1
00:00:02,458 --> 00:00:05,200
♪ The night is right

2
00:00:05,243 --> 00:00:08,116
♪ For making love

3
00:00:09,204 --> 00:00:11,423
♪ To you.

4
00:00:12,511 --> 00:00:15,123
Old Spice, my secret weapon.

5
00:00:18,213 --> 00:00:19,649
Oh-ho-ho.

6
00:00:19,692 --> 00:00:21,694
She's a lucky lady.

7
00:00:21,738 --> 00:00:26,351
Andi, prepare yourself
for some good old-fashioned...

8
00:00:26,395 --> 00:00:27,483
Teddy.

9
00:00:29,528 --> 00:00:32,314
Surprise, he's
in our bed again.

10
00:00:32,357 --> 00:00:34,533
I see that and I love it.

11
00:00:34,577 --> 00:00:37,014
But, uh...

12
00:00:37,058 --> 00:00:39,451
buddy, you've been sleeping
in here for two weeks.

13
00:00:39,495 --> 00:00:41,279
Made your own little dent
in the mattress.

14
00:00:42,628 --> 00:00:45,022
Well, he can't
sleep on his own

15
00:00:45,066 --> 00:00:47,851
because somebody let him
watch Nightmare on Elm Street.

16
00:00:49,331 --> 00:00:50,984
Okay, look, I know
we talked about this,

17
00:00:51,028 --> 00:00:52,334
but I am still not convinced

18
00:00:52,377 --> 00:00:53,944
that's why he can't
sleep by himself.

19
00:00:53,987 --> 00:00:55,815
Hmm.

20
00:00:55,859 --> 00:00:57,556
What else could have
happened two weeks ago

21
00:00:57,600 --> 00:00:59,167
to scare the bejesus
out of Teddy?

22
00:01:00,733 --> 00:01:05,129
I switched to two percent
milk, that's pretty spooky.

23
00:01:05,173 --> 00:01:06,696
No, it was the movie.

24
00:01:06,739 --> 00:01:09,046
Okay.Honey, don't
worry about it.

25
00:01:09,090 --> 00:01:10,917
Go get your pillow.

26
00:01:12,919 --> 00:01:15,487
I estimate we have
30 seconds, okay?

27
00:01:15,531 --> 00:01:17,315
Unless he brushes his teeth.

28
00:01:17,359 --> 00:01:18,490
Ted-Teddy!

29
00:01:18,534 --> 00:01:20,362
Brush your teeth!

30
00:01:20,405 --> 00:01:22,233
Okay, we have
35 seconds.

31
00:01:22,277 --> 00:01:23,669
It's not a race.

32
00:01:23,713 --> 00:01:25,932
Well, it can be.
It's been two weeks!

33
00:01:25,976 --> 00:01:27,369
Okay, listen.

34
00:01:27,412 --> 00:01:29,719
No, no, no,
listen, listen.

35
00:01:29,762 --> 00:01:31,373
I said he was too
young for that movie

36
00:01:31,416 --> 00:01:32,765
but you went rogue.

37
00:01:32,809 --> 00:01:33,897
Yeah.

38
00:01:33,940 --> 00:01:36,029
You made your bed and now

39
00:01:36,073 --> 00:01:37,901
we all get to lie in it.

40
00:01:37,944 --> 00:01:39,598
With Teddy.

41
00:01:40,904 --> 00:01:43,559
Wait, wait, wait, we
still have ten seconds.

42
00:01:43,602 --> 00:01:45,169
We can make this happen.

43
00:01:45,213 --> 00:01:46,910
If you follow my instructions
very carefully...

44
00:01:50,566 --> 00:01:53,134
What a waste
of Old Spice.

45
00:02:00,967 --> 00:02:04,710
What is wrong with this... bag?

46
00:02:04,754 --> 00:02:07,670
Why won't it open?

47
00:02:07,713 --> 00:02:09,672
Why don't bags open anymore?

48
00:02:10,847 --> 00:02:13,763
This bag is broken.

49
00:02:13,806 --> 00:02:15,068
Adam.

50
00:02:18,159 --> 00:02:20,161
You seem troubled.

51
00:02:20,204 --> 00:02:24,165
I'm fine, it's... it's private.

52
00:02:24,208 --> 00:02:26,341
Yeah, stay out
of the man's business.

