1
00:00:02,584 --> 00:00:04,085
Bev, you got any fours?

2
00:00:04,132 --> 00:00:05,775
Give you my fours,
you give me your twos.

3
00:00:05,777 --> 00:00:07,210
All right.

4
00:00:07,212 --> 00:00:09,613
That is not how you play gin.

5
00:00:10,542 --> 00:00:12,542
- Gin!
- Gin!

6
00:00:15,378 --> 00:00:17,284
Well, I can't say I'm sad it's over.

7
00:00:17,292 --> 00:00:19,210
Hey, uh, listen, before you guys go,

8
00:00:19,260 --> 00:00:20,914
I need you to clear your Saturday.

9
00:00:20,939 --> 00:00:22,838
Well, we were all set to mail a letter,

10
00:00:22,863 --> 00:00:25,331
but I guess we can wait till Monday.

11
00:00:26,375 --> 00:00:29,167
Good, 'cause this Saturday
is Andi's birthday,

12
00:00:29,182 --> 00:00:31,013
and we're all going out
to dinner to celebrate.

13
00:00:31,015 --> 00:00:32,815
You planned ahead this year?

14
00:00:33,751 --> 00:00:35,669
Usually first time I
hear about Andi's birthday

15
00:00:35,670 --> 00:00:38,001
is when you're apologizing
to her for forgetting it.

16
00:00:38,042 --> 00:00:39,001
(CHUCKLES)

17
00:00:39,375 --> 00:00:40,789
Okay, I admit that in the past

18
00:00:40,791 --> 00:00:43,425
I have occasionally lost track of time,

19
00:00:43,427 --> 00:00:46,428
and her birthday snuck up on
me. I've made some mistakes.

20
00:00:48,953 --> 00:00:50,799
This is my yoga mat.

21
00:00:50,801 --> 00:00:54,236
Yeah, you lost it, and I found it.

22
00:00:54,238 --> 00:00:55,871
Happy birthday.

23
00:01:00,109 --> 00:01:01,108
Hey...

24
00:01:01,133 --> 00:01:02,778
there she is.

25
00:01:02,780 --> 00:01:05,547
Happy birthday.

26
00:01:06,493 --> 00:01:07,858
(CLEARS THROAT)

27
00:01:07,883 --> 00:01:11,420
"This coupon is good for
one free massage from Adam.

28
00:01:11,578 --> 00:01:13,511
Back or front, your choice."

29
00:01:13,810 --> 00:01:16,291
Fair warning, if we start on your front,

30
00:01:16,293 --> 00:01:18,293
things will escalate quickly,

31
00:01:18,295 --> 00:01:21,129
and then you can cash in this coupon.

32
00:01:26,605 --> 00:01:28,070
Did you see the cartoon people?

33
00:01:28,083 --> 00:01:29,458
It's not to scale, but that could be us.

34
00:01:29,459 --> 00:01:30,906
Yeah.

35
00:01:34,709 --> 00:01:36,460
- ♪ Happy... ♪
- It was yesterday.

36
00:01:36,480 --> 00:01:38,614
Damn it!

37
00:01:38,616 --> 00:01:41,550
But I'm telling you, things
will be different this year

38
00:01:41,552 --> 00:01:43,919
because Andi told me they had to be.

39
00:01:45,667 --> 00:01:48,626
Are they gone yet... Hey!

40
00:01:49,793 --> 00:01:50,829
Hi.

41
00:01:50,854 --> 00:01:53,295
Ah, I'm so glad I didn't miss you guys.

42
00:01:54,334 --> 00:01:56,705
So are you excited
about your birthday plan?

43
00:01:56,706 --> 00:01:59,468
Ma! I haven't told her
yet. I want to tell her.

44
00:01:59,470 --> 00:02:00,993
Oh, fine, fine. Go ahead.

45
00:02:01,739 --> 00:02:03,639
It's a dinner!

46
00:02:06,911 --> 00:02:09,979
Y-You already planned my birthday?

47
00:02:10,425 --> 00:02:12,848
You mean I'm not getting
my own yoga mat again?

48
00:02:14,277 --> 00:02:16,894
I lost it for you on
purpose, just in case.

49
00:02:17,459 --> 00:02:18,459
Well, find it.

50
00:02:18,460 --> 00:02:20,989
I already made a reservation
at your favorite restaurant,

51
00:02:20,991 --> 00:02:21,990
I scheduled the kids

52
00:02:21,992 --> 00:02:23,375
for sleepovers that night,

53
00:02:23,417 --> 00:02:25,178
and... this is the best part...

54
00:02:25,209 --> 00:02:28,085
the dinner is on your actual birthday.

55
00:02:28,098 --> 00:02:29,498
(GASPS)

56
00:02:31,969 --> 00:02:33,335
That's right.

57
00:02:35,083 --> 00:02:37,292
I'm pretty handsome now, aren't I?

58
00:02:38,292 --> 00:02:41,043
- Yeah, you are.
- (CHUCKLES)

59
00:02:41,083 --> 00:02:43,417
We've never gotten to celebrate
on the real day before.

60
00:02:43,459 --> 00:02:45,372
- Yeah.
- This is so exciting.

