1
00:00:01,585 --> 00:00:03,353
Here's to the sale of our flip house.

2
00:00:03,378 --> 00:00:05,878
Much like me, it looks
good on the outside,

3
00:00:05,914 --> 00:00:07,797
but it has a questionable foundation.

4
00:00:07,832 --> 00:00:09,215
Cheers.

5
00:00:09,251 --> 00:00:11,217
Hey, hey, hey, hey,
don't jinx this thing.

6
00:00:11,253 --> 00:00:13,002
The buyers can still back out until

7
00:00:13,054 --> 00:00:15,421
the end of business
today, which is in...

8
00:00:15,423 --> 00:00:17,588
four... three...

9
00:00:17,613 --> 00:00:19,592
Too late, suckers!

10
00:00:19,594 --> 00:00:20,871
Whoo!

11
00:00:20,896 --> 00:00:22,228
They're stuck with it!

12
00:00:22,230 --> 00:00:24,731
I mean, good for them.
It's a lovely home.

13
00:00:25,018 --> 00:00:27,734
All right, Don and I
have a big surprise.

14
00:00:27,736 --> 00:00:29,869
The house sold for
more than we expected.

15
00:00:29,905 --> 00:00:31,349
We're putting most of the money aside

16
00:00:31,373 --> 00:00:32,547
to buy another flip, but...

17
00:00:32,572 --> 00:00:35,603
But there's enough left for
everyone to get a nice bonus.

18
00:00:37,031 --> 00:00:38,553
I was gonna do that part.

19
00:00:38,578 --> 00:00:39,712
Yeah, but I wanted to do it.

20
00:00:39,748 --> 00:00:42,415
Look how much they like me now.

21
00:00:42,802 --> 00:00:45,552
All I ask is that you
don't do anything practical

22
00:00:45,587 --> 00:00:47,637
with the money. Reward yourselves.

23
00:00:47,672 --> 00:00:49,806
Like, Don and I are using our bonuses

24
00:00:49,841 --> 00:00:52,008
to celebrate my 50th
birthday Burns style.

25
00:00:52,060 --> 00:00:53,259
Ah...!

26
00:00:53,302 --> 00:00:55,315
Whatever it is, I'm in.

27
00:00:55,340 --> 00:00:56,874
We're doing a week-long dirt bike ride

28
00:00:56,898 --> 00:00:58,765
in Colorado down a gnarly trail

29
00:00:58,817 --> 00:01:00,183
called the Devil's Tailpipe.

30
00:01:00,235 --> 00:01:01,924
I'm out.

31
00:01:03,698 --> 00:01:05,772
But I'd be back in if you wanted to go

32
00:01:05,774 --> 00:01:08,274
to the lake and paddle
around in a swan boat?

33
00:01:09,341 --> 00:01:11,977
Burns men don't do swan boats, Lowell.

34
00:01:12,559 --> 00:01:14,845
You're just gonna have
to let that coupon expire.

35
00:01:17,173 --> 00:01:19,536
Sweetie? I say this with love.

36
00:01:19,588 --> 00:01:21,204
But, um, you're turning 50.

37
00:01:21,256 --> 00:01:23,289
I think the window
may have closed on you

38
00:01:23,291 --> 00:01:25,709
riding a motorcycle
down Satan's Butt Crack.

39
00:01:27,983 --> 00:01:29,537
Devil's Tailpipe.

40
00:01:29,967 --> 00:01:31,798
Wow. 50, huh?

41
00:01:32,569 --> 00:01:35,018
That means you were 16 when I was born.

42
00:01:35,053 --> 00:01:37,971
You could've driven my mother
to the hospital to have me.

43
00:01:39,325 --> 00:01:41,325
No more old jokes. Got it.

44
00:01:42,624 --> 00:01:43,716
Okay, look,

45
00:01:43,741 --> 00:01:45,478
I have only ever had two things

46
00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:47,780
on my bucket list: the Devil's Tailpipe

47
00:01:47,816 --> 00:01:49,732
and Angelina Jolie.

48
00:01:49,784 --> 00:01:52,602
Angelina's just a lady
with a bunch of kids now,

49
00:01:52,627 --> 00:01:54,710
and I already have one of those.

50
00:01:55,455 --> 00:01:58,008
- I just don't want you to get hurt.
- Well, I...

51
00:01:58,033 --> 00:01:59,993
What do you think about
Don going on this trip?

52
00:01:59,995 --> 00:02:01,327
I don't like it.

53
00:02:01,329 --> 00:02:02,829
Hey, best-case scenario,

54
00:02:02,831 --> 00:02:04,747
I come home reenergized and happy.

