1
00:00:04,338 --> 00:00:05,837
Thanks for cooking, Ma.

2
00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:07,839
I haven't had a real
home-cooked meal in...

3
00:00:07,841 --> 00:00:10,275
one day.

4
00:00:16,102 --> 00:00:18,516
God, you're pretty.

5
00:00:19,953 --> 00:00:22,354
Oh, you're lucky you're pretty, too.

6
00:00:23,423 --> 00:00:25,056
Oh, I've missed nights like this.

7
00:00:25,058 --> 00:00:27,959
Everybody I love under the same roof.

8
00:00:27,961 --> 00:00:30,161
Well, my wife couldn't
make it, so not everyone.

9
00:00:30,163 --> 00:00:32,097
I knew what I was saying.

10
00:00:34,029 --> 00:00:35,967
You guys got to come see
what the girls did to Grandpa.

11
00:00:35,969 --> 00:00:37,769
It's awesome.

12
00:00:37,771 --> 00:00:39,838
I bet it's not as awesome
as your mother's coffee.

13
00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:41,172
I made that.

14
00:00:41,174 --> 00:00:42,474
It's bitter. I don't...

15
00:00:51,685 --> 00:00:53,985
We turned him into a princess.

16
00:00:55,155 --> 00:00:57,055
He's all over my Instagram now.

17
00:00:58,324 --> 00:00:59,524
You're about to break the Internet.

18
00:00:59,526 --> 00:01:01,459
Good. I hate the Internet.

19
00:01:03,221 --> 00:01:07,690
Princess Cranky, the grumpiest
princess in all the land.

20
00:01:09,575 --> 00:01:12,018
You're such a pushover when
it comes to these kids, Joe.

21
00:01:12,024 --> 00:01:14,877
Well, I can't say no
to these sweet faces.

22
00:01:14,883 --> 00:01:16,741
Ah, well, when you live with them,

23
00:01:16,743 --> 00:01:17,876
that wears off pretty quick.

24
00:01:18,727 --> 00:01:20,557
Okay, guys, up to bed.

25
00:01:20,563 --> 00:01:21,413
- Good night, Grandpa.
- Good night, Grandpa.

26
00:01:21,415 --> 00:01:22,881
- Good night.
- Night. Night.

27
00:01:22,883 --> 00:01:24,382
- Love you.
- Night. Oh.

28
00:01:25,373 --> 00:01:28,520
Ooh, this damn shoulder's
barking at me again.

29
00:01:28,522 --> 00:01:29,991
You got a couple of pain pills?

30
00:01:29,997 --> 00:01:31,563
Did you check your purse?

31
00:01:33,381 --> 00:01:36,594
Relax, Princess. I'll get
you some from the kitchen.

32
00:01:38,632 --> 00:01:40,265
I worry about your dad.

33
00:01:40,267 --> 00:01:42,867
He's been taking way
too many pills lately.

34
00:01:42,869 --> 00:01:45,203
Well, if they're mood enhancers,
they've met their match.

35
00:01:46,473 --> 00:01:48,398
What does his doctor say about all this?

36
00:01:48,404 --> 00:01:50,975
Oh, he hasn't been
to the doctor since...

37
00:01:50,977 --> 00:01:54,212
Well, it was the morning
after Obama first won.

38
00:01:55,349 --> 00:01:57,582
His blood pressure
shot through the roof.

39
00:01:58,787 --> 00:02:01,023
Ma, that's almost ten years ago.

40
00:02:01,029 --> 00:02:02,454
You got to get him to go.

41
00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:06,562
I've tried, but he is
so stuck in his ways.

42
00:02:06,568 --> 00:02:07,715
About everything.

43
00:02:07,998 --> 00:02:09,353
Bought him a cordless phone.

44
00:02:09,359 --> 00:02:10,891
He still stands right next to the base.

45
00:02:10,897 --> 00:02:12,363
Makes me furious.

46
00:02:14,196 --> 00:02:15,740
Well, somebody should talk to him.

47
00:02:15,746 --> 00:02:17,179
Any volunteers?

48
00:02:20,767 --> 00:02:22,207
Fine, I'll do it.

49
00:02:22,209 --> 00:02:24,008
- Oh, thank you, honey. 
- Mm-hmm.

50
00:02:25,823 --> 00:02:26,978
No, no, no. No.

51
00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:28,795
Let's go upstairs and
pretend like we don't know

52
00:02:28,801 --> 00:02:31,481
what's happening. Come on.

53
00:02:31,487 --> 00:02:33,921
I learn something new
from you every day.

54
00:02:34,839 --> 00:02:36,719
Dad, you got to go to the doctor.

55
00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:38,350
If you don't get a check-up,

56
00:02:38,356 --> 00:02:40,058
how will you know if
something's wrong with you?

57
00:02:40,299 --> 00:02:41,754
I'd rather not know.

58
00:02:41,760 --> 00:02:44,150
Smile, smile, smile, dead.

59
00:02:44,156 --> 00:02:46,494
That's how I want to punch my ticket.

60
00:02:51,281 --> 00:02:52,220
Okay.

