1
00:00:08,674 --> 00:00:10,173
Hey.

2
00:00:10,259 --> 00:00:13,260
If we have to listen,
you have to listen.

3
00:00:15,923 --> 00:00:17,923
Oh.

4
00:00:19,351 --> 00:00:21,694
Well, I just loved it, Emme.

5
00:00:21,896 --> 00:00:24,647
I loved it, too. I don't
think I'll ever forget it.

6
00:00:24,732 --> 00:00:26,482
I can't wait for my recital.

7
00:00:28,374 --> 00:00:29,986
It's a two-hour concert, Adam.

8
00:00:30,071 --> 00:00:31,737
What if she's the best one?

9
00:00:32,476 --> 00:00:34,874
Uh, we'll boo.

10
00:00:34,909 --> 00:00:37,190
Other people's kids
need to know the truth.

11
00:00:37,745 --> 00:00:40,329
Oh, hey, Katie, by the way,

12
00:00:40,415 --> 00:00:41,881
there's a new Godzilla movie out.

13
00:00:42,510 --> 00:00:43,749
What?

14
00:00:43,802 --> 00:00:45,835
I said there's a new Godzilla movie out.

15
00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:48,242
We've been to every one.
You want to go this weekend?

16
00:00:48,457 --> 00:00:50,374
Thanks, but I'm okay.

17
00:00:51,734 --> 00:00:52,842
Well, I know you're okay,

18
00:00:52,927 --> 00:00:54,807
I was just wondering if
you want to see a movie.

19
00:00:55,543 --> 00:00:57,007
What?

20
00:00:58,200 --> 00:00:59,699
Never mind.

21
00:01:03,069 --> 00:01:05,487
"I'm okay"? What the heck is "I'm okay"?

22
00:01:05,512 --> 00:01:07,190
"I'm okay" is a nice way of saying,

23
00:01:07,275 --> 00:01:10,943
"I'd rather do nothing alone
than something with you."

24
00:01:11,966 --> 00:01:14,363
She used to love doing stuff with me.

25
00:01:14,449 --> 00:01:16,365
Well, I'll see the movie with you.

26
00:01:16,451 --> 00:01:19,176
Eh, thanks, but I'm okay.

27
00:01:19,838 --> 00:01:21,954
Honey, don't take it
personally, all right?

28
00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:24,624
Maybe she doesn't like
Godzilla movies anymore.

29
00:01:24,676 --> 00:01:28,427
Andi, everybody likes Godzilla.

30
00:01:28,463 --> 00:01:30,618
Not me. I-I don't get it.

31
00:01:30,643 --> 00:01:33,432
I-Is he a dinosaur, a-a dragon?

32
00:01:33,468 --> 00:01:36,602
Maybe he destroys cities 'cause
he doesn't know what he is.

33
00:01:37,470 --> 00:01:40,389
He was created by an atomic explosion.

34
00:01:40,475 --> 00:01:42,703
See, the radiation... Y-You know what?

35
00:01:42,728 --> 00:01:44,278
I'm not explaining it to you again.

36
00:01:45,751 --> 00:01:48,625
Look, honey, Kate's getting older.

37
00:01:48,650 --> 00:01:50,283
Okay? You're the parent.

38
00:01:50,318 --> 00:01:53,236
It's your job to figure
out how to connect with her.

39
00:01:53,321 --> 00:01:55,871
Yeah, I just need to find
something we have in common.

40
00:01:55,896 --> 00:01:59,815
Used to be Godzilla, now I have no idea.

41
00:02:00,495 --> 00:02:02,078
- Planet of the Apes, maybe?
- Eh...

42
00:02:03,998 --> 00:02:06,713
Hey, Dad, can you drop me at
the mall after school tomorrow?

43
00:02:11,894 --> 00:02:13,477
N-No problem.

44
00:02:13,502 --> 00:02:15,168
I am always here for you.

45
00:02:15,296 --> 00:02:17,843
Hey, how about a hug? Huh? Aww.

46
00:02:17,896 --> 00:02:20,096
Huh...?

47
00:02:21,637 --> 00:02:23,136
That was no hug.

48
00:02:23,161 --> 00:02:25,669
It's like she bumped
into me by accident.

49
00:02:26,614 --> 00:02:28,604
Yeah, the good hug days are over.

50
00:02:28,690 --> 00:02:29,917
If it makes you feel any better,

51
00:02:29,941 --> 00:02:31,524
I don't get them anymore, either.

52
00:02:31,576 --> 00:02:34,610
You know what? It does not
make me feel any better.

53
00:02:37,031 --> 00:02:39,448
You're not gonna believe
this. I won the lottery.

