1
00:00:08,540 --> 00:00:12,040
Um, it's 2:00 a.m.
What's with all the balloons?
2
00:00:12,040 --> 00:00:13,960
You having some clowns over?
3
00:00:15,420 --> 00:00:17,710
No, it's for another
dumb school thing
4
00:00:17,710 --> 00:00:19,750
in Emme's kindergarten class.
5
00:00:19,750 --> 00:00:22,250
Mrs. Rodriguez wants
a hundred balloons blown up.
6
00:00:22,250 --> 00:00:24,830
I've already blacked out
three times.
7
00:00:25,880 --> 00:00:27,830
Well, um...
8
00:00:27,830 --> 00:00:30,250
why don't you just use
the balloon pump?
9
00:00:32,290 --> 00:00:34,790
Because I didn't know
what that was.
10
00:00:35,830 --> 00:00:37,210
I thought it was a...
11
00:00:37,210 --> 00:00:39,670
lady thing.
12
00:00:39,670 --> 00:00:42,620
Right. 'Cause I keep
all my lady things
13
00:00:42,620 --> 00:00:45,290
in the kids' cubbies.
14
00:00:45,290 --> 00:00:49,170
What function did you think
this would perform exactly?
15
00:00:52,960 --> 00:00:55,750
Yeah, I don't think you
want me to answer that.
16
00:00:55,750 --> 00:00:57,380
Yeah. You're probably right.
17
00:00:57,380 --> 00:00:59,420
You know,
18
00:00:59,420 --> 00:01:01,420
when Rodriguez roped me
into being room parent,
19
00:01:01,420 --> 00:01:03,710
she never told me
how much work it would be.
20
00:01:03,710 --> 00:01:05,420
They celebrate everything.
21
00:01:05,420 --> 00:01:08,750
Well, Adam, m-most people
like parties.
22
00:01:05,420 --> 00:01:08,750
Yeah.
23
00:01:08,750 --> 00:01:09,960
But it's never-ending.
24
00:01:09,960 --> 00:01:11,920
I've organized '80s Day,
25
00:01:11,920 --> 00:01:13,880
'90s Day, and you remember
Future Day.
26
00:01:13,880 --> 00:01:16,210
I had to wear
a tinfoil suit.
27
00:01:17,960 --> 00:01:20,920
I'm sorry, honey,
but look on the bright side.
28
00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:24,290
Now that I'm working,
I don't have to do it anymore.
29
00:01:25,750 --> 00:01:27,750
I lost my sense of humor
30 balloons ago.
30
00:01:30,500 --> 00:01:33,000
Look, honey. I-I know
it's a lot, but...
31
00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:35,620
you know, I would be freaking
out at work all the time
32
00:01:35,620 --> 00:01:37,540
if you weren't doing
such a good job
33
00:01:37,540 --> 00:01:39,210
as captain
of the parenting ship.
34
00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:44,920
I'm the captain?
35
00:01:44,920 --> 00:01:48,790
Yes. You're the captain.
From 7:45 to 5:15,
36
00:01:48,790 --> 00:01:50,710
and then, when I get home...
37
00:01:48,790 --> 00:01:50,710
We're co-captains.
38
00:01:50,710 --> 00:01:52,710
Okay, sure.
39
00:01:54,620 --> 00:01:55,710
Okay, Emme.
40
00:01:55,710 --> 00:01:57,620
You did such a good job helping,
41
00:01:57,620 --> 00:02:00,670
I'm gonna sneak a couple
extra cookies in your cubby.
42
00:02:00,670 --> 00:02:03,420
Thanks, Daddy.
43
00:02:00,670 --> 00:02:03,420
Aww.
44
00:02:03,420 --> 00:02:05,540
Hey, it pays to know
the right guy, huh?
45
00:02:05,540 --> 00:02:07,210
Hmm. Hi, sweetheart.
46
00:02:07,210 --> 00:02:09,750
You can catch up with the other
kids on the playground.
47
00:02:11,040 --> 00:02:14,880
Oh. Not bad. Look who
finally got it together.
48
00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:18,460
That's the kind of praise
that makes it all worthwhile.
49
00:02:19,540 --> 00:02:20,880
Okay, I'm out of here.
50
00:02:20,880 --> 00:02:22,330
Oh, Mr. Burns, one more thing.
51
00:02:22,330 --> 00:02:23,880
Teacher Appreciation
Day is coming up,
52
00:02:23,880 --> 00:02:26,040
so there's gonna be a party.
53
00:02:26,040 --> 00:02:28,040
Of course there is.
54
00:02:28,040 --> 00:02:31,670
So, we're gonna need food,
decorations and games.
55
00:02:31,670 --> 00:02:34,620
This isn't a school,
it's a Chuck E. Cheese.
56
00:02:34,620 --> 00:02:36,790
Oh, but the most important thing
57
00:02:36,790 --> 00:02:38,460
is the Teacher Appreciation
gift,
58
00:02:38,460 --> 00:02:40,920
which each room parent
organizes. This year,
59
00:02:40,920 --> 00:02:43,290
I'd like you to make me puppets.
60
00:02:44,670 --> 00:02:46,250
Kids like puppets.
61
00:02:46,250 --> 00:02:47,580
No, they don't.