53
00:02:26,384 --> 00:02:29,474
He hasn't made love
to his wife in 15 days.

54
00:02:29,518 --> 00:02:32,216
That's not true.
How do you know that?

55
00:02:32,260 --> 00:02:34,000
Marcy told me.

56
00:02:34,044 --> 00:02:36,829
After we made love.

57
00:02:38,657 --> 00:02:41,660
We have a heck
of a streak going.

58
00:02:41,704 --> 00:02:44,837
And I'll tell you,
the sky looks a little bluer.

59
00:02:46,230 --> 00:02:48,145
Well, since
it's public information...

60
00:02:48,189 --> 00:02:50,974
I let Teddy watch
a scary movie

61
00:02:51,017 --> 00:02:53,194
and he's been in
our bed ever since.

62
00:02:53,237 --> 00:02:55,979
Now I'm starring in my own
horror movie and it's rated G.

63
00:02:57,633 --> 00:02:59,591
I haven't had
intimate relations

64
00:02:59,635 --> 00:03:01,463
since Jen and I split up.

65
00:03:01,506 --> 00:03:03,291
But I'm not complaining,
I have new interests.

66
00:03:03,334 --> 00:03:05,641
I'm learning Mandarin.

67
00:03:05,684 --> 00:03:07,773
That means,
"I'm lonely."

68
00:03:10,776 --> 00:03:13,910
Let's just keep our bedroom
problems to ourselves, okay?

69
00:03:13,953 --> 00:03:17,653
I don't need anyone else
knowing my private business.

70
00:03:17,696 --> 00:03:20,177
Your mother tells me
you're in a slump, son.

71
00:03:23,049 --> 00:03:24,616
Mom knows?

72
00:03:24,660 --> 00:03:26,662
Well, my guess is you're
overthinking things.

73
00:03:26,705 --> 00:03:28,011
Just relax, boy.

74
00:03:28,054 --> 00:03:30,535
See the ball,
hit the ball.

75
00:03:31,667 --> 00:03:33,669
It's not a slump.
It's a drought.

76
00:03:33,712 --> 00:03:36,106
My swing is just fine.

77
00:03:36,149 --> 00:03:38,848
You say "tomato," I say
you're not getting any.

78
00:03:42,982 --> 00:03:45,942
Look, the problem's
not me and Andi.

79
00:03:45,985 --> 00:03:48,684
It's all the little people
that live with us.

80
00:03:48,727 --> 00:03:50,990
One of life's cruel jokes:

81
00:03:51,034 --> 00:03:52,818
the more kids you have,
the less time there is

82
00:03:52,862 --> 00:03:54,690
to do the thing
that makes kids.

83
00:03:56,082 --> 00:03:58,346
Well, you know
what you should do?

84
00:03:58,389 --> 00:03:59,608
Take Andi to a hotel.

85
00:03:59,651 --> 00:04:01,523
No kids, a little romance.

86
00:04:01,566 --> 00:04:03,220
That's actually
a great idea.

87
00:04:03,264 --> 00:04:04,700
Andi loves hotels.

88
00:04:04,743 --> 00:04:06,745
It reminds her of our honeymoon,
when she was already

89
00:04:06,789 --> 00:04:08,704
in a good mood,
'cause she got me.

90
00:04:08,747 --> 00:04:11,315
Hey, Dad, can you
watch the kids?
Sure.

91
00:04:11,359 --> 00:04:13,448
I love having my little
beer grabbers around.

92
00:04:15,841 --> 00:04:19,062
How come you never ask me
or Marcy to watch the kids?

93
00:04:19,105 --> 00:04:20,933
Where are your keys right now?

94
00:04:22,935 --> 00:04:24,372
That's why.

95
00:04:24,415 --> 00:04:26,896
Come on, I'm serious.

96
00:04:26,939 --> 00:04:28,245
You never even consider us.

97
00:04:28,289 --> 00:04:29,290
I love those kids.

98
00:04:29,333 --> 00:04:31,640
Well, that's nice
to hear, Don.

99
00:04:32,945 --> 00:04:34,904
And since Dad just called them
"little beer grabbers,"

100
00:04:34,947 --> 00:04:36,122
I guess you win.

101
00:04:37,776 --> 00:04:39,212
That's all right.

102
00:04:39,256 --> 00:04:41,606
I still have your mother,
the original beer grabber.