61
00:02:52,226 --> 00:02:53,872
Okay, when did you ever smile?

62
00:02:55,924 --> 00:02:57,442
He smiles at me all the time.

63
00:02:57,444 --> 00:02:59,844
Yeah, see? Why can't you
be more like your brother?

64
00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:02,051
He's always on my side, right, Donny?

65
00:03:02,057 --> 00:03:03,790
Ah, you got it, Pops.

66
00:03:04,647 --> 00:03:07,973
He's not on your side,
he's just a big yes man.

67
00:03:07,979 --> 00:03:10,547
Everybody's a yes man
when you're always right.

68
00:03:11,733 --> 00:03:13,483
All right, all right, so
let me get this straight.

69
00:03:13,485 --> 00:03:16,152
You two jokers have decided
you don't need doctors.

70
00:03:16,154 --> 00:03:19,656
I got through the Vietnam
War on aspirin and Bengay.

71
00:03:21,927 --> 00:03:23,359
That's not true.

72
00:03:23,361 --> 00:03:24,561
You weren't there.

73
00:03:26,831 --> 00:03:28,698
You weren't there!

74
00:03:29,289 --> 00:03:31,167
Adam, let me talk to you
for a minute in the kitchen.

75
00:03:31,169 --> 00:03:32,936
Come on.

76
00:03:46,350 --> 00:03:47,417
What?

77
00:03:47,419 --> 00:03:49,652
I just brought you in
here so Dad could leave.

78
00:03:49,654 --> 00:03:51,054
What?

79
00:03:51,056 --> 00:03:52,021
Dad!

80
00:03:52,023 --> 00:03:53,890
Thanks for letting me borrow your car.

81
00:04:05,787 --> 00:04:08,284
All right, Mom and
Dad'll be here any minute.

82
00:04:08,290 --> 00:04:09,892
Dad's been avoiding me all week about

83
00:04:09,898 --> 00:04:11,658
going to the doctor, but I know

84
00:04:11,660 --> 00:04:13,026
he can't resist brunch.

85
00:04:13,028 --> 00:04:15,662
That man would walk into a hail
of bullets for a plate of bacon.

86
00:04:15,664 --> 00:04:18,210
Yeah. I turned the exhaust fan on high

87
00:04:18,216 --> 00:04:19,849
so the smell wafts outside.

88
00:04:19,851 --> 00:04:22,496
He's gonna float in
here like a cartoon bear.

89
00:04:23,363 --> 00:04:26,061
You guys might get along better
if you stop nagging the old man.

90
00:04:26,067 --> 00:04:28,357
Hey, I'd much rather be
the fun son, like you,

91
00:04:28,359 --> 00:04:30,593
but someone has to step
up and deal with things.

92
00:04:30,599 --> 00:04:32,808
And that kind of attitude
is why he doesn't invite you

93
00:04:32,814 --> 00:04:34,314
to go mall walking with us.

94
00:04:35,095 --> 00:04:37,384
You guys go mall walking together?

95
00:04:37,386 --> 00:04:40,754
Yeah. We got matching
sweat suits. It's adorable.

96
00:04:40,756 --> 00:04:43,256
I'd mall walk if someone asked me.

97
00:04:43,258 --> 00:04:45,125
Three guys in matching sweat suits?

98
00:04:45,127 --> 00:04:46,826
That's a boy band, Adam.

99
00:04:50,399 --> 00:04:52,132
Honey, I'll go mall walking with you.

100
00:04:53,527 --> 00:04:54,982
Not you.

101
00:04:55,637 --> 00:04:56,970
- Hey.
- Morning.

102
00:04:56,972 --> 00:04:58,338
Hey, Ma.

103
00:04:58,340 --> 00:04:59,444
Where's Dad?

104
00:04:59,450 --> 00:05:00,719
He won't come. He doesn't want

105
00:05:00,725 --> 00:05:01,924
to hear it about the doctor.

106
00:05:02,086 --> 00:05:03,443
But Lowell was nice enough

107
00:05:03,445 --> 00:05:04,711
to give me a ride.

108
00:05:04,713 --> 00:05:06,994
He told me if I ever needed anything,

109
00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:08,214
I should call him.

110
00:05:08,216 --> 00:05:10,383
I didn't think she'd really call.

111
00:05:10,385 --> 00:05:11,518
Oh, she calls.

112
00:05:12,164 --> 00:05:13,623
Oh. I love him.

113
00:05:13,629 --> 00:05:15,696
It's like having a house boy.

114
00:05:19,227 --> 00:05:22,429
Lowell, you do not want to
start driving her around.

115
00:05:22,431 --> 00:05:23,830
All right? She's got
a million places to go,

116
00:05:23,832 --> 00:05:25,298
and they all suck.

117
00:05:25,830 --> 00:05:28,334
I can't tell her no; she's too nice.

118
00:05:28,336 --> 00:05:29,836
Listen, when I first married Adam,

119
00:05:29,838 --> 00:05:32,032
I got roped into driving her everywhere.