62
00:02:48,380 --> 00:02:49,880
They haven't liked puppets
since...
63
00:02:49,880 --> 00:02:52,380
anything else was invented.
64
00:02:52,380 --> 00:02:54,960
Mr. Burns, why do you
have to be so difficult?
65
00:02:54,960 --> 00:02:58,040
No other room parent has ever
caused me this much trouble.
66
00:02:58,040 --> 00:03:00,880
Well... It just seems like
you're crossing a line.
67
00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:02,750
You know, you're taking
advantage of me because
68
00:03:02,750 --> 00:03:04,540
my daughter's in your class,
and you know...
69
00:03:04,540 --> 00:03:05,750
I like her.
70
00:03:07,460 --> 00:03:09,380
I'm only being hard on you
because I know
71
00:03:09,380 --> 00:03:10,880
you're capable of better work.
72
00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:12,080
So, dig deep,
73
00:03:12,080 --> 00:03:14,040
and make me puppets.
74
00:03:15,380 --> 00:03:17,500
You know what? No.
75
00:03:17,500 --> 00:03:19,500
But they're for Teacher
Appreciation Day.
76
00:03:19,500 --> 00:03:21,790
I got to be honest.
I don't appreciate you.
77
00:03:22,670 --> 00:03:24,830
When Teacher Resentment Day
comes along,
78
00:03:24,830 --> 00:03:26,040
I'm your man.
79
00:03:27,250 --> 00:03:29,790
Plus, I don't have time
to make puppets.
80
00:03:29,790 --> 00:03:32,790
Mr. Burns, being a
room parent is a full-time job.
81
00:03:32,790 --> 00:03:35,880
No. No, my full-time job
is my full-time job.
82
00:03:35,880 --> 00:03:39,080
I have three construction
projects going on right now.
83
00:03:39,080 --> 00:03:42,170
Okay. Why don't you take all
this negative energy,
84
00:03:42,170 --> 00:03:44,880
and put it into making puppets.
85
00:03:44,880 --> 00:03:47,540
I got a better idea. I quit.
86
00:03:47,540 --> 00:03:50,080
Uh... no. You can't quit.
As long as Emme's in my class,
87
00:03:50,080 --> 00:03:52,120
you're the room parent.
And if you don't like it,
88
00:03:52,120 --> 00:03:53,920
you can transfer her
to the other class.
89
00:03:53,920 --> 00:03:55,750
Hold on a second.
90
00:03:55,750 --> 00:03:57,120
That's an option?
91
00:03:57,120 --> 00:03:59,620
Well, technically, yes.
92
00:03:57,120 --> 00:03:59,620
I could just...
93
00:03:59,620 --> 00:04:01,040
put her in the other class?
94
00:04:01,040 --> 00:04:03,290
They already have a room parent.
95
00:04:01,040 --> 00:04:03,290
Okay.
96
00:04:03,290 --> 00:04:05,880
Trust me, you don't
want to do that.
97
00:04:03,290 --> 00:04:05,880
Oh, I think I do.
98
00:04:05,880 --> 00:04:07,000
No, you don't.
99
00:04:05,880 --> 00:04:07,000
Yes, I do.
100
00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:08,000
No, you don't.
101
00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:08,000
Yes, I do.
102
00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:09,330
No, you don't.
103
00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:09,330
See, this is
104
00:04:09,330 --> 00:04:10,580
one of the issues.
105
00:04:10,580 --> 00:04:12,000
No, it's not.
106
00:04:13,830 --> 00:04:15,210
All right, I've had enough.
107
00:04:15,210 --> 00:04:16,710
I'm transferring Emme
out of this class.
108
00:04:16,710 --> 00:04:18,880
Fine.
109
00:04:18,880 --> 00:04:20,920
Here's the transfer form.
110
00:04:20,920 --> 00:04:23,420
Now, we have
a reason to party.
111
00:04:20,920 --> 00:04:23,420
Hmm.
112
00:04:23,420 --> 00:04:24,790
No, we don't.
113
00:04:24,790 --> 00:04:25,790
Yes, we do.
114
00:04:38,580 --> 00:04:41,210
So long, suckers.
I'm transferring Emme
115
00:04:41,210 --> 00:04:42,500
out of Mrs. Rodriguez's class.
116
00:04:42,500 --> 00:04:44,210
So, who's gonna be
our room parent?
117
00:04:44,210 --> 00:04:46,000
I can't do it.
I got to go home and sit around.
118
00:04:47,210 --> 00:04:50,500
But you can't just leave me.
You're my mentor.
119
00:04:50,500 --> 00:04:53,000
People our age don't have
mentors, Lowell,
120
00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:55,290
they've already... mented.
121
00:04:55,290 --> 00:04:58,580
Not me. After years of being a
stay-at-home dad to two girls,
122
00:04:58,580 --> 00:05:00,580
you're showing me
how to be a man again.
123
00:05:00,580 --> 00:05:02,880
Thanks to you, I started
watching the sports report.
124
00:05:02,880 --> 00:05:05,040
"Boom," says that one guy.
125
00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:07,040
Great job. I'm proud of you.
126
00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:10,120
Now all we got to do is get that
jazzercise sticker off your car.
127
00:05:12,120 --> 00:05:14,250
Over my dead body.
