1
00:00:03,067 --> 00:00:04,416
[sighs]Hey.

2
00:00:04,460 --> 00:00:05,374
How was lunch?

3
00:00:05,417 --> 00:00:06,853
Oh, well, your dad
wanted to go

4
00:00:06,897 --> 00:00:07,985
to the Chinese buffet.

5
00:00:08,029 --> 00:00:09,291
It was all-you-can-eat,

6
00:00:09,334 --> 00:00:10,944
and we took that
as a challenge.

7
00:00:10,988 --> 00:00:12,511
[chuckles]It was like the war.

8
00:00:12,555 --> 00:00:15,079
I went into the jungle
innocent and hopeful,

9
00:00:15,123 --> 00:00:17,125
and I came out
just looking for a bathroom.

10
00:00:18,778 --> 00:00:20,215
And we blame you.

11
00:00:20,258 --> 00:00:21,738
Hey, before I pulled in,

12
00:00:21,781 --> 00:00:23,000
I asked, "Are we
really doing this?"

13
00:00:23,044 --> 00:00:25,220
And I got nods from you and you.

14
00:00:25,263 --> 00:00:27,787
We all knew
what we were getting into.

15
00:00:27,831 --> 00:00:29,267
What's this?

16
00:00:29,311 --> 00:00:31,226
Oh, that got delivered
while you were out.

17
00:00:31,269 --> 00:00:32,792
Ooh, let's see what we got.

18
00:00:32,836 --> 00:00:34,838
[Adam and Andi scream]

19
00:00:34,881 --> 00:00:36,840
[kids laugh]

20
00:00:36,883 --> 00:00:38,711
KATE and TEDDY and EMME:
April fools!

21
00:00:38,755 --> 00:00:41,801
[laughs]You almost scared the
all-you-can-eat out of me.

22
00:00:43,760 --> 00:00:45,283
Hey, Dad started it.

23
00:00:45,327 --> 00:00:47,285
Look what he did to us.

24
00:00:47,329 --> 00:00:50,680
Yeah, this morning I hit 'em
with the old sneaker snake.

25
00:00:50,723 --> 00:00:52,464
Ah.But guys, listen,

26
00:00:52,508 --> 00:00:54,118
I want to have
a serious discussion with you

27
00:00:54,162 --> 00:00:55,902
about this April Fools' stuff.

28
00:00:55,946 --> 00:00:56,860
That's right.

29
00:00:56,903 --> 00:00:59,254
I am so proud of you.

30
00:00:59,297 --> 00:01:00,907
ANDI:
What?

31
00:01:00,951 --> 00:01:02,387
No, no, don't encourage that.

32
00:01:02,431 --> 00:01:05,042
Oh, come on, it's just
good, clean family fun.

33
00:01:05,086 --> 00:01:06,913
We've been pranking
each other for years.

34
00:01:06,957 --> 00:01:09,525
Yeah, I taught your dad
everything he knows.

35
00:01:09,568 --> 00:01:12,789
Remember the time I sewed the
legholes of your underwear shut?

36
00:01:12,832 --> 00:01:14,878
[laughing]:
Yeah.

37
00:01:14,921 --> 00:01:17,185
I hopped around for 20 minutes
and finally got one leg

38
00:01:17,228 --> 00:01:20,013
through the flap
hole in the front.[laughs]

39
00:01:20,057 --> 00:01:22,451
How about the time you put
the fake dog poop on my bed?

40
00:01:23,887 --> 00:01:27,020
We didn't have the money
for fake dog poop.

41
00:01:27,064 --> 00:01:28,718
What?

42
00:01:29,588 --> 00:01:30,981
Oh, you still got it.

43
00:01:31,024 --> 00:01:32,069
He still got it.
Ah.

44
00:01:35,072 --> 00:01:35,855
DON:
Having a little prank war

45
00:01:35,899 --> 00:01:37,335
with the kids, huh?

46
00:01:37,379 --> 00:01:38,945
Yeah, you're living the dream.

47
00:01:38,989 --> 00:01:42,035
Ah, see? I'm not the only one
who likes this stuff.

48
00:01:42,079 --> 00:01:43,602
I go through this
with you every year,

49
00:01:43,646 --> 00:01:45,648
and I still don't understand
why you like it.

50
00:01:45,691 --> 00:01:47,084
Well, I don't know. It's fun.

51
00:01:47,128 --> 00:01:48,999
You love fun. You're fun-loving.

52
00:01:51,044 --> 00:01:53,090
You know, like Marcy used to be.

53
00:01:55,397 --> 00:01:56,833
I was fun,

54
00:01:56,876 --> 00:01:59,052
but then something
made me tired.

55
00:01:59,096 --> 00:02:01,968
Well, there's just got
to be more of a reason

56
00:02:02,012 --> 00:02:03,492
than just fun.

57
00:02:03,535 --> 00:02:05,798
Look, not everything
has a deeper meaning.

58
00:02:05,842 --> 00:02:07,104
It's those books you read.

59
00:02:07,148 --> 00:02:08,801
You got to get out
of the self-help aisle

60
00:02:08,845 --> 00:02:11,978
and come join the rest of us
over by the comic books.

