1 00:00:06,005 --> 00:00:09,300 [Jacob] I find that if you can... 2 00:00:09,384 --> 00:00:12,470 not change your clothes too often, 3 00:00:12,554 --> 00:00:15,807 and if you don't clutter your life with, you know, children... 4 00:00:16,391 --> 00:00:19,561 a broad swathe of people of all ages, 5 00:00:19,644 --> 00:00:24,023 you know, will still gravitate to your existential plight. 6 00:00:24,107 --> 00:00:27,235 If you keep it selfish and keep it aggravated... 7 00:00:27,318 --> 00:00:28,862 -[woman] Mm-hmm. -that's timeless. 8 00:00:28,945 --> 00:00:30,822 [all laugh] 9 00:00:30,905 --> 00:00:31,948 Words to live by. 10 00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:34,534 Anything you wanna add before we let you go? 11 00:00:34,617 --> 00:00:39,664 Yes, I would like everybody to buy the book... for a second time, even. 12 00:00:39,748 --> 00:00:40,665 Um... 13 00:00:41,332 --> 00:00:43,543 And... No. 14 00:00:46,171 --> 00:00:48,381 Thank you for coming, seriously. 15 00:00:48,465 --> 00:00:52,469 The 20th anniversary edition of Conjugality is out next month, 16 00:00:52,552 --> 00:00:55,597 but you can pre-order it right here at Quimby's. 17 00:00:55,680 --> 00:00:57,682 Support your local bookstore. 18 00:00:57,766 --> 00:00:59,601 Jacob, thank you so much. 19 00:00:59,684 --> 00:01:01,603 Thank you, Alison. It's great talking to you. 20 00:01:01,686 --> 00:01:03,104 Thank you. 21 00:01:04,230 --> 00:01:05,857 ♪ You keep on running ♪ 22 00:01:05,940 --> 00:01:07,317 ♪ Keep running ♪ 23 00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:10,779 ♪ You keep on running away ♪ 24 00:01:11,738 --> 00:01:14,532 -"Mention your Twitter!" -That's my job-- 25 00:01:14,616 --> 00:01:17,911 To hold up pads at an event that your client's doing? 26 00:01:17,994 --> 00:01:20,121 That's the only way I can reach you, apparently. 27 00:01:20,205 --> 00:01:23,208 I'm just trying to, you know, close strong with a nice-- 28 00:01:23,291 --> 00:01:25,960 You won't even acknowledge social media. It's insane. 29 00:01:26,044 --> 00:01:27,879 Why is it insane? I don't wanna do it. 30 00:01:27,962 --> 00:01:29,214 -You really need-- -What's up? 31 00:01:29,297 --> 00:01:32,926 I don't know if you remember me... Mike from the Obscurity reading last year. 32 00:01:33,009 --> 00:01:35,553 -Dude. How are you? Good to see you. -Good. How are you? 33 00:01:35,637 --> 00:01:37,680 I'm good. That was an exciting night, right? 34 00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:38,765 [Mike] Yeah. It was crazy. 35 00:01:38,848 --> 00:01:40,308 -[Jacob] Good to see you. -You too. 36 00:01:40,391 --> 00:01:42,268 -We'd love to have you back. -I'd love to. 37 00:01:42,352 --> 00:01:43,436 -Thanks a lot. -Great. 38 00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:46,064 -See, that's a tangible thing-- -Does he follow you on Twitter? 39 00:01:46,147 --> 00:01:47,440 -It doesn't matter. -I doubt it. 40 00:01:47,524 --> 00:01:49,651 -Did you-- -Do you have any idea-- 41 00:01:49,734 --> 00:01:51,694 That guy works at another bookstore 42 00:01:51,778 --> 00:01:54,781 that just offered us a thing to do in the real world, 43 00:01:54,864 --> 00:01:57,325 and you're like, "Get on Twitter. Here's my pad!" 44 00:01:57,408 --> 00:02:00,537 I don't think that you're literate in the language that I'm literate in. 45 00:02:00,620 --> 00:02:01,996 I don't even understand you. 46 00:02:02,747 --> 00:02:04,415 -I know, and that's what-- -Hey. I'm sorry. 47 00:02:04,499 --> 00:02:07,669 -I gotta go, but I just really wanted to-- -Yeah, me too. Let's go. 48 00:02:07,752 --> 00:02:09,129 -I'll see you later, Lauren. -Yeah. 49 00:02:09,212 --> 00:02:11,381 -[Jacob] Good to see you. Just walk. -Nice to meet you. 50 00:02:11,464 --> 00:02:12,423 -Jesus. -Unbelievable. 51 00:02:13,049 --> 00:02:17,595 The online presence is absolutely necessary these days 52 00:02:17,679 --> 00:02:18,680 to sell anything. 53 00:02:18,763 --> 00:02:20,014 It's got nothing to do with me. 54 00:02:20,098 --> 00:02:22,559 I hope she's not tweeting as me. That would make me upset. 55 00:02:22,642 --> 00:02:25,395 -She's not tweeting as you. -I don't like the whole thing. 56 00:02:25,478 --> 00:02:27,730 She's tweeting about the project. All right? 57 00:02:27,814 --> 00:02:31,317 I didn't call to talk about social media or Lauren. 58 00:02:31,401 --> 00:02:34,821 -I called to talk about Karen. -Karen? 59 00:02:34,904 --> 00:02:37,615 I know we spoke about this. We didn't make a decision on it, 60 00:02:37,699 --> 00:02:41,452 but I really think that Karen should be contacted-- 61 00:02:41,536 --> 00:02:43,997 I haven't even talked to her in eight years. 62 00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:46,374 I haven't talked to her in eight years. 63 00:02:46,457 --> 00:02:48,084 If you haven't talked to her in eight years, 64 00:02:48,167 --> 00:02:49,669 she may have softened somewhat. 65 00:02:49,752 --> 00:02:51,671 That's why she calls me all the time. 66 00:02:53,172 --> 00:02:54,048 [sighs] 67 00:02:54,132 --> 00:02:56,801 Either way, it's a love story about the two of you, 68 00:02:56,885 --> 00:02:58,803 and it's missing half of the picture. 69 00:02:58,887 --> 00:03:02,098 I know, that was always her complaint in the second book. 70 00:03:02,181 --> 00:03:05,685 "How come I'm not in this?" And, "Who's that other lady?" 71 00:03:05,768 --> 00:03:08,980 Yeah, that happened. Did you read the second book, Amanda? 