61
00:02:45,397 --> 00:02:46,841
We're going to dinner Sunday!

62
00:02:46,842 --> 00:02:49,460
Yeah... Ah-ah, nice try. It's Saturday.

63
00:02:49,501 --> 00:02:51,168
You're right. You did it.

64
00:02:51,169 --> 00:02:52,681
Yes, I did.

65
00:02:53,243 --> 00:02:55,267
So do you want me to
handle all the logistics?

66
00:02:55,292 --> 00:02:57,159
Yes, say yes.

67
00:02:58,762 --> 00:03:01,263
What logistics? It's
dinner with my parents,

68
00:03:01,292 --> 00:03:03,542
Don and Marcy, and Lowell and his wife.

69
00:03:03,580 --> 00:03:04,452
It's easy.

70
00:03:04,477 --> 00:03:07,945
She's throwing you a
lifeline. Grab it, son.

71
00:03:09,921 --> 00:03:11,546
So everybody's coming?

72
00:03:11,571 --> 00:03:13,809
Well, I haven't sent
out the e-mail yet.

73
00:03:13,811 --> 00:03:15,154
BOTH: Oh, no.

74
00:03:16,190 --> 00:03:17,546
I'm sure it'll be fine.

75
00:03:17,548 --> 00:03:19,715
These two already said they're coming.

76
00:03:19,717 --> 00:03:21,081
Well, we do have some requirements.

77
00:03:21,106 --> 00:03:24,453
Your father needs to be near
a bathroom, but not facing it.

78
00:03:24,455 --> 00:03:26,088
He-he wants the convenience,

79
00:03:26,090 --> 00:03:28,790
but he doesn't like the eye
contact when they come out.

80
00:03:29,852 --> 00:03:32,352
And, uh, your mother
can't eat on a carpet.

81
00:03:32,377 --> 00:03:35,831
She's susceptible to static electricity.

82
00:03:35,833 --> 00:03:39,601
I've seen a doorknob make
her fly right across the room.

83
00:03:41,105 --> 00:03:43,405
See? It's not easy.

84
00:03:44,077 --> 00:03:45,240
I should take over.

85
00:03:45,242 --> 00:03:47,124
Honey, it's handled, okay?

86
00:03:47,125 --> 00:03:49,667
- I got the private, no carpet.
- Oh.

87
00:03:49,709 --> 00:03:52,233
And the bathroom is
just around the corner.

88
00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:56,301
You think I don't know
how weird they are?

89
00:03:57,321 --> 00:03:59,621
We're weird, but we're not deaf.

90
00:04:00,918 --> 00:04:05,144
So you really think
you can pull this off?

91
00:04:05,459 --> 00:04:07,793
Because now you're getting my hopes up.

92
00:04:07,798 --> 00:04:11,566
And if they come crashing
down, they're gonna land on you.

93
00:04:12,903 --> 00:04:15,303
Look, all I have to do is
send out the invitations.

94
00:04:15,304 --> 00:04:19,251
One e-mail and... done.

95
00:04:19,276 --> 00:04:20,742
(CELL PHONES VIBRATING)

96
00:04:20,744 --> 00:04:22,778
Something's happening to me.

97
00:04:25,039 --> 00:04:26,915
That's the e-mail, Joe.

98
00:04:26,917 --> 00:04:29,618
I told you not to put your
new phone in your pocket.

99
00:04:29,626 --> 00:04:32,876
Oh. Send another one, will you?

100
00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:47,763
Jen and I are super excited to
be invited to Andi's birthday.

101
00:04:47,792 --> 00:04:50,117
We took you to dinner a
year ago, and since then,

102
00:04:50,118 --> 00:04:52,707
we've been waiting for you
to call and return the favor.

103
00:04:52,709 --> 00:04:56,460
- Until today, dinner buddy.
- Hey.

104
00:04:56,479 --> 00:04:59,046
Hey, about Andi's birthday...
Marcy says we can't make it.

105
00:04:59,048 --> 00:05:01,849
She made plans with people
from her pottery class, so...

106
00:05:02,106 --> 00:05:05,370
Pottery class? Those
people are strangers.

107
00:05:05,395 --> 00:05:07,241
I take you to urgent care once a week

108
00:05:07,250 --> 00:05:09,001
to get a nail out of your hand.

109
00:05:09,305 --> 00:05:10,191
Cancel it.

110
00:05:10,193 --> 00:05:12,109
I can't change Marcy's plans.

111
00:05:12,134 --> 00:05:13,661
I got one boss, and it ain't you.

112
00:05:14,259 --> 00:05:15,867
You guys have to come.

113
00:05:15,892 --> 00:05:18,165
This is about my
reputation as a husband.

114
00:05:18,167 --> 00:05:20,134
Well, when you put it that way,

115
00:05:20,433 --> 00:05:22,767
we still can't come,
but now I don't feel bad.

116
00:05:24,173 --> 00:05:26,173
Oh, here comes that
mean building inspector.

117
00:05:26,175 --> 00:05:27,608
She always looks like she's trying

118
00:05:27,626 --> 00:05:30,835
- to scare the hiccups out of someone.
- Joy's okay.

