1
00:00:02,203 --> 00:00:04,342
You know, these animal
valentines you got
2
00:00:04,367 --> 00:00:06,899
for the kids to take to
school, they're a little racy.
3
00:00:06,924 --> 00:00:08,398
Like, look at this cartoon bear.
4
00:00:08,425 --> 00:00:11,859
He's wearing nothing but a bow tie.
5
00:00:11,861 --> 00:00:14,028
Where's he going, a bachelorette party?
6
00:00:15,265 --> 00:00:17,598
I still don't understand
why every kid in the class
7
00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:18,900
has to get a valentine.
8
00:00:18,902 --> 00:00:20,935
When I was their age,
the only kids who got
9
00:00:20,937 --> 00:00:23,971
a full bag of valentines
were nice or foxy.
10
00:00:25,754 --> 00:00:27,553
Like me.
11
00:00:27,887 --> 00:00:29,911
You were foxy in the third grade?
12
00:00:29,913 --> 00:00:32,547
Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's the
year I grew into my head.
13
00:00:32,549 --> 00:00:34,382
- Ah.
- Yeah.
14
00:00:34,384 --> 00:00:37,885
Second grade, not so
foxy. I tipped over a lot.
15
00:00:37,887 --> 00:00:39,320
Yeah.
16
00:00:41,080 --> 00:00:43,524
So, my beautiful bride,
17
00:00:43,526 --> 00:00:46,094
would you like to have
"a whale of a time"
18
00:00:46,096 --> 00:00:48,363
this Valentine's Day?
19
00:00:48,365 --> 00:00:51,766
Actually, this year, I
don't want to do anything.
20
00:00:52,041 --> 00:00:54,141
(LAUGHS)
21
00:00:55,234 --> 00:00:57,638
I love that we can still
make each other laugh.
22
00:00:59,342 --> 00:01:00,875
No, I-I'm serious.
23
00:01:00,877 --> 00:01:03,711
I just, I just want to do nothing.
24
00:01:03,713 --> 00:01:05,513
Yeah, this feels like a trap.
25
00:01:06,255 --> 00:01:07,761
No, it's not.
26
00:01:07,786 --> 00:01:09,550
Look, we're always running around,
27
00:01:09,552 --> 00:01:12,120
and I haven't had time
to get you something.
28
00:01:12,122 --> 00:01:14,956
Plus, they gave me a
standing desk at work,
29
00:01:14,958 --> 00:01:17,759
so I have been on my
feet for three days.
30
00:01:18,347 --> 00:01:20,939
I will not be the first
person to sit down.
31
00:01:22,432 --> 00:01:24,799
So, uh, this doing nothing
for Valentine's Day,
32
00:01:24,801 --> 00:01:26,167
are you serious?
33
00:01:26,169 --> 00:01:28,069
Yes. Yes.
34
00:01:28,071 --> 00:01:31,272
No going out and no gifts.
35
00:01:37,843 --> 00:01:39,580
My perfect Valentine's Day
36
00:01:39,582 --> 00:01:43,184
would be a quiet night at
home with the people I love.
37
00:01:43,186 --> 00:01:45,520
And many glasses of wine.
38
00:01:47,724 --> 00:01:50,324
Okay. Well, I guess we'll just stay here
39
00:01:50,326 --> 00:01:53,227
and have dinner with
my folks and the kids.
40
00:01:53,229 --> 00:01:55,196
That sounds perfect.
41
00:02:01,059 --> 00:02:02,537
Really?
42
00:02:03,309 --> 00:02:05,573
How many glasses of wine
have you had tonight?
43
00:02:05,575 --> 00:02:06,713
(LAUGHS): Okay.
44
00:02:06,738 --> 00:02:08,432
Look, bottom line is,
45
00:02:08,457 --> 00:02:10,545
we've celebrated for 17 years.
46
00:02:10,547 --> 00:02:13,347
I'm just... I'm over this holiday.
47
00:02:15,018 --> 00:02:18,019
You know, every day I
love you more and more,
48
00:02:18,021 --> 00:02:20,621
because as time goes by...
49
00:02:20,623 --> 00:02:23,057
you make me show it less and less.
50
00:02:23,059 --> 00:02:24,358
Aw.
51
00:02:27,964 --> 00:02:30,298
So Andi doesn't want
anything for Valentine's Day?
52
00:02:30,300 --> 00:02:34,035
All she wants is to drink
wine, so just her normal night.
53
00:02:34,624 --> 00:02:36,548
That sounds like a trap.
54
00:02:36,573 --> 00:02:39,040
That's what I said; but she denied it,
55
00:02:39,042 --> 00:02:42,210
and then we made out for
a while, so it's real.
