1
00:00:02,606 --> 00:00:04,900
All right. It's report card day.

2
00:00:04,984 --> 00:00:08,404
The least fun day when I was your age,
but the most fun day now.

3
00:00:08,487 --> 00:00:10,614
[chuckles] Hand 'em over.

4
00:00:11,991 --> 00:00:13,492
I think you'll be pleased.

5
00:00:13,576 --> 00:00:18,080
Ooh, A, B, B, A. ABBA. [laughs]

6
00:00:18,664 --> 00:00:21,083
My favorite band and my favorite grades.

7
00:00:21,167 --> 00:00:23,586
Wow. Nice report card, Katie.

8
00:00:23,669 --> 00:00:26,130
Is it good enough to go to Harvard? No.

9
00:00:26,213 --> 00:00:29,925
Can we afford Harvard? No.
Right in the sweet spot.

10
00:00:31,886 --> 00:00:35,181
I remember what you said, Dad:
any college that ends in "State."

11
00:00:39,393 --> 00:00:42,062
Wow, all smiley faces.

12
00:00:42,146 --> 00:00:44,607
What can I say? People love me.

13
00:00:46,192 --> 00:00:48,903
Okay, girls, great work.
Keep those grades up.

14
00:00:48,986 --> 00:00:51,530
Excellent job, ladies.
Let's get out of here.

15
00:00:51,614 --> 00:00:52,865
[Teddy chuckles]

16
00:00:54,283 --> 00:00:55,409
Teddy.

17
00:00:57,119 --> 00:00:58,496
Yes, Father?

18
00:00:59,246 --> 00:01:00,498
Where's your report card?

19
00:01:01,082 --> 00:01:04,210
Oh, my school's not doing grades anymore.

20
00:01:04,293 --> 00:01:08,005
It's just based on how we feel,
and I feel great.

21
00:01:09,131 --> 00:01:11,133
I saw you shove it in your pocket.
Hand it over.

22
00:01:13,010 --> 00:01:14,386
Come on, tight pants.

23
00:01:18,974 --> 00:01:20,768
Good God, a Z?

24
00:01:21,477 --> 00:01:25,481
I tried to change a D to a B on the bus.
It was bumpy.

25
00:01:26,607 --> 00:01:28,609
Your teachers say
you're not doing your homework.

26
00:01:28,692 --> 00:01:32,696
Your grades don't have to be perfect.
We just expect you to try your best.

27
00:01:32,780 --> 00:01:34,615
But this looks like
you're not trying at all.

28
00:01:34,698 --> 00:01:36,492
Explain yourself, mister.

29
00:01:37,284 --> 00:01:39,245
I'm just looking
for a different lifestyle.

30
00:01:40,621 --> 00:01:42,248
A different lifestyle?

31
00:01:42,331 --> 00:01:45,292
Look, date who you want,
but do your homework.

32
00:01:46,210 --> 00:01:48,504
Homework's a bummer, man.
I want to be free.

33
00:01:49,922 --> 00:01:52,466
-Teddy, go to your room.
-[stammers] That's right.

34
00:01:52,550 --> 00:01:54,718
We need some privacy
to talk about your punishment.

35
00:01:54,802 --> 00:01:57,555
And I'll just say this:
Everything is on the table.

36
00:02:02,184 --> 00:02:05,312
That was good.
"Everything's on the table." Scary.

37
00:02:06,021 --> 00:02:07,773
It's from a Liam Neeson movie.

38
00:02:08,732 --> 00:02:11,735
Did he think we were gonna buy
that "lifestyle" stuff?

39
00:02:11,819 --> 00:02:15,114
If you blow off your homework,
you say you lost it or the dog ate it.

40
00:02:15,197 --> 00:02:16,782
They're classics for a reason.

41
00:02:16,866 --> 00:02:18,784
Well, we learned with Katie,

42
00:02:18,868 --> 00:02:20,995
at some point,
kids stop doing their homework.

43
00:02:21,078 --> 00:02:24,498
So we're gonna threaten to send Teddy
where we threatened to send her.

44
00:02:25,124 --> 00:02:27,042
[both] Military school.

45
00:02:27,126 --> 00:02:29,420
-It's a bluff, but he doesn't know that.
-Hmm-mm.

