:13:07,001
[clears throat] Um...

314
00:13:07,047 --> 00:13:08,567
Leif, I know we've had
our differences,

315
00:13:08,613 --> 00:13:10,443
but the reason
we brought you here is...

316
00:13:10,485 --> 00:13:12,435
we've got a girl.

317
00:13:12,487 --> 00:13:14,357
Never been in a cage.

318
00:13:14,402 --> 00:13:16,192
She's cage-free,
like those chickens.

319
00:13:18,058 --> 00:13:19,538
Look, she's a friend of ours,
and she's single.

320
00:13:19,581 --> 00:13:21,711
And my gut tells me
she has not been mingled with

321
00:13:21,757 --> 00:13:23,017
in quite some time.

322
00:13:23,063 --> 00:13:25,333
And we thought you might be
a good match for her.

323
00:13:25,369 --> 00:13:27,279
Yeah. We felt bad
for firing you.

324
00:13:27,328 --> 00:13:30,548
The least we could do is find
you a lovemaking partner.

325
00:13:30,592 --> 00:13:33,162
I'm listening.

326
00:13:33,203 --> 00:13:36,033
So, Adam and I
couldn't help but notice

327
00:13:36,076 --> 00:13:38,726
that you're sort of missing
a companion in your life.

328
00:13:38,774 --> 00:13:40,914
You know, and we both love
being in relationships.

329
00:13:40,950 --> 00:13:42,560
[chuckles]
Most of the time.

330
00:13:42,604 --> 00:13:44,484
But, um, we thought
we could help.

331
00:13:44,519 --> 00:13:46,299
Oh, you would do that?

332
00:13:46,347 --> 00:13:47,697
Well, it might be nice

333
00:13:47,739 --> 00:13:50,089
to share my life
with someone special.

334
00:13:50,133 --> 00:13:53,533
Well, great. So what kind
of man are you looking for?
Hmm.

335
00:13:53,571 --> 00:13:56,051
A handsome doctor.

336
00:13:56,096 --> 00:13:57,876
Well, I don't want
to be shallow about this.

337
00:13:57,924 --> 00:14:00,274
Just handsome.

338
00:14:00,317 --> 00:14:02,837
I can't believe
you're single.

339
00:14:02,885 --> 00:14:05,975
[chuckles]
It's just...
[mimics explosion]

340
00:14:06,019 --> 00:14:07,409
And I've always had a thing

341
00:14:07,455 --> 00:14:09,585
for spirited,
unpredictable women.

342
00:14:09,631 --> 00:14:12,761
Oh, really?

343
00:14:12,808 --> 00:14:16,418
I know it sounds weird,
but I like crazy.

344
00:14:16,464 --> 00:14:18,254
[chuckles]
Well, I know a crazy

345
00:14:18,292 --> 00:14:21,252
that might like you.
[chuckles]

346
00:14:21,295 --> 00:14:23,905
I also want a guy who's
financially dependent on me

347
00:14:23,950 --> 00:14:28,430
so I can have the upper hand
and constantly lord it over him.

348
00:14:28,476 --> 00:14:31,216
My God, you're a monster.

349
00:14:32,045 --> 00:14:33,385
Of love.
[chuckles]

350
00:14:33,437 --> 00:14:35,607
Huh? Right.
Yes, a...

351
00:14:35,657 --> 00:14:39,487
a cuddly, bone-chilling
love monster.

352
00:14:40,618 --> 00:14:43,708
Not only is our friend
delightfully unstable,

353
00:14:43,752 --> 00:14:46,802
she also happens to earn
a pretty good living.

354
00:14:46,842 --> 00:14:48,632
[exhales] That's great.

355
00:14:48,670 --> 00:14:49,850
It's tough

356
00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:51,759
making ends meet
as an actor in Pittsburgh.

357
00:14:51,803 --> 00:14:53,633
They don't appreciate art
around here.