120
00:05:32,038 --> 00:05:33,473
And the only way I got out of it

121
00:05:33,475 --> 00:05:35,008
was by going into labor with Kate

122
00:05:35,010 --> 00:05:36,529
in the middle of a yarn shop.

123
00:05:36,849 --> 00:05:39,145
And before Andi, I used to drive her.

124
00:05:39,147 --> 00:05:40,880
That's when I learned
a little trick called

125
00:05:40,882 --> 00:05:42,715
"pretending to fall asleep."

126
00:05:43,212 --> 00:05:44,417
I got it from watching the possums

127
00:05:44,419 --> 00:05:45,618
on The Animal Channel.

128
00:05:46,621 --> 00:05:47,887
Who wouldn't mind driving me

129
00:05:47,889 --> 00:05:49,722
to the outlets on Saturday?

130
00:05:54,539 --> 00:05:55,801
I can't believe Dad wouldn't come.

131
00:05:55,807 --> 00:05:56,836
He is so stubborn.

132
00:05:56,842 --> 00:05:58,898
Oh, the both of you are stubborn.

133
00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:00,200
Hey, don't say I'm like Dad.

134
00:06:00,202 --> 00:06:01,048
You know I hate that.

135
00:06:01,054 --> 00:06:02,702
I wasn't going to.

136
00:06:02,704 --> 00:06:05,138
I was just going to
look at Andi knowingly.

137
00:06:05,140 --> 00:06:07,240
- Mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm.

138
00:06:08,238 --> 00:06:09,843
Okay, so nobody's gonna do anything?

139
00:06:09,845 --> 00:06:11,602
- Mm-mm.
- Mm-mm.

140
00:06:12,657 --> 00:06:13,585
Fine.

141
00:06:13,591 --> 00:06:15,515
I'll go over there and talk to Dad...

142
00:06:15,517 --> 00:06:16,950
who I'm nothing like...

143
00:06:17,222 --> 00:06:19,486
and be the bad guy like I always am.

144
00:06:19,488 --> 00:06:20,787
Bacon's not my only weapon.

145
00:06:20,789 --> 00:06:22,692
I got one more way to turn up the heat.

146
00:06:22,698 --> 00:06:25,325
Good luck. He already
keeps the heat on 82.

147
00:06:25,327 --> 00:06:28,061
You should see how I
sweat through my nightgown.

148
00:06:28,964 --> 00:06:30,463
Ma, no.

149
00:06:36,096 --> 00:06:39,072
Dad, I know you're home. I
heard you yelling at the news.

150
00:06:41,858 --> 00:06:43,810
Hey. Would you stop banging on my house?

151
00:06:43,812 --> 00:06:45,912
I'm trying to get my
dad to come out here.

152
00:06:45,914 --> 00:06:48,777
Wait, you're the landlord.
Can you unlock his door for me?

153
00:06:48,783 --> 00:06:50,817
Nah, I like him more than you.

154
00:06:50,819 --> 00:06:52,051
You like him?

155
00:06:52,053 --> 00:06:54,454
He calls you Mrs. Chiquita Banana.

156
00:06:54,456 --> 00:06:56,156
Yeah, and I call him Colonel Sanders.

157
00:06:56,158 --> 00:06:57,524
We have a thing, we're fun.

158
00:06:58,257 --> 00:07:00,044
What's with all the yapping, Charo?

159
00:07:00,505 --> 00:07:02,228
Dad, just get in the car.

160
00:07:02,230 --> 00:07:03,830
I don't have to do what you say.

161
00:07:03,832 --> 00:07:06,566
Fine, I can stand out here all day.

162
00:07:06,568 --> 00:07:08,768
Eh, not on my front porch, you can't.

163
00:07:08,770 --> 00:07:09,972
All right, you old drumstick,

164
00:07:09,978 --> 00:07:12,438
- get your Kentucky Fried butt in the car.
- Okay.

165
00:07:12,513 --> 00:07:15,508
Okay, settle down. I'm going.

166
00:07:16,478 --> 00:07:18,411
You want to learn how to be a man?

167
00:07:18,413 --> 00:07:19,612
Watch her.

168
00:07:21,349 --> 00:07:22,515
Wow.

169
00:07:22,521 --> 00:07:24,350
He got us both in one shot. He's good.

170
00:07:24,352 --> 00:07:25,685
Mm.

171
00:07:28,422 --> 00:07:30,930
Grandpa, please go to the doctor.

172
00:07:31,328 --> 00:07:32,651
Yeah, Grandpa.

173
00:07:32,657 --> 00:07:34,427
If you're gone, who's gonna ask me

174
00:07:34,429 --> 00:07:36,629
to pull their finger every morning?

175
00:07:40,059 --> 00:07:41,334
Grandma?

176
00:07:42,771 --> 00:07:45,505
No, that's a grandpa's job.

177
00:07:45,923 --> 00:07:47,010
He's teetering.

178
00:07:47,016 --> 00:07:49,909
Yep. And now the little one for the win.

179
00:07:55,050 --> 00:07:57,684
Please go to the doctor, Grandpa.