56
00:02:42,235 --> 00:02:44,212
Oh, you've finally reached
that sweet spot in marriage
57
00:02:44,214 --> 00:02:45,747
where you could phone it in.
58
00:02:45,749 --> 00:02:47,582
Welcome to the bigs, kid, huh?
59
00:02:47,584 --> 00:02:50,218
And now I just got to
figure out a gift for Mom.
60
00:02:50,220 --> 00:02:52,453
(CHUCKLES) Good luck
with that, little brother.
61
00:02:52,455 --> 00:02:54,122
I out-gift him every year.
62
00:02:54,124 --> 00:02:55,823
But it's cute that he still tries.
63
00:02:56,665 --> 00:02:58,159
Don't take it personally.
64
00:02:58,161 --> 00:03:00,199
I'm the oldest; I made her a mother.
65
00:03:00,224 --> 00:03:01,790
What did you bring to the table?
66
00:03:02,688 --> 00:03:04,022
Well, unlike you,
67
00:03:04,047 --> 00:03:06,801
I didn't make her deliver a
baby that was three feet tall.
68
00:03:07,716 --> 00:03:09,837
The struggle only made her love me more.
69
00:03:10,387 --> 00:03:14,242
They put him in the nursery;
people thought he worked there.
70
00:03:14,244 --> 00:03:16,577
Oh, I know what I'll do.
71
00:03:16,579 --> 00:03:19,814
I'll just slide the gift I
bought for Andi over to Mom.
72
00:03:19,816 --> 00:03:23,251
Yeah. A 14-karat-gold necklace
with pictures of the kids on it.
73
00:03:23,253 --> 00:03:25,883
Oh, her grandchildren
will rest on her heart.
74
00:03:25,908 --> 00:03:26,954
Is there a way to bet on this?
75
00:03:26,956 --> 00:03:29,060
I'd like to put my money on Adam.
76
00:03:29,085 --> 00:03:30,857
What you boys don't understand is,
77
00:03:30,882 --> 00:03:33,161
it's not the gift, it's the giver.
78
00:03:34,097 --> 00:03:35,296
We'll see.
79
00:03:35,298 --> 00:03:36,864
I think I got a good shot.
80
00:03:36,866 --> 00:03:39,400
This could be the year
that Mom says to you:
81
00:03:39,402 --> 00:03:41,620
"Mm, it's the thought that counts."
82
00:03:43,406 --> 00:03:45,640
Thanks for letting me
borrow your slow cooker.
83
00:03:45,642 --> 00:03:47,198
Yeah, well, we had to hide this
84
00:03:47,223 --> 00:03:49,844
after Teddy used it
to boil Emme's Barbies.
85
00:03:50,231 --> 00:03:52,298
Yeah. It was very disturbing.
86
00:03:52,323 --> 00:03:55,439
- The heads are the last thing to melt.
- Ugh.
87
00:03:55,464 --> 00:03:56,584
And they float.
88
00:03:56,586 --> 00:03:58,152
Ugh.
89
00:03:58,154 --> 00:03:59,587
Ooh.
90
00:03:59,862 --> 00:04:01,155
What's this?
91
00:04:01,157 --> 00:04:02,390
Mm.
92
00:04:02,392 --> 00:04:04,058
"To Andi, Happy Valentine's Day,
93
00:04:04,060 --> 00:04:06,060
love, Adam"? (GASPS)
94
00:04:07,330 --> 00:04:08,563
Open it.
95
00:04:09,799 --> 00:04:12,400
- Oh, I don't think I should.
- Seriously?
96
00:04:12,402 --> 00:04:13,534
No, I'm definitely going to.
97
00:04:13,536 --> 00:04:15,036
I just felt like I should say that.
98
00:04:15,038 --> 00:04:16,871
(LAUGHS)
99
00:04:16,873 --> 00:04:18,439
(GASPS)
100
00:04:18,441 --> 00:04:21,642
- Ooh, shiny!
- Oh!
101
00:04:21,644 --> 00:04:24,312
Oh, look, and it's got
pictures of the kids on it.
102
00:04:24,314 --> 00:04:26,914
That is so sweet. But
I thought you told him
103
00:04:26,916 --> 00:04:28,494
you didn't want anything
for Valentine's Day.
104
00:04:28,519 --> 00:04:30,685
I did, but he didn't listen.
105
00:04:30,687 --> 00:04:32,945
That usually makes me so mad.
106
00:04:32,970 --> 00:04:34,228
(BOTH LAUGH)
107
00:04:34,253 --> 00:04:36,805
Oh, it's beautiful.
108
00:04:36,830 --> 00:04:37,992
Oh.
109
00:04:37,994 --> 00:04:41,662
I have the most thoughtful
husband in the whole world.
