1
00:00:12,494 --> 00:00:15,537
I was just reading your
naughty texts from this morning,

2
00:00:15,580 --> 00:00:17,385
and I believe this is the moment

3
00:00:17,410 --> 00:00:21,214
you referred to as "go time."

4
00:00:21,239 --> 00:00:23,308
And I bought us some fake candles

5
00:00:23,333 --> 00:00:26,113
so that we don't start another sex fire.

6
00:00:26,156 --> 00:00:27,853
Ooh.

7
00:00:27,897 --> 00:00:29,681
What is that, a blindfold?

8
00:00:29,725 --> 00:00:33,337
Ooh, I like that you're adding
some new plays to the game.

9
00:00:33,381 --> 00:00:34,799
No, it's just a washcloth.

10
00:00:34,824 --> 00:00:37,392
I have a headache. I'm sorry, honey.

11
00:00:37,417 --> 00:00:39,691
I just... I've been getting
a lot of them lately.

12
00:00:39,735 --> 00:00:41,084
Oh.

13
00:00:41,128 --> 00:00:42,315
Is there anything I can do?

14
00:00:42,340 --> 00:00:43,760
Make you some coffee or...?

15
00:00:43,785 --> 00:00:46,018
No, thanks. I had two cups after dinner.

16
00:00:46,043 --> 00:00:47,674
I-I'll call the doctor tomorrow.

17
00:00:47,699 --> 00:00:49,462
That's smart. Yeah, get it checked out.

18
00:00:53,575 --> 00:00:55,359
This is nice.

19
00:00:55,403 --> 00:00:58,406
We've never had a work
meeting by candlelight before.

20
00:00:59,407 --> 00:01:00,712
Well, I'm using everything

21
00:01:00,756 --> 00:01:02,758
I didn't get a chance to use last night.

22
00:01:03,889 --> 00:01:07,415
So, if you want whipped cream
in your coffee, let me know.

23
00:01:09,291 --> 00:01:11,593
I like it. I feel like I'm at a séance.

24
00:01:13,682 --> 00:01:16,554
Grandpa, I'm sorry I
took your cigarettes.

25
00:01:18,165 --> 00:01:20,538
Well, look, I appreciate
you guys working here today.

26
00:01:20,563 --> 00:01:21,999
Since Andi's at the doctor,

27
00:01:22,024 --> 00:01:23,649
I wanted to be home when she gets back.

28
00:01:23,674 --> 00:01:24,891
The doctor? Is she okay?

29
00:01:24,916 --> 00:01:26,758
Yeah, yeah. She's just
feeling a little tired

30
00:01:26,782 --> 00:01:28,523
and headachy.

31
00:01:28,566 --> 00:01:30,916
Hmm. Sounds like she
got a case of the wifes.

32
00:01:32,527 --> 00:01:33,789
Hi, guys.

33
00:01:33,832 --> 00:01:35,573
Hey. So, what did the doctor say?

34
00:01:35,617 --> 00:01:36,955
It's nothing serious.

35
00:01:36,980 --> 00:01:39,186
But the doctor did recommend one thing

36
00:01:39,229 --> 00:01:41,666
- that I'm thinking we should
discuss in private. - Oh.

37
00:01:41,710 --> 00:01:43,538
- We should go.
- Good idea.

38
00:01:43,581 --> 00:01:45,235
Come on, Lowell.

39
00:01:45,279 --> 00:01:47,281
Come on, Grandpa.

40
00:01:49,935 --> 00:01:51,894
So, uh, wh-what's going on?

41
00:01:51,937 --> 00:01:54,244
Well, the doctor says that
my problem is hormonal.

42
00:01:54,511 --> 00:01:55,990
Oh, that's not so bad.

43
00:01:56,015 --> 00:01:58,161
So, what do you do for
that, a pill or something?

44
00:01:58,205 --> 00:02:00,207
Kind of. In-in the sense

45
00:02:00,250 --> 00:02:02,209
that I have to stop taking a pill.

46
00:02:02,478 --> 00:02:04,001
The pill.

47
00:02:04,898 --> 00:02:06,751
What?

48
00:02:07,664 --> 00:02:08,945
I know.

49
00:02:08,970 --> 00:02:11,059
But that's the best pill.

50
00:02:12,351 --> 00:02:14,482
I would give up all the
other pills for that pill.

51
00:02:14,525 --> 00:02:16,140
Yeah.