180
00:07:57,686 --> 00:07:59,786
I love you so much.

181
00:07:59,788 --> 00:08:04,057
Oh, kids, I can't say no to you.

182
00:08:04,059 --> 00:08:06,726
So why don't you leave the room
so I can say no to your dad.

183
00:08:08,232 --> 00:08:10,597
Come on!

184
00:08:10,599 --> 00:08:12,680
Everybody in this room

185
00:08:12,686 --> 00:08:14,697
goes to the doctor once a year.

186
00:08:14,703 --> 00:08:16,669
Okay, it's what normal humans do.

187
00:08:16,671 --> 00:08:17,742
What is your problem?

188
00:08:17,748 --> 00:08:21,207
Look, I had this friend,
Barney, from the VFW.

189
00:08:21,209 --> 00:08:23,543
His wife was named Libby.

190
00:08:23,709 --> 00:08:25,745
I always found that strange.

191
00:08:25,747 --> 00:08:29,182
Libby. What's that short for?

192
00:08:31,185 --> 00:08:33,052
Elibabeth?

193
00:08:33,680 --> 00:08:35,355
Can I talk here?

194
00:08:36,324 --> 00:08:37,861
Anyway, it had been a while,

195
00:08:37,867 --> 00:08:40,393
and Barney went in
'cause he had a cough.

196
00:08:40,395 --> 00:08:42,028
When he came out of
that doctor's office,

197
00:08:42,030 --> 00:08:43,496
his cough was gone.

198
00:08:43,498 --> 00:08:45,031
Because he was dead.

199
00:08:47,335 --> 00:08:49,035
Poor Elibabeth.

200
00:08:50,872 --> 00:08:53,039
Now she's a wibow.

201
00:08:55,701 --> 00:08:57,744
Don't do what he does.

202
00:08:58,915 --> 00:08:59,846
Let's go, Donny.

203
00:08:59,848 --> 00:09:02,057
I'm with you, Dad, just
like on our mall walks

204
00:09:02,063 --> 00:09:04,502
that Adam is not invited to.

205
00:09:06,554 --> 00:09:09,222
Yeah, did you know they
go mall walking together?

206
00:09:11,426 --> 00:09:13,526
I never should have
said anything to Adam.

207
00:09:13,528 --> 00:09:15,061
Now they're just in a big fight.

208
00:09:15,804 --> 00:09:17,700
Bev, this is going nowhere.

209
00:09:17,706 --> 00:09:19,945
Oh, they're throwing handfuls
of snow at each other.

210
00:09:19,951 --> 00:09:23,086
Oh, well, that's nice. I
like to see my boys playing.

211
00:09:25,148 --> 00:09:27,248
Here's what we'll do: I
will call Adam's doctor

212
00:09:27,250 --> 00:09:28,649
and make Joe an appointment,

213
00:09:28,651 --> 00:09:30,451
and then you will
annoy him until he goes.

214
00:09:30,453 --> 00:09:31,853
I can do annoying.

215
00:09:31,855 --> 00:09:33,387
Hi, um, I'd like to make an appointment

216
00:09:33,389 --> 00:09:34,745
with Dr. Phillips, please.

217
00:09:35,273 --> 00:09:36,369
What?

218
00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:39,060
Oh. Uh...

219
00:09:39,217 --> 00:09:41,171
No, that's okay. I'll call back.

220
00:09:41,177 --> 00:09:43,049
- Okay, bye-bye.
- What happened?

221
00:09:43,284 --> 00:09:46,380
Dr. Phillips retired five years ago.

222
00:09:46,584 --> 00:09:48,606
But Adam said he sees him every year,

223
00:09:48,612 --> 00:09:51,046
which means someone's a liar.

224
00:09:51,188 --> 00:09:54,434
Why would Dr. Phillips
lie about his retirement?

225
00:09:58,173 --> 00:10:01,241
Oh, that's right, you're Don's mom, too.

226
00:10:04,409 --> 00:10:07,708
Listen, you can't make me
do what I don't want to do.

227
00:10:07,714 --> 00:10:09,306
So why don't you go back in the kitchen

228
00:10:09,312 --> 00:10:10,825
with the rest of the jibbedas.

229
00:10:11,362 --> 00:10:12,560
What's a jibbeda?

230
00:10:12,562 --> 00:10:14,862
You know, jibbeda, jibbeda, jibbeda.

231
00:10:16,206 --> 00:10:17,071
Adam?

232
00:10:17,077 --> 00:10:18,232
Look, I was thinking,

233
00:10:18,234 --> 00:10:20,768
maybe your dad would feel
better if you told him

234
00:10:20,770 --> 00:10:22,770
how your last physical went.

235
00:10:22,772 --> 00:10:25,339
Huh? Wh-When was that again?

236
00:10:25,341 --> 00:10:26,935
Uh, I don't know, I saw Dr. Phillips,

237
00:10:26,941 --> 00:10:28,037
like, six months ago.

238
00:10:28,043 --> 00:10:28,984
Checked my heart,

239
00:10:28,990 --> 00:10:29,897
my blood pressure,

240
00:10:29,903 --> 00:10:31,803
gave me the one-handed juggle.