46
00:02:29,503 --> 00:02:32,590
Remember, as soon as Katie heard
the words "military school,"

47
00:02:32,673 --> 00:02:34,258
her eyes got big and her lip trembled.

48
00:02:34,884 --> 00:02:36,719
That's when we knew we had her.

49
00:02:36,802 --> 00:02:39,221
-We should write parenting books.
-Yeah.

50
00:02:39,305 --> 00:02:42,516
You know, someday
they're gonna be too old to scare.

51
00:02:43,100 --> 00:02:44,727
Let's enjoy it while we can.

52
00:02:46,478 --> 00:02:49,857
Your father and I have discussed
the consequences of your report card.

53
00:02:49,940 --> 00:02:52,192
And we've decided what needs to be done.

54
00:02:52,276 --> 00:02:56,322
This is very hard for a mother,
so forgive me if I get emotional.

55
00:02:56,405 --> 00:02:59,450
It's just, I'm gonna miss you so much.

56
00:02:59,533 --> 00:03:02,661
Get a hold of yourself, Andi.
It's for his own good.

57
00:03:02,745 --> 00:03:06,123
Teddy, if you don't start doing homework,
we're gonna send you to military school.

58
00:03:06,749 --> 00:03:08,208
-What?
-That's right.

59
00:03:09,877 --> 00:03:11,795
Runcrest Military Academy.

60
00:03:11,879 --> 00:03:15,883
They call it Runcrest
because they make you run to a crest.

61
00:03:16,634 --> 00:03:18,093
That's a hill.

62
00:03:20,262 --> 00:03:24,808
Just thinking about my baby running up
that scorpion-infested hill,

63
00:03:24,892 --> 00:03:27,019
it just-- it breaks my heart.

64
00:03:27,728 --> 00:03:32,483
So what's it gonna be, Teddy? Huh?
Homework or military school?

65
00:03:32,566 --> 00:03:33,901
Well, that's easy.

66
00:03:33,984 --> 00:03:35,736
-Hmm.
-Military school.

67
00:03:36,987 --> 00:03:38,822
-Come again?
-What's that now?

68
00:03:39,698 --> 00:03:41,742
I could use the structure.
When do I ship out?

69
00:03:45,371 --> 00:03:47,289
Teddy, go to your room.

70
00:03:48,165 --> 00:03:49,458
This is my room.

71
00:03:50,084 --> 00:03:52,044
Then go to a different part of your room.

72
00:03:52,670 --> 00:03:54,213
You heard your father.

73
00:03:54,296 --> 00:03:56,674
There, in the dusty corner
where the vacuum can't reach.

74
00:04:10,938 --> 00:04:12,982
"Go to a different part of your room"?

75
00:04:13,565 --> 00:04:14,858
I actually said that.

76
00:04:15,609 --> 00:04:19,321
It's like a dragon opened its mouth,
and jelly beans shot out.

77
00:04:20,572 --> 00:04:22,825
Don't blame yourself. We were in shock.

78
00:04:22,908 --> 00:04:26,745
[stammers] What kind of kid
wants to go to military school?

79
00:04:26,829 --> 00:04:29,415
That trick used to work so well on Katie.

80
00:04:29,498 --> 00:04:31,959
Yeah, but Teddy didn't give us
the big-eye lip tremble.

81
00:04:33,002 --> 00:04:36,755
I want our child sad and scared,
so we know we're good parents.

82
00:04:36,839 --> 00:04:39,091
<i>Sad and Scared</i>.
That's a good title for our book.

83
00:04:40,718 --> 00:04:42,720
Well, he called our bluff.

84
00:04:42,803 --> 00:04:44,763
Yeah, if the kids know we're bluffing,

85
00:04:44,847 --> 00:04:47,182
the wheels come off this whole family,
Andi.

86
00:04:47,266 --> 00:04:49,143
So there's only one thing left to do.

87
00:04:49,226 --> 00:04:50,936
We're gonna actually send him
to military school.

88
00:04:51,020 --> 00:04:54,106
Okay, Runcrest Military Academy.

89
00:04:54,189 --> 00:04:56,442
Whoa, whoa, what?
What about Scorpion Hill?

90
00:04:56,525 --> 00:04:57,901
You made that up.

91
00:04:58,569 --> 00:05:00,362
Oh, it's so real to me now.

92
00:05:01,739 --> 00:05:06,035
Okay, look. Tuition: $300.
We can swing that.