55
00:02:04,799 --> 00:02:07,661
Worst-case scenario, my
life insurance is paid

56
00:02:07,686 --> 00:02:09,019
and you're rich.

57
00:02:10,488 --> 00:02:12,571
Okay, I'm coming around.

58
00:02:14,911 --> 00:02:17,177
Okay, it's time to open presents.

59
00:02:17,388 --> 00:02:18,667
Look at all these gifts.

60
00:02:18,692 --> 00:02:21,378
You told me people were
just bringing best wishes.

61
00:02:21,659 --> 00:02:24,150
Happy birthday, little brother.

62
00:02:24,186 --> 00:02:26,486
I wish you the best.

63
00:02:26,521 --> 00:02:28,605
That's from me and Marcy.

64
00:02:29,409 --> 00:02:31,357
All right, hey, Mom and Dad.

65
00:02:31,703 --> 00:02:35,778
Thanks for... whatever this is.

66
00:02:35,830 --> 00:02:37,891
It's a sock puller-upper.

67
00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:39,999
To help you put on your socks.

68
00:02:40,766 --> 00:02:42,285
Happy birthday, son.

69
00:02:42,337 --> 00:02:44,537
You've bent over for the last time.

70
00:02:46,258 --> 00:02:49,759
I can put my own socks on.
I'm not old, I'm middle-aged.

71
00:02:49,794 --> 00:02:53,482
50 isn't middle-aged,
it's two-thirds aged.

72
00:02:54,193 --> 00:02:56,036
Happy birthday to you.

73
00:02:56,310 --> 00:02:57,684
Open mine.

74
00:02:57,719 --> 00:02:59,269
I love surprising people.

75
00:02:59,304 --> 00:03:01,387
It's a GoPro camera. I couldn't wait.

76
00:03:03,075 --> 00:03:05,242
- Andi got you a shirt.
- Lowell!

77
00:03:06,778 --> 00:03:10,578
This is cool! I could take
this to the Devil's Tailpipe!

78
00:03:10,603 --> 00:03:12,260
I can't believe you're
really doing that.

79
00:03:12,284 --> 00:03:14,901
Doing what? What's the Devil's Tailpipe?

80
00:03:14,953 --> 00:03:18,071
Is it a sex club? Oh, Adam.

81
00:03:18,422 --> 00:03:21,272
Yes, Ma, I'm going to a
sex club on my birthday.

82
00:03:21,297 --> 00:03:22,879
And I'm announcing it in
front of the whole family.

83
00:03:22,903 --> 00:03:23,985
You want to go?

84
00:03:25,163 --> 00:03:27,163
No, your son wants to ride a motorcycle

85
00:03:27,215 --> 00:03:28,748
down the side of a mountain.

86
00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:30,750
And he hasn't been on
a dirt bike in years.

87
00:03:30,752 --> 00:03:32,085
I'll be fine.

88
00:03:32,137 --> 00:03:35,016
You're only as old as you
feel, and I feel like a kid.

89
00:03:35,041 --> 00:03:36,174
This morning, I put a banana

90
00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:37,890
between two oranges
at the breakfast table

91
00:03:37,926 --> 00:03:40,560
and I laughed for ten minutes.

92
00:03:41,456 --> 00:03:44,097
I don't get it. What's funny
about a healthy breakfast?

93
00:03:45,557 --> 00:03:47,734
Look, Adam, you know
that, as you've aged,

94
00:03:47,769 --> 00:03:49,402
you've had to give some things up.

95
00:03:49,437 --> 00:03:52,322
Even things you love.
Remember sauerkraut?

96
00:03:52,821 --> 00:03:54,607
- I did love sauerkraut.
- Mm-hmm.

97
00:03:54,843 --> 00:03:56,676
I miss it every damn day.

98
00:03:57,430 --> 00:04:00,747
But sauerkraut has hurt way
more people than motorcycles.

99
00:04:01,866 --> 00:04:02,999
Let him go, Andi.

100
00:04:03,034 --> 00:04:04,250
Believe me.

101
00:04:04,286 --> 00:04:06,619
A day will come when all
your husband wants to do

102
00:04:06,621 --> 00:04:09,028
is just sit on the couch.

103
00:04:10,028 --> 00:04:12,300
- Where do you want me to go, Bev?
- I don't know.

104
00:04:12,325 --> 00:04:13,793
How about a nice nature walk?

105
00:04:13,845 --> 00:04:15,795
I've already taken a nice nature walk.

106
00:04:15,797 --> 00:04:17,630
It's called Vietnam.

107
00:04:32,628 --> 00:04:33,744
Yeah.

108
00:04:34,816 --> 00:04:36,399
Thanks, everyone.

109
00:04:36,451 --> 00:04:39,118
Aw, um, here's to 50 years young.