103
00:04:44,870 --> 00:04:48,613
How would you like
to be whisked... away

104
00:04:48,657 --> 00:04:51,399
by your loving husband
to a hotel room

105
00:04:51,442 --> 00:04:55,403
complete with...
a loving husband?

106
00:04:55,446 --> 00:04:58,406
You're so sweet.Hmm? Yeah.

107
00:04:58,449 --> 00:05:01,278
But we can't.
What? Why?

108
00:05:01,322 --> 00:05:02,932
Well, hotels cost money.

109
00:05:02,975 --> 00:05:05,543
Until we sell that flip house,
we are carrying two mortgages.

110
00:05:05,587 --> 00:05:06,849
I already thought of that.

111
00:05:06,892 --> 00:05:09,504
I have a gift card.

112
00:05:11,201 --> 00:05:12,507
Don't worry, baby.

113
00:05:12,550 --> 00:05:14,509
I won't spend
a dime on you.
Aw.

114
00:05:16,598 --> 00:05:19,296
Wait, this is the hotel
that gave us a free night

115
00:05:19,340 --> 00:05:20,515
'cause they had bedbugs.

116
00:05:20,558 --> 00:05:21,951
Mm.

117
00:05:21,994 --> 00:05:23,387
You saw one,

118
00:05:23,431 --> 00:05:24,997
and freaked out and the
next thing I knew,

119
00:05:25,041 --> 00:05:26,390
you were in the
glass elevator naked,

120
00:05:26,434 --> 00:05:27,609
riding down to the lobby.

121
00:05:29,611 --> 00:05:31,874
I had my underwear.

122
00:05:31,917 --> 00:05:33,963
In your hand.

123
00:05:35,051 --> 00:05:37,009
And I apologized
to that wedding.

124
00:05:37,053 --> 00:05:39,229
But the hotel
just reopened,

125
00:05:39,272 --> 00:05:41,362
so it'll never be cleaner.

126
00:05:41,405 --> 00:05:42,667
Just like when
a restaurant reopens

127
00:05:42,711 --> 00:05:44,234
after a rat problem-- ooh.

128
00:05:44,277 --> 00:05:46,932
By the way, I have a gift card
for dinner, too.

129
00:05:59,292 --> 00:06:01,251
So, your dad and I
have to go away for a night.

130
00:06:01,294 --> 00:06:02,644
Oh, what for?

131
00:06:02,687 --> 00:06:06,169
We got to take care
of a little business.

132
00:06:06,212 --> 00:06:07,431
What kind of business?

133
00:06:07,475 --> 00:06:09,433
None of your
business business.

134
00:06:09,477 --> 00:06:12,131
So, you, Teddy and Emme
are gonna be staying

135
00:06:12,175 --> 00:06:13,394
with Uncle Don
and Aunt Marcy.

136
00:06:13,437 --> 00:06:15,483
Or...

137
00:06:15,526 --> 00:06:16,832
I think I'm old enough now

138
00:06:16,875 --> 00:06:19,182
to stay home by myself
for one night.

139
00:06:19,225 --> 00:06:20,488
What do you say?

140
00:06:20,531 --> 00:06:21,750
Okay.
No.

141
00:06:23,578 --> 00:06:24,883
BOTH:
Pantry.

142
00:06:27,016 --> 00:06:29,018
Okay.

143
00:06:29,061 --> 00:06:30,976
We are not leaving
Katie here by herself;

144
00:06:31,020 --> 00:06:32,325
she can't be trusted.

145
00:06:32,369 --> 00:06:34,023
She's got our DNA.

146
00:06:34,066 --> 00:06:37,461
Our beer-chugging,
mechanical bull-riding DNA.

147
00:06:37,505 --> 00:06:40,508
She gets good grades,
she's responsible,

148
00:06:40,551 --> 00:06:42,161
she's a good girl.

149
00:06:42,205 --> 00:06:44,642
We had a golden retriever
growing up that was a good girl.

150
00:06:44,686 --> 00:06:46,905
You know what she did
every time we left her alone?

151
00:06:46,949 --> 00:06:48,341
Jumped the fence
and got pregnant.

152
00:06:48,385 --> 00:06:51,519
She's having a tough time
at school, all right?

153
00:06:51,562 --> 00:06:53,085
Her best friend moved away.

154
00:06:53,129 --> 00:06:55,348
She hasn't found
a new social circle yet.

