1 00:00:06,131 --> 00:00:08,925 -Good morning, Jacob. -How are you, Grace? 2 00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:11,136 -Doing well this morning. How are you? -Nice to see you. 3 00:00:11,219 --> 00:00:13,054 I'm all right, I guess. All right. 4 00:00:13,346 --> 00:00:15,348 -Seems like an okay day. -Hm. 5 00:00:15,432 --> 00:00:16,933 What do you call that around your neck? 6 00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:19,436 Is that a...  Is that a scarf or a kerchief? 7 00:00:19,519 --> 00:00:20,895 This is called an "ascot." 8 00:00:20,979 --> 00:00:22,105 -An ascot? -Yes. 9 00:00:22,188 --> 00:00:24,607 Is that what, uh... everyone's wearing these days? 10 00:00:24,691 --> 00:00:26,234 -Yeah. Yeah. -Ascots? 11 00:00:26,359 --> 00:00:28,862 Why are you wearing an ascot? What's goin' on in your neck? 12 00:00:28,945 --> 00:00:31,197 -What are you hidin'? -Oh, it's purely style. 13 00:00:31,364 --> 00:00:33,783 -Mm-hm. Mm-hm. -I've got nothing to hide. 14 00:00:34,117 --> 00:00:35,827 Can I get you anything other than a coffee? 15 00:00:35,910 --> 00:00:39,122 -Uh, no. -Right. That'll be $2.50, please. 16 00:00:39,205 --> 00:00:40,790 You know, bad marks or good marks? 17 00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:43,585 If there's anything goin' on, I'll be okay. 18 00:00:44,961 --> 00:00:45,920 All right. 19 00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:50,800 [phone vibrates] 20 00:00:57,182 --> 00:00:58,433 Hey, what's up? 21 00:01:00,852 --> 00:01:01,853 Uh... 22 00:01:02,145 --> 00:01:02,979 Yeah. 23 00:01:10,195 --> 00:01:11,029 Yeah. 24 00:01:26,127 --> 00:01:27,796 Whoa, whoa, whoa, what? Wait-- 25 00:01:28,046 --> 00:01:29,506 Wait-- When was this? Who-- 26 00:01:29,923 --> 00:01:30,757 What-- 27 00:01:34,260 --> 00:01:35,261 A student? 28 00:01:38,056 --> 00:01:41,309 From what? From like, what...  15 years ago? When I-- 29 00:01:41,893 --> 00:01:43,770 Who-- Wait, what? Who is it? 30 00:01:48,191 --> 00:01:51,653 So... So you're just calling me 'cause  you heard a thing and you have no... 31 00:01:58,451 --> 00:02:00,787 Hold on, wait, what do you think her name is? 32 00:02:02,914 --> 00:02:05,208 ♪ Waitin' on my true love ♪ 33 00:02:06,543 --> 00:02:09,420 I just spent the entire day  just racking my brain, 34 00:02:09,504 --> 00:02:11,047 just trying to remember... 35 00:02:12,340 --> 00:02:13,550 you know, what happened. 36 00:02:14,384 --> 00:02:16,386 -I'm happy she has a book coming out. -What is she-- 37 00:02:16,469 --> 00:02:18,471 And God knows I've weathered these storms before. 38 00:02:18,555 --> 00:02:19,639 I've been depicted... 39 00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:21,808 in other people's narrative, 40 00:02:22,100 --> 00:02:23,768 but, like, now it just seems like it's... 41 00:02:23,852 --> 00:02:25,812 -What is-- -...a loaded time. 42 00:02:25,895 --> 00:02:28,231 -What is she accusing you of? -I have no idea. 43 00:02:29,065 --> 00:02:31,234 I just... All I know is  that there's a chapter in a book 44 00:02:31,317 --> 00:02:32,277 that suggests something. 45 00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:33,611 So I have no idea. 46 00:02:33,695 --> 00:02:35,405 Uh, there's no crime there. 47 00:02:35,488 --> 00:02:36,698 There's no assault. 48 00:02:36,781 --> 00:02:39,284 -Yes. -There's no... rape or anything horrible. 49 00:02:39,659 --> 00:02:43,580 We had consensual sex in this situa-- where I was her professor. 50 00:02:44,122 --> 00:02:45,373 -Okay. -I was a teacher... 51 00:02:45,790 --> 00:02:46,958 -Right. -At the Art Institute, 52 00:02:47,041 --> 00:02:48,793 -doing a graphic novel class. -Okay. 53 00:02:48,877 --> 00:02:51,713 A semester. Gradu-- Graduate level. 54 00:02:51,796 --> 00:02:54,424 It's-- Okay. So you're the hot teacher. 55 00:02:54,883 --> 00:02:55,758 -Sure. -Okay. 56 00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:57,969 Yeah, maybe. I mean, I don't know. 57 00:02:58,052 --> 00:02:59,220 It's okay. 58 00:02:59,304 --> 00:03:00,763 -Yeah, okay. -But what happened? 59 00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:02,515 Oh. Um... 60 00:03:03,892 --> 00:03:07,020 She was just one of, like 12-13 students 61 00:03:07,103 --> 00:03:10,481 and you know, she... she was cute, uh... 62 00:03:10,565 --> 00:03:11,900 -And-- -You were attracted to her. 63 00:03:11,983 --> 00:03:14,485 -Definitely, and like, she-- -She was attracted to you. 64 00:03:15,486 --> 00:03:17,989 -Yeah, of course, but... but it was... -Sure. 65 00:03:18,823 --> 00:03:22,035 Initially, it was about, you know,  the art. It was the about the thing. 66 00:03:22,118 --> 00:03:24,412 -It was about-- -Do you remember her flirting with you? 67 00:03:26,331 --> 00:03:28,249 Well, it's hard for me to know even now. 68 00:03:28,333 --> 00:03:30,210 -But, just-- -I don't even know. With, like... 69 00:03:30,293 --> 00:03:32,545 I don't know when women are flirting with me now. 70 00:03:32,879 --> 00:03:35,882 Like, you know, I would assume that for the past, like, 20 years, 71 00:03:35,965 --> 00:03:38,426 you've been flirting with me, but you would say, what, no? 72 00:03:38,509 --> 00:03:41,346 -Right? I don't know. -Oh, of course I'm gonna say no. 73 00:03:42,430 --> 00:03:44,474 All right, that's the point. 74 00:03:44,682 --> 00:03:49,229 Okay, what happened was, you know, over the course of the semester, 75 00:03:49,312 --> 00:03:51,898 -I... I was giving her a lot of attention. -Can I ask you something? 76 00:03:51,981 --> 00:03:55,693 Do you pretend that you don't know that I'm flirting with you 77 00:03:55,818 --> 00:03:58,613 when I'm flirting with you, or do you just really not know? 78 00:03:59,322 --> 00:04:00,573 What am I supposed to do? 79 00:04:00,657 --> 00:04:03,993 We have, like, a secret understanding that we're not just gonna, like... 80 00:04:04,827 --> 00:04:05,703 I mean... 81 00:04:06,204 --> 00:04:08,539 there have been times when you were like, with dudes, 82 00:04:08,623 --> 00:04:09,832 and I was like, "What is that? 83 00:04:09,916 --> 00:04:11,876 What is she with that dude for?" or whatever, 84 00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:13,711 and, like, back in the day when... 85 00:04:14,420 --> 00:04:16,214 -we were both more fuckable. -Can I ask, 86 00:04:16,297 --> 00:04:19,592 have you ever wanted to kiss me, but you just didn't? 87 00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:23,304 Yeah, like, just a minute ago, but you blew it. 88 00:04:23,638 --> 00:04:25,223 -How did I-- -Well, you said no. 89 00:04:25,390 --> 00:04:28,226 I'm out. I know how it goes now. No means no, right? 90 00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:31,354 -[slurps] -Whatever. 