54
00:02:39,534 --> 00:02:42,285
Oh, my God. How much?

55
00:02:42,370 --> 00:02:43,869
The barbecue ribs lottery.

56
00:02:43,922 --> 00:02:45,838
Oh, my God. How much?

57
00:02:46,401 --> 00:02:47,818
What is a ribs lottery?

58
00:02:47,843 --> 00:02:50,351
I-It's for Frank's
Underground Barbecue.

59
00:02:50,376 --> 00:02:52,795
He's a backyard chef
who randomly texts people

60
00:02:52,880 --> 00:02:55,131
from his list when a new
batch of ribs is ready...

61
00:02:55,216 --> 00:02:56,777
if you're not gonna know about Godzilla,

62
00:02:56,801 --> 00:02:59,635
at least know about Frank.

63
00:02:59,721 --> 00:03:02,471
Oh. This is the perfect
way to connect with Katie.

64
00:03:02,557 --> 00:03:03,639
She loves ribs.

65
00:03:03,725 --> 00:03:04,868
Yeah, you know, when she was little,

66
00:03:04,892 --> 00:03:07,442
I used to take her for
barbecue on my motorcycle.

67
00:03:07,762 --> 00:03:10,062
You put my baby on the
back of your motorcycle?

68
00:03:10,114 --> 00:03:11,564
Come pick them up with me.

69
00:03:11,616 --> 00:03:13,399
We can put the ribs
in Emme's old car seat.

70
00:03:13,484 --> 00:03:14,650
Safety first.

71
00:03:18,323 --> 00:03:19,538
- Ooh.
- Whoa...

72
00:03:19,574 --> 00:03:21,707
Check out those ribs, Andi.

73
00:03:21,743 --> 00:03:23,721
You know, you look at cows,
and they're kind of ugly,

74
00:03:23,745 --> 00:03:25,222
but when you chop them
up into little pieces,

75
00:03:25,246 --> 00:03:27,544
- they're beautiful.
- Yeah.

76
00:03:27,778 --> 00:03:29,666
You know, we almost didn't
find Frank's Barbecue.

77
00:03:29,690 --> 00:03:31,417
We had to follow the smoke in the sky,

78
00:03:31,502 --> 00:03:32,947
like when they choose a new pope.

79
00:03:32,971 --> 00:03:34,337
Yeah.

80
00:03:35,110 --> 00:03:37,056
Katie, look, I got all your favorites.

81
00:03:37,091 --> 00:03:40,688
Ribs, mac and cheese, pork and beans.

82
00:03:40,969 --> 00:03:43,012
Actually, I'm a vegan now.

83
00:03:44,833 --> 00:03:45,898
What?

84
00:03:46,819 --> 00:03:49,239
I'm a vegan. I don't eat meat anymore.

85
00:03:49,637 --> 00:03:51,187
Why?

86
00:03:51,973 --> 00:03:52,769
Wait,

87
00:03:52,794 --> 00:03:53,739
we can do that?

88
00:03:53,775 --> 00:03:55,606
You always say we have
to eat whatever Mom makes,

89
00:03:55,630 --> 00:03:57,046
even if it's gross.

90
00:03:57,505 --> 00:04:00,247
Like her Andi Patties.

91
00:04:00,999 --> 00:04:02,476
Why won't you tell us what's in them?

92
00:04:02,500 --> 00:04:04,606
Because I want you to eat them.

93
00:04:05,708 --> 00:04:07,586
So you're a vegan now, huh?

94
00:04:07,622 --> 00:04:09,255
Good for you. I call Kate's ribs.

95
00:04:09,290 --> 00:04:11,457
Oh, no, no, no.

96
00:04:11,482 --> 00:04:15,135
Look, honey, we don't
allow vegans in this house.

97
00:04:15,666 --> 00:04:17,563
Okay? When you're older,
and you build a house

98
00:04:17,588 --> 00:04:20,216
with your bare hands,
you can let vegans in it.

99
00:04:20,441 --> 00:04:21,857
You didn't build this house.

100
00:04:22,248 --> 00:04:24,081
I installed the icemaker.

101
00:04:26,181 --> 00:04:27,246
Adam,

102
00:04:27,666 --> 00:04:30,554
what I'm hearing is that
Kate has a new interest,

103
00:04:30,579 --> 00:04:32,895
which you might be
interested in connecting to.

104
00:04:32,980 --> 00:04:34,720
I can't connect to that.

105
00:04:35,397 --> 00:04:37,087
She eats plants.

106
00:04:37,535 --> 00:04:40,236
I eat food you have to hunt.

107
00:04:40,745 --> 00:04:42,455
It's a cow, Adam.