155
00:06:55,392 --> 00:06:57,916
Look, she wants this; let's
just do something nice for her.

156
00:06:57,960 --> 00:07:01,267
We give her food and clothes
every single day.

157
00:07:02,660 --> 00:07:05,968
All right, let me ask you this:
what do you want more?

158
00:07:06,011 --> 00:07:09,232
To win this Kate thing,
or hotel sex?

159
00:07:09,275 --> 00:07:12,235
I vote for hotel sex.
I'm a single-issue voter, okay?

160
00:07:12,278 --> 00:07:15,194
Katie, great news.

161
00:07:16,674 --> 00:07:18,328
Okay, so Teddy and Emme
are at Uncle Don's...

162
00:07:18,371 --> 00:07:19,721
Okay, everyone knows
where everyone is.

163
00:07:19,764 --> 00:07:21,549
Blow some kisses.
No time to waste.

164
00:07:21,592 --> 00:07:24,247
Uh, hey.

165
00:07:24,290 --> 00:07:26,510
Would it be okay if I invited
Shelby and Winslow over?

166
00:07:26,554 --> 00:07:29,818
The two old guys
from The Muppets?

167
00:07:29,861 --> 00:07:32,908
No. They're girls
from my Spanish class.

168
00:07:32,951 --> 00:07:34,953
But I'm thinking I might
get to know them better

169
00:07:34,997 --> 00:07:35,998
if we hang out.

170
00:07:38,130 --> 00:07:40,176
You-you can
hang out tomorrow, okay?

171
00:07:40,219 --> 00:07:41,699
Nobody but you here tonight.

172
00:07:41,743 --> 00:07:43,440
You invite someone over,
they invite more people.

173
00:07:43,484 --> 00:07:46,661
Next thing you know, I got
Burning Man in my living room.

174
00:07:46,704 --> 00:07:48,793
You in the house, just you.

175
00:07:48,837 --> 00:07:50,665
Sitting around, doing nothing.

176
00:07:50,708 --> 00:07:52,449
Have fun. I love you.

177
00:07:55,104 --> 00:07:56,366
Honey,

178
00:07:56,409 --> 00:07:57,889
just between you and me,

179
00:07:57,933 --> 00:08:00,022
go ahead and have
those girls over.

180
00:08:00,065 --> 00:08:02,067
But Dad just said...Don't worry about Dad.

181
00:08:02,111 --> 00:08:03,547
He's got other things
on his mind.

182
00:08:05,636 --> 00:08:07,377
Come on.

183
00:08:07,420 --> 00:08:09,640
Would you please come on?
I've got ideas.
Okay.

184
00:08:21,652 --> 00:08:23,480
Howdy, cowboy.

185
00:08:23,524 --> 00:08:26,570
Ooh, Old West prostitute.
I like it.

186
00:08:26,614 --> 00:08:29,051
No, no, I'm a pioneer woman.

187
00:08:29,094 --> 00:08:32,445
Yeah, farming the land
to feed our 12 children.

188
00:08:32,489 --> 00:08:34,578
Let's just be ourselves.

189
00:08:34,622 --> 00:08:36,580
It's been 15 days.
It'll seem new.

190
00:08:36,624 --> 00:08:39,235
Later, we should
raid those minibar snacks.

191
00:08:39,278 --> 00:08:40,453
They're complimentary.

192
00:08:40,497 --> 00:08:42,238
Well, if we do this thing right,

193
00:08:42,281 --> 00:08:44,414
you won't be awake
for minibar snacks.

194
00:08:44,457 --> 00:08:46,068
Mm-hmm.

195
00:08:53,205 --> 00:08:54,424
What is it?

196
00:08:56,382 --> 00:08:57,819
I started thinking about
those bedbugs.Oh...

197
00:08:59,037 --> 00:09:00,778
I think this might be
the same room

198
00:09:00,822 --> 00:09:02,345
that we had last time.

199
00:09:02,388 --> 00:09:04,390
It's got the same floor plan:
bed, window, TV.

200
00:09:04,434 --> 00:09:08,351
It's a hotel room.
They all have that floor plan.

201
00:09:08,394 --> 00:09:10,832
Right. Right.

202
00:09:14,618 --> 00:09:17,882
It-It's like I can
feel bugs on me.

203
00:09:19,275 --> 00:09:20,842
Those things drink blood.

