-[music] -[phnoe rings]
-Why, Wayne? -[phone hangs up]
You control the narrative of your life.
Bye, Wayne.
What?
No, it's okay, I was just lost. It's fine, I got it.
Take the fuckin' boot off my car, Wayne!
I know you love me, Jazz.
I don't fuckin' love you! Just take it off!
I'm sorry.
-Fuck. -[Woman] Oh my gosh.
Bitch.
[Toya] Did you take that pill yet?
Don't do it, bitch! The nigga rich!
[Jazzy] Ladies, when you need answers,
start CSI-ing that motherfucker's social media.
What is this bitch username?
Come on, Wayne. Do you follow your fiancee?
3.2 million followers? What the?!
Okay, all right, okay. They went to college together...
Oh, Dooley!
Okay.
Dooley, Dooley, Dooley...
"Dooley da man"?
Boy, get outta here.
838 followers, we gettin' somewhere, okay!
All right.
Do you follow your cousin-in-law?
"The glamorous Whitney"? Bitch, please.
Okay.
"Welcome to the glamorous life of Whitney Thompson."
Fuck, her page is private! Shit.
Okay.
Oh, shit. Toya!
Hello?
[Operator] You have a collect call.
You will not be charged for this call.
The call is from "Toya", an inmate at a federal prison.
To accept, dial nine now.
Hello?
Happy birthday!
To my fat-ass cousin with a rich-ass boyfriend
with a good-ass dick and a lotta money, bitch!
Happy birthday, girl!
Ugh. Thank you, girl.
[Toya] What'd you get?!
Girl, not a damn thing.
He ain't even call me for my fuckin' birthday.
Well, shit, the nigga probably rentin' out the arena
for a candlelit dinner or some shit.
[Jazzy] [sighs] Yeah, I guess.
Did you take the pill yet?
Not yet.
[Toya] Well, shit! What the fuck you waitin' for?!
Ain't it been, like, two days or some shit?
Unless you wanna keep the lil motherfucker.
I mean, yeah, but...
[Toya] Oh, shit.
Well, lie and tell that nigga you pregnant,
see how he act, then decide!
Hold, hold on. Bitch, get out my mouth!
The fuck is wrong with you?!
I'll beat yo ass here. Bitch, come get Grizz!
Get Grizz before I do!
Girl, who the fuck is Grizz?
Yeah, bitch ugly as hell,
got a face of a fuckin' grizzly bear,
so we call her Grizz for short.
Okay, well, thank you for callin', I appreciate it.
Back yo big, stankin' ass up!
Somebody better get Grizz!
Don't get into no shit, Toya!
[Toya] What you wanna do, bitch?!
Come on, Grizz, come on!
You wanna fight me, then just say that!
Fuck.
[music]
[phone buzzing]
Private? What the fu-- [gasps]
He's calling me from his house phone!
Hey daddy, what's up?
I miss you so much, I wish you were here.
[Fayard] Oh baby, I know.
-What the fuck?! -[Fayard] Excuse me?
Daddy, Dad, Dad, Dad!
Dad! Hey, what's up, Dad?
[Fayard] Your mummy and I are so sorry
we can't be there for your birthday.
[Louise] Happy birthday, baby, we miss you!
Aww, you guys, too! How's Jamaica?
[Louise] Your father's got the heat rash.
Oh, dang.
[Louise] We found an aloe plant at the resort,
so we broke off a piece to put on it.
I don't think that's what that was for,
it's decoration, I don't think...
[Louise] Then why do they have it outside if you can't use it?
-Okay... -[Louise] Never mind that.
When we get back home,
I'm going to make you a big cake.
I love you guys.
-[Louise] Love you, too. -[Fayard] Love you.
Wayne, Wayne. How does it feel to be engaged?
Feels great, man.
[Interviewer] So, what's next,
Are you looking to expand your family?
No comment.
[Interviewer] Oh, come on,
Wesley needs a little brother or sister.
I'll, I'll think about it.
[Jazzy] You'll think about it?
Nigga, you don't even be wearin' no fuckin' condoms!
How 'bout you think about that?!
Bitch.
[music]
[Jazzy] It's not even the fact that I want any kids right now.
It's the fact that Whitney and I
could very well be pregnant at the same time,
and we'd have two completely different outcomes.