119
00:05:30,844 --> 00:05:32,913
We had her and Rudy over
for dinner the other night.

120
00:05:32,938 --> 00:05:34,482
You just met her! No, no.

121
00:05:34,484 --> 00:05:36,484
I got what I wanted. I'll allow it.

122
00:05:36,486 --> 00:05:37,781
(SIGHS)

123
00:05:37,806 --> 00:05:40,321
Hey, how'd the electrical check out?

124
00:05:40,334 --> 00:05:42,791
- We all good out there, neighbor?
- Listen,

125
00:05:42,792 --> 00:05:44,692
just because I'm friends
with your wife doesn't mean

126
00:05:44,694 --> 00:05:46,494
I'm gonna let things slide around here.

127
00:05:46,501 --> 00:05:49,543
- If anything, I'm gonna be tougher on you.
- Oh.

128
00:05:49,544 --> 00:05:52,700
So it pains me to say... you pass.

129
00:05:53,417 --> 00:05:56,792
Hey, uh, Joy, how would
you and Rudy like to come

130
00:05:56,834 --> 00:05:59,084
to Andi's birthday dinner on Saturday?

131
00:05:59,139 --> 00:06:02,194
Oh, we'd love to. Just one tiny thing...

132
00:06:02,219 --> 00:06:04,975
I made Rudy a vegan,
but he doesn't know it.

133
00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:06,614
So make sure there's
something on that menu

134
00:06:06,616 --> 00:06:08,500
that looks like meat, but isn't.

135
00:06:12,127 --> 00:06:13,274
Poor guy,

136
00:06:13,299 --> 00:06:14,755
married to her, and now she's gonna

137
00:06:14,757 --> 00:06:16,223
make him live forever. (LAUGHS)

138
00:06:17,680 --> 00:06:19,680
What was that? What was what?

139
00:06:19,837 --> 00:06:21,503
Well, Marcy and I figured
since we couldn't go,

140
00:06:21,528 --> 00:06:22,871
you would move the dinner.

141
00:06:22,896 --> 00:06:23,998
I can't move the dinner.

142
00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:25,700
It's on Andi's birthday.

143
00:06:25,709 --> 00:06:27,903
- So you replaced us?
- Yeah.

144
00:06:27,904 --> 00:06:29,403
How can you be so far behind?

145
00:06:29,405 --> 00:06:31,058
It happened right in front of you.

146
00:06:33,449 --> 00:06:34,236
ADAM: <i>So,</i>

147
00:06:34,261 --> 00:06:37,445
it's tofu, but you'll
paint it brown like meat?

148
00:06:39,387 --> 00:06:41,682
Well, it sounds disgusting. Okay.

149
00:06:41,707 --> 00:06:43,528
I'll see you Saturday night.

150
00:06:44,371 --> 00:06:47,018
Was that about my birthday dinner?

151
00:06:47,043 --> 00:06:48,889
My hopes are flying high.

152
00:06:48,891 --> 00:06:50,302
(LAUGHING): Yeah.

153
00:06:50,334 --> 00:06:51,918
Are there gonna be any surprises?

154
00:06:51,919 --> 00:06:53,361
Mostly for Rudy.

155
00:06:55,420 --> 00:06:57,598
Oh, good. Rudy and Joy are coming, too?

156
00:06:57,623 --> 00:07:01,268
"Too," "also," "instead of"...
All those fun birthday words.

157
00:07:02,576 --> 00:07:03,612
What?

158
00:07:04,377 --> 00:07:05,891
Don and Marcy can't make it.

159
00:07:05,916 --> 00:07:07,241
Aw, really?

160
00:07:07,243 --> 00:07:08,709
Well, that's not a bad thing.

161
00:07:08,711 --> 00:07:11,112
I mean, Joy and Rudy will
have some new stories.

162
00:07:11,114 --> 00:07:14,181
We've already heard
all of Don's, you know?

163
00:07:14,183 --> 00:07:17,385
He thought that raccoon
was a cat. Remember? Huh?

164
00:07:17,387 --> 00:07:19,553
He didn't know pickles were cucumbers.

165
00:07:19,962 --> 00:07:23,758
He forgot the raccoon<i> wasn't</i>
a cat, and tried to pet it again.

166
00:07:24,868 --> 00:07:26,760
It's just, you know...
and you wouldn't know this

167
00:07:26,785 --> 00:07:28,718
'cause you've never
planned one of these...

168
00:07:28,743 --> 00:07:30,765
But, um, there's a rule
that everybody agrees on

169
00:07:30,767 --> 00:07:33,701
that if one couple can't make
it, that we change the night.

170
00:07:34,491 --> 00:07:36,203
(LAUGHING): Honey,

171
00:07:36,205 --> 00:07:37,905
that's not everybody's rule.

172
00:07:37,907 --> 00:07:40,443
That's just<i> your</i>
rule because you're nice.

173
00:07:40,468 --> 00:07:42,977
But lucky for you, I'm not.

174
00:07:44,395 --> 00:07:45,534
Okay?

175
00:07:45,559 --> 00:07:48,883
So we are having dinner
on your actual birthday.