72 00:03:09,814 --> 00:03:10,940 Yes, I read it. 73 00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:15,278 But we're focusing on the first one, so we don't need much from her. 74 00:03:15,361 --> 00:03:20,033 Just even an online little article, quote, something. 75 00:03:20,116 --> 00:03:21,910 I'll give it to you right now. 76 00:03:21,993 --> 00:03:24,787 Quote, "Jacob Malco is an asshole who hurt me 77 00:03:24,871 --> 00:03:28,708 and dragged me through it publicly. Karen, his ex-wife." 78 00:03:29,584 --> 00:03:31,210 That works. I could live with that. 79 00:03:31,294 --> 00:03:32,670 -No. No. -All right? 80 00:03:33,546 --> 00:03:35,048 This is where I was in January-- 81 00:03:35,131 --> 00:03:36,716 -There's no coyotes in Chicago. -There are! 82 00:03:36,799 --> 00:03:39,219 -I told you, a coyote came-- -You saw a dog. 83 00:03:39,302 --> 00:03:41,262 There's coyotes and everybody knows it. 84 00:03:41,346 --> 00:03:46,684 Look, they want me to reach out to Karen. I mean, that is-- I can't do that. 85 00:03:46,768 --> 00:03:49,812 -They want me to have her do a blurb. -Why would they want you to do that? 86 00:03:49,896 --> 00:03:52,315 -Or to do an article... -Uh-huh. 87 00:03:52,398 --> 00:03:55,109 I can't do that to her. I put her through enough, number one. 88 00:03:55,193 --> 00:03:56,986 Number two, there's no way she would do it. 89 00:03:57,070 --> 00:03:59,530 No, but I understand why they want you to do that. 90 00:03:59,614 --> 00:04:02,116 -Right. -But I get it, that it's awkward. 91 00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:04,577 But here's the thing. I saw her. I did see her. 92 00:04:04,661 --> 00:04:05,703 -What? -I saw her. 93 00:04:05,787 --> 00:04:09,457 [stammers] I was coming out of, um, Dr. Cath's office. 94 00:04:09,540 --> 00:04:13,169 -You saw Karen? -Yeah! After my therapy. 95 00:04:13,795 --> 00:04:17,131 -I came out, and she was at that café-- -How many times did you see Karen? 96 00:04:17,215 --> 00:04:19,634 What's that café... Wait, do you have any coins? 97 00:04:19,717 --> 00:04:20,718 -'Cause I wanna-- -For what? 98 00:04:20,802 --> 00:04:23,096 I'm gonna throw a coin in the fountain and make a wish. 99 00:04:23,179 --> 00:04:24,681 -Are you five? -It's a pretty day. 100 00:04:24,764 --> 00:04:26,766 I know, but that's not a wishing well. 101 00:04:26,849 --> 00:04:28,142 -All right-- -Just... 102 00:04:28,226 --> 00:04:32,188 I talk to her, but not a lot. She knows I'm your friend, so... 103 00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:37,026 But my point is I saw her and I have her number if you wanted to call her. 104 00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:38,403 What's she doing? How did she look? 105 00:04:38,486 --> 00:04:39,946 Does she have kids? Is she married? 106 00:04:40,029 --> 00:04:41,990 -Where'd you see her? -I'm sorry. You're upset. 107 00:04:42,073 --> 00:04:44,284 -I'm not upset. Where'd you see her? -You're upset. 108 00:04:44,367 --> 00:04:45,952 I'm not upset. Why would you keep saying that? 109 00:04:46,035 --> 00:04:46,953 'Cause you're upset. 110 00:04:47,036 --> 00:04:50,873 -Where'd you see her? [groans] -Give me a coin. Do you have coins? 111 00:04:50,957 --> 00:04:51,958 I have a nickel. 112 00:04:52,041 --> 00:04:53,459 [gasps] 113 00:04:54,502 --> 00:04:55,503 -Go throw it in. -Wait. 114 00:04:55,586 --> 00:04:57,088 -No, you gotta-- -Shh! 115 00:04:57,171 --> 00:04:59,674 Make a wish. Just make a wish. Ready? 116 00:05:01,426 --> 00:05:02,802 [coin splashes] 117 00:05:03,386 --> 00:05:05,805 It didn't come true. You threw it. 118 00:05:06,472 --> 00:05:10,268 Yes, I'm excited about the re-release of the book. 119 00:05:10,351 --> 00:05:13,438 I'm sorry, I've answered that question a lot today, but-- 120 00:05:13,521 --> 00:05:16,399 Uh, okay, Dan, I think we have time for one more question. 121 00:05:16,482 --> 00:05:17,984 [Dan] I think that's all I've got. 122 00:05:18,067 --> 00:05:22,822 But I'll just say that I'm a huge fan, and it's a real pleasure to talk to you. 123 00:05:22,905 --> 00:05:24,699 -Thanks. Appreciate that. -Great. 124 00:05:25,408 --> 00:05:27,785 Okay, thank you. I'll talk to you soon. 125 00:05:27,869 --> 00:05:29,412 - Thanks a lot. -Bye. 126 00:05:30,204 --> 00:05:31,831 [Jacob sighs] 127 00:05:31,914 --> 00:05:32,915 Okay. 128 00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:37,503 Um... It looks like we have ten minutes until your next interview. 129 00:05:37,587 --> 00:05:39,130 -Yeah. -I don't know if you wanna... 130 00:05:39,213 --> 00:05:40,631 -Can I have a Diet Coke? -Yes. 131 00:05:40,715 --> 00:05:43,593 -And I'm gonna take a little snooze. -On that note... 132 00:05:43,676 --> 00:05:45,678 -A little nappy. -I have Karen's number. 133 00:05:45,762 --> 00:05:47,847 -I'm thinking-- -What did you just say? 134 00:05:47,930 --> 00:05:49,932 -What did you just say? -Okay. I've-- 135 00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:52,351 How did you just present that? "I have Karen's number." 136 00:05:52,435 --> 00:05:55,605 -Here's what I'm thinking. -Like in that cute little way, and... 137 00:05:55,688 --> 00:05:57,732 that's not gonna sound like you're coercing me. 138 00:05:57,815 --> 00:06:01,569 I'm trying to integrate it naturally into the flow of the conversation. 139 00:06:01,652 --> 00:06:02,653 "I have her number." 