108
00:04:43,097 --> 00:04:45,081
I didn't say it was hard.

109
00:04:57,255 --> 00:04:59,389
So is vegan like vegetarian?

110
00:04:59,424 --> 00:05:01,224
Uh, what things can't you eat?

111
00:05:01,259 --> 00:05:05,311
Well, there's meat, fish,
cheese, milk, butter.

112
00:05:05,346 --> 00:05:07,063
But those are all the things.

113
00:05:08,170 --> 00:05:10,183
They showed us a documentary
about it at school,

114
00:05:10,268 --> 00:05:12,769
and if you guys could've seen
the faces on those animals,

115
00:05:12,854 --> 00:05:14,437
you'd agree with me.

116
00:05:14,489 --> 00:05:17,190
This is a terrible idea.
Think of your mother.

117
00:05:17,275 --> 00:05:19,909
She's gonna have to cook two
different dinners every night.

118
00:05:19,944 --> 00:05:21,332
Well, you could cook one.

119
00:05:22,965 --> 00:05:25,048
I am on your side, here.

120
00:05:25,950 --> 00:05:27,583
Don, help me out?

121
00:05:27,619 --> 00:05:29,252
No can do. The ribs are kicking in.

122
00:05:29,287 --> 00:05:30,590
Time to take a meat nap.

123
00:05:32,782 --> 00:05:33,953
Mom,

124
00:05:33,978 --> 00:05:35,977
Emme and I decided to only eat cake now.

125
00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:38,920
If Kate gets to go vegan,
than we get to go caken.

126
00:05:40,632 --> 00:05:43,299
Well, my Andi Patties could be
made of cake. You don't know.

127
00:05:43,384 --> 00:05:45,301
I think they're made of ear wax.

128
00:05:45,971 --> 00:05:47,721
Okay, go upstairs, please.

129
00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:50,940
You see?

130
00:05:50,975 --> 00:05:54,560
Your vegan kick has started
a house-wide rebellion.

131
00:05:54,646 --> 00:05:55,873
If you'd just watch
the documentary with me,

132
00:05:55,897 --> 00:05:57,063
you'd get it.

133
00:05:57,148 --> 00:05:58,763
Look, I brought home a copy.

134
00:06:01,486 --> 00:06:03,453
"Apocalypse Cow"?

135
00:06:05,657 --> 00:06:07,481
Thanks, but I'm okay.

136
00:06:08,114 --> 00:06:10,177
This is your chance to connect with her.

137
00:06:10,202 --> 00:06:12,462
Yeah, well, I don't agree with her,

138
00:06:12,497 --> 00:06:14,464
I am top of the food chain.

139
00:06:14,499 --> 00:06:17,834
When a cow installs an
icemaker, I will stop eating it.

140
00:06:18,466 --> 00:06:21,671
You don't have to really be
interested, you just fake it.

141
00:06:21,723 --> 00:06:24,674
Like, like, I do when Teddy
tells me about his video games.

142
00:06:24,759 --> 00:06:27,143
"Mom, I zapped a space trooper."

143
00:06:27,178 --> 00:06:29,588
"That's great honey." Hug.

144
00:06:30,791 --> 00:06:33,599
You think if I watch that
movie with Katie, she'll hug me?

145
00:06:33,685 --> 00:06:35,485
She might go full koala.

146
00:06:38,127 --> 00:06:40,356
All right, I'll try it.

147
00:06:42,698 --> 00:06:44,982
Remember when the kids were
all over us all the time?

148
00:06:46,414 --> 00:06:48,468
- Maybe we should have another baby.
- Really?

149
00:06:51,627 --> 00:06:53,605
No, no, I'll try this.

150
00:06:54,941 --> 00:06:56,789
Before we start, I just want you to know

151
00:06:56,814 --> 00:06:58,675
it means a lot that
you'll watch this with me.

152
00:06:58,710 --> 00:07:01,127
Hey, I like spending time with you.

153
00:07:01,212 --> 00:07:03,963
But this movie is not
gonna change how I feel.

154
00:07:04,048 --> 00:07:07,049
I know how the sausage is
made, and it's delicious.

155
00:07:10,337 --> 00:07:13,306
I did not know how the sausage was made.

156
00:07:13,712 --> 00:07:16,475
And why'd they name the
chickens after famous people?

157
00:07:16,561 --> 00:07:19,028
That just made us sadder
when they got eaten.

158
00:07:19,291 --> 00:07:21,981
Poor Anne Hatch-away.

159
00:07:22,066 --> 00:07:25,093
And what about her
husband, Eggy Van Halen?

160
00:07:25,343 --> 00:07:28,499
He's heartbroken, she was the one.

