I wanted us to meet because I have been thinking things and then not...
I read scripts, or I read articles, or my friends are talking about something
and I think, "I totally disagree."
Then suddenly, I read your stuff,
and you're articulating exactly what I've been thinking.
So I know that somehow we're supposed to work on something.
It's weird because I write, obviously, a lot about sexuality
and the backlash I get often is from people you wouldn't expect.
So in the article that you're saying you read,
I wrote about having a gangbang fantasy.
-Yeah. Yeah. -And...
Then women are angry that you acknowledge that you have a rape fantasy,
because they want to pretend you don't.
The other thing is, like, stop judging other people's fantasies.
Like, that's thought police shit, right?
I definitely feel like I'm increasingly libertarian.
-You don't have to agree with me. -I do.
I would love to write something for you,
because as we were talking about,
it's easier to put these words in the mouth of a character
than to say them myself.
-It's safer. Especially now. -Yeah.
I don't want to be run out of town on a rail.
-A script is like the safe space. -Yeah.
-Or not safe space. -"Safe space." Jeez.
-All of that safe space-- -It's so bad.
There are no safe spaces. There are no--
The more people talk about needing a safe space,
the more I feel like they're creating a world where no one is safe.
-I'm gonna be rude and check my phone. -It's all right.
Because I have to be somewhere.
-How rude. -Yeah, I'm really late.
-I'm gonna run. Sorry. -Go.
I loved our judgment-free zone, and I would like to hang out again.
-We're gonna. -Okay.
-I'm sorry. -It's good.
-Bye. -See you later.
I notice a lot of girls on Tinder,
their profiles will be very specific about what they want.
I think that shows how desperate a lot of guys are.
-Our profiles are blank. -[audience laughing]
My profile would be like, "If you're racist, we'll work on it."
Like, "I'm a feminist, but women do be shopping, though."
And then fireworks in the background and shit.
They say opinions are like assholes, and I agree
in that I wish my girlfriend cared more about mine.
I don't want to go to your house,
'cause it smells like Diet Coke and divorce.
Grindr is actually a dick pic trading platform
where guys sometimes accidentally meet up with each other.
My full name is Odinaka Malachi Ezeokoli.
My parents' names are Ben and Monica.
[all laughing]
I'm Nigerian, I think. I don't know. I don't know, man.
I grew up in America and Nigeria. That makes me Dominican. Maybe.
[all laughing]
I had this other homeboy, Umbeka. He was similar to me but different.
He came to America from Nigeria at, like, ten years old.
He didn't know what black stereotypes were.
So kids be fucking with him,
and he had no idea what they were talking about.
This kid walked up to him like, "Bet you like that watermelon, don't ya?"
"Yes.
[all laughing]
Pretty delicious."
They stopped fucking with him after that.
I think that's my time. My name is Odinaka. Good night.
[all cheer and applaud]
[man] All right. Odinaka!
The bookstore is closed. We got to get out of here, guys.
-[chattering] -[laughing]
Send me a message? We'll make up.
-What's up? -You going to Cole's?
I got to go Uber tonight, yeah.
-All right. -Unfortunately.
-I'll see you later. -Okay. See ya.
A lot of the bar culture in the US is not about dancing.
-[Odinaka] Yeah. -And...
You find a bar, it's like, "This place is perfect.
I just wish there was an actual space to dance and feel comfortable."
Yeah. And you can really get a sense for somebody's energy by dancing with them.
I feel you with that, for sure.
I should never have done journalism. I know that.
I should have been a doctor or lawyer.
-And be like other Indian dudes? [laughs] -Yeah.
-That's what I should have done, 100%. -Followed that path?
I should have just sold out.
[laughs] Yeah. I guess like most immigrant parents.
Doctor, lawyer, engineer.
-Your parents are happy with comedy? -Hell, no.
You kidding me? No, they hate that I do this shit.
I might as well be smoking crack to my parents.
-[laughs] -[Odinaka] Shit.
[woman] The great thing about being confirmed in the Catholic church,
I can do whatever I want for years and then just ask for forgiveness,
and I go to heaven while most of you burn in hell forever.
That's a joke, you guys.
Nigeria has some shit I've never seen. It had a bounce with it.