204
00:09:20,885 --> 00:09:23,366
And what if one of 'em
bites me there?

205
00:09:23,409 --> 00:09:24,889
That's where all the blood
will be.

206
00:09:26,587 --> 00:09:28,676
Everything's gonna be fine.
All right?

207
00:09:28,719 --> 00:09:32,331
Now, mosey on over here,
partner.

208
00:09:33,811 --> 00:09:35,465
Come on.

209
00:09:39,077 --> 00:09:41,297
I-I can't do it,
I'm sorry.

210
00:09:42,428 --> 00:09:45,475
Hey, Teddy is at Don
and Marcy's.

211
00:09:45,518 --> 00:09:47,390
That means our bed is empty.

212
00:09:47,433 --> 00:09:48,652
Le-Let's just go home.

213
00:09:48,696 --> 00:09:49,784
You want to go home?

214
00:09:49,827 --> 00:09:51,829
I'll make it just like
a hotel, okay.

215
00:09:51,873 --> 00:09:53,222
I'll put chocolates
on the pillow,

216
00:09:53,265 --> 00:09:56,704
and in the morning, we
can steal our own shampoo.

217
00:09:56,747 --> 00:09:58,401
Okay, yeah, that--

218
00:09:58,444 --> 00:10:01,056
Let me just text Kate
and warn her-- tellher

219
00:10:01,099 --> 00:10:02,579
that we're coming home.

220
00:10:02,623 --> 00:10:04,233
Good, good, great.
I am out of here.

221
00:10:04,276 --> 00:10:05,408
Adam.
Hmm?

222
00:10:05,451 --> 00:10:07,410
Glass elevator.

223
00:10:07,453 --> 00:10:09,020
Right. Pants.

224
00:10:18,116 --> 00:10:19,509
My dad's coming.
Everybody out!

225
00:10:19,552 --> 00:10:20,684
Go, go! Get out!

226
00:10:20,728 --> 00:10:22,773
Out, out, out, out.
Go, go, go, go!

227
00:10:37,962 --> 00:10:39,355
Oh, my...!

228
00:10:55,763 --> 00:10:57,634
Hi.

229
00:10:57,678 --> 00:10:59,462
Hey, Mom.

230
00:10:59,505 --> 00:11:01,290
There's my girl.

231
00:11:01,333 --> 00:11:05,381
All alone, like I knew
you would be.

232
00:11:05,424 --> 00:11:07,296
Okay. Hey, Katie,
we're very tired,

233
00:11:07,339 --> 00:11:09,385
so we're just gonna
go straight up to bed.

234
00:11:09,428 --> 00:11:10,603
Okay.

235
00:11:12,867 --> 00:11:14,738
I never got
my minibar snacks.

236
00:11:18,176 --> 00:11:19,830
This room's taken, bro.

237
00:11:30,406 --> 00:11:33,714
Katie, there were teenagers
canoodling in our pantry.

238
00:11:35,759 --> 00:11:37,282
How did this happen?

239
00:11:37,326 --> 00:11:39,894
It doesn't matter
how it happened.

240
00:11:42,374 --> 00:11:44,115
We don't even need
to know what anybody said

241
00:11:44,159 --> 00:11:45,813
that might've led up to it.

242
00:11:46,901 --> 00:11:48,554
I want to know.

243
00:11:48,598 --> 00:11:50,252
She had a party.

244
00:11:50,295 --> 00:11:52,210
The one thing I
told her not to do.

245
00:11:52,254 --> 00:11:53,646
It wasn't a party.

246
00:11:53,690 --> 00:11:55,387
Oh, it wasn't a party?

247
00:11:55,431 --> 00:11:57,476
Well, then you won't mind

248
00:11:57,520 --> 00:11:59,783
if I check the trash
outside for evidence, huh?

249
00:12:01,002 --> 00:12:03,091
Huh? This house looks
a little too clean.

250
00:12:03,134 --> 00:12:05,310
I've been living with your
mother for a long time...

251
00:12:05,354 --> 00:12:06,703
Hey.

252
00:12:14,537 --> 00:12:16,321
Wait!

253
00:12:17,670 --> 00:12:20,978
Before you do that,
I should tell you.

254
00:12:21,022 --> 00:12:23,372
A neighbor came by...

255
00:12:23,415 --> 00:12:24,982
and he asked if he could

256
00:12:25,026 --> 00:12:28,029
dump his beer cans
into our trash.