110
00:04:39,154 --> 00:04:41,475
Whoo. Whoo!

111
00:04:41,500 --> 00:04:42,955
Ha-ha!

112
00:04:42,991 --> 00:04:44,624
Ah, oh!

113
00:04:46,044 --> 00:04:47,737
- Oh.
- What's wrong?

114
00:04:49,141 --> 00:04:50,391
Did you just throw your back out

115
00:04:50,415 --> 00:04:52,498
blowing out your birthday candles?

116
00:04:53,320 --> 00:04:54,634
Of course not.

117
00:04:55,219 --> 00:04:57,503
I'm relishing this precious moment.

118
00:04:59,638 --> 00:05:02,175
It's so emotional, I
think I need to be alone.

119
00:05:02,770 --> 00:05:05,013
Don, come be alone with me.

120
00:05:07,232 --> 00:05:10,655
Look at this. I'm walking
like an old guy 'cause I'm 50.

121
00:05:24,199 --> 00:05:27,150
Okay, don't tell anyone,

122
00:05:27,152 --> 00:05:28,735
but I hurt my back.

123
00:05:29,409 --> 00:05:31,989
I don't need to tell anyone.
You look like a boomerang.

124
00:05:33,214 --> 00:05:34,324
If Andi thinks I'm hurt,

125
00:05:34,376 --> 00:05:36,784
there's no way she'll let
me go on our dirt bike trip.

126
00:05:36,809 --> 00:05:38,596
You got, you got to
straighten my back out.

127
00:05:38,621 --> 00:05:40,087
All right, got it.

128
00:05:45,671 --> 00:05:46,924
How do you feel now?

129
00:05:46,972 --> 00:05:48,438
Worse!

130
00:05:48,474 --> 00:05:49,534
Okay. Okay, well, that's good.

131
00:05:49,558 --> 00:05:51,724
You're supposed to feel
worse, and then it gets better.

132
00:05:51,760 --> 00:05:53,843
You put me back the way
I was. I can't take this.

133
00:05:53,895 --> 00:05:55,512
Right.

134
00:05:59,215 --> 00:06:00,167
How do you feel now?

135
00:06:00,192 --> 00:06:01,935
Much worse.

136
00:06:01,987 --> 00:06:04,669
Okay. Okay, good, good.
We're making progress.

137
00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:08,001
Okay, now you're gonna
have to trust me on this.

138
00:06:08,419 --> 00:06:10,588
Whoa-whoa-whoa,
what's the rake for?

139
00:06:10,613 --> 00:06:12,997
For you to bite down
on. This is gonna hurt.

140
00:06:17,235 --> 00:06:19,268
All right, let's party.

141
00:06:25,799 --> 00:06:29,012
Are you seriously pretending
to be okay right now?

142
00:06:29,523 --> 00:06:32,882
Why? So you can take that
trip down Lucifer's Heinie?

143
00:06:33,921 --> 00:06:35,521
I'm not pretending.

144
00:06:35,546 --> 00:06:37,295
I have never felt better.

145
00:06:37,320 --> 00:06:40,890
Which is why I will be
riding the Devil's Tailpipe.

146
00:06:40,970 --> 00:06:43,919
And your mocking names only
make me want to go more.

147
00:06:45,317 --> 00:06:47,814
Well, if you feel fine,
why don't you try out

148
00:06:47,866 --> 00:06:49,622
your birthday present from the kids?

149
00:06:49,647 --> 00:06:51,780
Huh?

150
00:06:56,239 --> 00:06:58,419
- That's a bowling ball.
- Yeah.

151
00:06:59,436 --> 00:07:01,019
Pick it up.

152
00:07:04,560 --> 00:07:07,333
I already have one. Don,
why don't you take it?

153
00:07:07,385 --> 00:07:08,718
Mm, I can't pick that up.

154
00:07:08,753 --> 00:07:10,253
I, uh, I sort of tweaked my neck

155
00:07:10,305 --> 00:07:12,922
when I was trying to fix your...

156
00:07:14,771 --> 00:07:16,271
...ack-bay.

157
00:07:17,518 --> 00:07:18,561
Nice work.

158
00:07:18,597 --> 00:07:20,930
She'll never crack that code.

159
00:07:22,742 --> 00:07:25,018
All right, you are
not going on that trip.

160
00:07:25,070 --> 00:07:26,352
Okay, you are a 50-year-old man

161
00:07:26,404 --> 00:07:28,354
who injured himself blowing out candles.

162
00:07:29,741 --> 00:07:33,430
Okay! I hurt my back. A little.

163
00:07:33,549 --> 00:07:36,073
But I'll be fine in a couple of days.