93
00:05:06,118 --> 00:05:09,038
That's the application fee.
This is the tuition.

94
00:05:09,580 --> 00:05:10,873
Oh.

95
00:05:12,249 --> 00:05:14,793
He's gonna flunk out of school
and live with us forever.

96
00:05:15,753 --> 00:05:18,088
I don't want to be that lady
walking around Target

97
00:05:18,172 --> 00:05:20,341
with her giant son begging her
for hot dog money.

98
00:05:21,592 --> 00:05:23,135
I can't do it, Adam.

99
00:05:23,802 --> 00:05:26,680
Oh, sorry, Andi. Didn't you hear?
He wants a different lifestyle.

100
00:05:27,348 --> 00:05:29,850
Well, he's got to learn
that there is only one lifestyle:

101
00:05:29,933 --> 00:05:31,685
work hard, then die.

102
00:05:31,769 --> 00:05:33,228
It's the American dream.

103
00:05:33,812 --> 00:05:37,107
Look, we can fix this, okay?
We're still in charge here.

104
00:05:37,816 --> 00:05:39,526
Okay. Yeah, you're right.

105
00:05:39,610 --> 00:05:42,488
We'll, uh...
We'll just give Teddy a preview

106
00:05:42,571 --> 00:05:45,157
of what happens to kids
who don't do their homework.

107
00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:47,785
-Yeah, and we'll make it look real bad.
-Yes.

108
00:05:49,078 --> 00:05:51,872
He can't be that hard to outsmart.
We saw his report card.

109
00:05:51,955 --> 00:05:53,624
Yeah, yeah, and the best part is,

110
00:05:53,707 --> 00:05:56,251
there's two of us
and there's only one of him.

111
00:05:56,335 --> 00:05:58,796
You can never tell Mom and Dad
I'm helping you.

112
00:05:59,630 --> 00:06:01,840
I won't. You're getting me
out of homework. I owe you.

113
00:06:02,424 --> 00:06:05,886
I got to know, what happened when you said
you wanted to go to military school?

114
00:06:06,720 --> 00:06:09,014
Dad's eyes got big,
and Mom's lip trembled.

115
00:06:10,182 --> 00:06:12,226
[chuckles] This is so great.

116
00:06:12,309 --> 00:06:15,270
I fell for all their tricks,
and now I get payback.

117
00:06:15,979 --> 00:06:16,980
So what's next?

118
00:06:17,064 --> 00:06:20,109
Nothing.
We just blew up their biggest move.

119
00:06:20,192 --> 00:06:23,445
They might try one or two other things,
but it won't last.

120
00:06:23,529 --> 00:06:26,323
Every day they get a little older
and a little tireder.

121
00:06:28,450 --> 00:06:30,619
All right, smart guy,
military school's off.

122
00:06:31,203 --> 00:06:33,247
They weren't as strict
as I wanted them to be.

123
00:06:33,330 --> 00:06:34,832
They started letting people smile.

124
00:06:35,833 --> 00:06:37,251
But I can straighten you out right here.

125
00:06:37,334 --> 00:06:38,877
You won't do homework,
you'll do work-work.

126
00:06:38,961 --> 00:06:41,880
Meet me in the driveway,
and get ready to sweat. Hi, honey.

127
00:06:44,758 --> 00:06:47,636
Work? These are video-game hands,
not real-life hands.

128
00:06:48,512 --> 00:06:51,932
-Relax. I know how to deal with this.
-How'd he look?

129
00:06:52,015 --> 00:06:53,934
Remember when he was going down the hill
on his bicycle,

130
00:06:54,017 --> 00:06:55,269
and the handlebars came off?

131
00:06:55,352 --> 00:06:57,187
-He looked like that.
-[chuckles]

132
00:06:57,896 --> 00:07:00,941
Okay, your job is to take
this messy pile of bricks over here

133
00:07:01,024 --> 00:07:04,111
and turn it into a neat stack of bricks
on the pallet over there.

134
00:07:04,194 --> 00:07:06,113
-That sounds hard.
-Because it is.

135
00:07:06,989 --> 00:07:08,824
If you can't be bothered to do homework,

136
00:07:08,907 --> 00:07:11,618
the only thing people are gonna
trust you with is grunt work.