61
00:02:12,022 --> 00:02:14,590
Last time I took
you to a bookstore,

62
00:02:14,633 --> 00:02:16,069
you laid on the floor
like a five-year-old.

63
00:02:16,113 --> 00:02:17,462
[laughs]

64
00:02:17,506 --> 00:02:20,161
It was boring.

65
00:02:21,945 --> 00:02:23,816
Look, I think the problem
is you don't like pranks

66
00:02:23,860 --> 00:02:25,122
because of that little thing
with your sister.

67
00:02:25,166 --> 00:02:27,907
That was not a little thing.[groans]

68
00:02:27,951 --> 00:02:29,170
All right, when
I was seven,

69
00:02:29,213 --> 00:02:31,824
my sister told me that
my room was haunted

70
00:02:31,868 --> 00:02:33,696
by the ghost of a lady
with a hook hand.

71
00:02:33,739 --> 00:02:35,263
Oh.

72
00:02:35,306 --> 00:02:36,829
She lost her wedding ring

73
00:02:36,873 --> 00:02:38,353
'cause it kept sliding
off the hook.

74
00:02:39,745 --> 00:02:42,357
And she would sneak
into my room every night

75
00:02:42,400 --> 00:02:43,749
and search for it.

76
00:02:44,794 --> 00:02:46,796
That's ridiculous.

77
00:02:48,189 --> 00:02:50,800
Who would marry a lady
with a hook hand?ANDI: Okay.

78
00:02:54,195 --> 00:02:57,502
Anyway, then my
sister would come in

79
00:02:57,546 --> 00:02:59,374
while I was sleeping and
open all the drawers,

80
00:02:59,417 --> 00:03:01,941
just like a hook-handed
ghost would do.

81
00:03:03,116 --> 00:03:05,031
And that's why I
used to wet the bed,

82
00:03:05,075 --> 00:03:09,035
not because of some
social issue, Mom.

83
00:03:09,079 --> 00:03:10,254
Yeah, but that's because

84
00:03:10,298 --> 00:03:11,690
your sister did it wrong.

85
00:03:11,734 --> 00:03:13,475
You were too young
for a scary prank.

86
00:03:13,518 --> 00:03:15,128
No one's gonna laugh at that.

87
00:03:15,172 --> 00:03:17,218
Well, you laughed the
first time I told you.

88
00:03:17,261 --> 00:03:20,743
But that... but that's
because you told it funny.

89
00:03:20,786 --> 00:03:22,179
You're a great storyteller.

90
00:03:23,702 --> 00:03:25,095
You know,
back when we were dating,

91
00:03:25,138 --> 00:03:27,445
Don used to fake propose
to me at dinner.

92
00:03:29,317 --> 00:03:31,884
I'd get down on one knee
at the table, and I'd say,

93
00:03:31,928 --> 00:03:34,713
"Darling, will you
spend the rest of...

94
00:03:34,757 --> 00:03:37,194
these nachos with me?""These nachos with me?"

95
00:03:38,543 --> 00:03:40,415
Mom, something's wrong
with my mouth.

96
00:03:40,458 --> 00:03:41,851
[gasps] Oh, my God.

97
00:03:41,894 --> 00:03:43,766
April fools.April fools.

98
00:03:43,809 --> 00:03:45,985
[Don, Teddy and Adam laugh]

99
00:03:47,030 --> 00:03:48,727
Wait, what?

100
00:03:48,771 --> 00:03:49,946
We got you.

101
00:03:49,989 --> 00:03:51,730
That's joke shop toothpaste.

102
00:03:51,774 --> 00:03:53,776
You were right,
her face was funny.

103
00:03:53,819 --> 00:03:57,736
I just thought your teeth were
so surprised to see a toothbrush

104
00:03:57,780 --> 00:03:59,260
that your mouth exploded.

105
00:04:00,826 --> 00:04:04,003
That is a classic. Me and my dad
got my mom with that one.

106
00:04:04,047 --> 00:04:05,309
Oh, so this was your idea.

107
00:04:05,353 --> 00:04:07,442
Hey, this is some beautiful,

108
00:04:07,485 --> 00:04:10,183
intergenerational magic here.

109
00:04:10,227 --> 00:04:13,796
How can you like The Lion King
and not this?

110
00:04:13,839 --> 00:04:16,364
Okay, don't talk about
The Lion Kingto me,

111
00:04:16,407 --> 00:04:19,149
because you, sir,
are no Mufasa.

112
00:04:19,192 --> 00:04:20,803
Okay?

113
00:04:20,846 --> 00:04:22,021
Now, come on, let's go
get you cleaned up.

114
00:04:22,065 --> 00:04:23,196
I'll help.

115
00:04:23,240 --> 00:04:24,676
I'm good at getting blood
out of things.

116
00:04:26,243 --> 00:04:28,158
Don always forgets
how tall he is.

117
00:04:31,161 --> 00:04:32,510
That's a shame,
but it's not your fault

118
00:04:32,554 --> 00:04:35,078
you got the one gal
who wet her bed over pranks.

119
00:04:35,121 --> 00:04:37,689
I think I can turn her around.

120
00:04:37,733 --> 00:04:41,127
I don't know. Once a bed wetter,
always a bed wetter.