128
00:05:17,710 --> 00:05:20,500
Hold on. So, you just
transferred Emme
129
00:05:20,500 --> 00:05:23,420
into another class,
without asking Andi?
130
00:05:23,420 --> 00:05:25,710
I don't need to ask
her permission.
131
00:05:25,710 --> 00:05:28,080
Ho, ho, ho, ho.
132
00:05:28,080 --> 00:05:31,420
Little brother.
Do you know what you are?
133
00:05:31,420 --> 00:05:33,210
Adorable.
134
00:05:34,500 --> 00:05:36,040
Let me tell you
a little something
135
00:05:36,040 --> 00:05:38,170
about how things work
in my house, okay?
136
00:05:38,170 --> 00:05:39,710
I steer the parenting boat.
137
00:05:39,710 --> 00:05:41,290
You know what Andi told me
last night?
138
00:05:41,290 --> 00:05:43,210
I'm the captain.
139
00:05:43,210 --> 00:05:44,790
Oh, you are, huh?
140
00:05:44,790 --> 00:05:46,620
That's right.
141
00:05:44,790 --> 00:05:46,620
Uh-huh.
142
00:05:46,620 --> 00:05:48,250
You know how you give
a little kid
143
00:05:48,250 --> 00:05:49,830
a fake steering wheel
in the backseat
144
00:05:49,830 --> 00:05:51,380
so they can pretend
they're driving?
145
00:05:51,380 --> 00:05:53,080
Might even have a little horn.
146
00:05:53,080 --> 00:05:56,170
That's the kind
of captain you are.
147
00:05:56,170 --> 00:05:57,960
You don't know
what you're talking about.
148
00:05:56,170 --> 00:05:57,960
Oh.
149
00:05:57,960 --> 00:06:00,670
Okay, how about this? Call Andi.
Let's see if I'm right.
150
00:06:00,670 --> 00:06:03,330
Loser has to...
151
00:06:03,330 --> 00:06:06,250
eat a ghost pepper.
152
00:06:03,330 --> 00:06:06,250
Ooh.
153
00:06:06,250 --> 00:06:08,120
That's right.
The world's hottest pepper.
154
00:06:08,120 --> 00:06:10,830
Put your mouth
where your mouth is.
155
00:06:08,120 --> 00:06:10,830
Fine.
156
00:06:10,830 --> 00:06:12,290
But you're gonna be
eating that pepper,
157
00:06:12,290 --> 00:06:13,250
and if I know you,
158
00:06:13,250 --> 00:06:14,830
you'll forget and rub your eye.
159
00:06:14,830 --> 00:06:16,080
And if I know me,
160
00:06:16,080 --> 00:06:17,540
I'll be laughing at you.
161
00:06:21,210 --> 00:06:22,540
Hey, honey. What's up?
162
00:06:22,540 --> 00:06:23,540
Hey.
163
00:06:23,540 --> 00:06:24,920
I got a great idea.
164
00:06:24,920 --> 00:06:26,540
You know how Rodriguez
has been on me?
165
00:06:26,540 --> 00:06:29,040
Well, I'm thinking
I'm gonna transfer Emme
166
00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:30,460
to the other class.
How about that?
167
00:06:33,790 --> 00:06:35,750
Andi?
168
00:06:35,750 --> 00:06:38,170
Do I hear you smiling?
169
00:06:38,170 --> 00:06:39,880
No, I'm not smiling.
170
00:06:39,880 --> 00:06:41,330
That's a terrible idea!
171
00:06:41,330 --> 00:06:42,750
Look, there's only
172
00:06:42,750 --> 00:06:44,790
one good teacher in every grade.
173
00:06:44,790 --> 00:06:47,170
Okay? Y-You have no idea
174
00:06:47,170 --> 00:06:48,960
how much I had to kiss
Mrs. Rodriguez's butt
175
00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:50,330
to get Emme in that class.
176
00:06:50,330 --> 00:06:52,330
So, for you to even think
177
00:06:52,330 --> 00:06:54,790
about transferring her because
you have to work too hard,
178
00:06:54,790 --> 00:06:56,670
makes me so mad,
that I'm yelling.
179
00:06:56,670 --> 00:06:58,580
I'm yelling now, and everybody
here's looking at me.
180
00:06:58,580 --> 00:07:00,670
What? This isn't a show,
Markowitz.
181
00:07:00,670 --> 00:07:02,170
Good.
182
00:07:02,170 --> 00:07:04,580
Yeah. Take it out on Markowitz.
Bye, honey. Love you.
183
00:07:05,830 --> 00:07:08,750
Hello, ghost pepper store?
184
00:07:08,750 --> 00:07:10,290
I'd like to place an order.
185
00:07:13,880 --> 00:07:15,500
Look, Mrs. Rodriguez,
186
00:07:15,500 --> 00:07:17,080
I would really appreciate it
187
00:07:17,080 --> 00:07:19,210
if you would let Emme
back in your class.
188
00:07:19,210 --> 00:07:20,710
Why would I do that?
189
00:07:20,710 --> 00:07:23,080
Well...
what better way to celebrate
190
00:07:23,080 --> 00:07:25,170
the birthday of this fine school
191
00:07:25,170 --> 00:07:28,920
than with the gift of forgetting
what I said this morning?