140 00:06:02,737 --> 00:06:05,406 What you're saying is,"I'm gonna call Karen unless you do something." 141 00:06:05,490 --> 00:06:07,575 Are you the same person I talked to a few days ago, 142 00:06:07,658 --> 00:06:09,911 or do you have a twin that's equally as irritating? 143 00:06:09,994 --> 00:06:11,954 -I'm an only child. -No Karen. It's not happening. 144 00:06:12,038 --> 00:06:15,249 Okay. I'm just trying to help. I guess you don't wanna generate-- 145 00:06:15,333 --> 00:06:20,046 Shut up. I can't go through another round of whatever it is you do. 146 00:06:21,464 --> 00:06:22,799 -Bad idea. -Okay. 147 00:06:22,882 --> 00:06:24,217 -Red flag for me. -Okay. 148 00:06:24,300 --> 00:06:25,343 You're seeing a red flag. 149 00:06:25,426 --> 00:06:27,887 Do you know where Everybody's Coffee is? 150 00:06:27,970 --> 00:06:29,514 -Yes. -Meet me there tomorrow. 151 00:06:29,597 --> 00:06:31,516 I'll text you or e-mail you the time. 152 00:06:31,599 --> 00:06:35,019 This is so stupid, but I believe that it will prove to you 153 00:06:35,103 --> 00:06:38,898 why this is not a good situation, and we'll put an end to it. 154 00:06:38,981 --> 00:06:41,275 -Okay. -I don't think this is a good idea at all. 155 00:06:41,359 --> 00:06:42,652 But we're gonna do it. 156 00:06:42,735 --> 00:06:45,154 We're gonna do it. You know why? 'Cause you won. 157 00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:48,324 You've annoyed me to the point where I'm gonna do something stupid. 158 00:06:48,407 --> 00:06:49,617 You're gonna thank me. 159 00:06:49,700 --> 00:06:51,869 -I'm excited. Thank you. -Can I have a Diet Coke? 160 00:06:51,953 --> 00:06:54,080 -Can I have a Diet Coke? -You have earned it. 161 00:06:54,789 --> 00:06:56,207 -This is progress. -All right. 162 00:06:56,290 --> 00:06:58,000 -This feels really good. -Stop, stop, stop. 163 00:07:01,003 --> 00:07:02,004 -[man] Hey. -Hi. 164 00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:05,508 -How's it going? -Can I get a drip? 165 00:07:05,591 --> 00:07:07,677 But do you mind putting it in a to-go cup today? 166 00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:09,220 -Yeah, sure. -Thanks. 167 00:07:21,732 --> 00:07:22,650 [Jacob] Karen. 168 00:07:22,733 --> 00:07:23,985 -Oh, my God. -I know. 169 00:07:24,902 --> 00:07:26,404 -Hi. -Hi. 170 00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:29,323 -It's good to see you. -Yeah. 171 00:07:29,407 --> 00:07:31,784 -Wow. This is wild. -That is just... 172 00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:34,745 [exhales] I know. I was just gonna grab some coffee. 173 00:07:34,829 --> 00:07:37,874 Are you taking off? I didn't even know this place was here. 174 00:07:37,957 --> 00:07:40,710 -Oh. -What's happening? How are you doing? 175 00:07:40,793 --> 00:07:43,713 Uh... I'm... I'm... 176 00:07:45,173 --> 00:07:46,716 [stammers] I'm fine. 177 00:07:46,799 --> 00:07:48,468 -You look great. -Yeah. Thanks. 178 00:07:48,551 --> 00:07:51,471 It's so wild, 'cause I've been... I've been in it. 179 00:07:51,554 --> 00:07:54,640 I've been in us lately, 'cause they're coming out with this... 180 00:07:55,892 --> 00:08:00,980 This anniversary edition of Conjugality. Of our book. 181 00:08:01,063 --> 00:08:02,857 And I've just been-- I don't know. 182 00:08:02,940 --> 00:08:04,942 There's supplementary material, some new stuff, 183 00:08:05,026 --> 00:08:06,235 the cover's a little different. 184 00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:08,738 -And there you are. -What do you mean, there's new stuff? 185 00:08:08,821 --> 00:08:10,740 -Just drawings. -Huh? 186 00:08:10,823 --> 00:08:12,283 -No. -What drawings? 187 00:08:12,366 --> 00:08:14,827 Of you, me... You know, the regular stuff 188 00:08:14,911 --> 00:08:16,412 -from that time. -New ones? 189 00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:18,789 No, they're not new. From then. From then. 190 00:08:18,873 --> 00:08:22,376 -I have, uh... folders of stuff. -Wait, ones that weren't in the book? 191 00:08:22,460 --> 00:08:23,961 Right. But from that time. 192 00:08:24,045 --> 00:08:28,007 But they're not-- Why are you upset already? 193 00:08:28,090 --> 00:08:30,676 -I mean, it was 20 years ago. -I'm not upset. 194 00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:32,345 Oh, it's shocking? It's exciting, though. 195 00:08:32,428 --> 00:08:33,429 No, it's just, um... 196 00:08:34,722 --> 00:08:35,723 All right, well-- 197 00:08:35,806 --> 00:08:40,728 Well, listen, before you go, I know this is crazy, but while you're here, 198 00:08:40,811 --> 00:08:44,899 there's no way that you would maybe write a blurb or do an interview for the book? 199 00:08:44,982 --> 00:08:47,151 Are you serious right now? 200 00:08:47,235 --> 00:08:49,654 [stammers] Yeah, I'm pretty serious. 201 00:08:49,737 --> 00:08:51,197 -The fuck is happening? -It's crazy. 202 00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:52,573 -This is crazy. -I'm sorry. 203 00:08:52,657 --> 00:08:54,742 -What is going on? -Nothing. I just-- 204 00:08:54,825 --> 00:08:56,994 Even a photograph would be so meaningful to fans. 205 00:08:57,078 --> 00:08:59,622 Why are you talking? Why are you-- 206 00:08:59,705 --> 00:09:01,624 -Oh, my God! -[Lauren] Or a comment, 207 00:09:01,707 --> 00:09:03,709 -if you're more comfortable with that. -This is so-- 208 00:09:03,793 --> 00:09:04,961 What is your fucking prob-- 209 00:09:05,044 --> 00:09:08,881 No, no, no. Karen, listen to me. No, no, no. It's not what you think. 