358
00:14:53,675 --> 00:14:56,455
I mean,
I can do seven different faces,

359
00:14:56,504 --> 00:14:58,644
and they are all
totally different.

360
00:14:58,680 --> 00:15:00,030
They're really good. Show them.

361
00:15:00,073 --> 00:15:01,203
Do angry.

362
00:15:01,248 --> 00:15:04,378
You had to pick
the one that I can't do.

363
00:15:04,425 --> 00:15:06,595
That seemed angry to me.

364
00:15:06,644 --> 00:15:08,734
[laughing]:
Well, all right.

365
00:15:08,777 --> 00:15:11,737
That makes eight.

366
00:15:11,780 --> 00:15:13,350
So, are you in?

367
00:15:16,393 --> 00:15:18,053
We're doing it.

368
00:15:21,442 --> 00:15:22,922
Thanks for coming, Leif.
Sure.

369
00:15:22,965 --> 00:15:24,355
She's a rich nutjob.

370
00:15:24,401 --> 00:15:25,791
I'm just glad
you called me first.

371
00:15:27,839 --> 00:15:30,409
He's so pretty,
it's a shame to give him away.

372
00:15:30,451 --> 00:15:32,151
Hey.

373
00:15:32,192 --> 00:15:34,022
Eyes over here, mama.
Oh.

374
00:15:34,063 --> 00:15:35,673
Uh, why don't you guys
go into the living room,

375
00:15:35,717 --> 00:15:37,147
have some hors d'oeuvres,
and we'll be right in.

376
00:15:37,197 --> 00:15:38,677
So, Leif,

377
00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:39,810
what kind of name is that?

378
00:15:39,851 --> 00:15:41,721
Oh, it's my first name.

379
00:15:44,726 --> 00:15:46,376
You know,

380
00:15:46,423 --> 00:15:47,863
I think this could
actually work.

381
00:15:47,903 --> 00:15:49,603
Lisa's an emotional iceberg,

382
00:15:49,644 --> 00:15:51,824
and he's got the brain
of a penguin.

383
00:15:51,863 --> 00:15:55,003
Yeah, if these two hit it off,
she's going back to work,

384
00:15:55,041 --> 00:15:56,781
which means you're
going back to work.

385
00:15:56,825 --> 00:15:57,775
Yeah, which means
I'll have a bunch

386
00:15:57,826 --> 00:15:58,956
of new stories to tell you.
Yeah.

387
00:15:59,001 --> 00:16:00,481
And you'll be telling them

388
00:16:00,524 --> 00:16:02,004
without my feet in your lap.
Yeah.

389
00:16:02,048 --> 00:16:03,748
All right,
let's go close this deal.

390
00:16:03,788 --> 00:16:05,088
[knock at door]

391
00:16:05,138 --> 00:16:08,358
Ooh, that must be her.

392
00:16:08,402 --> 00:16:10,402
Leif, here comes the
rest of your life.

393
00:16:10,447 --> 00:16:12,007
Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.

394
00:16:12,058 --> 00:16:13,358
I-I'm not ready
to meet her.

395
00:16:13,407 --> 00:16:14,667
You haven't even
told me her name yet.

396
00:16:14,712 --> 00:16:16,712
Oh, sorry about that.
Yeah, her name is...

397
00:16:16,758 --> 00:16:18,538
Lisa?!

398
00:16:18,586 --> 00:16:20,496
Wow, great guess.

399
00:16:20,544 --> 00:16:22,074
Leif?!

400
00:16:22,111 --> 00:16:23,901
Wait, you-you guys
know each other?

401
00:16:23,939 --> 00:16:24,899
Is that a good thing
or a...

402
00:16:24,940 --> 00:16:27,600
You son of a bitch.
Got it.

403
00:16:29,118 --> 00:16:32,248
You set me up
with my ex-husband.

404
00:16:34,558 --> 00:16:37,388
Who cheated on me
with a 22-year-old actress

405
00:16:37,431 --> 00:16:40,261
he met working at a car show.