192
00:07:28,920 --> 00:07:30,620
Or you could apologize
193
00:07:30,620 --> 00:07:32,500
for everything you said
this morning.
194
00:07:32,500 --> 00:07:34,120
Okay.
195
00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:36,080
Uh... Apparently,
you think that I...
196
00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:37,830
No.
197
00:07:37,830 --> 00:07:40,170
If I said something...
198
00:07:40,170 --> 00:07:42,000
No.
199
00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:43,460
If you weren't so...
200
00:07:43,460 --> 00:07:45,170
No!
201
00:07:46,170 --> 00:07:48,170
Fine.
202
00:07:55,250 --> 00:07:57,620
I'm sorry.
203
00:07:57,620 --> 00:07:59,040
Now we're making progress.
204
00:07:59,040 --> 00:08:00,750
Emme can come back to my class.
205
00:08:00,750 --> 00:08:02,250
Oh! Great. Thank you.
206
00:08:02,250 --> 00:08:03,960
Big win for the captain.
207
00:08:03,960 --> 00:08:05,830
Oh, this is gonna mean
a lot to Andi.
208
00:08:05,830 --> 00:08:07,290
She's always saying
how you're the best teacher
209
00:08:07,290 --> 00:08:08,420
in the whole school.
210
00:08:08,420 --> 00:08:10,620
Really?
211
00:08:08,420 --> 00:08:10,620
Yeah, yeah. She told me
212
00:08:10,620 --> 00:08:12,620
that to get Emme in this class,
she spent years
213
00:08:12,620 --> 00:08:14,710
kissing your butt.
214
00:08:16,210 --> 00:08:18,000
What was that?
215
00:08:22,170 --> 00:08:23,710
Uh...
216
00:08:23,710 --> 00:08:25,710
That... was a compliment.
217
00:08:25,710 --> 00:08:28,620
No, it wasn't.
218
00:08:25,710 --> 00:08:28,620
Oh, sure. Sure it was.
219
00:08:28,620 --> 00:08:30,170
Yeah, you know how
people are always
220
00:08:30,170 --> 00:08:33,000
joking around
and saying crazy stuff?
221
00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:35,620
Like, "Hey, Bob."
"Kiss my butt, Jim."
222
00:08:35,620 --> 00:08:37,830
And then they're laughing,
'cause they're buddies.
223
00:08:37,830 --> 00:08:39,880
You know, j-just like us.
224
00:08:39,880 --> 00:08:41,960
Oh, so we're buddies now?
225
00:08:39,880 --> 00:08:41,960
Definitely.
226
00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:42,960
Really?
227
00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:42,960
Yeah.
228
00:08:42,960 --> 00:08:44,120
What's my first name?
229
00:08:48,170 --> 00:08:50,670
Uh...
230
00:08:59,040 --> 00:09:01,170
That's what I thought. I think
Emme would be better off
231
00:09:01,170 --> 00:09:02,250
staying in the other class.
232
00:09:02,250 --> 00:09:04,330
What? Oh, come on!
233
00:09:04,330 --> 00:09:06,330
It's not like you know
my first name.
234
00:09:06,330 --> 00:09:07,500
Adam.
235
00:09:07,500 --> 00:09:09,120
Oh. Well, yeah.
Anyone could guess that.
236
00:09:09,120 --> 00:09:11,120
It's like the first name ever.
237
00:09:22,380 --> 00:09:23,670
What's with the flowers?
238
00:09:23,670 --> 00:09:26,580
Is it the day after
Mom's birthday again?
239
00:09:27,670 --> 00:09:29,500
No.
240
00:09:29,500 --> 00:09:30,710
Wait...
241
00:09:31,960 --> 00:09:33,710
No. No.
242
00:09:33,710 --> 00:09:35,620
Don't scare me like that!
243
00:09:35,620 --> 00:09:38,170
Oh! I think I
hear Mom's car.
244
00:09:38,170 --> 00:09:40,620
Okay, guys, go play outside,
and enjoy your childhood,
245
00:09:40,620 --> 00:09:42,880
'cause it only
gets more complicated.
246
00:09:44,540 --> 00:09:47,330
Hey. There's my beautiful wife.
247
00:09:48,380 --> 00:09:50,580
Flowers? What for?
248
00:09:50,580 --> 00:09:52,670
Do I need a reason
to buy you flowers?
249
00:09:52,670 --> 00:09:56,120
Historically, yes.
250
00:09:56,120 --> 00:09:58,790
Okay, fine. I know this
is gonna make you mad, but...
251
00:09:58,790 --> 00:10:01,420
I transferred Emme
out of Mrs. Rodriguez's class
252
00:10:01,420 --> 00:10:03,620
but look at the pretty flowers!
253
00:10:03,620 --> 00:10:05,210
What?
254
00:10:05,210 --> 00:10:07,080
I can't believe you did that,
255
00:10:07,080 --> 00:10:08,620
after we talked this morning!
256
00:10:08,620 --> 00:10:10,920
Well, not sure
this is gonna help me, but...
257
00:10:10,920 --> 00:10:13,210
I did it before we talked.
258
00:10:13,210 --> 00:10:14,290
Ooh!
259
00:10:14,290 --> 00:10:16,540
Ah!
260
00:10:16,540 --> 00:10:18,290
Oh...