And on top of that,
Wayne hasn't even hit me up for my birthday.
his communication has been fucked up
ever since I gave him some that night.
I guess he's that comfortable.
Guess it's just me and you.
♪ Super star Her life is a movie ♪
♪ A pretty girl with sass in her walk ♪
♪ Want it all the life of her dreams ♪
♪ But tripped when she fell for love ♪
♪ Now she feelin caught up ♪
♪ Caught up
[music]
[Jazzy] Shit, it's my birthday,
and I am not about to let Wayne fuck up my vibe.
So, I emptied out my savings account,
and I decided to treat myself to a day of shopping
followed by pampering.
But who was I kidding?
I looked at my phone every other second
to see if he hit me up.
-Oh! -Whoa!
-[Jazzy] Oh my God! -Here, here.
-Let me get that for you. -Sorry!
[Jazzy] I was so fucked up over Wayne's ass,
that I ain't even notice this fine motherfucker
in front of me!
Damn, and listen, he had on them gray sweatpants, too.
Ladies, you already know that's lingerie for niggas.
You better watch it next time, lil mama.
[Jazzy] [nervously laughs] Thank you.
-You okay? -[Jazzy] Yeah.
Okay, I hope nothing's broken.
[Jazzy] No, I think it's okay. Thank you so much.
You're welcome. Whoa, whoa!
[Jazzy] I know, I know.
The quickest way to get over someone
is to get under someone else.
But you know how it is
when you can't stop thinkin' about a person.
[Darius] Why you in such a hurry?
You runnin' to go see your man or somethin'?
[Jazzy] I wish.
Excuse me?
I mean, where are you runnin' to?
To get a massage.
See? I knew it.
So...
Who got you all stressed out?
Oh my goodness. Can I help you?
Look, I don't mean any harm. All right?
My name is Darius. And I, I think you're beautiful.
I don't mean any harm, either, Darius.
My name's Jazz. I'm just...
It's my birthday, and my girlfriends,
they planned somethin' really special for me, so...
-[Darius] Oh, snap. -I gotta go!
[Darius] Well, happy birthday.
-Thank you. -You welcome.
Well, look, listen.
I know, you know, you got your birthday plans
with your girls and all, and I ain't tryin' to interrupt.
But are you on social media?
[Jazzy] This dude will not let up.
Yeah! Yeah.
But you're not about to, like, be weird and stalk me
and send dick pics and stuff, right?
[Darius] Nah, I ain't no thirsty nigga.
But bitches do like my dick pics.
All right. Okay, here.
All right, okay.
Well, it was nice meetin' you, birthday girl.
All right, well, you take care.
-[Darius] I will, you too. -Thank you.
-I'll hit you up. -[Jazzy] All right.
-Aight, enjoy your massage... -Pride nigga, damn!
[music]
I hear it's your birthday.
[Jazzy] Holy shit.
Yeah, yes, it is.
Well, happy birthday, Miss Jazzy.
My name is Vin,
and you've got me for a 90 minute deep tissue massage.
[Jazzy] You can go as deep as you want.
[Vin] Does that sound about right?
Yes...
Yes.
Yeah, that's correct.
Before we start,
is there any areas you would like me to focus on,
or any specific areas you want me to stay away from?
[Jazzy] You can focus on everything!
You know, just do your thing, and focus on what's needed.
I'll listen to your body, then.
[Jazzy] If my coochie starts talkin' to you,
don't listen to her.
She is desperate and grieving right now.
Lavender okay?
That's great.
What'd you say your name was?
Vin.
Like Vin Diesel?
Well, yeah, Vin, but not as in Diesel, as in Jackson.
I like Jackson better, anyways.
Oh, shit!
Sprayed it on myself.
[Jazzy] You see? I still got it, y'all.
He all blushin' and shit.
I knew I just needed to tap back into my feminine superpowers.
I'm gonna step out for a minute.
And why don't you go ahead and get undressed
to your level of comfort?
Lay down under the sheets face down.
I'll be back in a moment. Okay?
[Jazzy] To my comfort level?
I am about to be butt boonkey naked up under here.
[Vin] Mm, why so tense?
Long story.
[Vin] I got time.