164
00:07:36,526 --> 00:07:40,116
Adam, I am the protector
of this family, okay?

165
00:07:40,168 --> 00:07:43,453
I told Kate, "No, you can't
zip-line over a volcano."

166
00:07:43,505 --> 00:07:46,172
And I told Teddy, "No,
you can't jump over Emme

167
00:07:46,207 --> 00:07:47,373
with your bicycle."

168
00:07:47,425 --> 00:07:50,209
And now, I am telling you, "No," okay?

169
00:07:50,262 --> 00:07:53,429
You cannot ride the "Make Me
Raise Our Kids Alone" Trail.

170
00:07:55,825 --> 00:07:57,300
What if I get a note from a doctor

171
00:07:57,352 --> 00:07:58,801
saying I am good to go?

172
00:07:58,803 --> 00:08:01,471
Well, yeah. Sure.

173
00:08:01,697 --> 00:08:03,473
Best of luck.

174
00:08:04,139 --> 00:08:07,439
Just hope that note's not
too heavy for you to pick up.

175
00:08:14,150 --> 00:08:15,877
Dad, that's stealing.

176
00:08:16,143 --> 00:08:17,987
This stuff is complimentary.

177
00:08:17,989 --> 00:08:20,861
Like the soaps and
coffeemakers in hotel rooms.

178
00:08:24,913 --> 00:08:26,746
Come in.

179
00:08:28,300 --> 00:08:33,015
Well... these back X-rays look
good for a man your age, Joe.

180
00:08:33,195 --> 00:08:35,004
Those are my X-rays.

181
00:08:35,618 --> 00:08:38,536
Oh. That's not good.

182
00:08:39,193 --> 00:08:41,277
You do any strenuous activities lately?

183
00:08:41,302 --> 00:08:43,730
Well, I'm in construction,
so there's a lot of hammering,

184
00:08:43,765 --> 00:08:45,982
climbing ladders,
lifting stuff, you know.

185
00:08:46,017 --> 00:08:48,234
What my boy is trying to
say is he hurt his back

186
00:08:48,269 --> 00:08:50,353
blowing out some birthday candles.

187
00:08:51,239 --> 00:08:52,973
Well, that's just part of getting older.

188
00:08:52,998 --> 00:08:54,331
Okay, here's the deal.

189
00:08:54,356 --> 00:08:56,025
I have a trip planned
to ride a dirt bike

190
00:08:56,027 --> 00:08:57,443
down a mountain in Colorado.

191
00:08:57,495 --> 00:09:00,496
It's been a lifelong dream. Can I do it?

192
00:09:00,521 --> 00:09:02,999
You know, my lifelong dream
was to be a jazz pianist.

193
00:09:03,034 --> 00:09:06,169
If I had done that, I could
play you a sad song right now

194
00:09:06,204 --> 00:09:08,871
about how you can't go on that trip.

195
00:09:08,923 --> 00:09:11,135
In my professional opinion,
you pulled something.

196
00:09:11,160 --> 00:09:12,439
Huh, did you get that from the X-ray,

197
00:09:12,463 --> 00:09:13,521
or from when I walked in and said,

198
00:09:13,545 --> 00:09:15,511
"I think I pulled something."

199
00:09:15,547 --> 00:09:17,430
Here's a list of stretches you can do

200
00:09:17,465 --> 00:09:19,415
to help the healing process.

201
00:09:25,102 --> 00:09:27,890
We, uh, had a bunch of
Popsicles on the way over.

202
00:09:30,502 --> 00:09:32,979
So, Lowell, what are you
gonna do with your bonus?

203
00:09:33,031 --> 00:09:35,198
I'm trying to decide
between a savings bond

204
00:09:35,233 --> 00:09:37,200
or a potbellied pig.

205
00:09:37,235 --> 00:09:38,868
Well, y-you got to go with the pig.

206
00:09:38,903 --> 00:09:40,631
If things get tough,
you can't make a sandwich

207
00:09:40,655 --> 00:09:41,988
out of a savings bond.

208
00:09:43,158 --> 00:09:45,375
Well, I am gonna hire a photographer

209
00:09:45,410 --> 00:09:47,543
to take a family picture
of us in matching outfits.

210
00:09:47,579 --> 00:09:51,260
And it's gonna look a
little something like this.

211
00:09:51,285 --> 00:09:52,868
Kids?

212
00:09:58,013 --> 00:10:00,546
This is the least happy I've ever been.

213
00:10:00,925 --> 00:10:02,675
Not cool, Mom.

214
00:10:02,761 --> 00:10:04,977
I look like I just escaped polygamy.

215
00:10:05,817 --> 00:10:08,938
No, you look like you
just escaped the cute farm.