241
00:10:34,984 --> 00:10:36,150
That's interesting because

242
00:10:36,152 --> 00:10:38,052
Dr. Phillips retired five years ago.

243
00:10:38,054 --> 00:10:38,953
Yeah.

244
00:10:38,955 --> 00:10:41,088
I just called his office. Busted.

245
00:10:41,542 --> 00:10:44,275
No, no, not busted.

246
00:10:44,281 --> 00:10:46,594
I still go to his office,
but I see a different doctor.

247
00:10:47,049 --> 00:10:49,082
Oh, really? What's his name?

248
00:10:49,138 --> 00:10:50,695
Dr. Pepper.

249
00:10:52,670 --> 00:10:54,503
Literally any other
name would've worked.

250
00:11:01,619 --> 00:11:04,653
Adam, why haven't you
been going to the doctor?

251
00:11:04,655 --> 00:11:05,896
Get him, Bev.

252
00:11:07,725 --> 00:11:09,458
How can you say that to me and not Dad?

253
00:11:09,460 --> 00:11:12,645
Because I live with him and
he controls the thermostat.

254
00:11:12,710 --> 00:11:13,559
God.

255
00:11:13,565 --> 00:11:16,599
A person can only buy
so many nightgowns.

256
00:11:17,131 --> 00:11:18,913
Okay, look, last time I went,

257
00:11:18,919 --> 00:11:20,553
they wanted to run
all these extra tests,

258
00:11:20,559 --> 00:11:22,791
and I had to sweat the
results out for a week

259
00:11:22,797 --> 00:11:24,221
before they came back normal.

260
00:11:24,227 --> 00:11:26,056
It scared the crap out of me.

261
00:11:26,062 --> 00:11:28,043
So you lied and stopped going?

262
00:11:28,045 --> 00:11:30,448
Hey, you have secrets,
too, upstairs candy drawer.

263
00:11:34,667 --> 00:11:37,510
That is not mine, that
was here when we moved in.

264
00:11:38,221 --> 00:11:40,549
Dad, you're a doctor-hater,
back me up on this.

265
00:11:40,555 --> 00:11:43,392
Adam, you are being a moron
for ignoring your health.

266
00:11:43,660 --> 00:11:44,916
What?!

267
00:11:45,533 --> 00:11:47,129
From you? Seriously?

268
00:11:47,131 --> 00:11:49,765
Well, this is different.

269
00:11:49,767 --> 00:11:52,567
You have young kids, a beautiful wife.

270
00:11:52,569 --> 00:11:54,503
You have a reason to live.

271
00:11:55,739 --> 00:11:57,039
I heard that one, Joe.

272
00:11:57,941 --> 00:11:59,941
God, you're pretty.

273
00:12:01,512 --> 00:12:02,791
Very funny.

274
00:12:02,797 --> 00:12:05,665
The point is, we all want you to go.

275
00:12:07,542 --> 00:12:10,079
Okay, okay, I'll go.

276
00:12:10,085 --> 00:12:11,353
But on one condition:

277
00:12:11,355 --> 00:12:12,736
You're going, too.

278
00:12:13,494 --> 00:12:14,827
So you won't go unless I go?

279
00:12:14,833 --> 00:12:15,691
That's right.

280
00:12:16,005 --> 00:12:17,940
Just like when you potty-trained him.

281
00:12:20,033 --> 00:12:20,858
Fine.

282
00:12:20,864 --> 00:12:22,431
Ha-ha!

283
00:12:22,433 --> 00:12:24,066
You're going, too, Don.

284
00:12:30,084 --> 00:12:31,750
These gowns are ridiculous.

285
00:12:32,002 --> 00:12:32,918
Well, at least your gown fits.

286
00:12:32,924 --> 00:12:35,077
I'm flapping in the breeze down here.

287
00:12:35,079 --> 00:12:37,546
That's because they don't have
the Jolly Green Giant size.

288
00:12:37,983 --> 00:12:39,630
Speaking of that... ♪ Ho, ho, ho ♪

289
00:12:39,636 --> 00:12:41,036
Legs together.

290
00:12:41,857 --> 00:12:43,885
You know, we could be home
watching the game right now,

291
00:12:43,887 --> 00:12:47,055
but, no, you had to go and
make a big stink about this.

292
00:12:47,057 --> 00:12:48,957
Hey, I'm just trying to be a good son.

293
00:12:49,365 --> 00:12:50,531
I mean, look at this one.

294
00:12:50,537 --> 00:12:51,769
He keeps licking tongue depressors

295
00:12:51,775 --> 00:12:53,008
and putting them back.

296
00:12:53,721 --> 00:12:55,153
I got to be better than him.

297
00:12:56,700 --> 00:12:59,052
Well, all I know is
I've had enough already.

298
00:12:59,552 --> 00:13:02,404
And no way in hell you're
getting me through that door.

299
00:13:03,373 --> 00:13:04,940
Good morning, gentlemen.

300
00:13:04,942 --> 00:13:06,074
I'm Dr. Knox.