91 00:04:31,646 --> 00:04:32,563 I don't know. 92 00:04:33,314 --> 00:04:34,816 I... I just... I don't know. 93 00:04:34,899 --> 00:04:36,734 I'm gonna find out, I guess, what she wrote, 94 00:04:36,818 --> 00:04:38,444 but, just, like, it could ruin 95 00:04:38,528 --> 00:04:41,072 what little... career I have left... 96 00:04:41,489 --> 00:04:43,950 if it's bad, 'cause what am I gonna do? 97 00:04:44,033 --> 00:04:47,829 It just becomes a he-said-she-said thing and she can do whatever she wants. 98 00:04:48,371 --> 00:04:50,456 Fortunately, it's a very small world... 99 00:04:51,749 --> 00:04:53,918 uh, the world I work and live in, 100 00:04:54,002 --> 00:04:58,089 but I'd rather not spend the rest of it ashamed and... 101 00:04:59,048 --> 00:05:01,884 exiled, but I don't know what the fuck's gonna happen. 102 00:05:02,552 --> 00:05:04,846 So like, nothing matters anymore, baby. 103 00:05:04,929 --> 00:05:06,597 You know what I'm sayin'? Me and you... 104 00:05:06,723 --> 00:05:07,849 -"Baby"... -From here on out. 105 00:05:08,224 --> 00:05:09,434 -Come on.  -I... Do you really 106 00:05:09,517 --> 00:05:11,728 call women that you're with "baby"? 107 00:05:11,811 --> 00:05:13,896 -Does it sound like I do? -It's just a terrible... 108 00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:16,607 -Did you hear how I say it? -It's just not-- I really-- Oh, God. 109 00:05:16,774 --> 00:05:19,277 -What's the matter, baby? -You're looming over me again. 110 00:05:19,485 --> 00:05:21,529 -Am I? -Why do you do that? Ugh! 111 00:05:21,779 --> 00:05:23,781 -What? Why don't we just-- -Don't. You, like... 112 00:05:23,906 --> 00:05:27,994 When you do the whole thing where you, like, gear up to it... 113 00:05:29,037 --> 00:05:31,039 -it's so, like... -What? 114 00:05:31,122 --> 00:05:31,998 -Come on. -Just-- 115 00:05:32,081 --> 00:05:34,042 It's already happening when you just-- 116 00:05:34,125 --> 00:05:35,084 You don't have to be-- 117 00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:38,129 [laughing] Sit down! You... It's like... 118 00:05:38,755 --> 00:05:40,173 It's so... 119 00:05:40,256 --> 00:05:42,383 Like... Good Lord. 120 00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:10,036 [car horn honks] 121 00:06:19,504 --> 00:06:21,506 -[paper rustling] -[exhales] 122 00:06:35,103 --> 00:06:37,021 [sighs] 123 00:06:48,825 --> 00:06:50,159 [urinating] 124 00:06:56,916 --> 00:06:58,418 [toilet flushes] 125 00:07:19,689 --> 00:07:20,606 [Jacob sighs] 126 00:07:28,364 --> 00:07:29,198 Hm... 127 00:07:33,119 --> 00:07:34,662 I don't know. I don't know. 128 00:07:36,038 --> 00:07:37,874 It's fuckin' weird... 129 00:07:39,167 --> 00:07:40,001 that... 130 00:07:41,294 --> 00:07:42,336 during that time... 131 00:07:43,421 --> 00:07:44,547 when I was teaching... 132 00:07:45,631 --> 00:07:47,592 Like, I didn't-- I like, made... 133 00:07:48,426 --> 00:07:50,553 hardly any sketches of anything. 134 00:07:52,555 --> 00:07:56,100 Especially not anything about Beth, that woman. 135 00:07:56,809 --> 00:07:59,854 And there's no real correspondence here. 136 00:07:59,937 --> 00:08:04,400 Like, there's just a couple of polite, you know, professional, reasonable emails. 137 00:08:05,401 --> 00:08:08,070 Isn't that fucked up? Isn't that weird that I, like... 138 00:08:08,529 --> 00:08:10,615 -Like, this whole-- Like-- What was I... -[sighs] 139 00:08:10,698 --> 00:08:12,533 I mean, when don't I sketch? 140 00:08:12,617 --> 00:08:13,910 I mean, I must have been, like... 141 00:08:13,993 --> 00:08:15,369 just really, like... 142 00:08:16,454 --> 00:08:18,122 I don't even know, like, underwater. 143 00:08:18,206 --> 00:08:20,082 I don't know what the fuck  was goin' on with me. 144 00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:23,503 -But that's bizarre-- What? -Ahem. I am so hungry. [chuckles] 145 00:08:23,586 --> 00:08:27,423 I'm really hungry, and I need orange juice. Are you thirsty? 146 00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:30,510 I... I just drank,  like, a gallon of water. 147 00:08:33,179 --> 00:08:35,890 Like, I feel like I... I can't-- I don't think I can eat right now. 148 00:08:35,973 --> 00:08:37,767 -My head's, like, in this thing. -No, I get it. 149 00:08:38,976 --> 00:08:41,896 -What the fuck am I gonna do about this? -I'm not sure what you're gonna do. 150 00:08:41,979 --> 00:08:44,732 It's a kind of a... It's a-- It's a bad situation, 151 00:08:44,815 --> 00:08:46,567 but it's gonna work out. [chuckles] 152 00:08:46,651 --> 00:08:48,694 -Where are you going? -Seriously, I'm-- No, I'm just-- 153 00:08:48,778 --> 00:08:51,531 -Dude, I'm starving. I'm... -What? All right. I-- I-- 154 00:08:51,614 --> 00:08:54,367 I would go, but I'm just-- I'm not gonna be good conversation. 155 00:08:54,450 --> 00:08:55,952 -Of course not. -I'm just completely... 156 00:08:56,035 --> 00:08:57,036 -Look, we're gonna-- -What? 157 00:08:57,119 --> 00:08:58,454 We'll talk. It's not a big deal. 158 00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:00,456 -What's not a big deal? -That we slept together. 159 00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:03,084 I'm not even thinking about that. I didn't think it was a big deal. 160 00:09:03,167 --> 00:09:04,877 -Well, clearly, I don't either. -All right. 161 00:09:04,961 --> 00:09:06,504 I just-- I've lost a penny-- 162 00:09:06,587 --> 00:09:08,464 -What kind of shoes are those? -Penny loafers. 163 00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:11,884 -No. They're sneakers, platforms-- -Don't criticize me right now. 164 00:09:11,968 --> 00:09:12,969 -My purse! -I'll get you-- 165 00:09:14,428 --> 00:09:15,388 -I got it. -[sighs] 166 00:09:15,888 --> 00:09:17,515 Hold on. Oh, God. 167 00:09:17,723 --> 00:09:18,891 -Okay. Yeah. -All right? 168 00:09:18,975 --> 00:09:20,184 -You all right, though? -So, I-- 169 00:09:20,268 --> 00:09:21,269 You all right? Look at me. 170 00:09:21,352 --> 00:09:23,604 -Are you all right? I'm all right. -Dude, I'm fine. 171 00:09:23,688 --> 00:09:24,939 -I'm fine. -I'm okay. 172 00:09:25,022 --> 00:09:26,524 -Yes, it's fine. -Wait, look! 173 00:09:26,607 --> 00:09:27,692 -What? -Hey. 174 00:09:27,775 --> 00:09:29,193 We-- We can absorb this. 175 00:09:29,277 --> 00:09:31,028 -You know what I mean? -I love you. It's fine. 176 00:09:31,112 --> 00:09:32,822 I love you, too. I just don't want breakfast. 177 00:09:32,905 --> 00:09:35,157 I-- I get it. I'm just starving. You know how I-- 178 00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:36,867 Fuck it. Fuck it! Do you want me to come? 179 00:09:36,951 --> 00:09:39,287 -No! I have a blood sugar-- -I'll fucking come! 180 00:09:39,370 --> 00:09:41,163 I actually just wanna be by myself, thanks. 