257
00:12:30,031 --> 00:12:33,121
And... then he said
he was moving away

258
00:12:33,164 --> 00:12:34,687
so we'll never see him again.

259
00:12:38,039 --> 00:12:40,041
Oh, Katie.

260
00:12:41,607 --> 00:12:43,740
Oh-ho-ho, Katie.

261
00:12:46,090 --> 00:12:48,571
Okay, fine.
There was a party.

262
00:12:48,614 --> 00:12:50,268
But I didn't drink anything.

263
00:12:50,312 --> 00:12:52,575
And I only invited
two girls over.

264
00:12:52,618 --> 00:12:54,403
The others heard about it
and showed up.

265
00:12:54,446 --> 00:12:57,101
Which is exactly what
I told you would happen

266
00:12:57,145 --> 00:13:00,452
and why I said you couldn't
have anybody over.

267
00:13:03,107 --> 00:13:04,630
You're grounded.

268
00:13:04,674 --> 00:13:06,067
Grounded?

269
00:13:08,025 --> 00:13:09,374
Mom said I could!

270
00:13:13,552 --> 00:13:15,293
What? I--

271
00:13:18,688 --> 00:13:20,821
Oh, Andi.

272
00:13:28,176 --> 00:13:29,264
What's up?

273
00:13:29,307 --> 00:13:31,832
That is an excellent
question, Teddy.

274
00:13:31,875 --> 00:13:33,703
What is up?

275
00:13:34,704 --> 00:13:35,879
Teddy's scared.

276
00:13:35,923 --> 00:13:37,315
He wants to sleep
in here with us.

277
00:13:37,359 --> 00:13:39,535
But we have a streak.

278
00:13:39,578 --> 00:13:41,711
Well, I guess
the streak is over, honey.

279
00:13:43,408 --> 00:13:45,193
Teddy, let's go
for a ride.

280
00:13:51,547 --> 00:13:52,722
Hey, munchkins.

281
00:13:52,765 --> 00:13:54,855
What a nice surprise.

282
00:13:54,898 --> 00:13:57,901
I see you, Donny.

283
00:13:57,945 --> 00:13:59,598
You went behind my back

284
00:13:59,642 --> 00:14:01,470
and decided to
parent on your own.

285
00:14:01,513 --> 00:14:03,211
You went rogue.

286
00:14:03,254 --> 00:14:05,169
You went rogue, too,

287
00:14:05,213 --> 00:14:06,867
when you let Teddy
watch a scary movie.

288
00:14:06,910 --> 00:14:09,086
Wh...

289
00:14:09,130 --> 00:14:12,350
This is completely different.

290
00:14:12,394 --> 00:14:15,963
I explicitly said Katie
couldn't have anybody over.

291
00:14:16,006 --> 00:14:19,357
And I explicitly said that Teddy
shouldn't watch that movie.

292
00:14:19,401 --> 00:14:21,882
Yeah, but I wasn't listening.

293
00:14:24,058 --> 00:14:26,887
Plus, Teddy is the only one
in his class who hadn't seen it.

294
00:14:26,930 --> 00:14:28,236
I was right.

295
00:14:28,279 --> 00:14:30,368
Well, I think I was right.But you were wrong.

296
00:14:30,412 --> 00:14:33,676
I never told Kate
to have a party.

297
00:14:33,719 --> 00:14:35,504
I just wanted her
to make some friends.

298
00:14:35,547 --> 00:14:38,550
Oh, people were making
friends, all right.

299
00:14:38,594 --> 00:14:41,205
Some teenager was stealing
second base in our pantry!

300
00:14:41,249 --> 00:14:43,729
Where we keep our food.

301
00:14:44,339 --> 00:14:46,732
Contaminated, Andi!

302
00:14:53,130 --> 00:14:54,523
What's that?

303
00:14:54,566 --> 00:14:56,351
I signed Emme up
for boxing.

304
00:14:56,394 --> 00:14:58,701
You said no, but since
we're going rogue,

305
00:14:58,744 --> 00:15:00,616
I'm doing it anyway.

306
00:15:00,659 --> 00:15:03,749
Oh. Fine with me.
Mm.

307
00:15:03,793 --> 00:15:06,361
I'll sign Teddy up for
rhythmic gymnastics class.