301
00:13:06,076 --> 00:13:07,743
I'll be doing your check-ups today.

302
00:13:07,745 --> 00:13:09,745
So, who's up first?

303
00:13:09,747 --> 00:13:11,747
That'd me be.

304
00:13:11,749 --> 00:13:13,515
Let's get this party started.

305
00:13:17,212 --> 00:13:19,254
- Here we go.
- Thank you.

306
00:13:20,148 --> 00:13:21,690
Well, it's a good thing
I threw on some pants,

307
00:13:21,692 --> 00:13:23,191
'cause I really thought
this house was empty.

308
00:13:23,193 --> 00:13:25,527
Oh. Hi, honey.

309
00:13:25,529 --> 00:13:26,971
I just wanted to be here when the boys

310
00:13:26,977 --> 00:13:28,232
came home from the doctor.

311
00:13:28,238 --> 00:13:30,432
And Lowell was nice enough
to give me another ride.

312
00:13:30,434 --> 00:13:31,967
We got up so early, we already stopped

313
00:13:31,969 --> 00:13:33,368
at the farmer's market.

314
00:13:34,666 --> 00:13:37,084
We helped the farmers set up.

315
00:13:38,522 --> 00:13:41,610
I found a potato that looks like Elvis.

316
00:13:41,612 --> 00:13:44,613
- Oh.
- Lowell said he'd glue some sideburns on.

317
00:13:45,769 --> 00:13:47,470
I did. I did say that.

318
00:13:47,476 --> 00:13:48,684
I don't know why.

319
00:13:49,887 --> 00:13:51,486
You know, Bev,

320
00:13:51,488 --> 00:13:54,022
Lowell has a family
and-and responsibilities.

321
00:13:54,024 --> 00:13:56,391
He-he can't keep giving
you rides everywhere.

322
00:13:56,393 --> 00:13:57,352
Oh.

323
00:13:57,358 --> 00:13:58,760
I'm so sorry, dear.

324
00:13:58,762 --> 00:14:00,228
I just wasn't thinking.

325
00:14:00,230 --> 00:14:03,098
You don't have to
take me to the outlets.

326
00:14:03,100 --> 00:14:04,766
Oh, Andi, you can take me.

327
00:14:04,768 --> 00:14:06,768
No. No. What...

328
00:14:06,770 --> 00:14:08,003
What just happened?

329
00:14:08,005 --> 00:14:10,172
- I'm free.
- Lowell?

330
00:14:10,174 --> 00:14:12,078
Get back here! No, you got to help me.

331
00:14:12,084 --> 00:14:14,505
No chance, sister. One of us
has to live to tell this story.

332
00:14:14,511 --> 00:14:15,977
- You...
- Hey, Lowell.

333
00:14:15,979 --> 00:14:17,779
- Out of my way!
- Whoa.

334
00:14:18,390 --> 00:14:19,181
Hey, boys,

335
00:14:19,183 --> 00:14:20,553
did you get a clean bill of health?

336
00:14:20,559 --> 00:14:22,584
Yeah, yeah, we're all good.

337
00:14:23,504 --> 00:14:24,436
But this lucky guy

338
00:14:24,442 --> 00:14:27,069
won himself a date with a colonoscopy.

339
00:14:28,764 --> 00:14:30,733
These prep instructions
read like a war movie,

340
00:14:30,739 --> 00:14:32,939
and my rear end's Omaha Beach.

341
00:14:33,968 --> 00:14:35,297
This is all your fault.

342
00:14:35,299 --> 00:14:37,098
Hey, I was just looking out for you.

343
00:14:37,100 --> 00:14:39,534
Well, I don't need it. Why don't
you just mind your own business?

344
00:14:39,536 --> 00:14:41,169
Because you are my business.

345
00:14:41,171 --> 00:14:43,521
You know, I took the day
off of work to make sure

346
00:14:43,527 --> 00:14:45,473
you stay healthy and live a long time.

347
00:14:45,475 --> 00:14:47,175
Jibbeda, jibbeda, jibbeda.

348
00:14:48,732 --> 00:14:51,091
And you wonder why I'd rather
hang out with your brother?

349
00:14:51,747 --> 00:14:53,007
Wow.

350
00:14:53,013 --> 00:14:55,172
You know, I haven't been
a dad as long as you,

351
00:14:55,178 --> 00:14:56,852
but I'm pretty sure you're
not supposed to say that.

352
00:14:56,854 --> 00:14:58,053
Oh.

353
00:14:58,055 --> 00:14:59,721
You and your new rules.

354
00:14:59,723 --> 00:15:01,590
In the old days, you could
hurt anybody's feelings.

355
00:15:01,592 --> 00:15:03,534
Okay, I can't even talk to him anymore.

356
00:15:03,540 --> 00:15:05,164
- Well, I can't talk to you either!
- Ah!

357
00:15:05,170 --> 00:15:07,162
Joe, I think you're overreacting.

358
00:15:07,164 --> 00:15:10,165
Yeah, I mean, they do these
colonoscopy things all the time.