216
00:10:10,435 --> 00:10:12,679
Oh, hey, Joe. How's Adam?

217
00:10:15,074 --> 00:10:18,326
That's some fancy
lingerie, little brother.

218
00:10:18,743 --> 00:10:20,456
Dad, are you okay?

219
00:10:20,481 --> 00:10:22,601
And if you are, help us.

220
00:10:23,114 --> 00:10:25,601
Uh, kids, why don't you go get changed.

221
00:10:25,999 --> 00:10:27,948
So? How was the doctor?

222
00:10:27,973 --> 00:10:30,581
The motorcycle trip's
off. He said I can't go.

223
00:10:30,606 --> 00:10:33,291
I've been diagnosed
with excessive oldness.

224
00:10:33,316 --> 00:10:34,182
Yeah.

225
00:10:34,207 --> 00:10:35,509
But on the way out, the nurse told me

226
00:10:35,533 --> 00:10:37,750
I'm an inch shorter than I
used to be, so I got that.

227
00:10:38,430 --> 00:10:39,440
Well, then I should double-check.

228
00:10:39,464 --> 00:10:41,633
You may not be tall
enough for the swan boat.

229
00:10:41,658 --> 00:10:44,243
We're not doing the swan boat, Lowell.

230
00:10:44,689 --> 00:10:46,936
- Honey, are-are you okay?
- I'm fine.

231
00:10:46,971 --> 00:10:48,693
What about me doesn't seem fine?

232
00:10:48,718 --> 00:10:50,773
Pretty much the whole package.

233
00:10:51,311 --> 00:10:52,642
Well, I guess you were right.

234
00:10:52,644 --> 00:10:55,111
It's time to act my age, so from now on,

235
00:10:55,146 --> 00:10:57,480
this couch is where I will be living.

236
00:10:57,532 --> 00:10:58,731
With my dad.

237
00:10:58,783 --> 00:10:59,866
Well, hold on, hold on.

238
00:10:59,901 --> 00:11:01,385
You're-you're not that age, either.

239
00:11:01,410 --> 00:11:02,985
I'm not 20 anymore.

240
00:11:02,987 --> 00:11:04,611
Yeah, but you're not 70.

241
00:11:04,636 --> 00:11:06,002
I am if you round up.

242
00:11:06,027 --> 00:11:06,873
Oh...

243
00:11:06,908 --> 00:11:09,276
I can't even put on my own socks.

244
00:11:12,664 --> 00:11:14,046
Oh, that's nice.

245
00:11:14,082 --> 00:11:16,195
Welcome to the promised land, boy.

246
00:11:18,970 --> 00:11:20,837
Yeah...

247
00:11:22,579 --> 00:11:24,445
Are you seeing what I'm seeing?

248
00:11:24,470 --> 00:11:27,343
Yeah. I'm married to Joe.

249
00:11:35,278 --> 00:11:37,228
New England is enjoying a warm spell,

250
00:11:37,252 --> 00:11:39,497
but a low pressure system is moving in.

251
00:11:39,522 --> 00:11:41,695
There's a twist I did not see coming.

252
00:11:41,720 --> 00:11:45,306
Hmm. Low pressure's a sneaky bastard.

253
00:11:46,439 --> 00:11:48,600
Okay, I think it's time
to get off the couch.

254
00:11:48,625 --> 00:11:50,332
Okay? It's been a week.

255
00:11:50,357 --> 00:11:53,130
Wha... I would remind
you, I have a back injury.

256
00:11:53,212 --> 00:11:54,829
I can't get up now; this weather lady's

257
00:11:54,831 --> 00:11:57,665
about to stick a ruler in the snow.

258
00:11:58,141 --> 00:12:00,384
Ah, Joe, there you are.

259
00:12:00,420 --> 00:12:02,837
Let's go. You promised we'd
take a walk in the park.

260
00:12:02,872 --> 00:12:04,505
Man, she's sneaky.

261
00:12:04,540 --> 00:12:06,640
Your mother's a damn
low pressure system.

262
00:12:08,404 --> 00:12:10,428
A walk is the least you can do

263
00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:12,626
since you won't exercise
with me at my gym.

264
00:12:12,651 --> 00:12:14,209
You just want to parade
me around that gym

265
00:12:14,233 --> 00:12:16,705
in front of your gal
pals like a show pony.

266
00:12:16,730 --> 00:12:18,486
Well, now I can parade you

267
00:12:18,521 --> 00:12:20,855
in front of my gal pals at the park.

268
00:12:21,464 --> 00:12:24,450
At this point, I just hope
a hawk flies off with me.

269
00:12:27,013 --> 00:12:29,580
Oh, what's this?

270
00:12:29,615 --> 00:12:34,691
Why, it's the stretching
exercises the doctor gave you.