181 00:09:41,247 --> 00:09:42,832 -No, you-- Wait! Hey! Hey! -No! 182 00:09:42,915 --> 00:09:43,958 Are you all right? 183 00:09:44,083 --> 00:09:45,001 Bye! 184 00:09:45,167 --> 00:09:46,002 [door slams] 185 00:09:47,878 --> 00:09:48,838 God damn it. 186 00:09:50,214 --> 00:09:51,882 [upbeat pop music playing] 187 00:09:52,842 --> 00:09:54,051 [sighs] 188 00:09:55,469 --> 00:09:56,304 Fuck. 189 00:09:59,348 --> 00:10:01,350 [music continues over speaker] 190 00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:04,270 [phone vibrates] 191 00:10:04,353 --> 00:10:05,271 [phone rings] 192 00:10:12,862 --> 00:10:13,696 Hi. 193 00:10:14,572 --> 00:10:16,657 -[Jacob] Hey, how's it goin'? -Hey. 194 00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:19,744 -Hi. -What are you doin'? 195 00:10:19,827 --> 00:10:20,953 Taking a bath. 196 00:10:21,704 --> 00:10:23,581 Okay. Can I talk to you for a second? 197 00:10:24,957 --> 00:10:25,833 Yes. 198 00:10:26,584 --> 00:10:28,878 Okay, so... So... 199 00:10:30,379 --> 00:10:31,797 I just talked to David, 200 00:10:31,881 --> 00:10:34,800 and my speaking engagement 201 00:10:35,259 --> 00:10:39,305 at that art school outside of Detroit next month, canceled, 202 00:10:39,555 --> 00:10:41,599 because of this fucking book. 203 00:10:41,807 --> 00:10:43,684 They got wind of Beth's book, 204 00:10:43,768 --> 00:10:45,978 or they got a copy of it, I don't even fucking know, 205 00:10:46,062 --> 00:10:48,564 but five grand in the toilet. 206 00:10:48,981 --> 00:10:52,151 That's one down out of, like, the four that I have 207 00:10:52,818 --> 00:10:54,820 to fucking make a living this year. 208 00:10:55,529 --> 00:10:58,282 It's all fucking happening.  It's all fucking happening. 209 00:10:58,741 --> 00:11:00,242 The worst case scenario. 210 00:11:00,409 --> 00:11:01,744 -[turns music up] -So... 211 00:11:01,827 --> 00:11:03,454 ♪ One way ♪ 212 00:11:05,122 --> 00:11:06,749 ♪ One day ♪ 213 00:11:08,167 --> 00:11:09,377 [phone rings] 214 00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:16,300 Hi, is... is this Beth? 215 00:11:19,845 --> 00:11:20,763 Beth, hi. 216 00:11:20,846 --> 00:11:22,682 Uh, it's, uh, Jacob Malco. 217 00:11:25,226 --> 00:11:28,062 I heard about this graphic novel that you're... you're... 218 00:11:28,437 --> 00:11:31,065 you know, that you've written and that they're putting out, 219 00:11:31,148 --> 00:11:32,441 and I just heard... 220 00:11:33,234 --> 00:11:36,821 What? My agent heard it. It's not private information. 221 00:11:36,904 --> 00:11:41,534 But what... what he also heard was that it doesn't necessarily portray me... 222 00:11:42,034 --> 00:11:46,872 uh, in a very good way, and that  it could be...uh, trouble for me, and... 223 00:11:46,956 --> 00:11:49,542 and I just wanted to… I just wanted to talk to you, 224 00:11:49,625 --> 00:11:54,380 because I don't-- I remember-- I don't-- I remember it differently, I think. 225 00:11:55,256 --> 00:11:57,049 Not that that matters, huh? 226 00:11:57,299 --> 00:11:58,759 I know, I've written memoirs before. 227 00:11:58,843 --> 00:12:01,011 So it's exactly what happened from your side. 228 00:12:01,095 --> 00:12:03,639 From your side.  Like, you know, like, I mean... 229 00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:06,267 [sighs] I'm not coming down on you. 230 00:12:06,350 --> 00:12:08,561 I don't know what you wrote. But I mean, I don't rem-- 231 00:12:08,644 --> 00:12:11,397 Like, I don't know why we can't just talk as people. 232 00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:13,023 Maybe-- Maybe we sit down 233 00:12:13,107 --> 00:12:16,235 and just let me, you know, read the book,  let me process it, 234 00:12:16,318 --> 00:12:18,487 or let me, you know, try to get some closure, 235 00:12:18,571 --> 00:12:23,367 or... or maybe offer, you know, some sort of, uh... amends, if that's appropriate? 236 00:12:23,451 --> 00:12:26,162 Why can't we just talk about what's about to happen? 237 00:12:26,245 --> 00:12:29,081 Because it's... it's gonna have big implications for me. 238 00:12:30,332 --> 00:12:32,042 Half hour. That-- Okay. 239 00:12:32,126 --> 00:12:33,836 That's... That's plenty of time. 240 00:12:33,919 --> 00:12:35,504 We'll just have coffee, or somewhere... 241 00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:37,882 Are you still, like, in the Chicago area? I mean... 242 00:12:37,965 --> 00:12:42,344 Do... Do you have a place that you like to go or do you wanna... 243 00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:43,596 Uh... 244 00:12:47,266 --> 00:12:49,435 Okay. Well, how about a place you don't like to go? 245 00:12:49,518 --> 00:12:50,603 Let's just go to a... 246 00:12:56,025 --> 00:12:57,985 McDonald's? We don't need to go to McDonald's. 247 00:12:58,068 --> 00:13:00,488 What are you-- McDonald's? Let's go, I mean... 248 00:13:00,571 --> 00:13:02,156 All right, you-- Look, I... [sighs] 249 00:13:02,239 --> 00:13:04,200 All right, I'm sorry. Wherever you wanna go. 250 00:13:04,283 --> 00:13:05,618 [children talking and playing] 251 00:13:05,701 --> 00:13:07,620 [girl] On your marks, get set, go! 252 00:13:08,829 --> 00:13:14,043 So now we gotta meet, like-- Basically, in broad daylight, somewhere public. 253 00:13:14,168 --> 00:13:18,172 It seemed like she was implying that she wouldn't feel safe with me, I mean... 254 00:13:18,964 --> 00:13:21,342 I don't get it, man. Because, like, I liked this woman, 255 00:13:21,425 --> 00:13:24,053 I mean, we got along good and I had feelings for her. 256 00:13:24,136 --> 00:13:28,390 And... And now it's like, I don't know what the fuck happened. 257 00:13:30,434 --> 00:13:31,477 Other than maybe... 258 00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:33,771 She got weird, all right? After we... 259 00:13:33,854 --> 00:13:37,441 After we had sex, she got weird, 'cause she was married, 260 00:13:37,525 --> 00:13:39,735 and I felt it and maybe I got weird, I don't know, 261 00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:41,654 but now, like, I'm a monster? 262 00:13:42,154 --> 00:13:43,197 What the fuck? 263 00:13:43,614 --> 00:13:44,865 You know what I'm sayin'? 264 00:13:45,324 --> 00:13:46,784 Do I know what you're saying? 265 00:13:46,867 --> 00:13:50,454 I mean, are you listening to me? Am I talking to the trees? Where we at? 266 00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:53,541 I'm... 267 00:13:53,624 --> 00:13:54,542 [scoffs] 268 00:13:55,501 --> 00:13:56,377 Nothin'. 269 00:13:56,710 --> 00:13:59,922 What the... What the... What do you... What is wrong with you now? 270 00:14:00,005 --> 00:14:02,716 -I mean-- -Are you fucking-- Are you serious? 