It had its own axis.
Like, "I'm going to the market. I'm going to the market."
It's like they was carrying their ancestors.
"I'm going to the market. We are going to the market. We! All of us!"
[laughs]
Aw, shit. I can barely pick it up.
Y'all saw that bullshit attempt I just made.
I got a minute. I'm already done, huh?
-What is it, 30 seconds? -[woman] You have 20 seconds.
How do I land this?
I...
Shit, man.
Yeah.
I think that's it. Is that it? I think that's it.
-Okay, I'm done. -[audience cheers]
-[Sally] Are you funny? -[laughs]
Man, that question. I'm like... I mean...
What's your stand up about?
I guess I'm autobiographical.
I tell stories about growing up in America and Nigeria
and not fitting in either.
-[laughs] Nice. -Yeah.
[chuckles] Yeah, pretty much.
What about you? What do you do?
Well, I also write about myself.
So, equally narcissistic.
Yes. Okay. Birds of a feather. Same boat.
Yeah. I write a lot of essays.
They tend to deal with sexuality and...
contemporary feminism.
Or criticizing contemporary feminism more recently these days.
Criticize contemporary feminism? What do you mean?
Um... I go on a lot of angry rants
where I basically critique female sexual victimization,
which I think is increasingly a central part of certain factions
of the feminist movement.
-Yeah. -So I pretty much...
I basically write, like, a ton of pro-slut manifestos,
sort of disguised as personal essays that are meant to be entertaining.
Okay. That sounds really dope, actually.
[laughs] I'll send you a link.
For sure. I'd love to see that.
Thank you.
[elevator bell dings]
-Oh! Hi, there. -[chuckles] How are you doing?
-How are you? -Good.
-You look fabulous. -Thank you. You, too.
I like purple.
-[door closes] -So good to see you.
I have some projects. I'v e got some irons in the fire.
Just waiting for one of them to get hot.
TV stuff?
Yeah. Yeah, TV.
Mostly TV. What's the story with your writing?
-It's good. -Yeah.
Going.
Is it true you're never safe around a writer?
[chuckles] That might be true, actually.
I'm that person that writes things down when people say funny stuff.
-Really? -Mm-hmm.
You should get your notebook out right now, 'cause...
So, a friend told me that you're allowed
to be given $14,000 a year, tax free, as a gift.
So, I've had,
actually, I've had two clients give me $14,000 checks.
And I paid them 14 grand in cash.
Yeah. So I've laundered, successfully, $28,000.
Wow.
Oh!
-You deserve that? -I've been bad.
-Really? -Yeah. Ow...
-Oh. -Oh.
Mmm.
[both groaning]
Mm-hmm. Slowly. Slowly.
You can go slower.
-So bad. -[laughs]
[Sally moans]
Yeah.
-Yeah? -Uh-huh.
[moaning]
[alarm beeping]
Good morning. Happy Wednesday. Today there will be bridge lifts, okay?
Sales people, make sure you guys are communicating as usual.
Charlie, 2008 will start at Michigan Avenue Bridge.
I think there were a couple of switches on the sheets.
Charlie, 805 should be on there.
Have a great day out there. Do what you do best.
-All right, guys. Let's go. -All right.
-[woman] Hi! -[Odinaka] Hey. How you doing?
-Good morning. -[woman] He has the tickets.
[man] Thanks, man.
[Odinaka] We are coming up on where Chicago started, at this intersection.
Michigan and Whacker is where Fort Dearborn was.
It's the military base that preceded Chicago.
Jean-Baptist-Point Du Sable was here before that.
Is it really a mile long?
[Odinaka] The Magnificent Mile? No, no.
It's called the Magnificent Mile,
but it's actually about three-quarters of a mile.
A marketing guy came up with the term. Real catchy.
[man] Kosciuszko.
[Odinaka] There's a bridge in New York named after the same guy.
Apparently, he was a big deal.
This guy with the gyroscope?
Copernicus. He was the first guy to tell us that the world is round.
Press the button. You know how to do that?
I can press a button.
But thank you, sir. I appreciate it.
All right. One, two, three... wow!
One crazy one. One, two, three... [screams]
Love it. All right.
-Thank you. Appreciate it. -Great tour.