110
00:04:41,664 --> 00:04:45,733
I have the most thoughtful
son in the whole world.
111
00:04:58,637 --> 00:05:00,907
I saw this necklace and I thought,
112
00:05:00,909 --> 00:05:04,410
"There is no one who deserves
this more than my mother."
113
00:05:07,231 --> 00:05:09,567
Now, I don't want to
put words in your mouth,
114
00:05:09,592 --> 00:05:12,558
but it's kind of the
best gift ever, huh?
115
00:05:12,583 --> 00:05:13,219
(GIGGLES)
116
00:05:13,221 --> 00:05:15,288
Oh, I-I don't like to think of it
117
00:05:15,290 --> 00:05:18,658
as a competition
between you boys, but...
118
00:05:18,660 --> 00:05:21,194
this is gonna be hard to beat.
119
00:05:21,841 --> 00:05:23,863
I'm glad you like the new guy's gift.
120
00:05:23,865 --> 00:05:27,066
Now, let's see what
your firstborn got you.
121
00:05:27,068 --> 00:05:29,769
Go get 'em, Donny.
122
00:05:29,771 --> 00:05:31,504
I think you're gonna love it so much
123
00:05:31,506 --> 00:05:33,573
that next year I'm gonna
have to give you a necklace
124
00:05:33,575 --> 00:05:34,941
with a picture of
125
00:05:34,966 --> 00:05:37,052
this on it.
126
00:05:39,756 --> 00:05:40,913
Huh.
127
00:05:41,435 --> 00:05:42,648
It's a damn cactus!
128
00:05:42,650 --> 00:05:43,916
Uh-huh.
129
00:05:43,918 --> 00:05:45,518
Are you throwing the game?
130
00:05:45,953 --> 00:05:48,287
I know what this is.
131
00:05:48,289 --> 00:05:51,023
This is the beginning of a
scavenger hunt to the real gift.
132
00:05:51,025 --> 00:05:53,225
Where's the clue? Underneath?
133
00:05:53,250 --> 00:05:55,461
No, Ma, you're always
saying how you love
134
00:05:55,463 --> 00:05:57,563
going to Arizona and
seeing all the cactuses.
135
00:05:57,565 --> 00:05:59,665
She likes to swim, too; does that mean
136
00:05:59,667 --> 00:06:02,268
you're gonna throw a
bucket of water on her?
137
00:06:02,880 --> 00:06:04,237
Maybe you're mixed up.
138
00:06:04,262 --> 00:06:07,229
Okay. This is from me.
139
00:06:07,864 --> 00:06:09,342
Your firstborn.
140
00:06:09,344 --> 00:06:11,210
I made you a mommy.
141
00:06:11,521 --> 00:06:14,180
Well, it's the thought that counts.
142
00:06:14,286 --> 00:06:16,482
There it is.
143
00:06:17,060 --> 00:06:19,619
Joe, why don't you take
that outside for me?
144
00:06:19,621 --> 00:06:22,788
Oh, yes, this cactus will love the snow.
145
00:06:24,107 --> 00:06:26,767
I'm gonna go see how
my new necklace looks.
146
00:06:26,803 --> 00:06:29,228
If this is what my son got me,
147
00:06:29,417 --> 00:06:32,248
I can't wait to see
what my husband gets me.
148
00:06:34,936 --> 00:06:37,237
What are you doing to me?
149
00:06:38,010 --> 00:06:38,905
What?
150
00:06:38,907 --> 00:06:40,706
You told me you were
getting her chocolates,
151
00:06:40,708 --> 00:06:42,241
so I got her flowers.
152
00:06:42,243 --> 00:06:44,477
Now the flowers are just
gonna sit in the trash
153
00:06:44,479 --> 00:06:46,545
with this-this blowfish in a pot.
154
00:06:46,547 --> 00:06:48,681
I didn't mean to ruin your day.
155
00:06:48,683 --> 00:06:50,149
I was just trying to ruin his.
156
00:06:50,151 --> 00:06:51,951
It's not ruined.
157
00:06:51,953 --> 00:06:54,020
Valentine's Day isn't over yet.
158
00:06:54,334 --> 00:06:57,401
The firstborn will rise again.
159
00:06:58,526 --> 00:07:00,860
Come on, Donny, let's
head to the Hallmark store
160
00:07:00,862 --> 00:07:03,316
and see if we can pull
out of this nosedive.
161
00:07:05,833 --> 00:07:08,401
Happy Valentine's Day!
162
00:07:08,403 --> 00:07:10,236
Yay.
163
00:07:14,406 --> 00:07:15,805
A book?
164
00:07:17,481 --> 00:07:19,274
Are you mad at us?
165
00:07:20,869 --> 00:07:22,702
- Ah, we're just kidding.