271 00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:04,343 What is wrong with me now? 272 00:14:04,552 --> 00:14:05,803 We slept together, 273 00:14:05,886 --> 00:14:08,347 and you're talking about some other woman, having feelings, 274 00:14:08,472 --> 00:14:11,058 about sleeping with you, and then it's weird. 275 00:14:11,183 --> 00:14:12,768 What's happening right now? 276 00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:14,645 Are you not in here? 277 00:14:14,728 --> 00:14:18,107 Are you not... Are we not... Are we even on the same globe? 278 00:14:18,399 --> 00:14:19,900 Do I even exist? 279 00:14:20,526 --> 00:14:21,569 Of course you do. 280 00:14:22,152 --> 00:14:24,572 Like, go talk to your therapist. 281 00:14:25,155 --> 00:14:25,990 What? 282 00:14:26,073 --> 00:14:29,535 I thought you said you were okay. I thought we were okay. We're not okay? 283 00:14:29,618 --> 00:14:32,204 -Now this is a fucking disaster? -God, I can't. I'm not a counselor. 284 00:14:32,288 --> 00:14:34,373 -Leave me alone. -I'm not asking you to be a counselor. 285 00:14:34,456 --> 00:14:36,584 -You're my fucking friend. -You're not? No, yes you are. 286 00:14:36,667 --> 00:14:38,752 You ask everyone to be your counselor. 287 00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:40,504 What does that even fucking mean? 288 00:14:40,588 --> 00:14:43,299 If someone's in your life, they're your counselor. 289 00:14:43,382 --> 00:14:46,093 -Why are you losing your mind over this? -No, just-- 290 00:14:46,176 --> 00:14:47,720 -I'm not losing my mind. -[groans] 291 00:14:47,803 --> 00:14:49,305 Fuck it. All right. 292 00:14:49,847 --> 00:14:51,849 -You know what? Get away from me. -I will, for good. 293 00:14:52,224 --> 00:14:53,851 -It's too much. -Oh, yeah, too much. 294 00:14:53,934 --> 00:14:55,227 You, too. Go fuck yourself. 295 00:14:55,311 --> 00:14:57,730 -Like you're a fucking walk in the park? -Oh, I... Yeah. 296 00:14:57,813 --> 00:15:00,774 Jesus Christ. Fucking selfish. Fuck you. 297 00:15:00,858 --> 00:15:02,067 ♪ I was burning out desire ♪ 298 00:15:04,612 --> 00:15:07,823 ♪ So I needed a woman  To put out this fire ♪ 299 00:15:09,074 --> 00:15:11,076 ♪ She said "Take it, take it, take it" ♪ 300 00:15:11,702 --> 00:15:13,787 ♪ Sitting by my window ♪ 301 00:15:14,830 --> 00:15:16,999 ♪ Watchin' the moonlight ♪ 302 00:15:17,082 --> 00:15:18,500 ♪ In my home ♪ 303 00:15:19,835 --> 00:15:21,921 ♪ Suddenly my mind ♪ 304 00:15:22,713 --> 00:15:24,798 ♪ Is bringing out desire ♪ 305 00:15:25,174 --> 00:15:26,592 ♪ In my home ♪ 306 00:15:27,801 --> 00:15:29,970 ♪ So I met a woman ♪ 307 00:15:31,013 --> 00:15:32,765 ♪ To put out this fire ♪ 308 00:15:33,015 --> 00:15:34,683 ♪ Burning in my soul ♪ 309 00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:37,770 ♪ Only you, baby ♪ 310 00:15:38,270 --> 00:15:41,315 ♪ Can put out this fire ♪ 311 00:15:43,108 --> 00:15:45,903 ♪ Only you, baby ♪ 312 00:15:46,445 --> 00:15:48,989 ♪ Can put out this fire ♪ 313 00:15:49,073 --> 00:15:50,741 ♪ Burning in my soul ♪ 314 00:15:51,033 --> 00:15:53,827 ♪ Only you, baby ♪ 315 00:15:54,370 --> 00:15:57,498 ♪ Can put out this fire ♪ 316 00:15:57,581 --> 00:15:58,874 ♪ You are wonderful ♪ 317 00:15:59,375 --> 00:16:02,086 ♪ Only you, baby ♪ 318 00:16:02,252 --> 00:16:03,379 ♪ Oh ♪ 319 00:16:03,462 --> 00:16:05,005 ♪ Only you ♪ 320 00:16:07,341 --> 00:16:08,175 Oh! 321 00:16:08,842 --> 00:16:09,927 -Hey. -Hi. 322 00:16:10,594 --> 00:16:11,553 How's it goin'? 323 00:16:12,054 --> 00:16:14,223 -Um... It's good, fine. -Okay. Thank you for-- coming. 324 00:16:14,306 --> 00:16:16,809 -Thank you for, uh, coming. -Okay. 325 00:16:17,601 --> 00:16:18,978 -It's... -Okay... All right. 326 00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:22,314 -All right, I'm gonna... -Okay. 327 00:16:22,398 --> 00:16:24,942 Wow! Wait, how far along are... are you? 328 00:16:26,777 --> 00:16:29,071 Yeah, I'm not... pregnant. 329 00:16:30,489 --> 00:16:31,573 [sighs] 330 00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:33,659 -[barista] What can I get ya? -Hi. Um... 331 00:16:33,742 --> 00:16:35,035 Can I just have a latte? 332 00:16:35,119 --> 00:16:37,663 One latte. That'll be $3.75. 333 00:16:43,168 --> 00:16:45,713 -There's your change. -Thank you so much. 334 00:16:46,547 --> 00:16:47,548 -[coins clink] -Thank you. 335 00:16:47,631 --> 00:16:48,966 -We'll have that right out. -Great. 336 00:16:50,926 --> 00:16:52,469 I'm sorry. I... I'm sorry. 337 00:16:52,553 --> 00:16:54,847 -That's a great... great start. -Yeah. 338 00:16:55,472 --> 00:16:57,766 But you... you look... you look good, though. 339 00:16:57,850 --> 00:16:58,851 I... 340 00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:01,478 Nice to see you. I... Uh, it's good-- 341 00:17:01,645 --> 00:17:03,647 -It's good-- -You just asked me if I was pregnant. 342 00:17:04,481 --> 00:17:05,524 God damn it. 343 00:17:05,607 --> 00:17:06,483 -Okay. -What? 344 00:17:07,234 --> 00:17:08,068 I... 345 00:17:08,777 --> 00:17:09,737 Thank you for... 346 00:17:11,572 --> 00:17:12,823 -for meeting me. -Yeah. 347 00:17:12,906 --> 00:17:15,993 Do you feel safe here? Is this safe enough for you? 348 00:17:16,285 --> 00:17:17,661 -Come on. -You come on. 349 00:17:17,745 --> 00:17:19,538 What was that? Like I'm a monster? 350 00:17:19,621 --> 00:17:21,582 -I mean-- -I wasn't saying that you're a monster. 351 00:17:21,665 --> 00:17:25,711 -I just wanted a... a place where-- -What did you think was gonna happen? 352 00:17:25,794 --> 00:17:29,840 I mean, like... I don't... Maybe  I don't know what happened between us, 353 00:17:29,923 --> 00:17:31,550 but when... when I heard about this-- 354 00:17:31,633 --> 00:17:32,968 What did you hear about it? 355 00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:35,888 What have you heard? What did they tell you? Oh, thanks. 356 00:17:36,722 --> 00:17:38,057 Well, first of all... 357 00:17:39,183 --> 00:17:43,270 You know, I... I haven't heard from you or thought about you for years. 358 00:17:43,353 --> 00:17:47,524 And now my agent tells me that, out of nowhere, you wrote this... 359 00:17:48,150 --> 00:17:50,611 -Yeah. -He told me it's gonna make me look bad. 360 00:17:50,736 --> 00:17:51,737 It's gonna be a problem. 361 00:17:51,820 --> 00:17:54,031 Some sort of abuse of power situation. 362 00:17:54,114 --> 00:17:55,657 So I'm going through my own memories-- 363 00:17:55,741 --> 00:17:57,618 Well, yeah, that's the situation. 364 00:17:58,994 --> 00:18:00,662 But wh-- All of a sudden? 365 00:18:01,163 --> 00:18:02,498 What do you mean, all of a sudden? 366 00:18:02,581 --> 00:18:05,542 I've been sitting with it, thinking about it, 367 00:18:06,210 --> 00:18:09,088 -it impacted my life. -Okay, I understand that, 368 00:18:09,171 --> 00:18:10,839 but you know, the timing's a little... 