121
00:04:41,171 --> 00:04:44,566
No, she hasn't done that
since she was a kid.

122
00:04:44,609 --> 00:04:47,656
A-And one time on an airplane
when I was tickling her.

123
00:04:47,699 --> 00:04:49,092
Hmm. Yeah.

124
00:04:49,135 --> 00:04:51,486
Look, all I'm saying
is we all love pranks, right?

125
00:04:51,529 --> 00:04:53,314
But Andi thinks she doesn't

126
00:04:53,357 --> 00:04:55,141
because her sister
screwed her up.

127
00:04:55,185 --> 00:04:57,056
So I just need to find one
that she thinks is funny,

128
00:04:57,100 --> 00:04:59,798
and she'll see that she's wrong.

129
00:04:59,842 --> 00:05:02,540
Yeah.

130
00:05:02,584 --> 00:05:04,542
If there's one thing
wives love,

131
00:05:04,586 --> 00:05:06,327
it's being taught a lesson.

132
00:05:08,111 --> 00:05:10,113
♪

133
00:05:19,165 --> 00:05:20,558
Look, we got to think
of a fun prank for Andi.

134
00:05:20,602 --> 00:05:23,300
Something lighthearted
to ease her in.

135
00:05:23,344 --> 00:05:25,737
Hmm. She loves animals.

136
00:05:25,781 --> 00:05:28,087
So throw a fish in the tub
with her.

137
00:05:28,131 --> 00:05:29,175
[knock at door]

138
00:05:29,219 --> 00:05:31,134
Uh, no, thanks.

139
00:05:31,177 --> 00:05:32,440
I think I'll stay married.

140
00:05:34,442 --> 00:05:37,183
Joy, Rudy, what's going on?

141
00:05:37,227 --> 00:05:40,099
I'm annoyed. And I was having
a perfectly good day.

142
00:05:40,143 --> 00:05:42,493
Which is rare.Rudy.

143
00:05:42,537 --> 00:05:43,799
And what shows up

144
00:05:43,842 --> 00:05:45,888
in my mailbox
for the third month in a row?

145
00:05:45,931 --> 00:05:48,194
Your redneck racecar magazine.Yeah.

146
00:05:48,238 --> 00:05:49,457
You know,

147
00:05:49,500 --> 00:05:51,067
I am so tired
of walking over here.

148
00:05:51,110 --> 00:05:52,938
Why don't you just change
the address?

149
00:05:52,982 --> 00:05:55,506
Joy, if I did that,
we wouldn't have this.

150
00:05:57,856 --> 00:05:59,684
Now, tell you what, honey,
why don't you run home?

151
00:05:59,728 --> 00:06:01,120
I'll stay here and yell at Adam.

152
00:06:01,164 --> 00:06:04,385
Okay, but don't be
afraid to get personal.

153
00:06:04,428 --> 00:06:06,952
You can start
with that shirt he's wearing.

154
00:06:08,998 --> 00:06:11,479
That is the ugliest shirt
I've ever seen

155
00:06:11,522 --> 00:06:12,958
in my entire life!

156
00:06:13,002 --> 00:06:16,179
She bought me the same shirt
for Christmas.

157
00:06:16,222 --> 00:06:18,573
So how long does she expect you
to yell at me?

158
00:06:18,616 --> 00:06:21,097
I can stretch it out
about 15 minutes.

159
00:06:21,140 --> 00:06:23,229
That is three beers if we focus.
Come with me.

160
00:06:23,273 --> 00:06:25,362
Come on.

161
00:06:25,406 --> 00:06:28,452
Check out Adam's
well-behaved kids.

162
00:06:28,496 --> 00:06:30,759
There's a real Children
of the Cornvibe, huh?

163
00:06:30,802 --> 00:06:32,325
Okay, there's no vibe.

164
00:06:32,369 --> 00:06:35,938
They just respect me
as a parent.

165
00:06:35,981 --> 00:06:37,548
Oh!

166
00:06:37,592 --> 00:06:39,115
[kids laughing]

167
00:06:39,158 --> 00:06:40,508
We got you, Dad.

168
00:06:40,551 --> 00:06:42,335
Oh, you sure did.

169
00:06:42,379 --> 00:06:45,556
I don't know if it's pride
or the beer in my eye,

170
00:06:45,600 --> 00:06:48,341
but I'm tearing up.

171
00:06:48,385 --> 00:06:50,735
Hey, you taught us well.

172
00:06:50,779 --> 00:06:52,824
That was pretty impressive.

173
00:06:52,868 --> 00:06:55,479
I wonder how they knew
which one would be your beer.

174
00:06:56,524 --> 00:06:59,570
[kids laughing]

175
00:06:59,614 --> 00:07:02,094
Okay, I see what they did.

176
00:07:06,185 --> 00:07:08,753
[chuckles] Oh, here she comes.

177
00:07:08,797 --> 00:07:11,495
Hey, kids, how about a snack?

178
00:07:11,539 --> 00:07:13,497
[door opens]

179
00:07:13,541 --> 00:07:15,456
Hey, honey.Hey.

180
00:07:15,499 --> 00:07:17,501
I, uh, just made the kids
some cereal.

181
00:07:19,285 --> 00:07:21,940
[laughing]

182
00:07:25,422 --> 00:07:27,685
See, I froze it.