161
00:07:29,772 --> 00:07:32,875
I can't believe I'm saying
this, but I'm done with meat.

162
00:07:32,911 --> 00:07:35,545
- What?
- I mean it, Katie.

163
00:07:35,580 --> 00:07:37,079
I'm going vegan with you.

164
00:07:37,587 --> 00:07:38,620
Really?

165
00:07:38,645 --> 00:07:40,323
I love you, Dad.

166
00:07:40,348 --> 00:07:42,168
I love you, honey.

167
00:07:42,253 --> 00:07:44,053
Oh, oh, are we done? Okay.

168
00:07:44,088 --> 00:07:47,056
Hey, I'll get Mom to do it, too.

169
00:07:47,614 --> 00:07:49,197
You're the best.

170
00:07:55,435 --> 00:07:57,934
Brace yourself. I've got big news.

171
00:07:57,986 --> 00:08:00,019
Katie hugged me.

172
00:08:00,104 --> 00:08:02,021
Aww, that's great.

173
00:08:02,106 --> 00:08:04,774
And all you had to do
was fake some interest.

174
00:08:04,859 --> 00:08:06,242
Parenting's easy.

175
00:08:06,589 --> 00:08:08,945
That's the other thing. I'm not faking.

176
00:08:08,997 --> 00:08:10,529
I am going vegan.

177
00:08:10,615 --> 00:08:12,866
Yeah, right.

178
00:08:12,891 --> 00:08:14,083
I am.

179
00:08:14,118 --> 00:08:17,086
- Oh, also, I told her you'd do it too.
- What?

180
00:08:17,121 --> 00:08:18,750
It bought me another hug, I'm not sorry.

181
00:08:18,775 --> 00:08:21,874
What... s-so now if I don't
do it, I look like a jerk.

182
00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:23,734
All you had to do was fake it.

183
00:08:23,759 --> 00:08:26,762
I couldn't. The movie was too powerful.

184
00:08:26,798 --> 00:08:29,048
There was this cow, his
name was Paul MooCartney...

185
00:08:29,133 --> 00:08:32,457
and... and do you know what veal is?

186
00:08:32,482 --> 00:08:35,271
How can we be Parmesan-ing
those little guys?

187
00:08:36,060 --> 00:08:37,473
So Kate really hugged you?

188
00:08:37,525 --> 00:08:39,237
Yeah, like this.

189
00:08:40,190 --> 00:08:43,980
- Oh. Wow.
- Yeah.

190
00:08:44,032 --> 00:08:47,149
Last time I got a hug like
that, I had to buy her a phone.

191
00:08:47,201 --> 00:08:49,690
But even then she
hugged the phone tighter.

192
00:08:50,655 --> 00:08:51,954
Okay, I'll do it.

193
00:08:51,990 --> 00:08:53,456
Oh, this is gonna be so great.

194
00:08:53,491 --> 00:08:55,781
We'll be healthier, happier and huggier.

195
00:08:55,806 --> 00:08:57,910
Okay, but-but, hey,
I just, I need to know

196
00:08:57,996 --> 00:08:59,813
- that you're really committed.
- Well...

197
00:08:59,837 --> 00:09:01,025
Don't you remember when you promised

198
00:09:01,049 --> 00:09:02,331
to do couples yoga with me?

199
00:09:02,383 --> 00:09:03,727
You didn't even make
it through one class.

200
00:09:03,751 --> 00:09:06,636
That lady touched my rear end.

201
00:09:07,244 --> 00:09:10,139
She was the instructor, and
she was adjusting your pose.

202
00:09:10,174 --> 00:09:12,475
She made it halfway to third base, Andi.

203
00:09:12,728 --> 00:09:14,810
But this isn't like that.

204
00:09:14,846 --> 00:09:17,329
I promise, I am fully committed.

205
00:09:17,994 --> 00:09:18,814
Okay.

206
00:09:18,850 --> 00:09:20,316
- Okay.
- Wait.

207
00:09:20,351 --> 00:09:23,885
You do know that going vegan
means no more McNuggets, right?

208
00:09:25,690 --> 00:09:27,523
I hadn't thought of that.

209
00:09:27,575 --> 00:09:29,608
I can do it.

210
00:09:32,675 --> 00:09:35,831
So here's what we've prepared
for your first vegan experience.

211
00:09:35,867 --> 00:09:38,617
Yeah. These nuggets are made of tofu,

212
00:09:38,703 --> 00:09:41,203
so they're chick-none nuggets.

213
00:09:41,255 --> 00:09:43,867
Okay? They taste just
like chicken, but wet.

214
00:09:44,467 --> 00:09:46,093
Eat it like an oyster.