52
00:02:16,165 --> 00:02:18,403
I mean, that pill lets us
have fun without consequences.

53
00:02:19,279 --> 00:02:20,638
We can't afford to
put another consequence

54
00:02:20,662 --> 00:02:22,707
through college.

55
00:02:22,751 --> 00:02:24,622
It's like some mysterious force

56
00:02:24,666 --> 00:02:26,537
is trying to stop us from having sex.

57
00:02:26,581 --> 00:02:27,930
I...

58
00:02:49,995 --> 00:02:52,389
So, um, I've been off
the pill for a few days,

59
00:02:52,433 --> 00:02:54,261
and I feel pretty good.

60
00:02:54,304 --> 00:02:55,349
Good.

61
00:02:56,924 --> 00:02:58,743
I said I feel good.

62
00:02:59,674 --> 00:03:01,833
Take your pants off.

63
00:03:02,424 --> 00:03:05,166
My favorite four words
in the English language.

64
00:03:09,014 --> 00:03:10,842
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

65
00:03:10,886 --> 00:03:12,844
We can't just do this.

66
00:03:12,888 --> 00:03:14,585
There's no goalie in the net.

67
00:03:14,629 --> 00:03:18,850
Okay, so go to the drugstore
and buy a box of goalies.

68
00:03:18,894 --> 00:03:21,331
I... that'll take too long, you know?

69
00:03:21,375 --> 00:03:23,333
My uniform's on. They
sang the national anthem.

70
00:03:23,377 --> 00:03:25,944
It's-it's time to take the ice.

71
00:03:27,218 --> 00:03:28,730
Well, what do we do?

72
00:03:28,773 --> 00:03:31,907
There's got to be one of those
things around here somewhere.

73
00:03:31,950 --> 00:03:33,865
When was the last time
I slept with someone

74
00:03:33,909 --> 00:03:35,606
I didn't completely trust?

75
00:03:36,825 --> 00:03:38,783
Oh! I got it.

76
00:03:38,827 --> 00:03:40,815
I need my box of stuff
from my single days.

77
00:03:40,840 --> 00:03:42,624
All right, I'll be
right back. Don't move.

78
00:03:53,755 --> 00:03:56,061
Ow!

79
00:04:26,978 --> 00:04:28,529
Hey, there.

80
00:04:30,531 --> 00:04:32,489
Mm.That was fun.

81
00:04:32,533 --> 00:04:34,491
Yeah. It's always fun.

82
00:04:34,535 --> 00:04:36,014
That's the thing about it.

83
00:04:39,510 --> 00:04:40,976
It was different, though.

84
00:04:41,175 --> 00:04:43,134
It's great to go for a spin,

85
00:04:43,159 --> 00:04:45,502
but it's hard to wear a helmet

86
00:04:45,546 --> 00:04:48,375
when I've already felt
the wind in my face.

87
00:04:48,418 --> 00:04:50,855
Well, if you don't like
wearing one of those,

88
00:04:50,899 --> 00:04:52,640
there's other forms of birth control.

89
00:04:52,683 --> 00:04:54,381
Look, the best birth control

90
00:04:54,424 --> 00:04:56,818
is if I grow a mustache again.

91
00:04:57,483 --> 00:04:59,821
It smelled like pretzels.

92
00:04:59,864 --> 00:05:02,519
Okay, well, let's narrow
down our options, right?

93
00:05:02,563 --> 00:05:03,999
We know it has to be hormone-free,

94
00:05:04,042 --> 00:05:05,696
so all that stuff is no good.

95
00:05:05,740 --> 00:05:06,871
Yeah. And it'd be great

96
00:05:06,915 --> 00:05:08,699
if using it didn't require a time-out

97
00:05:08,743 --> 00:05:10,181
just when things are
getting hot and heavy.

98
00:05:10,205 --> 00:05:14,079
Agreed. That is a bad time
for a commercial break.

99
00:05:14,318 --> 00:05:16,233
Okay, but...

100
00:05:16,258 --> 00:05:17,665
we can work around that

101
00:05:17,708 --> 00:05:20,058
if one of us is prepared in advance.

102
00:05:20,102 --> 00:05:22,800
Yeah. Yeah, but-but I
don't want to schedule it.

103
00:05:22,844 --> 00:05:24,585
Being able to do it whenever I want

104
00:05:24,628 --> 00:05:26,021
is the whole reason I got married.