406
00:16:40,303 --> 00:16:42,873
I-I didn't know we couldn't
date other people.

407
00:16:42,914 --> 00:16:45,574
I just thought we couldn't
marry other people.

408
00:16:46,788 --> 00:16:49,048
Uh, hey, h-hold on, hold on.
He's changed.

409
00:16:49,095 --> 00:16:50,355
Yeah. Did you know

410
00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:52,840
he's got a steady job
as a chicken wing model?

411
00:16:52,881 --> 00:16:56,451
Huh? Everybody
loves chicken wings.
Yeah.

412
00:16:56,493 --> 00:17:00,413
I'm leaving. Thank you so much
for setting up this reunion.

413
00:17:00,454 --> 00:17:01,634
Hey, you're not
getting the last word.

414
00:17:01,672 --> 00:17:02,672
I'mgetting the last word.

415
00:17:02,717 --> 00:17:03,807
No, you're not.
Yes, I am.

416
00:17:03,848 --> 00:17:04,938
No, you're not!

417
00:17:04,980 --> 00:17:06,110
Ah, she's too good.

418
00:17:06,155 --> 00:17:08,285
Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait. Okay.

419
00:17:08,331 --> 00:17:09,771
Uh, look, we've learned
a lot about you both

420
00:17:09,811 --> 00:17:11,941
over the past few days, and
from where I'm standing,

421
00:17:11,987 --> 00:17:14,417
you're actually perfect
for each other.

422
00:17:14,468 --> 00:17:16,728
Yeah, that's true. I mean,

423
00:17:16,774 --> 00:17:19,264
you only want one thing, and...

424
00:17:19,299 --> 00:17:22,689
he only is one thing.

425
00:17:22,737 --> 00:17:26,087
Yeah, and-and if that one
thing is the right thing,

426
00:17:26,132 --> 00:17:29,052
well, then you got to
hang on to that thing.

427
00:17:29,091 --> 00:17:30,531
You know?
And this is coming

428
00:17:30,571 --> 00:17:32,091
from an old couple
who's made it

429
00:17:32,138 --> 00:17:34,788
almost all the way through
their lives together.

430
00:17:34,836 --> 00:17:36,746
As you so thoughtfully
pointed out.

431
00:17:36,794 --> 00:17:38,804
ADAM: But look,
all we're saying is

432
00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:41,450
don't let go of his thing.

433
00:17:43,453 --> 00:17:45,503
He's right.

434
00:17:45,542 --> 00:17:46,762
Losing you was awful.

435
00:17:46,804 --> 00:17:50,504
Can we at least have
a drink and catch up?

436
00:17:50,547 --> 00:17:54,377
Well, I guess it wouldn't hurt
to hear you out,

437
00:17:54,421 --> 00:17:56,551
Mr. Tickles.
[giggles]

438
00:17:58,773 --> 00:18:01,173
Come on, I know a bar with
lots of pictures of me.

439
00:18:04,300 --> 00:18:05,610
Look at that.

440
00:18:05,649 --> 00:18:08,349
There's an ass for every saddle.

441
00:18:08,391 --> 00:18:10,831
[chuckles]:
Yeah.

442
00:18:10,872 --> 00:18:12,922
I guess when you
find your person,

443
00:18:12,961 --> 00:18:14,051
you work stuff out.

444
00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:15,223
Yeah.

445
00:18:15,268 --> 00:18:18,708
Your feet are the
perfect temperature.

446
00:18:18,749 --> 00:18:20,489
Aw.

447
00:18:20,534 --> 00:18:23,894
I should've been nicer
about that caterpillar you saw.

448
00:18:25,365 --> 00:18:27,495
You saw a caterpillar?

449
00:18:27,541 --> 00:18:28,671
Yeah, yeah.

450
00:18:28,716 --> 00:18:31,016
It looked like a mustache.
Oh.

451
00:18:31,066 --> 00:18:34,716
Oh! That's great.

452
00:18:34,765 --> 00:18:36,585
That's great.