183
00:07:27,729 --> 00:07:29,731
Your children are disappointed
and confused.

184
00:07:29,774 --> 00:07:32,037
That's fun.

185
00:07:33,125 --> 00:07:34,953
I'm sorry, Adam.

186
00:07:34,997 --> 00:07:37,608
I-I want to love it,
but I just don't.

187
00:07:38,130 --> 00:07:40,176
Kind of like quinoa.

188
00:07:40,219 --> 00:07:41,786
All right.

189
00:07:41,830 --> 00:07:44,354
All right. Uh, here.

190
00:07:44,397 --> 00:07:46,182
How about a cup of tea
as a peace offering.

191
00:07:46,225 --> 00:07:48,880
Huh? Yeah.Aw, that's sweet. Thank you.

192
00:07:50,882 --> 00:07:53,581
[Adam and kids laugh]

193
00:07:53,624 --> 00:07:56,018
Mommy got owned.

194
00:07:57,715 --> 00:07:58,977
See, you thought
you were getting tea,

195
00:07:59,021 --> 00:08:00,544
but it's frozen, too.Yes.

196
00:08:00,588 --> 00:08:01,937
Yes.

197
00:08:01,980 --> 00:08:03,504
Yes, I get it.

198
00:08:03,547 --> 00:08:04,766
You've been home all day

199
00:08:04,809 --> 00:08:06,028
freezing things
your family loves.

200
00:08:06,071 --> 00:08:07,333
[laughs]

201
00:08:07,377 --> 00:08:09,858
Uh, guys, I want to talk
to Daddy for a minute.

202
00:08:14,471 --> 00:08:16,038
I don't hate this.

203
00:08:18,083 --> 00:08:20,825
Okay, maybe you're
not appreciating

204
00:08:20,869 --> 00:08:22,610
the thoughtfulness here.

205
00:08:22,653 --> 00:08:25,787
See, I know that every time you
come home from grocery shopping,

206
00:08:25,830 --> 00:08:27,528
you make yourself tea.

207
00:08:27,571 --> 00:08:28,920
And I also know

208
00:08:28,964 --> 00:08:30,792
that you take the tea bag
out before you drink it.

209
00:08:30,835 --> 00:08:32,881
So if you think about it,

210
00:08:32,924 --> 00:08:35,013
it's like a love letter.

211
00:08:37,059 --> 00:08:39,888
Okay, Adam,
I need you to understand

212
00:08:39,931 --> 00:08:41,759
how I feel about this. Okay?

213
00:08:41,803 --> 00:08:43,631
I hate pranks like...

214
00:08:43,674 --> 00:08:46,416
you hate
country western line dancing.

215
00:08:46,459 --> 00:08:49,898
Ooh, I hate that so much.

216
00:08:49,941 --> 00:08:52,335
I know, which is why
we don't do it

217
00:08:52,378 --> 00:08:53,902
even though
I am never more alive

218
00:08:53,945 --> 00:08:55,294
than when I'm dancing in a line

219
00:08:55,338 --> 00:08:57,253
to a song about whiskey
and mud flaps.

220
00:08:58,384 --> 00:09:00,691
I love it, but I respect
that you don't.

221
00:09:00,735 --> 00:09:02,084
Then let's not talk about it.

222
00:09:02,127 --> 00:09:04,216
I don't even like talking
about it.

223
00:09:04,260 --> 00:09:05,870
But if we're gonna do things

224
00:09:05,914 --> 00:09:07,437
that the other person
doesn't like,

225
00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:09,395
then I don't have to respect
that anymore.

226
00:09:09,439 --> 00:09:10,745
I can go right upstairs

227
00:09:10,788 --> 00:09:12,790
and snap you
into your cowboy shirt.

228
00:09:14,792 --> 00:09:16,446
You wouldn't.

229
00:09:16,489 --> 00:09:19,231
Oh, I would. Yeah.

230
00:09:19,275 --> 00:09:21,451
So please play another prank,

231
00:09:21,494 --> 00:09:25,020
because I really want to go
line dancing.

232
00:09:26,064 --> 00:09:28,589
Geez, you play rough.

233
00:09:30,503 --> 00:09:31,548
ADAM:
Okay, come on, guys.

234
00:09:31,592 --> 00:09:32,897
Grandpa will be here any minute

235
00:09:32,941 --> 00:09:34,116
to take you to school.

236
00:09:34,159 --> 00:09:35,857
Hey, Dad, you really got us good

237
00:09:35,900 --> 00:09:37,554
with that cereal thing.[laughs]

238
00:09:37,598 --> 00:09:39,600
Oh, yeah, we wanted to show you
there were no hard feelings,

239
00:09:39,643 --> 00:09:41,210
so we got you

240
00:09:41,253 --> 00:09:43,821
this million-dollar
lottery scratcher.

241
00:09:45,649 --> 00:09:47,433
Good luck, Daddy.

242
00:09:47,477 --> 00:09:50,349
Guys, come on. Huh?

243
00:09:50,393 --> 00:09:52,569
You don't give someone
who doesn't even do scratchers

244
00:09:52,613 --> 00:09:55,659
a scratcher
in the middle of a prank war.