210 00:09:08,965 --> 00:09:09,966 Oh, my God. Okay. 211 00:09:10,049 --> 00:09:11,509 [Jacob] This is exactly what I thought would happen. 212 00:09:11,592 --> 00:09:13,844 [Karen] You know what? Fuck off! Go away. Get lost. 213 00:09:13,928 --> 00:09:15,805 This is exactly what I would think would happen. 214 00:09:15,888 --> 00:09:16,722 -Really? -[camera shutter clicking] 215 00:09:16,806 --> 00:09:17,807 You're gonna stalk me in a coffee shop? 216 00:09:17,890 --> 00:09:20,226 -No, I just-- -You're gonna ask me to participate? 217 00:09:20,309 --> 00:09:21,936 -Are you high? -[Jacob] They wanted you to do something. 218 00:09:22,019 --> 00:09:23,938 I said you wouldn't do it, and I just did it anyways. 219 00:09:24,021 --> 00:09:28,442 -It was stupid, but it's nice to see you. -You know what? You are a bad man. 220 00:09:28,526 --> 00:09:30,903 -I'm bad? I mean, I'm flawed. -You are. You're a bad-- 221 00:09:30,987 --> 00:09:32,738 You know, you're a bad, bad man. 222 00:09:32,822 --> 00:09:35,241 [Jacob] All right. All right! Can we do a selfie? 223 00:09:35,783 --> 00:09:37,118 That was really exciting. 224 00:09:37,201 --> 00:09:39,161 Wait, I could... 'Cause I'd be nice to you? 225 00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:40,538 Now we're becoming whole. 226 00:09:40,621 --> 00:09:42,623 Is this your inner self being nice to you? 227 00:09:42,707 --> 00:09:45,793 -Now we're whole. See? -Yeah. We should do this more often. 228 00:09:46,377 --> 00:09:49,213 I'm just not sexually attracted to you. [laughs] 229 00:09:49,297 --> 00:09:50,590 That's the thing. I'm sorry. 230 00:09:50,673 --> 00:09:53,843 You're sexually attractive and everything, but we don't have that... 231 00:09:53,926 --> 00:09:56,345 -We don't have that... -I think I owe, uh... 232 00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:58,598 I think I owe Karen some sort of... 233 00:10:00,391 --> 00:10:02,977 Like, I think that I need closure. 234 00:10:03,644 --> 00:10:07,148 Do you ever, though, think that maybe you could've just hung in and... 235 00:10:07,231 --> 00:10:08,441 Yeah, but do you want-- 236 00:10:08,524 --> 00:10:11,360 Why do people think that marriage has to be fun all the time? 237 00:10:12,028 --> 00:10:15,239 Or great all the time? Maybe it was just in a rough patch. 238 00:10:15,323 --> 00:10:18,284 -I was dying inside. -Maybe you just felt like you were dying. 239 00:10:18,367 --> 00:10:20,328 How long do rough patches go on for? 240 00:10:20,411 --> 00:10:23,581 Honest to God, when I first sat down here, you felt like you were dying. 241 00:10:23,664 --> 00:10:25,916 I can't remember what it was that was bothering you now, 242 00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:28,628 and I'm sure you can't either. That's what I'm talking about. 243 00:10:28,711 --> 00:10:30,046 -Huh. -You know, like, 244 00:10:30,129 --> 00:10:32,590 perhaps you had a really great thing, 245 00:10:32,673 --> 00:10:35,801 -and you got impatient, and... -Yeah, we did... 246 00:10:35,885 --> 00:10:38,596 And all of a sudden, there's prenatal vitamins in the-- 247 00:10:38,679 --> 00:10:41,432 -I don't wanna-- -She was trying to have a baby. 248 00:10:41,515 --> 00:10:42,767 But I-- mnh-mnh. 249 00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:46,812 -You told her you wanted to have a baby. -No, I did not. 250 00:10:46,896 --> 00:10:50,232 Oh, my God! That's such a lie that you tell yourself. 251 00:10:50,316 --> 00:10:53,235 You told her that you agreed to have a child. 252 00:10:53,319 --> 00:10:56,864 [stammers] No, I said, I wouldn't-- I said maybe. 253 00:10:56,947 --> 00:10:58,866 -Oh, my God. -But I think the-- 254 00:10:58,949 --> 00:11:01,327 But you knew that she wanted to and you knew-- 255 00:11:01,410 --> 00:11:02,662 I thought I could talk her out of it. 256 00:11:02,745 --> 00:11:04,497 You guys were having unprotected sex. 257 00:11:04,580 --> 00:11:05,831 Yeah, but I always do. 258 00:11:07,792 --> 00:11:09,752 It doesn't feel good with the thing on. 259 00:11:11,587 --> 00:11:13,005 Are you 17? 260 00:11:14,256 --> 00:11:17,593 No. But it doesn't feel good with it. 261 00:11:18,552 --> 00:11:19,387 [groans] 262 00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:23,391 ["Temptation is Hard to Fight" playing] 263 00:11:38,030 --> 00:11:42,785 ♪ We do so many things in our lives ♪ 264 00:11:44,245 --> 00:11:48,874 ♪ Some call for sacrifice ♪ 265 00:11:50,626 --> 00:11:55,548 ♪ Some are wrong and some are right ♪ 266 00:11:56,674 --> 00:12:00,511 ♪ Some things we have to fight ♪ 267 00:12:00,594 --> 00:12:05,224 -♪ That's why ♪ -♪ Temptation is so hard to fight ♪ 268 00:12:05,349 --> 00:12:11,605 -♪ Oh, baby, I know ♪ -♪ Temptation is so hard... ♪ 269 00:12:11,730 --> 00:12:13,190 [line ringing] 270 00:12:15,901 --> 00:12:17,820 -[clicks] -Hey, it's Karen Treska. 271 00:12:17,903 --> 00:12:19,947 You can leave a message after the beep. Thanks. 272 00:12:20,030 --> 00:12:22,158 -[Jacob sniffles] -[beeps] 273 00:12:22,241 --> 00:12:27,121 I did not mean to interrupt your life, to surprise you like that. 274 00:12:27,204 --> 00:12:28,956 I'm sorry. I can explain it. 275 00:12:29,039 --> 00:12:31,208 I can explain it, but I don't wanna do that right now. 276 00:12:31,292 --> 00:12:33,711 I just wanna apologize. I'm sorry. 