453
00:18:37,942 --> 00:18:39,862
Hey, have you heard
anything from Lisa?

454
00:18:39,901 --> 00:18:42,471
Yeah. Leif moved
back in with her.

455
00:18:42,512 --> 00:18:44,472
Turns out he was living
in a storage unit.
Oh.

456
00:18:44,514 --> 00:18:46,654
[chuckles]

457
00:18:46,690 --> 00:18:48,870
And, as we predicted,
she's already dying

458
00:18:48,910 --> 00:18:50,910
to get out of the house
and back to work.

459
00:18:50,955 --> 00:18:53,995
Mm. So...

460
00:18:54,045 --> 00:18:56,475
it sounds like our days
on the couch together

461
00:18:56,526 --> 00:18:57,746
are almost over.

462
00:18:57,788 --> 00:18:59,008
Mm.

463
00:18:59,050 --> 00:19:00,360
Tell you what.

464
00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:03,140
Let's watch Rush Hour 3.

465
00:19:03,185 --> 00:19:04,575
Let's go with Gilmore Girls.

466
00:19:05,579 --> 00:19:07,889
I'm a little hooked.

467
00:19:07,929 --> 00:19:10,189
Ah.
Yeah.

468
00:19:10,236 --> 00:19:12,716
I mean, she's her mom, but
she's also her best friend.

469
00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:13,890
Yeah.

470
00:19:13,935 --> 00:19:16,365
Come on.
Aw. [giggles]

471
00:19:16,416 --> 00:19:18,586
[chuckles]
Look at us.

472
00:19:18,635 --> 00:19:19,805
It got good again.

473
00:19:19,854 --> 00:19:20,994
[both chuckle]

474
00:19:22,030 --> 00:19:23,860
They're hot, but it's...

475
00:19:23,901 --> 00:19:25,691
it's a dry heat.
Mm-hmm.

476
00:19:35,913 --> 00:19:37,483
It doesn't fit.

477
00:19:37,524 --> 00:19:39,094
I told you to measure it.
I did.

478
00:19:39,134 --> 00:19:40,704
But it's wider than the door.

479
00:19:40,744 --> 00:19:42,314
You didn't tell me
to measure the door.

480
00:19:42,355 --> 00:19:44,435
Andi's gonna be home
any minute.

481
00:19:44,487 --> 00:19:45,967
If she sees this,

482
00:19:46,010 --> 00:19:47,530
she'll think I'm accusing her
of not exercising.

483
00:19:47,577 --> 00:19:49,277
And we just got good again.

484
00:19:49,318 --> 00:19:50,578
[keys jingling]

485
00:19:50,624 --> 00:19:52,234
That's Andi.
Oh, God, she can't see this.

486
00:19:52,278 --> 00:19:54,318
Uh...

487
00:19:54,367 --> 00:19:56,367
Here, here, here.

488
00:20:01,504 --> 00:20:03,114
What are you doing?

489
00:20:03,158 --> 00:20:05,508
Camouflage.

490
00:20:06,509 --> 00:20:08,289
Hey, guys.
Hey.

491
00:20:08,337 --> 00:20:10,117
What's this?

492
00:20:10,165 --> 00:20:11,725
Dish towel.

493
00:20:11,775 --> 00:20:14,295
Okay, fine.

494
00:20:14,343 --> 00:20:16,083
I was gonna throw it away.

495
00:20:16,127 --> 00:20:18,297
Go ahead.
You never use it anyway.

496
00:20:18,347 --> 00:20:21,257
What? Inever use it?

497
00:20:21,307 --> 00:20:22,867
Me?

498
00:20:22,917 --> 00:20:25,617
I mean, I was gonna say
something, but... [scoffs]

499
00:20:25,659 --> 00:20:28,439
everyone knows you can't talk
to men about exercising.

500
00:20:28,488 --> 00:20:31,098
Captioning sponsored by
CBS

501
00:20:31,142 --> 00:20:34,152
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
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