261
00:10:18,290 --> 00:10:19,710
Huh?
262
00:10:19,710 --> 00:10:21,330
All right, look.
263
00:10:21,330 --> 00:10:23,080
Mrs. Rodriguez is impossible!
264
00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:24,670
It's too much work!
265
00:10:24,670 --> 00:10:27,420
Oh, so you did this for
your own selfish reasons.
266
00:10:27,420 --> 00:10:30,880
Well, a lot of great stuff
was done for selfish reasons.
267
00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:33,420
The guy who invented fire.
268
00:10:33,420 --> 00:10:35,790
Probably freezing his ass off.
269
00:10:35,790 --> 00:10:37,000
Oh, my God.
270
00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:39,210
Well, and, and...
271
00:10:39,210 --> 00:10:41,330
it's good for Emme, too.
272
00:10:41,330 --> 00:10:43,250
Her best friend
is in the other class.
273
00:10:43,250 --> 00:10:44,790
Yeah, and you know why
the school separated them?
274
00:10:44,790 --> 00:10:46,170
Because they talk too much.
275
00:10:46,170 --> 00:10:48,460
No fair,
that is new information.
276
00:10:48,460 --> 00:10:50,420
Well, everything's
new information
277
00:10:50,420 --> 00:10:51,580
when you don't know anything.
278
00:10:53,250 --> 00:10:56,710
You know, maybe instead of
just criticizing me,
279
00:10:56,710 --> 00:10:58,960
you could try seeing
my side of it.
280
00:10:58,960 --> 00:11:02,210
Yeah, but your side of it
is so... wrong.
281
00:11:03,380 --> 00:11:04,670
You know what?
282
00:11:04,670 --> 00:11:05,880
I'll go down there,
I'll talk to her.
283
00:11:05,880 --> 00:11:07,210
She likes me.
284
00:11:07,210 --> 00:11:10,540
Yeah, about that.
285
00:11:11,580 --> 00:11:14,120
Oh, good, it gets worse.
286
00:11:14,120 --> 00:11:15,790
Well, just a little,
and then we're all caught up.
287
00:11:15,790 --> 00:11:16,920
So,
288
00:11:16,920 --> 00:11:18,790
when I went back to apologize,
289
00:11:18,790 --> 00:11:21,330
like I knew
you would've wanted me to,
290
00:11:21,330 --> 00:11:24,080
I complimented her,
and she got all mad.
291
00:11:24,080 --> 00:11:26,080
How did you compliment her?
292
00:11:26,080 --> 00:11:28,250
Is that really important?
293
00:11:30,040 --> 00:11:32,120
I told her that
you kissed her butt
294
00:11:32,120 --> 00:11:33,960
to get Emme into her class,
295
00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:36,880
and, for some reason,
she took offense.
296
00:11:36,880 --> 00:11:38,290
Oh. Pfft.
297
00:11:38,290 --> 00:11:39,830
Yeah, so what happened next?
298
00:11:39,830 --> 00:11:41,380
Did you punch her in the throat?
299
00:11:41,380 --> 00:11:42,880
I just...
300
00:11:42,880 --> 00:11:44,500
how could you say that
to Alicia?
301
00:11:44,500 --> 00:11:45,790
Alicia!
302
00:11:45,790 --> 00:11:48,500
That's her name.
303
00:11:48,500 --> 00:11:49,960
Look, you know, anyway,
304
00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:52,120
I should be allowed to make
these kind of decisions.
305
00:11:52,120 --> 00:11:54,040
After all, I am the captain.
306
00:11:54,040 --> 00:11:55,120
Yeah, I only told you that
so you'd finish
307
00:11:55,120 --> 00:11:56,250
blowing up the balloons.
308
00:11:58,330 --> 00:12:00,380
Hold on a second.
309
00:12:00,380 --> 00:12:03,710
Are you saying that
I'm not the captain?
310
00:12:03,710 --> 00:12:05,290
Well, you're
the captain of balloons.
311
00:12:07,620 --> 00:12:10,210
Look, here's
what's gonna happen.
312
00:12:10,210 --> 00:12:11,710
I'm gonna go down
there tomorrow with you
313
00:12:11,710 --> 00:12:13,080
and a box of chocolates,
and I'm gonna...
314
00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:14,420
kiss her butt some more,
315
00:12:14,420 --> 00:12:15,710
and I'm gonna fix this.
316
00:12:15,710 --> 00:12:17,620
I don't need you
317
00:12:17,620 --> 00:12:18,830
cleaning up my messes, okay?
318
00:12:18,830 --> 00:12:19,880
I can handle this.
319
00:12:19,880 --> 00:12:22,620
Adam, listen to me,
320
00:12:22,620 --> 00:12:25,830
I am the captain now.
321
00:12:33,170 --> 00:12:34,960
Okay, I don't know if this
is what you were going for,
322
00:12:34,960 --> 00:12:36,460
but I am really turned on
right now.
323
00:12:40,500 --> 00:12:42,120
Look, you know what Adam's like.
324
00:12:42,120 --> 00:12:44,500
He-he just says stuff,
he doesn't think.
325
00:12:44,500 --> 00:12:46,330
I really don't.
326
00:12:46,330 --> 00:12:49,670
But to imply that currying favor
has any impact
327
00:12:49,670 --> 00:12:52,120
on how I run my
classroom is insulting.