215
00:09:46,711 --> 00:09:49,109
And this is macaroni and cashew cheese.

216
00:09:49,134 --> 00:09:53,132
Yeah, all the fun of
cashews, but in a paste.

217
00:09:53,477 --> 00:09:56,055
So you're trying to feed me nut cheese?

218
00:09:57,118 --> 00:09:59,093
Look, I know it's a big adjustment,

219
00:09:59,118 --> 00:10:00,856
but there is an upside.

220
00:10:00,892 --> 00:10:03,976
We get to act superior by
telling everybody we're vegan.

221
00:10:04,826 --> 00:10:06,729
And we're saving animals' lives.

222
00:10:06,814 --> 00:10:08,698
Yeah, that, too.

223
00:10:08,733 --> 00:10:10,649
Yeah, and we had a vegan breakfast.

224
00:10:10,735 --> 00:10:13,152
Bathroom-wise, it's
much more efficient.

225
00:10:13,237 --> 00:10:15,071
Okay, first bite starts the clock,

226
00:10:15,123 --> 00:10:17,193
so I don't recommend eating in the car.

227
00:10:17,490 --> 00:10:19,123
Bon appétit, everyone.

228
00:10:23,081 --> 00:10:24,380
Don!

229
00:10:24,415 --> 00:10:25,881
It was a primitive instinct.

230
00:10:25,917 --> 00:10:28,412
I ate poison and my body rejected it.

231
00:10:29,951 --> 00:10:31,670
All right, well, that-that-that's okay.

232
00:10:31,756 --> 00:10:32,796
It takes a little getting used to,

233
00:10:32,820 --> 00:10:34,902
but it's for the animals. Right, Katie?

234
00:10:34,926 --> 00:10:36,675
That's right, Dad.

235
00:10:36,761 --> 00:10:39,678
This is even worse than Andi Patties.

236
00:10:40,791 --> 00:10:44,493
Yeah, it tastes like
an Andi Patty's butt.

237
00:10:45,264 --> 00:10:47,069
Enough of this beatnik nonsense.

238
00:10:47,105 --> 00:10:49,146
Don, get those ribs out of the fridge.

239
00:10:49,171 --> 00:10:52,074
Dad, we don't eat that anymore.

240
00:10:52,110 --> 00:10:55,111
I didn't spend the Christmas
of '66 dodging bullets

241
00:10:55,196 --> 00:10:57,780
in a rice paddy to eat snot nuggets.

242
00:10:59,516 --> 00:11:01,128
You have to decide right now,

243
00:11:01,153 --> 00:11:03,252
are you a vegan or an American?

244
00:11:04,425 --> 00:11:06,038
You're missing the point.

245
00:11:06,124 --> 00:11:08,853
Those ribs came from an innocent cow.

246
00:11:08,878 --> 00:11:10,626
Cows are designed to be eaten.

247
00:11:10,711 --> 00:11:12,928
They're made of steak and cheese.

248
00:11:13,667 --> 00:11:17,633
You know what? You two are a
bad influence, so these ribs

249
00:11:17,685 --> 00:11:19,260
are going where they belong,

250
00:11:19,285 --> 00:11:21,554
- in the trash.
- I'm proud of you, honey.

251
00:11:21,639 --> 00:11:22,938
Thank you.

252
00:11:23,823 --> 00:11:26,488
Now, who wants a
soy-glazed mushroom cutlet?

253
00:11:26,949 --> 00:11:28,444
Donny, you know what to do.

254
00:11:28,479 --> 00:11:29,785
I'm one step ahead of you, Pop.

255
00:11:31,652 --> 00:11:32,972
What?

256
00:11:34,582 --> 00:11:36,986
You think the trash is gonna scare me?

257
00:11:37,038 --> 00:11:39,071
In the service, they
called me The Raccoon.

258
00:11:48,166 --> 00:11:51,547
Okay, okay, sweetie. So beautiful.

259
00:11:51,572 --> 00:11:53,187
Um,

260
00:11:53,212 --> 00:11:54,815
why don't you go get
dressed for your recital?

261
00:11:54,839 --> 00:11:56,639
I'm not going too fancy.

262
00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:59,341
I'll let my music speak for itself.

263
00:11:59,728 --> 00:12:01,762
Never lose that confidence, sweetie.

264
00:12:04,599 --> 00:12:07,313
Ugh. What?

265
00:12:07,969 --> 00:12:10,686
Oh, who leaves a half-eaten
Slim Jim in their backpack?

266
00:12:10,738 --> 00:12:12,734
It's all covered with lint

267
00:12:12,759 --> 00:12:16,304
and hair and... deliciousness.