308
00:15:06,404 --> 00:15:07,753
You know that's
the Olympic event

309
00:15:07,797 --> 00:15:10,017
where they dance around
twirling the ribbons.

310
00:15:10,060 --> 00:15:11,409
Great.

311
00:15:11,453 --> 00:15:14,717
Then I'll call the gym
about Emme. Yeah.

312
00:15:14,760 --> 00:15:17,024
I can't wait to watch her
spit a tooth into a bucket.

313
00:15:17,067 --> 00:15:18,721
Terrific.

314
00:15:18,764 --> 00:15:20,027
Good. Yep.

315
00:15:20,070 --> 00:15:22,116
You have your athlete,
I have mine.

316
00:15:22,159 --> 00:15:23,987
See you at the Olympics.

317
00:15:25,119 --> 00:15:28,035
Hey, we just came
to drop off the kids.

318
00:15:28,078 --> 00:15:29,601
Why do you have
Teddy and Emme?

319
00:15:29,645 --> 00:15:32,735
Uncle Don ding-dong-ditched us
on their porch.

320
00:15:32,778 --> 00:15:35,956
It was awesome. We got
Grandpa, like, four beers.

321
00:15:38,654 --> 00:15:40,047
Did we come at a bad time?

322
00:15:40,090 --> 00:15:42,005
I can always tell
when a wife's mad.

323
00:15:42,049 --> 00:15:44,921
If you're fighting,
we'll wait in the driveway.

324
00:15:44,965 --> 00:15:46,488
We-we can hear
everything from there.

325
00:15:46,531 --> 00:15:50,057
We're not fighting,
we're having a disagreement.

326
00:15:50,100 --> 00:15:54,322
Oh, doesn't surprise me.
We know all about your drought.

327
00:15:54,365 --> 00:15:56,454
Ma, that's not
what this is about.

328
00:15:56,498 --> 00:16:00,502
Your daughter-in-law organized
a teenage orgy in our pantry.

329
00:16:01,677 --> 00:16:03,679
Adam's just mad
because I told Kate

330
00:16:03,722 --> 00:16:06,029
it was okay to have friends
over, and a party happened.

331
00:16:06,073 --> 00:16:10,816
Oh, so what? You and Don always
had parties when we left town.

332
00:16:10,860 --> 00:16:12,079
What? No, we didn't.

333
00:16:12,122 --> 00:16:13,994
The hell you didn't!
There were more beers

334
00:16:14,037 --> 00:16:16,257
in the fridge when we
got home than when we left.

335
00:16:16,300 --> 00:16:20,435
That's because
this weird neighbor

336
00:16:20,478 --> 00:16:22,393
would sometimes bring beers over

337
00:16:22,437 --> 00:16:24,613
and we would put them
in the fridge for you.

338
00:16:24,656 --> 00:16:27,572
And then he moved away,
so you can't ask him.

339
00:16:27,616 --> 00:16:31,924
Was it Sal? Or Daryl? That seems
like something he would do.

340
00:16:31,968 --> 00:16:34,101
He's making it up, Bev.

341
00:16:34,144 --> 00:16:35,841
The point is, Andi,

342
00:16:35,885 --> 00:16:38,322
we are supposed to
parent together,

343
00:16:38,366 --> 00:16:41,064
and she went rogue.He went rogue first.

344
00:16:41,108 --> 00:16:43,980
Well, that's a different story.
Nobody likes that.

345
00:16:44,024 --> 00:16:46,461
I had to lay down the law
with your mother in '79

346
00:16:46,504 --> 00:16:48,550
when she took you...Don't you finish
that sentence, Joe.

347
00:16:48,593 --> 00:16:49,768
You took Adam

348
00:16:49,812 --> 00:16:52,380
to get a perm after
I told you not to.

349
00:16:52,423 --> 00:16:53,816
You're darn right I did.

350
00:16:53,859 --> 00:16:56,862
Oh, you looked like
one of The Jackson 5.

351
00:16:57,994 --> 00:17:00,736
His hair was so big,
a bird got stuck in it.

352
00:17:00,779 --> 00:17:02,781
Hold on, hold on,
I have an important question.

353
00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:06,089
You had a perm?

354
00:17:06,133 --> 00:17:08,004
No.

355
00:17:08,048 --> 00:17:11,964
Stop talking. This family
talks too much. Goodbye.