271
00:12:34,716 --> 00:12:37,955
Exercise number one: get up.

272
00:12:38,575 --> 00:12:42,126
Hey, you need to
embrace my new lifestyle.

273
00:12:42,178 --> 00:12:43,677
Hey, you always wanted a cat.

274
00:12:43,713 --> 00:12:45,005
Think of me as a cat

275
00:12:45,030 --> 00:12:47,164
that can tell you the weather.

276
00:12:50,748 --> 00:12:53,379
- Hey, how about this?
- Hmm.

277
00:12:53,404 --> 00:12:57,066
Maybe we go upstairs and fool around.

278
00:12:57,091 --> 00:12:58,726
That's your favorite exercise.

279
00:12:58,728 --> 00:13:01,793
I don't think I'll be
doing much of that anymore.

280
00:13:01,818 --> 00:13:05,032
Everything is connected to
the back. Even the front.

281
00:13:06,189 --> 00:13:07,626
All right. That's it.

282
00:13:07,651 --> 00:13:10,871
Adam, I want you to go
on this motorcycle trip.

283
00:13:10,896 --> 00:13:11,906
What?

284
00:13:11,931 --> 00:13:14,164
If you do the stretches
that the doctor gave you

285
00:13:14,189 --> 00:13:16,864
and your back gets
better, I am fine with it.

286
00:13:16,889 --> 00:13:18,546
I thought you were worried I'd get hurt.

287
00:13:18,581 --> 00:13:20,903
Yeah, well, now I'm more
worried about your mind

288
00:13:20,928 --> 00:13:22,083
than I am your body.

289
00:13:22,108 --> 00:13:24,153
You just turned down daytime sex.

290
00:13:24,178 --> 00:13:25,911
I mean, usually, if I just stop moving,

291
00:13:25,936 --> 00:13:27,669
you take it as a go sign.

292
00:13:27,694 --> 00:13:29,006
Not true.

293
00:13:29,058 --> 00:13:31,505
I pretty much leave you
alone when you're sleeping.

294
00:13:31,530 --> 00:13:33,227
I want my husband back.

295
00:13:33,262 --> 00:13:35,229
You are Adam Burns. Okay?

296
00:13:35,264 --> 00:13:38,872
The man who, last Fourth of
July, forgot to put on sunscreen

297
00:13:38,897 --> 00:13:41,402
but still held his daughter
on his bright red shoulders

298
00:13:41,437 --> 00:13:43,320
so she could see the fireworks.

299
00:13:43,356 --> 00:13:44,772
Yeah. When she got down,

300
00:13:44,774 --> 00:13:46,718
it was like peeling
off two giant Band-Aids.

301
00:13:46,743 --> 00:13:47,909
Yeah, but you did it.

302
00:13:47,934 --> 00:13:49,076
You're damn right I did.

303
00:13:49,111 --> 00:13:50,823
You've never backed down before,

304
00:13:50,848 --> 00:13:54,965
and you are not gonna
back down now, so get up.

305
00:13:55,355 --> 00:13:56,806
I'm getting up!

306
00:13:56,858 --> 00:13:58,220
Get me up!

307
00:14:00,611 --> 00:14:02,290
And I'm gonna start
doing those exercises.

308
00:14:02,315 --> 00:14:03,841
Yeah, yeah, you're not old.

309
00:14:03,876 --> 00:14:05,876
You're just aged, like a good cheese.

310
00:14:05,928 --> 00:14:08,712
So get moving.

311
00:14:27,622 --> 00:14:30,379
_

312
00:14:52,079 --> 00:14:53,495
- Hey.
- Hey.

313
00:14:53,520 --> 00:14:54,886
Having a protein shake?

314
00:14:54,911 --> 00:14:56,194
Uh, chocolate shake.

315
00:14:57,179 --> 00:14:58,345
I've earned it.

316
00:14:58,347 --> 00:15:01,181
I put on my own socks today.

317
00:15:01,665 --> 00:15:03,234
I am so proud.

318
00:15:03,269 --> 00:15:04,604
Well, wait, it gets better.

319
00:15:04,629 --> 00:15:07,521
I also went to the doctor and
got a clean bill of health.

320
00:15:07,523 --> 00:15:10,291
Plus, a bill for some stuff Dad stole.

321
00:15:10,652 --> 00:15:12,861
I'm riding the Devil's Tailpipe, baby.

322
00:15:13,338 --> 00:15:15,595
I can't believe I'm this
excited about you doing something

323
00:15:15,619 --> 00:15:17,095
- so insane.
- Ah, but it won't be.

324
00:15:17,120 --> 00:15:18,677
No. Don and I rented a couple dirt bikes

325
00:15:18,701 --> 00:15:21,414
to train on so we'll be ready.