Thanks. Appreciate it.
Thank you. I appreciate it. Thanks.
This is it.
-It's nice. -Thank you.
Nice rug.
[Sally] Do you want a drink?
-Yeah. I'd love one, actually. -Okay.
You look like someone that would have created an app.
[laughs] Is it cause I'm Indian?
-I didn't mean it like that. -I'm kidding.
You just were born and are apparently rich.
That's fair enough.
I was hoping that we could not have too much touching.
Okay. Yeah.
-I have a girlfriend. -Okay.
And I can't cheat on her. So...
I was kind of hoping, you know...
It's gonna sound so... Okay, I watch porn,
and that's not cheating.
And so I was hoping this could be like porn but, like, in real life.
-Like, IRL porn. You know? -[both chuckle]
-I can make that happen for you. -Okay.
[moaning]
Okay, no. No, no, no.
Can't be kissing you.
[laughs] You're leaving me hanging a little bit.
I like to be spanked.
-Oh, my God. -Please.
-No. No. -Please.
[laughs]
I don't know what I'm doing. Where am I?
-Hey, no. Calm down. -I'm just...
Doing this in a respectful way with a neutral person,
who doesn't have your phone number, is not going to blow up your phone,
who's not gonna expect anything from you.
-No emotional attachment. -Yeah.
Is a positive thing because...
otherwise, you're just gonna get to a breaking point,
and you're gonna end your relationship.
-Physically, I want to continue. -Yeah.
Emotionally, it's probably not a good idea.
[moans] Oh, my God.
-I'm gonna come. -Oh, my God.
I want you to. I'm gonna come with you. [moans]
-[Odinaka] Hey. -[woman] Are you Odika?
-Odinaka. -Odinaka?
Yeah, that's me.
You do decently, driving an Uber?
Uh, it's all right. You know, I pay my bills.
-Yeah? -Yeah, I do this,
and I got this other job where I give tours of the city.
I'm a City of Chicago tour guide.
Between those two things, uh, it balances out.
There's not been a thousand deaths in a year since then.
Are they tearing down all the projects like they are in Atlanta?
-They're gone. -They're gone, right?
They're done. It's been a decade. There's, like, three left.
Where are all the poor people?
[laughs] "Where the poor people?"
What were you gonna say? Because you said, "Where are all the..."
and then you said, "poor people." You adjusted.
-That's not true. That's not true. -[laughs] You adjusted.
-Come on, Atlanta, you ain't fooling me. -You're right.
I'm really uncomfortable in this ride and the fact that you have a car.
I was surprised.
-[laughs] -No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding.
I don't know what I thought I'd prove to myself,
that I could do a play in Chicago.
But it's ended up being just kind of, like, a very deep exercise in loneliness.
I don't mean to laugh.
No, it's okay. I'm sort of outside of rehearsals.
I'm just kind of in this condo watching TV and jerking off and...
Yeah.
Is that okay?
[moans]
[Sally] You have a nice body.
Such a contraption.
I know. Too much clothes.
[moans] Whoa!
You're so strong.
I feel lucky to be alive now,
because being my size even five, seven years ago was not cool.
It was, like, pro-ano times.
-What'd you say? -Pro-ano.
Like pro-anorexia?
And I'm like, "Word. This is working for me."
Yeah, it's working for me.
It's working for you? Okay. I'm glad.
It's for you.
[chuckles]
Good spanking.
"Hey, Doritos! This is some bullshit, man.
I get my six-year-old these chips,
now y'all stuffing the gay agenda down his throat
and he'll grow up to suck dick."
-I was like, "Wait a minute, sir. -[audience laughs]
That's not how snacks work at all."
I was watching sci-fi with my ex.
And he's cleaning up around the house.
He picks up some of my hairs.
I've never seen this man throw the hairs away.
And I'm like, sci-fi. This is the part where I get cloned.
I'm about to get cloned, right?
First black woman ever cloned.
What a dubious honor, considering the circumstances,
but I'll take it.
Then I'm like, "Rebecca, joke's on him. This is a weave."
It's gonna be a motherfucking horse.
Victory. I consider that a victory.
I'm so happy to bring this guy up.
He's one of the funniest in this city.
So just turn up right now for Odinaka Ezeokoli.