105
00:05:27,539 --> 00:05:29,323
Besides all the love.

106
00:05:30,112 --> 00:05:32,157
But that got me in the door.

107
00:05:32,201 --> 00:05:34,116
Okay, but, you know,
u-until we figure it out,

108
00:05:34,159 --> 00:05:35,857
we need to keep our hands to ourselves.

109
00:05:35,900 --> 00:05:38,468
Yeah, well, sure. No big deal.

110
00:05:38,493 --> 00:05:40,663
We've been married 20
years. How hard can it be?

111
00:05:40,781 --> 00:05:42,084
_

112
00:05:42,118 --> 00:05:44,866
This has been the
hardest week of my life.

113
00:05:47,082 --> 00:05:50,433
You're over here pouring
coffee like a minx.

114
00:05:52,252 --> 00:05:54,133
Teasing me.

115
00:05:55,345 --> 00:05:57,007
Just knowing we can't do it

116
00:05:57,032 --> 00:05:58,773
makes me want to do it even more.

117
00:06:00,185 --> 00:06:03,493
If I had known our last time
was gonna be our last time,

118
00:06:03,985 --> 00:06:05,843
I would've put on a better show.

119
00:06:05,887 --> 00:06:07,497
Okay.

120
00:06:07,541 --> 00:06:09,407
Let's figure out this budget.

121
00:06:09,432 --> 00:06:12,113
Oh, numbers are boring.
That should help.Yeah.

122
00:06:13,982 --> 00:06:16,767
Okay. We are way over budget

123
00:06:16,811 --> 00:06:18,421
on the new house we're flipping.

124
00:06:18,446 --> 00:06:20,858
We need to bring down
the cost of the fixtures.

125
00:06:21,287 --> 00:06:22,207
Fixtures?

126
00:06:22,251 --> 00:06:24,131
Well, that's, uh...

127
00:06:24,558 --> 00:06:26,081
should be...

128
00:06:26,608 --> 00:06:29,456
Do you have to hold your
pencil like that, all sexy?

129
00:06:30,955 --> 00:06:33,218
That's... that's just the way I write.

130
00:06:33,262 --> 00:06:34,568
- Mm.
- You know.

131
00:06:34,611 --> 00:06:37,962
Fast, and then not so fast.

132
00:06:43,490 --> 00:06:45,579
Can feel your eyes burning
a hole through my shirt.

133
00:06:45,622 --> 00:06:46,686
I like it.

134
00:06:46,711 --> 00:06:48,538
Okay, that's it.

135
00:06:48,582 --> 00:06:50,741
Go back to fooling around already.

136
00:06:50,766 --> 00:06:52,235
And by the way, I shouldn't even know

137
00:06:52,259 --> 00:06:53,486
you haven't been fooling around,

138
00:06:53,510 --> 00:06:55,634
but the two of you
won't shut up about it.

139
00:06:56,936 --> 00:06:59,983
I'd file a complaint
with HR, but that's me.

140
00:07:01,986 --> 00:07:04,467
Look, we have a real problem here.

141
00:07:04,511 --> 00:07:05,760
Andi had to go off the pill,

142
00:07:05,785 --> 00:07:07,557
and none of the other options are good.

143
00:07:07,601 --> 00:07:08,926
Believe me, if there was a solution,

144
00:07:08,950 --> 00:07:10,081
we would have found it.

145
00:07:10,125 --> 00:07:11,246
Well, I have a solution.

146
00:07:11,271 --> 00:07:13,082
Great. We're open to anything.

147
00:07:13,107 --> 00:07:14,782
- Get a vasectomy.
- What?!

148
00:07:16,465 --> 00:07:17,942
I never even thought of that.

149
00:07:17,967 --> 00:07:20,222
Who would think of it?

150
00:07:21,528 --> 00:07:24,095
Sounds awfully permanent, Lowell.

151
00:07:24,139 --> 00:07:25,582
That's what's great about it.

152
00:07:25,607 --> 00:07:28,074
One afternoon, and you never
have to worry about it again.

153
00:07:28,099 --> 00:07:29,449
What do you think?

154
00:07:35,846 --> 00:07:38,801
Well, I, uh...

155
00:07:39,158 --> 00:07:42,426
I think I need more information

156
00:07:42,451 --> 00:07:46,411
from the expert who brought
it up in front of my wife.