137
00:07:11,702 --> 00:07:14,705
And the kids who did homework
will get nice, cushy office jobs

138
00:07:14,788 --> 00:07:15,956
with free muffins.

139
00:07:16,039 --> 00:07:19,251
Free muffins, Teddy.
You think about what you're giving up.

140
00:07:20,919 --> 00:07:23,714
-So I'm gonna be a bricklayer?
-No, no, my friend.

141
00:07:23,797 --> 00:07:27,384
You're a brick mover.
You're one step above the brick.

142
00:07:27,468 --> 00:07:30,012
If the brick had legs,
it wouldn't need you. Get cracking.

143
00:07:34,725 --> 00:07:37,853
Look at him out there in the sun,
full of sweat and regret.

144
00:07:37,936 --> 00:07:39,104
-[chuckles]
-[brick clatters]

145
00:07:39,188 --> 00:07:41,857
Ooh! He just dropped a brick on his foot.

146
00:07:41,940 --> 00:07:43,567
-This is going great.
-Yeah.

147
00:07:44,526 --> 00:07:47,613
He's really... not doing that right!

148
00:07:47,696 --> 00:07:48,697
What?

149
00:07:48,780 --> 00:07:52,409
-There's gaps, Andi. Gaps in the stack.
-He's just getting started.

150
00:07:52,493 --> 00:07:54,495
Yeah, but the beginning
is where you have to be perfect,

151
00:07:54,578 --> 00:07:56,121
or everything else is out of whack.

152
00:07:56,205 --> 00:07:59,082
Look at his edges. They're all catawampus.

153
00:07:59,875 --> 00:08:03,504
Hey. That's-That's not how you do it.

154
00:08:03,587 --> 00:08:05,672
If you got gaps,
your corners aren't square.

155
00:08:05,756 --> 00:08:08,592
Have you never paid attention to me
when I talk about bricks?

156
00:08:09,426 --> 00:08:11,595
We just have to start
this whole thing over.

157
00:08:15,140 --> 00:08:17,142
-Hmm?
-That looks good, Dad.

158
00:08:17,226 --> 00:08:19,728
Oh, you think it looks good now,
you just wait till I'm done.

159
00:08:27,027 --> 00:08:29,988
You were right. I messed the first few up,
and he just took over.

160
00:08:31,156 --> 00:08:32,449
Yep. I'm good.

161
00:08:32,533 --> 00:08:35,035
If they gave grades for this,
I <i>would</i> get into Harvard.

162
00:08:40,541 --> 00:08:43,627
Look at that perfect stack of bricks.

163
00:08:43,710 --> 00:08:46,171
Now we accomplished something today.

164
00:08:46,255 --> 00:08:49,258
Did we?
'Cause Teddy's not even here anymore.

165
00:08:49,341 --> 00:08:50,842
Good. He was slowing me down.

166
00:08:51,843 --> 00:08:54,054
Adam, we were supposed to be
teaching him a lesson,

167
00:08:54,137 --> 00:08:56,014
but instead, you did all the work.

168
00:08:56,098 --> 00:08:59,059
-It's like he taught us a lesson.
-But you saw it. He had gaps.

169
00:08:59,142 --> 00:09:01,478
When Teddy sees this, he will know.

170
00:09:01,562 --> 00:09:05,023
The only thing he'll know
is how to get out of stacking bricks.

171
00:09:05,607 --> 00:09:07,025
Wait a minute.

172
00:09:07,109 --> 00:09:09,653
Do you think he messed up on purpose,
knowing I would take over?

173
00:09:10,320 --> 00:09:12,823
Ah, that would require
Teddy taking one thought,

174
00:09:12,906 --> 00:09:15,867
putting it together with another thought,
and making a new thought.

175
00:09:15,951 --> 00:09:17,536
[gasps] Can he do that?

176
00:09:18,954 --> 00:09:22,249
I would've said no, but I'm the chump
out here covered in brick dust.

177
00:09:25,210 --> 00:09:27,713
Getting kids to do homework
is a never-ending struggle.

178
00:09:27,796 --> 00:09:29,673
My girls are in their fifth year
of Chinese,

179
00:09:29,756 --> 00:09:31,675
but they still speak like fourth-years,

180
00:09:31,758 --> 00:09:34,177
so I punish them
by taking away their cellos.

181
00:09:35,637 --> 00:09:37,889
Our kids are gonna be working
for his kids.