369 00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:12,925 -Why now? -What do you mean, timing? "Why now?" 370 00:18:13,008 --> 00:18:15,385 Yeah. I mean, like, culturally, 371 00:18:15,469 --> 00:18:19,139 it's a fucking nightmare out there... for... for... for men. 372 00:18:19,223 --> 00:18:20,182 Oh, I'm sorry. [scoffs] 373 00:18:20,265 --> 00:18:21,850 Where was this book five years ago? 374 00:18:21,934 --> 00:18:24,645 Like, what... what have you been doing for 15 years? 375 00:18:24,853 --> 00:18:25,896 That's interesting. 376 00:18:25,979 --> 00:18:27,981 -That's an interesting question. -What's interesting? 377 00:18:28,357 --> 00:18:29,191 Um... 378 00:18:29,525 --> 00:18:31,527 I haven't really been working... 379 00:18:32,236 --> 00:18:33,403 for 15 years. 380 00:18:33,695 --> 00:18:35,405 I haven't had the easiest time. 381 00:18:35,864 --> 00:18:39,576 I wasn't really in a position to get anything published. 382 00:18:39,868 --> 00:18:41,829 I didn't have a lot of confidence in myself. 383 00:18:41,912 --> 00:18:43,914 -Were you drawing? -Yeah, sometimes I was. 384 00:18:43,997 --> 00:18:46,041 I was full of self-doubt. 385 00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:47,835 I was looking at everything I was creating, 386 00:18:47,918 --> 00:18:49,419 and being like, "What a piece of shit." 387 00:18:49,962 --> 00:18:50,796 I... 388 00:18:52,172 --> 00:18:53,048 finally... 389 00:18:53,924 --> 00:18:55,759 -decided to just give it a shot... -Okay. 390 00:18:56,301 --> 00:18:59,263 ...and do my work, and I created  something that I feel proud of, 391 00:18:59,346 --> 00:19:01,014 but I had to really... 392 00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:04,309 check in with myself before I did that. 393 00:19:04,643 --> 00:19:07,688 This book is not a book about you. 394 00:19:07,771 --> 00:19:09,481 There's a section about you. 395 00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:11,483 It's about... 396 00:19:13,735 --> 00:19:17,447 me, as I've related to different... 397 00:19:18,198 --> 00:19:19,825 -men in my life. -Hm. 398 00:19:20,284 --> 00:19:22,035 I got to the end of a relationship 399 00:19:22,786 --> 00:19:24,955 and I realized, "Fuck. Every... 400 00:19:25,539 --> 00:19:29,960 choice that I've made has been about something that a man has wanted." 401 00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:31,003 Hm. 402 00:19:31,086 --> 00:19:32,838 I haven't made choices for myself. 403 00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:36,133 I haven't done things based on my own happiness or my own... 404 00:19:37,134 --> 00:19:37,968 good. 405 00:19:38,135 --> 00:19:40,929 Okay, so I'm just one of many men 406 00:19:41,013 --> 00:19:42,389 in this book about men 407 00:19:42,472 --> 00:19:44,516 who somehow shut you down. 408 00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:45,559 A few... 409 00:19:47,144 --> 00:19:48,103 Hm? 410 00:19:48,770 --> 00:19:51,023 That's what... That's what you just said. 411 00:19:51,106 --> 00:19:54,902 But I... I bet you I'm the only one that's got something to lose, right? I-- 412 00:19:54,985 --> 00:19:57,863 Did you tell all the other ones before...  What? 413 00:19:57,946 --> 00:20:00,490 I talked to some people. Some people I'm still in touch with. 414 00:20:00,824 --> 00:20:03,076 -Oh. This is not-- -Where was my call? Why do I gotta wait? 415 00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:05,162 -What? -What is the point of this? 416 00:20:05,245 --> 00:20:07,206 What do you want? What do you wanna know? 417 00:20:07,289 --> 00:20:08,373 Okay. Okay. 418 00:20:08,832 --> 00:20:09,875 [sighs] 419 00:20:09,958 --> 00:20:11,126 I sat there, 420 00:20:11,585 --> 00:20:12,794 when I heard about this... 421 00:20:12,878 --> 00:20:16,298 And, uh, obviously, you know, I've been around a long time. 422 00:20:16,381 --> 00:20:18,717 I'm an old man. I've made some mistakes in my life. 423 00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:22,262 But I was, you know, going over what-- what our relationship was. 424 00:20:22,346 --> 00:20:23,180 Mm-hm... 425 00:20:23,263 --> 00:20:25,682 I... I was just... I was sitting there trying to remember, 426 00:20:25,766 --> 00:20:27,601 you know, what... what we went through. 427 00:20:27,893 --> 00:20:30,479 -Okay. And what did you come up with? -And... And... 428 00:20:30,979 --> 00:20:32,356 That it was-- wasn't bad. 429 00:20:32,439 --> 00:20:35,609 I... I remember us having a lot of, you know, pretty... 430 00:20:36,109 --> 00:20:37,819 -real conversations about stuff. -Mm-hm. 431 00:20:37,903 --> 00:20:40,239 I remember, you know, going over your work, 432 00:20:40,322 --> 00:20:42,074 enjoying your work. 433 00:20:42,157 --> 00:20:43,742 -Mm. -I thought you were great. 434 00:20:43,825 --> 00:20:46,036 And-- And I remember us,  like, having lunch. 435 00:20:46,119 --> 00:20:47,537 You were unhappy in your marriage. 436 00:20:47,621 --> 00:20:51,375 I had just gone through a divorce, and I was trying to somehow be helpful, 437 00:20:51,458 --> 00:20:53,794 and, like, we sort of commiserated a bit. 438 00:20:53,877 --> 00:20:55,545 -Mm-hm. -I did feel the connection. 439 00:20:55,629 --> 00:20:56,546 -Yeah. -Yeah. 440 00:20:56,630 --> 00:20:59,007 And... And, like, I--  And then it got weird. 441 00:20:59,091 --> 00:21:01,093 I know it got weird, but I... I just couldn't, 442 00:21:01,176 --> 00:21:02,970 I... I just couldn't, in my mind... 443 00:21:04,096 --> 00:21:07,224 you know, see myself as somebody who like, did something terrible. 444 00:21:09,142 --> 00:21:11,561 All of that is in my book. 445 00:21:11,645 --> 00:21:15,357 That's the story that I'm telling. We have the same story. 446 00:21:15,649 --> 00:21:17,859 -Mm. -This is my perspective. 447 00:21:17,943 --> 00:21:21,154 It feels one way to you because you're in a position of power. 448 00:21:21,238 --> 00:21:23,532 -You're my teacher. -It's graduate school. 449 00:21:23,615 --> 00:21:25,409 You're, like, 26 years old. I mean, what-- 450 00:21:25,492 --> 00:21:26,952 Yeah, exactly. I'm 26 years old. 451 00:21:27,035 --> 00:21:30,163 It was a big deal for me to come all the fucking way over here 452 00:21:30,247 --> 00:21:31,456 to go to grad school, 453 00:21:31,540 --> 00:21:34,001 to have enough faith in myself that I could do it. 454 00:21:34,126 --> 00:21:35,210 It was a big deal. 455 00:21:35,294 --> 00:21:37,421 It took me to that point in my life, 456 00:21:38,130 --> 00:21:42,301 to feel like, "Oh, I deserve to... to come over here 457 00:21:42,384 --> 00:21:44,261 and try to make something of myself." 