[Jazzy] Bruh, I am trying to relax and take a nap.
Are you kidding me?
But since you insist...
And then I fucked him.
Damn!
You supposed to hold out.
I know, I know, it's just, I just...
I can't resist him sometimes, you know?
It's like he be havin' me under a spell.
Women used to say that about me, too.
[Jazzy] Nigga, stop lyin'.
Oh, for real?
It's just like his charm, his smell, his sex...
I just...
I just can't help myself sometimes.
Well, it be like that sometimes.
You know, I feel like...
I feel like I gave him all my power.
Well, now you gotta figure out how to get that back.
-[Jazzy] Get it back? -Yeah, your power.
How am I supposed to do that?
You have to figure out how to shift the energy
back into your favor.
So, you basically want me to play games?
Play your game.
[Jazzy] Why does everybody want me to test him?
Test him how, by seein' if he forgot my birthday?
I wasn't gonna say that. Could work, though.
You know, since birthdays are big for you.
But reserve judgement if he does forget.
You gotta see how he bounces back from that.
How is he supposed to rebound from forgetting my birthday?
Because guys forget!
You know, if he's sincere, you'll know.
But...
What I was gonna say,
is didn't you say that you might be pregnant?
I mean, shit, I could be.
The way he was hittin' it,
I might have sextuplets in this bitch.
Well then, tell him that you're pregnant,
see how he reacts.
That'll tell you everything that you need to know.
[Jazzy] He must be talkin' to Toya too, because shit!
How is that gonna tell me?
Well, if he's excited about havin' a baby with you,
then that nigga probably loves you.
If he starts gettin' quiet, stutterin' and shit,
sayin', "I'm not ready..."
He was playin' you.
[Jazzy] Jazz, consider the source.
You can't take advice from someone
who's never been in Wayne's position.
Look at him, he doesn't even know what it's like
to have two women.
I know I've never been in his position,
but here me out.
It's like a relationship.
You're always ready if you love that woman.
And it's the same for a baby.
If she's the one, yo ass will get excited.
[music]
[loud cheers]
Happy birthday, Jazzy.
Even though we have to work, we gon' turn up all night.
Make a wish, baby girl.
Over this here champagne.
[Jazzy] Bitch, if you don't stop actin' like we friends...
Make it good, mami.
[Jazzy] Well, I'll leave y'all to guess what my wish was about.
Did you make a wish?
-To our girl Jazzy! -[excited yelling]
♪ I'ma hit the floor
♪ Seen you watchin' when I'm walkin' through the door ♪
♪ Wasn't ready, now you askin' for some more ♪
From my table.
Jazz, you remember Earl, right?
The Earl that comes in here every weekend just to see you?
Who's in love with you, girl?
How can I forget?
♪ Poppin' bottles, baby, I'ma take a sip ♪
This one's for you.
[music]
You good?
Girl, just the birthday blues, I guess.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
I cannot allow you to feel bad on your birthday.
I'll beat a bitch ass for you, so who did it?
Was it Ashley? I'll drag that bitch right now.
Fuck this job.
You know what, honestly, this time it was not Ashley.
One time for the birthday bitch!
Wait, what's wrong?
Was it Ashley?
'Cause I don't even know why she wanted to come in there
carrying the champagne.
I saw your face.
You were pissed.
You want me to go accidentally spill these shots on her?
'Cause I will.
Uh-uh, bitch, you not wastin' no liquor on her ass.
No, no, no, I agree, I am just saying if you wanted me to,
I would.
I don't give a fuck.
Earl will just buy more.
I love you guys.
We love you, too!
Now can we please take these shots?
Where's mine?
Abort, abort.
I told my table it was your birthday,
and they wanted me to give you this.
-What? -Yeah.
Ashley, oh my gosh, this is, this is so nice.
-I, I cannot, here, I can't. -No, no, no, it's okay.
I already took some off the top, so...
[Jazzy] This bitch off the chain.
'Cause it's my table.
Oh, okay, well thank you very much.
I appreciate it, girl.
Okay, well, let's go tell 'em thank you together.
They're scammers who'll probably end up in jail next week,
but they got a lotta money.
[music]
Happy birthday, Jazzy.
Nigga, bye. My birthday was yesterday.
Look, can I explain?