182
00:09:38,473 --> 00:09:41,351
Joke's on them.
Our kids will be terrible employees.

183
00:09:42,060 --> 00:09:43,770
If Teddy doesn't get his act together,

184
00:09:43,854 --> 00:09:45,689
he's gonna wind up in summer school
like I did.

185
00:09:46,315 --> 00:09:48,692
Hey, that's right.

186
00:09:48,775 --> 00:09:51,236
Don, maybe you could
talk some sense into Teddy, huh?

187
00:09:51,320 --> 00:09:52,404
You learned your lesson.

188
00:09:52,487 --> 00:09:55,282
[sighs] That summer,
all my friends went to camp,

189
00:09:55,365 --> 00:09:57,951
and I had to sit in the library
with Mrs. Branch,

190
00:09:58,035 --> 00:10:00,871
a lady so boring
she was named after a tree.

191
00:10:02,789 --> 00:10:04,416
That could work on Teddy.

192
00:10:04,499 --> 00:10:06,293
He'd hate the idea of summer school.

193
00:10:06,376 --> 00:10:07,711
Yeah. Take him to lunch, Don.

194
00:10:07,794 --> 00:10:10,589
Tell him what happened when you didn't do
your homework. He'll listen to you.

195
00:10:10,672 --> 00:10:13,216
-He thinks you're cool for some reason.
-I am cool.

196
00:10:13,300 --> 00:10:15,719
I hate to break it to you,
but you got old and I didn't.

197
00:10:17,429 --> 00:10:19,848
Then take my girls to lunch.
Maybe you can find out

198
00:10:19,931 --> 00:10:22,351
why they've fallen behind
in their Russian literature book club.

199
00:10:24,061 --> 00:10:26,271
You know what, Lowell?
Just go home for the day.

200
00:10:29,316 --> 00:10:32,235
A woman so boring
she was named after a tree.

201
00:10:34,112 --> 00:10:35,822
Mrs. Branch.

202
00:10:37,407 --> 00:10:38,825
Nothing?

203
00:10:39,451 --> 00:10:40,994
Anyway, that's what can happen to you.

204
00:10:41,620 --> 00:10:44,956
See, the thing is, Uncle Don,
Teddy wants a different lifestyle.

205
00:10:45,040 --> 00:10:48,293
Yeah. I'm not climbing the corporate
ladder just 'cause the man wants me to.

206
00:10:48,877 --> 00:10:51,004
The man. I hate that guy.

207
00:10:52,881 --> 00:10:55,842
But you work for the man.
You're his stooge.

208
00:10:56,718 --> 00:10:57,803
You take that back.

209
00:10:59,554 --> 00:11:01,932
If you know a way off this hamster wheel,
I'm listening.

210
00:11:05,560 --> 00:11:07,270
So, did you get through to Teddy?

211
00:11:07,354 --> 00:11:09,398
No, but Teddy got through to me.

212
00:11:09,481 --> 00:11:12,150
He's really zigging
where the rest of us zag.

213
00:11:13,068 --> 00:11:14,820
What? What does that mean?

214
00:11:14,903 --> 00:11:18,240
Well, it means that Kate and Teddy's
philosophy really spoke to me.

215
00:11:18,323 --> 00:11:20,450
So I'm gonna zag on home and take a nap.

216
00:11:21,701 --> 00:11:23,453
Wait. Kate was there?

217
00:11:23,537 --> 00:11:26,373
Yeah. When I went to pick up Teddy,
she hopped in the car.

218
00:11:26,456 --> 00:11:29,835
She said lunch was on her,
so I stopped asking questions.

219
00:11:32,379 --> 00:11:34,256
Teddy and Katie never hang out together.

220
00:11:34,339 --> 00:11:36,007
Why would she be at that lunch?

221
00:11:36,091 --> 00:11:37,467
Good question.

222
00:11:38,593 --> 00:11:40,095
-And you know something else?
-Huh?

223
00:11:40,178 --> 00:11:43,056
She was in his room yesterday.
She hasn't been in there

224
00:11:43,140 --> 00:11:46,226
since she caught him trying to twerk
in front of his mirror.

225
00:11:46,309 --> 00:11:47,769
Something's up.

226
00:11:50,021 --> 00:11:51,523
You don't think...