359
00:15:10,167 --> 00:15:12,534
You know, they scare
you with the thought of

360
00:15:12,536 --> 00:15:14,169
aliens probing your butt,

361
00:15:14,171 --> 00:15:16,538
but it's your own people
you have to worry about.

362
00:15:20,914 --> 00:15:22,444
Aw, Oreos and milk?

363
00:15:22,446 --> 00:15:24,179
That's your sad snack.

364
00:15:25,285 --> 00:15:26,692
I'm not even pulling them apart

365
00:15:26,698 --> 00:15:28,598
- and having fun with them.
- Aw.

366
00:15:29,356 --> 00:15:30,318
You know,

367
00:15:30,477 --> 00:15:31,956
I'm just trying to help my dad.

368
00:15:31,962 --> 00:15:34,122
Would it kill him to say "thank you"?

369
00:15:34,124 --> 00:15:35,589
Oh, honey, I think it might.

370
00:15:35,595 --> 00:15:37,027
Yeah.

371
00:15:39,229 --> 00:15:41,329
I'm not asking for much, just a little,

372
00:15:41,331 --> 00:15:43,441
"Adam, I see that you look out for me

373
00:15:43,447 --> 00:15:45,352
and I appreciate that,
because your older brother

374
00:15:45,358 --> 00:15:46,924
is a narcoleptic ape."

375
00:15:49,039 --> 00:15:51,039
Look, he appreciates you.

376
00:15:51,041 --> 00:15:52,775
He's just not the kind
of guy that lets it out,

377
00:15:52,781 --> 00:15:55,482
but it's in there,
deep, deep down in there.

378
00:15:56,100 --> 00:15:58,413
Maybe they'll find it during the probe.

379
00:16:02,125 --> 00:16:04,593
Look, hon, it's always
been this way with you guys.

380
00:16:04,599 --> 00:16:05,862
He doesn't like to talk about feelings,

381
00:16:05,868 --> 00:16:07,055
you don't like to talk about feelings.

382
00:16:07,057 --> 00:16:08,390
You're both incredibly stubborn.

383
00:16:08,392 --> 00:16:10,287
In fact, you could say

384
00:16:10,293 --> 00:16:12,594
that the both of you are almost exact...

385
00:16:12,596 --> 00:16:14,195
Yeah, whoa, whoa, whoa!

386
00:16:14,197 --> 00:16:15,664
Don't say it.

387
00:16:15,666 --> 00:16:18,800
We agreed many years
ago you can't say that.

388
00:16:18,802 --> 00:16:21,870
I mean, what if I were to say
that you and your mother are...

389
00:16:21,872 --> 00:16:25,707
- Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
- Hey, hey, hey, hey.

390
00:16:26,275 --> 00:16:29,358
Let's just put the pins
back in these grenades

391
00:16:29,364 --> 00:16:31,564
and walk away.

392
00:16:48,219 --> 00:16:51,164
So your dad's colonoscopy
went very well.

393
00:16:51,368 --> 00:16:52,867
Oh, good. Good news.

394
00:16:52,869 --> 00:16:55,449
I have seen that man eat his whole life,

395
00:16:55,613 --> 00:16:56,968
and I just want to say I'm very sorry

396
00:16:56,974 --> 00:16:59,174
for what you had to go through today.

397
00:16:59,910 --> 00:17:02,094
Uh, just to warn you,

398
00:17:02,100 --> 00:17:03,812
he's probably going to be a little loopy

399
00:17:03,814 --> 00:17:05,447
from the anesthesia.

400
00:17:05,449 --> 00:17:08,773
He might say some things
he wouldn't normally say.

401
00:17:09,023 --> 00:17:11,019
What, like what he's really feeling?

402
00:17:11,021 --> 00:17:12,988
If he's feeling it, you'll hear it.

403
00:17:13,730 --> 00:17:15,690
Sometimes it's beautiful.

404
00:17:15,692 --> 00:17:17,525
Most of the time, it's creepy.

405
00:17:21,832 --> 00:17:24,132
Hey, Dr. Foxy.

406
00:17:26,336 --> 00:17:27,489
Dad, it's Dr. Knox.

407
00:17:27,495 --> 00:17:30,029
That's what I said, Dr. Knockers.

408
00:17:32,743 --> 00:17:34,209
So how you feeling?

409
00:17:34,211 --> 00:17:36,017
Jazzy, like a jazz man.

410
00:17:37,040 --> 00:17:37,979
Okay.

411
00:17:37,981 --> 00:17:39,612
Okay. Yeah.

412
00:17:39,637 --> 00:17:41,482
You know, when they
were putting me under,

413
00:17:41,488 --> 00:17:43,381
I got worried I'd never wake up.

414
00:17:44,139 --> 00:17:47,055
And then I'd never see
the people I love again.

415
00:17:47,345 --> 00:17:50,579
Your mother, your brother, Andi...

416
00:17:51,053 --> 00:17:52,786
those kids...

417
00:17:53,019 --> 00:17:54,889
Yeah, and?

418
00:17:55,802 --> 00:17:57,032
Tony.