176
00:07:49,082 --> 00:07:50,581
Yeah, I-I got to be honest.

177
00:07:50,606 --> 00:07:54,121
My hopes are losing a
little altitude, okay?

178
00:07:54,301 --> 00:07:55,790
Are you sure you can pull this off?

179
00:07:55,792 --> 00:07:57,324
Yes. Yes.

180
00:07:57,326 --> 00:08:00,761
So just, look... Sit back and relax.

181
00:08:00,763 --> 00:08:04,765
You are in for a smooth flight.

182
00:08:07,345 --> 00:08:09,125
Uh-huh.

183
00:08:11,042 --> 00:08:14,010
I'm just gonna call Marcy
and figure everything out.

184
00:08:14,421 --> 00:08:16,277
Look, if you pick up that phone,

185
00:08:16,279 --> 00:08:18,279
you're saying you don't believe in me.

186
00:08:18,281 --> 00:08:20,952
(SPUTTERS) I believe in you.

187
00:08:22,632 --> 00:08:24,942
Then why are you still
walking towards the phone?

188
00:08:27,434 --> 00:08:29,168
Am I?

189
00:08:29,864 --> 00:08:32,593
Andi, I'm telling you, this
dinner is coming together.

190
00:08:32,595 --> 00:08:34,628
Yes, there was a little speed bump,

191
00:08:34,630 --> 00:08:36,630
but everyone's cool with it.

192
00:08:36,632 --> 00:08:38,799
He frickin' replaced us?

193
00:08:38,801 --> 00:08:42,947
No. No, we are not
replaceable. We are family.

194
00:08:43,022 --> 00:08:45,456
Technically, I'm family.
You're just the wife.

195
00:08:46,548 --> 00:08:47,644
Sharesies?

196
00:08:48,709 --> 00:08:50,084
We are going to that dinner.

197
00:08:50,098 --> 00:08:51,965
You tell your brother we are in.

198
00:08:51,990 --> 00:08:54,144
(SIGHS) You just made
me tell him we were out.

199
00:08:54,169 --> 00:08:55,516
It was a power move.

200
00:08:55,518 --> 00:08:56,917
We lost. Let's move on.

201
00:08:57,373 --> 00:08:59,637
(SIGHS) Okay, okay.

202
00:08:59,662 --> 00:09:00,988
Just one question.

203
00:09:00,990 --> 00:09:03,190
How long will menopause last?

204
00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:08,083
- Hey, guys.
- Oh, Don, so,

205
00:09:08,129 --> 00:09:10,460
I called the restaurant to
get you and Marcy back in.

206
00:09:10,501 --> 00:09:12,901
I did like you said. I told
the guy it was for Don Burns.

207
00:09:12,926 --> 00:09:15,903
He got all excited and said,
"Don Burns?<i> The</i> Don Burns?"

208
00:09:15,918 --> 00:09:18,127
- Really?
- No. They didn't care.

209
00:09:19,315 --> 00:09:21,415
They can only fit eight
in the private room.

210
00:09:21,416 --> 00:09:23,577
Look, you got to help me
out. Marcy's all over me.

211
00:09:23,579 --> 00:09:26,104
I tried to hide from her,
but my house is too small.

212
00:09:26,129 --> 00:09:29,064
Look, Don, there's nothing I can do.

213
00:09:29,083 --> 00:09:31,042
Last night I had to
pretend to work under my car

214
00:09:31,043 --> 00:09:33,354
until she went to sleep.

215
00:09:33,375 --> 00:09:34,737
Come on, little brother.

216
00:09:34,738 --> 00:09:37,291
Okay, fine. Forget
it. Dinner's cancelled.

217
00:09:37,293 --> 00:09:39,059
No!

218
00:09:39,918 --> 00:09:41,836
I thought we'd just follow the dumb rule

219
00:09:41,859 --> 00:09:43,458
and do it on a night
when everyone can go.

220
00:09:43,501 --> 00:09:44,910
- There, you happy?
- Thank you.

221
00:09:44,911 --> 00:09:46,463
All right, I'm off to the lumberyard.

222
00:09:46,464 --> 00:09:48,459
- Okay, good luck at the dog track.
- Thanks.

223
00:09:50,506 --> 00:09:52,540
No. Don't do this.

224
00:09:52,542 --> 00:09:54,375
Rescheduling means it's
never going to happen,

225
00:09:54,377 --> 00:09:57,008
and I already took the
tags off my new outfit.

226
00:09:59,641 --> 00:10:00,952
Don't worry.

227
00:10:00,977 --> 00:10:02,046
I'm not rescheduling.

228
00:10:02,047 --> 00:10:04,084
I just said that to get Don off my back.

229
00:10:04,127 --> 00:10:05,593
Saturday is still on.

230
00:10:05,632 --> 00:10:08,967
Yes! Wow. What a roller coaster.

231
00:10:11,379 --> 00:10:12,420
(CLEARS THROAT)

232
00:10:12,918 --> 00:10:14,836
You really think you can pull this off?

233
00:10:14,837 --> 00:10:16,663
Why do people keep asking me that?