268
00:12:17,956 --> 00:12:19,122
Andi!

269
00:12:19,697 --> 00:12:21,113
Put down that Slim Jim.

270
00:12:21,519 --> 00:12:22,766
Too late.

271
00:12:24,345 --> 00:12:25,868
It wasn't too late.

272
00:12:25,953 --> 00:12:28,454
You saw me and then you ate it.

273
00:12:28,539 --> 00:12:30,228
And now it's too late.

274
00:12:30,880 --> 00:12:33,888
Just don't tell Kate, okay?

275
00:12:33,945 --> 00:12:36,295
This vegan thing is working for me, too.

276
00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:37,880
This morning, she took out an earbud

277
00:12:37,965 --> 00:12:42,218
and voluntarily spoke
to me. She... she said,

278
00:12:42,303 --> 00:12:43,938
"Can I have ten dollars?"

279
00:12:46,001 --> 00:12:47,843
I'm not gonna tell Katie

280
00:12:47,868 --> 00:12:50,192
because I enjoy having
the moral high ground.

281
00:12:50,228 --> 00:12:52,438
The view's nice, I've
never been up here before.

282
00:12:53,774 --> 00:12:56,065
Hey, Mom, thank you so much

283
00:12:56,150 --> 00:12:58,150
for buying me those
strawberry snack bars.

284
00:12:58,236 --> 00:12:59,652
Oh, honey, you're welcome.

285
00:12:59,737 --> 00:13:02,451
No, seriously, it means a lot
that you support my choices.

286
00:13:02,551 --> 00:13:03,934
Aw.

287
00:13:07,235 --> 00:13:08,818
Your mom ate a Slim Jim.

288
00:13:11,582 --> 00:13:13,165
- What?
- Yeah.

289
00:13:13,251 --> 00:13:15,918
She barely chewed it, she
was like a seal with a fish.

290
00:13:17,496 --> 00:13:19,054
Oh, Mom.

291
00:13:19,079 --> 00:13:20,879
Your mother's betrayal
must be very hard for you.

292
00:13:20,903 --> 00:13:21,943
Come on, let's hug it out.

293
00:13:23,064 --> 00:13:24,393
Well, I'm not that upset.

294
00:13:24,418 --> 00:13:25,667
No, no, it's for your own good.

295
00:13:36,315 --> 00:13:38,949
Okay, Don's all set up in the back

296
00:13:38,984 --> 00:13:40,450
to record Emme's recital.

297
00:13:40,519 --> 00:13:42,110
He's so tall, no one can block him.

298
00:13:42,135 --> 00:13:44,766
He's like a giraffe with a camera.

299
00:13:46,585 --> 00:13:48,592
Don't act like everything's fine.

300
00:13:49,430 --> 00:13:51,161
You sold me out to Kate.

301
00:13:51,213 --> 00:13:52,828
I had to.

302
00:13:52,915 --> 00:13:55,783
There's only a limited amount of
hugs until she goes to college.

303
00:13:55,868 --> 00:13:57,671
I'm getting as many as I can.

304
00:13:57,812 --> 00:13:59,003
What about me?

305
00:13:59,038 --> 00:14:01,505
You're fine, the breastfeeding years

306
00:14:01,541 --> 00:14:04,458
were like one long hug for you.

307
00:14:04,544 --> 00:14:06,249
It's my time.

308
00:14:07,213 --> 00:14:09,179
Hi.

309
00:14:09,215 --> 00:14:10,881
Yes, we're arguing,

310
00:14:10,967 --> 00:14:14,134
but life is complicated
for us because we're vegan.

311
00:14:14,220 --> 00:14:17,550
Yeah, that's right, full-blown vegan.

312
00:14:18,379 --> 00:14:21,730
Well, some of us are. She cheated on me.

313
00:14:21,964 --> 00:14:23,477
With jerky.

314
00:14:23,563 --> 00:14:25,145
And I am back on the wagon.

315
00:14:25,223 --> 00:14:27,632
Yeah, I made a chicken
for Teddy and Emme today,

316
00:14:27,666 --> 00:14:28,915
I wasn't even tempted.

317
00:14:30,068 --> 00:14:32,071
I saved the gizzards for Andi Patties.

318
00:14:33,573 --> 00:14:35,406
Next up, Emme Burns.

319
00:14:35,491 --> 00:14:38,909
Oh, there she is. That's our daughter.

320
00:14:45,128 --> 00:14:46,690
She's not a vegan.

321
00:14:49,753 --> 00:14:50,800
This is a great gig.

322
00:14:50,825 --> 00:14:52,783
I just made 40 bucks charging short moms

323
00:14:52,808 --> 00:14:54,224
to videotape their kids.