- Ah!
166
00:07:24,009 --> 00:07:25,676
Happy Valentine's Day.
167
00:07:25,701 --> 00:07:27,299
Oh, did you see their faces?
168
00:07:27,324 --> 00:07:28,800
They thought they were
gonna have to read.
169
00:07:28,825 --> 00:07:30,923
I know. Oh, wait. Hold
on, hold on, hold on.
170
00:07:30,925 --> 00:07:33,628
Valentine's Day isn't over yet.
171
00:07:34,106 --> 00:07:36,152
It's time for Daddy's gift.
172
00:07:36,481 --> 00:07:38,222
Daddy's gift?
173
00:07:39,536 --> 00:07:41,133
I thought Daddy didn't get a gift.
174
00:07:41,135 --> 00:07:44,437
That's what Mommy said
and Daddy believed her.
175
00:07:48,843 --> 00:07:50,743
(SIGHS)
176
00:07:54,815 --> 00:07:55,915
Open it.
177
00:07:56,385 --> 00:07:58,451
(LAUGHS) I don't want to.
178
00:07:59,889 --> 00:08:01,540
No, go ahead.
179
00:08:03,958 --> 00:08:07,660
Uh, o-okay, b-but before I do,
180
00:08:07,662 --> 00:08:11,664
just to be clear, as
previously agreed upon,
181
00:08:11,666 --> 00:08:15,376
I... I didn't get you anything.
182
00:08:15,703 --> 00:08:17,790
Okay, sure.
183
00:08:20,341 --> 00:08:23,476
(SIGHS) Okay.
184
00:08:24,217 --> 00:08:25,811
I'm going in.
185
00:08:30,251 --> 00:08:33,419
(GASPS, LAUGHS)
186
00:08:38,550 --> 00:08:40,890
It's a table hockey game!
187
00:08:40,915 --> 00:08:42,215
Where's the screen?
188
00:08:45,066 --> 00:08:47,600
Does if have Wi-Fi or...?
189
00:08:48,806 --> 00:08:51,637
It's just like the one
I had when I was a kid.
190
00:08:51,639 --> 00:08:52,938
I love it!
191
00:08:52,940 --> 00:08:54,073
Ah, good.
192
00:08:54,075 --> 00:08:56,409
I just had to show you
how much you mean to me.
193
00:08:56,411 --> 00:08:59,845
Oh. (SIGHS)
194
00:09:14,490 --> 00:09:18,341
(LAUGHS): Okay. That's it.
195
00:09:18,366 --> 00:09:22,001
That was a great Valentine's Day, yeah.
196
00:09:22,003 --> 00:09:24,303
But everything is over now, so...
197
00:09:24,305 --> 00:09:25,805
Ah.
198
00:09:25,807 --> 00:09:27,606
(LAUGHS): Okay.
199
00:09:27,608 --> 00:09:29,809
Well, I guess I'll
just go to the kitchen,
200
00:09:29,811 --> 00:09:32,244
'cause everything's over now.
201
00:09:33,659 --> 00:09:35,496
Okay.
202
00:09:36,459 --> 00:09:38,325
Here I go.
203
00:09:38,986 --> 00:09:42,582
Okay. Buh-bye.
204
00:09:44,152 --> 00:09:47,993
Okay, five bucks for anyone who
can tell me what just happened.
205
00:09:49,134 --> 00:09:50,796
He didn't give you the necklace?
206
00:09:50,798 --> 00:09:53,132
No. It doesn't make any sense.
207
00:09:53,134 --> 00:09:54,967
Unless he's got a girlfriend
who's also named Andi
208
00:09:54,969 --> 00:09:57,603
with three kids that look
a hell of a lot like ours.
209
00:09:57,939 --> 00:10:00,005
Oh, maybe the way he's
gonna give it to you
210
00:10:00,007 --> 00:10:01,640
is part of the surprise.
211
00:10:01,642 --> 00:10:03,175
Yeah, that's it, that's it.
212
00:10:03,177 --> 00:10:04,877
He-he invited his parents over tonight.
213
00:10:04,879 --> 00:10:06,212
I bet they're gonna babysit
214
00:10:06,214 --> 00:10:08,047
while we go out for a romantic dinner
215
00:10:08,049 --> 00:10:11,317
and then, instead of
dessert, it's the necklace.
216
00:10:11,319 --> 00:10:13,219
Yeah. If he hides it
in dessert, be careful.
217
00:10:13,221 --> 00:10:15,554
I still have a tennis
bracelet somewhere inside me.
218
00:10:19,568 --> 00:10:22,235
Whoa, break. (STAMMERS, GROANS)
219
00:10:26,871 --> 00:10:28,604
(GROANS)
220
00:10:30,438 --> 00:10:31,837
Wh-What are you guys doing here?