245
00:09:55,703 --> 00:09:58,662
I know this is one
of those fake winners.

246
00:09:58,706 --> 00:10:00,446
Huh? [clicks tongue]

247
00:10:00,490 --> 00:10:02,971
Dang it. You're too good.

248
00:10:03,014 --> 00:10:05,626
Well, I didn't want to say it,
but I'm glad you did.

249
00:10:05,669 --> 00:10:06,627
[door opens]

250
00:10:06,670 --> 00:10:08,063
All right, let's go.

251
00:10:08,106 --> 00:10:10,239
All right, thanks
for taking the kids to school.

252
00:10:10,282 --> 00:10:11,762
Oh, you're my boy.

253
00:10:11,806 --> 00:10:14,547
There's nothing
I wouldn't do for you.

254
00:10:16,724 --> 00:10:19,509
[chuckles] Nice try, Dad.

255
00:10:19,552 --> 00:10:21,816
"Danger: gas leak." Boy.

256
00:10:21,859 --> 00:10:24,166
If that isn't the pot
calling the kettle black.

257
00:10:24,209 --> 00:10:26,081
Well, I had
to give it a shot.

258
00:10:26,124 --> 00:10:29,432
I mean, we're the Burns family.
We've been accusing each other

259
00:10:29,475 --> 00:10:31,695
of gas leaks
since the Pilgrims came over.

260
00:10:31,739 --> 00:10:32,870
You've got

261
00:10:32,914 --> 00:10:34,959
to get up pretty
early to out-prank me.

262
00:10:35,003 --> 00:10:36,700
All right,
have a good day, kids.

263
00:10:39,747 --> 00:10:42,880
[laughing]

264
00:10:42,924 --> 00:10:45,404
You got to get up
really early to out-prank me.

265
00:10:45,448 --> 00:10:48,973
Seriously,
I can't sleep past 4:00 a.m.

266
00:10:49,017 --> 00:10:52,455
Old age-- that's God's prank.

267
00:10:57,590 --> 00:10:59,767
Man, I was just
at the bank,

268
00:10:59,810 --> 00:11:01,899
and everyone was
smiling at me.

269
00:11:01,943 --> 00:11:04,423
I think people
are getting nicer.

270
00:11:04,467 --> 00:11:06,425
Well, no.

271
00:11:06,469 --> 00:11:08,558
Try cutting out dairy.
That worked for me.

272
00:11:08,601 --> 00:11:11,343
Oh. Dad distracted me
with the first sign

273
00:11:11,387 --> 00:11:13,302
so I'd fall for this one.

274
00:11:13,345 --> 00:11:15,652
Yesterday he put a bouillon cube
in my shower head.

275
00:11:15,696 --> 00:11:17,610
I tried to cover up
the soup smell with cologne,

276
00:11:17,654 --> 00:11:19,787
but I just smelled
like a chicken going on a date.

277
00:11:19,830 --> 00:11:22,006
So the old man
got both of us.

278
00:11:22,050 --> 00:11:23,921
You know, he can put
all this together,

279
00:11:23,965 --> 00:11:26,968
but he can't remember
where he parked at the mall.

280
00:11:27,011 --> 00:11:29,448
I know Andi said no more pranks,
but we got to get him back.

281
00:11:29,492 --> 00:11:32,800
I can help. I'm quite the
mischievous prank artist myself.

282
00:11:32,843 --> 00:11:35,150
I once switched my wife's lotion

283
00:11:35,193 --> 00:11:37,108
from lavender to violet.

284
00:11:37,152 --> 00:11:38,762
Get out.
Yeah.

285
00:11:38,806 --> 00:11:40,590
Had she noticed the difference,

286
00:11:40,633 --> 00:11:43,593
it would have been pretty wild.

287
00:11:43,636 --> 00:11:45,769
Sure. Yeah. You know,

288
00:11:45,813 --> 00:11:47,771
Dad loves scratchers,

289
00:11:47,815 --> 00:11:50,208
and my kids tried to give me
a fake winner this morning.

290
00:11:50,252 --> 00:11:53,472
Oh, that's good.
He's got a bunch lying around.

291
00:11:53,516 --> 00:11:56,780
We can slip the fake one into
the pile and wait for the fun.Okay, great.

292
00:11:56,824 --> 00:11:59,174
So after work, we'll grab it
and then head over to his place.

293
00:11:59,217 --> 00:12:01,219
This is so weird.

294
00:12:01,263 --> 00:12:04,701
I remember leaving that lottery
scratcher right here.

295
00:12:04,745 --> 00:12:06,790
Hey, honey.Hey.

296
00:12:06,834 --> 00:12:08,836
I have to tell you,
it is really nice

297
00:12:08,879 --> 00:12:10,881
to be in a
prank-free house.
Oh.

298
00:12:10,925 --> 00:12:12,709
So thank you for
respecting how I feel.

299
00:12:12,753 --> 00:12:16,321
Ah.I'd thank you in a handsier
way, but your brother's here.

300
00:12:17,932 --> 00:12:19,585
I could turn around.

301
00:12:21,805 --> 00:12:23,372
Oh, I'm not falling
for that again.