277 00:12:33,794 --> 00:12:37,131 [sighs] I don't know. I'm not-- 278 00:12:37,756 --> 00:12:40,217 I've been working on this, you know... 279 00:12:40,301 --> 00:12:41,635 this reissue of the book 280 00:12:41,719 --> 00:12:43,846 and I've been going through all this stuff. 281 00:12:44,305 --> 00:12:47,141 There's so much stuff. Karen, there's so much stuff. 282 00:12:47,224 --> 00:12:49,477 Smashing Pumpkins, the Cubs. 283 00:12:49,560 --> 00:12:51,854 I don't even like baseball. We went to those games. 284 00:12:51,937 --> 00:12:55,399 It was nice to see you. It was just nice to see you. Even... 285 00:12:56,192 --> 00:13:00,529 Like, right when I walked in, before it turned to garbage. 286 00:13:01,530 --> 00:13:04,116 There was a moment. There was a moment right then... 287 00:13:05,159 --> 00:13:08,621 when we saw each other, and I saw you. 288 00:13:08,704 --> 00:13:09,705 Can we just have dinner... 289 00:13:10,748 --> 00:13:15,920 like two middle-aged people that used to be married and loved each other. 290 00:13:16,003 --> 00:13:17,004 Let me know. 291 00:13:19,256 --> 00:13:20,799 Okay, bye. 292 00:13:31,185 --> 00:13:32,394 [cell phone chimes] 293 00:13:41,278 --> 00:13:42,321 [grunts] 294 00:14:01,006 --> 00:14:03,092 [customers laughing and chattering] 295 00:14:16,814 --> 00:14:18,023 -Hey. -Hi. 296 00:14:18,107 --> 00:14:19,859 -How are you? -Good. How are you? 297 00:14:20,401 --> 00:14:21,402 Okay. 298 00:14:24,029 --> 00:14:29,201 I think I need to go over some stuff with you as a grownup here. 299 00:14:29,285 --> 00:14:30,578 [Karen] Mm-hmm. 300 00:14:30,661 --> 00:14:36,041 And take responsibility for some stuff and try to make you feel sorry for me. 301 00:14:36,125 --> 00:14:38,752 [both laugh] 302 00:14:38,836 --> 00:14:40,129 -Okay. -Okay? 303 00:14:40,212 --> 00:14:41,922 -Are you in? -Right. Sure. 304 00:14:45,217 --> 00:14:46,635 [chuckles] 305 00:14:48,679 --> 00:14:50,180 [Jacob] You know what I feel bad about? 306 00:14:50,264 --> 00:14:53,976 You know, all that shit was goin' on, and I was getting successful 307 00:14:54,059 --> 00:14:55,144 and I was going to LA 308 00:14:55,227 --> 00:14:57,479 and that thing started with-- You know... 309 00:14:57,563 --> 00:14:59,481 -My mom? -No, with Melanie. 310 00:14:59,565 --> 00:15:02,151 -The thing started-- -Oh. Sorry, your affair. 311 00:15:02,234 --> 00:15:03,652 Right, that's what I was gonna say, 312 00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:05,946 is that you were going through that thing with your mom. 313 00:15:06,030 --> 00:15:07,865 -And I just-- -You can say it. 314 00:15:07,948 --> 00:15:09,199 -She was dying. -Mm-hmm. 315 00:15:13,495 --> 00:15:17,666 And I just couldn't make time to be there for that? 316 00:15:18,709 --> 00:15:19,710 No. 317 00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:26,175 [stammers] I mean, l-- Yeah, I'm sorry. 318 00:15:26,258 --> 00:15:27,259 Okay. 319 00:15:28,385 --> 00:15:29,720 Thank you for saying that. 320 00:15:29,803 --> 00:15:33,641 There's gotta be some benefit to getting old and surviving that shit. 321 00:15:33,724 --> 00:15:37,728 And I'm not expecting you to let me off the hook, but I-- 322 00:15:38,312 --> 00:15:40,689 I wasn't able to feel it then. I don't know why. 323 00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:43,525 -Fucked up, but I feel it now. -Yeah. 324 00:15:43,609 --> 00:15:49,782 I mean, I think in some weird way, in my caretaker-y way, 325 00:15:49,865 --> 00:15:52,660 where I sort of felt like I was put on the Earth 326 00:15:52,743 --> 00:15:57,539 to make sure you never had to feel anything, um, too uncomfortable or... 327 00:15:58,666 --> 00:16:01,001 unbearable, that I... 328 00:16:01,794 --> 00:16:03,671 [clears throat] probably... 329 00:16:06,632 --> 00:16:11,428 didn't let you feel like there were things you could do. 330 00:16:11,512 --> 00:16:13,847 Not that you would've necessarily known what to do. 331 00:16:13,931 --> 00:16:15,265 -Right. -But... 332 00:16:15,349 --> 00:16:16,976 But I didn't need to go... 333 00:16:17,059 --> 00:16:18,644 -Have an affair? -Right. 334 00:16:20,104 --> 00:16:22,272 -And then write a book about it? -Yeah. 335 00:16:22,356 --> 00:16:24,358 And then... [chuckles] 336 00:16:24,441 --> 00:16:26,235 Do a whole bunch of Q and A's. 337 00:16:26,318 --> 00:16:27,152 Right. 338 00:16:27,903 --> 00:16:31,782 -And a lot of interviews. -[groans] 339 00:16:31,865 --> 00:16:34,743 -And then marry... -Right, right. 340 00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:36,412 -the person... -Yeah, yeah. 341 00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:38,288 And... 342 00:16:38,372 --> 00:16:41,959 -And just justify it. -[chuckles] 343 00:16:42,042 --> 00:16:44,378 I was completely insensitive. It was fucked up. 344 00:16:44,461 --> 00:16:47,881 And I didn't know that that's the way things would pan out. 345 00:16:47,965 --> 00:16:50,009 But you didn't know things would pan out that way, 346 00:16:50,092 --> 00:16:52,636 and that's the point, is that I didn't either. 347 00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:55,514 So when you told me you were having feelings for somebody else, 348 00:16:55,597 --> 00:16:57,141 I mean, I thought that... 349 00:16:58,475 --> 00:16:59,560 It doesn't matter. 350 00:16:59,643 --> 00:17:02,479 -What? -No, I just thought that we-- 351 00:17:03,397 --> 00:17:06,650 I thought it was something that you were saying you wanted to work through. 