221
00:10:31,839 --> 00:10:33,772
I thought you were coming
for dinner. It's only 3:00.
222
00:10:33,774 --> 00:10:37,309
We came early to give people
time to admire my necklace.
223
00:10:38,346 --> 00:10:39,432
Where is everyone?
224
00:10:39,457 --> 00:10:41,432
Uh, uh, Andi's out running errands,
225
00:10:41,457 --> 00:10:43,979
but she'll be back later,
you know, at dinnertime.
226
00:10:44,004 --> 00:10:47,253
Aw. She left you without snacks?
227
00:10:47,255 --> 00:10:48,587
Don't worry,
228
00:10:48,589 --> 00:10:50,756
Mama's here now. Mm.
229
00:10:50,758 --> 00:10:52,767
I'll fix grilled cheeses.
230
00:10:53,807 --> 00:10:56,228
Maybe next year, you can
buy her a golden spatula
231
00:10:56,230 --> 00:10:59,365
so she can make a grilled
cheese for her golden boy.
232
00:11:00,721 --> 00:11:02,516
Hey, listen, speaking of gifts,
233
00:11:02,541 --> 00:11:04,603
Andi said she didn't want a
gift, so I didn't get her one.
234
00:11:04,605 --> 00:11:07,039
But then she got me
one. Should I be worried?
235
00:11:07,111 --> 00:11:10,479
You should be changing your
name and moving to Canada.
236
00:11:12,547 --> 00:11:15,481
- I knew it was a trap!
- Yeah.
237
00:11:15,483 --> 00:11:18,717
I fell for that "I don't need
a gift" trick back in '69,
238
00:11:18,719 --> 00:11:21,320
and I spent the next
month living on my boat.
239
00:11:21,322 --> 00:11:24,323
(SIGHS) Man, Andi's gonna...
240
00:11:25,404 --> 00:11:27,126
Wait, we had a boat?
241
00:11:28,138 --> 00:11:30,668
We didn't have a boat;
I had a boat.
242
00:11:30,693 --> 00:11:33,672
O-Okay, okay, I got to run out
and find something for Andi.
243
00:11:33,697 --> 00:11:34,800
Hey, how was the Hallmark store?
244
00:11:34,802 --> 00:11:36,602
- Oh, picked clean.
- (SIGHS)
245
00:11:36,604 --> 00:11:38,270
I haven't seen men fall apart like that
246
00:11:38,272 --> 00:11:40,539
since the first day of basic training.
247
00:11:42,445 --> 00:11:44,443
- Hey!
- Hi, everybody!
248
00:11:44,445 --> 00:11:46,521
Why do people keep showing up early?
249
00:11:47,443 --> 00:11:49,246
I wanted to give Mom my new present,
250
00:11:49,271 --> 00:11:50,271
a pair of earrings.
251
00:11:50,296 --> 00:11:52,651
Earrings? I'm gonna have
to buy her mink underpants
252
00:11:52,653 --> 00:11:54,320
to keep up with you two.
253
00:11:56,190 --> 00:11:58,478
Two earrings beats one necklace.
254
00:11:58,503 --> 00:12:00,069
That's math.
255
00:12:00,638 --> 00:12:02,497
Fine, fine. I don't have time for this.
256
00:12:02,522 --> 00:12:03,988
I got to hit the mall.
257
00:12:04,013 --> 00:12:07,800
Apparently, to Andi, "no
gift" means "yes gift."
258
00:12:07,802 --> 00:12:10,035
Why can't you just give
her the gold necklace?
259
00:12:10,037 --> 00:12:11,837
What?
260
00:12:11,839 --> 00:12:13,672
What-what did you say?
261
00:12:13,674 --> 00:12:15,040
The-the necklace.
262
00:12:15,042 --> 00:12:17,509
The gold necklace in the slow cooker.
263
00:12:23,913 --> 00:12:25,451
How do you know about that?
264
00:12:25,453 --> 00:12:27,653
Um, I was with Andi when she found it.
265
00:12:27,655 --> 00:12:29,855
She found it? Andi
knows about the necklace?
266
00:12:30,658 --> 00:12:31,890
Too bad I sold the boat.
267
00:12:31,892 --> 00:12:34,193
Seems like you could really use it now.
268
00:12:37,848 --> 00:12:40,543
- We had some good times on that boat, Pop.
- Yeah.
269
00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:49,758
Are you telling me Andi thinks
270
00:12:49,760 --> 00:12:51,226
I'm gonna surprise her with the necklace
271
00:12:51,228 --> 00:12:53,562
at a romantic dinner? She said no gifts.