157
00:07:47,728 --> 00:07:48,973
Yeah.

158
00:07:48,998 --> 00:07:50,924
Come on, Lowell. Let's go
talk about it in the driveway

159
00:07:50,948 --> 00:07:53,037
man-to-man. Come on.

160
00:07:53,450 --> 00:07:55,798
Come on! Come on.

161
00:07:56,111 --> 00:07:58,113
Come on.

162
00:07:59,827 --> 00:08:01,698
What are you doing to me?

163
00:08:03,265 --> 00:08:06,224
As soon as you called me a
man, I knew I was in trouble.

164
00:08:07,950 --> 00:08:11,911
You never say the v-word
in another man's house.

165
00:08:13,838 --> 00:08:15,623
I was just trying to help.

166
00:08:15,648 --> 00:08:17,052
You know, millions of guys get vasec...

167
00:08:17,076 --> 00:08:18,338
Stop saying it!

168
00:08:20,146 --> 00:08:22,568
Let me tell you something,
Lowell. Surgery is knives

169
00:08:22,593 --> 00:08:24,595
and scalpels and
needles, and none of those

170
00:08:24,620 --> 00:08:27,754
will ever come anywhere
near my favorite friend.

171
00:08:29,030 --> 00:08:30,791
- S-So, then, don't do it.
- Yeah.

172
00:08:30,816 --> 00:08:33,568
But now she's heard the word.

173
00:08:34,032 --> 00:08:35,816
It's out there.

174
00:08:36,341 --> 00:08:38,996
You did a very bad
thing, Lowell. Very bad.

175
00:08:39,040 --> 00:08:40,563
I'm not sorry.

176
00:08:40,607 --> 00:08:42,323
You were both playing footsie
with me under the table.

177
00:08:42,347 --> 00:08:43,914
I had to make it stop.

178
00:08:52,221 --> 00:08:53,663
Where do you think you're going?

179
00:08:53,707 --> 00:08:54,882
My stuff's in there.

180
00:08:54,925 --> 00:08:56,207
Well, you should've thought about that

181
00:08:56,231 --> 00:08:58,538
before you fired up
your propaganda machine.

182
00:09:03,988 --> 00:09:05,354
Hey.

183
00:09:05,834 --> 00:09:06,792
Where's Lowell?

184
00:09:06,817 --> 00:09:08,620
Oh, uh, he left. Yeah.

185
00:09:09,897 --> 00:09:11,681
He felt bad about getting involved

186
00:09:11,725 --> 00:09:14,031
- in our personal business.
- Mm.

187
00:09:14,303 --> 00:09:17,553
You know, h-his idea would solve
our problem once and for all.

188
00:09:17,578 --> 00:09:19,851
I mean, maybe it's worth considering.

189
00:09:19,876 --> 00:09:20,920
Uh-huh.

190
00:09:20,945 --> 00:09:22,070
I'm gonna go call Janette.

191
00:09:22,095 --> 00:09:23,836
I think her husband had one.

192
00:09:29,990 --> 00:09:31,731
Very bad, Lowell!

193
00:09:40,023 --> 00:09:42,264
Can I come sit with you guys yet?

194
00:09:42,930 --> 00:09:44,710
No. Thanks to you,

195
00:09:44,735 --> 00:09:47,108
Andi says it's something
we should consider.

196
00:09:47,151 --> 00:09:49,066
She's calling her friend Janette.

197
00:09:49,110 --> 00:09:50,415
When Janette got wind chimes,

198
00:09:50,459 --> 00:09:52,069
we got wind chimes.

199
00:09:52,928 --> 00:09:55,203
How could you say the
v-word in front of his wife?

200
00:09:55,246 --> 00:09:56,813
Why do you hate him?

201
00:09:56,857 --> 00:10:00,338
I didn't know it was
such a terrible idea.

202
00:10:00,897 --> 00:10:02,661
Fine, you can come back over.

203
00:10:02,686 --> 00:10:04,386
But you can never say that word again.

204
00:10:04,429 --> 00:10:07,128
I won't, I swear. That was a cold,

205
00:10:07,171 --> 00:10:08,956
lonely eight minutes.

206
00:10:10,871 --> 00:10:12,829
The question is: What do I do now?

207
00:10:12,873 --> 00:10:14,744
Obviously, I'm not gonna get a...