352 00:17:06,734 --> 00:17:08,902 -Oh... -It doesn't... 353 00:17:08,986 --> 00:17:11,155 When I say it doesn't matter, it really... 354 00:17:11,238 --> 00:17:12,239 [laughs] Now it sounds like-- 355 00:17:12,322 --> 00:17:14,033 -No, it's fair. -It really doesn't matter. 356 00:17:14,116 --> 00:17:16,410 -But that's what-- -I had to commit to it. 357 00:17:16,493 --> 00:17:17,995 I didn't think there was any way-- 358 00:17:18,078 --> 00:17:21,081 Even if we were to work it out, how would you ever forgive that? 359 00:17:21,165 --> 00:17:24,168 And I didn't wanna live my whole life to be this apology 360 00:17:24,251 --> 00:17:28,047 and just, like, end up with kids, this beaten dude who fucked up, 361 00:17:28,130 --> 00:17:30,132 and his whole life is now built around that fuck up. 362 00:17:30,215 --> 00:17:32,468 How would you not have punished me for-- 363 00:17:32,551 --> 00:17:35,179 So you wanted to end it because you didn't like the narrative 364 00:17:35,262 --> 00:17:37,389 of being somebody who cheated on his wife? 365 00:17:37,931 --> 00:17:40,809 I obviously liked that narrative. I wrote a book about it. 366 00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:44,396 But I didn't wanna be the guy who was still married 367 00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:47,858 and was just this, like, beaten man 368 00:17:47,941 --> 00:17:50,944 who has to spend his whole life living in this mistake. 369 00:17:52,279 --> 00:17:54,823 I didn't feel like we could have overcome it. 370 00:17:55,699 --> 00:17:56,950 How's it going? 371 00:17:57,034 --> 00:17:58,577 [both laugh] 372 00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:06,710 All right. Mistakes averted. [laughs] 373 00:18:06,794 --> 00:18:10,380 I agree with you, and I think you're right in thinking that, 374 00:18:10,464 --> 00:18:14,802 that I did not take into consideration what you might've been going through 375 00:18:14,885 --> 00:18:16,470 or even your feelings or anything else. 376 00:18:16,553 --> 00:18:20,891 No, but it was to such a degree that it's almost feels dumb 377 00:18:20,974 --> 00:18:22,851 to apologize for it at this point. 378 00:18:24,186 --> 00:18:27,981 I don't know if it's dumb. It took me this long to recognize it. 379 00:18:28,065 --> 00:18:30,442 Yeah, but it took me this long to forget about it. 380 00:18:30,526 --> 00:18:31,527 I know. 381 00:18:32,486 --> 00:18:33,362 [snickers] 382 00:18:33,445 --> 00:18:38,033 The other thing was just, like, what was I doing? What was I doing? 383 00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:40,702 Was it real? Was it not real? I don't know. 384 00:18:40,786 --> 00:18:43,288 I don't know if I'm even capable of the real thing. 385 00:18:43,872 --> 00:18:48,460 Do you think I am? Do you think I was? Was I-- Did it feel like-- 'Cause we-- 386 00:18:49,795 --> 00:18:51,588 And I'm not even sure how much I processed. 387 00:18:51,672 --> 00:18:54,424 I think I was just too busy thinking about what'd make a good comic. 388 00:18:54,508 --> 00:18:57,803 Oh, my God. I can't-- [groans] This is so awful. 389 00:18:57,886 --> 00:18:58,887 -Really? -Yeah. 390 00:18:58,971 --> 00:19:00,556 -I thought it was going well. -It was, 391 00:19:00,639 --> 00:19:05,686 and then I just started all of a sudden to feel like I was just 20 years ago... 392 00:19:05,769 --> 00:19:09,606 -and I'm 25 years old... -Yeah. 393 00:19:09,690 --> 00:19:13,485 and I'm with this guy that is eight years my senior 394 00:19:13,569 --> 00:19:16,572 and is supposed to, like, you know... 395 00:19:16,655 --> 00:19:20,325 I just remember spending so much time trying to understand you, 396 00:19:20,409 --> 00:19:25,956 and I think it was like a full-time job just trying to understand you 397 00:19:26,039 --> 00:19:28,292 and understand how you tick enough to take care of you 398 00:19:28,375 --> 00:19:33,213 when no part of you was interested in taking care of me. 399 00:19:33,297 --> 00:19:35,799 And now here we are. I'm sitting across from you at a table, 400 00:19:35,883 --> 00:19:38,343 and you're asking me to take care of you again. 401 00:19:38,427 --> 00:19:41,180 [stammers] And I just-- I'm not-- Like I said, I-- 402 00:19:42,890 --> 00:19:44,600 -I get to be the mess now. -Okay. 403 00:19:44,683 --> 00:19:46,018 You know, I get to be... 404 00:19:46,810 --> 00:19:48,645 I get to be unhinged if I fucking feel like it. 405 00:19:48,729 --> 00:19:52,274 Yeah, yeah, yeah, I agree. 406 00:19:52,357 --> 00:19:54,818 But you call me to this table and you're asking me to... 407 00:19:54,902 --> 00:19:56,111 [stuttering] 408 00:19:56,195 --> 00:19:58,906 I'm just asking you to... I'm looking for redemption. 409 00:19:58,989 --> 00:20:01,617 I'm looking for forgiveness. If you don't got it, you don't have to. 410 00:20:01,700 --> 00:20:03,076 -I don't know if I have it. -Okay. 411 00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:04,786 I didn't know I was supposed to bring it. 412 00:20:05,662 --> 00:20:08,582 You have to warn somebody about this kind of stuff. 413 00:20:08,665 --> 00:20:10,834 All right, well, we've got dessert. 414 00:20:10,918 --> 00:20:13,295 [laughs] 415 00:20:13,378 --> 00:20:15,005 Oh, my God. This place... 