326
00:15:21,439 --> 00:15:23,565
If only you and Don had rented
a birthday cake to train on,

327
00:15:23,589 --> 00:15:25,539
none of this would've happened.

328
00:15:27,856 --> 00:15:30,690
Yo. Ready to ride?

329
00:15:32,815 --> 00:15:34,192
We're just going around the block.

330
00:15:34,216 --> 00:15:36,050
Why are you dressed like a Power Ranger?

331
00:15:38,120 --> 00:15:40,721
Why are you dressed
like Bob the Builder?

332
00:15:43,843 --> 00:15:45,501
Okay, truce.

333
00:15:45,861 --> 00:15:48,195
- Let's do this.
- Yeah.

334
00:15:48,230 --> 00:15:51,093
I'm back!

335
00:15:53,206 --> 00:15:54,739
My back!

336
00:15:56,192 --> 00:15:57,363
Are you okay?

337
00:15:57,388 --> 00:15:58,322
D-Did you crash?

338
00:15:58,374 --> 00:15:59,823
I turned my head to change lanes.

339
00:15:59,875 --> 00:16:00,791
And then you crashed?

340
00:16:00,826 --> 00:16:02,626
No, but I felt my back tighten up.

341
00:16:02,662 --> 00:16:04,662
- And then you crashed?
- No, there was no crash!

342
00:16:05,598 --> 00:16:08,299
I turned my head and threw my back out.

343
00:16:08,334 --> 00:16:10,520
It was the birthday cake all over again.

344
00:16:11,302 --> 00:16:13,268
All of a sudden, he slowed down.

345
00:16:13,293 --> 00:16:15,733
Kid on a tricycle blew by him,
then he just wobbled to a stop.

346
00:16:15,758 --> 00:16:17,091
It was hard to watch.

347
00:16:19,554 --> 00:16:22,563
I want to forget the bike trip
and never talk about it again.

348
00:16:22,598 --> 00:16:25,399
It's dead to me, like sauerkraut!

349
00:16:26,859 --> 00:16:29,568
- Adam, I'm so sorry.
- Well, what about me?

350
00:16:29,593 --> 00:16:31,405
I got to walk back to get his bike.

351
00:16:31,440 --> 00:16:34,586
When you're in a suit like this
with no motorcycle under you,

352
00:16:34,611 --> 00:16:36,411
people say hurtful things.

353
00:16:41,745 --> 00:16:43,270
Here's your muscle rub

354
00:16:43,295 --> 00:16:45,780
and some aspirin.

355
00:16:45,805 --> 00:16:47,965
Or as your dad calls it, brunch.

356
00:16:49,668 --> 00:16:51,979
Thanks. Maybe that'll
help get me moving.

357
00:16:53,811 --> 00:16:55,145
I'm sorry, I can't get up.

358
00:16:55,170 --> 00:16:57,067
No, no, no, it's okay. You rest.

359
00:16:57,092 --> 00:16:59,633
Okay? I-I'll refill your water, okay?

360
00:16:59,635 --> 00:17:01,802
Whoa! Got it.

361
00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:09,309
So... your back seems fine, Adam.

362
00:17:11,223 --> 00:17:13,981
That-that muscle rub is a miracle.

363
00:17:15,755 --> 00:17:17,816
It just had to be in
the same room with me.

364
00:17:17,841 --> 00:17:20,070
Ha. Heh. Huh.

365
00:17:20,619 --> 00:17:22,861
What's going on?

366
00:17:23,221 --> 00:17:24,563
Okay.

367
00:17:24,588 --> 00:17:26,354
I'm not hurt. I...

368
00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:29,619
I just got spooked.

369
00:17:29,682 --> 00:17:31,632
I haven't been on a
dirt bike in a long time,

370
00:17:31,667 --> 00:17:35,335
and they're really fast now;
it was like riding a rocket.

371
00:17:35,984 --> 00:17:39,515
And I started thinking, as I
accidentally jumped a ditch.

372
00:17:39,540 --> 00:17:42,593
I got kids at home. If
something happens to me,

373
00:17:42,645 --> 00:17:44,936
you'd have to raise them on your own.

374
00:17:44,961 --> 00:17:46,847
And you'd just dress them
up funny all the time.

375
00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:48,852
I know you would, and
I can't do that to them.

376
00:17:50,352 --> 00:17:53,195
So you faked being hurt
so you wouldn't have to go.

377
00:17:53,383 --> 00:17:56,186
If I can hurt my back
blowing out candles,

378
00:17:56,211 --> 00:17:58,942
what is gonna happen to
me on the Devil's Tailpipe?