234
00:10:16,664 --> 00:10:19,124
Hey, look, all we have
to do is not let Andi know

235
00:10:19,125 --> 00:10:20,959
that Don and Marcy think it's cancelled.

236
00:10:20,962 --> 00:10:23,463
And it goes without saying
that Don and Marcy can't know

237
00:10:23,465 --> 00:10:25,064
that it's<i> not</i> cancelled.

238
00:10:25,066 --> 00:10:26,542
Or that it is cancelled.

239
00:10:26,567 --> 00:10:28,567
No. That it's not cancelled.

240
00:10:29,147 --> 00:10:31,047
Yeah. It's easy, man.

241
00:10:32,274 --> 00:10:35,241
But what if Joy tells Marcy?

242
00:10:35,949 --> 00:10:38,177
Ooh. Oh, but that's not
gonna be a problem...

243
00:10:38,179 --> 00:10:40,781
They don't even know each
other. See? I planned that,

244
00:10:40,806 --> 00:10:42,907
and I didn't even know
it... That's how good I am.

245
00:10:44,102 --> 00:10:45,184
DON: <i>I don't understand</i>

246
00:10:45,186 --> 00:10:47,420
why you could sample a
grape but not an apple.

247
00:10:47,422 --> 00:10:49,021
Because it's not a buffet.

248
00:10:49,237 --> 00:10:50,437
JOY: Don.

249
00:10:50,462 --> 00:10:51,691
DON: Hi, Joy.

250
00:10:51,693 --> 00:10:54,045
Is this tall fellow
bothering you, ma'am?

251
00:10:54,070 --> 00:10:56,304
For 23 years.

252
00:10:56,731 --> 00:10:58,275
Joy, this is my wife, Marcy.

253
00:10:58,300 --> 00:11:00,801
Hi, Marcy. This is my husband, Rudy.

254
00:11:00,834 --> 00:11:02,069
- (CHUCKLES): Hey.
- Hey.

255
00:11:02,070 --> 00:11:03,310
I'm looking forward
to eating some steaks

256
00:11:03,335 --> 00:11:04,804
with you at Andi's birthday dinner.

257
00:11:04,806 --> 00:11:05,964
I hope they're good.

258
00:11:05,989 --> 00:11:08,174
The last few I've had
have been real mushy.

259
00:11:09,105 --> 00:11:10,143
MARCY: Oh, no,

260
00:11:10,145 --> 00:11:11,110
didn't you hear?

261
00:11:11,112 --> 00:11:12,097
No, Don and I were busy,

262
00:11:12,122 --> 00:11:13,613
so they decided to reschedule.

263
00:11:13,615 --> 00:11:14,780
No, it's still on.

264
00:11:14,782 --> 00:11:15,948
What?

265
00:11:15,950 --> 00:11:17,483
Yeah, Adam sent out

266
00:11:17,485 --> 00:11:19,952
an e-mail today confirming it. See?

267
00:11:20,352 --> 00:11:21,585
Do you see this?

268
00:11:21,610 --> 00:11:23,499
He is still having that dinner.

269
00:11:23,524 --> 00:11:25,424
He took us off the e-mail
so we wouldn't know.

270
00:11:25,426 --> 00:11:27,126
We were only on the first e-mail.

271
00:11:27,128 --> 00:11:29,695
The<i> first</i> e-mail?
This is the only one we got.

272
00:11:29,697 --> 00:11:31,197
No, that is the second e-mail.

273
00:11:31,199 --> 00:11:33,065
Rudy, do you know what this means?

274
00:11:33,067 --> 00:11:35,908
When they couldn't
go, Adam subbed us in.

275
00:11:35,933 --> 00:11:37,332
We're just seat fillers.

276
00:11:37,375 --> 00:11:38,834
- Hmm.
- Rudy!

277
00:11:38,837 --> 00:11:41,004
This is an outrage!

278
00:11:52,334 --> 00:11:54,043
What?

279
00:11:55,490 --> 00:11:58,090
I have to ask... how's it
going with my birthday dinner?

280
00:11:58,092 --> 00:12:00,693
Perfect. Just like you.

281
00:12:02,472 --> 00:12:04,630
And all the organizing?

282
00:12:04,632 --> 00:12:06,599
Easy. Just like you.

283
00:12:06,601 --> 00:12:07,767
Ha.

284
00:12:07,769 --> 00:12:09,802
(BOTH CHUCKLE)

285
00:12:09,804 --> 00:12:11,337
It's funny, 'cause it's true.

286
00:12:11,339 --> 00:12:13,139
Yeah. Yeah.

287
00:12:13,813 --> 00:12:15,144
I'm about to get a lot easier,

288
00:12:15,169 --> 00:12:16,701
'cause I'm going for more wine.

289
00:12:17,669 --> 00:12:18,968
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)

290
00:12:18,993 --> 00:12:20,580
Well, fill it to the brim,

291
00:12:20,582 --> 00:12:24,850
because this birthday is
nothing but smooth sailing.

292
00:12:29,318 --> 00:12:30,456
Who was that?

293
00:12:30,458 --> 00:12:32,131
Wrong number.