416 00:20:15,088 --> 00:20:16,381 -Right? -Yeah. 417 00:20:16,465 --> 00:20:19,593 -Right? You're time-traveling, remember? -Yeah. 418 00:20:19,676 --> 00:20:21,929 -Right? -The smell brings it back. 419 00:20:22,012 --> 00:20:24,348 When was the last time that you were here? With me? 420 00:20:24,431 --> 00:20:27,517 -Yeah. Obviously, that's when. -That's insane. I never come here anymore. 421 00:20:27,601 --> 00:20:29,478 -How's it going, Jeff? -Good, how are you doing? 422 00:20:30,312 --> 00:20:31,313 What are you having? 423 00:20:31,396 --> 00:20:32,689 Um... 424 00:20:33,815 --> 00:20:35,734 [Jacob] I've been married a couple times myself. 425 00:20:35,817 --> 00:20:36,818 -You have? -[Jacob] Yeah, I have. 426 00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:39,112 Did you learn so much from those-- 427 00:20:39,196 --> 00:20:43,659 I did, 'cause I really loved my first wife, and I was just too-- 428 00:20:43,742 --> 00:20:44,826 -Oh, you did? -I did. 429 00:20:44,910 --> 00:20:48,372 I bet you treated her great. Huh? I bet no regrets there. 430 00:20:48,455 --> 00:20:51,291 -I think I did. -Yeah, 'cause you loved her so much. 431 00:20:51,375 --> 00:20:53,043 -I did, I loved her so much. -Yeah. 432 00:20:53,126 --> 00:20:56,421 And then, I got some-- I got crazy. I got-- 433 00:20:56,505 --> 00:20:57,798 -Oh, you got crazy? -I got crazy. 434 00:20:57,881 --> 00:20:59,341 That's what happened? 435 00:20:59,424 --> 00:21:03,887 Yeah, you know, I found some success, and I thought she was bringing me down 436 00:21:03,971 --> 00:21:07,391 -and then some other stuff happened... -Oh. Yeah. I mean... 437 00:21:07,474 --> 00:21:09,226 I met someone else and, you know-- 438 00:21:09,309 --> 00:21:11,603 -Oh, God. Really? -Yeah. 439 00:21:11,687 --> 00:21:14,439 -And you just threw it all away? -I did. 440 00:21:14,523 --> 00:21:16,483 -I threw it all away. -All right. Well... 441 00:21:16,566 --> 00:21:18,694 I'm sure the second marriage went great, though, huh? 442 00:21:18,777 --> 00:21:24,199 It didn't. It felt good for a while, and then it just, uh, kinda got very ugly 443 00:21:24,283 --> 00:21:26,243 -and then, you know, now I'm old. -Mmm. 444 00:21:26,868 --> 00:21:27,995 Yeah. 445 00:21:28,620 --> 00:21:30,914 What happened with, uh, your guy? He-- 446 00:21:30,998 --> 00:21:33,041 Oh, I don't know. He just-- you know... 447 00:21:33,125 --> 00:21:36,253 Long story short. He left me for another woman, 448 00:21:36,336 --> 00:21:38,046 -Ugh! -which would have been fine, I guess. 449 00:21:38,130 --> 00:21:39,381 Then he wrote a book about it. 450 00:21:39,464 --> 00:21:41,758 That book went very public, and a lot of people read it. 451 00:21:41,842 --> 00:21:43,051 -Really? He's a writer? -Yeah. 452 00:21:43,135 --> 00:21:44,303 So that didn't feel great. 453 00:21:44,386 --> 00:21:47,556 But it must be very exciting to be with an artist of any kind. 454 00:21:47,639 --> 00:21:49,516 -Yeah, it was very exciting. -Yeah. 455 00:21:49,599 --> 00:21:53,270 In fact, I have many happy, happy associations 456 00:21:53,353 --> 00:21:55,188 -with that time. Yeah. -That's sweet. Right? 457 00:21:55,272 --> 00:21:57,983 -So, maybe it just wasn't meant to be. -Yeah... You know... 458 00:21:58,066 --> 00:21:59,109 It really wasn't. 459 00:21:59,192 --> 00:22:01,069 [both chuckle] 460 00:22:03,071 --> 00:22:04,781 Oh, God. 461 00:22:04,865 --> 00:22:06,283 -But, you know... -What? 462 00:22:06,366 --> 00:22:08,368 -We lived, we loved, we laughed. -Uh-huh. 463 00:22:08,452 --> 00:22:10,537 -And now... -Yeah. 464 00:22:10,620 --> 00:22:11,872 Do you have a... 465 00:22:12,706 --> 00:22:15,876 What-- so are-- Did you remarry? What happened? 466 00:22:16,793 --> 00:22:19,838 Oh, no, Jacob. I would love to tell you. 467 00:22:19,921 --> 00:22:22,424 -Because it is quite a tale. -Yeah. 468 00:22:22,507 --> 00:22:24,676 -But I'm afraid... -What? 469 00:22:25,510 --> 00:22:28,221 -I'm just not gonna tell you about myself. -What? 470 00:22:28,305 --> 00:22:29,765 -Yeah? -Yeah. 471 00:22:29,848 --> 00:22:31,558 -Not ever? -Not ever. 472 00:22:31,641 --> 00:22:34,603 Come on. Did you get married again? Did you meet somebody else? 473 00:22:34,686 --> 00:22:36,104 I did not get married again. 474 00:22:36,188 --> 00:22:38,815 -Oh, kiss me. Come on. -No, too soon, Jacob! 475 00:22:38,899 --> 00:22:41,026 -Too soon. Bad game. -God damn. 476 00:22:42,486 --> 00:22:43,487 What do you wanna do? 477 00:22:43,570 --> 00:22:44,863 Do you wanna kiss a little bit? 478 00:22:45,989 --> 00:22:48,283 Oh. [titters] 479 00:22:50,952 --> 00:22:53,121 -I just had a crazy déjà vu. -[sighs] Wow. 480 00:22:53,205 --> 00:22:57,667 -Did you just have crazy déjà vu? [laughs] -I just felt it in my whole body. 481 00:22:57,751 --> 00:22:59,961 [guitar playing] 482 00:23:26,613 --> 00:23:29,991 I'm so sad that you lost that battle. It should have been the cover. 483 00:23:30,075 --> 00:23:33,370 -Yeah, I don't know what-- -Juxtaposition is... 484 00:23:33,453 --> 00:23:34,454 Yeah, it's... 485 00:23:34,538 --> 00:23:37,499 Better. But, yeah, the other cover is good. 486 00:23:55,851 --> 00:23:57,978 [sighs] 487 00:23:59,062 --> 00:24:01,064 -I gotta go to the bathroom. -[both chuckle] 488 00:24:03,650 --> 00:24:04,484 [sighs] 489 00:24:12,117 --> 00:24:15,453 [door opens and closes] 490 00:24:15,537 --> 00:24:18,373 -[scoffs] -[cell phone vibrating] 491 00:24:42,480 --> 00:24:43,815 The fuck? 492 00:24:55,118 --> 00:24:56,369 [toilet flushing] 493 00:25:21,603 --> 00:25:22,729 [swishing] 494 00:25:39,663 --> 00:25:42,165 -[door opens] -[Jacob] All right. 