458 00:21:44,344 --> 00:21:45,512 It was a really big deal. 459 00:21:45,595 --> 00:21:47,931 It took everything that I had in the world. 460 00:21:48,598 --> 00:21:50,934 -Yeah? -And then, I meet somebody 461 00:21:51,018 --> 00:21:53,729 who tells me I'm as good  as anybody they've ever seen. 462 00:21:53,812 --> 00:21:56,356 I mean, what kind of a fucking thing is that to say? 463 00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:58,358 -That was true. -If it was true, 464 00:21:58,442 --> 00:22:00,068 then what happened afterwards? 465 00:22:00,485 --> 00:22:03,447 Did my work just start, like, sucking after we had sex? 466 00:22:03,530 --> 00:22:05,574 -I don't know-- -We had sex one time! 467 00:22:05,657 --> 00:22:06,491 I know! 468 00:22:07,242 --> 00:22:10,704 I di-- No! I don't know wha-- what your work did afterwards. 469 00:22:10,787 --> 00:22:13,081 -Because I-- -You saw it. I was still in your class. 470 00:22:13,165 --> 00:22:14,833 -For two weeks. -It was longer than that, 471 00:22:14,916 --> 00:22:17,919 and it was really painful and uncomfortable. 472 00:22:18,003 --> 00:22:19,963 I felt that. I felt that. 473 00:22:20,047 --> 00:22:22,424 -Well, what happened? -I don't know what happened. 474 00:22:22,507 --> 00:22:25,969 I mean, like, I-- We had sex, and then  it was... it was just fucking weird, 475 00:22:26,053 --> 00:22:27,929 because, like, I started to think, like, 476 00:22:28,013 --> 00:22:30,724 you were ashamed and mad because you were married, 477 00:22:30,807 --> 00:22:32,934 and maybe I thought you were gonna tell your husband, 478 00:22:33,018 --> 00:22:34,227 he was gonna kick my ass-- 479 00:22:34,311 --> 00:22:37,522 I told my husband before anything happened, first of all. 480 00:22:37,606 --> 00:22:40,650 -What? -That's how seriously I was taking it. 481 00:22:41,068 --> 00:22:45,280 I felt like we were in a relationship. And the things that you were saying to me... 482 00:22:45,364 --> 00:22:48,658 You were telling me you were gonna  set me up with internships. 483 00:22:48,742 --> 00:22:51,078 You were telling me you were gonna introduce me to people. 484 00:22:51,161 --> 00:22:53,789 You were telling me how incredible I was and how... 485 00:22:54,081 --> 00:22:55,832 like, groundbreaking my work is. 486 00:22:55,916 --> 00:22:57,751 -It's so embarrassing to think about now. -I... 487 00:22:57,834 --> 00:23:00,462 -It's so embarrassing I fell for it. -I believed that. I believed it. 488 00:23:00,545 --> 00:23:02,005 -Well-- -So-- So-- 489 00:23:02,089 --> 00:23:04,132 But I'm saying that I wasn't just some fuckin' monster 490 00:23:04,216 --> 00:23:06,176 who was conning you to get into your pants. 491 00:23:06,259 --> 00:23:08,136 -I mean, you know-- -So then what... 492 00:23:08,428 --> 00:23:10,680 -changed after you did? -I-- 493 00:23:10,764 --> 00:23:12,516 I don't fucking know. I can't handle that we-- 494 00:23:12,599 --> 00:23:15,018 Sometimes I have-- Sometimes I've been in situations 495 00:23:15,102 --> 00:23:17,604 where I have sex with people and I have feelings for them, 496 00:23:17,687 --> 00:23:20,399 and then once we consummate them, I'm just sort of, like... 497 00:23:20,482 --> 00:23:23,860 I-- I don't-- You know... I'm emotionally hobbled, somehow. 498 00:23:24,319 --> 00:23:25,987 I mean, after we fucked... 499 00:23:26,947 --> 00:23:29,366 You know, it got weird and then you just dropped off. 500 00:23:29,449 --> 00:23:32,285 I mean, was... was I supposed  to just chase you down and-- 501 00:23:32,369 --> 00:23:34,871 If you thought I was that talented, yeah. 502 00:23:35,330 --> 00:23:36,623 Did you not think I was worth it? 503 00:23:36,706 --> 00:23:38,583 -I did, but I-- -Did you not think you were gonna 504 00:23:38,667 --> 00:23:41,795 be able to show me to people and be like, "Look who I've discovered"? 505 00:23:41,878 --> 00:23:43,505 -Yeah. -That's how it made me feel. 506 00:23:44,131 --> 00:23:46,758 Then, I started to think about it afterwards, and I was like, 507 00:23:46,842 --> 00:23:50,512 "Oh, God, that's so fucking unfair." 508 00:23:51,221 --> 00:23:53,306 That because you wanted to sleep with me, 509 00:23:53,390 --> 00:23:56,184 this whole course of my life has been impacted now. 510 00:23:56,268 --> 00:23:57,561 -I-- -I don't know if it's because 511 00:23:57,644 --> 00:23:58,728 my work wasn't good enough 512 00:23:58,812 --> 00:24:01,690 that I didn't get an internship, that I didn't get introduced to people. 513 00:24:01,773 --> 00:24:04,568 I don't know. You made me feel like my work was good enough. 514 00:24:04,651 --> 00:24:05,986 -It was. -Then it didn't happen. 515 00:24:06,069 --> 00:24:07,821 Okay, it didn't happen because, you know, 516 00:24:07,904 --> 00:24:10,490 I... I bailed on you because I was uncomfortable. 517 00:24:10,949 --> 00:24:13,076 -But the idea that-- -Why put yourself in that position? 518 00:24:13,201 --> 00:24:15,662 -Why put me in that position? -Because I was irresponsible. 519 00:24:16,580 --> 00:24:17,831 -I guess. -Okay. 520 00:24:18,457 --> 00:24:20,834 That's all I'm saying. That's the story that I'm telling. 521 00:24:20,917 --> 00:24:23,128 But the idea that all I was doing was trying to fuck you, 522 00:24:23,211 --> 00:24:24,880 and everything changed because I fucked you, 523 00:24:24,963 --> 00:24:26,965 that I'd finally gotten what I wanted, 524 00:24:27,048 --> 00:24:29,426 and now I was done with you, is just garbage. 525 00:24:29,718 --> 00:24:32,721 So, if that's also the story you're  telling, it's not the right story. 526 00:24:32,804 --> 00:24:35,974 It's insensitive.  But it's your... it's your narrative. 527 00:24:36,057 --> 00:24:37,934 It's your point of view. I understand. 528 00:24:38,018 --> 00:24:39,227 I'm glad you wrote the book. 529 00:24:39,311 --> 00:24:41,980 And, you know, and it- You know,  I hope it does very well for you. 530 00:24:42,063 --> 00:24:44,149 And I guess I'll just fuckin' see it when I see it. 531 00:24:44,232 --> 00:24:45,901 Again, there's nothing I can do about it, 532 00:24:45,984 --> 00:24:47,986 and, uh, you know, my side of it... 533 00:24:48,695 --> 00:24:50,655 I guess I... I don't even know what's... 534 00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:54,618 -I don't know what you have... -What... 535 00:24:55,410 --> 00:24:56,244 ...to lose. 536 00:24:56,328 --> 00:24:59,289 You can't own your own behavior? You can't own that? 537 00:24:59,623 --> 00:25:00,749 Oh, yeah, I can. 538 00:25:00,957 --> 00:25:01,791 I have. 539 00:25:02,626 --> 00:25:05,378 I've lost things before. I've made mistakes before. 540 00:25:06,004 --> 00:25:08,340 But I guess on some level, I... I, uh... 541 00:25:10,509 --> 00:25:11,760 I control the narrative. 