302
00:12:23,415 --> 00:12:25,591
Hey, uh, did you

303
00:12:25,635 --> 00:12:27,942
by any chance see a lottery
scratcher lying around?

304
00:12:27,985 --> 00:12:29,944
Oh, yeah. I gave it to Joy.

305
00:12:32,903 --> 00:12:34,905
What?

306
00:12:34,949 --> 00:12:36,733
Yeah, well, I got her a card to
apologize for your magazines,

307
00:12:36,777 --> 00:12:39,083
and I... you know, I put it
in as a token of good will.

308
00:12:39,127 --> 00:12:40,781
I just dropped
it in her mailbox.

309
00:12:40,824 --> 00:12:44,697
That is so thoughtful.

310
00:12:44,741 --> 00:12:48,179
Well, it just feels good
to do good, you know?

311
00:12:48,223 --> 00:12:49,615
Yeah.

312
00:12:49,659 --> 00:12:51,139
Good. [laughs]

313
00:12:51,182 --> 00:12:52,967
This is notgood.
No.

314
00:12:53,010 --> 00:12:54,882
The only reason that
scratcher was here

315
00:12:54,925 --> 00:12:56,797
was because I
started a prank war.

316
00:12:56,840 --> 00:12:58,320
If Andi finds
out about this,

317
00:12:58,363 --> 00:13:00,975
she'll be so mad, she'll
make me put on chaps.

318
00:13:01,018 --> 00:13:05,849
Okay. I don't need to hear how
you guys work your stuff out.

319
00:13:05,893 --> 00:13:07,851
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.

320
00:13:07,895 --> 00:13:10,201
Andi just put it in
Joy's mailbox, right?

321
00:13:10,245 --> 00:13:12,116
Yeah.So all we got to do is
get it out of the mailbox

322
00:13:12,160 --> 00:13:13,683
before Joy sees it,
and we're home free.

323
00:13:13,726 --> 00:13:15,554
Now you're thinking.Yeah.

324
00:13:15,598 --> 00:13:17,556
That means no yelling,
no stupid line dancing.

325
00:13:17,600 --> 00:13:19,645
I mean, if I'm dancing,
I do my own thing.

326
00:13:19,689 --> 00:13:21,473
I go where my
hips lead me.

327
00:13:21,517 --> 00:13:23,432
You know what I mean?

328
00:13:23,475 --> 00:13:25,826
One for you, one for you,
one for you, one for you.

329
00:13:32,136 --> 00:13:34,312
All right, let's just get the
scratcher out of the mailbox

330
00:13:34,356 --> 00:13:37,054
before Joy finds it.

331
00:13:37,098 --> 00:13:38,926
Is it in there?Yeah, yeah, I see
it at the bottom.

332
00:13:38,969 --> 00:13:40,623
All right, reach in.

333
00:13:40,666 --> 00:13:42,755
I'd do it, but my hands are
too big. You have dainty hands.

334
00:13:42,799 --> 00:13:45,280
I don't have dainty hands.

335
00:13:45,323 --> 00:13:47,543
I'm normal-sized. You're
the one who looks like

336
00:13:47,586 --> 00:13:50,198
he should be swatting
airplanes out of the sky.

337
00:13:54,376 --> 00:13:55,899
Okay, I feel
the card, okay?

338
00:13:55,943 --> 00:13:58,815
It's coming. It's coming.

339
00:13:58,859 --> 00:14:01,165
And my hand's stuck.
My hand's stuck!All right. All right.

340
00:14:01,209 --> 00:14:03,167
Don't panic.
We're two intelligent adults.

341
00:14:03,211 --> 00:14:04,908
I have an idea.

342
00:14:04,952 --> 00:14:06,040
What? Ow!

343
00:14:06,083 --> 00:14:07,780
Ow!

344
00:14:07,824 --> 00:14:08,956
Okay, that did not work.

345
00:14:08,999 --> 00:14:10,783
Cross it off the list.
Okay.

346
00:14:10,827 --> 00:14:13,612
Let's just unbolt the whole
thing, bring it to my house, and

347
00:14:13,656 --> 00:14:15,658
we'll take it apart.
Grab my Leatherman.

348
00:14:15,701 --> 00:14:17,790
It's in my back pocket.
I can't reach it.
Well, no.

349
00:14:17,834 --> 00:14:20,054
I'm not touching your butt.
This is a family neighborhood.

350
00:14:20,097 --> 00:14:21,403
Will you please?!

351
00:14:21,446 --> 00:14:23,971
I got my hand stuck
in a mailbox here.
Right.

352
00:14:26,016 --> 00:14:28,889
Don't flex it.
You're making the pocket tight.

353
00:14:28,932 --> 00:14:31,456
Just relax and let it happen.

354
00:14:34,459 --> 00:14:36,984
[grunts]

355
00:14:41,118 --> 00:14:43,512
What are you doing
with mymailbox?

356
00:14:43,555 --> 00:14:46,515
I figured, this way,
if Joy sees hers is missing,

357
00:14:46,558 --> 00:14:49,170
you can say there's
a mailbox thief on the loose.

358
00:14:49,213 --> 00:14:51,172
You know what?
Don't freelance.

359
00:14:51,215 --> 00:14:53,652
Aha! I got it. What?