272
00:12:53,564 --> 00:12:55,397
Why didn't you just
give her the necklace?
273
00:12:55,399 --> 00:12:57,032
She said no gifts.
274
00:12:58,969 --> 00:13:02,122
Keep saying that and we'll be
carving it on your tombstone.
275
00:13:02,864 --> 00:13:04,558
She's gonna be home any minute.
276
00:13:04,583 --> 00:13:06,007
If she sees that necklace on my mom,
277
00:13:06,009 --> 00:13:07,876
she's gonna strangle me with it.
278
00:13:09,546 --> 00:13:11,246
You know, on the upside, my cactus
279
00:13:11,248 --> 00:13:12,981
isn't looking so shabby anymore.
280
00:13:14,184 --> 00:13:16,184
Great news, babe: I
got you some earrings.
281
00:13:16,186 --> 00:13:17,619
Aw!
282
00:13:18,084 --> 00:13:19,221
Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
283
00:13:19,223 --> 00:13:20,722
I might still be able to save this.
284
00:13:20,724 --> 00:13:22,724
I just got to get the
necklace away from Mom,
285
00:13:22,726 --> 00:13:25,260
give it to Andi, and then
just buy another one for Mom.
286
00:13:25,262 --> 00:13:27,238
How you gonna do that
without Bev knowing?
287
00:13:27,643 --> 00:13:29,816
I don't know. I mean, just look at her.
288
00:13:33,270 --> 00:13:36,238
I'm gonna need the Jaws of
Life to pry it out of her hands.
289
00:13:37,776 --> 00:13:38,908
Just tell her the truth.
290
00:13:38,933 --> 00:13:40,642
You bought it for Andi and
she has to give it back.
291
00:13:40,644 --> 00:13:42,677
Yeah, do that. It's too late for you.
292
00:13:42,679 --> 00:13:44,246
Save me!
293
00:13:47,188 --> 00:13:49,005
Oh, hi, Don!
294
00:13:49,030 --> 00:13:50,062
Marcy.
295
00:13:50,087 --> 00:13:52,821
Um, okay, who's hungry?
296
00:13:52,823 --> 00:13:55,257
- Oh, forgot napkins.
- Uh, wait, Ma...
297
00:13:55,259 --> 00:13:58,147
No, no, no. Don't start
until I get my grilled cheese.
298
00:13:58,172 --> 00:14:01,073
When she gets mad, she
throws food in the trash.
299
00:14:02,366 --> 00:14:04,399
Here we go.
300
00:14:04,945 --> 00:14:06,668
Uh, s-so, Ma,
301
00:14:06,670 --> 00:14:09,153
hey, you know what I was thinking?
302
00:14:09,178 --> 00:14:11,114
I should have your necklace engraved.
303
00:14:11,139 --> 00:14:12,407
You know, make it more personal.
304
00:14:12,409 --> 00:14:14,676
Yeah. Give it to me now.
305
00:14:14,678 --> 00:14:16,747
It's already personal;
306
00:14:16,772 --> 00:14:18,680
it's got pictures of my grandkids on it.
307
00:14:18,682 --> 00:14:20,582
Oh...
308
00:14:20,584 --> 00:14:22,017
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
309
00:14:22,019 --> 00:14:24,352
The truth is...
310
00:14:25,364 --> 00:14:27,989
I bought it from a
gypsy; it's fake gold.
311
00:14:28,716 --> 00:14:29,519
BEV: What?
312
00:14:29,544 --> 00:14:30,892
And I don't want that fake gold
313
00:14:30,894 --> 00:14:33,228
giving you a nasty rash, so cough it up.
314
00:14:33,230 --> 00:14:34,930
Mm. No!
315
00:14:34,932 --> 00:14:37,065
If people ask, I'll just tell 'em
316
00:14:37,067 --> 00:14:40,302
I got the nasty rash from my loving son.
317
00:14:46,510 --> 00:14:48,109
You might want to mention
318
00:14:48,111 --> 00:14:50,378
the necklace in there somewhere, too.
319
00:14:52,416 --> 00:14:53,415
Andi!
320
00:14:53,417 --> 00:14:55,295
Hi, honey. Oh.
321
00:14:55,320 --> 00:14:57,178
Your parents are already here, huh?
322
00:14:57,203 --> 00:14:58,092
(CHUCKLES): Yeah.
323
00:14:58,117 --> 00:15:00,288
So, we going out or something?
324
00:15:00,290 --> 00:15:02,657
Should I go upstairs and change?
325
00:15:02,659 --> 00:15:04,459
Yeah, yeah. Maybe go change, yeah.
326
00:15:04,461 --> 00:15:06,461
And-and take your time.
And if you get tired,
327
00:15:06,463 --> 00:15:09,564
just go to bed. I'll
see you in the morning.