227
00:11:51,606 --> 00:11:53,191
[both gasp]

228
00:11:54,192 --> 00:11:57,487
-She's helping him.
-Why do I feel so scared right now?

229
00:11:58,113 --> 00:12:00,323
Because this is <i>Jurassic Park</i>,

230
00:12:00,407 --> 00:12:02,659
and we just found out
they learned how to work in packs.

231
00:12:08,498 --> 00:12:10,792
So Teddy and Kate formed
a criminal conspiracy.

232
00:12:10,876 --> 00:12:12,002
[seethes]

233
00:12:12,794 --> 00:12:14,796
It is nice they're spending time together,
though.

234
00:12:16,047 --> 00:12:18,467
Snap out of it, Andi.
I'm gonna put an end to this.

235
00:12:18,550 --> 00:12:21,303
-Wait, wait, wait. Stop.
-Why? I'm all fired up!

236
00:12:23,054 --> 00:12:25,223
What happens if you go up there
and yell at 'em?

237
00:12:25,307 --> 00:12:27,851
I feel better. And then I watch TV.

238
00:12:28,477 --> 00:12:30,937
Yeah, but that won't get Teddy
to do his homework,

239
00:12:31,021 --> 00:12:32,772
and it won't stop Kate from helping him.

240
00:12:32,856 --> 00:12:35,442
Look, our only advantage
is that they don't know we know,

241
00:12:35,525 --> 00:12:37,777
and we have to use that
to take back control.

242
00:12:39,196 --> 00:12:42,532
I want control. Why did I have kids
if I can't tell 'em what to do?

243
00:12:42,616 --> 00:12:43,950
Yeah.

244
00:12:44,034 --> 00:12:49,080
Everything flows from problem number one:
How do we get Teddy to do his homework?

245
00:12:50,415 --> 00:12:52,417
-Hey, Dad.
-"Hey, Dad"?

246
00:12:53,585 --> 00:12:56,171
Why did you leave a stack of bricks
in your driveway?

247
00:12:56,254 --> 00:12:58,381
Are you trying to tell the neighborhood
you've given up?

248
00:12:58,465 --> 00:13:01,218
I-- I was teaching Teddy a lesson.

249
00:13:01,301 --> 00:13:03,845
The only lesson he learned
is his father gives up.

250
00:13:05,138 --> 00:13:07,140
-Did you hear that?
-I certainly did.

251
00:13:07,224 --> 00:13:09,434
My dad can get Teddy into shape.

252
00:13:09,518 --> 00:13:11,728
Just like he did with me
when I got bad grades.

253
00:13:11,811 --> 00:13:13,104
He was a terrible student.

254
00:13:13,188 --> 00:13:15,232
All he wanted to do
was sit in his teacher's lap.

255
00:13:15,315 --> 00:13:17,359
-Aw.
-He was 13.

256
00:13:18,568 --> 00:13:19,819
Oh.

257
00:13:20,612 --> 00:13:23,823
Yep. There was no estrogen
in the chicken back then.

258
00:13:23,907 --> 00:13:25,450
I was a full man in middle school.

259
00:13:27,077 --> 00:13:28,662
When Dad heard about that,

260
00:13:28,745 --> 00:13:31,957
he made me water the whole front yard
with a tiny Dixie cup.

261
00:13:32,040 --> 00:13:35,794
Yeah, it's the slowest,
most painful way to water a lawn,

262
00:13:35,877 --> 00:13:37,587
but delightful to watch.

263
00:13:38,964 --> 00:13:41,675
Joe, we've got homework problems
with Teddy.

264
00:13:41,758 --> 00:13:43,385
Can you take him to your place
and fix him up?

265
00:13:43,468 --> 00:13:44,844
-Sure.
-That's good, yeah.

266
00:13:44,928 --> 00:13:48,098
He'll be separated from Katie.
She's the brains of the operation.

267
00:13:48,181 --> 00:13:50,475
Sounds like a job for Old Tough Nuts.

268
00:13:51,768 --> 00:13:54,104
That's what he used to call himself
when I was in trouble.

269
00:13:54,187 --> 00:13:57,649
And I was in trouble a lot.
I had a full mustache in fifth grade.

270
00:13:58,441 --> 00:13:59,901
He looked like Sonny Bono.

271
00:14:04,364 --> 00:14:06,283
Since we can't get you
to do your homework,

272
00:14:06,366 --> 00:14:08,201
we're turning you over
to your grandfather.