360
00:14:53,696 --> 00:14:55,828
Wait. This isn't Andi's
thank you note.

361
00:14:55,872 --> 00:14:58,309
It's a renewal card
from my magazine.

362
00:14:58,353 --> 00:15:00,964
Oh. That means Joy
already has the scratcher.

363
00:15:01,008 --> 00:15:03,097
[sighs]
I told you this
wouldn't work.

364
00:15:03,140 --> 00:15:05,534
You never said that.

365
00:15:05,577 --> 00:15:06,883
Now I got to go in there
and come clean with Andi

366
00:15:06,927 --> 00:15:09,277
before Joy thinks
she won a million dollars.

367
00:15:09,320 --> 00:15:11,279
Come on. Let me
do the talking.

368
00:15:11,322 --> 00:15:13,281
Bringing the mailbox, right?No! No!

369
00:15:13,324 --> 00:15:15,892
Put that down.

370
00:15:15,936 --> 00:15:17,720
Andi. Oh, oh, oh.

371
00:15:17,763 --> 00:15:19,461
Oh, good. Everyone's here.

372
00:15:19,504 --> 00:15:22,377
Adam, we're rich!

373
00:15:22,420 --> 00:15:25,989
Great. I'm so happy for you, I
need to be alone. Come on, Don.

374
00:15:26,033 --> 00:15:28,078
Wait. No. Wait, wait, wait.
Honey,

375
00:15:28,122 --> 00:15:29,819
you are not gonna believe this.

376
00:15:29,862 --> 00:15:31,473
Okay, you know that scratcher
I gave Joy?

377
00:15:31,516 --> 00:15:33,083
Never heard of it.
This is all new to me.

378
00:15:33,127 --> 00:15:35,042
I don't know about
Adam, though.

379
00:15:35,085 --> 00:15:37,044
We won a million bucks!

380
00:15:37,087 --> 00:15:40,830
Yeah. I bought a boat.

381
00:15:40,873 --> 00:15:43,528
It's so big, it's got a
little boat attached to it.

382
00:15:43,572 --> 00:15:44,965
And I...

383
00:15:45,008 --> 00:15:46,227
I quit my job.

384
00:15:46,270 --> 00:15:48,011
I said all kinds of
things to my boss.

385
00:15:48,055 --> 00:15:50,883
Religious, I got
a little racial.

386
00:15:50,927 --> 00:15:53,016
I burned bridges!

387
00:15:53,060 --> 00:15:55,105
Oh. Oh, that's good to hear.

388
00:15:55,149 --> 00:15:57,934
Can I... can I talk to you
for a second?

389
00:15:57,978 --> 00:15:59,022
What's going on?

390
00:15:59,066 --> 00:16:01,633
Joy and Rudy won
a million dollars!

391
00:16:01,677 --> 00:16:04,288
[overlapping chatter]

392
00:16:04,332 --> 00:16:06,116
This is gonna
change our life.

393
00:16:06,160 --> 00:16:08,205
We can move out of this
crappy neighborhood.

394
00:16:08,249 --> 00:16:09,728
RUDY:
Yeah.

395
00:16:09,772 --> 00:16:11,643
Yeah, somebody stole
our mailbox.

396
00:16:11,687 --> 00:16:14,864
And since you gave us
this scratcher,

397
00:16:14,907 --> 00:16:17,998
we want to give you
$100,000 of it.

398
00:16:18,041 --> 00:16:20,000
What?! [gasps]

399
00:16:20,043 --> 00:16:23,829
$100,000?
We're millionaires!

400
00:16:23,873 --> 00:16:26,049
Uh, Andi, I need
to talk to you.

401
00:16:26,093 --> 00:16:28,225
I-I-I... I really need
to talk to you right now.

402
00:16:28,269 --> 00:16:30,532
Oh.

403
00:16:30,575 --> 00:16:33,056
So, about this mailbox thief--
I was at the movies all day.

404
00:16:34,884 --> 00:16:37,669
What's going on?Joy's scratcher is a fake.

405
00:16:37,713 --> 00:16:39,236
What?!
Shh!

406
00:16:40,933 --> 00:16:43,458
Talking loud defeats the whole
purpose of coming over here!

407
00:16:47,114 --> 00:16:51,031
Joy's scratcher was a prank.
You got to help me.

408
00:16:51,074 --> 00:16:52,858
This will devastate Joy and
Rudy, and it's all your fault.

409
00:16:52,902 --> 00:16:54,077
Why should I help you?

410
00:16:54,121 --> 00:16:56,036
Because if Joy kills me,

411
00:16:56,079 --> 00:16:57,820
you're gonna have to raise
our children by yourself,

412
00:16:57,863 --> 00:17:00,475
and that will be exhausting!

413
00:17:00,518 --> 00:17:02,216
Adam.
Well, okay.

414
00:17:02,259 --> 00:17:04,305
You were right, okay?
I screwed up.

415
00:17:04,348 --> 00:17:07,003
I should have listened to you.
Pranks aren't fun.

416
00:17:07,047 --> 00:17:10,963
But if you please help me out
here, I will never do one again.

417
00:17:11,007 --> 00:17:12,965
Good.
Okay.