328
00:12:52,120 --> 00:12:53,830
Look, I'm well aware
that parents give me presents
329
00:12:53,830 --> 00:12:55,750
just because they want
something from me.
330
00:12:55,750 --> 00:12:57,500
Ugh. Yeah, those
parents are the worst.
331
00:12:59,620 --> 00:13:01,540
Although the presents are nice.
332
00:12:59,620 --> 00:13:01,540
Oh, yeah, I mean,
333
00:13:01,540 --> 00:13:04,210
who doesn't like a little treat
now and again?
334
00:13:04,210 --> 00:13:06,420
But it doesn't change anything.
335
00:13:04,210 --> 00:13:06,420
No, of course not,
336
00:13:06,420 --> 00:13:08,710
you're above all that.
337
00:13:08,710 --> 00:13:09,920
Just give me the chocolates.
338
00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:15,620
There's a little chart in there
339
00:13:15,620 --> 00:13:17,710
so you don't get surprised
by anything.
340
00:13:17,710 --> 00:13:20,210
You wouldn't want to bite into
one of those cherry squirty ones
341
00:13:20,210 --> 00:13:21,540
when you're wearing
a white blouse.
342
00:13:22,920 --> 00:13:24,710
Look, we didn't
mean to insult you.
343
00:13:24,710 --> 00:13:26,920
You know, it's just how
we show appreciation.
344
00:13:26,920 --> 00:13:29,880
I mean, we kiss butt
because we love.
345
00:13:29,880 --> 00:13:31,040
Yeah.
346
00:13:31,040 --> 00:13:32,380
Let's be honest,
347
00:13:32,380 --> 00:13:35,380
butt kissing makes
the world go round.
348
00:13:35,380 --> 00:13:37,830
Everybody does it.
I kiss my clients' butts.
349
00:13:37,830 --> 00:13:39,830
My crew kisses my butt.
350
00:13:39,830 --> 00:13:41,790
Yeah, I mean,
"World's Greatest Teacher."
351
00:13:41,790 --> 00:13:43,120
You didn't buy that
for yourself, right?
352
00:13:43,120 --> 00:13:44,750
Good point, honey.
353
00:13:44,750 --> 00:13:46,790
See, I just kissed
my wife's butt, she's not mad.
354
00:13:46,790 --> 00:13:49,580
No, I rather enjoyed it, yeah.
355
00:13:49,580 --> 00:13:51,710
Now, he's a very
good butt kisser.
356
00:13:51,710 --> 00:13:53,000
Aw.
357
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:54,750
Uh, no, he's not, he's terrible.
358
00:13:54,750 --> 00:13:56,750
He quit because of
Teacher Appreciation Day.
359
00:13:56,750 --> 00:13:58,830
That's the Super Bowl
of butt kissing.
360
00:13:58,830 --> 00:14:00,330
Look, there are
plenty of ways
361
00:14:00,330 --> 00:14:02,830
to get on my good side,
if you cared enough to try.
362
00:14:02,830 --> 00:14:05,960
Oh, whoa, hold on,
that's unfair.
363
00:14:05,960 --> 00:14:07,250
No, I think I'm being
perfectly fair.
364
00:14:07,250 --> 00:14:08,960
He's been working
like a dog for you.
365
00:14:08,960 --> 00:14:10,460
Stay on track.
366
00:14:10,460 --> 00:14:12,710
I mean, he's up in
the middle of the night,
367
00:14:12,710 --> 00:14:13,750
he's here every day...
368
00:14:13,750 --> 00:14:15,080
He complains all the time
369
00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:17,670
about every little thing
I ask him to do.
370
00:14:17,670 --> 00:14:20,040
Okay, all right,
why is everybody standing up?
371
00:14:22,750 --> 00:14:23,750
Yeah, well, I'm
not gonna let you
372
00:14:23,750 --> 00:14:25,580
talk about my husband
that way.
373
00:14:25,580 --> 00:14:27,880
If anything,
I'm being easy on him.
374
00:14:25,580 --> 00:14:27,880
No, you're not.
375
00:14:27,880 --> 00:14:29,580
You're asking him
to do too much.
376
00:14:29,580 --> 00:14:31,330
Well, maybe it seems like a lot
because I have to ask him
377
00:14:31,330 --> 00:14:32,790
to do everything three times.
378
00:14:32,790 --> 00:14:35,380
Which is fine.
379
00:14:32,790 --> 00:14:35,380
It's not fine.
380
00:14:35,380 --> 00:14:37,080
He does the bare minimum
at best.
381
00:14:37,080 --> 00:14:39,330
I ask him to make puppets,
all I got was attitude.
382
00:14:39,330 --> 00:14:40,750
I don't see any commitment.
383
00:14:40,750 --> 00:14:42,500
You know what?
I don't think anybody
384
00:14:42,500 --> 00:14:44,170
could live up
to your standards.
385
00:14:44,170 --> 00:14:45,580
'Cause you know what?
You're...
386
00:14:44,170 --> 00:14:45,580
Easy.
387
00:14:45,580 --> 00:14:48,330
You're...
388
00:14:45,580 --> 00:14:48,330
Careful.
389
00:14:48,330 --> 00:14:50,000
You're high maintenance.