273
00:14:08,285 --> 00:14:09,828
We're sorry it's come to this.

274
00:14:10,412 --> 00:14:11,871
That's okay. I like Grandpa.

275
00:14:12,497 --> 00:14:14,749
Our relationship has changed.

276
00:14:18,211 --> 00:14:21,339
So, I have to water the lawn with this
or do my homework?

277
00:14:21,423 --> 00:14:24,551
No, homework's out.
This is just your life now.

278
00:14:26,219 --> 00:14:27,387
Can I talk to Grandma?

279
00:14:29,180 --> 00:14:32,058
I sent her to Atlantic City
with a coffee can full of quarters.

280
00:14:32,142 --> 00:14:33,518
No one can save you now.

281
00:14:37,105 --> 00:14:38,732
[sighs] All right.

282
00:14:39,774 --> 00:14:41,526
The lawn is watered.

283
00:14:42,485 --> 00:14:43,737
Where's my Dixie cup?

284
00:14:43,820 --> 00:14:45,906
It fell apart. I was out there for hours.

285
00:14:46,489 --> 00:14:47,991
That was my favorite cup!

286
00:14:49,534 --> 00:14:51,912
All right, you can pay me back
with some elbow grease.

287
00:14:51,995 --> 00:14:53,496
You see those shoes?

288
00:14:53,580 --> 00:14:57,083
Make 'em shiny
so I can see my beautiful face.

289
00:15:01,171 --> 00:15:02,631
Dinnertime, grunt.

290
00:15:04,633 --> 00:15:06,092
A can of shrimp?

291
00:15:07,719 --> 00:15:09,346
If you can open it, you can eat it.

292
00:15:11,806 --> 00:15:15,477
[sighs] Finally done with the dishes.
Can we watch TV now?

293
00:15:16,186 --> 00:15:17,604
Bedtime.

294
00:15:19,022 --> 00:15:20,357
But it's only 6:30.

295
00:15:20,440 --> 00:15:22,692
You're gonna need that sleep.

296
00:15:22,776 --> 00:15:25,236
Tomorrow you're digging holes
in the backyard.

297
00:15:25,987 --> 00:15:28,657
-For what?
-To have a place to put your questions.

298
00:15:32,410 --> 00:15:34,329
[air horn blows]

299
00:15:35,497 --> 00:15:37,457
Rise and shine, cadet.

300
00:15:38,875 --> 00:15:40,293
It's 4:00 in the morning.

301
00:15:40,377 --> 00:15:42,963
I let you sleep in because I'm a softy.

302
00:15:45,298 --> 00:15:47,342
[air horn blows]

303
00:15:52,055 --> 00:15:53,223
Morning, fellas.

304
00:15:53,306 --> 00:15:56,893
Oh. He's got you counting toothpicks, huh?

305
00:15:58,269 --> 00:15:59,562
There's supposed to be a thousand,

306
00:15:59,646 --> 00:16:01,815
but Grandpa says
they always short him a couple.

307
00:16:01,898 --> 00:16:03,608
Yeah. He made me do that

308
00:16:03,692 --> 00:16:06,361
after I asked the school nurse
to the eighth-grade formal.

309
00:16:08,113 --> 00:16:10,657
All right. Keep an eye on him.

310
00:16:10,740 --> 00:16:14,285
I'm going out back to string
some barbed wire for the obstacle course.

311
00:16:15,453 --> 00:16:17,706
If he makes it through,
he earns a can opener.

312
00:16:22,460 --> 00:16:24,671
You've gotta get me out of here.
I'll do anything.

313
00:16:24,754 --> 00:16:26,506
-Even your homework?
-I promise.

314
00:16:27,215 --> 00:16:30,885
Mm, I don't know. Maybe you should
still try the obstacle course.

315
00:16:30,969 --> 00:16:33,638
Grandpa went all the way across town
to get that barbed wire.

316
00:16:34,264 --> 00:16:37,350
No. I'll do all my homework forever.
I swear.

317
00:16:38,601 --> 00:16:39,686
Okay. Deal.

318
00:16:41,187 --> 00:16:44,399
You will thank me for this when you're
in your cushy office eating free muffins.

319
00:16:44,482 --> 00:16:46,609
I know.
Can we please leave before he comes back?