294
00:12:38,501 --> 00:12:40,419
- Seriously, who was that?
- Nobody.

295
00:12:40,443 --> 00:12:41,576
I heard knocking.

296
00:12:41,876 --> 00:12:43,293
Oh, that was two old crows

297
00:12:43,334 --> 00:12:44,960
that flew into the door.

298
00:12:51,315 --> 00:12:52,479
What are you doing?

299
00:12:52,481 --> 00:12:55,216
Nothing. I just want to be close to you.

300
00:12:56,792 --> 00:12:58,001
How about a kiss?

301
00:12:58,300 --> 00:12:59,399
Hmm?

302
00:12:59,424 --> 00:13:01,391
(LAUGHS): Aw. That's sweet.

303
00:13:04,744 --> 00:13:06,244
Huh.

304
00:13:06,543 --> 00:13:09,063
I was sure you were
hiding something from me.

305
00:13:09,065 --> 00:13:11,665
Me? I'd never hide anything from you.

306
00:13:17,571 --> 00:13:18,904
Hey, guys.

307
00:13:18,918 --> 00:13:21,502
Oh, look... the crows are back.

308
00:13:22,613 --> 00:13:23,646
MARCY: Now, I'm sorry

309
00:13:23,671 --> 00:13:25,328
that you have to see this,

310
00:13:25,353 --> 00:13:27,573
but there are some things
that need to be said

311
00:13:27,584 --> 00:13:31,335
to your bonehead husband
about your birthday dinner.

312
00:13:32,509 --> 00:13:33,625
Why are you two here together?

313
00:13:33,650 --> 00:13:35,070
You don't even know each other.

314
00:13:35,072 --> 00:13:37,819
We're friends now. Helps
to have a common enemy.

315
00:13:38,811 --> 00:13:40,022
He insulted me.

316
00:13:40,083 --> 00:13:41,333
Yeah. And he lied to me.

317
00:13:41,337 --> 00:13:43,237
You said you were
rescheduling the dinner,

318
00:13:43,239 --> 00:13:44,238
and you didn't.

319
00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:45,339
What?!

320
00:13:45,341 --> 00:13:47,507
She chose pottery class
over your birthday.

321
00:13:47,509 --> 00:13:49,810
You were supposed to change the date.

322
00:13:49,812 --> 00:13:51,059
That's the rule.

323
00:13:51,084 --> 00:13:52,646
That's Andi's rule, because she's nice.

324
00:13:52,648 --> 00:13:54,581
So that rule doesn't
apply to<i> you.</i>

325
00:13:56,852 --> 00:13:59,409
He subbed me and Rudy
in as seat fillers.

326
00:13:59,434 --> 00:14:01,588
Nobody puts Joy on the B-team.

327
00:14:01,590 --> 00:14:03,724
I'm not a "B." I'm an "A."

328
00:14:03,726 --> 00:14:07,527
An "A"! As in I will
kick you in the "A"!

329
00:14:10,137 --> 00:14:12,065
You said you had this handled.

330
00:14:12,067 --> 00:14:14,500
You said it was all<i>
easy,</i> like<i> me.</i>

331
00:14:14,501 --> 00:14:15,793
(GASPS) He said that to you?

332
00:14:15,794 --> 00:14:17,376
Yeah, and she thought it was funny.

333
00:14:17,406 --> 00:14:18,572
Stay out of my marriage.

334
00:14:19,369 --> 00:14:20,836
I am out of your marriage.

335
00:14:20,861 --> 00:14:22,274
And I'm out of this dinner, too.

336
00:14:22,299 --> 00:14:25,045
Okay, well, I'll get over it.

337
00:14:25,083 --> 00:14:27,458
- Congratulations, Marcy, you're back in.
- Oh, no, no.

338
00:14:27,486 --> 00:14:28,649
I'm not coming to your dinner, either.

339
00:14:28,667 --> 00:14:30,917
- What?!
- So neither of you are coming?

340
00:14:30,920 --> 00:14:33,020
We'll do something fun
another time with you.

341
00:14:33,042 --> 00:14:35,960
And we'll have a great time...
because he won't be there.

342
00:14:40,250 --> 00:14:41,542
(SIGHS HEAVILY)

343
00:14:43,021 --> 00:14:44,498
(SCOFFS) Those two, huh?

344
00:14:44,500 --> 00:14:45,999
(FORCED CHUCKLE)

345
00:14:47,703 --> 00:14:49,269
Yeah. They're not the problem.

346
00:14:49,271 --> 00:14:50,604
You're right.

347
00:14:50,606 --> 00:14:52,272
We need to remember
to lock that back door.

348
00:14:52,274 --> 00:14:54,074
(GROANS)

349
00:14:54,860 --> 00:14:56,015
RUDY: <i>I can't believe your wife</i>

350
00:14:56,040 --> 00:14:57,811
was so mad she left you here.

351
00:14:57,813 --> 00:14:59,280
Yours did, too.

352
00:14:59,305 --> 00:15:01,481
Well, I can believe
<i>my</i> wife did it.

353
00:15:01,741 --> 00:15:04,409
I've just never seen it
happen to someone else.

354
00:15:05,467 --> 00:15:06,920
Thanks for coming to pick us up.