[Jazzy] Can you explain?
You always got some whack-ass explanation.
You're full of shit.
Aight.
I'll take that.
You know what? I'm tired, so I'm gonna go.
You just gon' walk away from me like that?
What do you want, Wayne?
Jazz, come on, babe. I'm sorry!
No, you're a sorry-ass nigga that's always fuckin' sorry.
That's what you are.
Can you just get in the car?
For what?!
Because I wanna give you these.
So, you think a cupcake
and some flowers that are gonna die in a couple days
is supposed to make up for you missing my birthday?
It's not just any cupcake. It's red velvet.
[Jazzy] Oh, he is good.
From Karen's Kupcakes?
Yeah, your favorite.
Happy birthday, babe.
Come on, let's talk.
Man, you such a freak.
You love cream all over your face, don't you?
[Jazzy] Nigga, shut up.
Karen put her foot in that damn cupcake,
and I'm pissed you only got one.
[Wayne] You crazy.
You mad at me?
[Jazzy] Ugh, why does he have to be so charming?
I literally waited all day to hear from you, Wayne.
Like, what the fuck?
I really am sorry, Jazz.
Don't lie.
Well, I...
If you're not gonna keep it a hunnit with me,
then I really can't do this with you.
I know you were with her.
Wesley's sick.
[Jazzy] Do not bring your son in this.
-And even though today was... -Yesterday.
And even though yesterday was me and Whitney's anniversary...
And my birthday.
We spent the whole day in the hospital.
[Jazzy] Damn, his alibi is sealed tight.
But not even a text, Wayne?
It takes ten seconds, not even!
I'm here now, Jazz.
Woo-hoo! After my birthday.
Look, look...
If it means anything to you,
I wanted to be with you the entire day.
I thought about you the entire day, girl.
Well, you could've just told me that.
You literally could've just told me what it was
instead of havin' me here thinkin'
that you don't give a fuck about me.
It was just a lot going on.
I bet.
Can I read you somethin'?
What?
[phone buzzing]
You have got to be kidding me!
Just hold on one sec. It's probably about Wesley.
I'm sure it is.
[scoffs]
Unbelievable.
[music]
[Wayne] Jazzy, wait! I'm sorry!
Don't fuckin' touch me!
I just needed to handle somethin' real quick
so I can spend the rest of the night with you!
The rest of the night with me, Wayne?
This random nigga right here has a better chance
of spending the rest of the night with me.
I'm down.
-Nigga, get the fuck on! -[Man] You got it.
Spend the night with me, Wayne?
For what, what you gon' do?
You gon' take me to another unmarked location
with roses and, and, and candies and cupcakes and shit?
Well, I got a better idea.
How 'bout you just leave me the cupcakes
and get the fuck on.
♪ Hey baby, think I'm feelin' brand new ♪
♪ Got some things I wanna...
Please, Jazz, just read my letter.
[Jazzy] Close my fucking door!
♪ I don't wanna stay
♪ Oh, no, no ♪
♪ I'm not playin' games ♪
♪ On no one
♪ I don't understand ♪
♪ What you want from me
♪ I don't wanna stay, yeah
♪ Actin' like you have the right of way ♪
♪ Acting like you got me here to stay ♪
♪ But baby, I ain't takin' no more calls from you ♪
♪ Walk out the door, leave you behind ♪
♪ I was a fool fallin' for you♪
♪ Don't ask, don't you say "I'm sorry" ♪
♪ Nothin' you do will change my mind ♪
♪ I don't wanna stay
♪ Oh, no, no ♪
♪ I'm not playin' games
♪ On no one
♪ I don't understand
♪ What you...
[Jazzy] I feel like I gave him all of my power.
[Vin] You have to shift the energy back into your favor.
You've gotta test him.
♪ You're mad because I don't pick up on the phone ♪
♪ When I needed you, you left me all alone ♪
♪ Turnin' the tables... ♪
[music]
Bye.
What do you want?
I wanted to talk to you.
[Jazzy] Are you stalking me?
What? Of course not.
Your schedule is pretty predictable.
You gotta work on that.
Wayne...
You know, I'm actually happy that you're here.
'Cause I need to talk to you, too.
You go first.
[Jazzy] No, you drove all the way down here.