208
00:10:14,788 --> 00:10:16,224
I can't even say it.

209
00:10:16,267 --> 00:10:18,313
Let's just call it
Lowell's terrible idea.

210
00:10:20,010 --> 00:10:22,283
You could make Lowell's
terrible idea go away

211
00:10:22,308 --> 00:10:24,448
if you give Andi a better solution.

212
00:10:24,488 --> 00:10:25,634
Like what?

213
00:10:25,659 --> 00:10:27,844
Well, there are other
forms of birth control.

214
00:10:27,888 --> 00:10:29,933
Your mother and I
used the rhythm method.

215
00:10:29,977 --> 00:10:32,370
It only failed twice... One, two.

216
00:10:33,492 --> 00:10:36,072
Or you could just do
it with lady on top.

217
00:10:36,097 --> 00:10:37,767
Let gravity do the work.

218
00:10:38,172 --> 00:10:40,335
How do you not have 20 kids?

219
00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:42,859
- Gravity.
- Mm.

220
00:10:42,903 --> 00:10:45,023
She's not gonna go for any of those.

221
00:10:45,048 --> 00:10:47,000
Yeah, don't listen to
Don's terrible idea.

222
00:10:47,025 --> 00:10:49,141
That's the new terrible idea.

223
00:10:49,336 --> 00:10:51,781
Don't get cocky. You started this.

224
00:10:51,825 --> 00:10:53,429
Look, the minute Lowell mentioned it,

225
00:10:53,454 --> 00:10:54,804
you know what popped into my head?

226
00:10:54,828 --> 00:10:56,967
- Our old dog Rex.
- Oh.

227
00:10:56,992 --> 00:10:59,484
After we had him fixed,
he was never the same.

228
00:10:59,528 --> 00:11:02,327
That's true. Poor guy
stopped chasing the Frisbee.

229
00:11:02,352 --> 00:11:04,773
Just didn't see the point anymore.

230
00:11:05,650 --> 00:11:08,381
His one purpose in life
was to make little Rexes,

231
00:11:08,406 --> 00:11:10,452
and the doctor just took it away.

232
00:11:10,929 --> 00:11:13,237
And then, of course, there was the end.

233
00:11:13,281 --> 00:11:15,139
Aw.

234
00:11:15,164 --> 00:11:16,936
The end? What happened to Rex?

235
00:11:16,961 --> 00:11:18,939
Ran out in front of the bookmobile.

236
00:11:21,332 --> 00:11:23,616
We'll never know if it
was on purpose or not.

237
00:11:23,641 --> 00:11:27,034
But if he had thumbs, I bet
he would have written a note.

238
00:11:27,077 --> 00:11:31,734
I just need a surefire way to
make this whole thing disappear.

239
00:11:31,778 --> 00:11:33,170
I mean,

240
00:11:33,214 --> 00:11:35,433
I guess I could just say "no."

241
00:11:35,477 --> 00:11:37,726
Okay. Nice knowing you, Rex.

242
00:11:37,751 --> 00:11:41,273
Yeah. It won't work.
That "no" won't stick.

243
00:11:41,298 --> 00:11:42,388
Why not?

244
00:11:42,413 --> 00:11:44,921
Because if you hit her
with a knee-jerk "no"

245
00:11:44,946 --> 00:11:48,185
without anything to back it
up, she'll hit you with a "why."

246
00:11:48,229 --> 00:11:50,187
And then you're dead.

247
00:11:50,231 --> 00:11:51,610
Right.

248
00:11:51,635 --> 00:11:54,352
So whenever Marcy
suggests some nutty thing,

249
00:11:54,377 --> 00:11:56,771
I go through the
motions, I get informed,

250
00:11:56,796 --> 00:11:58,836
and then I say, "I thought about it,

251
00:11:58,861 --> 00:12:01,298
I did my homework, but it's a 'no.'"

252
00:12:01,921 --> 00:12:03,210
And that "no" sticks?

253
00:12:03,235 --> 00:12:05,629
Oh, yeah, the wives love it
when you do your homework.

254
00:12:05,654 --> 00:12:08,031
- Yeah.
- Deep down, they're all teachers.

255
00:12:08,075 --> 00:12:10,947
It's a thoughtful, open-minded "no."

256
00:12:10,991 --> 00:12:13,820
- Mm-hmm.
- Wives dig that hippie crap.

257
00:12:13,863 --> 00:12:15,169
Okay.