390
00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:52,120
Better than I thought
it would be.
391
00:14:53,290 --> 00:14:55,540
How's it going? Are they getting
Emme back in the class?
392
00:14:55,540 --> 00:14:57,210
I don't know, you keep talking.
393
00:14:57,210 --> 00:14:59,790
Uh-oh, angry footsteps.
394
00:14:59,790 --> 00:15:01,000
Angry footsteps.
395
00:15:04,380 --> 00:15:07,460
So, Adam, you back?
What happened?
396
00:15:07,460 --> 00:15:09,460
Lady fight, big step backwards.
397
00:15:11,250 --> 00:15:14,080
And that's why you never do
stuff without asking your wife.
398
00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:17,170
I once made a decision
without consulting my wife.
399
00:15:17,170 --> 00:15:19,210
But then we got married anyway.
400
00:15:25,960 --> 00:15:27,120
Hi, Andi.
401
00:15:25,960 --> 00:15:27,120
Hey, Don.
402
00:15:27,120 --> 00:15:28,920
Hey, honey.
403
00:15:28,920 --> 00:15:30,540
How was the rest of your day?
You feeling better?
404
00:15:30,540 --> 00:15:32,540
No, I mean, because
I lost my temper,
405
00:15:32,540 --> 00:15:35,460
Emme's stuck in the
crummy kindergarten class.
406
00:15:35,460 --> 00:15:37,460
I really don't think
it's that big of a deal.
407
00:15:37,460 --> 00:15:39,040
Or it could be the
difference between her being
408
00:15:39,040 --> 00:15:40,710
a Supreme Court
justice, or a...
409
00:15:40,710 --> 00:15:42,920
cocktail waitress
at an Indian casino.
410
00:15:42,920 --> 00:15:46,500
Hey, either way,
she's wearing a silly outfit.
411
00:15:46,500 --> 00:15:48,080
Well, I guess the good news is
412
00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:49,960
that you're not
room parent anymore, so...
413
00:15:49,960 --> 00:15:53,080
that's a win.
414
00:15:53,080 --> 00:15:55,960
Hey, you won.
415
00:15:57,500 --> 00:15:58,960
Savor this.
416
00:15:58,960 --> 00:16:00,330
I didn't win.
417
00:16:00,330 --> 00:16:01,830
Didn't you hear her tone?
418
00:16:01,830 --> 00:16:03,880
It's not how you say it,
it's what you say.
419
00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:08,210
Like, "Shania Twain wants
to take a bath with you."
420
00:16:08,210 --> 00:16:10,830
Sing it, scream it, cry it,
either way
421
00:16:10,830 --> 00:16:13,000
I'm clean and happy.
422
00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:15,380
Why the bath?
423
00:16:15,380 --> 00:16:17,040
You know what?
I don't care.
424
00:16:19,830 --> 00:16:21,880
I started this whole thing.
425
00:16:21,880 --> 00:16:24,790
I got to find a way
to win Rodriguez over.
426
00:16:24,790 --> 00:16:26,460
What would a captain do?
427
00:16:26,460 --> 00:16:28,960
Which reminds me--
428
00:16:28,960 --> 00:16:31,920
I got you something
that I think might help.
429
00:16:31,920 --> 00:16:33,960
Here you go, Captain.
430
00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:39,040
Yeah, yeah, I deserve that.
431
00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:40,960
Happy sailing!
432
00:16:40,960 --> 00:16:42,620
And just remember--
even if you get
433
00:16:42,620 --> 00:16:45,290
through the Straits
of Forgiveness, some day,
434
00:16:45,290 --> 00:16:48,080
there's a torpedo heading your
way from the S.S. Menopause.
435
00:16:50,580 --> 00:16:53,040
I'm gonna need a bigger boat.
436
00:16:56,620 --> 00:16:59,210
I think if you just
give Adam another chance,
437
00:16:59,210 --> 00:17:00,920
he won't disappoint you.
438
00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:03,040
He's already done a lot
personally for me.
439
00:17:03,040 --> 00:17:05,710
He's like... he's like
my Phil Jackson.
440
00:17:05,710 --> 00:17:07,290
Sports reference. What's up?
441
00:17:08,580 --> 00:17:10,330
And I think
the whole class will miss him.
442
00:17:10,330 --> 00:17:11,960
Well, my decision hasn't changed
443
00:17:11,960 --> 00:17:13,750
since you asked me
through the bathroom door.
444
00:17:19,120 --> 00:17:20,460
What are you doing here?
445
00:17:20,460 --> 00:17:22,120
I bet I know exactly
what he's doing here.
446
00:17:29,290 --> 00:17:30,960
A puppet theater.
447
00:17:30,960 --> 00:17:33,000
Oh, I was way off.
448
00:17:34,380 --> 00:17:36,710
Oh, my God,
it's beautiful.
449
00:17:36,710 --> 00:17:38,960
No other room parent has ever
done anything like this.
450
00:17:38,960 --> 00:17:40,170
Did you build this?
451
00:17:40,170 --> 00:17:43,040
Yup. Happy Teacher
Appreciation Day.
452
00:17:43,040 --> 00:17:47,000
I hope you'll consider letting
Emme back into your class, and,
453
00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:49,040
as you're making
your decision,
454
00:17:49,040 --> 00:17:51,420
I'll ask you to press the
button on that little remote.