324
00:14:55,253 --> 00:14:57,928
Don, this is my kid's school.

325
00:14:58,014 --> 00:14:59,513
I should get half.

326
00:15:01,100 --> 00:15:03,601
Ugh. Look at this.

327
00:15:03,626 --> 00:15:06,729
I finally get picked for Frank's
barbecue and I can't have it.

328
00:15:06,754 --> 00:15:08,083
It's like when my high school teacher

329
00:15:08,107 --> 00:15:09,823
hit on me after I was married.

330
00:15:09,848 --> 00:15:12,762
Ah, Miss Popovich.
She made algebra sexy.

331
00:15:13,402 --> 00:15:16,030
I wore a tank top for
four years, nothing.

332
00:15:16,115 --> 00:15:18,408
Married six months, here she comes.

333
00:15:19,368 --> 00:15:21,201
I'll just text and say
I don't want the ribs.

334
00:15:21,287 --> 00:15:22,674
Whoa, don't do that. I'll take them.

335
00:15:22,698 --> 00:15:24,266
Well, if you want them,
go get them yourself.

336
00:15:24,290 --> 00:15:26,180
I can't, they check your ID.

337
00:15:26,205 --> 00:15:27,591
- Ugh.
- Come on, you owe me.

338
00:15:27,627 --> 00:15:29,651
You threw my ribs in the
garbage. I didn't get any.

339
00:15:29,676 --> 00:15:31,629
Raccoons don't share.

340
00:15:33,980 --> 00:15:35,396
Okay, fine, I'll go,

341
00:15:35,421 --> 00:15:36,884
but Andi can never know.

342
00:15:36,969 --> 00:15:38,435
I snitched on her for sneaking jerky

343
00:15:38,471 --> 00:15:40,467
and she's looking for revenge.

344
00:15:40,492 --> 00:15:42,351
You guys have a weird marriage.

345
00:15:43,070 --> 00:15:45,717
- Will you please?
- Okay, I'll cover for you.

346
00:15:45,742 --> 00:15:49,480
Okay, just, uh, oh, tell Andi
I went home to use the bathroom.

347
00:15:49,532 --> 00:15:51,241
I'm a vegan, she'll believe it.

348
00:15:54,780 --> 00:15:57,832
Okay, Emme went to a
sleepover. Where's Adam?

349
00:15:57,857 --> 00:15:59,751
Oh, he was having vegan problems,

350
00:15:59,776 --> 00:16:01,589
so he went home to use the bathroom.

351
00:16:01,614 --> 00:16:03,134
Why wouldn't he use the bathroom here?

352
00:16:03,877 --> 00:16:08,181
Well, because he wanted
to stop on the way

353
00:16:08,206 --> 00:16:09,917
and get Emme flowers

354
00:16:10,190 --> 00:16:12,419
because the recital was so good.

355
00:16:12,505 --> 00:16:15,003
Okay, now I know you're lying.

356
00:16:15,550 --> 00:16:17,204
Where is he?

357
00:16:17,307 --> 00:16:20,136
Fine, he's sleeping with
his high school teacher.

358
00:16:20,600 --> 00:16:22,016
Don.

359
00:16:22,183 --> 00:16:24,931
Okay, okay, he won the barbecue lottery.

360
00:16:24,956 --> 00:16:26,479
He went to pick up the ribs.

361
00:16:26,543 --> 00:16:28,435
Oh, you have got to be kidding me.

362
00:16:28,521 --> 00:16:30,654
Mister Holier-Than-Thou is getting ribs

363
00:16:30,690 --> 00:16:32,322
while-while I'm an outcast

364
00:16:32,358 --> 00:16:35,292
for eating a hairy, backpack Slim Jim?

365
00:16:35,940 --> 00:16:38,673
He's not getting them for
himself, he's giving them to me.

366
00:16:38,698 --> 00:16:40,197
Come on, Don, we both know better.

367
00:16:40,282 --> 00:16:41,865
He can't resist barbecue.

368
00:16:41,951 --> 00:16:44,201
His first time alone in
the car with those ribs

369
00:16:44,286 --> 00:16:47,037
will be like his first
time alone in a car with me.

370
00:16:47,089 --> 00:16:48,706
Lots of grabbing, heavy breathing,

371
00:16:48,791 --> 00:16:50,708
and windows steaming up.

372
00:16:51,041 --> 00:16:53,266
- He's not doing that to my ribs.
- Let's go.

373
00:16:58,750 --> 00:17:02,136
Smell good all you want,
I'm taking you to Don's.