355
00:15:06,922 --> 00:15:09,289
Yeah. I needed to get out of the house.

356
00:15:09,291 --> 00:15:11,591
Andi was so mad she stopped blinking.

357
00:15:12,529 --> 00:15:14,168
She was just staring,

358
00:15:14,193 --> 00:15:16,568
like a painting of an angry wife.

359
00:15:17,350 --> 00:15:19,689
Listen, I need people
at her birthday dinner.

360
00:15:19,714 --> 00:15:21,806
You got to help me out with your wives.

361
00:15:21,831 --> 00:15:23,009
(SCOFFS) Yeah, you just picked us up

362
00:15:23,034 --> 00:15:24,071
from a grocery store

363
00:15:24,083 --> 00:15:26,584
- where our wives left us.
- Yeah.

364
00:15:26,612 --> 00:15:28,241
Did they say if they
were coming back, or...?

365
00:15:28,243 --> 00:15:29,743
Did they even mention us?

366
00:15:30,510 --> 00:15:31,977
Will you two pay attention?

367
00:15:32,002 --> 00:15:33,780
Okay? I got to do something about this.

368
00:15:33,782 --> 00:15:35,082
You got to do more
than<i> something.</i>

369
00:15:35,083 --> 00:15:36,333
This is like when your team is way down

370
00:15:36,375 --> 00:15:38,959
- at the bottom of the ninth.
- Yeah. You can't just hit a double.

371
00:15:38,960 --> 00:15:41,221
BOTH: You need a grand slam.

372
00:15:43,904 --> 00:15:45,309
Boy, I have never felt more

373
00:15:45,334 --> 00:15:46,709
like a third wheel.

374
00:15:47,459 --> 00:15:49,293
But you're right, what
I need is a big idea

375
00:15:49,294 --> 00:15:51,793
that's gonna blow her mind.

376
00:15:51,995 --> 00:15:54,417
It'll come to me.

377
00:16:00,834 --> 00:16:02,917
I needed a big idea.

378
00:16:03,428 --> 00:16:05,760
I-It didn't come to me.

379
00:16:06,682 --> 00:16:08,882
You look beautiful way down there.

380
00:16:09,863 --> 00:16:12,494
So, now<i> nobody's</i> coming?

381
00:16:12,519 --> 00:16:14,187
No.

382
00:16:14,511 --> 00:16:18,108
Don and Marcy got to my parents,
so they canceled in protest,

383
00:16:18,133 --> 00:16:19,796
and... Lowell and Jen said

384
00:16:19,821 --> 00:16:21,328
they didn't want their
first dinner with us

385
00:16:21,330 --> 00:16:23,230
to be on what he called a...

386
00:16:23,938 --> 00:16:25,565
"ruined night."

387
00:16:26,469 --> 00:16:27,367
You know what, for your sake,

388
00:16:27,369 --> 00:16:30,370
I-I think it's a good thing
that I'm way down here.

389
00:16:32,889 --> 00:16:35,293
Boy, that was a quiet ride.

390
00:16:35,318 --> 00:16:36,710
(CHUCKLES)

391
00:16:36,712 --> 00:16:39,896
Good call not wasting all
your words on the ride home.

392
00:16:39,918 --> 00:16:41,669
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

393
00:16:43,060 --> 00:16:45,361
And you're not blinking again.

394
00:16:46,398 --> 00:16:48,164
Honey, I'm so sorry. I...

395
00:16:48,463 --> 00:16:50,866
I don't know what to say. I...

396
00:16:51,083 --> 00:16:53,001
(SOFTLY): Um...

397
00:16:58,688 --> 00:17:00,458
Surprise!

398
00:17:00,459 --> 00:17:02,703
- Oh, my God!
- (CHUCKLES)

399
00:17:02,704 --> 00:17:04,538
Oh, my God.

400
00:17:04,540 --> 00:17:06,573
You threw me a surprise party.

401
00:17:06,575 --> 00:17:10,110
That's right. Yeah, I needed
a big idea, and it came to me.

402
00:17:11,697 --> 00:17:13,480
Well, how did you pull this off?

403
00:17:13,482 --> 00:17:15,315
Well, it wasn't easy getting them here.

404
00:17:15,334 --> 00:17:16,375
Part of the agreement was

405
00:17:16,376 --> 00:17:18,581
I had to admit to
being a lying bonehead.

406
00:17:20,034 --> 00:17:22,355
You'll see it later.
It's written on the cake.

407
00:17:22,357 --> 00:17:24,591
Oh...

408
00:17:30,167 --> 00:17:33,043
Hey, everybody, I would
like to make a toast

409
00:17:33,044 --> 00:17:34,625
- to my beautiful wife...
- Ah.

410
00:17:34,626 --> 00:17:36,374
- On her birthday.
- Aw.

411
00:17:36,375 --> 00:17:39,001
Everything good that happens in my life

412
00:17:39,002 --> 00:17:40,333
happens because of you.

413
00:17:40,334 --> 00:17:42,168
- Oh.
- Thank you.

414
00:17:42,209 --> 00:17:45,292
And thanks to all of you for
getting over how mad you were at me.