418
00:17:13,009 --> 00:17:15,838
Because April fools. [laughs]

419
00:17:18,406 --> 00:17:20,364
ALL:
April fools!

420
00:17:29,156 --> 00:17:31,114
This was all a prank?
You pranked me?

421
00:17:31,158 --> 00:17:33,725
And me.

422
00:17:33,769 --> 00:17:35,901
I-I think?

423
00:17:35,945 --> 00:17:37,903
I don't really
know what's going on.

424
00:17:37,947 --> 00:17:39,383
So I knew

425
00:17:39,427 --> 00:17:40,993
you couldn't quit
on your own,

426
00:17:41,037 --> 00:17:42,995
so I had the kids
bring you the scratcher.

427
00:17:43,039 --> 00:17:44,388
Which we knew
you wouldn't fall for.

428
00:17:44,432 --> 00:17:45,955
And because
you never put anything

429
00:17:45,998 --> 00:17:47,130
in the actual garbage can,

430
00:17:47,174 --> 00:17:48,827
I knew you'd leave it
lying around.

431
00:17:48,871 --> 00:17:50,568
So we told Mom
where you left it.

432
00:17:50,612 --> 00:17:53,005
And then I grabbed it, and
told you that I gave it to Joy.

433
00:17:53,049 --> 00:17:56,400
See, I used all the things
that I know about you, so,

434
00:17:56,444 --> 00:17:59,011
if you think about it...

435
00:18:01,449 --> 00:18:04,104
...it's like a love letter.

436
00:18:05,148 --> 00:18:08,934
[laughs, mutters]

437
00:18:10,936 --> 00:18:13,113
Okay, this is the last of it.
Fake toothpaste.

438
00:18:14,766 --> 00:18:17,900
Oh. Bug in the ice cube.
[laughing]: Oh.

439
00:18:17,943 --> 00:18:22,122
Aw. And this one hurts--
snakes in a can.

440
00:18:23,166 --> 00:18:25,603
Oh.

441
00:18:25,647 --> 00:18:27,736
Hey, well, I'm proud of you,

442
00:18:27,779 --> 00:18:32,393
but I still don't get why
you like this stuff so much.

443
00:18:32,436 --> 00:18:34,308
And don't say it's
because it's fun.

444
00:18:34,351 --> 00:18:37,485
Look, it's just a thing I always
loved doing with my dad.

445
00:18:37,528 --> 00:18:40,140
Most of the time
if he was talking to me,

446
00:18:40,183 --> 00:18:41,663
he was mad about something,

447
00:18:41,706 --> 00:18:44,709
but when we were doing pranks,
we were laughing.

448
00:18:44,753 --> 00:18:49,932
And when he'd put pudding
in my baseball glove,

449
00:18:49,975 --> 00:18:52,935
yeah, it was funny,
but it also meant

450
00:18:52,978 --> 00:18:55,067
that he knew I liked baseball.

451
00:18:55,111 --> 00:18:57,113
And pudding.

452
00:18:58,506 --> 00:19:00,421
Yeah, I was husky
for a while.
Mm.

453
00:19:00,464 --> 00:19:04,381
So in a way, it's how he
told you that he loved you.

454
00:19:04,425 --> 00:19:06,035
[gasps]

455
00:19:06,078 --> 00:19:08,255
I knew it was deep! Ha!

456
00:19:10,082 --> 00:19:13,608
The self-help aisle
is making a comeback!

457
00:19:13,651 --> 00:19:16,263
All right, all right.
Nobody likes a touchdown dance.

458
00:19:17,612 --> 00:19:20,223
Well, I know that you
love me and the kids

459
00:19:20,267 --> 00:19:23,400
because you say it
all the time, okay?

460
00:19:23,444 --> 00:19:25,794
So please don't show it
with pranks anymore.

461
00:19:25,837 --> 00:19:28,100
All right, you got it.
It's all in the trash now.

462
00:19:28,144 --> 00:19:31,060
Okay, good. All right, well, I'm
gonna make us a cup of tea...

463
00:19:31,103 --> 00:19:32,844
Mm.
...now that I know
it's safe again.

464
00:19:49,252 --> 00:19:51,689
[laughs]

465
00:19:53,169 --> 00:19:56,041
I f... I forgot about that one.

466
00:19:58,087 --> 00:20:01,612
[laughing]:
I put a rubber band
on the sprayer.

467
00:20:04,093 --> 00:20:05,442
I'll just go find my cowboy hat.

468
00:20:15,496 --> 00:20:18,455
Adam, we're gonna
be late. Come on!

469
00:20:23,460 --> 00:20:25,157
[laughter]

470
00:20:27,986 --> 00:20:31,120
I did that.
I dressed him.

471
00:20:32,339 --> 00:20:35,646
You look like Roy Rogers' wife.[laughter]

472
00:20:35,690 --> 00:20:37,300
You told me
nobody would be here.

473
00:20:37,344 --> 00:20:40,172
Huh. I guess I do like pranks.

474
00:20:41,783 --> 00:20:42,914
Come on, let's go.

475
00:20:44,176 --> 00:20:47,223
Just relax and let it happen.

476
00:20:47,267 --> 00:20:48,964
Captioning sponsored by
CBS

477
00:20:53,360 --> 00:20:57,364
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org