542 00:25:17,015 --> 00:25:20,560 I have the pages that are about you... with me. 543 00:25:20,644 --> 00:25:22,812 I wasn't planning on showing it to you. 544 00:25:24,648 --> 00:25:27,734 I don't know why I care. I think it'll... 545 00:25:28,193 --> 00:25:30,946 make you feel better, or understand, or something. 546 00:25:31,321 --> 00:25:33,406 I feel really, really nervous. 547 00:25:35,450 --> 00:25:36,660 -Can I see 'em? -Yes. 548 00:25:37,452 --> 00:25:40,205 I'm... I'm not gonna... I'm not gonna lose my shit. 549 00:25:40,288 --> 00:25:42,457 I understand. Like, I'm ju-- I'm afraid. 550 00:25:42,999 --> 00:25:43,875 I'm... I'm... 551 00:25:44,292 --> 00:25:48,421 preemptively defensive and angry, and, you know, I wanna see your work. 552 00:25:48,505 --> 00:25:51,341 I wanted to see it then, I wanna see it now, at least, just... 553 00:26:01,017 --> 00:26:03,979 I don't know if I can be... here for... 554 00:26:04,104 --> 00:26:05,313 All right, well... 555 00:26:06,147 --> 00:26:07,482 Do you wanna take a walk 556 00:26:07,566 --> 00:26:10,360 -or go to the bathroom? -Yeah, I'll just go to the bathroom. 557 00:26:10,694 --> 00:26:11,861 I'll wait for a minute. 558 00:26:47,439 --> 00:26:48,982 [door opens] 559 00:26:55,030 --> 00:26:55,864 [Jacob sighs] 560 00:26:58,575 --> 00:26:59,451 Um... 561 00:27:01,328 --> 00:27:03,204 It's, uh... It's really-- It's good. 562 00:27:03,496 --> 00:27:04,372 It's really good. 563 00:27:12,172 --> 00:27:13,173 Do you feel... 564 00:27:14,090 --> 00:27:15,383 misrepresented? 565 00:27:16,968 --> 00:27:17,802 No. 566 00:27:18,845 --> 00:27:20,430 It's just your story, you know? 567 00:27:21,097 --> 00:27:24,267 And I... I just... I don't think I ever really... 568 00:27:25,435 --> 00:27:26,436 thought about, um... 569 00:27:29,439 --> 00:27:31,024 the other side of it, really. 570 00:27:31,107 --> 00:27:34,486 You know, I've been doin' this stuff a long time, and, uh... 571 00:27:34,944 --> 00:27:38,281 And I always think that, like, you know, "This is it, this is the truth," you know? 572 00:27:38,365 --> 00:27:39,699 And I don't know that I... 573 00:27:40,408 --> 00:27:41,326 honestly... 574 00:27:42,535 --> 00:27:43,536 think about... 575 00:27:44,454 --> 00:27:46,081 the people who I, you know... 576 00:27:47,332 --> 00:27:48,667 I'm writing about. 577 00:27:48,750 --> 00:27:50,710 But this is your story, and I, you know, I... 578 00:27:51,628 --> 00:27:53,171 I... I think it's, um... 579 00:27:53,963 --> 00:27:56,591 I think it's honest. I think the... the art is great. 580 00:27:58,343 --> 00:27:59,552 And, uh, you know... 581 00:28:00,428 --> 00:28:01,346 I can't really... 582 00:28:02,347 --> 00:28:03,181 defend... 583 00:28:03,807 --> 00:28:05,934 my behavior towards the end of this. 584 00:28:06,017 --> 00:28:08,603 I mean, I...  I think you're... you're right. 585 00:28:09,729 --> 00:28:11,564 But what's odd is that, like, um... 586 00:28:12,315 --> 00:28:14,734 I'm not trying to explain anything, but, like... 587 00:28:17,445 --> 00:28:20,323 Like, I see myself in this,  and I... and I... I don't... 588 00:28:21,241 --> 00:28:23,702 It's very hard for me  to empathize with, uh... 589 00:28:26,037 --> 00:28:26,955 anybody. 590 00:28:27,288 --> 00:28:31,459 And, um, because I just am self involved, and especially women... 591 00:28:33,962 --> 00:28:35,380 How... You know, how do I know? 592 00:28:38,842 --> 00:28:39,968 [chuckles] 593 00:28:41,469 --> 00:28:42,429 Thank you. 594 00:28:44,139 --> 00:28:44,973 But, um... 595 00:28:46,015 --> 00:28:46,850 you know... 596 00:28:47,434 --> 00:28:48,643 during that time... 597 00:28:49,769 --> 00:28:50,854 uh... 598 00:28:51,646 --> 00:28:52,647 I couldn't find anything. 599 00:28:52,731 --> 00:28:53,898 Any work that I was doing... 600 00:28:54,023 --> 00:28:56,735 you know, when I was teaching that class, and having, you know... 601 00:28:56,818 --> 00:28:58,987 and we were talking and stuff, you know? 602 00:29:00,113 --> 00:29:03,867 And , uh... I just wasn't drawing. And I always draw, you know? 603 00:29:03,950 --> 00:29:05,243 I... And I... I think... 604 00:29:08,246 --> 00:29:10,999 there's like two things happening in the brain. 605 00:29:11,082 --> 00:29:13,209 My brain. I don't know if I can generalize. 606 00:29:13,293 --> 00:29:16,337 But, you know, I felt a real connection to you and I was honest about it 607 00:29:16,421 --> 00:29:19,424 and then... and then the sex  did fuck it up, because, like... 608 00:29:20,425 --> 00:29:23,094 that part of my brain kind of went out somehow. 609 00:29:28,308 --> 00:29:29,142 I understand. 610 00:29:29,225 --> 00:29:30,310 -Do you? -I do. 611 00:29:33,062 --> 00:29:35,774 -I do. -Did, uh... Did your, um... 612 00:29:37,442 --> 00:29:38,818 Did your marriage survive? 613 00:29:40,361 --> 00:29:42,322 I mean, it complicated it. 614 00:29:43,656 --> 00:29:46,034 I did... For a while. For a while. 615 00:29:46,868 --> 00:29:48,745 But, you know, it was kind of like a... 616 00:29:49,078 --> 00:29:51,998 daily punishment for a few years. 617 00:29:52,081 --> 00:29:54,125 -Wow. -Which of course, you know... 618 00:29:55,376 --> 00:29:56,628 Is that in the book? 619 00:29:56,711 --> 00:29:57,670 Yeah. 620 00:29:58,213 --> 00:29:59,422 Well, good for you. 621 00:30:03,343 --> 00:30:06,221 I told myself I wouldn't care whether you liked it or not. 622 00:30:06,596 --> 00:30:07,514 [Jacob chuckles] 623 00:30:08,264 --> 00:30:09,432 Here I am, like... 624 00:30:11,851 --> 00:30:13,478 -[sighs] -It's good. And, um... 625 00:30:13,561 --> 00:30:15,522 And, like, I'm... I'm sorry. 626 00:30:15,605 --> 00:30:19,150 I'm sorry. And like, whatever... Like,  you know, it's, you know... I'm not... 627 00:30:20,902 --> 00:30:21,778 I don't know. 628 00:30:22,237 --> 00:30:23,363 It's important that... 629 00:30:24,948 --> 00:30:28,076 you know, these...  these conversations happen. 630 00:30:28,159 --> 00:30:30,620 I... I don't really know what's gonna happen. [sniffles] 631 00:30:30,954 --> 00:30:34,791 But, uh... But like, I am, in this moment, able to take it in, 632 00:30:34,874 --> 00:30:37,502 and I... and I'm sorry, honestly, for... 633 00:30:37,585 --> 00:30:38,628 Thank you. 634 00:30:39,462 --> 00:30:40,672 ...whatever I-- 635 00:30:40,755 --> 00:30:44,092 Well, for behaving like that, dismissing you, 636 00:30:45,510 --> 00:30:47,262 causing that stuff to happen, you know? 637 00:30:49,931 --> 00:30:50,807 [sighs] 638 00:30:51,474 --> 00:30:54,602 And I guess I'm, uh-- I'm-- I'm grateful that it got through. 639 00:30:55,520 --> 00:30:56,396 Okay? 640 00:30:56,980 --> 00:30:59,899 I may be, uh, you know, out of work, but I'll... I'll be... 641 00:31:00,358 --> 00:31:01,359 What do they say? Woke? 642 00:31:01,651 --> 00:31:02,485 I'll be woke. 643 00:31:03,528 --> 00:31:04,529 Woke and broke. 