374
00:17:02,451 --> 00:17:05,826
I'm doing this for Katie
and Anne Hatch-away,

375
00:17:06,308 --> 00:17:08,857
and Veal Patrick Harris.

376
00:17:10,748 --> 00:17:14,732
Aw, who am I kidding?
I can't control myself.

377
00:17:14,784 --> 00:17:18,197
This is just like my first
time alone in the car with Andi.

378
00:17:18,222 --> 00:17:20,284
I'm sorry, Katie.

379
00:17:21,612 --> 00:17:24,417
I saw his truck. He's
here with those ribs.

380
00:17:25,628 --> 00:17:29,112
I smell it. The meat is near.

381
00:17:33,830 --> 00:17:36,111
Good boy, Don, good boy.

382
00:17:47,103 --> 00:17:48,766
Classic meat nap.

383
00:17:49,136 --> 00:17:50,969
Look how happy he is.

384
00:17:50,994 --> 00:17:52,686
I'm going to get the hose.

385
00:17:52,772 --> 00:17:56,228
Wait, Andi, let's remember
what's important here.

386
00:17:58,025 --> 00:17:59,859
Okay, let him have it.

387
00:18:01,413 --> 00:18:04,687
Okay, I'm sorry I ate the ribs.

388
00:18:04,765 --> 00:18:06,950
Lay it on me, I deserve it.

389
00:18:07,002 --> 00:18:09,927
No, you know what? This makes sense

390
00:18:09,952 --> 00:18:11,577
'cause for a couple
hours today I was thinking

391
00:18:11,601 --> 00:18:13,018
you were better than
me, and then I was like,

392
00:18:13,042 --> 00:18:15,425
"Well, that can't be
right." And look, it's not.

393
00:18:16,918 --> 00:18:19,534
The thing is, I can't be a vegan.

394
00:18:19,559 --> 00:18:23,403
It's like asking Godzilla
not to stomp on Tokyo.

395
00:18:23,989 --> 00:18:26,804
He has to do it, it's who he is.

396
00:18:28,541 --> 00:18:29,900
You gonna tell Kate?

397
00:18:29,925 --> 00:18:33,297
Well, yeah, I can't let her hug a lie.

398
00:18:33,322 --> 00:18:36,080
She deserves the truth.
I'll-I'll go tell her now.

399
00:18:36,322 --> 00:18:38,063
Hey, maybe bring her

400
00:18:38,088 --> 00:18:40,588
one of those strawberry
snack bars to soften her up.

401
00:18:40,613 --> 00:18:41,779
Got me a hug.

402
00:18:47,196 --> 00:18:48,876
- Katie?
- I'm sorry.

403
00:18:48,911 --> 00:18:50,806
I saw chicken in the fridge
and I couldn't resist.

404
00:18:50,830 --> 00:18:52,732
I love meat too much.

405
00:18:53,215 --> 00:18:54,832
So do I!

406
00:18:54,917 --> 00:18:57,247
I just ate a half a cow.

407
00:18:58,240 --> 00:19:01,638
Really? That makes me
feel so much better.

408
00:19:02,752 --> 00:19:05,142
Oh, and this hug is even nicer

409
00:19:05,177 --> 00:19:07,572
because we both smell like meat.

410
00:19:10,477 --> 00:19:11,837
Nah!

411
00:19:14,740 --> 00:19:15,856
Ah...

412
00:19:21,701 --> 00:19:23,470
Ah, that was some good chicken.

413
00:19:23,495 --> 00:19:24,618
Mm.

414
00:19:24,672 --> 00:19:27,277
Anne Hatch-away and her
finger-licking friends

415
00:19:27,302 --> 00:19:29,513
went out in a blaze of glory.

416
00:19:30,439 --> 00:19:32,706
And we put out that
blaze with honey mustard.

417
00:19:32,731 --> 00:19:34,980
Yeah.

418
00:19:35,716 --> 00:19:38,505
I do feel kind of bad
for giving up though.

419
00:19:39,345 --> 00:19:40,629
Hey,

420
00:19:40,654 --> 00:19:42,216
how about this?

421
00:19:42,497 --> 00:19:44,153
We'll keep eating meat,

422
00:19:44,178 --> 00:19:46,466
but we'll donate to the
animal rights people.

423
00:19:46,661 --> 00:19:47,802
Really?

424
00:19:47,844 --> 00:19:49,859
Yeah. We'll do whatever we want,

425
00:19:49,892 --> 00:19:53,059
but we'll give a little money to
the people who do the right thing.

426
00:19:53,434 --> 00:19:54,473
Okay?

427
00:19:55,341 --> 00:19:58,779
And that is how you get around that.

428
00:20:00,536 --> 00:20:05,536
Synced and corrected by Octavia 
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