419
00:17:58,966 --> 00:17:59,781
Tony?

420
00:17:59,787 --> 00:18:02,411
Yeah, Tony. I met him on the way in.

421
00:18:04,675 --> 00:18:06,385
I love that guy.

422
00:18:11,961 --> 00:18:15,750
Ah, I just need a signature
on these release papers.

423
00:18:15,752 --> 00:18:17,557
Oh, he's just getting dressed;
he'll be out in a minute.

424
00:18:17,563 --> 00:18:20,300
Uh, actually, these are for you.
He put you down as his proxy.

425
00:18:20,909 --> 00:18:22,891
- He did?
- Before he went in,

426
00:18:22,893 --> 00:18:25,060
he kept saying, "Make sure
Adam takes care of everything.

427
00:18:25,062 --> 00:18:26,542
He's the only one I trust."

428
00:18:28,538 --> 00:18:30,605
He actually said that?

429
00:18:30,611 --> 00:18:32,111
B-Before the drugs?

430
00:18:34,300 --> 00:18:35,211
Yeah.

431
00:18:36,655 --> 00:18:37,726
Well...

432
00:18:38,577 --> 00:18:39,739
on to the next butt.

433
00:18:39,745 --> 00:18:41,211
Ah.

434
00:18:51,188 --> 00:18:52,720
Hey, Dad.

435
00:18:53,073 --> 00:18:54,873
What are you grinning at?

436
00:18:57,421 --> 00:18:58,860
Nothing.

437
00:18:58,862 --> 00:19:01,262
Come on, everyone's
home, waiting to see you.

438
00:19:01,577 --> 00:19:03,320
I just had a damn
movie camera up my ass.

439
00:19:03,326 --> 00:19:05,558
I'm moving as fast as I can.

440
00:19:07,804 --> 00:19:11,239
Well, if we time it right,
we can finish our mall walk

441
00:19:11,241 --> 00:19:13,016
right when Cinnabon opens.

442
00:19:14,695 --> 00:19:15,874
Hey, guys.

443
00:19:18,366 --> 00:19:19,799
What are you doing here?

444
00:19:19,805 --> 00:19:21,807
Just heading down to
the mall for a walk.

445
00:19:21,932 --> 00:19:23,348
Are you guys going to the mall, too?

446
00:19:23,354 --> 00:19:24,752
That's lucky.

447
00:19:24,754 --> 00:19:26,714
No, no, no, no, no, this is our thing.

448
00:19:26,720 --> 00:19:29,082
Your thing is fighting,
our thing is friends.

449
00:19:29,088 --> 00:19:30,901
I'm going. Mom said I could.

450
00:19:32,010 --> 00:19:33,315
And you know what I have in my pocket?

451
00:19:33,321 --> 00:19:35,088
Three gift cards for Cinnabon.

452
00:19:36,099 --> 00:19:37,499
All right, let him in.

453
00:19:38,256 --> 00:19:40,468
And you know what I
have in my other pocket?

454
00:19:40,470 --> 00:19:42,403
Another gift card for suck it.

455
00:19:42,662 --> 00:19:44,095
Hey, Dad, wait up!

456
00:19:48,145 --> 00:19:49,878
Yeah, Bev, we want you
to be able to get around

457
00:19:49,880 --> 00:19:52,340
without depending on, well, me.

458
00:19:52,346 --> 00:19:54,479
Um, and we found a solution.

459
00:19:54,485 --> 00:19:56,452
It's a driving service called Uber.

460
00:19:56,454 --> 00:19:57,820
Uber?

461
00:19:57,822 --> 00:20:00,289
Sounds German. I don't like it.

462
00:20:02,060 --> 00:20:04,427
No, it's an app on your phone.

463
00:20:04,429 --> 00:20:07,096
You press a button and a
nice driver comes to you.

464
00:20:07,098 --> 00:20:08,720
How do they know where I am?

465
00:20:08,726 --> 00:20:11,660
I don't want the damn
Germans knowing where we are!

466
00:20:12,878 --> 00:20:15,712
World War Three breaks
out, I'm on the list!

467
00:20:15,714 --> 00:20:17,047
He's right.

468
00:20:17,049 --> 00:20:18,415
And something's coming.

469
00:20:18,417 --> 00:20:20,863
Things have been too good for too long.

470
00:20:20,869 --> 00:20:23,102
Okay, look, there's not
gonna be... you don't have...

471
00:20:23,688 --> 00:20:25,455
look, even if that happens,

472
00:20:25,457 --> 00:20:28,091
I'm pretty sure you're
way down on the list.

473
00:20:28,817 --> 00:20:31,361
On the list is on the list.

474
00:20:33,532 --> 00:20:34,965
I am nothing like him.

475
00:20:34,967 --> 00:20:37,300
- Of course not.
- Not at all.

476
00:20:37,302 --> 00:20:39,002
- Mm...
- Mm...

477
00:20:40,285 --> 00:20:42,314
Oh, jibbeda, jibbeda, jibbeda.

478
00:20:43,145 --> 00:20:48,145
Synced and corrected by Octavia 
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