258
00:12:15,212 --> 00:12:16,413
How about this?

259
00:12:16,438 --> 00:12:19,256
I'll go for a consultation
with a doctor who specializes

260
00:12:19,281 --> 00:12:21,218
in Lowell's terrible idea.

261
00:12:21,262 --> 00:12:23,873
I didn't invent it. I just said it.

262
00:12:23,917 --> 00:12:25,585
And I'll bring Andi with me.

263
00:12:25,610 --> 00:12:27,144
Okay, she'll see me doing my homework

264
00:12:27,169 --> 00:12:29,650
by listening to the
doctor, I take a day or two

265
00:12:29,675 --> 00:12:31,065
to consider it with an open mind,

266
00:12:31,090 --> 00:12:33,072
then I give Andi a "no" that sticks.

267
00:12:33,097 --> 00:12:35,260
Then problem solved... no vasectomy.

268
00:12:35,285 --> 00:12:36,566
- Lowell!
- I heard it.

269
00:12:36,591 --> 00:12:38,593
I'll go back over there.

270
00:12:44,328 --> 00:12:47,244
You know, I am so impressed that
you would even consider this.

271
00:12:47,288 --> 00:12:50,421
Well, a consultation
seemed like a good idea.

272
00:12:50,465 --> 00:12:53,468
I like to do my homework
before I make a decision.

273
00:12:55,470 --> 00:12:58,038
You can never go wrong with homework.

274
00:13:04,801 --> 00:13:06,977
You look hot.

275
00:13:09,341 --> 00:13:10,426
I do?

276
00:13:10,451 --> 00:13:12,574
I don't know. It's been too long.

277
00:13:14,395 --> 00:13:16,169
You could grow that
stupid mustache again.

278
00:13:16,194 --> 00:13:17,630
I'd be all over you.

279
00:13:20,764 --> 00:13:24,368
Mr. and Mrs. Burns, the
doctor's ready for you.

280
00:13:24,825 --> 00:13:26,098
You okay?

281
00:13:26,123 --> 00:13:28,255
- You nervous?
- No.

282
00:13:28,599 --> 00:13:30,732
It's a consultation.

283
00:13:32,064 --> 00:13:34,607
A consultation is just a consultation.

284
00:13:35,466 --> 00:13:37,271
Everybody feels uneasy,

285
00:13:37,296 --> 00:13:39,820
but once they talk to
the doctor, they relax.

286
00:13:39,971 --> 00:13:43,148
Some guys even do the procedure
during the consultation.

287
00:13:46,189 --> 00:13:48,523
Yeah. That's what Janette's husband did.

288
00:13:50,046 --> 00:13:51,962
He did, huh?

289
00:13:51,987 --> 00:13:53,771
Old wind chime Bob?

290
00:14:02,329 --> 00:14:04,104
Adam?

291
00:14:21,711 --> 00:14:24,453
There you are. I've been
looking all over for you.

292
00:14:25,985 --> 00:14:28,251
How did you get in the
house? I had the keys.

293
00:14:28,276 --> 00:14:30,147
Oh, I used my Swiss Army knife.

294
00:14:31,006 --> 00:14:33,126
I hid it under my dress.

295
00:14:34,043 --> 00:14:37,094
Doctor has a knife, I
have a knife. Fair is fair.

296
00:14:39,042 --> 00:14:41,088
Care to tell me what
happened back there?

297
00:14:41,934 --> 00:14:43,233
I can't do it.

298
00:14:43,404 --> 00:14:44,475
I can't do it so much,

299
00:14:44,500 --> 00:14:46,372
I can't even pretend
to think about doing it.

300
00:14:47,427 --> 00:14:48,693
You were pretending?

301
00:14:48,718 --> 00:14:52,069
Yes. I wanted you to
think I was open-minded

302
00:14:52,094 --> 00:14:54,241
about that procedure, but I am not.

303
00:14:54,284 --> 00:14:57,418
Do you know what they do in
that room? It is barbaric!

304
00:14:59,788 --> 00:15:01,023
It was your idea.

305
00:15:01,048 --> 00:15:03,219
No, it was Lowell's idea.

306
00:15:03,244 --> 00:15:04,991
I would never suggest that.

307
00:15:05,469 --> 00:15:09,038
It would be taking away my
whole purpose on this planet.