328
00:15:10,133 --> 00:15:12,267
Andi, come look at my present.
329
00:15:12,269 --> 00:15:13,368
No, no, no, no!
330
00:15:13,370 --> 00:15:15,770
- Uh, no, no, no! Okay.
- Whoa!
331
00:15:15,772 --> 00:15:17,706
- Yeah. You look...
- Wait, Adam, what are you doing?!
332
00:15:17,708 --> 00:15:19,964
Well, you look... you look so cold.
333
00:15:19,989 --> 00:15:22,244
Okay, there you go!
334
00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:24,179
Hey, Andi, you know, you
know what I was thinking?
335
00:15:24,181 --> 00:15:25,747
Since it's Valentine's Day,
336
00:15:25,749 --> 00:15:28,617
we should only look at each other. Huh?
337
00:15:31,299 --> 00:15:33,888
Adam, honey, you don't have
to play this game, all right?
338
00:15:33,890 --> 00:15:35,223
I know something's coming.
339
00:15:35,225 --> 00:15:36,758
Something's coming, all right.
340
00:15:37,894 --> 00:15:40,623
Aw! Is Adam gonna
surprise you, too, Andi?
341
00:15:40,648 --> 00:15:41,826
Look at me, look at me, look at me.
342
00:15:41,851 --> 00:15:42,931
Remember, I gave you three
343
00:15:42,933 --> 00:15:44,703
beautiful children.
344
00:15:50,289 --> 00:15:53,652
Um, Bev, a-are you
wearing a-a gold necklace
345
00:15:53,677 --> 00:15:54,933
with pictures of the kids on it?
346
00:15:54,958 --> 00:15:57,479
It was a gift from your sweet husband.
347
00:15:57,481 --> 00:15:59,364
Isn't that thoughtful?
348
00:16:03,487 --> 00:16:05,987
I have some thoughts.
349
00:16:08,492 --> 00:16:10,959
Can I tell you my
thoughts in the kitchen?
350
00:16:13,477 --> 00:16:15,244
You stay right here.
351
00:16:17,934 --> 00:16:19,834
What a nice way to
spend Valentine's Day:
352
00:16:19,836 --> 00:16:21,169
dinner and a show.
353
00:16:24,593 --> 00:16:26,791
Why is your mother wearing the necklace
354
00:16:26,816 --> 00:16:29,817
I secretly know you bought for me?
355
00:16:31,345 --> 00:16:32,953
Okay, yeah, I bought it for you,
356
00:16:32,978 --> 00:16:34,867
but then you said you
didn't want a gift.
357
00:16:34,892 --> 00:16:37,419
So I figured it'd be okay
to give it to my mom instead.
358
00:16:37,421 --> 00:16:38,753
- What?!
- (YELPS)
359
00:16:40,454 --> 00:16:43,325
My necklace wasn't
bought specially for me?
360
00:16:43,327 --> 00:16:44,993
It was!
361
00:16:45,386 --> 00:16:47,252
In a sense.
362
00:16:47,618 --> 00:16:48,363
Yeah.
363
00:16:48,365 --> 00:16:52,447
In-in the sense that
I bought it for her.
364
00:16:52,796 --> 00:16:56,642
B-But the sign in the shop
said "perfect for any woman."
365
00:16:57,808 --> 00:16:59,174
So I'm just any woman?
366
00:16:59,176 --> 00:17:01,209
No! No... (SIGHS)
367
00:17:01,211 --> 00:17:04,079
If I'm not looking at you,
I'm not talking to you.
368
00:17:04,081 --> 00:17:06,014
Okay?
369
00:17:07,720 --> 00:17:10,018
Come on, Andi, you know
how my mom is about gifts.
370
00:17:10,020 --> 00:17:11,419
How am I about gifts?
371
00:17:11,421 --> 00:17:13,188
You're great at gifts.
372
00:17:13,190 --> 00:17:15,557
Yeah, you're the most
appreciative woman I know.
373
00:17:15,559 --> 00:17:17,325
So I'm not appreciative?
374
00:17:17,327 --> 00:17:18,293
Can I talk to you alone?!
375
00:17:18,295 --> 00:17:19,710
- No!
- No! - Oh!
376
00:17:19,735 --> 00:17:22,530
Okay. (STAMMERS) Don't
be so hard on the boy.
377
00:17:22,532 --> 00:17:24,796
Bev, you are gonna be so cheered up
378
00:17:24,821 --> 00:17:26,301
when you see the flowers I got you.
379
00:17:26,303 --> 00:17:28,764
With a beautiful blank card
380
00:17:28,789 --> 00:17:31,578
where you can write
anything your heart desires.