[all cheer and applaud]
Yo. What's up? How we doing?
-Doing good? -[all] Yeah.
Are you hungry? Maybe we get a drink and then go out.
-Yeah, that sounds great. -Yeah?
Yeah, I'm down.
Steak, you eat steak?
-I eat whatever you want to eat, man. -Okay.
-Guys, how you doing? -What's up, Cole?
Whatever the gentleman would like.
-I'll have a Negra Modelo. -[Cole] Sure. Got it.
[Jay] Negroni?
-I'll make it. -Thanks.
-Hey! -Hi. How are you?
-Thanks for coming. -Wow! This is kind of amazing.
-You liked my doorman? -Yeah.
-I loved your doorman. -Good view.
[gasps]
What?
-It's good, right? -How did you do...
[Annabelle chuckles] How do you do this?
You want some tea? I just made some.
So you've written screenplays and sold them
and you're collecting residuals and you just didn't want to tell me?
Oh, yeah. I wish. Um...
No. So...
Yeah, the money situation, I mean...
I...
I don't usually tell people this, but I feel like you're non-judgmental
or that you are judgmental, but in the right way.
But I'm basically a hooker.
Yeah.
-Wait. Are... -Reveal!
-You're a... -[laughs]
-That's such a... -[exclaims]
[Sally laughs]
-Digest. -Yeah.
[stammers] Do you have an agency? Are you working through an agency or...
-No. I'm independent. -Okay.
I make all the money myself.
I worked at an agency for a couple of months,
and I was like, "This is crazy."
-'Cause they take half of the money. -Yes.
Yes. So, why am I paying some creepy guy?
And how are you safe?
You know what I mean?
-How do you vet people? -Vet people?
So, there's an unexpected system of support
within the industry of girls.
I don't see any people
who don't have references of other people who they've seen.
-Does that make sense? -Yeah.
If a guy wants to see me, he e-mails me.
And I'm like, "Do you have any references of other girls you've seen?"
He would send me their sites
so I can see they're real people.
And then I e-mail them directly and say, "Have you seen Ted?"
Then they're like, "Yeah, he's 35 and safe."
-And he's not an ax murderer. -Right. Literally, yeah.
Or they'll be like, "Yes, but beware, he's really overweight."
-"Here's the thing about Ted." -Yes, exactly.
-And it's really cool. -Ted.
[chuckles] Yes. Ted. Everyone knows a Ted.
You're blowing people, but you're also being like,
"Tell me about your problems. What's the thing with your divorce?
That's so-and-so crazy about your job. What about the stock market?"
I know so much about the stock market.
Do you mean it?
I imagine that you would be genuinely comforting.
-Are you? Or do they say, "You're cold." -Yeah.
[both laugh]
No.
I don't know you well enough to know.
I'm not cold.
That's the amazing thing about
the way that sex workers are portrayed in the media.
They're always cold, robotic monsters.
Like, in order to fuck people for money, you must be an emotionless robot person.
But the reality is that the most successful sex workers
are the opposite because you have to make someone feel good.
Now, have you told men that you're dating?
It doesn't go over well.
Tell me a little bit about this TV project.
Yeah. Well, you saw my story.
I grew up here in the States, and I went to high school in Nigeria.
'Cause my parents wanted us to know where we're from.
Meet our grandparents, basic shit like that.
Learn the language.
And it's like putting that journey on TV.
Being a kid in America, going to boarding school in Nigeria,
and I guess I would think about it as like Freaks and Geeks in Nigeria.
In a Nigerian boarding school with all Nigerian kids.
You're in the school, you're in that world,
and that world is foreign to the audience,
but it's also foreign to the main guy, who's there.
You have a voice. You have a unique, fresh, original voice.
And I can't create that.
I can only add structure, you know?
I can help with people. I can bring in people.
I can bring in a director.
I can bring in writers, but I'm sorry, I'm already...
This is what I do. I'm already jumping into things.
Yeah. You seem real comfortable doing that jumping.
-Yeah. You're really into it. -[laughs]
I always say that comedians are like the canary in the coal mine.
-Like artists, except they're louder. -Uh-huh.
And they're the ones that we have to listen to.
'Cause it's a funny way of being serious. Isn't that what...