455
00:17:57,920 --> 00:18:00,040
Not just the bare
minimum, right?
456
00:18:00,040 --> 00:18:01,620
Oh, wait a minute.
457
00:18:01,620 --> 00:18:04,170
Is this just a sophisticated way
of kissing my butt?
458
00:18:04,170 --> 00:18:07,000
Well, I wouldn't
call it that.
459
00:18:04,170 --> 00:18:07,000
'Cause it's working.
460
00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:10,330
Oh. So, can Emme come back
to your class?
461
00:18:10,330 --> 00:18:14,120
Well, of course she can.
462
00:18:14,120 --> 00:18:16,120
And I haven't been able
to find a replacement
463
00:18:16,120 --> 00:18:18,710
so, maybe you could, you know...
464
00:18:18,710 --> 00:18:20,120
Just...
465
00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:23,830
Come back as room parent.
466
00:18:23,830 --> 00:18:25,420
It's happening.
467
00:18:26,710 --> 00:18:28,250
Okay, okay.
468
00:18:28,250 --> 00:18:30,170
But I have
a few conditions.
469
00:18:28,250 --> 00:18:30,170
No.
470
00:18:30,170 --> 00:18:31,080
Well, just hear me out.
471
00:18:30,170 --> 00:18:31,080
No.
472
00:18:31,080 --> 00:18:34,120
If we could just...
473
00:18:31,080 --> 00:18:34,120
No!
474
00:18:34,120 --> 00:18:36,080
Okay. Deal.
475
00:18:34,120 --> 00:18:36,080
Good!
476
00:18:40,290 --> 00:18:44,000
Are we just gonna stand here,
or are we gonna hug?
477
00:18:45,540 --> 00:18:47,040
We're just gonna stand here.
478
00:18:47,040 --> 00:18:49,040
Yeah.
479
00:18:50,920 --> 00:18:53,330
Nice job on the
puppet theater, babe.
480
00:18:53,330 --> 00:18:55,380
I bet you knocked
her socks off.
481
00:18:55,380 --> 00:18:57,580
Yeah. I just feel bad
for the kids.
482
00:18:57,580 --> 00:19:01,330
They have to sit
through a puppet show now.
483
00:19:01,330 --> 00:19:04,170
I mean, you crashed our
ship into an iceberg,
484
00:19:04,170 --> 00:19:06,790
and then I panicked and start
throwing passengers overboard,
485
00:19:06,790 --> 00:19:08,620
but you just hopped
into your little tugboat
486
00:19:08,620 --> 00:19:12,000
and you got us back
on course. Toot, toot!
487
00:19:14,210 --> 00:19:17,250
You don't have to talk to me
like I'm a child.
488
00:19:17,250 --> 00:19:19,790
I did do that, though.
489
00:19:17,250 --> 00:19:19,790
Yeah, you did.
490
00:19:19,790 --> 00:19:23,040
You know, it doesn't surprise
me, the fires you start,
491
00:19:23,040 --> 00:19:25,580
but it always surprises
me how you put 'em out.
492
00:19:25,580 --> 00:19:29,170
Hey, it's my job to do
the best I can for our family.
493
00:19:29,170 --> 00:19:31,290
Huh? That way,
if the kids turn out bad,
494
00:19:31,290 --> 00:19:34,000
they can't blame it on us.
495
00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:36,290
I know this isn't
what you're going for,
496
00:19:36,290 --> 00:19:40,000
but... I am really
turned on right now.
497
00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:42,670
Baby, that's always
what I'm going for.
498
00:19:53,330 --> 00:19:56,790
The time has come.
Bon appétit, señor.
499
00:19:56,790 --> 00:19:58,790
You know, I wasn't
gonna make you
500
00:19:58,790 --> 00:20:00,170
really eat the ghost
pepper if you lost.
501
00:20:00,170 --> 00:20:01,960
Yes, you were.
502
00:20:00,170 --> 00:20:01,960
I know.
503
00:20:01,960 --> 00:20:04,170
Uh-huh.
504
00:20:04,170 --> 00:20:06,380
How hot is this thing?
505
00:20:04,170 --> 00:20:06,380
It's pretty hot.
506
00:20:06,380 --> 00:20:08,500
They made me sign some papers
and watch a video
507
00:20:08,500 --> 00:20:10,080
before they let me take it.
508
00:20:10,080 --> 00:20:12,330
Okay, would you be willing
to exchange it for a spider?
509
00:20:12,330 --> 00:20:13,830
I'll munch a spider right now.
510
00:20:13,830 --> 00:20:15,000
I've already seen that.
511
00:20:16,290 --> 00:20:19,040
Okay, fine.
512
00:20:19,040 --> 00:20:21,710
Oh, you got a little something
on your eye there.
513
00:20:21,710 --> 00:20:25,080
What?
514
00:20:21,710 --> 00:20:25,080
Yeah, right... yeah,
right there, yeah.
515
00:20:25,080 --> 00:20:29,330
Aah! Okay. I knew
you were gonna do that!
516
00:20:29,330 --> 00:20:30,830
But then I forgot.
517
00:20:30,830 --> 00:20:33,000
Oh, God. Aah.