644 00:31:05,572 --> 00:31:06,531 [both laugh] 645 00:31:08,992 --> 00:31:10,910 It's not as bad as you thought, right? 646 00:31:11,536 --> 00:31:12,370 No. 647 00:31:13,454 --> 00:31:14,414 Yeah. 648 00:31:14,497 --> 00:31:16,916 [clears throat]  Well, I... you know, good luck with it. 649 00:31:17,625 --> 00:31:18,585 Thank you. 650 00:31:19,210 --> 00:31:20,461 Thanks for talkin' to me. 651 00:31:22,255 --> 00:31:23,673 Thank you for talking to me. 652 00:31:24,757 --> 00:31:26,217 And it's, uh... you know... 653 00:31:27,051 --> 00:31:28,177 It's good to see you. 654 00:31:30,805 --> 00:31:31,639 Yeah. 655 00:31:32,223 --> 00:31:35,852 ♪ Care a little ♪ 656 00:31:36,144 --> 00:31:39,564 ♪ Care a lot ♪ 657 00:31:39,772 --> 00:31:43,276 ♪ Let me love you ♪ 658 00:31:43,526 --> 00:31:47,322 ♪ Let me not ♪ 659 00:31:47,947 --> 00:31:49,991 ♪ But that wouldn't change ♪ 660 00:31:50,074 --> 00:31:50,950 [door buzzer sounds] 661 00:31:51,034 --> 00:31:55,955 ♪ The way I care for you ♪ 662 00:31:56,414 --> 00:32:00,043 ♪ That wouldn't make me think of ♪ 663 00:32:00,126 --> 00:32:01,794 -Hello? -♪ Someone new ♪ 664 00:32:01,878 --> 00:32:04,339 Hey, it's Jacob. Can I come up, please? 665 00:32:04,422 --> 00:32:07,383 ♪ Somehow I know I'd rather ♪ 666 00:32:07,717 --> 00:32:09,719 ♪ Live life through ♪ 667 00:32:10,178 --> 00:32:16,225 ♪ With this crazy feeling I've got ♪ 668 00:32:16,309 --> 00:32:17,268 [door closes] 669 00:32:17,352 --> 00:32:21,189 ♪ Care a little ♪ 670 00:32:21,272 --> 00:32:23,733 ♪ Care a lot ♪ 671 00:32:23,816 --> 00:32:24,651 Hello. 672 00:32:24,734 --> 00:32:25,568 Hi. 673 00:32:28,321 --> 00:32:29,530 I'm gonna sit in there. 674 00:32:37,789 --> 00:32:39,165 [door closes] 675 00:32:44,462 --> 00:32:45,505 How's it going? 676 00:32:52,887 --> 00:32:53,930 Okay, so... 677 00:32:54,555 --> 00:32:55,598 Hm. 678 00:32:56,265 --> 00:32:58,017 I'm sorry about the park. 679 00:32:59,352 --> 00:33:00,186 That was... 680 00:33:00,436 --> 00:33:01,437 embarrassing. 681 00:33:02,355 --> 00:33:03,690 Fucking ridiculous. 682 00:33:05,608 --> 00:33:06,776 I'm ridiculous. 683 00:33:07,026 --> 00:33:07,902 Mm-hm. 684 00:33:10,738 --> 00:33:12,115 And, uh, you know, about... 685 00:33:13,491 --> 00:33:14,409 the other night... 686 00:33:15,201 --> 00:33:16,035 um... 687 00:33:17,203 --> 00:33:18,788 I have been thinkin' about it. 688 00:33:22,917 --> 00:33:23,918 It was nice. 689 00:33:26,379 --> 00:33:27,296 It was nice. 690 00:33:28,339 --> 00:33:29,215 It felt... 691 00:33:29,841 --> 00:33:30,758 you know... 692 00:33:31,551 --> 00:33:32,927 It felt comfortable. 693 00:33:34,429 --> 00:33:35,388 It wasn't weird. 694 00:33:38,099 --> 00:33:39,434 I mean, come on. 695 00:33:41,728 --> 00:33:42,729 I love you. 696 00:33:42,812 --> 00:33:45,565 I mean, you know, we've been together for a long time. 697 00:33:45,648 --> 00:33:48,067 Why would that, you know, just... 698 00:33:48,151 --> 00:33:50,862 I don't-- It just takes me a couple days, I guess. 699 00:33:53,322 --> 00:33:54,490 You know? When... 700 00:33:56,492 --> 00:33:59,120 you fuck your best friend, it takes a minute to... 701 00:34:00,079 --> 00:34:00,913 process... 702 00:34:01,247 --> 00:34:03,416 process, it takes a day or two. 703 00:34:04,250 --> 00:34:05,126 You know, when... 704 00:34:05,960 --> 00:34:06,919 you try to... 705 00:34:07,545 --> 00:34:08,838 push her away and 706 00:34:08,921 --> 00:34:11,674 you know, fuck everything up  and then, you know... 707 00:34:13,259 --> 00:34:14,177 Yeah. 708 00:34:14,761 --> 00:34:15,970 I don't need to do that. 709 00:34:17,138 --> 00:34:19,182 What would it be like if you didn't? 710 00:34:21,059 --> 00:34:22,143 Um... 711 00:34:22,435 --> 00:34:25,104 Am I challenging you too much right now? 712 00:34:25,646 --> 00:34:26,522 No. 713 00:34:28,232 --> 00:34:29,233 No. No. 714 00:34:29,484 --> 00:34:30,818 -Are we-- -Oh... 715 00:34:44,665 --> 00:34:45,708 I mean, come on. 716 00:34:48,086 --> 00:34:49,921 [sighs] We're old. We're so old. 717 00:34:50,004 --> 00:34:52,006 -I'm so tired.  -[both laugh] 718 00:34:52,090 --> 00:34:54,175 I'm so tired. 719 00:34:55,551 --> 00:34:58,888 I know. And I--  And I'm exhausting. I'm exhausting. 720 00:34:59,847 --> 00:35:03,434 But you know what's weird about me is like, not only do I exhaust you... 721 00:35:03,851 --> 00:35:05,686 I exhaust myself. 722 00:35:07,355 --> 00:35:08,231 [Jacob sighs] 723 00:35:10,942 --> 00:35:11,984 I really... 724 00:35:13,569 --> 00:35:16,114 I'm experimenting with listening. 725 00:35:17,073 --> 00:35:18,491 Gonna try that for a while. 726 00:35:18,574 --> 00:35:21,410 I've, like, you know, I've gone  my whole life without doing it. 727 00:35:22,829 --> 00:35:25,706 I'm gonna try to be, uh, more... um... 728 00:35:26,666 --> 00:35:28,167 -open. -[sighs] 729 00:35:29,335 --> 00:35:31,212 I mean, I'm... I'm ready to relax. 730 00:35:31,295 --> 00:35:32,588 -Oh, yeah. -Right? 731 00:35:33,256 --> 00:35:35,341 Like, this feels good. We're relaxing. 732 00:35:35,842 --> 00:35:38,386 Like, you know, I don't know what's gonna happen, but... 733 00:35:39,095 --> 00:35:41,556 I mean, come on, we... we've been together so long. 734 00:35:42,515 --> 00:35:43,975 -Shh. -Okay. 735 00:35:45,351 --> 00:35:47,311 -You know, you are... you're... -I know. 736 00:35:47,436 --> 00:35:48,938 You're seriously... 737 00:35:49,355 --> 00:35:51,566 -Dude, you're a pain. -I know. 738 00:35:51,649 --> 00:35:54,569 -You're such a pain in the ass. -I know. I know, but... 739 00:35:55,361 --> 00:35:56,362 [sighs] 740 00:35:57,446 --> 00:36:02,118 -I don't regret it. I don't regret it. -No. No, super pain in the ass. 741 00:36:02,910 --> 00:36:05,121 I've always been that. Come on. 742 00:36:10,793 --> 00:36:12,628 I mean, I may need a place to live. 743 00:36:12,962 --> 00:36:13,838 [both laugh] 744 00:36:25,141 --> 00:36:26,184 Okay? 745 00:36:26,309 --> 00:36:27,310 [laughing] 746 00:36:31,647 --> 00:36:36,194 ♪ I'm still here ♪ 747 00:36:38,070 --> 00:36:41,991 ♪ After telling you ♪ 748 00:36:42,074 --> 00:36:44,660 ♪ So long ♪ 749 00:36:46,370 --> 00:36:50,458 ♪ I'm still here, baby ♪ 750 00:36:52,752 --> 00:36:55,421 ♪ After saying that ♪ 751 00:36:56,464 --> 00:36:59,383 ♪ I'd be gone ♪ 752 00:37:00,468 --> 00:37:04,305 ♪ And now maybe, I was just ♪ 753 00:37:04,680 --> 00:37:07,892 ♪ Talkin' out of my head ♪ 754 00:37:07,975 --> 00:37:11,437 ♪ But baby, if I wasn't ♪ 755 00:37:11,520 --> 00:37:14,607 -♪ Can I take back what I said? -♪ Ooh ♪ 756 00:37:14,690 --> 00:37:15,775 ♪ 'Cause when I ♪ 757 00:37:15,858 --> 00:37:19,320 -♪ Need someone to hold -♪ Hey, baby 758 00:37:19,403 --> 00:37:21,280 ♪ You're right here to hold ♪