320
00:16:47,277 --> 00:16:48,820
Sure.

321
00:16:48,903 --> 00:16:50,780
Now we're both graduates
of Camp Tough Nuts.

322
00:16:50,864 --> 00:16:52,907
Did he give you a can of shrimp
and no way to open it?

323
00:16:52,991 --> 00:16:55,869
-Yep.
-Ugh, he's been doing that since the '70s.

324
00:16:56,536 --> 00:16:58,079
Might even be the same can of shrimp.

325
00:17:06,421 --> 00:17:08,298
Okay. It's time, Teddy.

326
00:17:09,132 --> 00:17:11,092
You need to give up your accomplice.

327
00:17:11,176 --> 00:17:12,969
Who was helping you?

328
00:17:13,053 --> 00:17:15,388
You're the body of the snake.
We want the head.

329
00:17:16,723 --> 00:17:19,684
We already have a suspect,
so you might as well come clean.

330
00:17:20,769 --> 00:17:22,645
I don't know what you're talking about.

331
00:17:23,480 --> 00:17:27,150
Maybe you can't remember because
you're so hungry from Grandpa's house.

332
00:17:28,568 --> 00:17:31,529
-I am.
-Then let us jog your memory.

333
00:17:31,613 --> 00:17:32,989
Do it, Andi.

334
00:17:35,033 --> 00:17:37,911
It was all Kate. I never wanted to lie.
I love you, Mommy and Daddy.

335
00:17:44,084 --> 00:17:45,835
You're back. What happened?
Are you in trouble?

336
00:17:45,919 --> 00:17:47,378
I'm not.

337
00:17:48,755 --> 00:17:51,382
-[door closes]
-What do you mean? Hey, Teddy?

338
00:17:52,425 --> 00:17:56,179
Teddy! Teddy, what happened?
Teddy, open the door!

339
00:17:57,180 --> 00:17:58,640
He's not gonna answer, Kate.

340
00:17:59,557 --> 00:18:00,767
Oh, no.

341
00:18:01,476 --> 00:18:04,687
Oh, look.
We finally got our big-eyed lip tremble.

342
00:18:04,771 --> 00:18:07,524
-Hmm.
-Ooh. She added a knee wobble.

343
00:18:07,607 --> 00:18:09,734
Oh, that's new. [chuckles] I like it.

344
00:18:10,401 --> 00:18:13,696
Sad and scared.
Now we know we're good parents.

345
00:18:16,533 --> 00:18:17,742
I'm really sorry.

346
00:18:17,826 --> 00:18:21,162
But isn't the guilt I'm feeling
punishment enough? I think so.

347
00:18:23,164 --> 00:18:24,541
Is it enough for you, Adam?

348
00:18:24,624 --> 00:18:26,543
Your punishment isn't up to us.

349
00:18:27,127 --> 00:18:28,586
What do you mean?

350
00:18:28,670 --> 00:18:30,630
[air horn blows]

351
00:18:31,840 --> 00:18:32,841
Grandpa?

352
00:18:32,924 --> 00:18:35,218
Our relationship has changed.

353
00:18:36,594 --> 00:18:40,056
Start running. I've got a Dixie cup
at home with your name on it.

354
00:18:40,807 --> 00:18:43,143
[air horn blows]

355
00:18:44,644 --> 00:18:47,689
-If the kids can work in packs, so can we.
-That's right.

356
00:18:47,772 --> 00:18:50,900
And our pack is scarier
'cause we got the T. rex.

357
00:18:55,697 --> 00:18:56,698
There you are.

358
00:18:56,781 --> 00:18:59,492
Are you not coming to work anymore?
It's been two days.

359
00:19:00,201 --> 00:19:03,163
Well, some people are worker bees,
some people are butterflies.

360
00:19:03,246 --> 00:19:04,455
Me and Teddy are butterflies.

361
00:19:05,748 --> 00:19:07,208
You have to make up those hours.

362
00:19:07,292 --> 00:19:09,836
And I found just the right person
to make sure you do.

363
00:19:14,883 --> 00:19:16,259
Mrs. Branch?

364
00:19:17,093 --> 00:19:19,721
Mm-hmm. Still working at the library.

365
00:19:19,804 --> 00:19:21,389
Here. Have a seat.

366
00:19:24,893 --> 00:19:25,977
Have a good summer, Don.