415
00:17:46,648 --> 00:17:47,881
It was our pleasure.

416
00:17:47,883 --> 00:17:49,916
I really enjoyed how much you begged.

417
00:17:50,711 --> 00:17:51,940
JOY: Remember that part

418
00:17:51,965 --> 00:17:54,299
where he started to cry a little?

419
00:17:56,408 --> 00:17:58,742
Your husband is very thoughtful.

420
00:17:59,101 --> 00:18:00,794
This one here has messed up

421
00:18:00,796 --> 00:18:02,423
every birthday in my 40s.

422
00:18:02,424 --> 00:18:04,751
- Wha...?
- But you've got one year left

423
00:18:04,766 --> 00:18:06,566
before I turn 50.

424
00:18:07,687 --> 00:18:10,419
She's telling people she's 49?

425
00:18:10,880 --> 00:18:12,172
That means she had me when...

426
00:18:12,174 --> 00:18:13,874
Just let her have it, boy.

427
00:18:16,323 --> 00:18:18,245
Hey, Jen, sorry it took

428
00:18:18,276 --> 00:18:19,613
so long to have you guys over.

429
00:18:19,615 --> 00:18:21,882
Hey, how about you come
over tomorrow for game night?

430
00:18:21,884 --> 00:18:24,317
What's your pleasure?
Pictionary? Yahtzee?

431
00:18:24,334 --> 00:18:26,573
- Boggle?
- Or we can do all three,

432
00:18:26,626 --> 00:18:28,127
Pic-Yahtzee-Boggle.

433
00:18:28,459 --> 00:18:32,668
Oh, wow. Uh, well, let me talk
to Andi about that right now.

434
00:18:34,209 --> 00:18:36,418
- We were too interesting.
- Mm-hmm.

435
00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:38,166
Oh, here's one I hate...

436
00:18:38,191 --> 00:18:40,333
You're minding your own
business, watching television,

437
00:18:40,335 --> 00:18:43,503
the wife walks in and says,
<i>"There</i> you are."

438
00:18:43,505 --> 00:18:46,106
Mm-hmm. And then it's good-bye fun.

439
00:18:46,108 --> 00:18:48,542
And hello, Bed Bath & Beyond.

440
00:18:50,679 --> 00:18:53,057
I seriously think we
should vacation together.

441
00:18:53,626 --> 00:18:55,876
I would not say no to a cruise.

442
00:18:55,884 --> 00:18:57,361
Yeah.

443
00:18:57,861 --> 00:19:00,287
This is a great birthday, honey.

444
00:19:00,289 --> 00:19:03,023
I mean, you know, my hopes were high,

445
00:19:03,025 --> 00:19:06,028
and then they were real low, and then...

446
00:19:06,053 --> 00:19:08,458
you know, you came through
with this, and it's, like...

447
00:19:08,483 --> 00:19:10,830
(IMITATES EXPLOSION)

448
00:19:11,116 --> 00:19:12,299
Hey, you know what I'm thinking?

449
00:19:12,301 --> 00:19:14,310
Next time you offer to handle logistics,

450
00:19:14,335 --> 00:19:15,903
I'm gonna let you.

451
00:19:15,928 --> 00:19:17,437
I can't even spell "logistics."

452
00:19:17,439 --> 00:19:19,398
What am I doing trying
to handle them? (CHUCKLES)

453
00:19:19,684 --> 00:19:22,208
Come on, you're on a roll.

454
00:19:22,292 --> 00:19:24,501
I can't wait to see what my present is.

455
00:19:32,650 --> 00:19:33,908
Me neither.

456
00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:37,959
I-I mean, I can't wait
to see you open it.

457
00:19:38,742 --> 00:19:40,368
I know what it is. Yeah.

458
00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:42,459
It's... it's on the truck.

459
00:19:42,626 --> 00:19:43,793
I'll go get it. Here.

460
00:19:43,876 --> 00:19:45,627
- All right.
- I'll be right back.

461
00:19:47,336 --> 00:19:48,768
In about an hour.

462
00:19:55,106 --> 00:19:57,637
I say from now on we
stand up to our wives.

463
00:19:57,667 --> 00:19:59,917
The next time one of them
says,<i> "There</i> you are,"

464
00:19:59,943 --> 00:20:02,799
we just say, "Not now, I'm busy."

465
00:20:04,284 --> 00:20:05,282
I'm in.

466
00:20:05,292 --> 00:20:06,472
- All right.
- I feel strong, man.

467
00:20:06,501 --> 00:20:07,897
I feel good.

468
00:20:07,898 --> 00:20:09,198
Good.

469
00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:10,733
BOTH: <i>There</i> you are.

470
00:20:10,735 --> 00:20:12,268
Not now, I'm busy.

471
00:20:15,259 --> 00:20:16,839
Not now, you're what?

472
00:20:17,431 --> 00:20:19,375
No, he told... he...

473
00:20:22,033 --> 00:20:23,991
Don, you left me hanging.

474
00:20:24,250 --> 00:20:26,168
I'm sorry, I lost my nerve.

475
00:20:27,936 --> 00:20:32,936
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