No, babe, I wanna listen to you.
Wayne, I'm pregnant.
You heard me?
What the...?
I thought you was on the pill!
So, that gives you the right to shoot the club up?
I never told you that.
Okay, okay, okay, aight.
That's all you gonna say?
You sure it's mine?!
The fuck?
I mean, I ain't tryin' to disrespect you...
Well, that's exactly what you're doin', Wayne!
You're disrespecting me.
All right, I'm sorry. I'm just askin'.
I mean, you do meet a lot of motherfuckers in the club.
So, that means I'm fuckin' 'em, too?
No, nigga, it's yours!
You're the only person I've been with.
Okay.
Okay, okay, aight.
Can you please just say somethin' else besides "okay"?
You just told me that you pregnant with my baby, Jazz!
What am I supposed to say?
Y'all drop this news on dudes,
and you think we're supposed to know what to say
and how to feel immediately?
And the fucked up thing is we're all fucked,
no matter what we say.
[Jazzy] That's a fact.
You got it.
Oh...
But wait.
Didn't you have somethin' you wanted to talk to me about?
I did, but I don't know.
I, I don't know what I gotta say anymore.
So, what's next, are you looking to extend your family?
No comment.
Oh, come on, Wesley needs a little brother or sister.
I'll, I'll think about it.
Are you all right?
I'ma need some time.
I don't know how to feel right now.
I gotta give you time.
Because you don't know how you feel?!
What about me?!
-You did this shit! -I know!
I... I understand that.
Just let me figure this out, okay?!
Take your time.
Wayne Thompson.
Jazz!
[music]
♪ My love, we're flowin'
♪ A waterfall
Bye, Jazzy.
He's a keeper!
Who's that?
A bitch that's probably already in your DM's.
What?
Look, that doesn't matter.
What are we doin' about this baby?
Can we go somewhere private to talk about this?
Let me guess...
Your car.
After you.
[music]
So, what we doin', Wayne?
Have you given this any thought?
Because if you not gonna love this baby,
I can just go ahead and...
Go ahead and what?
Nah, don't play with me.
So, you want me to have our baby?
Is that what you want?
Nigga, I'm askin' you!
[Wayne] And I'm askin' you.
You so fuckin' whack.
-[Wayne] What's whack? -You deflecting!
I'm not deflecting.
[Jazzy] So then, answer the question.
Why can't you just tell me how you feelin'?
Because I asked you first!
Okay, I...
I don't know if this is a good time.
Of course you would say that to me.
[Wayne] Right, you asked me, and I'm bein' honest.
You know what? It's...
It's what I already knew. It's cool.
And what's that?
That you...
[phone buzzing]
You've gotta be fuckin' kidding me.
Go ahead and answer it.
Nah, I'm here with you.
No, answer the phone, Wayne.
Nah, she'll be aight.
You know you need to get that phone.
[Wayne] I'm here to talk to you.
Just answer the fucking phone.
You sure?
[sighs]
Aight, just, just give me 30 seconds.
I promise, all right?
[Vin] If he's excited about havin' a baby with you,
then that nigga probably loves you.
If he starts gettin' quiet, stutterin' and shit,
sayin', "I'm not ready..."
He was playin'.
[music]
[Wayne] Is Wesley okay?
♪ Nah, no, that's unlikely
♪ See, I'm on my own time
♪ Why they online diggin' up dirt? ♪
♪ They tryna gold mine
♪ But that they won't find
♪ I've got a strong mind
♪ This gift is priceless
♪ So, pay 'em no mind
♪ Yeah, you can put it all on me ♪
[music]
[text message alert]
Hell no.
[music]
[Wayne] Dear Jazzy, here's five G's.
Get you somethin' nice for your birthday,
if you haven't already.
Shit, knowin' you, you probably spent your savings
on treatin' yourself to somethin' nice.
Aside from money,
I wanted to write down how I feel about you.
It kinda turned into a love poem.
From me to you.
My dearest Jazzy,
if I could turn back the hands of time,
I would've found you sooner
so I could love you and only you.
You know, you always ask me what is my favorite this,
and my favorite that.
I usually can't answer.
But I know my favorite thing to hold.
My favorite thing to hold is you.
And I hope you'll never let me go.
[music]