308
00:15:10,257 --> 00:15:11,946
What about the little Adams?

309
00:15:11,971 --> 00:15:14,227
- What, you mean, like, babies?
- Yes.

310
00:15:15,262 --> 00:15:16,836
That's what I'm here for.

311
00:15:16,861 --> 00:15:19,571
To pass on all this good stuff.

312
00:15:22,407 --> 00:15:24,539
But we already had babies.

313
00:15:24,564 --> 00:15:26,101
And we don't need any more.

314
00:15:26,126 --> 00:15:29,406
Look, I... I know we did,

315
00:15:29,450 --> 00:15:31,452
but I'm just saying.

316
00:15:33,382 --> 00:15:35,336
What if?

317
00:15:36,758 --> 00:15:40,069
You mean what if I
get struck by lightning

318
00:15:40,113 --> 00:15:41,840
and you want to have
kids with some new woman?

319
00:15:41,864 --> 00:15:43,648
That "what if"?

320
00:15:44,628 --> 00:15:45,605
No.

321
00:15:45,630 --> 00:15:47,936
It's bigger and less selfish than that.

322
00:15:49,683 --> 00:15:52,628
What if I want to have
kids with lots of women?

323
00:15:55,193 --> 00:15:56,576
Excuse me?

324
00:15:57,931 --> 00:16:00,412
I mean, if there's a natural disaster.

325
00:16:00,588 --> 00:16:02,852
You know, the big one.

326
00:16:03,779 --> 00:16:06,005
Meteor or alien invasion.

327
00:16:06,030 --> 00:16:07,701
Everybody gets wiped out

328
00:16:07,726 --> 00:16:09,859
except me and five young women.

329
00:16:12,637 --> 00:16:15,235
Oh, they're young now. I see.

330
00:16:16,237 --> 00:16:19,197
There's lots of 'em, and they're young.

331
00:16:19,718 --> 00:16:21,231
Well, yeah, they have to be young.

332
00:16:21,256 --> 00:16:22,889
Those are the only people
that survive the big one.

333
00:16:22,913 --> 00:16:24,303
Uh-huh.

334
00:16:25,208 --> 00:16:26,721
Then how did you survive?

335
00:16:26,746 --> 00:16:29,183
I can survive anything.
I got my Swiss Army knife.

336
00:16:30,838 --> 00:16:35,669
My-my point is, I may have
to populate the human race.

337
00:16:36,862 --> 00:16:39,553
It's happened before. My name is Adam.

338
00:16:42,261 --> 00:16:44,612
Okay, so your big worry

339
00:16:45,096 --> 00:16:47,902
is a doomsday orgy fantasy?

340
00:16:49,002 --> 00:16:50,394
Yes!

341
00:16:50,723 --> 00:16:53,378
And you don't want to change that story?

342
00:16:53,754 --> 00:16:56,017
No!

343
00:16:56,265 --> 00:16:57,701
Why?

344
00:16:59,971 --> 00:17:01,518
Why?

345
00:17:02,663 --> 00:17:05,100
Yeah. Why?

346
00:17:08,389 --> 00:17:10,478
I was warned about this.

347
00:17:13,070 --> 00:17:15,072
All right, fine.

348
00:17:16,658 --> 00:17:18,724
If I had that operation, uh...

349
00:17:20,126 --> 00:17:22,563
I would feel like less of a man.

350
00:17:24,786 --> 00:17:26,610
Why didn't you just say that?

351
00:17:26,635 --> 00:17:29,508
Because no man wants to say that.

352
00:17:31,224 --> 00:17:33,139
We don't even want to
admit the possibility

353
00:17:33,182 --> 00:17:35,184
that we could be less of a man.

354
00:17:36,528 --> 00:17:39,145
You don't think I'm curious
about the mango margarita?

355
00:17:39,188 --> 00:17:41,970
Huh? It looks delicious,

356
00:17:41,995 --> 00:17:44,506
but I will never order one.

357
00:17:45,541 --> 00:17:46,999
Wow.

358
00:17:49,242 --> 00:17:51,157
That is some deep,

359
00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:53,202
ancient boy stuff.

360
00:17:55,049 --> 00:17:56,180
We think things.

361
00:17:56,205 --> 00:17:59,252
We don't tell you all the
things, but we think 'em.

362
00:18:01,693 --> 00:18:03,599
Hey, first of all,

363
00:18:03,624 --> 00:18:07,161
I would never want you to do
something that you didn't want to do.