381
00:17:36,794 --> 00:17:40,771
If this wasn't bought
for me, I don't want it.
382
00:17:41,406 --> 00:17:43,339
(SIGHS)
383
00:17:50,260 --> 00:17:53,495
- Don't do it.
- No, no, no, no, no, no.
384
00:17:55,757 --> 00:17:57,821
- Happy Valentine's Day?
- Oh!
385
00:17:57,846 --> 00:17:59,912
- Good grief.
- He did it.
386
00:18:00,194 --> 00:18:02,103
You know what?
387
00:18:02,957 --> 00:18:04,005
I'll take it.
388
00:18:04,007 --> 00:18:06,574
- Whoa! - Curveball.
- I did not see that coming.
389
00:18:08,030 --> 00:18:09,963
You will? Really?
390
00:18:09,988 --> 00:18:13,863
Really. I mean, I did say no gifts.
391
00:18:13,957 --> 00:18:15,597
But you bought this for me.
392
00:18:15,622 --> 00:18:19,421
And it's incredibly
thoughtful, and I love it.
393
00:18:20,424 --> 00:18:24,092
Wow. Where did he find her?
394
00:18:25,112 --> 00:18:26,089
It's beautiful.
395
00:18:26,114 --> 00:18:27,714
- Aw.
- Mm.
396
00:18:27,963 --> 00:18:30,055
I don't want to ruin it
for you, honey, but...
397
00:18:30,080 --> 00:18:32,467
it's fake gold.
398
00:18:32,770 --> 00:18:34,203
No, no.
399
00:18:34,228 --> 00:18:36,470
I just said that when you had it.
400
00:18:38,017 --> 00:18:39,355
It's real.
401
00:18:39,709 --> 00:18:42,110
That's interesting.
402
00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:05,466
I pocketed one when
things started to go south.
403
00:19:12,142 --> 00:19:14,375
- (GASPS DRAMATICALLY)
- (GASPS)
404
00:19:15,038 --> 00:19:16,960
What's this?
405
00:19:16,985 --> 00:19:19,390
Well, I wanted you to get
a full bag of valentines,
406
00:19:19,415 --> 00:19:23,117
because you deserve to know
that you're nice and foxy.
407
00:19:23,119 --> 00:19:25,653
Aw, that's so sweet.
408
00:19:25,655 --> 00:19:27,755
And I just want to
thank you for being...
409
00:19:27,757 --> 00:19:29,891
"turtle-y awesome"
410
00:19:29,893 --> 00:19:32,494
and "otter-ly adorable."
411
00:19:32,496 --> 00:19:34,696
- Aw. (GIGGLES)
- (CHUCKLES)
412
00:19:37,167 --> 00:19:40,368
"Roses are red, I want you in my bed."
413
00:19:41,041 --> 00:19:42,770
There's a few originals in there.
414
00:19:43,435 --> 00:19:45,669
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
415
00:19:46,799 --> 00:19:47,985
"Violets are blue,
416
00:19:48,010 --> 00:19:50,245
or not on the bed... It's up to you."
417
00:19:51,291 --> 00:19:53,548
So what I'm saying there
is I'm up for anything.
418
00:19:53,550 --> 00:19:56,026
(CHUCKLES) Okay.
419
00:19:56,051 --> 00:19:59,569
"Love is the highest power,
let's do it in the shower."
420
00:19:59,594 --> 00:20:00,688
Adam.
421
00:20:00,690 --> 00:20:03,224
The lower you go, the dirtier they get.
422
00:20:03,226 --> 00:20:06,961
(CHUCKLES): Yeah.
423
00:20:12,837 --> 00:20:15,939
Well, this is just to say I'm sorry.
424
00:20:15,941 --> 00:20:18,041
Oh, Adam.
425
00:20:18,043 --> 00:20:20,971
This is so overwhelming.
426
00:20:21,011 --> 00:20:22,978
- Oh!
- (CHUCKLES)
427
00:20:22,980 --> 00:20:24,646
This must have cost you a fortune.
428
00:20:24,648 --> 00:20:27,716
Ah, you can't put a price on that smile.
429
00:20:27,718 --> 00:20:29,870
And yet somehow you did.
430
00:20:31,495 --> 00:20:33,121
I like the balloons, too.
431
00:20:33,123 --> 00:20:35,290
They look really good with my cactus.
432
00:20:35,292 --> 00:20:36,691
Oh, shoot. Darn it. Ooh.
433
00:20:36,693 --> 00:20:38,937
Oh! There goes another one.
434
00:20:38,962 --> 00:20:41,930
Oh! How clumsy of me! Oh!
435
00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:47,333
I told you the firstborn
would rise again.
436
00:20:48,786 --> 00:20:53,786
Synced and corrected by Octavia
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