Yeah. I guess it's what I'd say.
Anyhow, I'm getting too philosophical, but you get my meaning.
-No, I appreciate the nice things, man. -Yeah.
Before we go any further, should I be dealing with your agent?
If I'm interested in...
I don't have an agent.
No, it's always just me. Yeah.
All right, well, so, we can be in touch more directly, then.
Yeah, I'm open.
-Yeah. Okay. -Yeah. Yeah.
Thank you. Thanks.
-She likes you. -Please.
-Did you get her number? -I did not.
It's good to see you. What brought you here?
Just got a few projects. A few meetings.
Yeah. I met with this Nigerian comic
that I've been corresponding with, and he's good.
He's gonna be at an open mic next door that I'm gonna go to.
-This open mic? -Right.
I know this open mic.
I've been thinking about doing it.
-That's so weird. Yeah. -Really?
Maybe I'll meet you guys, right? I mean, I could...
If you want to do it, you should do it.
-Maybe I'll do it. -Do it.
-I should do it. -That'll be fun.
Yeah, I have had a lot of things that I want to say.
And maybe that would be a good place to.
-Annabelle Jones, stand-up comedian? -[laughs] No.
-We're going to meet the grandparents. -[Odinaka] The grandparents.
-He's going to meet his grandparents. -Yeah. It's a he?
I'm going to meet them too because it's the first time they are grandparents,
so I have no idea how they're gonna be.
-They're gonna change up. -Oh, my God.
-I'm sure they're super excited. -Mm-hmm.
So, your husband's not... Is he already there?
-You gonna meet him there-- -No.
No, no, no. He's working a lot here.
Okay.
-He's, like, so busy, all the time. -Yeah.
He wanted to go, but it's almost impossible for him.
-Yeah. -Yeah.
-[mic whines] -Hey, one, two.
One, two. Can y'all hear me in the back?
One, two. One, two.
-Is that... Hey! -[Annabelle] Hey!
Yo, Jay.
-Hey. -Yo.
-How you doing? -Doing good.
-What's happening? -How you been?
-I've been great. -Glad to see you. This is Annabelle.
-Hi. -Hey.
Annabelle Jones, nice to meet you.
What's up, Annabelle?
-Nice to meet you. -You, too.
I've heard a lot about your stuff.
-It's really funny. It's nice to meet you. -Cool. Thanks.
So I think I want to go up tonight. Is that okay?
-You want to sign up? -I think so.
-It's okay? -Definitely. That's why we're here.
-There's room? -Definitely.
I've never done it before.
Nah, you good.
-I don't want to harsh anybody's mellow. -[laughs]
That's not gonna happen.
It's gonna be great.
-Hey, hi. -Hey.
-It's so good to see you. -Same.
Thank you for coming.
I'm very excited to hear your rant.
So glad you're here.
-Are you prepared? -No.
-Perfect. -No, I'm not. Not at all.
-You're going to be funny. -Okay.
Jay. Jay, Jay. This is my new friend Sally.
-Nice to meet you. -Sally.
And this is OD. OD, Sally.
-Hey. Sally, what's up? -Uber!
This is my new friend Sally. What are you talking about?
He drove me in an Uber, like, three days ago.
-Yeah. Yeah. -Amazing!
We, like, slit our wrists and the blood. All that stuff.
It's a small world.
And you're not dating, are you?
-No. No. -Okay.
-No, no, no. -No, we're old friends. No.
-[Odinaka] All right. -Okay.
Hate speech is free speech, you fuckers.
Like, I have to be free to hate people.
I'm not gonna like everybody.
Stop telling my-- I'm, like, don't tell me--
I'm gonna calm down for a second.
What is this, "Where's the moment of consent?"
Have you guys heard that? Have you men dealt with this?
Has any woman ever accused you of rape?
It happens all the time now.
I won't think you're a rapist.
My dad never said, "I want to dance at your wedding."
It was like, "What are you going to do with your life?"
It was, like, I got to have a career.
And what I was told is that I could have a career and kids.
It'll all just happen, you know.
And it doesn't. Not for everybody.
But, man-spreading. Mansplaining, we covered.
-[Jay] Get off. Now get off. -[Annabelle] What?