364
00:18:07,186 --> 00:18:08,722
And second of all,

365
00:18:08,747 --> 00:18:11,968
you could never be less of a man to me.

366
00:18:13,264 --> 00:18:14,419
Really?

367
00:18:14,444 --> 00:18:15,616
Really.

368
00:18:22,077 --> 00:18:24,035
You know, uh...

369
00:18:24,719 --> 00:18:26,808
it's windy today.

370
00:18:28,331 --> 00:18:30,879
And when I was running home,

371
00:18:30,904 --> 00:18:32,558
trying to keep my dress down...

372
00:18:33,590 --> 00:18:34,939
it occurred to me

373
00:18:34,983 --> 00:18:38,935
that I may have
overreacted a little bit.

374
00:18:38,960 --> 00:18:40,875
- A lot.
- A lot.

375
00:18:45,157 --> 00:18:47,116
I love you.

376
00:18:47,365 --> 00:18:48,874
I love you, too.

377
00:18:51,162 --> 00:18:52,914
But we still can't have sex.

378
00:18:52,957 --> 00:18:54,742
I know.

379
00:18:57,260 --> 00:18:59,958
But what's our second-favorite
thing to do in the bedroom?

380
00:19:01,126 --> 00:19:02,911
We can watch House Hunters.

381
00:19:05,928 --> 00:19:07,169
Okay.

382
00:19:07,194 --> 00:19:10,935
Hey, but you can't hug me
when they find wood floors

383
00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:13,528
under the carpet, or we
might have a fourth kid.

384
00:19:18,008 --> 00:19:20,532
But it turns me on so much!

385
00:19:26,277 --> 00:19:28,062
You don't look so good.

386
00:19:28,808 --> 00:19:31,115
I had another nookie-free night.

387
00:19:32,736 --> 00:19:34,564
I'm going crazy.

388
00:19:34,732 --> 00:19:38,127
I'm like a racehorse stuck in a barn.

389
00:19:39,526 --> 00:19:41,767
I know what you mean.
It's like the Olympics.

390
00:19:41,792 --> 00:19:43,167
If I don't get it every two years,

391
00:19:43,192 --> 00:19:45,020
I feel like I missed something.

392
00:19:45,862 --> 00:19:47,982
Adam? Adam, I just got off
the phone with my doctor...

393
00:19:48,012 --> 00:19:49,931
Oh. Lowell,

394
00:19:49,956 --> 00:19:52,169
you have to go. Now!

395
00:19:52,194 --> 00:19:53,848
Now? Why?

396
00:19:55,221 --> 00:19:56,564
Because all your stuff's out there.

397
00:19:56,588 --> 00:19:58,196
Come on! Come on.

398
00:19:58,221 --> 00:19:59,328
Come on, come on.

399
00:19:59,372 --> 00:20:01,678
This keeps happening to me.

400
00:20:02,473 --> 00:20:04,479
What? What? What is it?

401
00:20:04,504 --> 00:20:06,466
The doctor got my test results back,

402
00:20:06,509 --> 00:20:08,859
and my headaches aren't from the pill.

403
00:20:08,903 --> 00:20:10,830
It's from too much coffee! Yeah.

404
00:20:10,855 --> 00:20:13,244
Turns out I have a
horrible caffeine addiction!

405
00:20:13,269 --> 00:20:15,119
How awesome is that?!

406
00:20:15,144 --> 00:20:17,390
So awesome!

407
00:20:17,433 --> 00:20:19,689
- Let's celebrate. Where's your pills?
- I already took two.

408
00:20:19,713 --> 00:20:21,056
The kids are at school.
I'll race you upstairs.

409
00:20:21,080 --> 00:20:24,148
Okay. Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait.

410
00:20:24,173 --> 00:20:25,934
- Wait,, wait, wait, wait, wait.
- What?

411
00:20:25,959 --> 00:20:27,482
What is that for?

412
00:20:27,507 --> 00:20:29,422
You know, just for fun.

413
00:20:30,869 --> 00:20:33,295
You be the sexy nurse,
and I'll be the guy

414
00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:35,340
who just woke up from a coma
and forgot how to have sex.

415
00:20:35,364 --> 00:20:37,460
Oh, let's go. Oh!

416
00:20:40,124 --> 00:20:45,124
Synced and corrected by Octavia
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