379
00:17:59,290 --> 00:18:03,207
And if Don's the only one
there to help me, I'll die.

380
00:18:04,778 --> 00:18:06,561
Yeah, I mean, the only thing
you're gonna get from him

381
00:18:06,585 --> 00:18:08,585
is his best wishes.

382
00:18:09,763 --> 00:18:12,534
I... I hate to admit it, but...

383
00:18:12,737 --> 00:18:14,625
I really am getting older.

384
00:18:14,677 --> 00:18:16,627
No!

385
00:18:16,679 --> 00:18:18,791
You're the first one.

386
00:18:19,002 --> 00:18:20,631
All right, all right.

387
00:18:20,683 --> 00:18:23,133
Look, I'm just saying,
there comes a time

388
00:18:23,185 --> 00:18:27,387
when you have to give up
on some of your dreams.

389
00:18:27,584 --> 00:18:28,917
Well...

390
00:18:29,709 --> 00:18:31,350
Wait. You know,

391
00:18:31,375 --> 00:18:34,834
I did some research, and
there are other rides.

392
00:18:34,859 --> 00:18:36,980
You know, uh, maybe instead
of the Devil's Tailpipe,

393
00:18:37,032 --> 00:18:39,724
you could pick a less intense trail,

394
00:18:39,749 --> 00:18:42,810
like Marshmallow Flats.

395
00:18:44,380 --> 00:18:45,855
See, there are pictures,

396
00:18:45,880 --> 00:18:48,027
and the guys riding
Marshmallow Flats, they...

397
00:18:48,052 --> 00:18:50,083
they look a lot more like you.

398
00:18:52,897 --> 00:18:54,882
I could ride the heck
out of Marshmallow Flats.

399
00:18:54,907 --> 00:18:58,719
Wha... Yeah, this sounds really nice.

400
00:18:58,754 --> 00:19:00,554
There's a deli in the middle.

401
00:19:00,589 --> 00:19:03,590
Yeah. And-and a bed-and-
breakfast along the way.

402
00:19:04,861 --> 00:19:07,892
A soft bed would be nice
after a long day of riding.

403
00:19:07,917 --> 00:19:11,765
Yeah. See? It's all
about your perspective.

404
00:19:11,767 --> 00:19:14,401
A-And I haven't lost
my taste for danger.

405
00:19:14,436 --> 00:19:16,937
Okay? At that deli, I'm
getting sauerkraut on my Rueben.

406
00:19:16,939 --> 00:19:19,077
I'm doing it, Andi. I can handle it.

407
00:19:20,483 --> 00:19:22,232
Absolutely.

408
00:19:22,257 --> 00:19:25,078
- You'll pack Tums.
- I'll pack Tums.

409
00:19:25,114 --> 00:19:29,815
Because with age comes
wisdom, and with wisdom...

410
00:19:29,840 --> 00:19:32,035
Tums.

411
00:19:33,383 --> 00:19:34,762
Ooh.

412
00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:40,842
My eyes are closed.

413
00:19:40,867 --> 00:19:42,795
I was mid-sneeze.

414
00:19:42,820 --> 00:19:44,764
We look real cult-y, Mom.

415
00:19:45,920 --> 00:19:46,952
No, I look great.

416
00:19:46,977 --> 00:19:48,966
And it's my bonus so it's going up.

417
00:19:49,295 --> 00:19:51,357
You know, if one of
us ever breaks the law,

418
00:19:51,382 --> 00:19:54,084
this is gonna be the
picture they put on the news.

419
00:19:57,951 --> 00:20:00,115
- You're back. And alive.
- Mhm.

420
00:20:00,951 --> 00:20:03,973
Oh. How was Marshmallow Flats?

421
00:20:03,998 --> 00:20:06,565
- Soft and flat. I loved it.
- Aww.

422
00:20:06,590 --> 00:20:08,121
I don't wanna brag,

423
00:20:08,146 --> 00:20:11,122
but I got told to slow
down at least five times.

424
00:20:14,895 --> 00:20:16,708
Why is he still wearing his gear?

425
00:20:16,733 --> 00:20:18,453
I don't think he knows
how to get out of it.

426
00:20:21,381 --> 00:20:23,209
What happened to him? Did he crash?

427
00:20:23,234 --> 00:20:26,037
No, we just spent a lot
of time at that deli,

428
00:20:26,062 --> 00:20:28,242
and tough guy over there
wouldn't take the Tums.

429
00:20:28,267 --> 00:20:30,875
It burns, too much pastrami.

430
00:20:31,859 --> 00:20:34,664
Looks like he's gonna be riding
the Devil's Pipe after all.

431
00:20:34,766 --> 00:20:36,466
Synced and corrected by Octavia
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