356
00:17:12,008 --> 00:17:14,750
He wanted to express himself,
and I supported him.

357
00:17:14,793 --> 00:17:16,360
No father should
see his son

358
00:17:16,404 --> 00:17:19,233
under a beauty shop hair dryer
reading Good Housekeeping.

359
00:17:26,327 --> 00:17:28,938
Can't believe a word they say.

360
00:17:28,981 --> 00:17:31,767
Well, it makes me feel better

361
00:17:31,810 --> 00:17:35,814
that we're not the first parents
arguing about this stuff.

362
00:17:35,858 --> 00:17:39,427
It probably goes all the way
back to the Old West.

363
00:17:40,993 --> 00:17:43,866
Ain't that right, Sheriff?

364
00:17:50,438 --> 00:17:53,832
Well, I reckon so.

365
00:17:55,182 --> 00:17:56,531
Madam Prostitute.

366
00:17:58,533 --> 00:18:02,798
I'm a pioneer woman.
Sheesh. Let it go.

367
00:18:02,841 --> 00:18:06,410
Fine, fine, fine.

368
00:18:06,454 --> 00:18:07,585
Maybe for our anniversary.

369
00:18:09,544 --> 00:18:13,374
I... I'm sorry for going
behind your back with Teddy.

370
00:18:13,417 --> 00:18:15,854
Me, too, with Kate.

371
00:18:15,898 --> 00:18:18,988
Going rogue is a bad idea.You're right.

372
00:18:19,031 --> 00:18:20,729
So we're not gonna
do that anymore, right?

373
00:18:20,772 --> 00:18:22,818
Right.

374
00:18:27,257 --> 00:18:30,652
Well, there's hundreds
of scary movies,

375
00:18:30,695 --> 00:18:32,828
and I'm too afraid
to watch them alone.

376
00:18:34,308 --> 00:18:36,179
We'll go
case by case.

377
00:18:36,223 --> 00:18:38,007
Fair enough.

378
00:18:40,096 --> 00:18:43,055
Hey, you got any pictures
of you with that perm?

379
00:18:43,099 --> 00:18:44,883
No. No.

380
00:18:44,927 --> 00:18:47,190
No, I burned them all.

381
00:18:47,234 --> 00:18:51,238
That's too bad. You might
get lucky if you did.

382
00:18:51,281 --> 00:18:53,457
I know exactly where one is.

383
00:19:00,247 --> 00:19:02,858
Morning, fellas.

384
00:19:05,730 --> 00:19:08,385
What a day, huh?

385
00:19:10,474 --> 00:19:14,739
Have you ever seen
a sky that blue?

386
00:19:17,568 --> 00:19:20,223
Well, somebody sure
has cheered up.

387
00:19:20,267 --> 00:19:22,225
Yeah, worked
everything out.

388
00:19:22,269 --> 00:19:23,792
Instead of grounding Katie,

389
00:19:23,835 --> 00:19:27,187
her punishment is Teddy
has to sleep in her room.

390
00:19:28,405 --> 00:19:32,192
So in the parents'
room, well,

391
00:19:32,235 --> 00:19:34,106
let's just say

392
00:19:34,150 --> 00:19:36,979
there's a new sheriff in town.

393
00:19:39,024 --> 00:19:40,852
Yeah, well, my streak is over.

394
00:19:40,896 --> 00:19:43,855
Marcy said choosing sex
over family is a turnoff.

395
00:19:45,727 --> 00:19:48,469
And then she started listing
all the other things I do

396
00:19:48,512 --> 00:19:50,645
that are turnoffs.

397
00:19:50,688 --> 00:19:53,038
It was a real bad night.

398
00:19:55,171 --> 00:19:56,694
Well, you have my sympathies.

399
00:19:56,738 --> 00:19:59,436
As a single man, I understand
how hard celibacy can be.

400
00:19:59,480 --> 00:20:00,829
Here.

401
00:20:00,872 --> 00:20:02,134
Let me help you with that.

402
00:20:07,183 --> 00:20:09,316
Okay, okay, okay, okay.

403
00:20:09,359 --> 00:20:10,621
Take it easy, buddy.

404
00:20:12,971 --> 00:20:15,670
Some guys just can't
handle a drought.

405
00:20:20,152 --> 00:20:22,154
Captioning sponsored by
CBS

406
00:20:22,198 --> 00:20:25,201
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org