495 00:25:42,916 --> 00:25:43,917 Sorry... 496 00:25:45,126 --> 00:25:46,836 it took me so long. 497 00:25:50,674 --> 00:25:51,675 Karen? 498 00:25:59,182 --> 00:26:00,183 Karen? 499 00:26:40,807 --> 00:26:44,269 I just can't fucking believe it! All you did was hurt a person. 500 00:26:44,352 --> 00:26:47,647 That's all you did, was hurt a person that was already hurt. 501 00:26:47,731 --> 00:26:48,732 Can we get Terry, please? 502 00:26:48,815 --> 00:26:51,568 You're a morally bankrupt fucking monster. 503 00:26:51,651 --> 00:26:52,694 -Okay. -Publicist. 504 00:26:52,777 --> 00:26:54,529 What do you mean, "Okay," funny face? 505 00:26:54,612 --> 00:26:56,364 -I didn't make a funny face. -Jesus. Fuck! 506 00:26:56,448 --> 00:26:59,576 Why did you do that? Why would you fucking do that? 507 00:26:59,659 --> 00:27:03,038 I told you not to do that. All you did was hurt somebody. 508 00:27:03,121 --> 00:27:05,123 -Terry's here. -Okay, well... Terry, hi! 509 00:27:05,206 --> 00:27:07,125 -[Terry] Jacob? Jacob, can you see-- -What? 510 00:27:07,208 --> 00:27:09,377 It's Terry. Jacob, how are you doing? 511 00:27:09,461 --> 00:27:11,880 You don't have to say your name when you're on the fucking TV. 512 00:27:11,963 --> 00:27:15,675 Well, I can't see you, Jacob. [stammers] Can you sit down or something? 513 00:27:15,759 --> 00:27:18,636 -Terry, what the fuck-- What did you do? -We see you. 514 00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:20,930 -What's the problem? -These fucking animals, 515 00:27:21,014 --> 00:27:23,641 fucking monster and her henchman doofus here, 516 00:27:23,725 --> 00:27:27,270 they took those pictures of me and Karen arguing and put 'em out in the world. 517 00:27:27,354 --> 00:27:30,148 She took 'em behind my back when I was just standing there. 518 00:27:30,231 --> 00:27:33,109 -I went there to make a point. -My understanding was you were aware 519 00:27:33,193 --> 00:27:34,736 that the picture was gonna be posted. 520 00:27:34,819 --> 00:27:36,988 Who told you that? Lying sack of shit here? 521 00:27:37,072 --> 00:27:40,241 On some level, there was knowledge that something was being done. 522 00:27:40,325 --> 00:27:43,995 -Lauren is a very truthful person, Jacob. -Wait, what? 523 00:27:44,079 --> 00:27:46,122 You can trust what Lauren tells you. 524 00:27:46,206 --> 00:27:47,290 Are you out of your mind? 525 00:27:47,374 --> 00:27:50,752 She's a publicist! There's no truth there! It's like a void! 526 00:27:50,835 --> 00:27:52,587 -A moral void. -Okay... I mean... 527 00:27:52,670 --> 00:27:56,091 [Terry] She's only trying to do what's best for the project, Jacob. 528 00:27:56,174 --> 00:27:58,510 I think you might like to know 529 00:27:58,593 --> 00:28:02,806 that pre-sales have gone up probably 40, 50 times 530 00:28:02,889 --> 00:28:05,183 - [Lauren] Mmm! -since that picture was posted. 531 00:28:05,266 --> 00:28:07,560 -All right, so, I guess-- -[Amanda] They're in the top 10%! 532 00:28:07,644 --> 00:28:08,770 What? 533 00:28:08,853 --> 00:28:11,022 They're in the top 10% of sales right now. 534 00:28:11,106 --> 00:28:14,150 [Jacob] Oh, okay, you guys are a great team. 535 00:28:14,234 --> 00:28:17,570 And the New York Review of Books is talking about doing an article. 536 00:28:17,654 --> 00:28:19,989 -All right. -And the fans are loving it. 537 00:28:20,073 --> 00:28:21,950 -They are eating it all up. -Of course. 538 00:28:22,033 --> 00:28:25,120 Lauren, did you tell him about Jimmy yet? 539 00:28:25,203 --> 00:28:27,372 -Oh! Oh... -Jimmy. Who's Jimmy? 540 00:28:27,455 --> 00:28:29,499 "Who's Jimmy?" I don't know. Jimmy Fallon. 541 00:28:29,582 --> 00:28:30,792 -What about Jimmy Fallon? -Yeah. 542 00:28:30,875 --> 00:28:32,335 -The Tonight Show? -[Jacob] Uh-huh. 543 00:28:32,419 --> 00:28:35,547 Would you like to be a guest, do the couch with Jimmy? 544 00:28:36,881 --> 00:28:38,633 -[stammers] -Yeah, yeah, got it. 545 00:28:38,717 --> 00:28:40,051 -Oh, yeah? -I got you on. Yeah. 546 00:28:40,135 --> 00:28:42,137 -All right, well, that's-- -[Terry] On the couch. 547 00:28:42,220 --> 00:28:44,723 On the couch, honey, the couch. 548 00:28:44,806 --> 00:28:46,516 That shirt really brings out your eyes. 549 00:28:46,599 --> 00:28:49,269 Okay! Okay. Can I just say one thing? 550 00:28:49,352 --> 00:28:52,230 I just wanna point out that this doesn't make it right. 551 00:28:52,313 --> 00:28:55,984 You all hurt someone's feelings. You're craven. You're all fucking craven. 552 00:28:56,067 --> 00:28:57,152 You too, Terry! 553 00:28:57,235 --> 00:28:59,362 And you too, Himmler. All right? 554 00:29:00,071 --> 00:29:03,700 All right. That said, did anyone talk to Colbert? 555 00:29:03,783 --> 00:29:06,035 Did anyone reach out to Colbert? Anybody? 556 00:29:07,954 --> 00:29:12,000 -♪ You don't know what it's like ♪ -♪ It's like ♪ 557 00:29:12,083 --> 00:29:14,544 ♪ To move on ♪ 558 00:29:17,797 --> 00:29:22,677 ♪ Ooh, she started dancing To that fine, fine music ♪ 559 00:29:22,761 --> 00:29:24,262 ♪ It's true love ♪ 560 00:29:28,224 --> 00:29:32,228 -♪ You don't know what it's like ♪ -♪ It's like ♪ 561 00:29:32,312 --> 00:29:34,689 ♪ To move on ♪ 562 00:29:38,359 --> 00:29:42,906 -♪ From a name you despise ♪ -♪ Despise ♪ 563 00:29:42,989 --> 00:29:44,991 ♪ It's true love ♪ 564 00:29:46,117 --> 00:29:49,871 -♪ You don't know what it's like ♪ -♪ It's like ♪ 565 00:29:49,996 --> 00:29:52,040 ♪ To move on ♪